Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 59. Josh Widdicombe - S5 Ep.3

Episode Date: December 16, 2021

On this week's podcast Ed chats through Series 5 Episode 3 with TM CofC, star of Series 1, podcaster, comedian and author - Josh Widdicombe! The pair dig deep on the episode and reflect on some of Josh's moments on the series. For tickets to Josh's tour visit Joshwiddicombe.com Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterGet in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmasterTaskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. Ed Gamble here, I am the host. Today we'll be talking, as usual, about a specific episode of Taskmaster, breaking it down task by task and chatting about it with a special guest. And we are currently in the midst of talking about series five and today we'll be talking about series five episode three with josh widdicombe yes josh widdicombe the first ever taskmaster champion and the first ever taskmaster champion of champions who will be the second champion of champions i know but i'm not going to tell you josh is

brilliant uh we've had him on the podcast before very much looking forward to chatting to him again now before we get on to the wonderful Josh I will tell you that next week's guest is Lou Sanders her first time on the podcast champion of series 8 of Taskmaster we will be talking to Lou about series 5 episode 4

so get your questions in for Lou taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com. There will be lots of questions because she's never been on the podcast before. Keep watching Taskmaster, all available on all four. I'd say watch these episodes before you listen to the podcast.

That will give you the full experience. Check out the Taskmaster YouTube, plenty of fun stuff on there, and TaskmasterStore.com for all of your Christmas present needs. But enough of that. Let's now talk to Josh Widdicombe about Series 5 of Taskmaster, Episode 3. Welcome back, Josh Widdicombe, to the Taskmaster podcast.

It's a pleasure to be back. Oh, it's lovely. It's a pleasure to be back. It's so lovely to have you here, Josh, to talk about series five episode three yes it's all i talk about normally so it's good to finally have an outlet to talk about series five episode three of taskmaster i know i've been over to your house for dinner before and that's all you bang on about your poor your poor wife sits there going on not episode at least talk about episode four of series five josh i'm a bore on the subject i'm an utter bore on the topic of series five,

episode three. What are your, what are your thoughts on series five in general? The lineup, the vibe, everything that happens. It's a nice lineup, isn't it?

It was the one just before, is the one just before I did champion champions with Bob. Yes. So I think he came off that and then went straight onto doing champion of is the one just before I did Champion of Champions with Bob. Yes. So I think he came off that and then went straight on to doing Champion of Champions, if I'm right in saying. Yeah, not even a moment to relax and sort of bask in being a champion.

He was straight back into competition again. I think, yeah. When he hit the Champion of Champions, he looked like he was burned out. He'd been tasked out. So when you saw him on the day of the Champion of champions he looked like he was burned out he'd been tasked out so that's so when you saw him on the day of the champion of champions record you must have been like well that i'm definitely coming above that guy he's burnt out that must be exactly he's exactly mate he'd given his all to in series five and then he'd been asked to step up again and i just don't think you

should expect that of someone, really. No, but what a result for you that was. What a relief, yeah. Because you had to deal with Beckett, who was obviously nipping at your heels. Yeah, of course, Rob Beckett. Yeah, he was very good. Yeah, I was thinking the other day,

I still can't believe that the final thing of Champions was just run for a minute with gopros on whatnot gopros whatever those things are called step counter things yeah and you're like you what sorry pedometers yeah and you're like surely to god this is the last bit and you've literally this is the basest task you've ever done in your life, Alex. But there's no way of Taskmaster sort of amplifying the importance of what's happening with a serious task.

It's always going to feel like a weird letdown because that's the whole point. It's supposed to be frivolous. Of course, of course. But it did feel like he'd just gone, I don't know, run with the pedometer on. That'll do, won't it? Sorry, of course. But it did feel like he'd just gone, I don't know, run with the pedometer on? That'll do, won't it? Sorry, series five.

Series five, yeah, it's a good line-up. Bob Mortimer, Sally Phillips, Aisling Bea, Mark Watson, and of course, Nish Kumar, the worst Housemaster contestant of all time. Yeah. So let's talk, go on. He doesn't do that badly in this episode. I mean, he comes last.

Yeah, maybe I was, maybe. In my head, maybe because he did well in the final task. In my head, that had prominence. Yeah, because that was playing table tennis with words. We'll get to that. But that's obviously way, way more up Nish's street than anything vaguely practical. But this episode does have what i believe to be nish's crowning achievement in the task in taskmaster history

let's talk about the prize tasks first okay thing they are actually proudest of yeah uh it's a good it's a good prize task. This was, again, sort of, we're still hanging around the era of prize tasks where they're fairly simple, they're fairly straightforward. You can definitely judge them in a simple, straightforward way.

Thing they're actually proudest of. Did you buy any of these, that these were genuinely the things that people were proudest of? Yeah, I did. Which obviously made it, when it's them it obviously makes the um the show slightly awkward for greg i suppose when they're actually because sally's was um genuinely good thing yes it was very impressive yeah very impressive i didn't quite understand it, but it sounded impressive. So she helped change the laws in Iceland

to help improve the lives of pregnant women. Yeah. I didn't feel, and I realised, this is partly because it's a comedy entertainment show based on tasks. They didn't really scratch down into what that actually meant, like how that happened. Do you know what I mean know in terms of the prizes it for me i was left with more questions than answers sure sure i know what you mean it probably

didn't necessarily fit with the tone of the show no um maybe there's there's probably a hilarious outtake they could release on youtube where they really get down into the nitty-gritty of of the laws that she changed and what the issues were beforehand. Have you had her on this? Not yet, no. We are obviously hoping to get her. When you have her on, if you could ask her what that actually involved. Yeah, sure.

