Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 73. Tim Key - S6 Ep.6

Episode Date: March 24, 2022

To take a deep dive in to Episode 6 of Series 6 Ed is joined by poet, comedian, actor, task consultant AND previous contestant - Tim Key! Tim returns to discuss his inventions, the life of a task consultant and how he'd make a parachute. Find out more about Tim's book and live shows visit timkey.co.ukWatch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Taskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for AvalonTelevision Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's Ed Gamble here. I'm your host for the Taskmaster podcast.

We'll be going through a specific episode of Taskmaster, task by task, bit by bit, picking it apart, working out whether the scoring was fair. It's basically a forensic excavation of an old episode of Taskmaster and the episode we will be doing today is series six episode six and of course we have a special guest someone from the world of Taskmaster and this week it's a former contestant and a former guest on this podcast the wonderful Tim Key yes Tim Key comedian actor writer poet so many different things is Tim and mainly a Taskmaster contestant on Series 1 of the show. Do get Tim's new book, Mulberry, and if you get a chance, go and see his new show. Here we go around the mulberry bush. Tim is a wonderful performer, wonderful writer.

Go and check all of that out. So let's hear from Tim rather than just chatting about him. This is us talking about Taskmaster Series 6, Episode 6. Tim Key! Welcome back to the Taskmaster Podcast, Tim Key. Oh, thanks for having me. Ed Gamble. Did I distract you there? You sounded like you were being mildly distracted by the podcast starting. No, no. I was thrown, again, mildly thrown by the fact that you said welcome back, because I thought you'd got muddled and thought you were sort of on a radio show.

But then it was because you're welcoming me back to this show where I've been a guest already. You have been a guest already. And on the last episode of the Taskmaster podcast that you were on, you started the podcast by making a joke that you thought that this was the off-menu podcast because we hadn't had you on the off-menu podcast. But now we have. So do you think your mind's going to be fully in the game for this episode of the Taskmaster podcast? Yes I think the last time I was sort of jealously sort of looking at you and sort of you know willing that sort of slim guy to appear next to you and we

start chatting about starters. No I'm not saying I'm not saying you're not slim. Well hang on so you're saying by comparison he's slim right? I'm not sort of I'm not saying you're not slim Hang on, so you're saying by comparison he's slim, right? I'm not saying you're sort of Laurel and Hardy or Little and Large I'm just saying the main thing about Acaster apart from obviously his burgeoning career is that he is a very slender man He is a slender man, that's true

and he's fatty and tiny, that's what they call us And yet again thanks ever so much for having me on that podcast, but here we all are again. Most welcome, but we're back here now. Now, Tim, we're talking about Series 6, Episode 6 today, of course. Well, that's been on my mind for a while, Series 6, Episode 6, so it's good to be able to get some stuff off my chest today.

Has it? Do you remember when it was first broadcast? Do you remember when it first went out oh that's a great question well i'm guessing it was sort of may 2018 was it sort of more june but um but what but was it i think it was june 2018 yeah was that a guess that's not that is fantastic that's beautiful beautiful. I think we might have discussed last time. You probably didn't watch this religiously when it was coming out, did you? No, not religiously. No. No. We did discuss that, the sort of gradual tail off, you know, in terms of how much of this stuff I watch.

And how much one supports one's friend's work. Well, also how much one supports one's own work in the sense that I'm the task consultant now swinging the old dick about the task consultancy when on the last episode you basically said it was nothing and you didn't do anything and you go to the pub with Alex and you would have a couple of drinks and watch him come up with tasks and yet today you seem to have decided to come trumpeting your own achievements and bringing up the task consultancy i thought maybe this time i'd go the other way because i think i've said that in a few interviews but i

think it's now time for me to swing the task consultant dick again i love it get it out go for it so tim maybe now with this new fresh attitude tell tell us more about what being a task consultant entails day to day. Day to day is good. Yeah, I mean, most days I do try and get some other fit in some other work around it. But really, it's sort of wake up and actually you're straight into it. Have a notepad by the bed in case there's anything I've sort of dreamt up overnight. have a notepad by the bed in case there's anything I've sort of dreamt up overnight. And then it's usually a coffee, a black coffee and a donut and get the pen out again and sort of,

you know, sit there on the veranda just sort of lightly musing about things. It's like watching things go past, just thinking about inspiration. Anyway, then it will get to about 10 11 and I'll go for my task consultant walk which which is just sort of around you know Northwest London usually popping into shops galleries museums and things just looking for different objects that might spark something then I tend to go for like a task consultant lunch where I meet one of the former contestants and we just sort of pick each other's brains about I asked them about what tasks sort of worked for them, what they felt more or less comfortable doing, what they felt they could sort of shine in and stuff like that.

