Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 50. Victoria Coren Mitchell - S12 Ep.4

Episode Date: October 14, 2021

This week Ed is joined by another Series 12 contestant, the brilliant Victoria Coren Mitchell. Victoria shares her highs and lows from the series so far – including some very memorable moments from ...this week’s episode. Watch Series 12 of Taskmaster every Thursday on Channel 4 at 9pm. Download the Taskmaster App at Taskmaster.tv Watch all of the Taskmaster on All 4https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Order Bring me the head of the Taskmaster https://taskmasterstore.com/products/bring-me-the-head-of-the-taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:taskmasterpodcast@gmail.com  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  Taskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. You know what this is by now. We are about to chat about an episode of Taskmaster and break it down task by task with a special guest.
Starting point is 00:00:59 I'm your host, Ed Gamble, and we are, of course, currently in the midst of Series 12. Every week there is a new episode of Taskmaster on Channel 4 at 9pm. If you miss it live, you can, of course, catch up on all four. That's there for you to watch every episode of taskmaster catch up watch the episode before you listen to this podcast because there will be spoilers for episode 4 series 12 and our special guest this week is victoria corrin mitchell yes a current contestant on series 12 of taskmaster will be asking her what it was like to be on taskmaster whether she'd heard of Taskmaster before, whether she'd watched Taskmaster, did she enjoy her experience, all those questions and more,
Starting point is 00:01:32 as well as specific chat about this episode. It's coming up right now. Don't forget to keep watching Taskmaster. Check out all the Taskmaster goodies on taskmasterstore.com. Get the app. Look at the YouTube channel. Do all of those things. But mostly, the main thing you have to do is enjoy this episode with victoria corinne mitchell if you have any questions for future
Starting point is 00:01:50 guests email us at taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com but for now just relax enjoy and listen to the wonderful victoria corinne mitchell welcome victoria to the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for coming on. It's an absolute pleasure to have you. Current contestant on Series 12. And excited to be a contestant on Series 12? I mean, you know, we filmed the tasks during the lockdown period, so I was excited to be out of the house.
Starting point is 00:02:24 I mean, it didn't last, So I was excited to be out of the house. Yeah. I mean, it didn't last, but I was happy to begin with. The studio shows have all been great so far. And there is that feeling from you when the first episode started and they showed the first task, you sort of go, oh God, here we go. You have the look of someone who knows what you did in the tasks and they're all about to be trotted out in front of you. And you look really worried. I'm not brilliant at watching myself do anything though really fortunately the way we were sitting in the studio in this very isolated way I can't
Starting point is 00:02:55 really see the screen because it's sort of huge yeah I mean on the one hand it's it's my enormous self like Godzilla in a sort of 50s drive-in um but I couldn't quite see thankfully yeah I think it was going on did you would you say you enjoyed your experience overall on Taskmaster oh yes very much so I hugely enjoyed being in the house doing the tasks with Alex that was great it's just very much the sort of thing I enjoy and it's brilliant the studio was a bit odd and it was a bit odd because the audience wasn't there so they played it for an audience later and you hear that response but we didn't get that and it's quite an odd thing because the atmosphere is quite roasty which is not really my thing I'm an adoring fan of Greg Davis, you know, off screen as a friend and as a fan.
Starting point is 00:03:49 And I this is no I love what they do. But that kind of you know, I'm not a comedian. The other people are all comedians. That kind of roasty telling everyone what's wrong with them is not my natural register. Sure. And normally you'd have an audience there to kind of take the curse off it. If you imagine when you watch the actual experience with Greg telling me I was shit to total silence, actually, you don't really, it's hard to get your bearings. Especially if the thing that I brought in as a, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:20 to win a prize was some bit of wordplay, it often is i've come up with some sort of pun to bring in and i say here's the pun and there's silence that's a terrible pun and there's silence and then he goes and that'll be no points for victoria and there's silence and that was quite an odd yeah watching it back on television and then you can hear the audience watching laughing and it's sort of fine. Yeah. But in the recording, it was a bit harrowing. Yeah, it really does sound harrowing.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I mean, you more than held your own, though. I mean, you say you're not a comedian, but everyone else was and you're not used to that roasty atmosphere. I actually think in the history of Taskmaster, no one's held their own better against Greg's points because you destroyed him with logic, whereas all comedians have got is just sort of shouting back at him. That's very nice of you to say. I'm not sure that I destroyed him with logic.
Starting point is 00:05:14 He looked terrified. I could see it in his eyes. My little fists of logic beating against his big manly chest. I think I generally slumped to the ground in a pool of my own logic. Had you watched the show before before you did it oh yes I'd watched the show and most specifically I'd watched David Baddiel in the show yeah uh who's a great friend of mine and obviously was hilarious and the thing with David Baddiel is you know people think he's very smart. And so it was funny when he was then bamboozled by the tasks. And I watched that mainly to ensure that that didn't happen to me. And as you can see, that was very, very successful research. Yes, absolutely. You completely nailed it, I think.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Yeah, I mean, obviously, David's the perfect example of that. And I was on the series with David and it was wonderful from minute one to see that he was going to come unstuck straight away. It's always wonderful. And it's got that thing, which I hope we'll also see in Outsiders, which is the new thing on Dave that you're in
Starting point is 00:06:22 and that you're brilliant in that, I must say. But those shows have got this sort of rather magical thing where if you put comedians straight onto reality TV, like a sort of I'm a celebrity or strictly can be quite hard to do jokes. It looks a bit weird because most of the time, if the dynamic you're in, you're with an enormous, highly skilled Russian ballroom dancer talking to a sort of ex-Latin champion about the rumba.
Starting point is 00:06:50 If you suddenly do a joke, you can seem like a bit of a twat. Yes. But on a panel show like a QI or Have I Got News For You, it's a very controlled environment. It's a very controlled environment. So what Taskmaster has is that sort of hinterland where there's lots of comedians there kind of bumping off each other like dodgems and being funny and it's a funny environment, but you can't stop personality leaking out.
Starting point is 00:07:18 There's nowhere to hide in a way. Quite, yeah. I think the nowhere to hide is definitely the top line of Taskmaster, really. Much to my detriment, I should say, on this particular series. But as a viewer, I'm a fan. No, I think you're being unfair to yourself in that I think everyone has highs and lows in Taskmaster.
Starting point is 00:07:35 And even within this episode that we're going to talk about, you have your lowest low and your highest high, I think, which is great. The prize task, Victoria, you've already sort of hinted towards the prize tasks. Did you enjoy doing the prize tasks? No, I hated that. I've never enjoyed anything where you do a bit. Well, this is where I feel very hard done by. So I've always been uncomfortable on Cats Does Countdown, which is a show I gleefully take part in only because I want to do the anagrams and the maths. Everything else is a minus. So the
Starting point is 00:08:20 bit at the beginning where they go, what have you brought to entertain us all with what amusing prop have you crafted about which you're now gonna do a type five and i have nightmares about that it's awful but you get it done to do the anagrams and you'd love you'd love countdown you should go on countdown yeah it's an actual countdown i know that'd be much better i wouldn't be good enough but it was a bit like that but this is where i feel hard done by. I go, all right, OK, fine. I'm going to think, I've got to write. This is what would be funny. It's a square.