Why Iceland? Yes. I don't know what her connection to Iceland is. I think I should know that, but I don't. No. But it was very impressive. And obviously, Bob's was quite emotive as well yeah i think the problem obviously sally's would have won because it's so impressive and and did she did such an important thing it makes me laugh that it only got four points

but you can't really give bob's spirometer that he used off his heart operation to test his lungs anything less than five points, can you? Well, exactly. Yeah, it's very difficult to compete with those two. Although I also think that's because it's Bob as well. So if it was Nish saying, here's my spirometer I used after my heart operation, I think Greg would have found a way to give that one point. Yeah, if I'd brought my inhaler, you know know i don't think it would have done well yeah but that's more pathetic than the spirometer like that that the spirometer feels like something he had to

use and that's all about saving his life i have to use my inhaler to save my life yeah but it's not the same it's oh what because i'm a little nerd with asthma is that what it is nerd mate because it's cool to have heart problems but asthma is not cool is that what it is nerd mate because it's cool to have heart problems but asthma's not cool is that what it is heart problems are rock and roll asthma is for math stoves hey look i'm asthmatic now i get it yeah yeah i do my brown do my brown inhaler twice a day mate oh yeah yeah yeah so i'd say that if you brought your inhaler and I'd be like, we've all got one of those, mate. One point. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough.

Thank you. Thank you. No, it was. And I like the way he presented it as well about the little smiley face. It was. And you don't expect Bob to be that real or narrative. No, exactly. Exactly.

So I think fair enough. And so those two obviously were the most kind of impressive genuinely proud and impressive yeah to the point where I can't I watched it this morning I'm struggling to place

what the other three were oh Celebrity Mastermind yeah I'm going to take you through them so Mark Watson brought in his Celebrity Mastermind trophy as a thing

he's actually proudest of I buy that you know Mark is into things like... You don't buy it. You don't buy it as something that Mark's proud of. It's quite easy, Celebrity Mastermind,

if you put the effort in, Ed. Did you win Celebrity Mastermind, Josh? Yes, I did, yes. Yeah. Who were you up against? A woman from Emmerdale. Right. And a... Not a naturist, what's it called?

Like a naturalist, is that what it's called? Like a kind of Chris Packham bloke called Nick. Okay. Was he naked when you recorded it? No, he wasn't naked. Okay, so not a naturist. Because that leather chair, I don't know if that, that would have been a real awkward situation

with the leather chair. If a man had been sat there naked just before you're going up there. This was pre-COVID as well, so they weren't spraying down the chairs. Yeah. Oh, God. Imagine knowing that you had to follow

a naked man in the leather chair. You might as well just get naked at that point. Yeah, exactly. Why not? Why not? Catherine Mary, the runner. But yeah. Oh, as in a sports runner.

I thought you meant a runner on the show. I thought someone cancelled. Could you get me a cup of tea? And also, could you answer some questions about Aston Villa in the 1980s? You might want to wipe it down. I believe that Watto would be proudest in his life of a celebrity mastermind trophy because obviously we're gonna you know yeah mark's got kids right so you're gonna have to

you're gonna have to cancel out things like that bob's got kids sally's got kids you know there's also things that you just need to nick straight away and it does need to be a little bit frivolous and a little bit fun yes yes so i can see that the celebrity Celebrity Mastermind trophy is the something that he's proudest of. I just think it's sad that that's what he picked. Yeah, I think it... I'm now racking my brains as to whether I... I haven't got that great a memory for what my prizes were, but I've got a terrible feeling that my Pointless trophy was one of them.

I think it might have been, Josh. I don't think it went down well no so i i wouldn't have wanted to this to go down well because i like you obviously want consistency yeah yeah well it didn't go down well it only got it only got two points but you're right i think you did bring in your your pointless trophy um i'm quite angry about that one as well actually um but of course you the tattoo, which no one's ever going to remember any of your other prizes because you tattooed your own foot. Yes, exactly. Yes, exactly.

How's the tattoo getting on? I always like to check. It's all right. I don't even, you know, let me have a look. Yeah, it's still there. Yeah. It's not going anywhere, mate. It's not going anywhere.

Sorry to say. Aisling brought in a cape made out of 12 irish flags which she wore during the fringe show the wrestling yeah firstly just a quick side note pretty depressing to see there's jokes about brexit in series five of taskmaster that's how long this has been going on yeah of course of course and it did make me realize that ashley can travel around europe and we can't yeah wearing a cape freely all she needs is her cape she can just stroll through exactly that's exactly that's all she needs that and and obviously her vaccine passport yeah but um uh now i this is the one i don't necessarily buy

okay it's what she's proudest of she's done a lot Aisling in her career I say this as someone who's never been asked to do it I think I got asked maybe who's never done the wrestling in Edinburgh but it's one of those things

comedians they really they talk about it as much as I talk about series five, episode three of Taskmaster. They love it. They do love it. I've been to see it and it is a lot of fun and I can see you'd get a massive

buzz off doing it. But also bear in mind, I saw it and I was just sat there quite angry to not have been asked to be involved. So it was an awful night for me. But yeah, I can see that, but she's, you that but she's you

know she's very accomplished Aisling now if she did it now I'm sure that's not what she would have brought in yeah she's got like she got a BAFTA or

something hasn't she she would have been nominated for BAFTAs yeah yeah but you know it's a good cape and it was a great picture of her being

lifted yeah very strong man to be honest I'd have brought in the picture rather than the cape. Yeah. Three points though.

I think, I think that was probably a fair score. Let's pop down to the bottom, bottom of the table. It's, it's Nish where he, where he lives. It's a cricket trophy that he won for clubman of the year.

That he won. He won for showing the most enthusiasm in the face of an overwhelming lack of ability, which is an old bit of his stand-up, which is fun to watch because he does it in exactly the same rhythm as he would do on stage. He can't get out of that rhythm. Show the most enthusiasm in the face of,

and I quote, an overwhelming lack of ability. That's the problem, isn't it? When you're trying to weave old bits of stand-up into normal chat it always reminds me of um i did a gig with paul mcafree yeah and uh he's comparing it yeah and um it was it was uh above a pub in um less less square and it was one of those rooms that's so small there's no mic You don't need a mic. Yeah.

And so he was comparing with his hands, like kind of David Cameron doing one of those cool speeches he used to do when he became Tory party leader and he was all young and fooled all of us. Well, not me. Let's not get into that. You loved him, didn't you? I did not love him.