Yeah. Then in the afternoon, quick sleep, and then to the office to actually write some of these bloody things up. And I'll usually stay in there till about... Well, I have my five o'clock with Alex, which is a Zoom which is a zoom from five to sort of eight each day where we sort of i feed back to alex and also see if he hasn't you know because he sometimes has ideas for tasks as well and then in the evening i like to just i

have do my own gigs and stuff like that i have a show that i'm doing at the moment that's good also just try and switch off a bit maybe go to the cinema and then another hour before bed where i'd have like an amaretto and just have a good old think about some more sort of maybe outlandish tasks and and also team tasks i tend to think about them and then bed and then away we go again the next day so it's it i'm painting it as something where it's non-stop it's not non-stop it's not as bad as i've just said but yeah there, it's not, you know, you earn your money. Let's put it that way. Yeah.

So why is it specifically with the team tasks that it needs to be later on in the evening with the Amaretto, do you think? Because they don't have to be as good. Yeah, I think that, well, there's two or three comedians there. They'll spark off each other. It doesn't matter what they do.

If they could boil an egg, they'd be funny, some of these people. It's a good point. What were your team tasks? Do you remember? We had to... There was one, I remember, where we had to basically be like Fo artists we had a we had a silent film and we had to do all the sound effects for it so

we had to grab as much as stuff as possible to do the sound effects we had like 10 minutes or something that was very fun yeah um we had one where we had to meet someone and um work out whether he was telling a truth or telling a lie and then we had to do a quiz on his life. Oh yeah, that's quite good. Which was fun. I do remember coming up with that one but yeah, go on, carry on. We had to make a cup of tea but all the stuff was stuck to the table. Oh, that's quite good because I remember coming

up with that but then Alex came up with the idea of all the stuff being stuck to the table. Yeah. I thought that was clever. Yeah, that's good. It's good teamwork that though it's really good teamwork oh we had more we had to make a live board game bring a board game to life

right because that started off with me saying they should play Monopoly yeah it's good because Alex just adds a little twist at the end doesn't he? He adds the stardust, the sparkle. That's what Alex does. But I think Alex is underrated, actually. He's very important to the show. People often forget about that.

He brings a lot to it, for sure. He's in it. He plays Greg's assistant. Is that Alex? That's Alex. Little Alex Horne is Alex Horne. Oh, I never put two and two together. That's amazing. Oh, I never put two and two together. That's amazing.

So, Series 6, Tim, specifically, let's throw out all the lies briefly. This is the first time you've watched it, right? Yes. Yes, yes. So, what do you think of this line-up? Who are your favourite contestants in this? Who are your standout contestants? What do you think of them as a line-up favorite contestants in this? Who are your standout contestants? What do you think of them as a lineup as a whole? I like the lineup. This is a nice lineup. I mean

It's quite varied and it's also got sort of a quite a good mixture for me as which is probably what most viewers are into I suppose the essence of a good Taskmaster lineup is some people you know quite well and also some people that you don't really really know at all so i know russell and um lisa and obviously tim and then i didn't know asim although i since have worked with asim and um alice i didn't know at all yeah they're a good blend i think they're a good mix i mean i really enjoyed watching this episode it's very funny there's some absolute gems in this series they really are uh and no more so than in this uh this fantastic episode so we're gonna we're gonna crack on now we're gonna crack on well what i would say before we crack on is what you want is the most important thing is just you want a little bit of madness in each episode and in each person and you do you definitely get that this is very you know i think

this is a i think this is a good lineup. So let's talk about the prize task, which is the best thing that you've invented. So this is inventions, Tim. I would say possibly not a vintage attempt by anyone this week, but very funny. Straight away, Tim, I'm going to ask you the question. Have you ever invented anything?