Starting point is 00:08:48 And this is a sort of a square. I'm going to bring this on. And then Greg would be really cross because basically they don't want you to bring on something funny. They want you to generally try as hard as you can to bring on the best thing. And I'm not sure my brain could get to, know what's the best thing to sit on and so I was very mean when I'd be very pleased with a particular bit of wordplay and I'd deliver it to Greg's stony authoritative face and let me remind you total silence in the room and you I would feel a bit like that bit at school where you know you'd pass a note
Starting point is 00:09:25 to make someone i don't know if you did this but i always did that like pass notes you make people laugh in the room and then they make you go up to the front and say the funny thing you said and you stand up and you sort of deliver yeah some very much the great dynamic actually because you've got some scared children and the teacher no one's really ready to and you have to say the thing and as you say it you go no that's not it's not funny is it i did i thought it was not that that was very much the prize tasks for me well look i in in terms of the prize tasks we've seen already i really liked the diamonds that you sit on this one i was less of a fan of victoria i'll be honest. So the prize task was the best thing that has quite a few layers. And now you've described the atmosphere in the studio
Starting point is 00:10:10 when you try and do a pun as absolute silence. The edit makes so much more sense where you're going, well, I just brought in a joke. You know, I just thought I'll do it. But he'll like a bit of humour. The idea that in your head, Greg was going to lose it laughing. He didn't want humour. The thing is, but you see see but you have to look at
Starting point is 00:10:26 it for me this is a this was my achievement i don't expect to be good at the physical things i'm not a fast runner i'm can't throw things a long way i'm quite short-sighted but i'm too squeamish for contact lenses and too vain for glasses i don't do it but when someone says bring something with a lot of layers, and everyone else is bringing a lasagna or a multicoloured layer cake, and I go, I tell you what's got a lot of layers. A chicken farmer. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Layers. You see their layers. That is about as close as I ever come to achievement. I take myself for a long lunch. When I've thought of that, I go, this is great. I send it in, and it's going to be great. And then they put the picture of the let's all have let's all have a look and what Victoria thought was funny and everyone swivels up to look at the picture of
Starting point is 00:11:13 this little plastic chicken farmer silence um it goes to the heart of one's self-esteem because I know when we're about to watch a bunch of things where i whatever can't catch alex or hide badly behind a tree or you know something falls in the water that is it meant to so but this is the high point yeah is this bit of wordplay and they're looking at me in sort of horror why is that funny why? Why is that good? But also, I do think there should be a situation where you get at least one extra point for not doing what everyone else did. Because everyone else did do the sort of more obvious route, I guess. They literally just picked something with physical layers.
Starting point is 00:11:58 I did once for Comic Relief, the Great British Bake Off. I did that show. And I went on with one of those sort of surreal, it's like me, Ed Balls, Chris Kamara, the sports guy, and Kimberly from Girls Aloud, right? It's not a natural four, but we were there baking. And one of the things we had to make was muffins, muffins. And they said, I didn't really know whether they meant, you know, English muffins, American muffins, they're muffins, you know whether they meant you know english muffins
Starting point is 00:12:26 american muffins you know the breakfast food and i thought well do you know what i like what i like for breakfast is a bloody mary so i made bloody mary muffins yeah vodka and you know some food coloring and tomatoes and they were absolutely you know they were lovely and the the face of mary berry as she bit into this thing why have you done that why have you done that muffins should be banana or chocolate why why would you put and you know you're standing in a giant kitchen with millions of people watching having to go I thought it would be a bit funny and everyone else had done chocolate muffins and she walked around saying they were all delicious and i think she said i saw in the later broadcast she said i think victoria's let herself down that was awful because i desperately wanted mary barry's approval yeah and it is the tricky
Starting point is 00:13:18 thing isn't it it's the it's the crossover between uh entertainment and doing well on these competition shows. Because I always get told by my wife when I did something on Taskmaster or recently done Champion of Champions, if at any point I've been like, I don't think I did that very well. I don't think that went very well. She always says, yeah, but then that will be funny. And your job is comedian. You're not someone who goes around trying to win competition shows.
Starting point is 00:13:42 You should be funny. No, my instinct is I want to do well at it. No, but people tease you for wanting to do your best on the thing. They're all, wait, it was so obvious that you wanted to do well. But you did win, whereas I'm really trying to do well and do very, very badly. So why don't you imagine that you've got all the same opportunity to watch yourself trying to be the best at something and also failing that's where
Starting point is 00:14:07 i am here it is okay toy poultry farmer with lots of chicken layers very punny it's it's a joke it's a pun and i i love jokes and the joke is layers yeah chickens lay eggs. Exactly. They lay eggs. You were waiting for that set up. Yeah. And that's just got more points. I assumed you liked humour. Let's be absolutely clear, it is a shit joke. OK, we're having a lot of layers here because they lay eggs. Da-da, it's a joke.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Thank you, I've decided. OK. Well, yes, you brought in the poultry farmer um but it didn't do the worst morgana still did worse with her vegetable lasagna i'm surprised greg didn't go for it greg normally goes for food based stuff if he's hungry when when the prize comes up it normally does quite well i think it was the picture didn't look appetizing it was a disgusting looking vegetable lasagna um i'm not sure whether morgana brought that in or they googled a picture of vegetable lasagna or made one themselves but yeah it didn't it didn't do the prize uh much favors um i'm joking though i genuinely i'm not i really did think that the chicken farm was a good thing i I thought that was good. It has a lot of layers.
Starting point is 00:15:28 You know, I genuinely, I still, I resented. I think that was good. The thing is with Greg is he's not very wry, is he? If it's like a sort of like clever pun or something like that, he's not one to get on board with that. He's pretty straightforward when it comes to his jokes. Yeah. At that point, did you, I mean, obviously we can't talk about prize tasks in the
Starting point is 00:15:46 future but when that didn't go down well were you panicking about things that you had lined up to bring on future episodes in such a state of general trauma i'm not sure i panicked about anything specific because it wasn't about wanting to win because I it didn't people assume that I'm going to be very competitive because I play poker and I I played certainly before I played poker a kind of high stakes competition level but that's not it's it's I only want to win at poker I'm I don't actually want to win competitions but I do want the approval of the people around me. So, and the problem with, I realise now with bringing in, I don't mean it wasn't meant to be an undermining joke.
Starting point is 00:16:32 I mean, it wasn't meant to be sort of satire, but bringing in wordplay, the problem with it is, is that if it does badly, is that you feel it's a judgment on your comic instincts, which is quite big. I mean, you don't really want to, I mean, I say this, you don't really want to win things, especially not on British TV.