I was more past him when he was smoking a cigarette head in the street. What? Anyway, what was i saying yeah so paul mccaffrey was doing the material like that and then he doing his comparing like that and then he went into his material and his hand came across like as if he was holding a mic he couldn't help it that is absolutely amazing stand-ups are sad robots yeah we're all sad robots that's so funny um yeah that's the thing you can see nish sit up he stopped sort of relaxing in a very initial way goes into nish persona although this was i think that material was like probably nish year one or two right he might have even done that at his first gig, which I booked him for.

So I take full responsibility for Nish Kumar. Apologies. But yeah, I thought it was a nice story and a good prize. And it's clearly something he is genuinely proud of, but it's again, very pathetic that he's proud of it

and it probably deserved one point. Yes, totally agree. And it's only episode three and Greg's worked out, even in episode one, that it's proud of it and it probably deserved one point yes totally and it's only episode three and greg's worked out even in episode one that it's funny it's funny to give nish one point because nish just laughs laughs his head off every time he gets one point um it was one point for nish two points for mark's trophy three points for ashling's cape four points for sally's photo of her outside of the icelandic parliament and five points for Sally's photo of her outside of the Icelandic Parliament and five points for Bob's spirometer. That was my life for six months and you have to get it from nought to five

and if you get it to five, a little smiley face appears. And the day I got the smiley face activated was the proudest day of my life. It's called a spirometer, we can see it. OK, so... We can see it, that's it. What a prize! Thanks, Bob. I can understand why you're proud of that it's a very heartwarming story behind it in that you're alive yes task one remove the table tennis ball from the pipe pipe must not be moved fastest wins your time starts now this is one of the ultimate taskmaster tasks that shows you um sort of book smarts versus

practical intelligence i think yes yes because there's some very intelligent people here doing some incredibly silly things yeah it's it's an absolute i i i mean i'm sure you have this as well ed when you watch it you can't help but think how would i fare yeah and i i'm i'm not confident that i'd do a good job in this task yeah i see what you mean i my my arrogance still reigns fairly fairly uh free so i i look at this and go i'd be fine at this obviously i'd just cover the holes like bob did um i certainly wouldn't do what Mark or Nish. I mean, it's so frustrating watching Nish do anything. And I think it's even more frustrating

as someone who used to live with him and has seen him use cling film before. So Mark's trying to kind of outrun the holes, basically, right? He's trying to overwhelm the holes, I believe. Overwhelm the holes overwhelm the holes yeah he just keeps pouring

he just gets as much liquid as he can he's seen there are holes he knows that there are holes there and what they're going to do

and he thinks if he can pour liquid quickly yeah well you just need a lot of liquid you basically

if you had a hose that would be feasible I don't think it would man because there's so many holes in it yeah see i do badly yeah see your thing so i'm still having watched it go wrong i'm still arguing that it's a feasible plan yeah i don't think it is i mean i think you'd need like maybe a riot hose yeah like you'd one of those ones boris johnson bought for the london yeah you'd need one of those so basically like yeah but essentially i think what would happen there is it'd be such a strong jet of water that you'd be moving the pipe so you'd probably be disqualified

yes of course um yeah i mean you'd destroy the the room by that point if you'd done that. You'd kill Alex. Yeah, and you'd probably smash the ball. Yeah, it's probably not worth it overall to hire in a fire hose or a riot hose or whatever you're getting. I think you just need to plug the holes up. I think you need to let that go, Mark, and plug the holes up. But it's so funny watching Mark do stuff.

He just, he's so great. He's so clever, but he's just... Then you ask him to do anything practical and he's just like a comedy skeleton from a children's book. Yeah, he's... That is the thing, isn't it? It exposes a completely different part of these people.

Because you think of Mark Watson as someone who's... Yeah, very intelligent, don't you? Yeah. I mean, well, same with Nish. If you'd only seen Nish's... No, I don't ever think about that. Yeah, but you know him. But if you'd only ever seen his stand-up...

Yeah. You'd think, well, that's one smart cookie. And then if you meet him once or watch him do anything like this, you know. I mean, basically, this whole series of this podcast is just slagging off Nish every week. Yeah, and he's been on one of those weeks. Yeah, first week, yeah. And he's been on one of those weeks. Yeah, first week. Yeah, absolutely. He annihilated himself.

It took him 44 minutes, Nish. See, this is the frustrating thing. That's insane. It's insane. He realised what needed to be done. So he blocked some of the holes. He even says some of the holes have been blocked. Block all of them, mate.

Yeah. Just block all of them. And then he gets that cling film and just loosely wraps it in cling film. Astonishing. That's how he used to cover stuff in the fridge when we lived together. It's so frustrating to watch.

It's really, yeah, it's unbearable. And the thought that somewhere that full 44 minutes of footage exists and how painful that must be to watch because we're watching an abridged version a heavily abridged version and it's annoying that would be a great a great torture technique or an art installation just show the full 44 minutes of nish doing that Go and sit in a room and watch that. I love the quote from Alex that apparently Nish at some point said, oh God,

it's like a bassoon. I would actually like to see all, I'd like to see another sort of maybe a longer, a longer edit of that. I'd watch 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be quite good.

Like, you know, I don't know if you have things which help you get to sleep but it'd be quite nice just to kind of lull you to sleep in the back of a car or something that would not help me get to sleep i'd be wide-eyed my dilated pupils just screaming at nishka why are you doing that um ashling had i mean i guess a mini meltdown i think we've all had that i mean that master yeah because she was like i'm not moving, the thing I'm moving the plate. Right.

