Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 61. New Year's Treat

Episode Date: January 1, 2022

This week the podcast takes a short break from Series 5 and instead takes a look at the second ever Taskmaster Festive Special. Ed is joined by the winner of the show and they discuss the joys and challenges of TM as well as what it was like to be joined by the 4 other celebs competing.Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.comVisit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmasterGet in touch with Ed and future guests: [e-mail] the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Go to bombas.com slash Acast and use code Acast for 20% off your first purchase. Hello and Happy New Year from the Taskmaster podcast. It's time for the New Year's treat. Rapidly becoming a wonderful tradition, I say rapidly. It was one last year, there's one this year. It can't rapidly become a tradition because it is fixed as an annual thing, but long way to continue. Another fantastic lineup for this year's New Year's treat. I hope you all enjoyed it. Of course, if you haven't seen it yet, do not listen to the podcast, go and watch it first on all four, but I'm sure you've seen it. You know that by now. We are going to chat through the episode, TASK, and chat about what went on. How it went. Break it down. We are very lucky to be joined this episode

by one of the contestants on the New Year's Street, the spoiler warning coming. Winner of the episode, Adrian Childs, yes, Adrian Childs, wonderful broadcaster, journalist, radio host, he's many things, he's also brilliant fun, and I hope you enjoy this episode. Very, very much looking forwards to chatting to Adrian

This of course is a special week. We didn't have an episode on Thursday because we've got this episode today But we do have another episode next week. We're back talking about series five and we're on series five episode five with Mark Watson next week already recorded it. You can't email, but do send your questions in about all things Taskmaster specifically Series 5, if you can, to taskmasterpodcastatgmail.com. But enough of that admin. Now, let's chat about the Taskmaster New Year's Treats with Adrian Chiles. Welcome Adrian to the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you very much indeed. I'm not sure what I'm letting myself in for here, but then again, that's appropriate because I had no idea

what I was letting myself in for with the program. Well, this is very gentle. You don't need to worry about what you're letting yourself in for here. We're not going to make you do anything. We're not going to make you pop an egg in your mouth. We're not going to do any of that sort of thing Adrian, but yeah, of course, accepting to us must, you never really know what's going to happen. Were you excited to be asked to be on the show though? Well, I kind of was, and I wasn't in the sense that I didn't know much about. I had a dim idea of what it was about, so I knew it was doing really well, and I used to work with Alex's wife.

Oh, right. and I used to work with Alex's wife. Oh right. Because it's program I used to do. But that was more or less the extent of my knowledge. I think you're the first taskmaster contest that we've spoken to who accepted the show based on working with Alex's wife. Yes.

You know, I didn't, it was, it was actually a blank sheet of paper because I looked, obviously, I looked to the couple of episodes and I was sort of a mixture of sort of puzzled and fearful having, having watched them. So I just, I just let it, you know, I just thought, well, what will be, what will be will be? I'm just going to worry myself here. I can't, you know, I can't do the homework now and watch every program. I'll just try and listen carefully and do what's there, putting it in front of me. I also did the Strictly Christmas Special this year against my better judgment. And there's a slight analogy with that. It was, the one of the few advantages I had doing strictly was

I never danced before. I totally never ballroomed danced ever. Yeah. So I had no bad habits to one learn. I wasn't on the way, you peony body. It was just desperation stuff. Get through it. Just get your head done again. To learn a dance from absolute scratch, you know, for the best. No, that's quite liberating. So it was quite, you know, it was quite liberating to coming to Taskmaster. It was not like I'd been brought into a, like a, I don't know, a radio broadcaster of the year, standoff where we were competing with each other,

something I'm supposed to be competent at. I could just, just, you know, let me what would be. Because it, yeah, it actually surprises me to hear that you'd not really seen much Tarsmuss or you didn't really know what to expect from the show because you, you have such a good episode and you, you have the air of someone in the episode who sort of knows what they're doing or how to approach Tarsmuss in the, in the right direction. Well, what I saw was when I did look at it, was people being given totally random weird tasks.

And I thought, well, I mean, there must be more to it than that. But actually, when I got there, the god of isn't. No. So, you know, I am given to overthinking things. And I didn't give myself the chance to overthink, because actually overthinking would have been fatal. You know, so just had to, you know, just had to step in and hope and hope for the best, as I said.

Well, yeah, that's it. I think the best performance is quite often of the people who get given the task and then just the first thing that pops into their head, they just get on with it and do it. And that's, I think that's always, always a good thing to do. Your friends with Frank Skinner, aren't you? I mean, he did the first, the first ever series of it. Did you ask him for any tips or anything? Actually, I didn't. I didn't speak to him until after I've done it, but he's, I said, I said about Taskmaster, I said, that's a funny

obviously saying it. And he said, yeah, it's like, it's like an expression of what goes on in Alex Horn's head. And I thought, well, there's something in that. But I mean, I'd say I just loved it. It was absolutely the most blameless bit of fun. It was just utterly thought of blameless. It was just, you know, what was, you know, what was not to like, it was just fun. No one's had to get here. You know, what was not to like it was just fun. No one's had to get here. There's no real right or wrong answer. But something very sort of British about it, if you like, to say an old-fashioned thing.

There was a very sort of British humor, it was sort of eccentric sort of zany, deadpan and just sort of very odd. And I was interested to find out that it's, you out that it's shown in so many territories around the world because I would have thought that you have to be British to sort of get it, but you know, so I think it's a very proud export in the post-Brexit world. about the episode, Adrian, let's just get stuck into this. We had the prize task, first of all, which was the most beguiling, unwieldy shining thing. Now, of course, you get given this in advance, you get told you need to bring in the most beguiling unwieldy shiny thing.

How long did you spend thinking about what to bring in, or was it a very last minute decision? No, no, it was about 30 or 40 seconds thing. Because soon as I think shiny, I think about descaling, because I like to make things shine. I've begun over, it's just a, it's just a thing for mental health really. I love doing things, which, you know,

are simple things you can be absorbed in. Yeah. Where you can impose order on a shattered, fragmented, internal, psychological world and the external, you know, chaotic world. So I mean, to take another example, I've got heavily into ironing, particularly ironing simple things like a, you know, to take another example, I've got heavily into I.N.I. Particularly I.N.I. Simple things like a scrunched up tea towel, where it's all wrinkled and it comes out, but with a hot iron,

you just impose order on it and fold it neatly, it feels beautiful. It's really beautiful. Yeah. And it's the same with D scaling. You can, you know, you can find heavily descaled kettle, for example. And I'm not very practical, but then I can make that gleam. I can make it new again. And I find it deeply satisfying.

I think a lot of people would agree that, especially during something like a global pandemic, so much stuff that we can't control going on outside. The only thing to really do is reduce it down to the smallest thing that we can definitely be the master of. Yeah. Exactly, and I'll miss that since lockdown, although we look a lot back in one, but in the days of hard lockdown. I mean in a way and like you know you say lockdown was a middle class luxury you know there were those who could afford not to not to work but I mean I could carry on working and do you know most of it from home but you know I can't miss those days when life was simpler

I and in descaling and so on. How often were you de-scaling during lockdown? I mean, you say you de-scaled multiple t-earns, but where were you laying your hands on these derns, Adrian? Well, I've only ever done one urn before. Yeah. That was a show I used to present. And I used to, it was a kettle in my dressing room at the River Stride Studios in Hammersmith,

which was very scaled up. And the shower in the dressing room was also very scaled up. So the following day, I came in and I came in with my D-scaler, and I'd be scaled the shower head in the kettle at the same time. And it was fizzing away and the producer came in, Joe Bonte, and she looked at the thing and said,

what's going on there? What your up to? I said, I'm descading. You think you're what? So then they started just to amuse. We started bringing in all the kettles and the establishments. The one in the production office was particularly scales. That was a particular job.

But then for the When we wrapped the series she brought me the greatest gift ever which was this heavily Heavily scaled earn and ten bottles of D scale and I just had a lovely Saturday night in I'm not making this up Fizzed I I tell you, oh, beautiful. No, I thought, well, this is my chance to really do that. I mean, the other, though, much as I say, about lockdown, the problem is that for me is that, I mean, actually, I live in quite a soft water area, which is dismaying.

But, you know, it's no good for a for a for a de-scaling, for sweetheart, I like myself. The other thing, I'm going to ketox and some, I've been in my flat for 10 years. And there's no, there's not a kettle in there because it's one of those fancy hot water taps. Oh, right. Yeah. Do they not get scaled up inside? No, well, I don't know. That's interesting. Next time there's somebody competent round I'm going to see if they can disconnect it so I mean it's going to be pretty impressive in there. But mother-in-law lives in York and

had a scale problem and I was up there last time. They took this very hard water area indeed. I mean, just use the kettle for a week and it scaled up. So I've absolutely went to town on a tap. It is. That was a shower hose, the kettle, everything. Most fun of adding ages. Would you consider moving to a harder water area later on life? Yeah, I'm looking for a map actually. I mean, I can't, yeah, I mean, I do, I'm not moving to Yorkshire because the way they banged on about Yorkshire being the greatest place ever. I always find it a bit annoying, like Manx of the say, my manchips as the best place ever.

Bromance never do it like me. We never say, yeah, I'm Birmingham great. But I've just done a forward for a book called Birmingham, it's not shit. It's the most, Bromance, ever say about ourselves that we're not shit. But anyway, you know, obviously Yorkshire, oh, yeah, we've got God's own hard water, you know, we've got the hardest water. No, I'm not going there, but whoever else has got hard water, I'll have to do some

research, find out where it is. I could just live out my days there in a bare room and a kettle. I think you must be the only, probably the only presenter ever to be in a TV studio and get on with cleaning rather than just kicking up a first. Yeah, I was, yeah, I was ready to get a towel. When we recorded the show that I thought, you know, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got my eye, I've always got Scalings and even more extreme version of that people go, thank you so much. That's fantastic. I think And you know, I've given up say I'll get simple down to silly. I'll go yeah, yeah, don't try yourself. Yeah Call me call me Well, it was a good it was a good prize because it had that wonderful story to back it up with as Greg said I think it was your your silver tongue that very much helps that prize get three points

But the other prizes we had, Claudia Winkham and didn't cover herself in glory. I mean, this whole episode, this was a disastrous episode for Claude. She brought in a massive fountain. I feel like she probably spent less time thinking about this than you did, Adrian. It was just a big fountain. But, you know, when I saw, I wasn't impressed. I wasn't impressed when she mentioned it, but they should show the picture of it. But the mistake and the production team made, and I say this with great regret,

because I don't like the criticising, because they are brilliant. But it needs some scale next to it. It should have had, I don't know, what's a good reference point for a, what's a good reference point for a, what's a good reference point for scale? Let's say if they put a bottle of wine next to it, then you would have seen the scale because looking at the photo of it that we showed,

it looked to me like it was about four foot high. But it was magnificent. Yeah, it was a big old fountain, but I think you might be right because they put a duck in there, but then had magnificent. Yeah, it was a big old fountain, but I think you might be right, because they put a duck in there, but then had to say that the duck was quite big. Yeah. And by the time you get to that, it's just, it's gone.

Any, any surprise or excitement has gone. But also, I wanted to hear her talk it up a bit. I think she was, she was in barris fights as she didn't, she didn't really go for it. And when, as we all know, and Claudia won't come and really gets going, she can talk the birds out of the trees. Baroness Baraness, Baroness Vassie brought in the Vassuvius firebrocked Christmas tree. Certainly, shiny, certainly unwieldy, not sure it's hugely beguiling. And she made the mistake of it never really works with Greg, I think trying to pull at the heartstrings too much, trying to go for the emotional story doesn't fall for that sort of. But it was sort of darker than that. She was bringing in all sorts of issues concerning

ethnicity, religion, identity, belonging. I'm an I admired it. Sinek, Sinek, you would stop in an absolutely nothing. But the thing is Greg used to be a teacher. So if anyone comes in with a story prepared like that, I think he's sort of he's trained to ignore it. So it was only two points for that. Now we've got to talk about this. Johnny Peacock wasn't in the studio. What a shame. Yeah. Now that, you know, that was a shame.

I was, I've interviewed him. I've never met him face to face. I was looking forward, I was looking forward to meeting him. But you know, Alan Davis, you know, I mean, if he was my sort of body double, I'd be, I'd be, you know, greatly, I'd be greatly impressed to the great for it. So we didn't do a bad job.

But I'm going to see in Johnny sometime and swapping notes with. Well, exactly. Yeah, because he actually had, he did pretty well in this episode. Yeah. He had some good stuff. And this prize task, I think, I mean, he brought in the copper pedal that was part of the Olympic flame in 2012, beguiling unwieldy and shiny. Surely for me, Adrian, anyway, that was the five points.

I don't, I didn't think you could get better than that. A bit root one, wasn't it? Do you think it was root one? A bit root one. A lot of understanding, Judger. I can only assume, you know, it was just, yeah, a bit root one, just thought, well, I've got that. Can you, I mean, I then why, why I didn't want you to use metal. That's not on wieldy, that's not a wieldy though, a metal is a very wieldy. You pop them around your neck, you're good to go. Yes that's true. I mean maybe some item of equipment or something would have done it but yeah it was a bit sort of showy offy really

I suppose that. I don't know, I don't know, I might have worn it at top marks. I'm just trying to, you know, much of inside, you know, much of what's inside Alex's head is a worry, what's inside Greg's is a worry too. So, you know, I'm just trying to, you know, sort of breaststroke my way into his, the cause of his inner consciousness. I don't think you want to paddle around in there for too long. Um, so it was the four points that it was still good. Uh, and Lady Leisha brought in her mobile for best female act,

very baguiling, yes, very shiny. I don't think this is unwieldy Adrian. I think Greg had forgotten about the proper, the proper categories that these prizes needed to be by the time he gave out the points He got stars struck I think I think he got star struck by a That moment. Yes. Yeah, exactly and I'm a huge fan of Lady Lisa. I just want to put it out there now big fan of her Queen speeches if you go and watch those videos, they're fantastic little sort of rap videos that she released a week on week, which is excellent. And what I love, we won them by the way.

I think it was great to have two brums on. I mean, she was great fun. Yeah, she seems like a lot of fun. We're gonna talk a lot more about her in this next task because this made me laugh a lot. So it was one point for Claudia's prize, then two points for Baroness Vassie, three points for you, Adrian, four points

for Johnny Peacock, Slash Island Davis, and five points for Lady Leisha. Saida, can you beat a mobile ward? So I have bought in as part of my therapy. I grew up in a really small home, and my parents were first-generation migrants, and they hadn't quite dealt with the issue of integration. So we never got Christmas.

And I felt that Santa Claus never came to our house because we didn't do Christmas, and we didn't have a chimney for him to come down. So what I wanted to do was to make my Christmas dreams come true, so I have bought the shiniest, most unwielding, beguiling Christmas tree. Yes, here is the Vesuvius Fiber optic Fur Christmas tree. LAUGHTER Oh!

Now, that is, I think, about seven foot high, and it is beguiling because it introduces me to a world that I never had when I was a young child. Oh! It's a powerful narrative. Shame about this tattoo. LAUGHTER I never had one I was a young child. Oh! It's a powerful narrative. Shame about this tattoo. LAUGHTER

A solid start from you, Adrian. Because... And a solid start that you didn't even need because you're about to go on and absolutely rinse this competition. Right? You got five points for every single pre-recorded task.

Well, I'm not sure that's happened before. Look, I just blundering in because I didn't really know what I was doing. I tried to keep it as simple as possible. So there's a, you know, that was my kind of approach. It seemed to me you could overcomplicate it. There's an infinite amount of bits and bobs and stuff in that shed knocking around. You could just confuse yourself. So, I sort of said to myself, what's the least possible time and effort I can put into each of these? There's a few moving parts

as possible. And just try and get through it. Well, you certainly did that and even more. Let's talk about task one then. Put the egg in the egg cup in the most daring way. If the egg breaks, you'll disqualify, you have 30 minutes, your time starts now. Now, with a lot of taskmaster tasks, of course, this comes down to the way that you define

a certain word and daring is the key word here. Let's talk about you straight away, Adrian. I don't think I've ever been more surprised. Well, I mean, get the, I see the word daring again. I mean, it's a bit rude, one really. I just want to watch the most obvious thing I can do. I mean, I can stand bit rude, one really. I just thought, what's the most obvious thing I can do? I mean, I can stand on my head or try and bloody app sail down the side of the building or something.

But I was just saying my trousers off. You just seem the easiest way of being dairy. I didn't know I could do it with that boxer shorts either. But they, I did say boxers on or off. And Alex went on, I think, to dairy. That was too dairy for them. Oh, you know, I think. Two daring. That was two daring for them. Oh, you know, I was already getting competitive. So if I need to get my little frozen winkle out, then I would have done that as well.

But yeah, boxes. So in what, so was the daring you were thinking of there because you were crawling on your knees on the concrete? It was about, it was daring to appear just in my boxes. So that was one thing. Yeah. And then I sort of added a bit of jeopardy. Obviously, look, I couldn't just stand there in my boxes and pick the egg up and put it in the egg cup. You've got to sort of gild the lily a bit.

Yeah. So yeah, so I just thought I'd crawl. Importantly, I thought I'd crawl. I realized when the egg was in my mouth, as I said, that I could have crawled on, on my hands and my feet, and not brought my knees into it. But I thought, you know, I just bit a jeopardy, bit a daring, I owe it to really press my unprotected knees into that harsh, harsh concrete.

Really hurt quite a bit. No, it looks like it would have done. It's got to say, Adrian, cracking set of pins on you. Thank you very much indeed. I mean, I don't get them out very often. The funny, I went to a stretching class once. And I always remember, there was a woman a woman because I mean I'm incredibly stiff yes and I think you're getting old the important thing is not to be stiff that's the main thing you just flex ability any item is stretching class

and I was there in my shorts and the woman said you know she didn't know we did it for about 20 minutes she said you know the irony with you is that you got these magnificent legs, they're absolutely useless. I mean, they look good. They look good, but they're just useless. You know, get them stretching. So I've sort of slightly focused on stretching since. But they're still essentially you. They're showing pony legs. They're for show. Yeah, you can run in the grand national. But the definition is there, I think it comes from actually, I broke my leg playing football and got 30 years ago, terribinely, and I was in plaster for nearly a year.

So then my, so that meant that my, my right leg then became very muscular when the leg, the left one was broken because it was doing, you know, obviously doing all the lifting and then with rehab, I then had to do a load of work to get my left one, the same size of my right one because it looked ridiculous like a cocktail stick. So I don't know, I'm possibly, it's possibly reaping the benefits of that. So it was, it was onto the floor in your boxes and then crawl on the floor with the egg in your mouth. Quite a thing to watch when you're just sort of silently watching this happen. It was like something from a sort of Cold War art film. Yeah.

Well, I'm available for hire if anyone wants to make, anyone wants to make anything like that. I'm going to surprise how well it went. I mean, it looked harder than it was. It's not difficult to pick an egg up. No, but it is daring in the presentation of it as well, I think, other than even if the thing itself is not daring or difficult, the actual presentation of it. Because you're saying you didn't really, you tried not to think about it, you tried not to overcomplicate it, you just went for what came

into your head. I think that's what's good about Taskmaster is we really got a little insight into what's at the front of your brain at any given moment. Yes, that's right, yeah. I didn't need all the half an hour. Actually, nobody checked. I never checked that I know, I know the Baroness went off to boil the egg, but I'm assuming it was on cooked, was it the egg? Yes, it was on cooked. Did you not know that when you were popping it in your mouth? I assumed it was, and I thought, hang on a bit, I should have checked. But you know, it didn't bother me either way.

I believe it was on cooked. Let's talk about the Baroness, because she got the four points. I really liked this. What I really liked about it is she dressed in such a way that suggested she was going to do a lot of crazy daring, different things and then did not use those things at all. The roller skates, the blindfold that didn't work at all.

And then she just sat there with a hoover. That's true. Although, I mean, even with, even having boiled the egg, it was still a big call to use the Hoover. I wouldn't have trusted the, because the suckage of it, then, you know, it's got to be a perfect seal as well to hold the egg.

Yeah, yeah. You seem to pull that off, but yes, it didn't occur to me, yes, we've got in all that daring ghetto, without doing anything daring in it, but perhaps, you know, the daringness of the get up was enough. Yeah, I mean, it's that, it's that thing of that old story that rolls around exam halls when you come to do your exams that, that one year a kid in the school got, got a title

for an essay, which is what is bravery, you had to write an essay about what is bravery in your throat. This is bravery and then he walked out with the example. It's that sort of thing. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I've got to be apocryphal surely, but 100%. I mean, the one I heard, which is almost certainly apocryphal, was when I was at school and somebody apparently had done an oxbreach interview And only when he and the professor or whoever it was was reading a paper and he just looked over the top of the paper and said, surprise me. And the kid just got his lighter out and set fire to his newspaper. Whether it's true, but I doubt if it's true. If it is, I don't know what the outcome

was, but no, it's probably arrested. But in these apocryphal stories, he would have got in and then he gave him an offer right there on the spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or maybe just awarding him a degree. Yeah. So Lady Leisha makes this again, similar to yours, the fact that she came up with it so quickly just so you know about her. Well, you can see how it happens really quickly just quick. I mean, it's interesting. It's like it's like with a work in a lot of word association, word association, isn't it? When she does, you know, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, know, egg, it's like salmon, it's like salmon, like, does it look like salmon, goat, goat,

salmon. Yeah. Good. It was, I mean, she was great. I liked it particularly when she ran around that sort of pedestal and said,

well, I'm a fairy. She was just trying things out. She said, imagine if I fell in that puddle. It was so funny. I mean, she is obsessed with salmon. That is something that I knew already,

because when she was on celebrity master's shift, she told Greg Wallace that she ate salmon three to four times a day. Right, okay. Yeah, well, so it's at the forefront of her mind anyway. At all times, yeah. Why wouldn't she use it? And it was kind of ridiculous to have it there, played no role, but then just the way she

incorporated it and then so dexterously caught the egg. I thought that's off to it respect. Yeah, yeah, I enjoyed it respect her. Claudia, I don't know what she was thinking here, so she balanced the egg. I think she might have been overthinking this. She balanced the egg cup on the couch, then throws the egg as if she was trying to throw it into the egg cup. It lands on the grass and she celebrates like she's got it straight into the cup. Yes. I can say other logic took her there because I mean, it's quite daring to

throw the egg and it not smash. I mean, that's a death or glory to a moment. If you believe that there's enough glory and not smashing it to win you the thing. Yeah. I mean, if it smashes, it's all over for it, instant disqualification. But he threw it onto the grass. She threw it onto the grass, which means that it was, it was never going to smash. I don't know. Sure. I'm not sure. Did she throw it over the cow? I forgot. She threw it over the cow, yes. Oh, you throw an egg and on cook day, go over the cow, 10 times, nine times, it'll break. Okay, so you'll say she was pretty daring. Yeah, yeah. I already wrote daring. I mean, you needed one more idea in it, didn't it? Yeah.

I wasn't quite sure about it. I mean, it was about expectation because once you'd seen, Because once you'd seen, once you'd seen the egg cup on the back of the cow, that raised the expectations, you were going to try attempt something nion impossible. So if she then, for example, took a trousers off, so the egg up in a mouth and crawled across the law. You can't even think of an alternative other than what you did. That's the only way you can do that. Then she would have won. Poor old Johnny Peacock actually creates something genuinely daring and exciting and dynamic and athletic. But unfortunately, the egg breaks on the way,

goes all the way through the tube over the flame and he still manages to get it in the cup, which I think maybe you should have deserved a bonus point for flair for. But sadly, it breaks on the way down, which was a real shame to see. Real shame, yeah. But I mean, you know, it's like sport itself, which is as well, you know, sometimes you don't get what you deserve. You just have a bad day, but a bad luck. That's what happened there. And that plan. But very exciting to watch all the same.

So sadly, not points for Johnny. Two points for Claudia throwing an egg over a cow. Lady Leach has some and Beyblade gets three points. Four points for Sayyidah's Hoover. And five points for you, Crawling Window trousers on with the Agony Mouth Adrian. Wow. And five points for you, Crawley Winnow, trousers on with the Agony Mouth Adrian. APPLAUSE Wow. First, in first, why early this year did you have to crawl under a fence?

Because I couldn't get over it. LAUGHTER You can't go over it. You can go, Andrew. The general man makes an interesting philosophical point. LAUGHTER I mean, I'm going to tell you, it's agony. I don't know. No, but I could have actually scuttled along, not on my knees.

Yes. But the spirit of the daringness and the jeopardy are really tormented my knees. I cannot wait to go camping with you. LAUGHTER I cannot wait to go camping with you. What? What? What? Over the last 10 years, Bombas has donated over 100 million socks, underwear, and t-shirts to those facing homelessness.

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now and finishes when you shout, I've drunk all the vinegar. I've got to say, Adrian, you popping the 3D glasses on just to check to see if they did anything. I'll probably go down in history. I mean, I mean, I was just disappointed myself here when on so many respects, I mean, overworked firstly, it was only when we were watching it with the audience, with the studio audience that the obvious thing to do was to just get a big vessel, pour all the liquid out of all the cups into the vessel, then just neck, what was in there? Yeah, simple. But so that I was kicking myself about that. I mean, I suppose I was thinking, well, there might be battery acid in one of them, but you know, I knew they weren't going to get

insured for that kind of thing. So, but then the pH thing dawned on me. You know, the litmus test thing. Yeah. And actually went looking for one. I look straight at it. I picked it up and put it down. And then still somehow didn't. It didn't register. I mean, it's a real worry that is. I mean, I do, you know, I've been

diagnosed with ADHD and this is the moment, you know, where you're proving, you're working, you, you know, instead of the thing, you're concentrating on that moment, you've moved on to the next thing in my mind. But you did. Exactly the same. You're strictly dancing by the way. instead of concentrating on what I was doing at that moment and what particular move, I was thinking about how I'd cocked up the previous moment and how I was going to cock up something later in the routine. And what I wasn't thinking about was what I was doing at that moment and what I had to do in the next moment, which were the only two things we're thinking about. So I mean, that was that in play.

But the fact that you saw the pH strips put them down and then picked up the 3D glasses and dipped, dipped a bit of the 3D glasses into one of the secrets. I thought that might be a bit of a secret pH strip. If in the arm of the glasses, I thought there might be some magic or somebody that might be a guy's litmus test. And the thing is, I know exactly what was going to be mine

when you put those glasses on, because you may as well try it, but you don't think ahead to the fact that people are gonna see you do that, because it's exactly the sort of thing that Alex would do would be somehow have these glasses that showed you exactly where it was. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's just a shame immediately before we meet. Yeah, but not moment, not having watched the program much. I'm thinking, well, this Alex is obviously got a, you know, a, an esoteric sort of mind. I mean, you know, who's what he's going to come up with? Yeah. I don't know whether I would have thought, I don't know whether I would have thought more or less like that. If I'd watched every single episode of Tasmasters, I'd probably, I'd probably even more convinced that he could,

there was nothing beyond it, it got to and including burning a pair of 3D glasses into a litmus test or making one out of litmus paper. Well, that sort of was very interesting. I think Johnny has watched Taskmaster before. I feel like Johnny's a fan of Taskmaster because the first thing he did after he read that task was check under the table and was looking round for clues.

That's how he spotted the 85, because he knows that that's not gonna be as simple as it looks. Whereas I think a lot of other people fell into the trap of just starting to drink them or starting to smell them, whereas he immediately knew there must be something else in the room. And he spotted the 85, which is so, so satisfying. And then what a roller coaster he went on. Yeah. He did, I mean, I'm, you know, I was gutted for him then. I mean, I've been at a

bit of bad luck in the, in the first one, then to, you know, then to be faced with knocking the thing over and all that, after we don't the clever bit, he got on the clever bit. So, you know, I mean, it just, it had not registered with me at all, the 85. And actually, reminding me, you know, there's that famous psychological experiment, you know, when they're looking at the, if you're seeing that, the basketball players people are told To watch something in a basketball match. I can't they're looking for a particular day on basketball contest And then they write down what they noticed and then at the end of it I said did you see the did you see the ape? Yeah, no, why? And then they looked again at the video and an ape had walked across the basketball court fully, you know, not fully close, well,

eight-pound fit. And they'd never spot it. It was like that. If you're just looking for the wrong thing, you can miss stuff, you can miss the bleeding obvious. And then the wrestling life there, for Tasmaster as a deeper purpose, actually, in pointing that up. And then also the deeper purpose and lesson in life is no matter how much you look for the extra stuff, eventually, you'll just fail anyway. You'll end up spilling the vinegar. Yeah, yeah. Because he spills a vinegar, but this, this was testament to him as an Olympic athlete

to spill the vinegar. A lot of us would have given up at that moment. And he was, he was no perseverance. And he went and got the straw and sucked it all off the table, which has got to be one of the lowest moments in his sporting career. And then it was apart from you and Johnny, it was no points all round. So he decided by smelling them,

which she does have an incredible sense of smell. She got elderflowers straight away and had a little sip of that, which was pretty incredible. Lady Lisha drank that, I mean, all credit to, I think I probably would have tried to do this, but perhaps with the big vessel thing that he suggested, but she starts trying to drink every shot and Alex seems genuinely worried that she could die. But she went all out and you've got to respect that. And Claudia uses the dab and taste technique, stopping to get very angry with Alex and telling him to stop speaking. I was getting pissed off with Alex at that point in the other way. I was just,

I mean, there comes a point when you have a sense of humor failure. Just, I stopped this. What am I doing in here? What's going on? What are you like? But I've got through it. Well, imagine doing a whole series there, Adrian, because you know, certainly we, when we do a whole series it's 10 episodes so you have about six days full days of filming those tasks. Yeah, I mean you hate the guy by the end of day one. Yeah, absolutely. So it was not points for Claudia, not points for Lady Elischa, not points for Sayid, four points for Johnny and the the big five points for you, Adrian, again, of course. LAUGHTER Ooh, it says that elder flower?

It is elder flower. Cuckoo, not water. LAUGHTER Is it any vinegar here? Would you label it? Is that vinegar? Can you try it? Oh, okay. Can you? Come on, then. This is fun.

That's apple cheese. Water. What's that? Do you think that? Coconut water. Brought a twist. There's no vinegar, is there? None of these are vinegar. That's the answer, none. I don't think we've got any vinegar here. My nose is pretty good, you know.

Well, you can shout, I've drunk all the vinegar whenever you want. All right, I've drunk all the vinegar. Tusk 3. Another great task. Choose a length for this pole, then guide it through the course. The person who completes the course with the longest pole wins. Every time your pole touches something other than your hands, 10 centimeters will be taken from its length. You have a maximum

of 10 minutes. Your time starts now. A remarkable task. And I'm surprised only one person went for the full pole. That was my instant instinct was just go for the full pole and just batter through and see if you can do it. Well, you know, in a rare moment of clarity, I, I, I, I went and did some sort of measurements. I thought I looked, I, I, I sort of walked the course. Really? Well, I just, I thought, what I'm on, I mean, it's physically, it's physically not going to get, you know, if I can't bend it. Yeah. It's not going to, it's not going to fit through there.

So, I went as big as I thought I could manage when I think I've basically got that right. Yeah. But I didn't do the sums about, you know, the risk reward ratio, whatever you call it, having a long, I'm in a very long pole, but hitting a lot of things, whether it was worth having a long pole, whether you're going to lose it or with your point deductions. No, I mean, you did, you obviously made the right decision because, because you won,

you only struck things four times. So you're being very, very careful. But that was good. You actually thought that one through. That's good, rather than just immediately starting. I wish I thought of the technique of just, which inadvertently, I think, Claudia did, was just leaving it dragging on the floor to the whole thing. And that would be just cat as one touch. But I would be just cat as one touch. But I guess that would count as one touch. But then if it hits it on the other end at any point,

which I'm thinking you're bound to do. And that's counting as multiple touches. I mean, we none of us should take what Claudia did as a lesson because she started it for us, 20 centimeters, struck it for two one times and ended up with a 10 centimeter pole. I mean, by now, I was hyper focused in the context. So there's Greg pointed out, he said, what are you like to bad? It was a nonchalance of thinking, he wasn't you else did well in that one? I did. Well, Johnny, so Johnny did, uh, Johnny had the 700 centimeter pole and struck 48 times. So he came, he came second, uh, by about 40 centimeters here. But I think Greg said it was just the nonchalance as if you were, you know, a professional sort of.

Yeah, poll, wheeled up. And this was a bit of a boss mentality, you know, is that I pulled long poles in an out of telephone boxes and mail boxes. A fact sometimes I'm looking for days right? Anyway, that came from. I just thought, no, no, I don't want to thought. But I think that's what Tarsamast does to you. It was this towards the end of the day. This wasn't the first task you did or anything. Yeah, so you've, you've already done some mad things. You sort of don't know what to expect. So whatever comes along feels fairly pedestrian because it's predictably weird. Yeah, I think what also helped me is that on that particular day I had like a

thousand-word article to write for the Guardian about something quite tricky. I could be quite serious and tricky. So every time I got a break I was dashing back to my dressing room to sort of try and get this finish which completely took my mind off. Yeah, that's good. What I was doing outside. And then it became a welcome break from trying to negotiate a tricky topic. Yeah, run outside and grab a big pole. Yeah, that's great.

Well, you did very well. It was a remarkable performance. Johnny did, yeah, like I say, that's what I would have done, but bear in mind he's a professional Olympic athlete, imagine how much worse I would have done. Leisha started by ramming into the door. The first thing she did was smash the pole into the door, which was an interesting technique. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I just, well, it was a bit rude one, but I don't think you could quite sort of get away with that. I think to some extent, it's about your own sort of mental fortitude and patience. I mean, you know, you have moments during the day

when you, you just get, you just go a bit low-code. I thought, let's just get this over with. Yeah. It's very silly. I'll stop caring. But then you catch yourself on straight away. A good measured performance from Baroness Vassie, I think, but just not good enough in terms of the she should have been braver with the length selection. And then I think she she probably would have

done a lot better and lucky to be placed so low. But she had a glint of steel in her eye. You know, I think she was, you know, spotted this in front of the studio audience, you know, suddenly saw why she's got to be a Baroness, you know, she was, you know, it was a sort of fight to the death type thing, you know, she even though it's all fun, you know, I was one of these people you're quite worried about beating. If you do beat them, they might lash out in some way. Yeah, but she's fine. She's a terminator.

One point to Claudia, two points to say. Three points to Lady Leisha, four points to Johnny, and five points, of course, to you, Adrian. I don't know. I don't know. And I honestly, you should both be ashamed of yourself. LAUGHTER I've got to stick out for Lady Lisa. She only struck 15 things. Oh, right.

Well, we're going to stick out for Lady Lisa, are we? Because the first thing she did is attempt to knock the front door down with the pole. LAUGHTER She tried to ram-raise that. LAUGHTER And Lady Lisa started with a 3-metre-60 pole. Yes. Touched thing 15 times. So we only knock off one meter-50.

So she ended up with a two-meter-10 pole. Whereas... Claudia started with a four-meter-20 pole, struck things 41 times. So I ended up with a 10-centimeter pole. LAUGHTER Let's move on to the live task. Choose a ball. You have 30 seconds. Turn your ball into a head. Your new head must be the head of one of your fellow contestants. Best head wins, you have 200 seconds.

I mean, the results of this were quite outstanding, I'd say. But I think there were all the balls were spherical, apart from the rugby ball. Yeah, so you had to choose the ball before you knew what the task was, though, right? Yeah, yes. Yes, exactly. So I thought, I don't know, I just thought, sorry, I'll go for the rugby balls. Yeah. There's sort of nothing you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can't, you can whether you're I was allowed to you were allowed to do yourself. I can't remember.