Starting point is 00:16:51 People just think, oh, what a dick. I mean, not about you, but of course not. No, I think, but you are right. You are right. Especially if you like do it in such a bare faced way that you're like, I really want to win this. And then you actually succeed. That's the last thing people want to see on British TV I think yes but but this would be my advice to future
Starting point is 00:17:08 contestants don't bring on something that you think is funny because it doesn't matter if you get no points but if you get no points and because it feels like the thing you think is funny nobody else does yeah it is like you're four and standing in the corner I would go for the serious you know yeah I tell you what's got a lot of airs, the earth's core and bringing that. Much better. Well, that's, I mean, that's pretty straightforward, the last three
Starting point is 00:17:34 that got to the top of the table. Gus brought in a load of his jackets, all his jackets and put them on Alex. I'm struggling to see what the prize was here. What was he offering people to take away? Was it all his jackets or was it Alex wearing all of his jackets?
Starting point is 00:17:51 Oh, that's interesting. Yes, technically Alex should have been the prize, shouldn't he? That didn't occur to me at the time. I assumed it was the jackets, but you're right. Alex should have been part of the prize. I mean, look, let's be honest.
Starting point is 00:18:07 It was another last minute panic prize from Guz. He's already brought in a chair from his dressing room. It's like a wise spy, isn't it? And you look around and it's just, is it the curtains again? Yeah, it is. And all his jackets would have been there anyway in the studio, ready for him to wear on the various episodes. So he has just yet again brought something from the studio just beforehand that's a very likable quality though it is i mean he's
Starting point is 00:18:30 just like a he's like a little boy he goes isn't he um and he screwed up by complimenting alex was the was the issue which suggested greg might have given him more points and he already got three which i think was too much for bringing all his jackets in Desiree brought in a layered vanilla cake and there's no way this should have got more than the lasagna but she played the emotion card wasn't it like her grandma's cake or something I think her mother her mother made it and something about mothers being saints and stuff I think she she really lent into that but she she lent in and it was very touching and And, you know, Greg really loves his mother. And I, I just, I think she's, she's really, she's done a bit of a strictly here. And we've had the violins and there's been the video and there's a big thing in the family. I, that was below the belt in my view. The best thing about the whole experience was meeting Desiree. I think she's amazing.
Starting point is 00:19:25 I'm sort of besotted with her. I think about her when she's not there. She's sort of, she's everything a woman should be. She's kind of sort of powerful and beautiful and yet also very silly. I mean, she's just, she's this sort of incredible person. Yeah. However, don't play the family. A plastic chicken farmer is definitely better. If I'd gone, and do you know what, as well,
Starting point is 00:19:49 my late father was a chicken farmer. It's not what he was known for, but he was. And when I look at it, that's what I think of my childhood. Yeah, but then you can't end that by going, and la-da-layers, da-da-da-da-da-oy. No. Never end a heartwarming and emotional story with a pun. It won't.
Starting point is 00:20:09 It will ruin the rest of it. But you know what? I don't like the taste of vanilla. So for me, more layers of vanilla cake has, the worse it's going to get. That's true. Yeah. Did you say that on the night? No.
Starting point is 00:20:21 I didn't want to tear down other people's hopes and dreams. Interesting. you say that on the on the night no i didn't want to you know tear down other people's hopes and dreams interesting i felt the thing was to you know fight the corner of my own evidently weak submissions but not necessarily try to try to knock other people you know good luck to them i say um alan brought in a wig from the 90s which was used as a double for his hair i'm assuming it was from jonathan creek i assume it was from jonathans, which was used as a double for his hair. I'm assuming it was from Jonathan Creek. I assume it was from Jonathan Creek, but it looked exactly like Alan's hair in the 90s. Yeah, it really did.
Starting point is 00:20:51 I mean, I'm on board with anything to do with Jonathan Creek. I absolutely love that show. It's a brilliant show. I'm not entirely sure that it's... The only thing about layers, I don't think Alan has a layered haircut. I think he's got really curly hair.
Starting point is 00:21:04 Yes. So if you were going to get a forensic...'t think Alan has a layered haircut. He's got really curly hair. Yes. So if you were going to get a forensic, if Vidal Sassoon had been there, he might have said, have you had your hair cut into layers, Alan, or does it just grow like that? I feel like there are some pity points flying around for Alan and have been in the last couple of episodes where Greg sort of feels a bit sorry for Alan. The fact that he went and got a wig out of the attic is quite a bleak proposition.
Starting point is 00:21:28 So bunged him the five points just so he could feel better about what he had to do. But it was still, you know, I think you're right. I think it's not proper, not a properly layered thing, but it's lovely to see a prop from Jonathan Creek.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Yes. I mean, it's weird. The thing with Alan, especially when I'm being reminded about Jonathan Creek. Yes. I mean, it's weird. The thing with Alan, especially when I'm being reminded about Jonathan Creek, it was an awkward thing for me being paired with Alan in the team tasks. Yeah. I can see why they would do that.
Starting point is 00:21:56 And in one way it was great because he's a friend of mine and genuinely it was lovely to see him. I know this is ridiculous. He only lives up the road, but we hadn't seen each other because normally our kids play together, but it was all because of COVID. Nobody's done anything. And so it was lovely to see him. I know it's ridiculous. He only lives up the road, but we hadn't seen each other because normally kids play together or whatever, but it was all because of COVID. Nobody's done anything. And so it was lovely to see him.
Starting point is 00:22:10 But there's another thing going on, which is I'm a massive fan of his. In the 90s, what I was doing was spending money on tickets to go and see Alan Davis, doing jokes that I could quote to you today. I think he's amazing. So there was a sense I've rarely felt as awkward as being shown a kind of one-dimensional mountain drawing
Starting point is 00:22:33 and being given a small bag of implements and told, go on, go and do a comedy skit with Alan Davis. As happy as I was to be with him, the idea that I was supposed to collaborate with him on some kind of knockabout physical comedy, it seemed so presumptuous. And things that were, I mean, I'm a fan of his now, but thinking about, you know, he is so far my kind of performance senior. my kind of performance senior those reminders just it just was the next time I had to whatever it was going to be okay so it's going to be you Alan and a goat and a camcorder I'm making it sound like porn I realize that I've gone too far into the sentence and I can't back out but emerge with the funniest thing and I imagine Alan thinking oh how dare you I'm sure
Starting point is 00:23:27 he didn't think that and also let's not forget that in this episode and we will talk about that later the roles are immediately reversed, that is Alan being your inferior trying to solve a riddle which is absolutely hilarious the Jonathan Creek wig
Starting point is 00:23:42 Jonathan Creek was good at solving riddles. Alan Davis, not so much. So we'll see that later. Ready? Okay, I'm going to give one point to Morgana's lasagna because it was rubbish. I'm one? I'm going to give twice as many points to Victoria's joke,
Starting point is 00:24:01 and I want you to reflect on that. I'm giving three points to Gus because you spoke positively about Alex, and I want you to reflect on that. I'm giving three points to Gus, because you spoke positively about Alex and I don't like him. LAUGHTER I'm giving four points to you, because the banana-layered cake looked delicious, and I feel sorry for what you did to your mum. And finally, just to annoy everybody,
Starting point is 00:24:21 I'm giving a man who found an old wig in his attic... LAUGHTER.. five points. That's Taskmaster. And if you don't like it, top shit. Tweet as much as you like. Let's talk about
Starting point is 00:24:38 task one though, because this was a wonderful moment for you as well, I think. Complete the course as slowly as possible. You must always be riding the bike forwards within the limits of the course. Every time you put your foot on the ground, the clock will be paused and your final time will be halved.