Yes. Yeah. I mean, it's just, I mean, it's, it's one of those things where you think you're being clever. And then the moment you're sat in the room, you know, I still regret my turn a wheelbarrow into a cup of tea. But I think those are the things that keep taskmaster interesting right they are the things that keep it interesting but um in another way they're also the things that make you look like a twat but i think ashley got away with looking like that because and i think this is also the reason why she got disqualified completely she didn't try and argue it in the studio so yeah she was literally like yeah i mean obviously i've

i've moved the pipe there what i would have done is for 20 minutes in the studio yeah i moved the tray the pipe happens to be on the tray the ball was on the tray i was simply tipping the ball off the tray and just because there was a pipe there that doesn't make any difference to me i wasn't moving the pipe and then still being disqualified but also looked like an absolute wally yes yeah exactly yeah yeah but she just sort of goes yeah fine yeah she she's actually a far more reasonable person than you or i had yes we're not reasonable people we're awful um let's talk about sally i mean, Sally's the only one who thinks, rather than use any liquid,

or she tries to initially, go in the top and get it. Such a good idea. And to have the correct hoover, because I was just... Yeah. Like, my hoover, you couldn't do it with a Henry. I'm going to tell you that now.

Have you got a Henry? I think we've got a Henry, yeah. Do you know what? We've upgraded to a Mille, actually, Ed. Is that like a French Henry? I don't know. I just... Does it have a little beret on?

An Henri. But yeah, we couldn't use our hoover because like it needed to it's just it's it's too perfect it's so perfect do you know what i mean yeah it just looks glorious the way it works that's when you start really overthinking how they plan the tasks and start going well they must have known yeah exactly yeah maybe they bought the hoover in, hoping someone would use it. Whereas what likely happened is Sally thought, oh, a hoover would be good. And it just so happened that the hoover that they had was absolutely perfect for this ask.

Yeah. But it's genius. But still only four points. Again, she's been just pipped by Bob as she was in the prize task. She did it in just under 13 minutes because she spent a long time using the funnel for no reason. Yeah. Putting straw was in the prize task. She did it in just under 13 minutes because she spent a long time using the funnel for no reason. Yeah.

Putting straws in the holes. I mean, the funnel's such an insane decision to try. Yeah, I didn't quite understand that. Was she trying to overwhelm the holes again? I think she was trying to overwhelm the holes.

I don't know what... I think she initially got the funnel hoping that she could plug a hole with it, but then thought, try and tip it into the funnel. But to swing from such insanity to such genius it's great it's feast or famine isn't it really yeah with sally in that task uh and bob

just this is so casual that's what i found like i i felt like whenever i was doing a task on taskmaster i was in a state of anxiety yeah and trying to do everything a double quick speed and he's just casually doing it yeah casually doing it doing exactly the right thing he's plugging the holes of the uh the earplugs and using tape and also it's so much value you get so much value from Mortimer this is why he's's a big favourite of people's, I think, in this show. Because not only is he doing the task in a consummate, relaxed and professional way, he's also created a whole story.

He's doing a routine that he goes out and gets everything from these people outside. He's asking Alex questions. This makes me, I think about this most days. When he says to Alex, do you have a catchphrase? And Alex says, no. And Bob says, why not the wife?

Why not? Why? And the person raising money for daft kids. Kids are a bit daft. Oh God, it's just so good. And eight minutes 13. It's a real masterclass in Taskmaster, I think. Really?

I mean, I know you're not into football, Ed. Is it like good football well there's often this thing said with like great footballers that they just look like they have much more time on the ball right interesting like they they just they're always in space and they always they're never harried and they're never hustled and they've and that's they've just got an innate ability to just be calm on the ball and also always be in the right. And that's how watching Bob do that felt. That's interesting.

Is that football-wise, is that because they're just better or is it because everyone really likes their football so much they just give them a bit of space to watch them? Yes, Ed. Everyone sits back and watches Paul Scholes. The other team applaud him as he passes the ball that's what happens so it looks like he's got more time because he does because they're all yes because they know that football is in the end of the day an entertainment business

and so he's paid he's indirectly paying their wages so they have to let him play it's a good point it's a good if you shut down all the best people you're gonna you're gonna end up with less money in the long run aren't you exactly exactly that's how it works yeah i knew it i knew it it's not a real sport but getting a table tennis ball from a pipe is a real sport and bob is very good at it five points for bob four points for Sally, three points amazingly for Mark who took 23 minutes 10 seconds. Even more amazingly, it's

two points for Nish who took 44 minutes. And Aisling of course, zero points for Aisling. So in summary, Aisling entered the room, she got pissed, she putisling entered the room, she got pissed... LAUGHTER

..she put some paper down a tube, she flagrantly ignored the rules and turned the tube upside down. Yes. Right. Yes. When a bird is in a tree and the tree is chopped down, the woodsman has moved the bird. And you are directly quoting from my chest tattoo. LAUGHTER Well, I appreciate that.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption

actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. at york university we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow join us at yorku.ca write the future task two it's one of my favorites this series make this coconut look like a businessman you have 10 minutes to plan your coconut businessman and then 10 minutes to make him your time starts now. This is good stuff, isn't it? It's a great task.

It's exactly the kind of task I hated. Oh, really? Yeah. I hated... I do apologise if I'm repeating myself from last time, but I struggled most with the creative tasks. Because you're not very creative and you don't have any joy. Would that be fair to say?

Yeah, nail on head. What would you have done? Would you have just panicked? Would you have panicked about it? I just, I'd always feel like, I don't know, because with the problem-solving ones, you can just, I'd always feel like, I don't know, because with the problem solving ones, you can just, you know, you've just got to do it and get it done. Whereas with the creative ones, it feels so infinite. And it feels like everyone else is going to have these great ideas. And settling on an idea always feels like, you know, I found it too stressful those kind of things yeah i mean we've definitely talked about this before but it just it feels like it's too close to also doing your job of being a comedian yes then there's an added pressure whereas the ones where it's just like get this

ball in this thing you're like well i can do that and i can be funny along the way by accident but when it's like make a funny thing which is essentially what this is is it's more pressure exactly and it it it feels like the the kind of the more out there people are gonna be better at it feels a bit like going to edinburgh head when we were the boring guys hey i wasn't the boring guy you're you kidding me? I'm great fun. I know what you mean, yes. I once said I was going through a particularly rough patch with Edinburgh and feeling a bit like that, like I was quite boring compared to everything else that was happening in Edinburgh.

