Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 63. Jack Bernhardt - S5 Ep.6

Episode Date: January 13, 2022

On this week's podcast TM stat man Jack Bernhardt returns to discuss all things Series 5 and specifically episode 6. They also look at the latest stats since Morgana took the trophy and they even make some predictions for the future!Follow Jack on Twitter @jackbern23Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.comVisit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmasterGet in touch with Ed and future guests: [e-mail] the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's Ed Gamble here, the host of the Taskmaster podcast. You know by now what's going to happen. We're going to chat about an episode of Taskmaster and we're going to go through it bit by bit. And we're currently talking about series five uh there's

no news housemaster on telly uh at the moment so we've delved back into the history books and we're on series five episode six and we're going to be talking about that episode today with the wonderful jack bernhardt uh jack has been on the podcast before. He is our top TM stat man. He spends an ill-advised amount of time making spreadsheets, doing the stats, investigating every single possible avenue for stats in the Taskmaster world. It's very helpful. It's very useful.

It's very interesting. It's also a real insight into what he does in his spare time. So very much looking forward to Jack coming on to chat about it because we're going to chat to him about Taskmaster Series 5, Episode 6. I'd go away and watch this episode before you listen back to it, of course. We will see you after this. Welcome back, Jack, to the Taskmaster podcast.

Hello, thank you for having me. It's lovely to have you back, our resident stat man. Old stato. Our spreadsheet gentleman. It's not a good, it's not a snappy name is it, but I'm going to stick with it. Spreadsheet gentleman. Thank you. That is how I introduce myself now. You should. You work so hard on your Taskmaster spreadsheets You should. You work so hard on your Taskmaster Spreadsheets for no financial recompense. And it's about time you gained something from it. And what you gained from it is a sort of weird superhero nickname of the Spreadsheet Gentleman.

The Spreadsheet Gentleman. Yeah. And a hushed whisper when I walk into rooms. It's the Spreadsheet Gentleman. The Spreadsheet Gentleman. What's he doing here? It must be a task task he must be here to independently analyze a task i was just thinking about it excel is a much better superhero name isn't it yeah but it's sort of um it oversells i reckon yeah yeah yeah we'll go with the spreadsheet gentlemen spreadsheet gentlemen's better it tempers people's expectations. If people haven't heard you on the Taskmaster podcast before,

you are famed, Jack, for your deep dives into the Taskmaster stats. Every single possible avenue has been explored, you know, removing price tasks, removing live tasks, just every single alternate universe Taskmaster and who would have won and who would have come bottom has been explored, hasn't it? Yeah, it's a big waste of time. Although someone tweeted me being like, you should do a deep dive into contestants who are bad at blowing up balloons and work out because

so many contestants say at the start of a balloon episode they're like oh balloon task they're like i i hate blowing up balloons and just working out whether like if there's something in comedians that means that they're bad at blowing up balloons well certainly in this in this series there's a couple of really bad balloon blower operas right so ashling and mark i think neither of them can blow up a balloon i think ashling has to get alex to do it and mark just can't can't wrap his head around how to blow up a balloon he just but then that's not that's not that surprising with mark it's not surprising because mark often looks like someone's forgotten to blow him up a poor deflated man but there's another one he doesn't

have any air in him yeah well you can't spare air for a balloon. What are you talking about? But there's another one where they have to. Oh, gosh. In series three, I think it is. And it's because it's Sarah Pascoe says that she can't do up a balloon. Is that right? Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah. And then I think it's Sarah Pascoe and someone else managed to.

And I think, oh, gosh, it might be Rob Beck it's Sarah Pascoe and someone else managed to... And I think... Oh, gosh, it might be Rob Beckett. And they're the only ones who managed to do the task because they get someone else to blow up a balloon and do the balloon. And I think Dave Gorman is very annoyed about it. That's mad, isn't it? What's with comedians?

Well, we had a balloon blowing up task on Series 9, which was blow up as many balloons as you can and then pop them all within 10 minutes. Yeah. And I don't remember anyone struggling. I mean, I might be misremembering, struggling to blow them up necessarily. It was just the popping which caused some issues.

Oh, so I suppose we could widen it out to be people who are also afraid of balloons and popping balloons. Because there's another one in series four where they have to pop a balloon yeah and i think it's lolly acts like it's the most terrifying thing in the world well of course the uh the big balloon in series 12 as well that was blowing up over a uh over a period of time and everyone looked like it was the end of their life yeah greg looked like he'd been shot it was fantastic as well that's one of my favorite moments i think it's so good it's so good so i mean issues with the balloons i think Yeah, Greg looked like he'd been shot. It was fantastic. That's one of my favourite moments, I think.

It's so good. It's so good. So, I mean, issues with the balloons, I think you'd have to broaden it out to. That's true. And I think actually at that point, everyone has issues with balloons. Only very few people don't have issues with balloons.

Some kind of issue. Yeah, I like them. Does that count as an issue? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's going to go in there. So it's basically who's seen a balloon. Have you seen a balloon? Yeah, 100%. 100%, 0%.

But the thing is, Jack, I know you'd still do that spreadsheet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I do too. And that's what's upsetting me. So we didn't speak in uh for series 12 um so obviously stats have been developing stats are constantly developing uh that's the nature of stats um any updates for us i mean huge updates that's what i'd say absolutely massive updates uh series 12 was a huge series for everyone involved, I would say. Because you know my points per task system that tries to rank everyone who's ever done Taskmaster. According to the points per task system, four out of the five contestants from Series 12 are now in the top ten.

Very interesting. ludicrous what does that what what can we read into those stats can we read in that greg was being more generous are they different types of tasks was everyone just way better i think i think a way better has to be uh looked into because especially because the the winner of season 12 series 12 is now the best taskmaster contestant of all time, overtaking you. So obviously you'll be losing the podcast very soon. I'm sad about that. See, I saw this approaching

because you were tweeting about this before the last episode of the series. I got so excited. If Morgana wins this, if she gets a certain amount of points, then she overtakes Ed. And obviously I get exclusive access to the episodes, Jack. So I knew it had happened already. wins this if she gets a certain amount of points then she overtakes ed and obviously i i get exclusive access to the episodes jack so i knew it had happened already so i was fully emotionally

prepared for the outcome this is fair because you because you you uh like tweeted that you're like you dm'd me being like i know who wins and i thought that i thought that meant i was sure that meant that you were still the champion yeah i was in your head mate i was getting in your head it's all i have now i'm not in the top at least i'm in your head yeah that's all that matters now yeah a bit she was she because she had a really bad start to the last episode because she had to get 18 i think to get it but this is magana picks up points everywhere she's very good at picking up points uh like even when she's doing quite. So interesting thing about Morgana is that she is the best ever Taskmaster contestant, but she's also the third worst at prize tasks.

Oh, wow. So if you take out prize tasks, she is far and away the best contestant who has ever existed. It's nonsense. It's got to be because greg was in a better mood or something he was more generous there's not it's not about the quality of contestant here jack you've got to understand like it was in series nine um look i i would desperately like to tell you that greg was harsher than he's ever been. Greg, I've tried to do a Greg harshness rating, exactly because this was happening, because people were like, 4 out of 10, 4 out of the top 10 from series 12, that's ridiculous! And I had, because someone then

messaged Richard Herring to say, oh Richard Herring's down quite low, and he was like, oh well you can't actually, Greg changesreg changes from from season to season you can't judge these things um so i i have tried to do a greg harshness rating um it's tricky to do though isn't it it is because he i so i what i will say which i worked out uh earlier on today um this has the this sorry season 12 had the oldest lineup. So very few usually in Taskmaster there at least usually everyone's under 30. One person is under 35 at least. And usually you have one or two people under 30. And I think that sets Greg off a bit.

Yeah. Whereas series 12, everyone's over 35. It's all a little bit. it felt a little bit more laid back and relaxed and so greg yeah basically i did a greg harshness rating and he's season 12 series 12 he's ridiculously nice he's yes yeah but that that would i mean that i i don't not taking that away from morgana i think she probably would get it and she would get that in any series the top taskmaster um contestants um but uh yeah he seems more relaxed in that series which is nice to watch as well it was it was really nice he i mean as soon as he gave out the bonus bonus point for for swearing at alex you're like okay wow yeah well let's write the whole thing off then yeah you must have been at that point you You're like, oh, it's over.

It's over. I honestly hadn't even thought about it until you tweeted about it. Because I thought my position was safe. But, you know, it had to go sometime. To hold on to it for, you know, three series. That's not bad. Or two, depending on it. No, three.

Three series. Yeah, three series. Yeah, three series. I think that's pretty good. Who knows what's going to happen next series. You probably know more about Taskmaster contestants and the scoring than even Alex. Is there anyone coming up in the next series

that you think could overtake Morgana or at least land in the top 10? So the problem is, if you'd told me at the start of series 12, who's going to be the best in series 12, like who's going to be the best in series 12, I would have said Victoria Cora Mitchell. Yeah, of course. And she is actually the third worst contestant to ever play, which given that Greg was in

the best mood ever, probably makes her the worst contestant ever. Yeah, I think so. Is Nish still below is nish below her no nish nish is upsettingly high nish is above uh roshin katherine roshin karnaty katherine parkinson victoria cora mitchell paul chowdhury phil wang and joe wilkinson are all below nish good for you nish i mean i i think it the song. I think if the song hadn't happened, then... He had a couple of outstanding tasks. This is true.

I mean a couple. And really, I mean, none of them were in this episode. We'll get to that. He throws it away this episode. There's a little taste in this episode of what it would be like if Nish won an episode. He's ahead momentarily. And then it goes into perhaps his worst performance in a task ever so it's glorious we'll look forward to that so out of season 13 then or series 13 I'm so sorry to our English listeners who got annoyed then when I said that

out of series slash season 13 what do we feel you know who's won in the past you know how they've won and why they've won out of that lineup who do you think is in with a chance of winning the whole thing oh it's i i do okay oh god okay so if you're going on recent recent winners yeah you'd say you know sarah candle and uh and magana i I mean, I guess Bridget Christie is similar, the most similar to those two people. I guess. I'd say you've got to

keep an eye on Bridget. Bridget's got to be in with a shout because even going slightly further back, Morgana definitely is a good comparison for just like you don't necessarily know what she's going to do next. Exactly. Lou as well.

That's true. Has that energy. You need the wildcard energy, but also someone who's going to take it seriously. And looking at it, I think Sophie's going to take it seriously. Yeah. I think Sophie may take it worryingly seriously. My theory is there may be shades of Ed in her approach. Good for her.

But then I think, you know, Ardell O'Hanlon will be the Alan Davis, surely. Yeah, Ardell won't give a shit, mate. Exactly. He's going to be wonderful to watch, but it's not going to be life or death for him. Exactly. Ardell will be, I reckon, midway through,

if Death in Paradise called him up to say, could you come back over to the Caribbean? He'd be like, yeah, I'm going to go. I'm just off again. See you guys. Ramsey as well. Yeah. Well, see, I think Chris Ramsey.

Again, I think the thing is you've got Judy Love and Chris Ramsey, two people who have done Strictly. So know about high energy and high pressure, but also probably be quite laid back about it. Ramsey's not going to be laid back. You don't think so? No, Ramsey will not be laid back. He will be the opposite of laid back all of the time okay and occasionally he will try and pretend that he's being laid back but you can you'll be able

to see in his eyes that he's not okay so will ramsey ramsey becomes the ian sterling i i think i love ian sterling i think ramsey will be more competent than Ian Sterling Wow, big call Just you know that Ian had that vulnerability like with the volcano thing where it didn't work and you could see in his eyes he's like a big puppy and he was sort of a bit wounded by it but he was still trying to act

all cool, whereas I think Ramsey goes full tilt at everything But then how will he react if things go badly oh he'll go mad okay so maybe he's the ed potentially there's potentially ed energy there as well so uh look i i've got my own bridget for that but and i do want to say i've not i do not know who wins i've not seen any of the episodes yet um it is just i think bridget is made for taskmaster in the same way that wozniak was in the same way that lou was

i think i'm i can't wait to see her on it yeah there's a definite there's a definite uh perfect alchemy of everything that you need you need to be a bit weird very clever and very practical yeah then i would have said the same thing about dora cora mitchell so it's impossible to know um so let's talk about series five though um you're a big fan of this series i understand love it i think i mean it's it's hard isn't it because they're all they're all great series they're all brilliant um but it there are just so many bits to this one. I mean, you watch it again. Like, I've been re-watching the series. I managed to at New Year's.

I managed to convince my friend. I was like, we should watch the New Year's treat. And they said, well, I've actually never seen Taskmaster. And I was like, you sit down right now. We're watching all of Series 5 tonight. And we did. And it was great. Yeah, I suppose you can't start someone on the new year's tree although weirdly i think you probably could have

started them on it this year yeah i think it kind of summed up everything about taskmaster adrian charles whipping his trousers off and crawling on the floor with an egg in his mouth i mean yeah you've talked about this but that's such a decision isn't it that's great and he seemed to come to that decision quite easily it was it was very much like oh this is this is what I'll do here like often the show feels like you have to be pushed to humiliate yourself he's like hello yes very good time to humiliate myself I'll do this at a better than I'll get in my car home I love it um but you're right there's a lot of every episode I re-watch of series five I'm like oh that bit

that classic bit of taskmaster is in this episode and they often come in twos i think there's two particularly in this episode the studio stuff just the chat and the things that happen in the studio there's two moments in here that are just like solid gold taskmaster moments i had forgotten about i think the bit that you're thinking about and I think there's about a ten minute run of just I think that just might be my favorite television ever from that moment on to halfway through another task. It's just such a good it feels like they're just like hit after hit after hit. Yeah. And I think it's because I think Guy Montgomery, when he's on the podcast made a

good point about this it's because you've got bob and sally as the older statesmen who are but they're also the the wild cards who can do anything so like you're never really sure what's going to happen at any stage totally brilliant so let's uh talk about the prize task, the best thing they have made themselves. Let's do it in order of points. Let's start with the lowest points given. So let's start with Mark, sadly. I mean, Mark, in these two episodes, Mark gets an absolute kicking, not just from Greg, but from the production team before he even started on the

show they decided that in these two episodes he was going to be absolutely whipped to shit it does feel like because he's a fragile man isn't he yeah mark and it does feel like they were like let's just let's just break him midway through the series so he can be properly broken for the last two episodes let's just have his spirit crushed. But you sort of think, obviously Alex is really good friends with Mark. They've been friends for 20 plus years. So obviously that's where that's come from. Alex has gone, oh, we'll do this to Mark,

and we'll do this to Mark, and we'll do this to Mark. Yeah. But normally I would say that the motivation for that should be Mark will definitely be able to take that. He can't. He can't take it. He looks so wounded every time one of these things happens. It's that thing also of, yeah, as you say, like Mark, Mark can't take it, but also he just keeps

on coming back to do it. So I think that's probably why Alex does it. He's like, well, obviously Mark will put in a stupid amount. He'll spend 26 hours putting together a jigsaw that's what mark will do that'll be great yeah and then we can crush his spirit again and he'll come back next week and he always come back yeah he's not gonna stop coming back he brought in this 4 000 piece jigsaw of greg's face um that that he'd spent 26 hours on so i suppose what he was saying is he'd bought the jigsaw and then he was making the jigsaw right yeah rather than he made the jigsaw itself i suppose he would have had to have sent sent off for the jigsaw as well fine he's commissioned the jigsaw commission the jigsaw and then he is also making the jigsaw he has not finished the jigsaw and he's already

invested 26 hours into it i've got to to say, I think that's quite slow. This is very harsh. I mean, 26 hours is so many hours. And also very quickly, it's not a 4000 piece jigsaw. It is for 1000 piece jigsaws. You can tell based on how it's put together. So it's clearly like the the court the left corner is 1 000 pieces the right corner is 1 000 pieces the bottom left corner is 1 000 pieces the bottom right

and he hasn't even started on the bottom right corner no if he wanted a 4 000 piece jigsaw he could have put them all together in one bag yeah and that would have taken him he'd still be doing it today i mean i'm rubbish at jigsaws that to me looked terrifying like because it's this it's a big picture of a close-up of greg's face there is just expanses of like one color that's true which i think would make it hugely difficult um i mean and he and he did complete i will say he did complete one side of the jigsaw so one one thousand piece jigsaw has been completed two haven't so that's pretty good i will say yeah did complete one side of the jigsaw. So one 1,000-piece jigsaw has been completed. Two haven't.

So that's pretty good, I will say. Yeah, it's pretty good, and I like the idea of it, and the fact he, again, invested so much of his time into it makes it all the more heartbreaking that he got one point with no explanation either. Greg, apart from the fact that he thought it was hilarious, there's no explanation for Mark getting one point there. And it's definitely the best reaction Greg's given to one of Mark's prizes.

Oh, yeah, for sure. He says, you know, I think I just got a boner. Like, he loves the idea of that. One point. One point to give Greg a boner. What more does he have to do? Yeah. Well, there's only one more thing, isn't there?

And I don't think any of these prizes did that to him. Well, there's only one more thing, isn't there? And I don't think any of these prizes did that to him. So the fact that Mark's prize did not beat Sally's prize here is mind-blowing. So she brought in a birdbath, which is just a plunger with some plastic flowers tied to it. Two points. I think this is almost offensive to the concept of the show. And I also wonder if during a socially distanced season, whether it would have got the reaction?

As in like, because I think if you present that with no audience, although I don't know, if Sally presents it, it's hard to know, isn't it? I just can't imagine anyone else in an empty room going, here's my bird bath and it's a plunger with some flowers on it. I can't imagine any other reaction except everyone going, okay. No, I'd laugh. I mean, I think especially because it's Sally, I think it's how she almost gets away with it. Also, I think Greg respects people being lazy in an inventive

way more than he respects people putting their all into it. Yeah, but then, I don't know because I think, you know like that it's the whole um it's the whole guz khan thing you know yeah the the putting a chair in a bag yeah he doesn't respect that no there's something there's something that's less inventive than a bird saying it's a bird bath and having a plunger with flowers tied to it so if guz had turned the chair upside down and put flowers on each one and said,

oh, it's a... See, you can't think of it. So if someone thought of something good there, you'd be impressed. That's true. But it was awful. That should have been one point for Sally. Nish got three points for his T-shirt

with the faces of all the players on it and the hosts, saying the Taskmaster 7. points for his T-shirt with the faces of all the players on it and the hosts saying the Taskmaster seven. It's things they've made themselves. Whereabouts did Nish put any of his own effort into this? He must have Photoshopped it, right? He did not Photoshop that.

I'm telling you, there's no way Nish Photoshop that. So did Nish design? Okay, did he come up with the names for everyone? Because they all have little nicknames. Potentially. I don't think Nish has photoshop, knows how to operate photoshop. Tell me, can you imagine Nish sat down at a computer putting people's faces onto things in a photo?

You're right, actually. I can imagine him screaming Jesus Christ and then very slowly kicking the computer. Yeah, screaming, you computer fuck, and then the computer falls off the desk. So I know sometimes we have to keep up this facade that the production team don't do anything for the contestants when it comes to the prize task but i feel like he needed a big hand in this one hang on do you think that was production or do you think he got a friend or something because i think

maybe a friend yeah so you don't think you went to snappy snaps i'm i he may well have gone to snappy snaps but okay he did not do that picture. So I suppose he made it himself in that he took the picture to Snappy Snaps fine. Because I've taken embarrassing photos of Snappy Snaps and I felt like a kindred spirit at that point with Nish. Where you have to explain why you've done this thing. Yeah, but they must see that all day, right? Like stupid in-jokes going onto mugs and stuff.

Yeah. And I suppose actually, if anything, you'd be like, oh yeah, cool. That's the people from Taskmaster. Yeah. That and stuff. Yeah. And I suppose actually, if anything, you'd be like, oh yeah, cool, that's the people from Taskmaster. That's fun. Yeah. It was very sweet.

It's a very sweet prize as well. I think that may have counted. I can't work out if that counted against him or for him because he seems quite ashamed of how genuine this is. When he sort of introduced it, he's like, a t-shirt with all our faces on it. Like, oh God, I love you, okay? I'm having the best time of my life. witnesses when he sort of introduced it he's like a t-shirt with all our faces on it like oh god i love you okay i'm having the best time of my life um ashling brought in a homemade vegetarian sausage roll which i loved it so again very sincere very straightforward it's something

she genuinely makes at home um i love the backstory about tricking people into eating it and then revealing that it's not meat i thought it was great i think it was great i think it weirdly it dated the show a bit for me in an odd way in the sense that because i feel like in 20 whenever this came out 2017 we must have all been like oh a vegetarian sausage roll what an original idea whereas now we're like we got vegan sausage rolls from greg's mate everyone does it do you think greg's got the idea for their vegetarian and vegan sausage roll from ashling on this episode absolutely and i think they will like and make sure it's in the exact shape of greg's flaccid penis that's the selling point it all fits together greg that's why it's called greg's it's why it's called great that's like's why it's called Greg's. Like, finally! And maybe every single item in Greg's

is part of Greg's anatomy. Yeah. It was four points, and I think it deserved it. I really liked it. That was really good. This is the sort of thing I'll get tweets about. They'll go, You do not think that deserved it?

No way! But what definitely deserved the five points is i think the prize task that i put if someone said tell me a series five prize task i'd say bob mortimer's uh sausage or pork pie presentation unit for the cheaper meats for the cheaper that's what makes it it's for the cheaper meats for the cheaper meats um just it's funny anyway the picture of it's funny and then when you actually see it in action it's so it's so funny funny it's so and it really goes yeah what i just love about i mean it's what i love about bob anyway it's so difficult to describe why bob's so funny but just cutting back to everyone losing it and bob sat there sort of lightly amused but it's just so

normal to him that's at the front of his brain that sort of thing yeah he's like yeah well why why wouldn't i do this yeah like he doesn't have to dig down to be like what funny thing am i going to do he's like well i'll do a sausage presentation unit it's just there ready to go i i wonder i mean i feel like he definitely you know how we're you know it's that thing of oh how much of this is real when do contestants actually bring these things in they've made them i think i'm sure bob must have made that years before coming on the show oh for sure yeah yeah oh i'm sure like that's just part of his life yeah i i think he wants at some point to main like to to have lift off with the sausage unit yeah i think I think if it goes so quickly, it could probably be like a little meat helicopter.

Yeah, exactly. Just think that's something that, you know, would I lie to you when he says all that stuff and everyone's like, well, that's definitely a lie. And then it turns out to be the truth. Exactly, yeah. It's just another one of those. He's built a sausage presentation unit

to help his son eat the cheaper meats. By the way, he talks about his son quite regularly in things. And we had him on my other podcast off menu. And he talked about swirling the ketchup and mustard with his finger for his son on his hot dog. And his son's in his twenties. So reappraise that. Watch that again.

This episode of Taskmaster. And his son must have been 16? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 16 when this... Do you think his son's like, I just don't want to eat the cheaper meats, Dad. All right?

All right. The highfalutin meats. Well, wait there. Oh, he's brought out the sausage, the old cheaper meats helicopter. All right, then. So it was five points for Bob, four points for Aisling, three points for meat helicopter. Alright then. So, it was five points for Bob, four points for Aisling, three points

for Nish, two points for Sally and a sad one point for Mark. So sad. Hi, yeah, mine is hi, it's a sausage or pork pie presentation unit and I made it to encourage my children to eat the cheaper meat.

The sausage and the cheaper meat. This is what it looks like. next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices.

We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Task one, balance Alex. You have 10 minutes to place your counterweight at the end of your seesaw. You may not use humans to balance Alex. Most balanced Alex wins. Your time starts now. Pretty straightforward estimation task.

Yeah. And there's a similar one later on in series season 11 when they have to guess how much Alex's head and feet weigh. Yes, head and feet. Yeah head and feet yeah where alex is dressed as a centurion yeah which he's never revealed why and it bugs me every time i was hoping that this might reveal something i was sort of keeping an eye out on this task in particular interesting um and hoping that that would have a clue in it but it doesn't it absolutely doesn't it is quite i i was thinking about how i would

approach this task and i i have nothing i've got absolutely no way of doing it you've just gotta be good at estimating weights i think you've just gotta i mean nish does the right thing in that he just loads up more than you would expect and he's still 30 off um. I think Aisling also has a brilliant idea. I think if you could find a way to harness the basket down so it's level all of the time, it would be fantastic. So I've watched it many times, this episode, and I can't work out why Aisling's doesn't work.

It's because the washing machine's stringy. It's doesn't work it's because it's the the washing machine stringy it's stretchy and i think it just comes does it come out of the window it's just she said she tied it to the to the middle of the car because i thought initially she'd just like wound up the window and i was like well that's not gonna work yeah and then it turns out she's tied to the i i felt like ashling was a victim of physics there. I think also she hadn't necessarily worked out the length of the line. She just harnessed it in, but hadn't worked out that when the, when the seesaw actually moves,

there's too much slack. Oh, that's actually a good point. Maybe she's made it. Maybe you need to be even more accurate. Yeah. Yeah. So it sounds like a good idea,

but actually what you're doing is making it that much. It's another step and you start to be very uh balanced on it really what you need is you need the if you're doing that you need the basket to be in something so when alex sits on it it hits the top of something and can't go up any further see i i think that's not balancing at that point is it well it's you know it's on the seesaw but it's not balancing if you're i suppose it is well you're right you could argue it you could argue it you could argue it but then i think everyone in the series isn't great at arguing no always comes back and like yeah i know you're right greg yeah sorry sorry sorry i'll take the one point yeah so i think that yeah the the key here is just going for it and loading stuff up because I don't think you're ever gonna get enough in that basket for it to be too much yeah I think you you forget how

heavy humans are yes I often do that I often forget how heavy humans are humans are really heavy yeah I've seen you walking through the streets trying to lift people up with one finger. Yeah. No, try another one. See, I think I would... See, I wonder with Mark. I mean, Mark's attempt is bizarre on so many levels. To go from microwave and then go, well, we need a little bit more, so I'll go with the fruit bowl. And then like, that's not... Obviously, that's not enough.

So a vacuum cleaner. Famously easy to lift up vacuum cleaner. That'll do do it it's a weird one from mark as well because in this he's so confident in this he's confidently terrible whereas a lot of the time his normal state is apologetically good so he's good at stuff but apologizes so much that it's like he's bad but here he's very confident what he's done but he's done an awful job yes it's so do you think this is quite early on before his spirit was crushed potentially by the show so he sort of hadn't worked out his persona yet and he and he came and being like yeah i'll smash this yeah yeah you wear as much as a microphone

microwave in a fruit bowl see ya but he's's actually weirdly better when his spirit's crushed. Yeah. I think that's true of all of us, isn't it? Yeah. It was terrible from Mark. Really bad. The idea that the bananas would make any difference. I better put that in there to be exact, actually.

I've forgotten about his fingers, so I better put the bananas down. I've nailed that one. He does leave by saying life's about learning isn't it which is such a such a sad thing to say um what i really like as well is when mish has done all right and they show the results he doesn't know how to take it yeah his persona is so rooted at this point in being the worst one that he's got nothing to say to being good. He sort of goes a bit, he's so chuffed with himself,

but he's got nothing to give. Nish, because you're saying that Nish sort of knows he's only done well in about two before he comes into the show. I think this is a surprise for him. Yes, definitely. He literally didn't conceive that he would do well here. And I think, doesn't he interrupt? He seems to interrupt what Greg and Alex are saying

to say, have I won? Have I done well? It's not even have I won. It's have I done well in that? He's surprised that they haven't done well in it. He can't even conceive of, he's seen the results and he's gone, hang on a second, I'd love more balance. I mean, Alex does not sit in his seat

when he balances niches. Which I think, you have to be harsh in this, don't you? You have to be very, and I was thinking that he's, and the whole point with the casino, the whole thing with Bob where he moves it back, like where you sit is very important. It is. I think he still would have won.

Yeah. So I suppose it's just it's for good television to make him look like he's looked better it's the tricks of the trade isn't it tricks of the trade mate Sally also goes, the lawn roller was key here, she goes with the lawn roller as well and gets 4 points, gets 56%

of Alex's weight, we've talked about Aisling harnessing the box stand really good technique, disappointed that that the box stand. Really good technique. Disappointed that that didn't work. Another really good technique from Bob. Yeah. Who moves the basket, but just didn't put enough in.

He just needed to put more in and the basket might have been what won it. If he'd gone roller, if he'd gone with everything that Nish had, he would have won. So I think he would have, but I think he also would have killed Alex. Yeah.

I mean, that was terrifying. That was so scary. Yeah. When that thing starts rolling towards you, like, oh my God. That feels like, after that happened, it feels like someone had to fill out a form on the production crew. Absolutely. And then they were like, let's put that on TV.

Yeah. Let's put that on tv yeah let's allow that to be covered yeah just yeah that would have because that that would have been it wouldn't it it's surely that would have been it i i interviewed alex for ages ago or not ages ago last year and i asked if there was a bit where he felt he was you know in danger in the show yeah and he didn't mention this bit. He said the bit where Rod Gilbert throws a javelin at him. Well, that's fair enough. Yeah, I mean, that is fair enough.

But I think maybe he's blocked this out. Yeah, potentially. What a way to go. Oh dear, well, what a rush. At least we can watch it now knowing he's fine. That's true. So it was one point for Mark. Oh, not a good episode for Mark.

Two points for Bob, three points for Aisling, four points for Sally, and five points for Nish. And he's in the lead this episode. And as Alex says in the next task, if you win this task, you're out clear in front. So what a shame that the next task is, with this camera strapped to your head, record the most incredible footage. You have 10 minutes to plan your footage and 10 minutes to record it your

time starts now i i don't know where to start with nish on this one because everyone else's is outstanding they've put work into it they've've really gone for it. They've used their creative chops as people within the entertainment industry to make some... This is where, as comedians, we should be flourishing, right? This is also where Nish needs to make up points. Yeah. Like, Nish isn't going to do well

in the objective, practical tasks. He's not going to do well in things that don't require some creativity. Like, he needs to be i just it is and he's an extremely creative guy he's very funny i used to do sketch shows with him he writes sketches he knows how to put together little things like that so what possessed him to fill in the sudoku wrong wrong very wrong very wrong that that reveals perfect um and then put two thumbs up to the portrait and go yes and think that's incredible okay so in nisha's defense what i will say he's and if you if you're gonna say he did it deliberately badly

because he thought it was funny i don't think that's what was happening i don't think that's what was happening either i think this because i it's quite late when this is being filmed because he goes into the house doesn't he and it seems quite dark i reckon nish has just run out of energy i think something i reckon uh the the candle task must have happened earlier this day yeah and nish is drained everything from nish is gone but that's not an excuse jack it gone. But that's not an excuse, Jack. You know it's not an excuse. I'm just trying to provide context of the way. When I was filming Series 9,

when we were on location in the big weird garden centre prop house thing, I was not very well. I was coughing, very bad cold. I'd been up most of the night coughing. Not very well at all. And at the end of the day, I thought it was over. They said, there's one more task. And it was the serenade yourself task. And I was knackered. I thought it was the end of the day. I don't like musical tasks anyway, because I don't have a musical bone in my body. You know what I

did? I complained for a while, and then I got my my head down and I bashed out one of the best songs of all time. I think it went to number one, if I remember correctly. Yeah, you beat four-time number one winner David Baddiel. Yeah. I mean, I've got such a good story about that task that when we get to talk about Series 9,

I cannot wait to tell it. Okay. If I'm allowed to. Yes. nine, I cannot wait to tell it. Okay. If I'm allowed to. Yes. No, I jest, of course. It was fine. That's the reason you're second in the leaderboard and why Nish is languishing in the bottom. Best enough for second.

Top two. No. Yes. But, I mean, hilariously bad in comparison to the others because everyone else got four or five points. That's what I really like about it this this that's the thing is everyone could it's such a it's such a task where you can where you can do so well yeah oh it's just remarkable how bad it is yeah uh i mean marx was so clever the watching the film of a motorbike going through a forest and screaming

i really when you see it initially i still think there's that moment where you go what and then your brain clicks and you go no it's mark watson there's absolutely no way this is happening where would that be how's he got a motorbike in 10 minutes you very quickly work out that something else is going on but they've done it so well that it is a joy to watch still it absolutely is and also i see i think mark mark's a great actor, obviously. I think he's going, oh, oh, God, ah, ah, in a way that if Mark was actually on a motorbike, he would just be frozen in fear. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.

There would be, like, the smallest noise would be coming out of him. Yeah. As he, yeah. But then that's less fun, so. Yeah, no, I loved that interpretation of the task. Aisling did Took, a parody of taken which it is like watching a child play by themselves that's what i really like about it is it's the sort of thing i would do with action figures when i was

a kid like completely make up a story and it just seems to spill out of us so easily spoonie neeson seems to spill out of us so easily. Spoonie Neeson. Spoonie Neeson. Not a pun. No pun. No pun whatsoever. First draft of the name, which makes me laugh. Also, in Taken, the character's not called Liam Neeson.

But the bad guy in this is like, ah, Spoonie Neeson. You're like, well, you could have come up with something else, couldn't you? She's only got 10 minutes to record. It was 10 minutes to plan, 10 minutes to record, I suppose. Yeah, within the 10 minutes of planning, she could have come up with something else couldn't you she's only got 10 minutes to record it was 10 minutes to plan 10 minutes to record i suppose yeah within the 10 minutes of planning she could have come up with another name but i loved it i wouldn't have it any other way great northern irish accent so good the whole thing's brilliant i love the god i wish i had real hands as well that made me laugh so hard every time i hear it i'm like yep that's brilliant

really really liked that um and nish could have done something like that. Exactly. Nish is a talented, funny guy. He's not a bad guy. I mean, that moment taking Nish to one side in the studio is just phenomenal. It's so good. The two bits in the studio that are amazing are that, which I think that's like a defining moment in the whole show because you think i i honestly every time i see it i think uh greg's gonna hit

nish yes i'm like it's got that threat to it hasn't it yeah he picks it he needs to pick him up he's gonna just like like just throw him somewhere it's amazing but then it's just so loving and caring and yet also the meanest thing you can do yeah i mean obviously we we see that only once more that move from greg in series seven uh with with james a caster when uh james uh calls him a for not being able to open the mysterious box which i think okay i think that one you're like yes fair enough you should you should do a telling off in front of the whole class that makes sense this one seems mean because nish can't control what's going to happen now nish it's already done you know it's like it's like giving someone a motivational speech to do

better in their exams after the exam after the exam while you're getting your results yeah it's so mean but it is self-sabotage though it feels like i just in fact he was doing so well in this episode i i made a note of very quickly i made a note of one of the lines that nish does in sudoku because i couldn't believe how badly he did it yeah and the line is eight nine seven six seven eight seven eight five that's just well it reminds me of the old Paul Foot bit of stand-up where Paul Foot... You know when Sudokus were like a thing? When loads of people were doing them. Paul Foot did a thing and you can just fill them... I think it was Paul Foot. You can just put whatever you like in there because nobody checks. Nobody checks. But Ed, someone

was checking. Someone was checking. Someone was checking. Someone was checking. It's the one time you need to do a Sudoku well. Yeah. Oh, goodness. Let's talk about... Firstly, look, Bob's film, Brilliant, it's like a Reeves and Mortimer sketch.

They basically give Bob free reign to commission and write another Reeves and Mortimer sketch. It's brilliant. It's so funny. Such a funny idea. Perfectly played out no explanation for it needed just brilliant yeah um but what obviously what i want to talk about is what i consider to be the best moment studio moment in taskmaster history which is

the explanation of bob's hyenas i love this bit so much for for more i think i think it's i think it might be Bob's best bit in the whole series. Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, it definitely is. And he's got a lot of amazing moments. But this is just outstanding. I've known Nish for years and years and years. So we have, I think, almost exactly the same sense of humor now.

He's on his knees immediately. Immediately, Nish is on his knees in the studio. It's so up Nish's street. Sally loses her mind. Aisling... Aisling looks horrified. I actually took a screenshot because I was so... It's like... I know people say like, oh, it's like a Renaissance painting.

It is kind of like a Renaissance painting because you have like Aisling looking like, you know, someone's pissed in the font and Mark looking like just confused. Nish is on his knees. Sally is like her head is in her hands. It's just glorious. And then Bob is just in full flow. Yeah. Just proper in full flow isn't he?

Like there's every line he says he's got because people are laughing so much. He's just got time to just keep dropping in new details that I think toilet should be the other way around. You have a little shelf. And it's the fact that he's still talking to Mark because Mark is, I think Mark's the only one polite enough to not break away from him. Mark's still like, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, keep talking about your little weird shelf. Oh God, it is brilliant and it's also it feels like one of the few bits where greg because it feels like greg's very confident at the start of that because he's gonna you know he's gonna he's gonna mock bob about talking about poo because bob said that off cuff and he doesn't know anything and then by the end greg is broken like totally broken yeah he has no idea what he's doing um

no i love i love it so much and i think quite often with taskmaster there's all those bits happen in the studio quite a lot you get like ridiculous riffs that just go off and end up being quite rude and fecal or what have you uh and a lot of them get taken out for time because otherwise you could do you could do an episode of taskmaster and not show the tasks that's how much chat there is in the studio but i'm so glad that was left in and not and not put as an extra on youtube because it's so funny it's so good um well let's talk about sally's which is just just phenomenal the birth of alex i i just i don't get how you get to that point. I suppose she just must have had it

in her head from the get go. She must have been like, well, I'm going to give birth to Alex. Yeah. But then how do you realize that so brilliantly? So brilliantly. Like it's moving. It's genuine. The bit inside the womb, as it were it's like the teardrop video a massive attack it's like really well full credit obviously to the team and the editor um who've done an amazing job with that but to be able to get to that point where you're like well i need these sheets i need this this thing i don't know what it was but that looks very realistically like an umbilical cord and then and then all the all the cling film you can handle. All the cling film.

As much cling film as we can put on Alex. I love the backstage shots, the behind-the-scenes shots. Oh, God. That shot of her right in his face. So funny. He just looks so grotesque in that as well. Oh, God. It's brilliant.

It's genuinely brilliant. And you know what? Weirdly, I forget about it until I watch it again genuinely brilliant and you know what weirdly i forget about it until i watch it again i don't know what it always sneaks up on me because if someone was to ask me about sally on taskmaster i definitely first thing i'd say would be the water cooler yeah water cooler moment um i'd say water cooler and throwing the jelly those are my two big sally yes yeah but this should it should be this shouldn't i mean it's just it's amazing what she did um and five points if greg could give six, it should be this, shouldn't it? I mean, it's just, it's amazing what she did.

And five points. If Greg could give six points, this would be the task to do it, right? I mean, yeah. I reckon if this was series 12, he'd have given 10. Yeah, he would have done.

Yeah, he really, really let things slide in series 12. What is it? Is it self-sabotage? Do you want this or not? I just thought it would be great. You were doing well in this one for the first time.

Yeah, I know, but I thought it would be really impressive if I did a whole Sudoku. Yeah, but we've checked it and you weren't even doing the Sudoku problem. No. Just try and pull yourself up with the bootstraps. Give it a go. Really have a go at the show. You're not a bad guy, Nick. Nish Kumar's attempt there, ladies and gentlemen.

The failed bonus task. Have your photo taken with this golden pineapple and other esteemed company. Best portfolio of pineapple photos wins. You have six months. Your time starts now. um ashling was the only one given this uh and she sent it to her mum helen in kildare who took photos of it on her ipad she got naught points for this jack how are we feeling about that i okay look if you could give points to helen sure, fine. Because what actually is the task? The task is take a photo of yourself in a steam company with this pineapple.

Yes. And yeah, have your photo taken. Have your photo. You are correct about this. Have your photo taken with this golden pineapple in another steam company. I love Aisling. I think she's great.

I think she delegates this task to her mum. Yes. and then seems to throw her mom under the bus totally but she yeah she really tries to throw her mom under the bus what's happened here is she has decided that this one i mean she's very busy ashling she's decided that this is one she could probably let go and let someone else win not realizing she is the only one taking part in it this is the if if you have if you have everyone doing this ashling's is a fun little bit yeah it's because and i think in a way i was wondering do you think they would have dropped this task if it wasn't for the fact that that helen put so much effort into it and it would have been incredibly cruel to just be like helen would have been like

so when's my when's my task to be shown look i Look, I love the photos. Oh, the photos are amazing. The photo in the blacksmiths and the one with the horse, they're all beautiful. They're fantastic. A real insight into life in Kildare. There's a photo where the pineapple is with a nun, two Virgin Marys and a clown. I want to know what is going on there.

It's great. For that reason, I think it deserves points but um i think you're right in the ashling needs to be in the photos but then it does say best portfolio of pineapple photos wins it's the only portfolio of pineapple photos hence it is the best but i think the yaw the yaw is the crucial have your photograph taken yeah i think i think you're probably right um well it would have been fun if ashling is engaged in it properly um but uh sadly not but then you know you're told to take a pineapple round with you for six months it's a shame because that

actually you'd have done that celebs of course i've done exactly it would you'd have you'd have tanked your career i would of course i would have done that i would have gone everywhere i would try to break into concerts backstage to meet the band to have a photo taken with them you'd have broken into buckingham palace i would have done yeah me the queen and the golden pineapple and then in the background you can see security yeah um but you'd have got the photo i would have got it is that a real life-size jockey statue in your home, it's a real jockey on pretend horses where they learn how to ride. And my mother... How to what? How to... How to ride the horses.

LAUGHTER And if a boyfriend of mine passes three months and makes it to Ireland, my mother brings him back and puts him on one of those simulator horses to see how fast he can go. She wants to vet him to see if he'll be good enough at sex. Yeah, well, that's... I mean, that's what it appears to be. Good to know that Helen vets them in such a precise manner. Task three.

Using this flame, light the candle in the caravan. Fastest wins, your time starts now. And then, of course course a rule only for mark because everyone hates him another rule the week after he's had to do those texts um also please don't say any words containing any of the letters in the word taskmaster and also that is specifically the worst thing you can ask mark to do yeah because he gets so in his head about it i i so this must have been the series where they had four special tasks and yes i think they had the pineapple task

the text task this one and the fish pun task oh yeah for sally yeah for sally i i think they not they didn't go overboard but i feel like they'd put all their effort and then I think for a while they were like, let's retire this. Yeah, I mean, they've definitely wound them down across the series, haven't they? Which I think is fair enough, really. Yeah, because they're more fun when they're a big surprise. Okay. Can you transfer the flame, Jack?

What do you reckon? Okay, this is exactly what I was going to ask. I think you can transfer the flame and Jack? What do you reckon? Okay, this is exactly what I was going to ask. I think you can transfer the flame, and therefore, you can never stop. Yeah. You could potentially, as long as you always have multiple flames on the go, surely that's how you do it.

Yeah. I think you could argue that. You could argue that in the studio anyway. But I also think you could do it in such a graceful way that you could almost, like people would be so like, oh, that's clever. Because some hacks, you're like, oh, that's not in the spirit of it. This one, it feels like if you could...

Because you'd have to keep on relighting. Yes. I reckon you could definitely do that and it would be okay. I think you almost need to find a lighter. Start the gas. Oh, hang on. The flame. Oh, you're... Sorry, I misinterpreted what you said. start the gas Oh Hang on Oh Sorry, I misinterpreted what you said

You're saying that you could light the gas with the cupcake and then keep on going back to the gas to relight every time I thought it was you put another thing on fire have multiple things on fire that you're holding You could do that as well I think it was, you know, you put another thing on fire, have multiple things on fire that you're holding.

You could do that as well. I think it's the same principle. See, I don't think that is, because I think your one's cheatier. No, you start the gas, you light the lighter off the candle, and then you've already got a lighter going, right? Oh, no, no. You can't light a lighter. It's the same flame.

No, because how do you light, okay, how do you light a lighter. It's the same flame. No, because how do you light... Okay, how do you light a lighter off? Can you light a lighter without... You can put... If you push the gas button without using the flint, you get a stream of gas coming out. And then if you put that gas to the candle, it will light the gas.

And that is the flame. The flame is the same thing. It depends how you define the gas. And that is the flame. The flame is the same thing. It depends how you define the flame. This is some Olympic flame bullshit going on here, where they're like, oh, it's the same flame that was lit to light Olympus. I don't think the Olympic flame is bullshit, and I don't think our listeners would care for you saying so.

I'm saying the continuity is bullshit, and I'm saying your continuity feels... Whereas I think if you're if you're lighting things from the same and also because it would look more like you've lit it whereas if you've got a lighter a thing that could i think it's the same principle sure but it doesn't look as good more modern i'm just more modern um anyway no one does that uh ashling does what i would actually do uh and just run out as fast as she could that's what i'd really do i'd panic and i'd run for it and also it's the fact that she she opens the door so quickly that it blows the

flame out it's not even like it's it's not even like the first obstacle she's come up against she's it's like pre-obstacle she's like oh open don't open the door too quickly that'll blow up the candle that's how fire doors work. Deeply frustrating. And the fact that she can't believe that she can't have another go. She's like, no, but we can just relight it to cut. He's like, no, this is this flame.

Yeah, so it's all done. And when she thinks that she's got nine minutes left, it's no, that was nine seconds. Sally's technique great tragic tragic but so tragic

that it doesn't work because to know that I guess she might she might have remembered the bell jar almost because she went in there

gets the bell jar and comes back out the same way yeah and really just incredible like even like opening the door

and there's water or you know bubbles or what have you. And she's just, it's the perfect way of doing it. Worried me slightly when she put the cupcake on the floor and put the bell jar over it. Because then you're like, how long is the oxygen going to last? Exactly. But I think it was sort of, it had the vibe of like a sort of gothic film with Sally walking through an old house with a bell jar.

Except instead of a candle, she's got a cupcake. So what's going on there? It's a bit more fun. Now, she obviously messes up outside the caravan. She doesn't do what she did before, which is put the cupcake down with the bell jar to open the door, which is what she should have done. I think she assumed that it would just be a matter of opening the door,

which I think is really unfair. It's so unfair to how frustrating that must have been to get there and then it's hard enough anyway yeah to throw that obstacle up you don't need to put that back in i i found that i found that upsetting yeah too much um so mark mark gets so obsessed with finding the right words he doesn't need to say anything does he just sally doesn't say anything no sally just gets on with it he spends so long trying to think of words and all he comes up with this fiddly and how i whenever i can't do anything i now just go fiddly fiddly how i genuinely can't stop myself from doing it like if i'm doing diy i'll just go fiddly fiddly how and do you do that instead of just doing the diy yeah yeah yeah it's like

hours later and i'm still just saying fiddly fiddly v fiddly occasionally i'll say yeah v fiddly oh yeah but he gets four points. That's what I like about it. He's been absolutely eviscerated across these two episodes by the team and by Greg. So I think he deserves those four points. But Fiddley Howe is so funny. Yeah, it's brilliant. Nish, this is another classic Nish moment.

It's bubbly fuck. And he's actually doing quite well. I was kind of... He's obviously not going to get that much further. Well, he may. He may get further. Why does he shout bubbly fuck? Who is he saying it at? Is he saying it at Alex? To the bubbles. To the bubbles. Okay. So it's a single... But wouldn't that be bubbly fucks? This is what I don't understand about Nish.

Maybe there was one bubble that was coming towards the cupcake oh fair enough you bubbly fuck i think he's talking about the concept of bubbles being a bubbly fuck yeah that makes sense i can see that um but yeah nish nish um projects his voice as those of you've seen him do anything will know um and he really enunciates his fucks so it's the is essentially blowing a candle out it is it's it's almost like they designed the task knowing that nish would would blow the candle out while saying fuck they're all arts that's just me how it how it happens it is we know this is going to happen so how do we build a task around that it is i mean i know they talk about this it's amazing how quickly that candle goes

out yeah gone it's it's a sentient candle it's a it's a sentient prudish candle so good um and he was doing all right although you know he's just using his hand and you can see the candle through his fingers so that it he was on the way it was on the way to going out anyway i think it could have it could have been like a miracle that he just kept on going and it just you know kept go it kept on staying alight despite the fact that his fingers were protecting it but yeah if you're gonna go out if you're gonna bow out bow out with a bubbly absolutely um let's talk about bob who's the only person to light the candle and this is just this is testament to bob when he's so calm he knows none of it matters and that's why he does well so i think bob's underrated in in practical stuff in a way that like a lot of other comedians like

a lot of other people because they look like they're like okay i'm gonna do it all i are and they make a big show of doing practical things really well because bob is so chill he just i it's a bit alan davis in a way yeah he just kind of like he it's he makes everything look so easy yeah when he when when when it's locked and he's like okay i'll go and get it you're just like anyone else would have been like oh alex how could you that's what they want from it they want people you know pissing and moaning and screaming and getting frustrated and that's that's what would mean they would fail at the task. Bob's just like, oh, that's locked.

So we'll just, back we go, get the key. Just incredible. Even has time for a bit of monk chanting. Yeah. No, it's a fairly incredible thing to watch in a very difficult task, in a genuinely difficult task. So it's a well-deserved five for Bob, a well-deserved four for Mark,

three for Sally, two for Nish, and one for the bull in a china shop, Aisling B. Fastest wins. Your time starts now. Oh! It's already gone. Can I... Can I relight the fire? No, it says use that flame. You've got nine minutes left. No, no, no, you took nine seconds.

To what? To destroy your chance. Surely not! Yes. This is a real shame. Live task. Make yourself monotone. Most monotone after 100 seconds wins.

You've just got to go for it, right? Yeah. So I only realized watching it again, they don't just have that powder. I thought they just had the powder for some reason. They've got tape and toilet roll that is the color that they need to be. I feel like you could do it with toilet roll and you'd do pretty well you'd get the toilet roll

all the way around you it's the back is the issue well but you could you could definitely do the legs right oh yeah i suppose you just pass it around with the toilet roll don't you yeah yeah you could do that you could do that what i think if people had known that it was going to be judged on the back i mean ashling is incredible yes ashling is just uh is just a machine she just gets like like red on her back and then just rolls about in as degrading a way as possible well that's if you ask ashling to go absolutely full tilt hammer something and just do something like that she will just throw herself into it there's no stopping her as as evidence in the the candle task, which was, you know, a bad way of doing it. Sure.

And the Weetabix, where she just ate the Weetabix instantly. Yes, exactly. If you just think about this for a second, you might come up with better solutions. Like, no, here we go. Sometimes it doesn't work, but Aisling's energy is perfect for this live task.

For rolling about in paint, it's absolutely perfect. Sally got the four points mark three points bob two points and nish one point he could have done so he he was top after the first task and he is bottom of this episode again 12 points but that's sort of i mean again this is the whole magana thing people would pick up pick up points where you where you don't expect them to or just keep up there yeah as long as you stay on on twos or threes rather than ones you're gonna be you're gonna do okay yeah yeah poor nish um but it was a tie break between bob and sally uh and the tie

break task was get the most yogurt onto the middle of the target in the wall with one good kick um look it's another yogurt task uh second this series it's it's a bad it's it's a it's a it's a disaster of a task it is it goes very wrong yeah um a terrible kick from bob the thing is i think those tie break tasks should just be straightforward right you should just everyone should do them in the same way um i'm not sure i like it when people find little ways around them uh but it didn't really matter because um sally hacked it and didn't get it anyway you're got the target anyway it felt i felt like this whole show in the studio felt like uh like the hot the the realms of reality felt like they were breaking down and when sally misses from that close,

it just feels like, and Alex is like, we don't know what happens in this situation. The tiebreaker's failed. What do we do here? And it's, yeah, it's mad. And then Greg has to just ask a guy in the front row who he thinks should win. And he says Bob.

And so Sally wins. Great. Yeah. Is it easy to get any yoghurt on the target? It's not ideal, because I don't know who won. It's whether or not a pot of yoghurt is yoghurt. Yes, of course it is. So a yoghurt hit the target, but a yoghurt didn't hit the target.

Oh, it's really tough. Am I allowed to ask the audience? No. Maybe I'll ask that guy with the really petrifying laugh in the front row. Seems fair, doesn't it? Sally or Bob? Bob.

Congratulations, Sally is the winner. So, series scores at this point. Again, this is the true bizarre nature of Mark Watson, is after this episode and the last episode, you're like, well, Mark's must be bottom he must be with nish he's joint first with bob yeah both on 104 points he could have been in champions of champions yeah imagine that imagine mark watson in champion of champions i would have loved it would have absolutely loved it he'd have had a horrible time having to do more taskmaster for for mark um i wouldn't be surprised if they told him he was doing champion of champions then filmed an entire champion of champions and then told him at the end it wasn't the real one and it was never going on tv you

have to go to kill there with this pineapple go get the pineapple from hel. Aisling's on 99 points, Sally's on 97 points, and Nish is there as well. Oh, poor Nish. So, Jack, thank you very much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast. Of course, you now need to rate your experience on the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster.

Let's give it a five. I can't give anything. What are you going to do? We always have a laugh, don't we? Even though you try to crush my dreams. I do try cut well i don't need to make up stats your fake news all right richard herring jesus well that's the thing now i don't have the top spot i'm never gonna have the top spot unless i'm gonna change unless i do a champion of champions where you merge in unless you scored incredibly well

in champion of champions and that ups your average. Very good point. But, oh, do you, would you include those stats in? Yeah. And then divide by, oh, so boring.

What a sad little life I lead. That's the perfect place to end it. Thank you very much, Jack. Thank you. Well, there we are. Thank you very much, Jack, well there we are thank you very much jack for coming back on we will of course speak to jack probably when we're talking about series six uh to talk about the stats of that series uh remember go and follow jack on twitter at jack burn 23 remember to email us with questions and queries and thoughts uh taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com uh next week we'll be chatting of course, taskmasterpodcast.gmail.com.

Next week, we'll be chatting, of course, about Taskmaster Series 5, Episode 7. It's the penultimate episode of that series. And then it's Champion of Champions time. Think how many episodes we've still got to talk about. Then Series 6, then Series 7, then Series 8, then Series 9, and then we've done 10 already. But let's just do that again.

Let's just keep going until we're all dead thank you very much for listening see you next week goodbye Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly.

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