Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 40. Jack Bernhardt - S4 Ep.2

Episode Date: July 8, 2021

On this week’s podcast Ed is joined by uber fan and Taskmaster aficionado, Jack Bernhardt. As well as digging deep in to Episode 2 of Series 4 the pair discuss the upcoming line up for Series 12 and... there is also the return of your BFF, Little Alex Horne! Find Jack’s interview with Alex here: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2021/mar/18/taskmaster-alex-horne-new-challenges-interviewCheck out Jack’s top 100 tasks: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2021/feb/10/the-100-best-taskmaster-tasks-ranked Get tickets to Ed's Touredgamble.co.uk Pre order Bring me the head of the Taskmaster https://taskmasterstore.com/products/bring-me-the-head-of-the-taskmaster Watch all of the Taskmaster on All 4https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com    Taskmaster the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for AvalonTelevision Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:12 Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. I'm Ed Gamble, I am your host and today we are doing a Taskmaster historical podcast. That's what I've decided to call them, the ones where we delve back into the corridors of time and we pluck out an old episode to chat through dissect and discuss we are currently on series four we are chatting series four episode two another belter has been a lot of fun uh going back and watching series four uh forgotten how much I loved it actually it's such a fun lineup um and of course uh go away and watch Series 4, Episode 2, and then come back to this.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Refresh your memory, as I have done, and then you can hear me and my special guest chat all about it. And my special guest this week needs a bit of an introduction. Not a former Taskmaster contestant, but I would say the biggest Taskmaster expert we have had on this podcast, Alex aside. Our special guest today is Jack Bernhardt. Jack is a brilliant comedy writer,
Starting point is 00:01:28 a sketch comedian, and also a journalist, specifically a Taskmaster journalist, I'd say. I'm going to call him that, a Taskmaster journalist. He's interviewed Alex before, a brilliant interview in The Guardian where Alex set him tasks to do so he could feel the full experience
Starting point is 00:01:44 of being on Taskmaster from his office mainly. He's also compiled in his own time the top 124 Taskmaster moments and also the top 100 tasks, which I believe you can also see in The Guardian. He's gone through meticulously, watched and rewatched Taskmaster and ordered these things. Now, of of course it's completely subjective that sort of thing, everyone's favourite tasks and favourite moments, but Jack has done so much research I'd say it's pretty much the only definitive source you can find for the top 100 tasks, so do go and check that out. He knows what he's talking about is
Starting point is 00:02:19 what I'm saying, he's a lovely man, he's a funny man, he is is an expert so can't wait to chat to him about series four episode two your job as ever continue to watch taskmaster on all four uh watch along with us watch any episode you like but it's all out there ready for you keep listening to this podcast go on to the taskmaster youtube watch some extra stuff buy stuff from the taskmaster store get the new taskmaster book etc etc etc buy tickets for my tour electric starting in February next year go on edgamble.co.uk to book tickets I'm part of the Taskmaster universe it is your job to come and see me live for now let's listen to myself and Jack Bernhardt discussing Taskmaster Series 4, Episode 2.
Starting point is 00:03:09 Welcome, Jack, to the Taskmaster podcast. Hello, thank you very much for having me. You are most welcome. Now, by way of introduction of yourself, obviously, often on the Taskmaster podcast, we have ex-contestants of Taskmaster, Jack, but you are many things. You are a comedian, you are a writer uh you are a journalist it's very much in that capacity I think that you're on the Taskmaster podcast because you might be the most obsessive fan of Taskmaster that we've had on yeah yeah that would be that'd be accurate I'd say I think so and I also I crucially have no ambition to be on the show.
Starting point is 00:03:45 I want to be as far away from the show as possible. But you've written you've written some articles about Taskmaster. You did. You did an interview with Alex where he set you tasks. Yeah. And that was traumatic enough. I was like, I'm done now. That's fine. I realized it was it was a bit, you know, when you sort of when you have those TV shows where someone gets obsessive about a thing and then they get to, or they sort of almost like fall into the book. Like if they, they read a book for a while and
Starting point is 00:04:14 then they kind of like find themselves sucked into the book and they're stuck in the world. It felt a bit like that. I was sort of scared by it. I didn't, I didn't enjoy it. Like the Macaulay Culkin film page master. Exactly. Like the Macaulay Culkin uh film page master exactly like the macaulay culkin film page master that's exactly right before before you did that interview did you have ambitions were you thinking i'd love to be on taskmaster that is my dream to be on taskmaster and then you did the interview where you had to do the tasks and so it turns out i'm not i'm not ready for this i'm it's too stressful i think i thought because you know i think everyone does this where you watch Taskmaster and
Starting point is 00:04:47 you go, don't do that. Why would you do that? Don't turn the table upside down and put Wellington boots on it. What are you doing? That's a terrible idea. And then you think I'd be so good at this. I would have all the ideas and then being set the tasks and they're not even I had like four days to do them because it wasn't in a room or anything I just sort of I panicked and I I felt very it's sort of like it took over my life for a while where I was just sort of thinking if this goes wrong I don't know what I'll do I'll have to leave I'll just have to leave the country
Starting point is 00:05:21 and leave and go to another country where they don't have Taskmaster. And that's increasingly, there are very few countries out there that don't have Taskmaster. Most of the best countries that you'd want to live in now have Taskmaster. Exactly. And as soon as like, if I moved to, you know, France or somewhere, as soon as the French Taskmaster started up, it'd be like, well, I got to move again. Okay. Somewhere else. Unfortunately, Le Taskmaster has started up. Couldn't even be bothered to do the most basic translation on that the mitra de task the task bonjour bienvenue a la mitra de task the time starts now
Starting point is 00:05:57 you've also i mean dedicated yourself to um putting together you did the top 100 tasks for the guardian did you yeah i was mostly based out of the fact that towards the end of last year during lockdown i got very like i didn't want to look at the news anymore so i just watched taskmaster over and over again and thought i could i could probably make a list of these i'll do that um and i And I really got into it. And like, it really became a thing. Yeah, I mean, it's great. It's a genuinely very good read
Starting point is 00:06:31 because it does sort of, it jogs your memory about some more obscure ones. Because everyone, I think, when they talk about Taskmaster talks about maybe 10 or 20 big classic tasks get mentioned a lot because they're good introductions to the show. And remembering some more of those slightly more obscure ones is uh is great i think it's just
Starting point is 00:06:48 the sheer number of tasks there are just means that you'll always find one where you go i've forgotten about that and that genius concept and i found myself being like how is that at number 50 there's no way that that that can be that bad and it's not it's because there are so many different tasks that are really good i'm obsessed like i say i'm sorry about this well that's great you'll be an excellent guest on this we are of course uh talking about series four episode two of taskmaster uh today before before we do that jack we thought as a tm aficionado we thought we'd ask you your thoughts on the upcoming series 12 lineup tell me what you think of it and and perhaps what what they'll bring to it because you've watched so much Taskmaster now I think