And me and my now wife were at London Zoo just before we went to Edinburgh. And they have pigs at London Zoo. And I went, that's what I feel like. I feel like a pig at London Zoo just before we went to Edinburgh and they have pigs at London Zoo and I went that's what I feel like I feel like a pig at London Zoo everyone likes pigs all year round right they come to London Zoo and they all want to see the lions and the tigers

and the poor pigs are sat there and no one's looking at the pigs and she was like I'm not sure you should go to the fringe anymore but do you know what Ed they're much more likely to book a pig than a giraffe for Mock the Week. So you make... You win some, you lose some.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Mock the Week, full of pigs. Absolutely full of pigs. Well, you say that, but obviously Bob is one of the most creative comedians of any generation. And he doesn't do very well here. I think he completely lost his mind.

Yes, I totally agree. You presumed Bob was going to, you know, absolutely smash this task. But yes, it's... I mean, I thought Greg was quite harsh on it in the sense of it was still there was an element of there was some fun creativity to it yeah i think it's still better than what i would have done which i don't know what i would have done but i i i saw decide now what would you have done quickly quickly decide now um what making coconut into a businessman yeah yeah i'd have just ended up just building like a outfit wouldn't i yeah i think i would have done something similar um but with with bob's

it's interesting because bob is so good but i think what bob is very good at is elevating the normal to his level um whereas this is initially quite a wacky task anyway isn't it yes yes exactly and yeah i suppose yeah that's the thing it's difficult to um be wacky about wacky right yes yeah although you know i did enjoy it and i enjoyed the reveal of the coconut businessman and him just saying i'm i'm a fucking businessman well the thing with it was i didn't realise it was bad until I saw the other ones. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. If you just showed me that, I'd have gone, oh, yeah, that's great.

I was almost like, you know, I thought, oh, that's really good. And then you see the other ones and you're like, it's not as good as the other ones. But you're just wowed by anything slightly creative, right? Because you just don't have a creative thought in your body. I've never had a creative thought in 38 years of my life. I've never had a creative thought. You give nativity plays a standing o you just don't you just don't have a creative i've never had a creative thought 38 years of my life you give you give uh nativity plays a standing ovation don't you i do and it's weird because i my my daughter's too young to be in them as well so it's it's doubly creepy when i turn up to schools and give nativity plays standing ovations but i think the criticisms of bob's were were fair in that i think bob himself says

it wasn't a coconut businessman really it was just a coconut character yeah um so sally let's talk about sally's which i think was was quite harshly scored this one um she created the scene with a coconut with a little suit on but it was the details josh it was the little details i think elevated a calculator yeah i yeah i thought that was really strong and the graph that money that money was going up so much over time yeah i thought i thought i think this was a quality i think there was high quality entrance across the board in this task. Yeah, there were. But for me, Sally was my four points, I'd say. Yeah? So I think it was a real surprise for her to only get two points.

It was my favourite little scene that was created. Although Aisling also created a wonderful scene with her coconut business lady, the 58-year-old app creator. Yes. There was a lot going on. She created a real backstory there. Yeah, would a 58-year-old year old be in apps well this is it i think she was she was talking about breaking boundaries you know yeah it's never too late and you know there's you can imagine i think ashling

saying that you know we we wouldn't we wouldn't uh be surprised by a 58-year-old app billionaire if he was a man. I don't know about that. I'm 38 and I already feel like I'm 20 years beyond the kind of people that are creating apps. Yeah, I was going to say, mate, your TikTok account is weird. You need to take it down. I haven't got a TikTok account, have I? Yeah. No.

You do. Josh Whittakin's official TikTok account. No. I don't need this in my head. But Aisling's Coconut Business Lady, I liked very much. Yeah. I loved all the men drinking her blood.

It's just, there was something very vampiric about the whole thing. I liked it a lot i like the red lipstick i enjoyed many many of those details yeah let's talk about mark firstly he took six minutes to open the briefcase yeah that was incredible so he's never opened a briefcase i don't that then made me think um like it is a weird way that a briefcase like a briefcase is a different way i was like yeah if i didn't know how to open a briefcase yeah how maybe it is different from every other opening it is but you must have seen it in film yes there's so many briefcase opening

scenes in films of course course, you know... Too many, if you ask me. Yeah, too many. They waste a lot of time with it, right? You know that you either push the things outwards or inwards, right? Yeah. That's how it works. Yeah.

And you try that. Even if you wanted to press it down, up, you'd get there eventually. But did he start messing with the code and stuff? He thought that it was part of the task to get the code. Oh, God, yeah. Just got in his head, didn't it? Six minutes to open the briefcase. If that was me, I would have to leave the show.

I'd be so ashamed. Yeah, that is it. But it's difficult. I'm sure I've told you this before, but the first time I ever had to break an egg was on Sunday brunch. Right. How did that happen?

How did that happen? Because I don't like, I've never liked eggs. Yeah, well, it's fair enough, I suppose. And so I've never been in a situation where I've broken an egg. Yeah. And then I got onto Sunday brunch and they were like, could you just break that egg? And I couldn't say I've never broken an egg before

because it's a pretty alpha atmosphere, Sunday brunch. So obviously I've seen it in the movies as well, but it is a stressful thing to do for the first time in your life, is break an egg. Yeah, I mean, I'd say what's easier, thing to do for the first time in your life, is break an egg. Yeah, I mean, I'd say what's easier, breaking an egg for the first time or opening a briefcase for the first time? At least with an egg, you know what the technique is.