And what would you take on to taskmaster you know that's really interesting that you should ask that because i have invented something and um i hate being asked that sort of question but you're lucky that i do have something in mind okay and it's quite simply bag cuffs bag cuffs uh sorry yes bag cuffs yes so um it's bag cuffs so basically this is an invention which is um you have your bag cuffs it's for when you go to the pub and you are unfortunately you find yourself i mean i hate this you find yourself with bag yes you know it's it's after you've had a day where you've been you know out all day working or something like that or in terms of of us like it's it's post gig where you're just in a bar now and you have a bag and worse sometimes you have a laptop in your bag so it's like it's it can in the wrong hands absolutely drive a dagger through your night

and you end up sometimes just literally putting i've done it where i've put my bag i remember when i won the perrier i had to put my um but anyway the point being you don't want to have you don't want to be the tortoise in the pub you don't want to have your rucksack on yeah throughout the whole evening when you're trying to have a good time so bad cuffs so it's um a pair of handcuffs that come um attached to the bag and all you do is you just cuff your bag to um you cuff your bag to a to a chair leg where you cuff your bag to a um a a table leg did i say that already yep chair leg you said chair leg yeah yeah basically a fixed could be your own leg I suppose but you cuff it to something I would argue if you cuff it to yourself it makes it as annoying if

not more annoying yeah absolutely right no you're right but you can cuff it to a radiator or you can cuff it to you know you just look around the pub and you go right I'm cuffing my bag there yeah and you just cuff it on and you've got the key no one else has got the key they're not taking the bag it's a bag cuff and i can't remember whether in my original design i think i think it's just a cuff that comes off the bag so you know like you have your bag straps and stuff like that but there's also a cuff and then the cuff can just go around i mean look um i don't know if people listening to this podcast know that we can see each other but some of your facial expressions at the moment i feel like i'm just

about to get um you know absolutely bannatymed here but basically no no you're gonna bannatyme me i do know you are so that's my that's the end of my are there any questions and i'm looking for i think the maximum i can hope for here is one percent for uh sort of no hang on fifty percent for a hundred pounds okay tim oh wow much for that no i've never seen this side of you no tom say i'm a thief and i've spotted that you've got a laptop in your bag what's to stop me when you're not looking off in the pub gallivanting because you've got a laptop in your bag. Wow. What's to stop me when you're not looking off in the pub, gallivanting because you've got your bag cuffed so you feel secure? What's to stop me unzipping your bag, taking the laptop,

and walking out the pub? I've left you looking like a fool. I got myself a new laptop. Tim, tell me what you've thought of here. Now, that was Duncan Bannatyne, right? Now, the thing is, in these situations, whenever I imagine Bannatyne saying that sort of thing to me, I know my next phrase, and it's quite simply,

absolutely right, never thought of it, and that is why it doesn't work. That is absolutely why it doesn't work. Also, your friend of mine, Scissors. But the main problem is the zip maybe there's a way where the cuff cuffs onto the zip as well yeah like a sort of padlock situation i do think maybe that the answer isn't a bag cuff which you buy for um six pounds from from Amazon and it's your bag cuffs maybe the answer is that there is a bag invented which is very secure and that has a cuff system added to it but you know I was very excited when I

thought of it and but the but I watch a lot of Dragon's Den and I'll tell you what they would be able to do. They'd be able to do a good sort of two or three minutes of suckering the audience into thinking that I'd invented something good. And then another good two or three minutes of making me look like an absolute lemon. And I remember someone going cuffs. Exactly. Someone went in once and they were talking about cucumber. And they said, look, you just put it on the end of the cucumber. Bish, bash, bosh. That's not's not gonna go off anymore and they go okay fine how much is like three pounds okay and what it fits fits snugly does it yeah look

it really grips it right yeah great and you doing any numbers yeah not too bad and then Jones goes yeah you know I do when I want to get my cucumber out of the fridge and it's a little bit softer at the end i cut off half a centimeter and then it's good to go again and all the other dragons go yeah so do we and then the bloke goes yeah to be honest so do i and then that's that oh it's lovely it's lovely stuff so you would have brought in bad cuffs well after we've talked through the rest of the prizes i'll tell you what you would have got um let's talk about uh let's talk about tim vine shall we lovely old tim vine yeah what did vine have vine had uh well tim look for a start i can't believe you've gotten because i know you've just watched this episode because when you logged onto