Starting point is 00:07:30 you can you more than anyone can see the sort of slots that they're going to fit into well yeah I think you have you have your sort of five basic like I mean in a way you could kind of say that uh Taskmaster is like a an ensemble sitcom as it were like you have the sort of different roles that everyone takes on um and i think the you have the brainy person who was then going to be brought low uh by doing something ridiculous so like paul sinner and richard osman and i think that's going to be victoria cora mitchell surely it's got to be i mean she's got to be she's brains personified right she's a she's a big walking brain she's a huge walking brain that's the thing that they don't show on only connect and i've never seen her beaten do you know i mean she always wins because she always outlogics anyone who's talking to her so even on qi she's very good at that being able to like
Starting point is 00:08:20 she'll she'll say a fact that doesn't seem to like confounds everyone and you go oh gosh okay yeah you know exactly what you're talking about yeah and also she's just there's no i don't think she doubts herself oh yeah in any situation so it's going to be very interesting to see her doing the tasks because there's some there's such silly things she has to do surely she must doubt herself at some point i feel like there has to be because for me the like i i feel like taskmaster is all about breaking those people making them do something ridiculous yeah and like the the the one i always think about is the last episode of season two where richard osmond throws a trolley into a river and that for me feels like
Starting point is 00:08:58 the that is like the peak moment where you're like we've broken him we've broken we've broken smart richard osborne and now he's just been reduced into a man throwing a a trolley into a river um so there must be an equivalent moment for that here surely you'd think oh you would hope so you would hope so i mean but it would be again quite stunning to see if she manages to get through it completely unscathed that would be legendary as well that would be a new like that would be a new you'd have to change the rules of taskmaster if that happened i think yeah so what are the other sitcom style roles that you see in taskmaster and who who's filling that in series 12 well i mean it's hard to say because you've got the i think you've got the the buffoon uh and that's in in the most loving way by the way as buffoon
Starting point is 00:09:41 being like the sort of the one you can rely on to be like to sort of barrel his way through stuff and i'd say that's probably going to be alan davis probably yeah but then we've got a problem there haven't we because alan also fills the the role of old man well old man and buffoon can be can be paired together and we're talking about series four today of course it's the huge the Hugh Dennis role. The Hugh Dennis role. So which is Alan going to be? Because, of course, on QI, Alan is a buffoon. But then also, if you meet Alan, he's pretty smart. He's no slouch, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:19 No, you have to, you know, I think you have to be pretty sharp to play that role on something like QI. And I think you're right in the sense that Taskmaster, there's a sort of artifice with something like QI. And I think you're right in the sense that Taskmaster, there's a sort of artifice with shows like QI in a good way where you're sort of like, oh, you're kind of putting it on so that you can kind of do the buzzer and it's fun. Whereas Taskmaster, it feels like it's actually digging down into you and being like, you're going to find out what you're actually made of here. So it feels like you can't bring your B game to Taskmaster. You have to be properly into it.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Yeah, so that will be fascinating to see how Alan comes out. Morgana for me, a little bit more of an unknown quantity, because obviously we've seen a lot of character work. What's she going to be like? I don't know. I mean, it's hard to know, isn't it? Because you sort of part of me thinks, will she be Katherine Parkinson style, me thinks will she be catherine parkinson style like like non not being able to engage with the show at all in many ways in an interesting capacity and and therefore also one of the most
Starting point is 00:11:13 mad people but then also i don't know i feel like she'll be able to take it on in a very interesting way we're gonna like she's she's a sharp cookie yeah sharp cookie that's not a phrase you don't want to shop it is now you don't want a sharp cookie no you don't want to eat a sharp cookie yeah sharp cookie that's not a phrase you don't want to shop it is now you don't want a sharp cookie no you don't want to eat a sharp cookie but you that's what you've got they've booked a sharp cookie what are we going to do about it she's the sharp she's the sharpest cookie in the drawer it's hard because i feel like also it takes about i'd say you it's half an episode in you suddenly go oh okay you're that one.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Oh, right, I see now. And you can predict all these things on the way up there and then suddenly you're five minutes in watching Katherine Parkinson trying to make a catapult out of a shoe and like a garden arch. And you're like, oh yeah, okay, that's the one you are. I get it now. Guz, I can't wait to see Guz.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I mean, Guz is absolutely hilarious. Yeah, Guz will be good i think guz won't take any uh nonsense from greg or alex which i think is what i'm looking forward to no absolutely he will have hopefully an absolute lack of respect for the whole process oh yeah and that and that scores big points i find that the biggest scorer is absolutely not wanting to be there at all okay cool five points um desiree i mean desiree is brilliant isn't she so i i can't wait to see her and again she's someone who is such a she's so smart and so funny and normally i i don't think desiree necessarily takes any shit either and whenever i speak to desiree i feel like she's the most in control person that i know so i'm looking forward to seeing her slightly shaken she's very unflappable i would say she's almost more
Starting point is 00:12:55 unflappable than than victoria cora mitchell in some ways like she seems to like know exactly what's going on and the idea of yeah her thrown into this. Oh, that's very exciting. I think it's a really good bunch. It's a really, really good bunch. Now let's move on to Taskmaster. Let's go back in time all the way to the year that this was in. The TAS Master Series 4, Episode 2. It's the prize task.
Starting point is 00:13:34 It's the most boastful item. Again, this is back in the day where the prize tasks could be described in three words. No longer. There's a distant memory. Now it would be most boastful item you've found in a field in 2004. Most boastful item you can't fit in a shed.
Starting point is 00:13:53 Yeah, exactly. Great, okay. Oh, God. Simply the most boastful item. Let's start. And if you want to give any general thoughts on these contestants as we go through as well please do um with noel fielding uh and his most boastful item was winning the
Starting point is 00:14:12 enemy sexiest man of the year award 2008 already a sharp intake of breath from jack i just it's it's so hard especially if you do something like most boastful item especially in episode two yeah and you're bringing out being the sexiest man in in britain i mean like i think it's hard because all comedians inherently want to be self-deprecating yeah and i think the the decision to go like no i'm the sexiest man in britain in 2008 there's no way you can spin that to be negative no i mean look you've got he's come out all guns blazing most boastful item he's done what it says on the tin right you can't absolutely bring in all these all these comedians neuroses about things about coming across as actually being boastful you've got to be boastful for the thing and let's not forget it's not him
Starting point is 00:14:59 being the most sexiest man in britain it's enemies sexiest man of the year award it's a specific type that may as well read tightest jeans you sound you sound like someone who is not featured on that list and is has a bit it's not featured on the enemy sexiest man of the year award 2008 i cannot believe it i'm still upset about it it's basically on that list is is like him i'd imagine russell brand uh carl barat maybe a couple of other maybe a couple of other sort of quite pale pale men very pale men welcome to the sexiest pale man would they put carl oh yeah carl barat yeah sorry i think he said julian barat i was like would you put you wouldn't put both of the bush in there. You probably would.
Starting point is 00:15:48 In 2008, they were huge, man. Bolo was probably on there. The whole gang. Yeah. I think you're right. I think it's more difficult than most people would realise for him to bring that in, because obviously I don't think Noel's a boastful man. I think he's an arrogant man.