You've seen it a million times. But it did remind me of trying to break an egg on Sunday brunch. I can see you're Googling. Are you Googling Josh Riddick on Sunday brunch? No, I'm not. I'm actually Googling Richard Blackwood's Sunday brunch that's where he doesn't he didn't know what lemon zest yeah well it was just sweet richard blackwood but then the video that's just come up the first thing he does is break an egg very well so i think i think you're worse than blackwood in a way

but i'll be uh be watching that video because that's a lot of fun yeah i can't believe you broke an egg for the first time on sunday brunch that's great um but so let's talk about mark's actual effort because when he opened the suitcase um he got on with it and he set the coconut up as what he claims to businessman by setting up a facebook group saying he'll answer questions yeah but. But then he actually registered... Where's the profit in that? Well, yes, this is my point. He then registered the coconut with Companies House. This is the most impressive business aspect of it.

This is what makes the coconut a business man. This is what gets him the points. But, Josh, that was done way outside of the time limit. Of course it was. Of course it was. It takes a while to register at Companies House. I think he's very lucky to have got these points. Is that company still registered? Interesting.

Is it a shell company, Ed? Oh, Josh. That is sublime. Absolutely sublime. What was the company called? When was the series broadcast? 2016, something like that? It's taken a long time for that joke to come out,

but I think it's worth it. Well, I've told you, I only talk about Series 5, Episode 3 of Taskmaster. Yeah, you've got a tight half an hour on this, haven't you? Yeah, exactly. Your routine about this is longer than the show itself. Shell Company, that's good stuff thank you thank you um but um yeah that's outside the time limit the company's house as soon as mark was doing that

i thought well you need to register on company's house i don't know what the legalities of that are because i'm pretty sure you can't register a coconut on company's house so i think marks to get it registered on company's house he might have had to commit fraud i'm sure you could register you'd probably have it would probably be a company still registered under mark's name yes yes posing as a coconut to answer people's questions so this is all you know this is all nitty gritty, but we need to talk about the nitty gritty. That's what the podcast is all about.

I personally wouldn't have given Mark the points, but it was such an inventive and fun thing to do. I think I probably just let that go. I thought it was more exciting than putting a suit on a coconut because that's what your first thought is. Yes. Well, let's talk about Nish. I do believe this is Nish's best achievement,

probably in his entire career. And this is awful to say, I can't remember Nish's. Can you not? It got the five points. It was rather than put a suit on the coconut. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He comes out the door.

He put a suit on and came out the door and the coconut was his head. With a tie made out of money. Yeah. The thing is, it's the best thing Nish has ever done. The money tie was fantastic. I loved it.

It made me scream the first time I saw it. It really took me by surprise. And doesn't it date it that people still had cash in those days? Yeah. Nowadays, it'd just be a phone, wouldn't it? Yeah. Oh, God, it made me laugh. Yeah, really strong.

Also, Nish knows it's good and he knew that that because he's told us on this podcast he knew that he had about three strong tasks going into it and that was one of them so he was ready to showboat there was no sometimes they cut back to the studio and someone's done something amazing they're sort of looking a bit humble they cut back to the studio here and nish is like he's got a whole bit planned about it he's ready to talk about it he's got a whole character based around it he's so proud of himself and he's got a whole bit planned about it. He's ready to talk about it. He's got a whole character based around it. He's so proud of himself and he's right to be. This is incredible stuff from Nish.

I think his accent is dog shit. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Nish is not an accent, man. No, no. No. No. It's five points for Nish, four points for Mark,

three points for Aisling, two points for Sally, and one point for Bob. A very unusual one point for Bob. Hello! I'm the coconut business man. I'm to do another day of lovely business. What's that?

Is that the face of a man who's not going to come last for once? He's a businessman from the southern states of America, Greg! Another day of lovely business, wearing my tie made of English money! Now, this task three... Yeah. There's three parts to this task. They can be completed in any order and there's a jelly a twiglet and a weetabix in front of them part one standing behind this rope throw one of the items into the bucket you may retrieve the item if it misses but you must stand behind the

rope on every throw you may not move the rope or the bucket part two eat one item part three balance one item on top of the red pole the item must remain balanced until the entire task is love this task absolutely loved it it's so good peak taskmaster do you know what I mean it's really so strong

I mean this series in terms of like memorable tasks is pretty high up there um this is just this is great because there's two ways you can really do it you can try and complete the first task as soon as you open it or you can open all of them work out the best order to do it the first two i watched i presumed in my head that you weren't you had to do it because i was like well well, even though, you know, because you're only half listening when you listen to the rules, right?

And so I presumed one of the rules must be that you open them one at a time. Because otherwise, you'd be fucking insane not to open all three at the start. Yes, yeah, totally. Is that a fair summation? I think that is fair. Yes, yeah, totally. Is that a fair summation? I think that is fair.

But also I think what you did there by assuming one of the rules was you had to complete one before you open the next one. I think people would almost write that rule in their head while they were doing it as well. So it's one of those ones where you just need to read everything and almost read what's not there as well. It's like jazz. It's about the rules that aren't there. Say you'd opened all three. How would you have split it? It's a good,

I mean, I think you're mad to eat the Weetabix. Yeah, I think so. I think you've got to eat the Twiglet, really. It's the Twiglet or jelly. Yeah,

I mean, I think you've got to throw the Weetabix. Yeah, I think you've got to throw, you throw the We i think yeah i think you've got to throw you throw the wheat a bit or the twiglet i think throwing the jelly would be mad yeah yeah totally i it i i probably couldn't eat the jelly because of the gelatin is that would that be an issue i think they'd probably sort that out beforehand yeah it'd be a vegan jelly yeah it'd be a vegan jelly but then I think you just eat the twiglet I think you've got to get the twiglet down

throw the Weetabix jelly on the pole personally I'd go I'd eat twiglet, jelly on the pole Weetabix in the bin I think that's the way to go I think I'd have eaten jelly twiglet on the pole because I wouldn't have been confident about putting the jelly on top of the pole.

Yeah. I mean, you're probably right to not be confident in that because that happened. It did not look good. But if you do it last, it's fine. So, look, Nish obviously turned up looking very cool. I still talk to him about this. He did look so, so fit with his sunglasses on.