It said you know your new head must be the head of one of your fellow contestants. No, Ben immediately. So again, look, it was just I wouldn't overthink it. I have zero artistic skills. Yeah. Claudia is recognisable anywhere because of the severity of a fringe, the sleek blackness of a hair, of a hair arrangement generally. Yes. That's all there was a black pen. I thought there was a, you know, so I could draw that on. Yeah. I started messing around to see if I could make hair out of strips of feather. Why bother? I just caught her in with the marker pain.

No, clever dick. Who are eyes? And I put some sort of mascara on her and some, you know, I made the, yeah, the particular, these things. I lash. She's quite prominent. And then red lip stick and Bob's your uncle. And she's got a, did the nicest possible way. Got a rugby ball shake face.

Heads as well. So, Bob was my uncle. I think this, yeah, your performance in this represents your performance across the whole episode in that it shows a lot of restraint to not delve into any of the other stuff they had on there. You just, you know what you can do, you go with one. You say you cook as well, Adrian, you're similar in the kitchen.

Do you just use few ingredients, high quality ingredients? Well, yeah, I like that. I don't remember that program, I'm ready to steady cook. My talent is that kind of thing. You know, I'll just see what's in the fridge and I'll conjure something up. When I start cooking for dinner party, I can absolutely, I totally overcomplicate it, and really make things difficult for myself. Well, maybe you'll take, you'll learn something from your taskmaster performance. I certainly will. It was a wonderful, it was a wonderful Claudia Winkam and Rugby Ballface anyway.

It was great. Lady Leicis, Basketball turned into Claudia, was not great, but Alex saying that it's orange like Claudia. I mean, I don't think he's ever been, I don't think he's ever said anything so rude and edgy. No. Claudia turned her tennis ball into you, Adrian. Were you flattered by that portrait? Yeah, I mean, you know, I'm just, I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, you, anyone who troubles himself with any circumstances that do a likeness of me. I mean, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, seconds or whatever you want. On a tennis ball, yeah. Alan went with Lady Leisha, got the big eyes, got the eyelashes, very well done. And this was the crowning glory. Side turn in the blue, big blue Pilates ball into you. It was absolutely incredible. But also, but she wrote my name

on it to help the audience. She didn't need to, did she? I mean, I mean, that was holy. It was just no need. It was, was it? It was perfect. It was great. Did you consider trying to keep that afterwards? I said, I should have asked. I should have asked if I could. No, I didn't. That would have looked lovely. It would have looked lovely up in your house. Yeah. That was the five points anyway. It was four points for your Claudia Rugby ball.

It was three points for Alan, two points for Claudia and one point for Lady Leisha, which means Adrian, the final scores, you got 22 points, which let me tell you, I've talked about a lot of episodes of Taskmaster and that is an exceptional score beating Johnny Slash Allen by seven points Aaron at 15 say you got 13 lady Lee she got 12 and Claudia got six which again let me tell you is bad that is a bad score six points from five tasks is dreadful. But you know what? I think she might have got a revenge by getting me invited on just on to the strictly Christmas special.

Well, I'll show the fuck. Things is good. Let's get it. Let's get the big number in full. Ballroom dancing. We'll see you laughs. We'll see you. I would just hear. Adrian, thank you so much for coming on to the Taskmaster podcast. We always ask our guests on the podcast to rate their experience between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster. Have you had a nice time on the podcast? And if so, how would you rate it points wise?

Five. I'll give it a straight forward five. What's not to love? Nice people working on it. Nice people behind the scenes too. And nice contestants and above all, I won. And I don't win much. So I'll give it six out of five if I could or fix it. You can give it six out of five because you won. Well done, you Adrian. And thank you very much for talking to us today. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Not at all, mate. Have a good Christmas.

There we are. Thank you very much, Adrian. Happy new year to everyone out there. Hope you enjoyed that episode lovely to delve deeper into the TN stuff. I'll be honest I thought he was overselling it on the episode turns out absolutely not. Also the rating at the end there. I'm pretty sure he thought we thought he was rating the whole experience of being on Taskmaster the television show, but you know what, I'm going to take the five points anyway. When he said, oh, the whole team working on it's great. The other contestants, we don't really have other contestants on the podcast, Adrian, but thanks all the same. Thank you very much for listening to Taskmaster all of last year. Now it is.

Listen to the Taskmaster podcast. We will be with you throughout this year as well because boy, we've got a lot of episodes to get through. Hopefully this year we'll be chatting about another series, a new series, and we'll be chatting about Champion of Champions. And of course, we'll be talking about old episodes. We'll continue with Series 5. Perhaps move on to Series 6, definitely actually. It's all I have in my life.

But thanks very much for listening. See you again soon. Goodbye! I'm just trying to go to the vinegar. I've just drunk all the bastard vinegar. A Kia SUV is capable of taking you far, but when you use it locally to help your community, you can go even further. Whether that's carrying cargo, bringing your team with you, ready, or navigating your terrain. Power up your capability with the right Kia SUV. Do more with the Kia Sportage, Kia Telluride, Kia Sorrento, or Kia Saltoves.

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