Starting point is 00:24:51 If you leave the course or miss an instruction, your time will also be halved and the clock will be paused until you're back in position. Slowest wins. Your time starts when Alex fires his starter pistol five minutes from now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:04 That's not really what the task was for me the task for you i've got that written down here learn how to ride a bike in five minutes yeah yeah which i almost sort of managed it was it was wonderful i mean you talk about uh personalities being revealed in taskmaster. There's nowhere to hide. There's also little things you find out about people that you didn't know. For example, you've never ridden a bike. No. What was that feeling like when you saw that bike,
Starting point is 00:25:35 when you were approaching the task area and you saw the bike? Did all the blood drain from your face? Yeah, it was pretty terrible. terrible i mean a lot of things were going on there i was obviously a bit frightened to get on the bike yeah and thinking all right they're not going to make us go in the road right this is going to be the worst i'm just going to fall off and get some kind of scratches and maybe a head injury it's not going to be that you have to ride it in the traffic they won't do that um but also you know this sort of the lost ship of my public dignity sailing over the horizon the sort of memory i mean we were a while in by then and to sort of think okay i've made the
Starting point is 00:26:19 decision i've said i'll do taskmaster i've said it. I'm here. Yeah. Most people don't know who I am, but if they do, what they think is, jeez, that person who sits authoritatively behind the desk, she knows all the stuff. Yes, the link is 12th century Venice. Let's go to the next question. She really, she knows what's going on. Nobody ever sort of comes up to speak to me in the street.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Like if we're walking, they'll come and talk to my husband, ridiculously, my husband, who's very shy. Yeah yeah but he's very affable on the television so people will come up and talk to him and he'll just not know what to do and he'll try and say a nice hello and then he'll worry that he didn't say it in a nice way and then the rest of the day will be does that nice did i seem mean was it that never speak to me because they think i'm so together yeah so authoritative quite intimidating stern all of that you know as I looked at this bicycle I thought I I know what's I know what's going to happen
Starting point is 00:27:13 it is going to be footage of me just riding along falling off and screaming but I can't I mean or I just leave it's too late to do anything about it isn't it you can't you can't do anything about unless you I guess the only option there would have been to find some incredible loophole that meant that you didn't have to ride the bottle I do but I think I mean you saw how long the title of the task was there's no there's no way I don't know you can't and you'd have to do it immediately it's it's a bit like um you know if you stumble over in the street a lot of people are looking you have to immediately pretend that you've got a limp and that's how you walk like right away it's no good walking along normally for a bit you have to you have to be right there with no actually i walk like that
Starting point is 00:27:59 so shame on you if you if you laugh and even in the moment if you don't see an immediate loophole you've got to just get on the get on the bike just got to do it and hope that people think you know well there's stuff I can't do so good luck so you were you confident I mean obviously not confident but there was a moment before you started riding the bike where you said I've seen it done so was there a moment where you thought well I've seen it done so I've probably learned how to ride a bike just by watching people ride bikes well people say it's like riding a bike don't they in meaning you don't forget how to do it but I was thinking well it it can't be that difficult it because it's a shorthand for this is something everyone can do.
Starting point is 00:28:49 I mean, you're in at the deep end with riding a bike, I'll tell you that, because it is very difficult to ride a bike slowly and stay upright. Just to stay upright at all is very confusing. I mean, for other people, people that think it's normal to ride a bike might imagine what it would have been like for them if it was a horse. Yes. And you go, oh, so you've got to get on it and then make it walk, but not too fast. It's very confusing.
Starting point is 00:29:10 If you haven't ridden a bike before, it's hard conceptually to think about why it would stay up. It's a thin thing. Yeah. And obviously slowly is even worse. But that's the first thing is you think, well, people can do this. But also they take a while to learn it. That's the first thing is you think, well, people can do this. But also they take a while to learn it.
Starting point is 00:29:27 That's the thing. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It's really tricky. So it was that moment for me as well that you discovered that there were other things to do other than ride the bike. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Where the bike was such an insurmountable thing that when you found out there were other things in the task, you said, well, I've got to do other stuff as well. As well. But that was never going to be possible. Never, ever. Taking your hand off the, what do you call them? The flat steering wheel thing.
Starting point is 00:29:54 The handlebars. Handlebars. Taking your hand off the handlebars to throw a ball in a bucket or something. I know the word handlebars. I just didn't get it at that moment. Yeah, no, I was never going to, never going to simultaneously do something else.
Starting point is 00:30:09 When you started riding the bike, when you were actually on it and it was happening and you were moving, the look of joy on your face was incredible. Yes, because actually it was quite easy. That's the thing. It was. The problems are the steering and the stopping. I still don't
Starting point is 00:30:27 understand how people do hills. Like if you're going down a hill, presumably you can't stop. If you stopped, you would just somersault forwards, wouldn't you? You've got to lightly brake. You've got to sort of like increase the pressure on the brakes as you get a bit faster, just to make sure you don't start going too fast. Braking, it doesn't interest me. When I was cycling along there, I thought this is kind of great, but I would only stop by putting my feet on the ground. Braking seems like massively asking for trouble because it's just, you're going to fly forwards and you're going to, that's no good. But if cycling, if they banned cars completely, which I'm sure they will, it's just whether it happens in my lifetime. And the only other things on the roads are just cyclists all going in the same direction, I would probably do it.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Yeah, like a Tour de France sort of scenario. Yeah, is that what happens? Well, they're all a big group of them. They all go in a big race, yeah. Yeah, but it's that kind of thing the stopping the turning that's what's the problem with cycling in my view have you cycled since because you seem to I thought at the end there I thought you got bitten by the cycling bug after you did it and you decided to cycle back to the beginning I haven't cycled since but I haven't got a bicycle to actually acquire a bicycle in
Starting point is 00:31:40 order to do that I mean I know people with bicycles but they're very they're tall or I've got a bicycle for my daughter neighbor had one they weren't using and she's got one but with stabilizers yes and so we go on that I can't I mean it's like a foot high I would look ridiculous but if I could get one no one's suggesting that you use your daughter's bicycle no that's the only bike that I have access to I I don't I think it's probably not for me I think it's a bit too late in life I think it was a wonderful moment when you're like oh this might be a new hobby and you were on the you're on the bicycle and you were giving it a go I think I think you should still you should still consider it it'd be a wonderful
Starting point is 00:32:17 if I was near a bicycle at the right I definitely would cycle again if I saw a bicycle that was the right sort of height well you know I think you know if david's listening to this i'm sure he listens to the taskmaster podcast it's a good idea for a christmas present um so it's not i don't want that for it i don't want it for a christmas present but thank you um you took 95 seconds you put your foot down eight times um like you say you weren't going to use the brake it was all about putting your foot down. You got two points, but Morgana did worse again. She's having a bit of a rough episode. She burst the wrong balloon. She did the course in 68 seconds and made nine mistakes.
Starting point is 00:32:55 So her final time was 1 16th of a second, which must have been hugely frustrating. That's one point for Morgana. Guz, I don't know what he was doing at the end with that pedal and down technique where he had one foot on a pedal as if he was balancing but then was using the other foot to steady himself so was halving his time every single time he put it down i never really understood what they were trying to do no you you to go slowly around what are you meant to do just pedal slowly well here's one thing i thought and it was the first thing that occurred to me and no one seemed to do it
Starting point is 00:33:33 was if as long as you were in the course and you were cycling then the time was still running you didn't need to go straight and do everything and go to the end you could have cycled around each obstacle like four or five times and just spend as long on the course as possible like weaving in and out oh i see how you won this now that's yes i mean i couldn't because to go around it you'd have to be constantly turning wouldn't you but of course yeah you just hang out on the course for a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're all morons. Alan did it. I mean, Alan was so chilled out as well. I mean, the combination of seeing Alan and Desiree at the same time,
Starting point is 00:34:17 even right at the end, just having to say, I'm a speedy cyclist. Alan literally just said it as if he was walking along. Just, I'm a speedy cyclist, popped it in. Desiree, I'm a speedy cyclist. She was so upset. Yeah, so worried. But to me, obviously looking at it, it's a little bit of magic that they can ride the bike. Everything else is secondary.
Starting point is 00:34:35 Alan was just, yeah, I'm just, same as if he was walking. I just glide along on these wheels. But that has been Alan's vibe for the series so far i think in that he does approach every task as if it's something he normally does and just sort of like plods through it and then walks out the other side he doesn't really get upset or worried about anything does he no he doesn't which is he has an unflappable quality which i envy that's great but then envy is such a flappable emotion you You say I've fallen at the first hurdle.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Yes, exactly. Alan would never envy anything. No, he wouldn't. Desiree did it in 84 seconds and only made four mistakes which is pretty impressive actually. So she gets the five points and Alan gets the four.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Okay, okay, come on. There we go. There, there. Oh my god, Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm actually psyched up to drop it in and then I didn't. I can't do it with one hand. There we go. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no.
Starting point is 00:35:55 But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations,
Starting point is 00:36:37 how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Let's talk about task two. Spread jam on a slice of toast in a really cool way.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Coolest jam spreading wins. You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now. So you were instantly worried that you didn't know what people would think is cool. Obviously, the word cool worries me yeah because I don't I mean there I really don't subscribe to other people's idea of cool I don't like it yes but I had to work out I mean who has set this task because Greg you know Greg's idea of cool much so Greg might laugh about me and Alan being the old contestants.
Starting point is 00:37:45 He's significantly older than I am. And it's possible that his idea of cool is set in sort of the world of the Fonz. Is he your kind of, hey, combing your hair in a jacket kind of cool? Or is it your more modern cool, your kind of Mark Zuckerberg, what's cool is to completely get coding and, you know, have a load of Insta likes. Is it that kind of either way I'm out in the cold but what was even meant by cool hugely subjective the word cool but then you're not you're not doing what is cool to you because Greg is giving you the points so it's a really it's a really tricky one and you've just got to do the sort of first thing that comes into your mind I think um I think also context is all because I did think that having not a care for your own life
Starting point is 00:38:31 is quite cool it's always like that in films if it's James Bond or kind of Mel Gibson in something that is quite cool and I thought basically shoving an old trowel in your mouth is showing absolute carelessness about germs which was quite good I think I did look quite sort of physically confident and brave but then you jammed it up against me screaming as I attempted to ride a bike so I gave the lie to any idea that I have no concern for my own safety you definitely yeah you definitely lost cool points with the bike thing anyway so you're working from negative cool on this task um yes i think i think it was a good piece of logic that it's cool to not care about your own safety but i think that is like riding a motorbike with no helmet or you know something dangerous like that
Starting point is 00:39:16 rather than eating dirt i i don't think that's necessarily the coolest way to show you don't care about your own safety no but then you've got to imagine what we're doing it gets very philosophically complicated there's a lot of concentric circles the context we're in is that we're on television jumping about like performing seals desperately trying to win the approval of a man sitting on a big throne and then it's going to go on the television how cool is it ever going to be we've turned up look at what we're prepared to do for money we scream with every frame we've taken a fee we've left our dignity at the door and whatever nonsense they ask us to do we'll do it so how much is that ever gonna do you know i mean you just you can't you can't
Starting point is 00:40:07 get outside those parameters it's like trying to imagine the mind of god you can't if you're inside a thing it's not whatever we do that's trying to be cool we're only trying to be cool in the eyes of greg davis in the hope that he'll give us some points as we sit there panting like spaniels for a drop of water. It's never going to be cool, no matter what you do. Yeah, that in itself is very uncool. So yeah, I think it was a good bit of logic
Starting point is 00:40:36 that you'd be cool if you didn't care about your own safety. But I think commentating on why it's cool always ruins something that's cool if you see what I mean if you've just done it and then argued it in the studio but giving like a ted talk on on why it's cool whilst you're spreading the jam on might have taken away from the the sort of cool impulsive element of it is that what it is but I I struggle with silence. Obviously, that's not very cool. But if I've just done that in complete silence, oh, it's very awkward.
Starting point is 00:41:09 I mean, you can always judge someone's self-confidence by how long a silence they're prepared to leave. Yeah, totally. Some people can do it for ages. I see what you mean. Yes, if I just spread the jam quietly. Yeah, I can't. No, I couldn't do that.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah, I mean, look, everyone filled the silence, I think. I mean, Guzz's was my favourite I think it deserved the five points even though he was slightly scared by the toast popping up but I could watch Guzz be slightly scared by things forever the croquet
Starting point is 00:41:38 mallets was a nice way of doing it and I think it appealed to Greg the sort of semi-violent way of getting jam onto toast of just it appealed to Greg, the sort of semi-violent way of getting jam onto toast, of just like slamming it on with the mallets. It's very satisfying to watch, I think. Yes, I mean, that's in a world where croquet mallets aren't the antithesis of cool.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Yeah. I mean, that's, you don't, when you see your coolest kind of young people hanging out, they're not off for a game of croquet. No, no, sure. But yeah, no, fair play. That was cool. The double mallet, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Alan wore three pairs of sunglasses. And I mean, it's fun watching people have a meltdown on Taskmaster. They just like invented some mad story of him walking around in the gardens with a leaf blower and using a leaf blower to spread the jam, which I really liked.
Starting point is 00:42:27 But... What was interesting about that was there, that was an example of Alan being much, much less cool than he is normally. Yeah. You know, his natural self, he's a great comedian. He has this incredible, like a superpower, this incredible kind of comic force combined with this unflappable laid-back
Starting point is 00:42:49 personality which is amazingly cool with each successive pair of sunglasses he put on he got less cool yeah in fact he plays it cool for every task this is probably the task where he plays it the least cool yeah because he's trying uh but the leaf blower blowing jam that was a good idea if it had blown it on with more force i think it would have been the five points but it sort of just like flopped out the end of the leaf blower yeah but is that cool i think quite impressive but if you were in a cafe and a guy came in with a leaf blower and just kind of blasted gobbets of jam onto his toast. Would you think, I tell you what that guy is, cool.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I'd think it was weird. I'd probably complain actually. You'd think it was weird. You'd think it was frightening. I think having any equipment is a bit uncool. Do you think? I think my brother said to me once, but one time when I was trying to be cool at school, absolutely, but my brother is quite cool. Well, he certainly was when we were at school. And one of the things he said to me and i remember it with shame to this day he said i think it's a problem that that
Starting point is 00:43:50 little that little satchel you have i place an awful kind of navian red stitch not like an old school satchel which would be quite cool but this was sort of canvas bag and i sort of held it it was bulging with stuff yeah a snack you know all these sort of things whereas he and i just suddenly as he said it i didn't understand how it was possible he could just go to school with sort of nothing he didn't have water he didn't have an apple a pen i mean he might have sometimes held a book but just the fact that he was just heading out there with nothing at all was in itself so cool. Yeah. So I would say being obliged to carry a leaf blower.
Starting point is 00:44:29 And you know what? I was going to say, oh, but that's why you're where you are, Victoria. And, you know, and your brother's where he is. But then he's also massively successful as well. So that doesn't work. Yeah. He earns so much more money than I do. You hear that, kids?
Starting point is 00:44:47 Take nothing to school every day and you'll earn loads of money. Desiree spits the jam onto the toast. And I like the idea of the graffiti. I think she deserved an extra point for that and for the commitment of licking it onto the toast. And Greg seems to think Morgana had a full breakdown. I think she looked totally in control. Within Morgana's vibe, that seemed like a fairly normal thing to do.
Starting point is 00:45:09 I mean, again, this is, she went the word play route, which again, didn't really pay off. Well, I think if the task had been what is the most erotic way to put down on toast, obviously the leaf blower would win but morgana would be a close second yeah whether cool i mean i don't know i imagine it inspires a lot of strong emotions in the viewers let's just put it that way okay but when they when the ice went down her top
Starting point is 00:45:41 yeah i imagine there was an element of delight for the viewers, whether it was that they were impressed by the cool, I don't know. But yes, I see. Do you know, I'm only just realising it's because ice is cold. I'm going to admit this to you, Ed.
Starting point is 00:46:02 Right, oh wow. It's because the things are cold, isn't it? Yes, cool. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Do, wow. It's because the things are cold, isn't it? Yes, cool. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Do you know, I wasn't, even I, who am robustly heterosexual, wasn't really concentrating on the rationale. As the ice creams went in and the ice cubes, I wasn't really, yeah, I'm just getting it now.
Starting point is 00:46:26 Yeah, cool. It's the cool cool situation yes then I've I feel very proud of myself for managing to maintain decorum and actually seeing the wordplay for what it was you should be proud of yourself I was thinking of it in terms of a bit like mine it's like she does she doesn't care that this would be very uncomfortable to have the ice cubes down there so yeah it's cool as in like, I don't really... No, it's because the things are cold. Yep. Yes. All right, I'm there. Well, no, it didn't do well anyway.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Like two Cornettos down the top, it was two points. There we go. Been waiting to do that for a while. It certainly was. Thank you. If you are cool, Guz, what makes cool? Because honestly, you look pretty frightened when that toaster went off.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Okay, listen, I would argue that something popping out that was on fire at anybody would make them not look cool. Sometimes when I really... I was like, OK, I might be cool. It's when I was a teacher. You were also a teacher. I was. And when I was the guy that would walk in school in the morning, the kids would be like, yes, Khan, what's going on with you? I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, firms is this and that. And then when my colleagues came in, the kids would be like,
Starting point is 00:47:28 you're a dickhead. So I was like, yeah, I'm the coolest up there. And everyone else is a dickhead. It's a fair point. It's a point I'm making. Task three, here we go. Solve the riddle. You must all stay in your rooms.
Starting point is 00:47:42 Firstest wins. Your time starts now. And an extra task from Morgana. You'll also get two bonus points if you can all stay in your rooms first this wins your time starts now and an extra task for morgana uh you'll also get two bonus points if you can make one of your teammates say submarine you can't say submarine at any point if they think you've tried to make them say submarine you lose two points um now victoria surely as soon as you saw this you thought this this is it this is this is my task to win i wouldn't have done the submarine one so well she did that brilliantly i thought it was very good and it also made all the more funny by the fact she did that so quickly and then had literally nothing
Starting point is 00:48:14 else to do for an hour and a half to do for hours well girls struggled with whatever them yes no i was very relieved i'm all right at riddles I it was more likely to play to my strengths than paint a portrait with a two-inch paintbrush I've never practiced it before sure yes yeah I mean it was incredible how how quickly you solved it and the fact that Alan was in the other room and he had the other half of the jigsaw but you didn't need him to have the other half the jigsaw and you'd solved it before he even got a chance to tell you um it was yes i know i thought having the having the whole alphabet would have made it less fun because it was definitely a solvable puzzle with half of it yeah um so i thought that that didn't because in a way it
Starting point is 00:49:01 delays it because all the business of finding the other half of the puzzle. Yeah. You know, that sort of gets in the way. I'm sure if Alan had been focused on just solving the riddle, he would have done it very quickly as well. Yes. He had to dress himself like Charlie Chaplin. And that's what I'm very bad at. We used up a lot of time with me trying to decipher the diagram of the room that he was in I was absolutely at sea
Starting point is 00:49:26 with that if you tell me p equals x l equals q minus three that I can do yeah trying to work out what in this diagram is a window yeah I'm left in the dust I can't that I can't Alan did what exactly what I would do in that situation even before he'd read the bit about when someone looks like Charlie Chaplin or you'd you'd read that or told him about that he'd put the hat on already so he saw a hat and he put it on it's just pure pure instincts the funny hats going on um but it was it was marvelous to watch just you absolutely in control of that it was great and also just so exciting to see a secret cupboard there's nothing more satisfying than seeing something yeah i love do you do escape rooms victoria do you know i haven't ever done an escape room and i must because we had a great team the
Starting point is 00:50:15 escapologists in um only connected they're all escape room fans and i hear a lot about it there's a few in cardiff and I still haven't been. But partly because, you know, with all of these things, people think I'll be good at that kind of thing. Well, maybe less so now. Maybe I'm freed by Taskmaster, liberated to go and do an escape room. But I just imagine people sort of slightly disappointed, go, oh, she's been in there three or four hours now. Should we call someone?
Starting point is 00:50:42 I think you would do well at them. Given your performance in this, I think you would do well at them. Given your performance in this, I think you would do well in escape rooms and they are a lot of fun. So you and Alan did it in 33 minutes, 33 seconds. Absolutely outstanding work from you. And you know what? Alan was very supportive.
Starting point is 00:51:01 I'll say that. And he really tried. So Morgana, as we said, dispatched with the submarine task incredibly quickly and she got the two bonus points fairly easily. Now let's talk about Desiree and Guz. I didn't understand what Guz was doing. I don't understand what he was doing.
Starting point is 00:51:21 What was he doing? Just look at the thing. You write it down and this letter is that letter. You're done. Had he not encountered the alphabet before? I have no idea. Absolutely baffling. Desiree went into this annoyed anyway.