Oh, man, it looked too hot for me. Yeah. It looked too hot. And there were a lot of people watching. Apparently people genuinely gathered around to watch this happen. Oh my gosh. God knows what they thought was going on. Yes, well, Nish was disqualified from this

because he didn't get an entire item into the bucket. This is one of the pitfalls of trying to throw the Weetabix. Because if you dash it against the side of the bucket You've basically got about 10 attempts before the Weetabix is unthrowable. Yeah, and you've either got to get it bang in the bucket

or not touching the bucket at all. Because if you hit the bucket, that Weetabix is coming apart. Exactly. And Nish crushes quite a lot of it with his hand because he's frustrated. Yes, that's, I mean that's thick. Yes, just thick. It's thick stuff from Nish crushes quite a lot of it with his hand because he's frustrated. Yes. I mean, that's thick. Yes, just thick.

It's thick stuff from Nish. I almost suspect he knew it was going badly, so he thought, let's have a bit of fun and just really take it through the floor. Yeah. Which, if you're Nish, you've got to do now and again. Aisling eats the Weetabix so quickly. She's not read any of the other tasks. She eats the Weetabix before she's finished reading the task.

Astonishing. It's such a mad decision. Such a weird decision. I don't know if I could eat a Weetabix. No, I couldn't eat a dry... Well, I'd give it a go, but... It would just be disgusting and difficult. Yeah, really foul.

On a hot day. Yeah. A dry Weetab And on a hot day. Yeah. Dry Weetabix on a hot day, the worst combination. But look, she completes the task, to be fair to her, and that jelly sliding down the pole, I think about that a lot. Yeah. That's an iconic moment, isn't it?

It's a beautiful image. Yeah. It's really well shot, that bit as well. Like, it's a really nicely framed image. It's, um, you know, hats off to Andy Devonshire on that.

Hats, hats off to Andy D. And it's that unsaid thing between Aisling and Alex that they know they're just going to watch it slide all the way down the pole in absolute silence. Yes. Like very, very, very sad strip club. Um,

two points for Aisling though, sadly. Mark, obviously watching Mark throw something. Yes. I don't know. It's so funny. I don't know what's so funny about Mark throwing things. It's like he's never opened a briefcase and he's never thrown anything.

Yeah. I mean, he's such a nerd, isn't he? Apparently he's pretty good at football. Is he? I think so yeah please you know he's felt isn't he like he's live he's live yeah i'm like he's physical as a performer yeah totally but yeah he's just he's he not coordinated, is he? That's the thing. No, and it is a joy to watch. But he still bags the three points here.

He does everything that he needs to do. Yeah. And this is what someone messaged me last week, being like, you're being really mean about Mark every week. You forget he came second in the series. You're like, well, how did he do that? Based on the performance of those three

episodes it's absolutely incredible that he managed that but he really throws himself into everything and he goes that extra mile which is really important i think yeah uh bob uh four points for bob just again nothing more impressive in the world than someone getting a throwing thing right first time it's so good it's like that football thing again, isn't it? Bob's like Gary Lineker, isn't he, Josh? He is, yes. In many ways, in that he's a nation's sweetheart as well. Yeah.

Yeah. Gary Lineker, of course, that's a very good analogy because he's a poacher who would just only take one shot to score a goal, Gary Lineker. Oh, really? So you've actually somehow unknowingly stumbled on the perfect analogy. I know my stuff. Yeah, very cool from Bob to get the Weetabix in straight away,

but really takes a long time getting on that table. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that is a man who's had a heart attack though do you know what i mean i can't imagine how worried alex was when bob was yeah trying to get onto that table yeah exactly um does like was you know like everyone moves the table to get to the top of the pole yeah were they expecting that to be a bit of the task that people weren't gonna think to use the table do you know i guess so but mark doesn't use the table because mark's tall enough to pop the jelly on oh right okay yeah yeah fine fine fair enough yeah so bob has bob and sally have to use the table i think um right yeah yeah so it's tricky but i

guess maybe they thought someone would ask alex to lift them up or you know yeah yeah there's many different ways of doing it um but yeah getting the weeter picks in straight away and then but that's that's when the being unharried is that that's the word you used um yeah from from bob takes its toll when he has to do something like get on a table quickly he's just yes do it is he no of course um whereas sally i mean this this is one of the coolest things i've ever seen i couldn't believe it it's all or nothing throwing a jelly oh eats the twiglet weetabix on the pole jelly in first time bang so cool also what an order to do it in yeah because because the gamble is the last one yeah once you've eaten the twiglet you've eaten the twiglet i mean i suppose once you've thrown the jelly you can't then decide to eat it that would

be a low moment when you're eating a uh a jelly that's covered in sand next to a bin and there's definitely a world where nish would have eaten a sandy jelly yeah um but so cool from sally just yeah incredible highlight of the episode in many ways that jelly throw so five points for Sally four points for Bob three points for Mark two points for Aisling

and nought points for Nick disqualified for crushing a Weetabix in his hand that was iconic you can feel the tension in the room she can't throw the jelly. Absolutely incredible performance from Phillips. Do you want me to tell you her time? The mother of three, it looked like breakfast in a little bit.

I've got three children and that's pretty much how we feed them. Her time, she was half the time of anyone else. Two minutes and one second. Whoa! Live task, play table tennis with words. When the table tennis ball is within striking distance, you must say a word while pretending to hit the ball with your bat.

The word must begin with the last letter of the previous word. If you fail to say a word within the time, it would take you to hit the tennis ball. You are out. After saying your word, you must run to the back of the opposite queue as the task progresses. Alex will serve the first word to the youngest

contestant. Last player standing wins. I would have absolutely melted at this. I'd have hated it. Also, when he read out the rules, I thought, I have no clue what any of that means. I mean, essentially

it's just a card game. Once once they've shown it i was like i understand what's going on now yeah but i that that was not the kind of talk i mean i was shit at the in the um the live tasks that was i don't think i ever won one yeah they're stressful they are stressful especially things like this where the audience is watching you. You've got to come up with a word. You could see the stress because there's a lot of words out there and quite a lot of people were repeating stuff. It's amazing how the human brain works.