the zoom call i could hear you watching the end of it oh yeah good point uh no no i watched i've watched this episode several times it's just i kind of have the the end of it is my ringtone yeah okay so vine brought in something that he genuinely invented i believe a stage spade so similar to a stage dagger it's a spade that when you push it into the floor looks looks like you're digging on whatever surface you choose to pretend you're digging on yep um which i can't remember who won this task but that for me is that's that's classic vine and that is just a beautiful bit of props comedy lifted from his live work and placed into the um taskmaster franchise yeah i i love it i've literally written down classic vine this is he won this five points

this is the fourth prize task he's won he's finding it very difficult to win any tasks apart from prize tasks is our vine yeah the prize tasks do play into his hand slightly um what's what's your favorite vine joke i i'll be honest there's a whole set which is my favorite Vine set which I think I've mentioned on the podcast before but um it's the Melbourne set where they have the big revolving stage um at the gala and uh you you're supposed to step off the revolving stage you're like brought round on it and he just stays on it and it goes around and then he gets hard he does like 10 one liners super quick obviously and then he does a fake chat with the audience where he looks to the front row and he goes what's that yeah yeah for a living that that aside i think

is one of my favorite vine uh and of course uh i was in pizza express uh and they brought me a blindfolded horse i said no i want to mask a pony so that's i mean that you're looking at you're looking at the mask a pony joke i think yes i think that he's got some good ones actually um have you ever socialized with him yes a couple of times yeah it's incessant um i mean i remember going to a restaurant with him and uh they say they brought the food over on a tray and he's like tray bien tray bien and you're like well it doesn't stop in a good way in a very good way yeah I think there was one show where

he had a balloon in the shape of a question mark did you see that I think that was of Tim Vane no I'm not sure I did see that one

he kept on sort of trying to you know burst this balloon and then about you know half an hour later he eventually

bursts it and he goes ah finally pop the question what I love about Tim as well is he'll often have a prop commissioned or find a prop when he hasn't written the joke yet because sometimes he'll have like 10 or 11 jokes about the same prop because he's just bought the prop hasn't worked out what he's going to do with it and then just writes based on the prop in front of him

which is incredible yeah yeah it's pretty nice really So, yeah, I would give him five points for his spade. Beautiful stuff. Yeah, five points for that. Next was, let's talk about Russell Howard, because this was one of the, I mean, three items here got one point. Russell Howard brought in cup cereal, a.k.a. eating cereal out of a cup.

It is insane that he thought this was his idea. Well, to be fair, I'd give him this as his idea. I mean, I've never heard of it. What, cereal out of a cup? Never done it. Tim, come on, mate. But you can't, even if you've never done it, the first time you do something like that,

you can't think, oh, I've invented this. No, that's also true. Yeah, so've got i'll go back on my um i agree i agree with you i i think it's stupid the singer alexandra burke quite recently was in an interview and claimed to have brought the phrase elephant in the room over from america Yeah. Yeah. But it's similar to that. And I do like, he looks quite distraught when Greg says, I've eaten cereal from a cup before. This is not your invention. He does sort of look like a piece of his family history

has been shattered in front of his eyes. Yeah, it is heartbreaking. It is heartbreaking. You never want that to happen to anyone, really. So it was one point for Russell. Asim brought in a special pair of 3d printed nike trainers that he had made that was enjoyable i really love assen because he's so gentle and so lovely and i think tries really hard but is quite often just terrible at stuff and this is one of those where he's really

trying to sell it but you can sort of see in his eyes he doesn't believe it the trainers don't look wearable and they're completely white with no design on them. I don't know why this was good. So he designed them, yeah? Well, that's what he said, but they're Air Max 97, so they're already a Nike silhouette. I don't think he added anything to them. Did he have his name on them or anything like that?

I don't think so. Yeah, the thing about it is is i've been on this show and the the the prize tasks are more than well actually no i was gonna say more than any of the other tasks but exactly the same as all the other tasks it's when you're sat there and you know you've got a bad task you know what you've delivered won't do and you just sit there and you watch them interviewing all the other comedians and you watch these amazing objects come out and you're like, well, this is no good because I've literally bought like a dead shrew or something

and I'm going to get told off by that giant. Yeah, I mean, this is the footwear equivalent of a dead shrew, I think. Yeah, it is actually. It was one point for us. Let's stick on shoes. Lisa brought in... Yeah, cactus shoes. Cactus shoes.

She said, I brought in cactus shoes. Greg says, are these just going to be shoes with cactuses attached to them? And that's exactly what they are. But the way she sold it, I think she deserved more points for this. Just the sheer brass neck of just like, I've put some cactus on some shoes, bosh, there we go. Yeah, I think it's fantastic. Yeah, I think a sort of unashamed sort of just strapping something

onto something else and bringing it into Taskmaster is probably the way to go. And they looked, you know, but the thing is, I don't know where that came from. I mean, she must literally just been sort of sat on her sofa and just seen two things in her room and thought glue them to them and see you salute yeah it's such a weird thing to bring in there's no there's no logic to it whatsoever i know it's sort of like me taking in typewriter lamp and just sort of going well

it's really safe though say what you say yeah it does see what you're typing then yeah yeah it's a good idea that that's better than bag cuffs mate oh no better than bag cuffs horrible phrase to hear so i mean for sheer brass neck i think i think lisa might have deserved more for that because i also think there might be a cactus in the dressing room at pinewood i i think she she might have looked at her shoes and then seen what was in the dressing room and gone cactus cactus shoe. Yeah, I think you're probably right. I once did Gabby Logan's breakfast show on Radio 5 Live and she was wearing two different shoes

because she was... Some people work so hard that you just end up just wearing two different shoes and you are where you are. You just pop on whatever's in front of you, right? To be fair, she wasn't wearing one shoe and one cactus. That would have been worse. Yeah.

And finally, Alice Levine. I think this is my favourite. It got one point deservedly, but she'd come up with a device to tether a phone to another one to share battery power. That I really like. It's such a nice... But it's not an invention.

It's not an invention if you don't know how it works. She's come up with an idea. Yeah, I know, I know, I know. But much as I know I shouldn't be, I sort of defend Alice's right on this one. I think I do like inventions that are this genre of I've invented something which basically I want this to happen, but it can't happen.

I mean, and if you're going for it, you're inventing something which is sort of anything, then you would go for like a magic pea that you sort of sellotape to your forehead and you can fly. You wouldn't go for tethering a battery. Yeah, or a pill that makes you immortal, that sort of thing. Yeah, she's set her own boundaries here and then the paucity of ambition is quite magnificent.

Whilst we're on the subject of mobile phones and inventions, I do have another invention. This is an... Phone cuffs? It's not phone cuffs. It's an app, and it might unfortunately slightly fit in with Alice's genre. But what this would be is it's a back scratcher app

and it's um it's a sorry back scratcher yep give you that um it's a it's called back scratcher looks better written or apps up scratch yeah yeah okay back scratch app and um so you have on your on your phone you have a bat you know you open the app and that you've got an image of your back then you just scratch the you scratch you scratch that way where you're itching on your on this image at the back and then that's good that that then scratches your back yeah how is don't back and then that's that that then scratches your back yeah yeah how it is uh don't know and again it's that's why i'm saying it's a slightly levine it's levine territory are you wearing a special jacket that goes with the app or brilliant yes

brilliant fantastic that's what you need you need the you need the um you need the jacket that comes with the app or a sort of spider you know like if you lie down on your front and you put the you put the back scratch app spider on your back in the middle of the back and align everything and then you can remote control it around and the and the the spider can scratch your back yeah yeah why are you looking at me like that that's this is quite the jacket i was willing to go with the jacket but now you've said you need to lie if you get an itchy back you need to lie on your front and put a spider on your back no matter where you are hmm okay well how about oh here we go I don't I don't why is it always a lady idea you do maiden do maiden all right

Tim oh no no no can't do maiden what I would to say is, can I just give you one more app? I know we've sort of got to rattle through the show in a minute, but one more invention. This is, you know how you put your phone on a charger and now you don't have to link them up? You just put your phone on the charger and it fills you up. On like a pad? Yes.

Yeah. Beer pads. Oh, hello. So you put your pint on a beer pad. Not what I thought. So you need your drink replenished, and it's almost down to the bottom, and you put it on a beer pad,

and it fills it back up. Again, it's in the Levine territory. Have you seen that? I mean, but that is possible, because have you seen the beer pumps where they fill from the bottom of the glass? Oh, really? Yes.

I saw one in America once, a concert venue. It was like you had to have a special cup for it. But you push down and they fill up from the bottom. There's got like a little valve on it. It's not impossible that they have that in the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, is it? Well, there you go. No, it's not impossible. So imagine everyone gets their own one of those on the table.

That would be pretty good, wouldn't it? Yeah, pretty good. But mine is slightly better because you can do it with a normal glass and you just put it on like a magic coaster, I suppose, is what you'd probably call it. I don't think it is slightly better because your one isn't real and there's no way of making it real. I've been very, very open about the fact that it's quite a Levine invention.

Well, you say that, but I believe there was a news story a few years ago where essentially what Alice Levine had come up with is now possible. I think with Samsung phones or something, there is some sort of thing where you can put your phone on someone else's phone and they can charge yours with their phone. So Levine's has come home to roost. So this happened to me and I was on the train with my friend James and I said, let me tether for battery. You feed battery into my phone wirelessly and then I will have more battery. And he said, no, because that's not a thing.

You're tethering for i've got your initial designs thank you that's that's what you came up with if you look where it says um laptops and that's a really good example because you can also tether for battery with laptops so i think that's explained everything there is you've come up with an idea that much i will give you yes but you can't just say i've invented something it's like me oh, I've got a hat that turns into a gas. Have you? No. Every veteran has a story.

Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance and more. At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations,

how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Task one, make the best snow globe you have 10 minutes to order your elements then 20 minutes to make your snow globe your time starts now big task tricky task i think i always look whenever i'm watching these things i always you know you think how would you do it and i can never i think

you need to be doing the show to have any idea how to do it because i'm looking at this thinking i don't know what i'm doing with that do you know how you'd make a snow globe no i think this is this is one of those ones where i'm sat there going i need to be in there i need to be forced to do it i need to be forced to actually come up with something i'd be painting i think i'd be painting grains of sand with tippex i mean i'd be all over the place in this one i mean i think it's very easy to look at people and go oh i wouldn't have done that oh no now that they wouldn't have done that side of things i'm on board with and there was quite quite heavy wouldn't have done that stuff in this one i mean when you're seeing

um when you're seeing asim sort of um you know filling condoms up with um i don't know what it was like some kind of weird corn flour whipped cream yeah yeah that's i mean obviously it doesn't take a genius to realize that that's an absolute disgrace what he was doing in that room he must have known that's that's the thing when you're doing a task and you sort of realize it's getting out of hand when you're watching whipped cream slowly squeezing out of a balloon you do sort of think well we are where we are now my best bet here is to be

fifth place but this is quite funny but I don't think he even thinks oh this will be quite funny that I'm doing so badly because you can see in his face he's still genuinely trying when he pops those Jon Snows in that condom and then pumps loads of whipped cream in there he's not laughing and going this is a disaster he is genuinely trying he is genuinely trying i mean as

it well how would you describe a snow globe tim what do you think what elements do you think a snow globe needs to be a snow globe as we understand it oh this is fantastic okay well what you know and i've got into to buying snow globes at various times from various cities for various people, but, um, so I would have, so I would have scene down um you know it's like when you sort of make a nativity model at you know at junior school you want to be making now I think about it I think I might have done quite a good snow globe you want to stick down a scene and there's usually sort of some kind of figure in there who's sort of enjoying enjoying life and then you want lots of um you want snow which looks like no more than a dusting really and you also need the the globe to be full of water but i think as i remember it there's usually a tiny air bubble don't know

why that might be important to it and then so when you spin it round and then spin it back onto its base you need to have a snow that looks like a sort of snow flurry. And it can't be too little, obviously, but crucially, as we see in this episode, it really can't be too much. It can't be a whiteout or cream out, in Asim's case. I mean, Lisa, I think, suffered from the too much snow because I liked the thing she found it

was like a hand whisk jar thing i don't know where she got that from but it was pretty much perfect for a snow globe situation i think once she found it with glitter yeah i think once she found that the the task was very much hers to lose so i don't quite know how she um how she managed did she win the task no she got four points um i think if she hadn't if she'd added i'd say let's say an eighth of the amount of glitter yeah i think it would have been hers surely yeah i totally agree it's difficult to know though because like with a lot of these tasks it's the first time you've attempted to do this thing so you just don't know how much glitter to add to your snow globe but she did she put into she knew she was putting in too much she was being gung-ho

about it she was tar bucking it all over the shop now that's interesting i've not really heard that verb before but yes she did seem to be tar bucking a bit in that task she was tar bucking um i like alice alice's idea of making it the whole room a snow globe i think was a nice idea but not very well executed it's classic levine all over again. But yes, I totally agree. It was a nice idea and putting the dome of the snow globe over Horn's face and then in fact over the camera crew's face.