Starting point is 00:51:36 So when she saw the task, she was annoyed because the riddle wasn't there. So she was angry at Alex straight away. Guz seemed to sense that like a little brother. There was huge little brother energy from Guz throughout this task. And he just went, I mean, in terms of catchphrases from this series so far, this is Guz with another revelation is my favourite. He just decided to be annoying and he liked saying the word revelation. And he thought, I'm just going to say this over and over again.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Do you know what? That is a brilliant observation. It is a little brother dynamic. It is. Because Desiree, I think, again, if Desiree had been left alone with half a jigsaw, she would have solved it. She's got an IQ of about 4,000. She knows exactly what's going on.
Starting point is 00:52:18 And I think that's right. I think there's an element of sabotage in him just, you know, she's building a house of, you know, lobbing. It's like, she's, she's building a house of cards and he's lobbing a tennis ball at it every five minutes. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:52:30 exactly. And when she works out just to ignore Gus and he's not being helpful, he, he sort of, he goes off and does a song. He's just like, I'm going to, I'm going to draw attention somehow.
Starting point is 00:52:41 This is Gus with another revelation. And one more hour and he'd have been nude yeah it was um another couple of amazing quotes one for desiree which was fuck me in the face when guz guz really really was uh not helping at all and alex was openly laughing at that point as well it was was lovely. It was absolutely classic comedy. Desiree there is the sort of classic sitcom dynamic of the highly intelligent person. I'm not going to say surrounded by fools
Starting point is 00:53:13 because Morgana was great too, but Morgana was slightly, she was trapped off in the caravan. She wouldn't really help. But it was like a sort of blackadder where there's just a Baldrick standing between him and success and the sort of face of
Starting point is 00:53:26 desiree the mounting frustration and she was held back by the people that were meant to be on her team yeah delightful even just the uh like the alphabet was beyond guz when when they tried to say v for veronica and he said who the fuck is is Veronica? And at that point you're like, right Guz, just please, someone go and take the walkie-talkie off him. He's really, he's just a speed bump in this. Yeah, yeah. Oh, it was marvellous. I loved it. That might have been my, I think it might
Starting point is 00:53:56 be my favourite task of the series so far. Just to see you absolutely nailing it. You and Alan as a team working so well and the polar opposite of the other team. It was great. They were lucky to get two points each, Desiree and Guz. I feel like Guz should have got no points and Desiree should have got two.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Well, this is the thing. That's the team, isn't it? You have to be happy for even the person that basically sabotaged your operation to benefit from its success. And you and Alan, of course, both got the five points. I just had an idea.
Starting point is 00:54:29 Can you put the map out into the corridor so you're both technically still in your rooms, but you can show each other your stuff? Presumably. Is that the double doors? OK, so if that's the case, the X is on this wall. OK, I'm going to make my jigsaw. It's here somewhere. Hold Okay, I'm gonna make my jigsaw.
Starting point is 00:54:45 It's here somewhere. Hold on, I found another puzzle. Guys, there's been another revelation in the lab. So many revelations. Letters, letters upon letters. U-S-V-G. Leger, yacht, avager, leger, little baby. Leger yacht. Avogadro. Leger. Little baby.
Starting point is 00:55:06 It's like a cipher for kids. So the letter A equals E. B is L. Guys, have you assembled your half of the puzzle? Over. Sorry, guys, I was temporarily distracted. Could you just repeat that? Fuck me in the face.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Let's talk about the live task. Did you enjoy doing the live tasks victoria was that something that was up your street or did you dread them well it depended what they were it's always uncertainty that's the problem isn't it not really knowing what's what's going to happen so certain things yes i quite like the kind of thing where it's you've got to throw a certain number of balls in a bucket or that kind of thing is fine. But you never know when it's going to be something absolutely awful. Yeah. So, you know, it's, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Well, this, yeah, this was a throwing one. Get the most forks in your bucket. You may only throw after a full spin on your chair. You must stay sat in your chair at all times. You may not move your chair. You have 100 seconds. I mean, it was just chaos, obviously. I enjoyed that. I think that's a good, I could happily spend a day i enjoyed that i think that's a good i could
Starting point is 00:56:06 happily spend a day doing that i think that's a good it's a good idea for a game it feels like the sort of thing they developed when they were just in an office it feels like the sort of thing you would develop in a writer's room when you're supposed to be writing something else yes um uh i i wrote a lot of man down with greg and we would play a game called Blu-Tack Phone where you'd have to hold your phone up and the other person got to throw a full ball of Blu-Tack from across the room towards your phone as hard as they could.
Starting point is 00:56:33 So it's very difficult to get the phone, but the risk of holding the phone up was intense. So it's that level of game. Yeah. But that kind of thing is always, that's good fun. Yes. I like that. And, But that kind of thing is always, that's good fun. Yes. I like that. And, you know, when the jeopardy, I would, because I don't,
Starting point is 00:56:50 I think it's because I've got no pride tied up in that. I don't care if I can't throw a lot of forks in a bucket. That's not a problem for me. As opposed to, to bring it back to the beginning, presenting Greg shyly with a joke that I'm quite proud of. Yeah. As he sort of sneers it out of the room. Yeah, that's no good, is it?
Starting point is 00:57:09 It goes right to the core of everything you feel you are. You think being able to think of a reasonable pun is what compensates for not being able to get a lot of forks in a bucket. Yeah. But that sort of low jeopardy game is quite fun. Yes. Yeah, I suppose you didn't go into Taskmaster being Victoria,
Starting point is 00:57:28 the lady who could throw lots of forks into a bucket. But if you did, I'd imagine that would have been a very nerve wracking game. Yeah, no, that's fine. It's like when you see the sports people on Strictly, that's always very awkward. I remember seeing Tony Jacklin on there and he was voted out the first week
Starting point is 00:57:41 and it was very awkward because, you know, this Tony Jacklin, you know, one of the all-time great, great sports people. I mean, incredible kind of grace and agility and an amazing eye. And, you know, this was the end of his career. All of his self-worth tied up in those physical abilities. And he had to stand there while a row of dancers went, physical abilities and he had to stand there while a row of dancers went well it was like a sack of mud being dropped in the road in the rain you get nothing and then he was sent home and I often think you know I haven't seen Tony Jacklin since and I often think you know did his
Starting point is 00:58:17 self-esteem recover from that that would be very very difficult whereas if you locked Tony Jacklin in a room with a riddle and he hadn't been able to solve it, I doubt that would have done him much damage. Well, Morgana did very well on that live task. Got the five points. You got the four points. Very good work from you. Alan, six forks, three points. Desiree, four forks, two points.
Starting point is 00:58:37 And Guz, very badly, two forks, one point. So it's Alan's episode, 21 points. Second place for you victoria bearing in mind you've come bottom of the first three episodes this this is basically a victory for you i think the 16 points i mean huge huge yeah huge stuff strength for strength after this desiree 15 points guz 14 points and morgana bottom with 13 points, which puts Desiree just in the lead ahead of Guz in the series so far. But Alan and Morgana fairly close behind. And,
Starting point is 00:59:12 and also you're there as well, Victoria. So fingers crossed for the best you can say for my performance. That's what the reviewers say. And also Victoria is there as well we've got some emails, Victoria, from listeners, our lovely listeners. OK. Hi, Ed and Victoria.
Starting point is 00:59:53 Victoria, I wanted to ask if you have made the Nutella-Nachos combo again for your own personal consumption, and would you recommend it as a snack for the general public? Thank you so much. That's from a Taskmaster fan in the Philippines. I haven't made it again. It wasn't bad. I mean, it was interesting watching it back, looking at
Starting point is 01:00:12 Desiree's face. She didn't think it was good, and I do think this might be a cultural thing for Americans. Do you know sometimes if you watch Fawlty Towns, which of course was co-written between John Cleese and Connie Booth, and you see Connie Booth who is American, you see some of what the experience of Connie Booth must have been coming to England in the 70s and eating in hotels and sitting down and someone gives her half a grapefruit and orange juice and that's a meal. And you sort of see that horror weave through the sitcom.
Starting point is 01:00:43 And I thought of that looking at Desiree's face as she tasted that. And I just thought, yeah, I've had worse. I haven't made it again, but I mean, that's not to say anything I do cook is any better. No. This is great. I've been wanting to ask you about this ever since you said it.
Starting point is 01:01:00 So this is from Amy in Newcastle. Hi, Adam Victoria. Question one. Are Mr. Strong and Mr. Messy the only characters you've ranked or is it a more extensive list? said it so this is this is from amy in newcastle uh hi adam victoria um question one are mr strong and mr messy the only characters you've ranked or is it a more extensive list um question two who do you think is the least sexy mr man and why um now this of course relates uh to in uh i believe in the last episode um you were suggesting uh that mr strong and mr messy were the sexiest the sexiest Mr. Men. Mr. Messy specifically when he was blow-dried and he goes all smooth.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Do you have a more definitive list than that, Victoria? Well, I don't, but I'm just thinking about one now. I mean, Mr. Sneeze, I quite like the look of him, Sneezy. The least, I mean, it's probably got to be Mr. Uppity, hasn't it? I saw someone say that on Twitter. It's hard to, I mean, people would go for Mr. Tickle, wouldn't they? Some people would think, what can he do with those arms? But I think that would be creepy.
Starting point is 01:01:58 I wouldn't really like that. No, I mean, in general, you know, if I were to indulge in an erotic fantasy, he wouldn't be the Mr. Men I was immediately thinking of. But Mr. Messy, I don't know, there's something about the, you know, it's like when somebody that, just like an old friend that you've known for years and never thought about like that, and then they're suddenly in black tie. You know, it's suddenly reinvented. And it's like that mr messy all smooth
Starting point is 01:02:26 um it's like somebody else wrote to me on twitter and i thought oh gosh this is something i've never discussed with another person but this stranger and i were clearly on the same page there's a moment where mr jelly faints and is picked up by a tramp and there's a a drawing of him in the tramp's hand and he's tiny he fits into the palm of that and your whole universe changes as you go, oh, these creatures are very, very, very small. And that's a different kind of thing. That's more of a sort of maternal instinct you feel towards Mr Jelly. But the moment when Mr Messy comes out smooth,
Starting point is 01:02:59 I mean, we've all had that, haven't we, with friends? And you think, are we going to let the whole relationship change? Or maybe it's just a moment I'll remember. when you had that haircut you did that thing um generally though i suppose i'd like it on the record that you know it's not cartoon characters generally that i know but within within the question of the mr man i'm not we're not saying who's the sexiest and you're saying mr mr messy we are saying within the within the world of the mr men it's mr messy for me no it's it's not always no i know mr messy in that moment when he's where you yeah because he was seeing him in a different way see i have this now i've been married for nearly 10 years yeah but I have that with my husband now.
Starting point is 01:03:49 One of us is suddenly wearing something they haven't worn before. You sort of go, ooh, you seem to want to hold it. I mean, obviously my husband, you know, it might be, it's an old bit of footage on the internet of him dressed as Queen Victoria. Not then. He wears some really stupid shit sometimes on television. But in real life, if you suddenly, somebody's put him in a shirt on a panel show,
Starting point is 01:04:06 and I go, ooh, he wouldn't normally wear that kind of, and you suddenly, you have that with a long-term partner, the sudden sense of them, the sort of otherness, you know, you're so used to them and you know, that's how they eat a boiled egg.
Starting point is 01:04:15 That's what they do if they find a spider. And then there's suddenly a moment, you might look at them across a room at a party and you suddenly have a sense of their sort of separate otherness and it's quite sexy yes that's what mr messy does for me for sure so that's mr messy i'm really i'm really glad we asked that um oh this is a good one um hi ed and the gang i'd love
Starting point is 01:04:39 to know how victoria thinks greg and alex would do if they are on only Connect, which I'm a massive fan of, by the way. So having Victoria on Taskmaster is a wonderful crossover. Thanks again for the podcast. Looking forward to the rest of the series. Janine. Very nice. I think they do very well. This is one of the things that's weird for me
Starting point is 01:04:58 about the dynamic on Taskmaster. In the world of Only Connect, Alex is alpha male. Yeah. He would be the captain. For me to watch Alex be treated as this sort of nebbish in the studio by Greg is really odd. That's not how I would see him. In our world, Alex, he can just do stuff.
Starting point is 01:05:22 He comes up with the task. He's got a lateral brain. He's our kind of guy. But Greg is also very smart. I think they would make a good team. I think there might be pockets of... They need something a bit different in the mix. If a team that was Alex, Greg and Desiree,
Starting point is 01:05:41 so you bring in a bit of the feminine, some transatlantic stuff, maybe a bit of a kind of broader pop culture knowledge. I think that'd be a very powerful team. Well, we might yet see it. We might see the celebrity comedy only connect, fingers crossed.
Starting point is 01:05:59 I would be withering in the chair. Yeah. Withering. That'd be, you finally get your own back on greg he turned up with a bit of wordplay at the top absolutely destroy him it'd be great and victoria thank you so much for coming on to the Taskmaster podcast. We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast
Starting point is 01:06:29 between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster. So please give the Taskmaster podcast a score between one and five from your perspective. Thank you. I would say four because it's very enjoyable talking to you, but I've got a docker point for making me relive some traumatic memories. Yeah, I think that's fair enough. I think four is always a fair score. Some people go in with five and, you know,
Starting point is 01:06:56 those are the people that have no shame and enjoyed everything on Taskmaster. But no, and we specifically want to do... Oh, no, I'm not one of those. No, what did you just come on this episode? of of the bike and because of the riddle uh and it was fantastic talking to you and I think four is a very fair score thank you very much Victoria thank you there we are a brilliant episode thank you so much victoria for coming on you're welcome back anytime if it's not too traumatic for you uh look keep watching taskmaster channel 4 9 p.m you're not going to stop you love it that's why you're here come back next week we've got another brilliant special
Starting point is 01:07:37 guest but for now thank you very much look after yourselves keep watching Taskmaster, and goodbye. brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find
Starting point is 01:08:28 the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store
Starting point is 01:08:39 and ACAS Creative.

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