I mean, I thought played into Nish's hands. He's very smart. He's got a lot of vocab. I mean, only Nish could be eliminated from a game for saying ecclesiastical twice. I mean, yeah, it's a real window into the soul, isn't it? What words you choose here. Like a psychoanalyst would have an absolute field day

with what it says about the different people. Yeah, I'd say dog, then cow, and then I'd be out, basically. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, whereas Nish has ecclesiastical and robot! Which was the highlight Nish versus Aisling in the final was a treat I like the way they face off against each other

but it's a really it's a fun one but I wouldn't have liked to have played it myself no it wouldn't have been it wouldn't have been my scene my skill set it wouldn't have been my scene, my skill set. It would have got into my head too much. Well, let's have a quick blast of it now to see how in your head it gets you. So if I start off with Taskmaster.

Robot. Tea Time. Egg. Great. Terminator. Rewind. David. Dick.

Kevin. Now I'm just getting into names. Nigel. Yeah, I think what we can take from that, Josh, is we'd both be out immediately. Yeah, really bad. Yeah. And the fact that the we can take from that, Josh, is we'd both be out immediately. Yeah, really bad. Yeah. And the fact that the first two things I chose were robot,

because that's already been said, and egg, which was an anecdote I'd already told. So the first two words were things that were already in my head. Yeah, I think that's proved everything we need to know. So the final scores of this episode Bob out on top with 17 points Sally with 16 points Mark with 15 Aisling with 13 and of course Nish down at the bottom with 12 points the series scores so far Bob and Mark joint I don't know how Mark is getting so many points 51 points Sally very close behind on 50 Nish on 44 and Aisling Bottom

on 43 very interesting that Nish was ever not Bottom yeah it's early on though isn't it what is there 8

in this series or 10 yeah there's 8 so there's another 5 episodes so there's plenty more time for Nish to pop himself onto the bottom there

Josh you're a busy boy at the moment. We'll have a quick chat about some of the things that you're up to before we say goodbye. That's very nice of you, Ed. You're still on tour? I'm on tour forever. Yes. Seemingly.

Because there's just the fear that surely, surely not, they're not going to stop me doing it again, are they? I think they might, man. Oh, God, don't. I think this tour might be going on until 2025. It's just a hunch. And can I just be very clear? That isn't due to unbelievable demand

it's not like you know like when kevin bridges did that first tour or whatever and it just goes on and on and on and on and on because more people want to see him it's simply because of a global pandemic means i could i just keep having to reschedule middlesbrough but if you go to joshwiddicombe.com not you Josh, don't you do that. People listening, you can find some tickets for Josh's tour but do bear in mind if you book it now

you might not be seeing it for the next sort of six years or so. Yeah, it will happen one day. Yeah, it will happen. Think of it like buying a bottle of wine and sort of laying it down in a cellar. Exactly. And could I just be very clear, due to the lack of topical nature of my stand-up,

it is still the same show. Great. Good to know. Yeah. You've got a book out as well. Got a book out. Watch your neighbors twice a day. Yeah.

Have I told you about the book versus Taskmaster book debacle? No. So it came out the same week as the Taskmaster book. Amazing. And on the day that the sales came out in the first week, I'd missed out on the top 10 by 50 copies or something like that. Oh, my God. And then the next morning, I got a call from my editor,

and I'd been, actually, i was in the top 10 he'd got it wrong because taskmaster had been categorized as a puzzle book so wasn't eligible for the top 10 and had been removed from the top 10 there's no better victory than a technique than a technicality exactly exactly sunday times bestseller on a technicality yeah and you we all know that was your agent calling up the charts people and going i think you'll find taskmaster is a puzzle book um uh and you have a tv show starting on tonight it's this comes out on thursday the 16th doesn't it? It does. So it starts tonight, one night in with Alex Brooker. So this is a show where you and Alex go somewhere and spend the night there.

But it's not like just going to a hotel, right? No. So the first one, we got the run of Alton Towers for the whole of the night to do whatever we wanted with it. I mean, that's a dream. I don't know if it's your dream. No. Well, you've been to a theme

park with me but yes well to be honest we had the run of that because no one was there yeah they built an indoor the world's biggest indoor theme park in dubai and no one goes to it it was literally just yeah me josh lloyd langford maizey adam and uh and will briggs yeah well that basically me and alex had the run of alton towers with roisin conaty amazing uh for the night and um i'd say it was i did all the roller coasters head well done yeah thank you very much and um it was genuinely one of the best experiences of my life we also did london zoo uh lego land did you see the pigs the pigs at london zoo we did we did see the pigs you've got to go and visit the pigs i feel so sorry for those guys yeah i know they're never gonna get

nominated for the perrier and uh the natural history museum with ashling of this parish oh wow that's that sounds brilliant so that starts that starts tonight on channel four go and check that out. 9pm. A lot of fun. Let's rate the podcast now. Josh, of course, I will ask you to rate your experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points, or as it's otherwise known, between Nish and Bob. How would you like to rate it? I've enjoyed myself. I've thoroughly enjoyed myself. I'm quite hungover, so I was quite fragile going into it.

But I've had a lovely time, and it's got me, and this is highly important when hungover, an hour closer to bedtime. Yeah. So I'm going to call it four. That's how we see ourselves on the Taskmaster podcast. We're just sort of ebbing away time until people can sleep again. That's what podcasts are at.

Yeah. I was going to mention you were hungover at the top, but I thought let him just, let's watch him play his own game. And you know what? You've smashed it, mate. I'm giving you five, personally. I don't normally rate the guest. Well done, Josh. Thank you very much for

coming on the show. We'll drag you back on again sometime soon. Goodbye. Yes. When I'll be promoting the tour in 2023. There we go. Wonderful episode with Josh there. thanks very much for coming back on we'll twist his arm and get him back on again in the future thanks very much for listening don't forget that next week's guest is lou sanders we'll be talking about episode four of series five so get your questions into taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com and watch taskmaster on all four and we will see you

next week on the toast master podcast bye hi it's terry o'reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly

regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative.