Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 36. Katy Wix - S3 Ep.3

Episode Date: June 10, 2021

On this week’s podcast Ed is joined by writer, comedian, actor and his fellow contestant from Series 9, Katy Wix. The pair go through episode 3 of Series 3 and dig deep in to the flag meal task, the game Twister and why glitter pooh could still be a good thing. Get tickets to Ed's Touredgamble.co.uk Buy Katy’s book - Delicacy: A Memoir about Cake and Death https://www.amazon.co.uk/Delicacy-memoir-Katy-Wix/dp/1472261194 Pre order Bring me the head of the Taskmaster https://taskmasterstore.com/products/bring-me-the-head-of-the-taskmaster Watch all of the Taskmaster on All 4https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail]  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com    Taskmaster the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for AvalonTelevision Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. It's the Taskmaster podcast. Of course it is. You know that. It says it on the taskmaster podcast of course it is you know that it says it on the little button where you hit play it or download it or something uh it's ed gamble here uh talking to you of course at the moment about taskmaster series three we're currently deep into taskmaster series three episode three we're chatting about today it's's only five episodes. So we're sort of getting towards the climax of the series. It's a brilliant series.

As you know, you'll be watching along with us. That's the best way of listening to this podcast. Go back, check out all four, watch the old episodes, and then come back and listen to me and my special guest go through all of the tasks, chat about them, where we think Greg was right, where we think he was wrong, and what we would have done in those situations.'s the podcast in a line that's the elevator pitch if i was pitching this podcast in an elevator that's how i describe it but also that'd

be weird because it's already a podcast you're listening to it now i'm tired so our special guest today is katie wicks brilliant katie wicks uh we did the same series of taskmaster series nine uh she is a wonderful comedian writer actor novelist now uh and she's just written a book called delicacy a memoir about cake and death i own it do go and get it people are raving about it we'll chat about it at the end of the interview i'm sure uh but But do go and buy that because she's a brilliant writer and it deserves to be read. So let's chat about Taskmaster, though. I can't wait.

I mean, for me, this series is just a way of getting everyone's opinions on Paul Chowdhury. So let's crack in to Episode 3, Series three of Taskmaster on the Taskmaster podcast. Welcome again, Katie Wicks, to the Taskmaster podcast. It is a pleasure to have you back. Hello, long time listener, second time caller. Long time listener, second time caller, Katie Wicks time caller katie wicks she's back baby by the third one i'm gonna be i'll know exactly what to say by the by the fifth time i'll be a great guest i feel like long time listener uh fifth time caller is that's never it's never

gonna wear off that i think that's perfect um of course, we were on the same series of Taskmaster Katie, but we just thought you'd be... Can't deny it. Can't deny it. It's out there. It's been recorded. But we thought you'd be a good pundit to get back for one of these historic episodes,

Taskmaster Series 3, EP3. Did you watch this at the time when it went out? Oh, well, maybe not at the time but i don't know if we spoke about this last time but as soon as i knew i was going to do it i did go back and watch loads yeah i mean i'm open about that and i'm really glad i did because then when you realize that badil didn't watch any then you then you saw because you do kind of you sort of learn the language of it that sounds like really pretentious but I don't know how else to say it. But it did help. It did help.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, yeah, when you see like David not asking them to do any editing on the tasks and like, so it's just a man doing a thing. It really helps to have watched him. That's why, I mean, David's not been on this podcast yet, but I think I'm saving him until we actually get to talking about series nine because there's no way he's going to go back

and watch an old episode, is there? He'd be as baffled as he was when he was on the show. I can't wait to listen to that one. Yeah, but I remember him saying to me something like, well, you know, I liked Alex. So I said, yes. Or like, I'd seen Alex do his thing. Maybe he thought

it was you know an hour of Alex's stand up and he'd been asked to just like watch or something it's like an audience with Alex Horne

I think he thought he'd been asked he was going to just ask a question when the mic got to him Alex where did you get

all your ideas from and that was it he didn't think it would be about quavers he did keep trying to ask questions about his career he put his hand up a lot and he was yeah oh great i love we're only three three minutes into the recording we've already slagged off i'm glad that's really I know, I feel really bad. No, lovely man. Lovely man. This line-up for Series 3 is quite astonishing. I think this

is a really well put together cast. Yeah, it's brilliant. You wonder whether those comics have ever been in the same room together until now they certainly react like they've they've not really hung out before yeah i mean dave dave and dave and al i think are clearly getting on well and clearly know each other quite well but it's just the paul plonks in the middle there is oh yeah it's like they've never met him or anyone like him before that's so true that's so true i thought um the amount of um fat shaming towards our was really unfair i don't think he's fat

no and he was he was in his pants you know in one of these episodes and it was good It was good. When I was watching it, I thought you wouldn't say that now. Times have changed. Times have changed. The climate's changed. You would not shame Al Murray. And also, he's a beautiful figured man. He's a beautiful man inside and out. Beautiful man.