Starting point is 00:16:02 So to actually bring that up and and remind everyone that he was enemy sexiest man of the year uh 2008 was probably quite difficult and i think difficult i think it is it's praiseworthy it is praiseworthy but also it it made me inherently go oh i don't like you oh no how dare you he is shy in the way he brings it up, though. I think he presents it in quite a nice way. Honestly, he plays it just right to get the five points. He plays it in a way that's like,
Starting point is 00:16:32 oh, God, I've got this silly thing. Yeah, I'm so sexy. Yeah, I'm just too sexy. Sorry, everyone. And you can't argue with it. He is sexy, and it's boastful. He's sexy then, and he's sexy's sexy now yeah he's still sexy yeah um well done noel um let's talk lolly uh this this this was nice i thought this was nice it was nice i felt bad for i felt bad for the way they
Starting point is 00:17:03 treated her the way greg was like, oh, it's rubbish. It was a certificate for best, what, being good at maths. So doing GCSE maths at the age of nine, I think is how she presented it. But what it was is that she could do GCSE level maths problems at the age of nine, but it did not turn into any qualification. Which, do you think she tried to take the exam? She didn't mention that. I mean, that would very much destroy the boastful prize item,
Starting point is 00:17:33 wouldn't it? That's true. If she failed the exam. Yeah. Hi, here's the thing I mention at parties. I failed an exam. Cool. Because we can all do that. I bring in my most boastful item is, well, it's sort of a PhD in biomedical science in that I did try and take all the exams, but I didn't know anything about it. So I did not have one. But I was there for 10 minutes, certainly.
Starting point is 00:18:02 The thing is, when people say things like, oh, i did dcc maths at the age of nine even if you've done the exams sort of means nothing in adult life does it because unless you then keep ahead if you're like 35 and going well i'm doing uh maths the level of a 45 year old it doesn't really wow he does maths to a 45 year old level incredible you've got to stay ahead of the game if you want it to mean anything mel get rich let's move on to mel's i mean this is this is such a wonderful insight into mel's life uh she won best rough bore best boring show, and best new bore for her guinea pig at the age of 45. So I think Mel might be my favourite
Starting point is 00:18:50 all-time contestant, I think. Big shout, big shout, but I totally understand it. She is phenomenal. She's so funny, and she's so herself for the whole thing. That's the thing that is really good, is that at never point at no
Starting point is 00:19:05 point do you think that she's putting anything on you just feel like she's having such a good time constantly and and i feel like this is one of those moments as well where because the way she presents it is like look at these prizes i've got and then they have to ask her when did you get them and she says i was 45 and she looks so so happy and sad at the same time oh yeah it's wonderful a wonderful moment i i would argue that's an impressive haul at 45 as well oh it's an impressive haul at 45 but then do remember that i'd imagine everyone else there was a child presenting their guinea pigs weren't they well i don't know maybe look i i'm not aware of the guinea pig the guinea pig situation so maybe that it's something that adults do a lot.
Starting point is 00:19:47 But wouldn't it be bizarre if you went to a guinea pig competition where you had, you know, a bunch of 10 year olds and then it was like, is that Mel Gedroyk? Is that Mel from Mel and Sue? You'd be annoyed if she won in that scenario, wouldn't you? It's true. And I feel, well, no, she wouldn't rub it in. I was going to say, oh, you can imagine. But she obviously wouldn't rub it in. She'd be the nicest person there. I don't think he would be annoyed because he'd be like,
Starting point is 00:20:11 and she would be so nice about it. Yeah. She'd be self-deprecating. Oh, sorry. Well, you shouldn't have. I shouldn't have won. I have no idea why I've entered. And you can be like, yeah, I don't know why you've entered, Mel.
Starting point is 00:20:21 This is fundamentally very weird. From Bake Off. Well, look, now we're on, yeah, I don't know why you've entered Mel. This is fundamentally very weird. From Bake Off. Well, look, now we're on, Mel. Let's cover this because this is a tweet I got last week, Jack. Now, I'm sure this is something that you've noticed as a dedicated Taskmaster viewer. This was from Sarah Montrose on Twitter. This is something I'd never noticed.
Starting point is 00:20:40 Hi, Ed. Just re-watching season four episodes one and two in prep for the podcast. Thank you, Sarah. And I noticed that mel wears her lime juicing shoe from episode one all the way through episode two see photo did anyone else notice this what so throughout episode two and sarah then tweeted me again episode three mel is wearing the black brogue that she picked for the studio task in episode one to juice a lime with she is wearing that shoe throughout the studio record oh that's dedication that's dedication from pure dedication and here's the true level of dedication jack episode two makes sense because they filmed two in a day so they would have done the first episode you have left that shoe on and done it for the left it on for the evening record then they would
Starting point is 00:21:29 have all gone home they came back in the next day to record episode three and mel put the lime shoe back on that that is yeah that's that's impressive truly that's impressive so i'd imagine that will only add to the list of things that makes mel one of your favorite contestants of all time oh absolutely i mean again i feel like i feel like anyone else would have just gone like let's get this thing off as quick as possible the fact that mel is willing to to hold on to it and make that little easter egg it feels like she's willing us to watch the show again and again to find more things that she does like the way uh that she takes a little wax the little wax seals and puts them in a little pocket.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Save that for later. Save that for later and does it every time. And also there's another Easter egg with Mel that Alex wears a tie for all of Mel's tasks and no one else. He's just never done that for anyone else. That's amazing. Yeah, and if you ask Alex why he did that,
Starting point is 00:22:21 he says because it's Mel Gedrich. That's all Alex will say, that he wore a tie because it's Mel Gedrich. Do you think that happened before or after he accidentally felt her up in the hide-and-seek thing? It's an apology. It's an apology. I'll put the tie back on. I'm so sorry, Mel. Oh, God. I can't wait to cover that moment on this podcast. I'm very excited to hear that.
Starting point is 00:22:43 Oh God, I can't wait to cover that moment on this podcast. I'm very excited to hear that. Joe Lysett, his boastful item is a selfie of himself with the Chuckle Brothers. I think this is good. Look, boastful is in the eye of the beholder, right? Sure. Or the opposite. I can't work out which I mean.
Starting point is 00:23:01 If you are boasting about something that you are proud of, it is a boastful item. And Joe loves the Chuckle Brothers and he's very proud of that and that's why it's a boastful item greg not bothered oh it's difficult though because i think there's a is it sort of most impressive item that you wouldn't expect this person to have it's not though is it you're right it's boastful but then if you're proud of having a chuckle because fundamentally joe lysette meeting the chuckle brothers that's not breaking news no one you know no one's gonna be like wow do you hear joe lysette met the chuckle brothers but but then equally okay so i accept the idea that that you know you find boastful
Starting point is 00:23:39 things based on whether or not you find them exciting or not. That logically means that Noel thinks that it actually is very exciting. He's the sexiest man in 2008. Oh, in which case he should be fired from the show. Exactly, because it's a terrible thing to actually care about. Ooh, yeah, that's tricky. Maybe Joe did only deserve the two points. I mean, also, I think the issue with this is the Chuckle Brothers do not mean as much to someone
Starting point is 00:24:05 of greg's age as they do to someone of our generation because the chuckle brothers are huge you know a huge thing that's true yeah it that's true again yeah and i suppose that would be boastful to the that would yeah that then becomes its own boastful item because people who care about the chuckle brothers would really covet it. I don't know. Do you know what? It's ambiguous. It's ambiguous. It's tricky. They should have the things written down,
Starting point is 00:24:32 highly defined, so that people don't make these kinds of mistakes. Yeah, exactly. It should be a more obvious scoring system. It shouldn't be left up to Greg. But even in both of those systems, we all know that Hughes is the worst. It's a loser's medal
Starting point is 00:24:48 from the final of the National Public School Sixer Side football tournament. I mean, there's another horrifically misjudged prize task from Hughes. He brought one in last week where it was clearly a joke. He's clearly brought it in as a joke, and then he suddenly realised that that's not
Starting point is 00:25:04 what you're supposed to do, and you're actually supposed to try hard oh god oh god i i see okay so i feel like he was trying hard for this one right does that make it better or worse i don't know possibly worse you think he thought he brought in a boastful item of a of a loser's medal in some ways hear me out, in some ways, getting to the final of the under six national football team, that's pretty impressive,
Starting point is 00:25:34 isn't it? But surely, Hugh's done more impressive stuff than that in his career. What? My hero? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:47 Did that win a BAFTA? It probably did. It probably did win a BAFTA he probably did yeah okay you're right he should have brought in his BAFTA for my hero if that exists Hugh should have brought that in we're having him on the podcast soon I think so we can ask him if he won a BAFTA for my hero thank you
Starting point is 00:26:02 but one point I think it was misjudged but I love to see Hugh get one point because he really just ping-pongs around in this series as he's clearly gone into it thinking he's going to be the Richard Osman clever one and quite often just I'd say every other time he tries it just spectacularly fails it's a really interesting one because I feel like I feel like the show sets him up to be the the old man yeah and i feel like there are times and we'll see one today where he it really he suddenly becomes the cleverest person in in the in the whole show so it is he's sort of darting between
Starting point is 00:26:39 the two as you say he really is quite exciting in a way no what's your boastful item and why are you boasting about it i won the sexiest man of the year award thanks mom for the enemy awards i can't remember what year it was it's ages ago now 2008 it's all gone to shit since first one keep the basketball on the running machine for as long as possible you may not touch the basketball on the running machine for as long as possible you may not touch the basketball or the running machine the running machine will be turned on in two minutes um now let's let's go through everyone and we'll get to we'll get to hue at the end this is one of those ones those sorts of moments that you mentioned earlier where when i saw this i was sat there going don't do that obviously do the other, don't do that. Obviously do the other thing.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Don't do that. But now I've done Taskmaster. I know I would have done exactly what Noel and Joe tried to do, which is basically piling as much stuff on top of the basketball as possible, trying to block the basketball at the end. And then it just falling apart immediately. Okay. And you're happy with that?
Starting point is 00:27:41 I'm not happy with that. I know, but I know myself now. I've been through that process now. I know what I would do in that situation. And what I would do is I'd grab everything I could from the shed, I'd panic, I'd throw it all at the running machine and then it would turn on and I would lose.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Okay. I see, there's a kind of clarity and oneness that you have with yourself at the moment that I kind of feel quite jealous of in a way. Well, yeah, there's no i i'm not sort of confused uh i'm not confusing myself with the arrogance of thinking that i'd nail this task because i know i know what i do in that situation i feel like if you give me if you gave me six months i would come up with a solution for this task yeah can they do that you have two minutes jack Jack. I would chuck everything. You're right.
Starting point is 00:28:25 I would probably do the exact same thing. Would I do the exact same thing? Yes, I would do the exact same thing. I definitely wouldn't think to do what Lolly and Mel did. Yeah. Okay, so the thing about who is it? Is it Joe who tries to use duct tape to create a bucket? Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Yeah, he does, yeah. yeah to me that's like so i think i can understand what you're saying about noel chucking everything on on the i would i can see myself doing that with joe there's there's almost too much level of thought that goes into like if you've got duct tape and you've got two buckets surely you can come up with a better solution than that surely yeah yeah yeah i mean even just taping the taping the taping the ball to the to the thing but maybe that wouldn't work i don't see this is another thing you just have to if you've got two minutes you've just got to do your first thing sure that's true that's true and you just have to hope that your brain is in gear to make you yeah you just gotta hope you think of a wash basin really yeah no yeah noel
Starting point is 00:29:25 and joe both failed spectacularly i'd say um 3.75 seconds uh and 3.8 seconds uh noel and joe respectively um lolly this is another classic lolly effort um where she designs the perfect hack she's done it already uh in the show she did it in episode one with the ducks on the fence. She designs the perfect hack by putting the bucket over the ball. Yep. But then she doesn't hold onto the bucket. Yeah, that to me feels like, I mean, that is again classic Loli where you're like,
Starting point is 00:30:01 yeah, you've done the hard bit and then you just let it fail. And then invents rules. She invents rules for herself to follow because she doesn't think she'd be a good sport if she held on to the bucket um but she still look she still got four points for the 15.8 seconds and it was a it was a strong idea um a lot stronger i'd say than uh mel's who just made so much work for herself by batting it around like a... The idea that that lasted less time than Lolly's because it seemed to go on for hours.
Starting point is 00:30:30 It seemed to be her just batting this little, with a shovel against the treadmill. With a snow shovel, yeah. With a snow shovel. It's so stressful as well, but she was so proud of herself and she was, that thing again, she was having such a good time. Anyone else doing that, I'd be going, oh God, oh God, what are you doing. And that thing, again, she was having such a good time.
Starting point is 00:30:45 Anyone else doing that, I'd be going, oh, God, oh, God, what are you doing? I was like, oh, no, Mel's having a good time batting that around with a snow shovel. No problem. Again, it goes back to the guinea pig thing. If Mel wants to enter a guinea pig competition, let her. If she wants to use a snow shovel to bat a basketball on a treadmill, let her. You're going to stop her? Nonsense. But, you know know nine seconds three
Starting point is 00:31:06 points very happy for her sure now let's talk about the hue situation first he uses the wash basin and puts it over it and holds onto it as lolly should have done and sits down reads a book he's always thinking of the image he's always thinking of the skit in in fairness i think this is the one time where it really works this is the one moment where it's where it's perfect but wait what's your what's your problem with that well i loved all of that i loved him sat down i loved him reading the book the the thing then is he unplugs the machine and i i vaguely remembered him doing this and being amazed at the time and being like, well, that's absolute genius.
Starting point is 00:31:46 He's just unplugged it and it's fine. Doesn't say you can't do that. But it says you can't touch the machine. The plug, Jack, is part of the machine. You can even hear Alex ask at the end of the task when Hugh's done it, is that part of the machine? Oh, my God. Now, I think I'm not sure if they had that discussion in the studio i think maybe i'll ask alex i wonder if they had that discussion in the studio and they decided to give hugh the victory and decided it was such an impressive flourish and a good bit of
Starting point is 00:32:20 outside the box thinking that they thought they'd skip over the fact that i feel like hugh has broken a rule there because i was trying to remember did hugh take the plug out with something else or did he break the machine in another way but no alex brings him the plug over and hugh unplugs the machine okay well we need to find out the manufacturer of the machine because some manufacturers of the machine have a removable plug that you could say is not part of the machine i would argue yeah no i would argue if it is indeed a removable plug a flex a separate flex exactly then then surely that doesn't count as part of the machine because it would say attach the plug to the machine. Yes. No, I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:33:05 And I'm beginning to see why they didn't get into it in the studio. Because at no point on an BAFTA award-winning entertainment show do you want to hear the phrase separate flex. I just disbarred it from getting a BAFTA though. Yeah. Technically, series four, episode two, it wasn't a separate flex. So cancel it. Now now the only other way i can think of doing it using the hue method and bringing a little bit of my um my instinct to it
Starting point is 00:33:33 uh is using the two minutes um in the style of maybe a street fighter bonus round and destroying the machine until it can't work oh wow okay because i had a thought about this this is what i was saying i wouldn't have thought about it at the time but now because i had a thought about this this is what i was saying i wouldn't have thought about it at the time but now i've had a lot of time to think about it i would try and destroy the ball and then put the put the ball with a stick on top of the machine where it won't run yes very good pop pop the ball pop the ball keep it on there are you then removing the ball at any point from the machine because it says keep the basketball on the running machine for as long as possible
Starting point is 00:34:08 for as long as possible yeah but what if you do it before the two minutes I think you have to keep it on there the running machine will turn on it yeah okay so you'd probably have to drag it along the top of the running machine can you do that in two minutes I reckon you can pop it and then tape the flat ball
Starting point is 00:34:23 to the bottom of the running machine to the bottom of the running machine to the bottom of the running machine but then it'll go underneath the the mechanism probably on the running machine probably break it but it may fall off at that point this is the level of detail which i feel like we haven't got to on the podcast before and i'm absolutely loving it thank you i'm so i was so worried that it would be like oh no it's too far he's gone no no it's perfect i honestly don't think you could break a running machine in two minutes ed i don't think you could uh bucket of water pour it and pour it into the electrics i reckon that works in tv and this show is on tv so maybe yeah that's true don't forget we're blamed by the rules of tv
Starting point is 00:35:01 here jack this is true um well look h, I still think it was a good idea and I'm glad he went for it and he got the five points on this occasion. Four points for Lolly, three points for Mel Snowshovel, two points for Joe and one point for Noel. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.
Starting point is 00:35:25 Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those, too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials.
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Starting point is 00:36:12 Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. And now it's time to hear from our BFF bonus fact finder, Alex Horne. Oh, look and listen to me, because my name is little Alex Horne and I am your new BFF, Bonus Fact Finder. Yes, I'm back. Sorry I've been absent from the podcasts for a little while, but, well, Ed doesn't need me, because he is wonderful. But also, I've been very busy doing tasks for Greg Davis. Yes, loads more tasks because that man needs things doing. Okay, so my bonus fact for this episode is about your friend and mine, Hugh Dennis, the man I wish I was
Starting point is 00:37:18 more friends with because I really like him. and his version of the basketball on the running running running running machine task was an example of a perfect solution and as far as I can remember there's only been a few perfect solutions in Taskmaster history in fact it may be the only one because that ball would have run and run. The other examples I've got are Lisa Tarbuck, who made something spin, a lizard, spin round and round on a drill for as long as electricity, in her case a battery, would allow. So well done, Lisa. In series one, it's a slightly different example,
Starting point is 00:38:02 but I think Tim Keyes getting a teab bag and a mug from that distance in that time using the tennis ball and dog thrower stick was pretty much a perfect solution uh well done timmy and my fourth example of a perfect solution was the classic rigid osman and the hill he ascended the hill empty-handed and brought the yoga mat down rather than struggling up the hill with the three massive exercise balls. It may not have been the quickest time possible, but it was the neatest solution and I think it transformed the rest of Taskmaster history, indicating to people that you can think laterally and change the rules to fit your needs if you're as clever as Osman. That is my bonus fact. I will see you again soon. Goodbye. Task two, paint the best picture of the Taskmaster.
Starting point is 00:39:04 Only the paint and the brush may touch the mat, easel and canvas. You have 10 minutes. Your time starts now. And then only for Joe. Also, you must smile at the camera with increasing enthusiasm every 30 seconds. This is so good. This is so good. This might have been in the top 10 of the lists of my favourite moments in Taskmaster.
Starting point is 00:39:23 Just for Joe. Not just for Joe, but just for joe but but mostly for joe good i mean it's without the joe thing it's still a very good task and i love the taskmaster portrait tasks because it's always funny putting all those pictures up um but the the joe twist the joe twist i mean it's because it's happened before in the show and it will you know it happens later on as well. But I think this is my favourite version of it. It's between this and making Josh count all the rice and the hoops. I would wager, I think just because we've just finished talking about that series,
Starting point is 00:39:59 making Paul Chowdhury have as much fun as possible on a bouncy castle is definitely up there for me. Oh, yeah. There's such sadness in his eyes. It's great. Such sadness. And of course, um,
Starting point is 00:40:11 the task that only Mike Wozniak was given, which was farts. Your time starts now led to one of the best moments ever. I, I mean, I think that that's a, that's in a whole separate category. I would argue.
Starting point is 00:40:23 Not possible to even talk about that task, I would say, in polite society. Oh, but good Lord. Oh, and the one where Mark Watson can only use words that aren't in Taskmaster. Oh, yeah, that's good. And the text. And letters that aren't in Taskmaster.
Starting point is 00:40:38 And the text. Oh, yeah, so they had a lot. I mean, this is still very high up there as a secret one. Yeah, well, it made your number 12 jack of the taskmaster tasks uh top uh ranked just just about didn't make the make the top 10 um but we're gonna have we'll have you on again for some more of your your favorite tasks i'm sure but this um oh yeah i mean this this is wonderful also it's the person you want to have to smile down the camera because he's so funny. He's got a great face.
Starting point is 00:41:09 He's got a great face. Such a good face. Yeah. And also, just because it's Joe as well, and Joe, he's been kissing the Taskmaster portrait every time he sees it, and it sort of felt like he was having quite a good time. The fact that this one, you feel like by the end,
Starting point is 00:41:24 he's really not having a good time it's quite satisfying the smiles get evil and strained they get i mean my theory about the smiles is that one to three he's he's time he's pacing himself really well yeah four he makes a big mistake four he goes too big and then between five and seven he's trying to pull it back yeah trying to pull it back but you if you can't go more enthusiastic you have to go weirder so that's the only way you can make it look different and then he suddenly he suddenly found himself in like a weird tangent he's like well it's weird well and then by like yeah by like 15 gone. He's like, you can see just his eyes are dead. 20 times he smiled. Bless him.
Starting point is 00:42:11 But still, you know. It's an incredible picture. Yeah, it is. It's really good. The fact that he had to do the smiles and was one of the only ones to actually try and paint from a distance. Because, I mean, it's directly comparable to Lolly to also paint it from a distance. And then, of course, found a way around it, it as lolly does and still managed to screw it up because lolly's also an artist i've seen lolly's paintings before and they're really good so it didn't didn't quite pay off for her this time oh that's quite sad because you do sort of feel
Starting point is 00:42:39 because i mean you know noel's an artist uh joe's an artist lolly's an artist you sort of felt like Noel's an artist, Joe's an artist, Lolly's an artist. You sort of felt like, yeah, of the three, Lolly's was the most chaotic and weirdest. Well, it went very wrong for her. It went very wrong. Mel, not an artist, I'd say. No, not really, no. No, I wouldn't say that's in her toolbox necessarily.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Very funny, though. And just, yeah, rolling the mat to the easel so she got the she got the big hack really as did noel yeah but it's so funny i always find it so funny and i did this a lot on our series you find the perfect way around something and then realize there's no point finding it anyway because you don't have the skills to pull the task off well in your series it was the were you the only one to find the dodo yes and then i couldn't remember what what colors were what for a rainbow there we go good that was so sad yeah so sad also some of the the lollies haven't been dyed properly okay so so the purples
Starting point is 00:43:38 were all mixed up i was i was watching that at the time thinking, this is very ambiguous. Some of these are very hard to tell. Yes, I was very proud of myself for finding the dodo. Now, Hugh, let's talk about Hugh. Again, straight back to being... He tries again to find the clever way around and messes it up. So he's straight back into the other persona now i just don't understand how he could do that though i don't under it's it's just it's
Starting point is 00:44:09 the sheer confidence to be like yeah i'll just chucky chuck's a welcome mat down like just just read the task because i'm sure there's a way you could justify okay if you were really going to go down that route you could pour paint onto the mat and then yeah on the paint but then you'd have a whole situation where i know i know greg i know exactly what greg would say you'd end up with a situation where he's asking you if he thinks he's jesus that he can walk on paint because of course you go straight through paint you can't glide over the meniscus of the paint all the way over you're then touching the mat surely oh okay well unless you had lots of paint you need to swim in paint really at that point and then that's a different task i would argue you need to fill the world up with paint
Starting point is 00:44:57 to get the right level of paint so you can swim over it's you've only got 10 minutes jack you've got 10 minutes i was gonna say it's a it's a fool's errand really um but again yeah he's fine he thinks he's found the perfect loophole but i think he's only thought about it saying you can't touch the mat that's what he's read it as yeah but then but then you could i mean so you know you could do a sort of richard osman style because i think they rewrote this one so that they people wouldn't do this yeah you know the richard osman thing if you can't touch the mat ah well i'm not touching the mat this is touching the mat but when it's written down it's nothing but paint can touch the mat paint so paint and brush yeah exactly yeah so he he hadn't thought it through at all it was the bit where there are
Starting point is 00:45:40 times where it feels like hugh dennis is kind of going through like uh he's having sort of revelations. And this was definitely like a Nadir. It was quite sad. Felt very bad for him. Awful. I mean, two episodes in a row with an awful painting,
Starting point is 00:45:53 but not as bad as episode one, which was the fat white bald man. I love the fat white bald man. And again, that was a great hack. Such a good hack to get through. And screwed it. Absolutely. And screwed it. Absolutely screwed it.
Starting point is 00:46:06 Absolutely screwed it up. Amazing. Do you want to judge him? I think I know you're first, but I don't know the rest. Yeah, well, anything that shows me as a sexual gladiator is going to win. There we are. I accused him last place, obviously. Zero, my friend.
Starting point is 00:46:22 Because he didn't understand the rules. Noel first. I think that to be able to paint what Joe painted from a distance is so impressive, I'm going to give him second. Mel, you're just very, very fortunate that I like gibbons. And we'll pop you in at third. Third. And, Lolly, I mean, you're very lucky not to be coming last.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Task three. Team task. Land a flower on the target. You may not leave the bandstand. Most flower lying loose on the target wins. You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now. A good task.
Starting point is 00:47:01 It's one of those ones where they, you know, they let you pick from a range of stuff to help you do something. And still, even though I've done Taskmaster before, I still think they must have left the perfect thing here that you have to do the task with. But everything else is a distraction. Always forgetting that there's no such thing as the perfect thing. They've just gone, how are they going to mess this up this time? Well, but then sometimes there is the perfect thing. They've just gone, how are they going to mess this up this time? Well, but then sometimes there is the perfect thing, like underneath
Starting point is 00:47:28 the table. Underneath the table is all the things to build the... So I think you're actually absolutely right to be looking everywhere. Yeah. You've got to look everywhere. Otherwise, you'll be kicking yourself in the studio. Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't think that was necessarily the perfect thing here.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Oh, no. Absolutely not. Not in this situation. I mean, Mel and Hugh, I don't think that was necessarily the perfect thing here. Oh, no, absolutely not. Not in this situation. I mean, Mel and Hugh, it's the first time we hear about Desky. Yep. Good old Desky. The thing, okay, again, I would say that anyone else calling another contestant Desky, I'd be like, oh, you and your in-jokes. Oh, how dare you. Kate Bridget jokes, yeah. Yeah, it's like, oh, hello, Desky. I want to be friends with Mel oh hello desky i want to be friends with mel yeah i really want to what would she call me yeah maybe she just calls everyone desky that's what we found out well because she has no she doesn't remember anyone's names yeah she
Starting point is 00:48:17 doesn't the problem is she didn't remember hugh's name when he turned up there and she panicked and called him desky and he was just playing along because he's a guy so they they tried a pulley system with darts which is very i mean this task was categorized by people trying quite ambitious things realizing it wasn't going to work and then just throwing flour at the target i i can't like there's cartoon physics logic there from hue i don't understand like he throws darts at the table, like a proper table and there's like, we'll be able to pull it. Because there'll be enough of a pull
Starting point is 00:48:51 on the, he's like a grappling hook. He thinks that suddenly somehow the darts will be transformed into this thing that we'll be able to pull a table. It's nonsense! I'd try it though. I know exactly what he was thinking because he was doing multiple ones and then he was going to try and pull them all together, right? And he thought he was doing multiple ones and then he was going to try and pull it them all together right and he thought he had obviously they're all gonna they're all gonna come off well especially if you if you drop the string straight
Starting point is 00:49:11 away oh yeah that's true in fact there's no way of knowing if it ever could have worked because you dropped the string as far as we know there's like a physics breakthrough waiting to happen that we'll never know about now um i did also love the way that Mel, every single thing that Hugh suggested, she was like, oh, brilliant. Great idea. That's definitely going to work. Yes. Oh, that'll be fantastic. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:37 They do the rolls, the poppadoms, the bowls, and then finally a funnel filled with flour and just chuck everything they can at the target. They get 193 grams not bad it's not bad but look they they got five points mainly because the other team went so insane the joe and noel team um they tried all those things they tried sending the balloons down uh noel turned the toy fox into a drugs mule the flower snowballs i thought was a great idea from that was a good idea that was really well i thought i thought the balloons was a great idea i was like oh this is it you've you know you've got a system now just keep on working it through there the snowballs was a great idea and then i don't know who started it but they're both they're all so
Starting point is 00:50:19 easily led that when someone threw something and then it it just turned into that scene from Scum. It turned into a prison riot. They were all just throwing tables, a gas canister. Everything went over there. And also, you're like, I was shouting at the TV, like, you're dislodging flour that's already on there. What are you doing? They just went mad.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Absolute madness. It's sort of a precursor to the bath task later on in the series. It's kind of like the moment where you feel like this is the setup and later on we'll have the absolute payoff of the bath task. It's nonsense. What's nice about that though is they all went mad and they're all throwing things and they're all having a great time. That's true. If I was on that team, it would not have been a pretty sight, Jack, because I would have been screaming at them going, What are you doing? What are you doing?
Starting point is 00:51:05 You're ruining what we've done. We've done so much good work. Not a laugh. And that would have been entertaining in its own way, surely. Yeah. I wouldn't have enjoyed watching it back, though. 217 grams for them, but of course disqualified because Noel decided to turn off Alex's time.
Starting point is 00:51:32 It is good. I i mean why why why there's no reason for it he got giddy uh he thought he'd tamper with alex's time because he's being a naughty little boy uh and it was spotted um and he tried to get he tried to say he didn't do it so that's you know we all think of dave gorman as the cheat who refuses to admit it but no Noel on this occasion fulfilled that Gorman role. Noel definitely. I mean, yeah, it's weird because I think the most egregious cheating in the show usually happens on team tasks. It's like this one and then Sian Gibson cheats a bit as well. Yes.
Starting point is 00:51:57 And her one. And it always negates someone else's points as well. And I just feel bad for the other people. I just feel so bad for them. The Joe Thomases and the Lollies and the and the joes you know it's it's well i don't think lolly and joe cared to be honest oh no true they were they were fully they were they were in their own weird little uh yeah lord of the flies well they were fine yeah they were fine with it i would have gone absolutely mental i lost my mind at no fielding um we could have had two points there even if we didn't have theing We could have had two points there Even if we didn't have the most
Starting point is 00:52:26 We could have got two points But now you've ruined it By the time I'd finished with him He would have been NME's saddest man I mean that was like a condensed version Of Lord of the Flies It was absolute logic There was
Starting point is 00:52:41 The drug fox mule The wet flower from Joe An absolute genius stroke Absolute logic. There was... The drug fox mule. The wet flower from Joe. An absolute genius stroke. And then all of a sudden, we've got three lunatics just... Well, we were confident, and then we thought, let's throw a trestle table off the bandstand. And I thought the trestle table was madness, but in case you didn't catch it,
Starting point is 00:53:03 what Noel threw off was a full gas can. Task four. Without touching the egg or the egg cup, put the egg into the egg cup. You may only use equipment currently on the table. If you touch a piece of equipment that another contestant touches, you will both receive a one-minute time penalty
Starting point is 00:53:19 per piece of equipment touched. Fastest wins. Your time starts now. Great, great task. Great task. it asks you to think about something but then also gives you no time to think about something oh absolutely and i would also argue that that the right thing to do is to not think about it you just have to go with this one the all the stuff about all the stuff about you know will you have more things i think that's all a distraction yeah just just speed you just gotta because otherwise what are you doing yeah because if even if you
Starting point is 00:53:50 you use one thing the maximum you're going to get is a one minute penalty right um so you've just got you've got to do as little time as possible i mean lolly gets the five points genius picking up the blue tack sticking it to the egg popping it straight and she does it like without thinking about it and it's ideal it is it it's one of those things where it feels like she just was like born to do that like it's just such a natural moment of like done and then the sort of serene like happiness she has it's so serene it's lovely of course she doesn't do it that quickly though because she's lucky that i guess only one other person touched the blue tack because noel and joe both do it very quickly
Starting point is 00:54:28 with the bread glove oh that's three three minute penalty because hugh also uses the bread and then of course mel touches the bread because because she touches everything everything it would be my instinct as well it would be my instinct when i'm told not to touch something to just touch everything straight away and go from there but i wouldn't do it well what would you you would you're you're ruining yourself to ruin other people at that point aren't you yeah but she's not doing it for that reason no she's just doing it because she wants to pick up a horse and go why is there a horse here you're like you could have just pointed at that mel you didn't need to touch it specifically there is one thing you shouldn't do in this task and it's touch
Starting point is 00:55:10 that yeah yeah i suppose she did so long on bake off not being able to just stick her fingers in everything that when she's presented with a table of stuff she loves to touch it that was her as well oh yeah she did she She said she really enjoyed that. I like touching all the items. She really enjoyed that. Made me laugh so much. She finished it and go, I really enjoyed that. And then the studio said that she liked touching everything.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Great. I don't... I think maybe there was something in her contract that said she should be allowed to touch anything that is on a table. Maybe that was it. Such an odd decision. Well, it cost her dearly because of course uh she may have done it in less than a minute um but it was a five minute penalty so she only she only got one point lolly got the five points uh three points for joe
Starting point is 00:56:00 four points for no two points for hugh i mean, did Hugh not read the bit where it said fastest wins? I don't know what he thought he was supposed to be doing. Because he seems to use two items that are very irrelevant. Like, well, what? He uses the bread, but then he also uses the chopsticks
Starting point is 00:56:19 to make the bread softer. Famously soft bread. I think he must have been thrown by how simple the task was so i think he decided it had to be more complicated than that so he was trying he was softening the bread he was i mean he got a four minute penalty he was he was using a lot of stuff and it just took so long to get the the egg onto the bread with the chopsticks and then sort of like slowly put it in the car it was maddening to watch it was very gentle it was very it was very tender did he think it was gonna hatch yeah yeah oh god the rarest egg of them all whereas lollies felt like like a sort of a form of i could i feel like i could put that on and just fall
Starting point is 00:57:03 asleep to it because it's so calming that one was very much like oh god cling on to a desk i feel like that would be what it would be like to watch hugh cook a meal as well i don't know if he's a good cook or not but i'd imagine it's like quite precarious a lot of the time i i feel like there's a confident well i don't know i think you're right. All I can imagine now is you cooking a meal by poking bits of bread with a chopstick. And you're like, it'll be done soon. And you're thinking, what are you making? You think this is toast?
Starting point is 00:57:40 Oh, you see, that's good. That acts as a sort of bread glove. Exactly 57 seconds now. But then I've got a one, two, three, four, five, six-minute penalty, haven't I? Only if everyone else has touched. Oh, I'm an idiot. I really enjoyed that, though. So let's talk about the live task.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Looking at the taskmaster all times and with your arms always beneath your hairdressing smock. Attach as many balloons together as possible. You have 100 seconds. Longest balloon chain wins. A great studio task. A really great studio task. I think it's difficult. I mean, it's nice watching the old studio task where you have the audience there, and I think that's one of those ones where you feel like it's really helped by the fact that they're all just staring at Greg for a hundred...
Starting point is 00:58:34 Well, they're fiddling under their smock, yeah. It's very weird, but you feel like there's a nervous energy in the audience where they're like, what the hell is going to happen at the end of this? Good lord, what am I going to see here? where they're like, what the hell is going to happen at the end of this? Good Lord, what am I going to see here? Now, were there any tasks or moments that were in your lists or that particularly stick out for you as a studio task? Because obviously the most memorable and amazing tasks, I think, are probably the ones that are filmed at the house or on location. Yeah, I think the only one that I really remember
Starting point is 00:59:04 was probably the one with you and david baddiel that was probably my favorite moment yeah the sheer see i okay that is my big thing with all the taskmaster all i want is genuine rage all i want to watch when watching the show is genuine rage and i could i could feel it there i could feel that anger there yeah watching you do that when i was when that was happening and i could i could feel it there i could feel that anger there yeah watching when i was when that was happening and i was getting really angry and genuinely getting angry because i'd sort of i'd not sworn to myself not to do that but it happened so much in the end there was no point me trying to prevent it but i saw greg did a laugh that he only does when he makes
Starting point is 00:59:42 me really angry like he started giggling and kicking his legs around i was like oh no it's happening it can't be stopped yeah oh god it's just i mean you i mean it's just the the look that you give to the picture and then oh god it's just one of the greatest bits in taskmaster i would say oh uh would say. But this one is a classic studio task in that the reveal of the thing is very funny, whatever it is, because when it comes out and it's really long, it is hilarious. And then when it comes out and everyone's like,
Starting point is 01:00:15 whoa, oh. Very disappointing. It's sort of one of those bits where if you... Because I think I used to watch Taskmaster... I didn't used to watch Taskmaster ages ago, and I would catch the end of a show watching something else. And I would just watch... I think I probably watched this episode,
Starting point is 01:00:32 where I just saw five comedians I really like with Alex Horne pulling a balloon out from under the smoke. And the audience going, I was like, what the hell have I walked into? Good Lord! But it is very satisfying. It's very satisfying when they're super long, obviously. Yeah, well, Mel's was incredible.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Seven balloons for Mel's. Five points for Mel. Hugh, six balloons. Didn't screw that up. Lolly and Noel. I mean, Lolly's made me laugh so much because they just pulled two big balloon chains out and then, as Greg says, a big balloon squared.
Starting point is 01:01:04 And the way Alex pulls that out and goes, oh, what is it? Oh, and then he says, I don't understand. Like he's a robot that just has to compute with, he's expecting a sausage and he's got a squid. Oh, it's so funny. And Joe only manages three balloons, sadly, for the two points.
Starting point is 01:01:27 This is, I mean, I know we're only two episodes in but this is one of the series where you don't really know who's going to win for quite a long time everyone's pretty strong competitor in their own way because joe's bottom at the moment um and then hugh's above him so hugh's actually managing to get points in despite screwing quite a lot up like i say i think i think he has he's you know he has his moments and he will continue to have his moments he's always going to screw up the um the prize task he's always going to screw that up we know that but he makes up for it later on so it's fine yeah that's the kid david baddiel on series nine did the opposite where he would he was actually the best at the prize task by some considerable distance. And then the tragic thing was by episode two,
Starting point is 01:02:07 we knew that that was never going to last. We'd be like, well done on another good prize task and let's prepare to watch you get no more points for the rest of the episode. That sounds like a very frustrating thing where you're entirely, there's nothing you can control at that point. Because you can change the prize tasks, right?
Starting point is 01:02:22 For each episode, you can change, you could be like, oh, I see what the vibe is. So I could still... But if you know that you're terrible, and yet you have this gift of price tasks, you're like, well, it's useless, isn't it? I mean, we will speak to David. People keep asking,
Starting point is 01:02:40 are you going to have David on the show? There is no point in having David on until we talk about series nine, because there is absolutely no way he has watched any other Taskmaster episodes it would be fundamentally weird if he had yeah and then he came on Taskmaster and did that I would say yeah they're very close in the in in the series so far uh Mel and Noel are joint uh joint leaders 36 points Lolly on 31 and Joe hugh on 30 so it's still all to play for at this stage jack thank you so much for coming on the taskmaster podcast thank you so much for having me we love having you on um you are of course uh welcome back um because you're
Starting point is 01:03:20 the man with the knowledge you're our our stats man. I've decided. That's who you are. Oh, thank you. I'll be a stats man. Love it. Have you enjoyed the Taskmaster podcast? I would now like you to rate your time on the Taskmaster podcast
Starting point is 01:03:33 between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster, please. It's a five. I know that's probably what everyone says, isn't it? No one ever comes along and says one, do they? Paul Chowdhury. Paul Chowdhury gave it one. he gave the first one one i think might him he's been on since and i think he might have given it before then but the first time he came on he
Starting point is 01:03:52 gave it one point yeah oh wow was that just well he was trolling me like he's trolling everyone in the world oh sure okay you didn't you didn't use any sleep over that you weren't no god no no no i was happy i laughed it's chowder okay good but five points we're just locking that in yes thank you very much jack um and we'll look out for more are there any more uh taskmaster uh articles or big lists on the horizon i know as uh as a stat man anyway you're quite tied up with euro 2020 at the moment uh for instance uh designing uh a picture where all the goals have been scored from in the tournament so far. I'm a pretty cool guy, Ed. Well, you're welcome to come on
Starting point is 01:04:34 and be a cool guy on the Taskmaster podcast anytime. Thank you very much. Thank you. There we are. What a great chat. Jack's amazing. I told you he was. He knows exactly what he's talking about.
Starting point is 01:04:46 Any moment I mentioned, he can dip back and he can pull out another one as well. We'll have Jack back on. A true Taskmaster expert. It was lovely to chat to him. Next week, we'll be, of course, chatting Taskmaster Series 4, Episode 3. And we will be talking about that with Hugh Dennis.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Yes, Hugh Dennis, actual Hugh Dennis, who was in the show, of course. And, you know, I've spent the last two weeks absolutely slagging Hugh Dennis off to shit, so it'll be lovely to actually chat to him and do it to his face. I love Hugh. I've done Mock the Week a lot with Hugh,
Starting point is 01:05:20 so hopefully we'll be on friendly terms and he won't have heard the last two episodes of the Taskmaster podcast. Can't wait to chat to him any emails for Hugh um regarding Taskmaster not just hey Hugh how are you uh taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com that is a place for all of your questions for any of our guests and any general questions that we will try and answer on the show but for now thank you very much. Keep watching Taskmaster. Goodbye. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream?
Starting point is 01:06:09 Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details.

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