The best battery operated item now obviously there was a bit of like a bit of giggling in the studio from the audience who obviously jumped to the fact that it might be some sort of sexual aid and the rest

of the contestants and Alex and Greg both are quite shocked by this that that was everyone's first thought in the audience i'll be honest it was my first thought as well it was my first thought yeah yeah it was my reptile brain and front brain first thought first thoughts together yeah yeah i totally agree and why not and why not let's be honest exactly why not um would you if this was in our series though would you have thought beyond the reptile brain uh and brought something i think i suspect you would have done you you

brought in very inventive prize tasks uh and made your own well also i brought in a sort of massive wooden dildo for another thing so i think it would have been one one deal too many yeah no I the things I thought of well they were actually really like horribly earnest so the first thing I thought of was a hearing aid which is an amazing thing that has a battery and then I thought what do I love that's got battery other than that my ring doorbell I really like I think I really bought that it's like changed my life a carbon monoxide detector that's quite important god what else did I think about that had a battery I had to write something down but you've you've gone with you would have gone with like genuinely good good inventions that have contributed to society like the hearing aid the the ring doorbell which is interesting that you

like that i find it quite annoying really why do you have loads of notifications just saying there's something this movement well yeah movement and then also if i'm out and there's parcels coming i don't yeah it's so frustrating being like well there's another one there's another one i've missed that's really annoying i'm gonna have to deal with that when i get back i prefer to just find it's a surprise yeah i agree i mean well i mean god i i could talk about this it's a real relief i didn't realize how much i needed to talk about my ring doorbell till just now but i'm also where it's really unfunny but um i turn the notifications off so it it's totally pointless. So it is pointless. But I obsessively look at it because, well,

so I got broken into and the Ringdorfer was there, but they just like kept the hood up. So it is pointless in that respect. But it rarely works. Like when I press that thing and I'm shouting. But then also what I think at its funnest, it's when i press that thing and i'm shouting but then also what i think it at its funnest it's when it's it i get a thing saying there was someone there and i click on it and it's just like a close-up on a crow's eye two minutes have you ever had that no that's

terrifying disturbing beautiful yeah i had one which was like a squirrel just sort of looking at it face on um I live in quite a leafy area and live in a forest so it's it's it's pretty fun it's pretty fun let's go through what the others brought because no one brought a ring doorbell because that wasn't an innovation back then um but what was an innovation was Dave brought Ewan theep, which is a sheep that plays white noise to get his baby off to sleep. Quite a sweet notion, I thought. Quite a nice idea. Yeah. It's quite sort of, when you involve children, it's quite sort of manipulative, isn't it?

Like emotionally. So do you think that's what he was doing? Do you think he knew exactly what he was doing? I think so, but it didn't work. Didn't it score quite poorly? It got one point, yeah, which I thought was a little bit harsh. I thought it was hard done by. I think now we're at the stage, it's episode three of series three,

Chowdhury's getting pity points all over the shop here. Do you think you got any pity points? I'm not sure. There were a couple of times where i felt i was i mean i think everyone has those moments where you're like surprised to get points for something because yeah you thought it was awful everyone in the room thought it was awful and then for some reason greg's decided it was quite good um i'm not sure they're pity points i think they were misjudged points but um yeah, but the dreadlock hairband. Oh my God.

Yeah. I forgot about that. That was great. That was, we didn't see in action, which was quite sad about, but I feel like it sort of twirled like a helicopter. Yeah.

That, that kind of felt like he was like, he sort of saw it on the way in. It felt like, no, like he might've sort of been walking past like a pound shop and it was outside or whatever yeah that felt like no thought but i kind of respect that i kind of think that's quite you know he's really committed to this he's got committed to a persona and i respect that well he won't explain anything beyond one one sentence or

one word so he'd just say like true his way of explaining things is just saying what it is and then saying in it so that's so true yeah that's a real that takes real guts yeah it really does and everyone's laughing yeah i think i think he doesn't know but also does he know i mean it's the con it's we've talked about it on every episode of this bit so far it's the enigma of paul chowdhury does he know what he's doing does he know? I mean, we've talked about it on every episode of this bit so far. It's the enigma of Paul Chowdhury. Does he know what he's doing? Does he not know what he's doing?

Had you worked with Paul? Have you worked with Paul previously? We did a gig once. It was at my old university. It was the first time I'd been back. It was Warwick, which is where I went. So it was really, you know, a mixture of feelings to go back and um I I was in a double act I was doing stuff with Anna Crilly and we completely died it was awful I mean it was kind of awful to die the place you know where you went and I think he did really well he was like on

after us and we all got in a car home together I think Anna drove us back from Warwick University and I don't think much was said. So that's my only like deal with him. I was just dying in front of him at the place I went to university. Perfect. Do you remember, was he wearing like a dreadlock hairband at any point? Was he wearing that light up thing in the car on the way home? He was covered in batteries. Batteries in his pocket.

Somehow he got four points for that. Al Murray brought a Wall-E toy. This is my one point, really. I think this was the... Oh yeah, that was desperate. It was really desperate. It wasn't even manipulative. He didn't even involve his kids. It was just, he just that was desperate. It was really desperate. It wasn't even manipulative. He didn't even involve his kids.

It was just, he just found a toy. He presumably got it from his kid and just went, you know, that'll do. So, you know, it was, it just, it felt like, it kind of felt like he thought about it and saw what was in front of him that day. Yeah. Felt a bit like that, didn't it? No disrespect, Al disrespect and from the

high of his first i think his first price task was bringing in his oven for the clock which was pretty amazing i think he spent all once he decided on that i think that he was like well i'll just i'll think of the rest of the day he took the rest of the the month off yeah yeah yeah that's really good i haven't watched that app that's a really that's really really good or i haven't seen it in ages yeah that's very very strong uh sarah pascoe brought her ipod um which dates the which dates the series really doesn't it that people were still knocking around with ipods i thought that was pretty good yeah i thought that was pretty solid because it's a big this is back when people used to bring in taskmaster prizes that if they actually lost them it would be a great of great damage to their life emotional cost yeah totally a financial cost i

totally i thought that was really really good and also i don't think of it as having a battery like that was sort of yeah i mean obviously it does but uh it wouldn't have been my first thought so i thought that was really good no that's that's how one route like route one i tend to think is when i heard batteries i was like oh the big round thick things even when you said hearing aid there i was like i don't think you could get a battery into a hearing aid katie think it's right they're powered off ears um i would love the sun and rob brought in a light for a toilet that actually yeah that that deserved what yeah the four points that was that was good because it's really practical it's great i don't know why

didn't that take off after that i'd love one of those well i have those plug-in lights night lights that come on as you walk past and yeah i love them i absolutely love them all different colors my we's all different colors so it's great fun it's really fun you can see your own we changing color they're great that would be useful wouldn't it just take a pill to make your wee light up. Well, do you remember glitter poos? I do not. Excuse me. Please.

Please, tell me more, Katie. Get ready to have your life changed for the worse. Because I think it was a, maybe it was a thing. My friends saw it in Japan, I think, like all these things. It was like a tablet of glitter you could swallow that was safe that would make your poo and pee have glitter in it. It's a real thing, I swear to God. But what, I mean, I don't know why I'm asking you why,

because you didn't invent them, but could you see any purpose to that? Because life is long. And you've got to fill it with something paul already i'm petrified as to what you may have brought us in i bought a hairband in it of course it is it's got everything you need on there dreadlocks i need more than dreadlocks the dreadlocks light up oh they light up oh then it has got everything right so let's move on to task one in this episode uh it's another classic task fill this

egg cup with your own sweat most sweat wins you have 20 minutes your time starts now and then only rob beckett you must complete the whole task speaking in an accent different from your own i mean let's talk about that straight away very funny that he was given that extra task and also he lent into it with the fervor that i was not fully expecting and talk about things that wouldn't fly now some some of those accents he looks so genuinely stressed about as well and confused what i was surprised at is that i would have picked one and just spoken like that he was yeah he he made it much more difficult for himself because he was sort of sliding around like different regions which made it even more stressful i just would have picked and all the worst what he did all

the worst ones i couldn't identify a single one i'm not kidding i thought it was irish the first one was irish definitely right but then he definitely really heavily lent into jamaican for quite a long time i found it really hard to identify because they all like he said was do you say that he was just moving his tongue around yeah just seeing what happened. Yeah, yeah, it was... Yeah, he's very lucky. Yeah. He's lucky he got away with it. The Irish was my favourite, I think.

Yeah, the Irish was really unexpected. Yeah. Because it was really unclear for the first few syllables. Yeah. But it was. It's really good. And he really went for it. He really went for the accent,

which would have made him sweat more, I'd imagine. But then just the whole task, he really went for it. He put all those layers on. He ate like raw chilies. Yeah. And then tried to squeeze his head

like it was a big sponge. I think he really, really panicked, the poor boy. Yeah, that was hard to watch, to be honest. I would have had a migraine triggered by then. I would have been out.

Yeah. What temperature are we on? Can't cross at the moment, the heating. Can we turn it on, please? You want me to go and turn it on? Yes. Can we turn it on, please? OK, I'll go and turn it on.

Thank you. OK. And bring the portable heaters in. Got it. OK? OK. I'll go and get me coat. Do you know what you would have done? What would have been your first thought to get the sweat going? This would have been really tricky for me because i've got a bit of a prince andrew going on and i don't i don't sweat i sweat very much i'm not a big sweater

and the thing is i so i started doing boxing recently yeah and even the teacher commented on it that i don't sweat a lot so it's not because if I say that it's like oh haha maybe you're not like doing enough but like boxing's really hard yeah and I don't sweat loads even then so it's I would have found it really difficult and I think I would have done what Sarah had done because everything else looked like hell and like I would have I would have instantly had a migraine and lied down yeah yeah if I mean I think you could have maybe said in the studio, unfortunately, I don't sweat. I was shot at in the Falklands. Don't sweat. Yeah, Sarah put a bucket hat on as if that would do something.

I forgot about that. Which really made me laugh that she thought her first thought was put a bucket hat on but then working out the the hack of buying sweat off other people to make it her own i thought was really really clever actually thinking about what was the wording of it can you remember the exact wording yes i have it right here uh fill a egg cup with your own sweat my sweat wins so i think she she definitely thought around it in the right way because she bought it and made it her sweat and it was her own yeah her own i mean the thing is though is that like what's not clear is how if they were going to measure it and drop i guess like it doesn't say how they were going to measure it on that task no so you could

like the only thing i thought the other thought thing i would have thought to have done is either like like wiped myself so it was like all over something like a cloth and then put that in and then like someone like rinsed that out because that seems easier than getting drops what i like about that suggestion is that at no point were you suggesting that you'd ring it out yourself you're like i'm just gonna wipe it and like you know oh god i mean this is really disgusting but like i was dating a a performer years ago who would sweat so much on stage and that they would like ring their t-shirt after yeah and it would have things so it's like that image comes to mind of course like why can someone like like twist their that's such that's such a good point thing that was my first thought and then i thought i would just sort of

write the word sweat because it's still mine and then just sort of put it yeah just my sweat just write my sweat on a piece of paper and then roll up put it. I think your first idea might have been better. I would have done both. Yeah. I would have done both. No, I think that's a really good point. And I'm surprised that no one thought of it. I absolutely didn't think of it watching it back.

I mean, you'd have to be drenched, but at least you'd get some like, I mean, I really liked Dave Gormer, but the rivet did make me feel quite sick, I have to say. The arse sweat. Yeah. I mean i mean yeah and also he did admit i think he admitted on last week's episode of this podcast that he cheated in that one as well so what did he do spit some water yeah spit i think it's spit or water or something yeah spit maybe um what when no one was looking how did he do that yeah so desperate to win that man but i'm glad he admitted it do anything yeah i feel like you cannot i feel like it's a very alex's gaze is very intense it is it

is but yeah he's still i mean he still didn't win i don't think did he and do you think was that al's real piss yeah i think you could see him doing it he didn't even go to the toilet to do it which is what blew my mind he didn't go he got the job didn't and he just went into that bit in between the door and the plastic because i i know like where the toilet is as you will and i was like watching to see if he went to where i knew the toilet was in that in that house and he didn't go there so i was thinking the same thing like oh maybe it's a sound effect of, of pissing, but it was like a saucepan of piss. I hope they threw that saucepan out.

We had no, we all got cooked lunch in that saucepan. They cook everyone boiled eggs in the morning. We all cooked our eggs. But yeah, I mean, let's talk, let's talk about Alfred,

but I mean, that is madness to do that, but he was so pleased with himself. His smile when he walked back in, holding a saucepan in his own piss was pretty incredible he's like he's he's like a really educated man and and the problem is i think it really goes to show when sometimes when people say things with authority you really sort of believe them and then later it turns out to sort of be bollocks and you're like oh yeah he just said it in such an authoritative way yeah i was like yeah i mean obviously they have some sort of relationship like sweat and piss okay yeah yeah yeah but that's

real that's really true because i bought that as soon as he said it i was like well am i saying it you know he went to oxford he went to oxford yeah he would know exactly and then i'd forgotten that he doesn't get any points for this and basically he was told that that was that was bullshit but i think i've still told people that since that urine and sweat are the same thing, forgetting that he was absolutely disproved. Yeah, yeah. Or I guess they're, and also both are mainly water. That was quite a fun fact.

But yeah, I mean, it must be, it does sound correct when he said it. If someone had said to me saliva is sweat in that moment i would have gone oh yeah yeah yeah right yeah good point actually yeah good point um and what obviously what's worse than humiliating yourself and making yourself look disgusting and pissing into a pan than doing all of that and still getting naught points for it and being disqualified an absolute waste of time from al murray um it's a real fall from grace isn't it to oh it really is with yourself and and slap down a like a pot of piss and the most yellow piss by the way he needs to hydrate seriously needs to hydrate that's why he's not sweating yeah he's really yeah oh it's not points for al murray it was two points for rob uh three points for dave's ass

uh four points uh for sarah and we haven't even talked about paul five points for paul he really went he just did absolutely the most root one basic thing he exercised he's a very in shape ripped man is paul chowdhury and he did everything he could think of. High jumps, lunges, running. Unlike you, Katie, boxing makes Paul Chowdhury sweat. Yeah, there you go. Really impressive. But also he had that little spoon. And I don't know, did everyone have that little spoon?

I'm sure they had access to the spoon. It was a good idea to use the spoon. That was good. The scraping. And that was pretty nasty, the idea of scraping. But God, it idea of scraping. Yeah. But, God, it's so funny. The moisture in the cream.

What did he say? I creamed. I creamed. I creamed myself before. So sweet. I wonder if he creams every day or if it was like, I'm filming today, so I'll cream. I think he said it in such a way that he creamed before the show

that he creams, I think he creams every day. I think he looks after his skin. Yeah, I agree. Very odd, odd coloured sweat, but that was covered enough by Greg. And I knew that line was coming and it still made me squawk. So five, five big points.

That's great. Five big points for Paul Chowdhury. And this is the point where Paul's in the lead and there's a lot of excitement that Paul might win an episode and he is so excited about it. He's going, oh, really? You're kidding me? I'm just willing him to win an episode at this point because he's so excited by it.

Paul, why is it that colour? I'm going to ask you a straight question here, mate. Are you blacking up? LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER

We know you've got some fake dreadlocks. LAUGHTER I'm feeling a little better with my accents now. LAUGHTER Er, task two, make the best domino rally you have one hour your time starts now would this be one that would have appealed to you katie yeah it's um i mean i definitely grew up in a sort of culture of dominoes being about my brother was really into them but also I I really yeah I think I would have got into it I really love those I think they're called Rube Goldberg machines is what I want to say I've never made one but I'm kind of quite into like watching videos of them yes yeah

so I think they're hard though I think they're really hard though. I think they're really hard. They take quite, like, the good ones take real skill and thinking. So I think I would have either got really, really into it or just sort of done a lazy one with dominoes. No, I would have found it fun. I thought to use humans was, like, really inspired. I genuinely was like, that's delightful. I wouldn't have thought of that. But I would have tried to make you know like like a thing where

it's like something goes around on um on a oh god I've still got vaccine brain on what's it called like a record player that knocks like a spoon that does that into an egg like the kind of consequences thing I would have got really into it but um I would have enjoyed it yeah I think I would have ended up going quite route one because if there was dominoes in front of me i'd be like well they want me to use these dominoes and i would have done it like dave gorman did basically um and he was very pleased with himself and he did deserve it was a very strong domino rally and i think you get the impression dave gorman that he's done that before oh definitely definitely yeah i i always feel like when you look at them

they have to be quite close together and i think that's what was Sarah's mistake was that's quite hard when you do when you start putting them out like and take that formation that's quite challenging yeah I like the idea behind it she did it in her own style I feel I mean yeah but they had they had an hour right they did have an hour to do it okay yeah I've had an hour, right? They did have an hour to do it. Okay, yeah, I've had an hour. Yeah, I would definitely have tried to come up with something that maybe started with Domino's or ended with Domino's with some other kind of thing involved. Yes. Well, my only other thought was just ordered loads of pizzas,

one after another, and tried to say that. I have a constant stream of Domino's deliveries and try to say that i have a constant stream of dominoes deliveries and try and call that a domino effect a domino or i guess a domino effect would just be to eat them all and then like feel sick that's like a domino effect or when the first delivery driver arrives get him to call for another delivery and just keep getting dominoes delivery drive i mean i would there's no way i would have thought of that katie i'm only doing it now because i'm relaxed i know that's the thing if i if i could have done it all relaxed god things i would have done

i know dave used 434 dominoes which is genuinely quite quite impressive yeah how many were there i reckon he must have used all of them. I felt like he was so competitive. Was it like unlimited amount of dominoes? They surely would have put a cap on it at like 10,000 or something. They can't have had that many kicking around.

I think I just got down on my hands and knees and started putting out dominoes until the hour was up. That's basically what I would have done in a panic. Or maybe that but with what i would have done in a panic just like yeah or maybe that but with bourbons would have been really fun yeah nice and then being at the end would let your mouth open ready for something yeah you've got it yeah um al's al's made me laugh because he was so smarmy about creating the word best in dominoes it's like the best domino rally and then it didn't work it's just so delicious just to see that sort of thing not

a good episode for him yeah yeah he did he sort of looked like he was back at school and it was sort of sports day uh robs uh robs was great like you say using the humans i love using the van and push it over i thought it I thought he thought about scale. It was inventive. And it felt a bit dangerous as well because the van was driving towards the humans. That took an hour. I look at that and I think he's come up with that. He's worked everything out.

It took an hour to set up and he did it compared to Sarah's. She didn't even write a script for the Take That concert. That was clearly improvised. Well, it was great. And also it was quite, there was something quite sort of distressing about seeing like those people kind of awkwardly fall to their knees and then like, and then pushing the person in front of them. It was like they didn't really know what was going to happen either. Yeah.

Because when I first saw it, I was like, how are they going to just like stay bolt like stiff and but it was like they sort of dropped their knees and then genuinely fell into each other yeah yeah some of the things that the crew the like the runners and the the aps and all the people like that to go through is awful it's like they probably didn't have knee pads just put on this boiler suit and just like when when this pushes you, just like try your best to not like knock your teeth out. Yeah, you're going to hear a van. Don't panic.

We're probably going to stop it before it runs you over. After lunch, you're going to hear a van. You're going to put this on and then you're just going to like fall. No one will catch you. They'll just be like someone else's back. Into a paddling pool. Paul's, I thought Paul's was was quite good but i don't think this deserved to win but i guess the the egg is the key isn't it oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i think

people want to see i think that's what people want to see though don't they they want to see like some sort of magical looking contraption that breakfast machine yeah exactly that that just has some sort of knock-on effect some sort of consequence that feels like whoa all i did was do that yeah now these other things happen like chain reaction type thing it's genuinely quite exciting and i do watch those videos on insta oh yes those people those things people make did you see alex horn did another show which is was that monty a butterfly his show yeah i was just gonna say that Those things people make. Did you see Alex Horne did an Edinburgh show? Was that Monsieur Butterfly, his show? Yeah, I was just going to say that. Where he built one of those.

It was incredible. I was talking about it yesterday and I called it Mr. Butterfly. So yeah, that makes more sense. Monsieur Butterfly. Yeah, it was an amazing show. Yeah, exactly. I feel like, didn't he build one from scratch on stage?

Yeah. And the whole thing, yeah, yeah. So yeah, he would have thought of this task. Meanwhile, at the back of the concert, Hi, I'm Sarah Pascoe. I'm really dancing. What's that in the distance? I can hear a volcano. POOF Oh, no, a volcano's erupted.

POOF What's that smell? Oh, my God, it smells like that gas that makes everyone go really stiff and fall over. Oh, no! You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that.

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Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow join us at yorku.ca write the future task three this is a taskmaster favorite as alex says buy a gift for the taskmaster here is 20 pounds you have 20 weeks your time starts now um we didn't get to do this this had long gone by the time uh by the time we got to our series uh but obviously i'm going to ask you do you know what sort of thing you might have tried to buy greg with the 20 pounds yeah it's funny because i sort of think like the sort of time element feels like

important like you should make something of it rather than just buy an object funny enough i had a couple of ideas but then earlier today there was a really beautiful chandelier in the charity shop window for exactly 20 pounds and i just thought well why not he's like a nice big chandelier who wouldn't like that he would i think i think i thought either these are actually really lame i thought it'd be really fun because what was good about the footstool was that it's something that you can like like you know he's going to enjoy it there and then in real time in the studio it's like yeah like my friend said this who's really good at buying gifts he does this thing where if he's with a friend and they mention,

like they have a gripe or they grumble about something or they go, I wish I had this or I could do this. They always like make a note and think that's what I'll get them, which is a really lovely system. That's good. Yeah. To sort of go, well,

you know what? Greg's got no footstool. That that's like good thinking. Find a, find a gift. food stall that that's like good thinking find a find a gift i thought it'd be fun to do a thing where there he gets like a food delivery at that exact moment for up to 20 pounds including tip um of just like a sandwich or something yeah if the moped came on yeah came onto the set exactly so the moped comes in

some poor runner or like a real Uber Eats guy just get him a nice pudding or something or a bag of sweets so that was my I think that's my best idea and then it was something like

I thought I'd just spend 20 weeks collecting things that said Greg on them. Like, you know, just crap things. Because Greg's quite, it's not like, you know, a bought license plate. It's quite, you know, there's quite a lot of things around that say Greg. You know, like a key ring and whatever, a mug, a pen. He quite likes tat as well, Greg. I think if you bought him something like Gordie or like, yeah, I think he'd be into it. whatever a mug a pen he quite likes he quite likes tat as well greg i think yeah he likes

something like gordy or like yeah i think i think he'd be i think he'd be into it and i think he likes things to do with himself and that's what i would have done presented a sort of box of greg items but i think yeah i think a food delivery would have been that's a great idea like a pizza or whatever at that at that exact moment. What I thought as well is it doesn't say you can only spend the £20. It just says here is £20. So it doesn't say that's the budget. So I think the only way to really, really stand out from the crowd. You mean spend less?

Spend like £1? Spend nothing. Don't give up anything. So I think if you go out out you could go over budget massively which would make you stand out just buy i would have bought him like a paintball gun or something like a proper high-powered professional paintball gun he would have loved that yeah no you're obviously right he would have loved that i mean i also thought like he'd quite have liked a foot spa, going with the footstool theme. That's nice.

That's something he could have done there and there in the studio. Flying lessons, he would... I mean, you could go on and on. You can think of things that are more than £20 that are good. There's lots of them. That's true, yeah. A nice deep tissue massage, I would have liked that. Yeah, now you're just thinking of things that you'd like right yeah exactly yeah

um but let's hear what everyone else went with um dave again really did his research but a lot of that research was false uh loads of stuff based on when um the story of when uh when town fc's biggest game, the programme from that, a bottle from the WEM brewery. And Greg seems sort of heart-warmed by that slightly. I thought that was really thoughtful and nice. I feel like Greg doesn't like football. I'm sure I've heard him say that.

Yeah, I don't think he does. But I thought it was, yeah, it was like almost brilliant. What I liked about the football one is when it was like second on the list of things that Dave had. And he was so eager to get through this list of great stuff. He was so happy with what he'd bought. And he went, I understand you support Wemtown. And Greg went, I didn't know they existed. He went, well, it says on your Wikipedia you do.

As if to say, you do, Greg. You do, so accept this. Oh, God, Wikipedia. But he's still got the five points for it. And Rob brought the footstool we've talked about, which it matched as well. I thought that deserved to win. I know.

It was really well thought out. I thought it deserved to win. And also, the whole thing, it matched. It's practical. You can get one for less than 20 quid so it's totally you know believable yeah i thought that was yeah totally no i was very very very very impressed by that um al's was great as well i thought the 20 pounds worth of the last rolo yeah it's a really nice idea um yeah unless you think think about the fact that al just got loads of rolos out of it uh but the gesture the gesture was lovely it's

quite romantic that was that was and also it was just a box full of paper as well yes yeah yeah i like that yeah it was good um paul uh brought in Twister because Greg likes the ladies. Yeah, that's kind of weird. Really weird. Why he enjoyed more than the reveal was just like everyone's expectation of what the hell it was going to be. It really felt like it was going to be a blow-up doll. Yeah, or just something gross.

Something gross I thought it was going to be. And in a way, Twister was grosser. Yeah. Just the idea of Paul Chowdhury trying to pick up women by saying, come back and let's play naked Twister is just not on. And also the idea of Greg being into playing Twister, it's just kind of, it doesn't fit with the Greg I know.

I feel like he's bigger than the, longer than the board. Yeah. I mean, like it would be hard to, or easy, because there'd be not much stretching involved. It would just be like, yeah, I've done that. I don't, yeah, he's big, but I wouldn't say flexible. I think maybe so. Yeah, yeah.

So he could, coverage he could be good at, but not like, yeah. Twister's not his game. And also it's not Paul's game. Twister's not his game. And also, it's not Paul's game. He's creamed himself. He'd be slipping about all over the place playing. He'd be slipping about. And Sarah, for £20, wrote one page of script for Man Down. I thought that was inspired.

It was a really good idea, I thought. I loved it because she's right. Time is the best gift. Yeah. I thought that was really inspired. thought that deserved yeah to win actually I yeah I think but I think all of these had that Twister should have lost probably um but all of them had something so it was a bit arbitrary how they how they were ordered um and Greg seemed happy with the scripts on the script page for Man Down which I was slightly insulted by, because I actually did write on Man Down.

He never looked that happy when I brought in my one page of scripts. Your one page? Oh, my God, that's so funny. I was thinking about one of the things that money can't buy is time, and I know that you're in a very successful sitcom called Man Down, and also you have to write the sitcom, and I thought what I would do with my money is write some of it for you. But the next scene is...

APPLAUSE To save you some time. APPLAUSE Oh, because it was only £20, I've only written one page. LAUGHTER If you want the rest, you'll have to pay for it page by page. Task four. Create the best flag meal.

You have ten minutes to choose your flag and plan your meal. Then 30 minutes to prepare your meal. Best flag meal wins. Your time starts now. That was great. One of the all-time bests. Really is, yeah. I think so.

Loved it. I could have watched it all day amazing i feel like there should be a thing where there's a bonus app where everyone makes a flag meal at the end were there they all look quite satisfying i think were there any were any that jumped into your mind straight away flag wise that you would have made that i well here's the thing though i think that what wasn't talked about enough was there was some attempt at, is it a meal, though? And I feel like that should have been clearer, better defined,

because I feel like, because I assume that, because Dave did the most cooking, I'd say, and that constitutes, it depends how you define meal. That's the problem, isn't it? Because I thought Sarah's was really amazing and looked good and looked like it would be really yummy and I and I'd say that was a meal because it was like pudding but um rice alone isn't really a meal so I feel like there was some attempt at caring and then it kind of went out the window is it a meal or not Alex kept saying it but no one else yeah no no one was

listening to him said it meant just quieted himself but is it a meal though he kept saying and no one really cared but um it really bothered me like does it have to be does it have to have three components does it have to I feel like it needs to be a rounded dish so like if you if someone said do you want to come round to my house for a meal and you went round and they got some strawberries red licorice and some white icing you'd think that was weird right yeah yeah i i yeah i mean i wouldn't say anything but i would i'd eat it but i think it was weird but i think Dave's Dave's uh squid ink rice with noodles and cauliflower you could think that's a bad meal but it's a it's a meal nonetheless yeah yeah it was

really it didn't look the best but I think that he it was imaginative and he definitely made a meal yeah and drunk a lot of champagne and I think that's part of why he won so i think you've got you've got to make it look good and it's got to actually be a meal yeah and i think he he was the only one who sort of who fulfilled the brief in that sense i mean i guess paul's was sort of merely it had olives and pasta um yeah paul's was it's really hard to understand what his thought process was um because he it's like he hadn's really hard to understand what his thought process was. Because it's like he hadn't really checked the flag, which is obviously the first thing you've got to do. It had a kind of Harvest Festival vibe about it, you know,

that kind of feeling when you looked at it. Like it sort of looked like dried, like pasta, you know, like the way dried pasta looks. It didn't really look cooked. It didn't look good. And obviously like the, don't pick the Mexican flag because there's such a complicated thing going on in the middle of that. Yeah, yeah. And he really didn't look at it again.

And then he sort of tried to make the eagle with mustard. The thing is, if I was going to be really pedantic, I'd say like the dream version is that you don't dye any of the food. You just think of the food that that's colour. Yes. Yeah. Because I can think of loads of ways of doing the flag I'd want to do, but it would involve just getting whatever and then dyeing it. And I think that's probably not as fun. But first of all, I thought, well, I'd probably have to do the Welsh flag because that's where I'm from.

But again, that's like really intricate, really difficult. But if you had a piping bag, you could just do it. And then I thought it'd be really fun. For some reason, I thought about the Antarctica flag. And you could just use like maybe egg and then you'd have to dye something blue. Or maybe blueberries and yogurt. But I don't really think that's a meal. But I would have done blueberries and yogurt and tucked a flag.

That's nice to use the blueberries. Because I wouldn't have picked blue. Because you don't see blue blue in nature, do you? You don't often. You're only in the sky. Only in the sky. But you can't get the sky on a tray. I've always said it.

You can't get the sky on a tray i've always said it but you can't get this guy on a tray anymore these days um not since not since the ozone al's al's looked good but it was just rice and food coloring so he'd gone with the flag to make it look like the flag yeah you wouldn't want to eat it was a bit boring yeah yeah you want to eat that and rob i actually really like sarah's yeah i really like sarah's i think it looked beautiful but i think eating white icing is tricky like just eating a glob of fondant that would have been really good yeah yeah exactly then you can say it's sort of more balanced or like egg white what's it called what is that stuff called egg white no but what is it called like when you cook it right yeah meringue meringue's nice meringue would have been really good because that would have

been a fair amount of cooking that's quite hard to make or a souffle would have been incredibly impressive yeah just make a souffle i think just make a souffle and go there you go yeah of course al murray was going to do the Union Jack that was really like a given um let's talk about Rob finally who got one point but he knew he was going to get one point he absolutely did it for laughs he saw the white tray he thought I'm just going to plonk a red thing in the middle of it but if everyone like I think Sarah had a point like if you're gonna you're gonna do that then like make the whites as well that would have made it a bit better thing is if it had been the right color it could have been really impressive but it was it was like

um it was like a very dark it was like sort of tomatoey dark red yeah it was it wasn't right in any sense but it was obviously just taking the piss there's somewhere rob's just tapped out completely and decided to go rogue um which you've got to sometimes i think yeah yeah um so it was one point for rob two points for al's united kingdom flag three points for sarah's canadian icing flag four points four points for paul that's mad that's actually great like that that was was higher than Sarah's is mad. They said because he accidentally did the Marley flag that Greg gave him points because... It's easily done. Yeah, he did a subconscious Marley.

I think, again, it was generosity points for Paul at this point. They were willing him to win. I really like rice. Yeah. I love rice. Just as well, mate, innit? Yeah, there was a lot of rice. Just as well. There were three whole bottles of food colouring. Two reds, one blue. Yeah. But it was all right. It was all right.

It didn't taste that bad, did it? Can we call rice a meal? If you eat enough of it, yeah. I mean, if you ate all that, you'd be, oh, what a lovely meal. Would I? Mm, yeah. Boomba,'d be, oh, what a lovely meal. Was I? Yeah. Boomba, fuck you, boomba. Lovely meal.

Let's talk about the live task. Anchor these balloons using only bread. The person with the most fully inflated balloons resting on their mat and held down by bread alone after 100 seconds wins. I would have been so stressed out by this. Yeah, I think I would have been bad at this. I like to think that I would have thought of what sarah did but i don't i don't it's i can really there's also a world in which i can imagine me trying to balance slices of bread just on balloons

to keep them weighted down you know that that's really yeah definitely yeah that would have been the first thing that I tried. It really annoys me when people find a good technique in them and then other people copy them. I find that really unfair. I think everyone should be in their own little bit so you can't see what the other person's doing. That's what I was thinking when I was watching it, that you need like a sort of COVID secure screen up.

Yeah, definitely. You need booths, I agree. I agree. Or blinkered. Yeah. Blinkered eyewear. Huge horse blinkers. Yeah. Blinkers on. Because luckily Sarah won anyway because she innovated the system.

Yeah, that was amazing. People didn't spot what she was doing in time. When other people tried to copy the system, they still managed to get it wrong. So it was it was, yeah was yeah like very very dexterous yeah it was a good it was a good win for her five points for sarah four points for rob three points for dave two points for paul is please tell me he still wins one point for al and luckily paul somehow despite giving multiple pity points this episode still only wins by one point 22 points closely followed by dave then rob then sarah then al but he's so overjoyed to win it's such a lovely moment yeah yeah no i agree i know you just it's worth it just to see his face in the series we've got rob on 55 dave on 51

sarah on 49 alan 48 and paul at the bottom there. 42 points, still only six behind Al, but it's only a five-episode series, so he would have quite a lot to do to take over there. Now, Katie, obviously, in your flag meal, you could, of course, wait for this link, you could, of course, have used some cake, which would have been perfect, because your book, Delicacyacy a memoir about cake and death is is out now it is it is which is very exciting i have

i have a copy over there oh very good i bought it i've not read it yet because i believe you not sure you know i believe i believe you don't whatever you do whatever you do don't show me all the trust is going to go. I'm not going to show you. It's over there. I've got it over there. And I've not read it yet. You won't like it.

That's nothing to do with you. I've not read a book in about a decade. So I will. No, I don't blame you. Reading in lockdown is like, it's a well-known thing. No one can do it. Yeah. It's really hard.

Just don't have the time. Don't have the attention span. Yeah, no correct it's it's out at the moment it's a memoir about it's a kind of it's a sort of feminist memoir about growing up in the uk we're growing up in wales and it's a lot to do with kind of women's relationships with their bodies and eating disorders and it's to do with loss as well so it tackles lots of you know serious important issues but there's a joke on every page if not every line so i guess i mean my favorite things to read are things that tonally have those things sat side by side that, you know, that gets the emotional core of something. And you sort of go, oh, yeah, it is like that, isn't it? But then, you know, uses humor to, well, I suppose, keep people reading, keep people interested. But also, you know, there's always there was always something amusing that I think that's how my brain works anyway.

Even when I was going through things like grieving process and things like that, I like to write about how surreal and often amusing these things are. So hopefully it's not too depressing. But yeah, it's a sort of like mini stories and essays sort of all put together. And Cake is kind of the theme that holds it all together. Amazing. So, yeah, it's, yeah. Well, I'm going to read it.

I'm going to make sure it's the first book I'm going to read since the year 2000. That's a lot of pressure. well thank you very much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast Katie Wicks we of course ask all our guests to rate their experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points feel free now you know you've done the first one so you can you can score it based on your experience i think you must have gone with five i'll give this a five of course yes great it's it's been it's been delightful it's it's lovely it's like the sad thing is it's like when i talk about it it's so totally humorless because i'm just really like interested in talking about yeah getting into this the details of it of you know what constitutes a meal etc exactly exactly if you're watching and

having fun you're not you're not watching it right if you if you're you know you should be making notes exactly pausing it looking up meal in the dictionary things like that exactly if you're not being really pedantic and asking questions then what are you doing exactly that's a good that's a good motto for this podcast actually katie wicks thank you very much for coming on the taskmaster podcast you're welcome back anytime we'll have thank you for five out of five luxury experience thank you very much it's as good as a deep tissue massage for 20 pounds you'd be lucky to find one for 20 quid in london Well, there we go. The Taskmaster podcast done.

Another brilliant time. Lovely to chat to Katie about episode three of series three. We will be back next week, of course. Episode four of series three, the penultimate episode of that series. We'll be chatting to a special guest about that episode. Very happy to say that that special guest for next week's episode is paul chowdhury paul has been on the podcast before he is back to talk about his own series i can't

wait to delve into what he was thinking in general uh if you've got questions for paul uh get in contact with us taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com or if you have any general questions about taskmaster that you'd like me and one of my guests in the future to tackle, Paul or anyone else we might have on, get in contact on that email. Keep watching Taskmaster. Watch along with us. Watch any episodes you like on all four. Check all of those out. Go on to Taskmaster store.

Go and buy some Taskmaster based gifts. Pre-order the book, the new Taskmaster book. Bring me the head of the Taskmaster. That's available to order on the Taskmaster website as well go on the Taskmaster YouTube channel there's so much basically you can fill all day, every day seven days a week with Taskmaster content

we will see you again next week goodbye We'll see you next time. can't get snowballs on uber eats but meatballs mozzarella balls and arancini balls yes we deliver those moose no but moose head yes because that's alcohol and we deliver that too along with your favorite restaurant food groceries and other everyday essentials order uber eats now for alcohol you must be legal drinking age please enjoy responsibly product availability varies by region see app for details