I mean, it's beautifully shot this series. Fantastic stuff. Yeah, I agree. That's a good idea. What did she get, three points? It was three points, yeah. I mean, I think it was getting the mannequins and putting Billy Bear Ham faces on it that really sort of maybe knocked her a few points off because

it doesn't look quite nightmarish i don't know what at no point was it asked asked of her why she did that or what she was thinking it was just accepted that when alice makes a snow globe she uses face ham and puts it on a mannequin did they use the phrase billy bear ham in the show no i think they use like novelty face ham or in the show? No, I think they used like novelty face ham or something, but that's what it is. It's Billy Bear Ham.

It's funny how everyone has different things in their head, isn't it? Because you've got the phrase Billy Bear Ham in your head ready to go whenever you need it. I've never heard

the phrase Billy Bear Ham. Have you not seen Billy Bear available at a supermarket deli counter? This is fantastic. Nope, but I think this afternoon I might put on my Taskmaster Consultant suit and go and have a little look at a deli counter this is fantastic nope but i think this afternoon i might um put on my taskmaster consultant suit and go and have a little look at a deli well don't don't go to a

proper deli it's more like a supermarket one but they're horrifying because they come in long sort of almost big sausages oh long billy bears yeah and then you slice off you very yeah carefully slice off you know sort of sheets of the face it's horrible like a torture scene sheets of the face. It's horrible. Sheets of the face. I'm glad that's not how we're made. Yeah. A thousand

Edds arriving on the planet 35 years ago, sliced down and plonked around the world. I think it's just the way the ham was slapped onto the mannequin as well and it just stayed there there's just something kind of gross about it something uncanny about it, I didn't like it

let's talk about Tim Vines this I think may be my favourite because he has an idea, he knows it's not going to necessarily be the best one but he knows it's going to be funny and he sticks with it, he makes a lovely little snowman out of satsumas and grapes puts it in a food blender with water and rice and then blends the whole thing it's a one-use snow globe it's a one-use snow globe and yes again if i've thought of that in the room i'm absolutely

then loving doing the task because it just has a it has its own trajectory yeah it didn't disappoint he's making it he must have been feeling very very relaxed making it because he knows what's coming next he puts it in and then what's coming next is just a thing of beauty it's just a um a blended figurine and the and the obvious whiteout which follows. Yeah, for me, that's the five points, I think, just because it's so destructive. Did he not get the five points? No, he didn't. No, he got the three.

I mean, he got the three. Russell got the five points. Well, that's interesting, isn't it? I do like Russell's. I think Russell's was the one, he was the one who made the effort to make it look the most Christmassy and look the most like a snow globe.

But he didn't have one of the elements did he he didn't have the turn it up no he didn't have water and he didn't have turn it upside down turn it back up again and there's snow no because he put the snow in but they were sort of gently wiggling it about and the snow didn't go anywhere which i'd say is the main thing about a snow globe. What do you think about Greg sometimes? What do I think about him? What do you think about Greg sometimes? Great friend. Well, I like the guy, but sometimes his judging.

What do you think about sometimes Greg's judging? Well, I think what Alex would say to you is that, you know, it's all based on the whim of Greg. We're not talking about what Alex would say to me. I'm talking about what Ed Gamble thinks about Greg's judging. Sometimes I think his judgments are wrong, but that's fine. That's all part of the

experience of Taskmaster because it is based on the judgments are based on the whim of one man. So they're not predictable, which is what's exciting about it. But in this case case he's wrong wow do you think you could ever get sacked from your podcast yes from this podcast yes absolutely for that kind of indiscretion well i tell you what should you fall should you fall should you fall yeah

Should I fall? Should you fall? Yeah. Should you fall? I would love to step into your little Denon earphones. Should you fall? Well, you're most welcome should I fall. But what if I fall and then Horn falls? Then the show ends and I'm doing a podcast.

I'm going over the old ground. Are you not stepping in the stead of Horn? Step in the stead of Horn. Step in the stead of Horn. Has there ever been an example of a Taskmaster consultant being promoted to Assistant Taskmaster? I don't think there's really a precedent for it, no. I'm not sure how many people have task task consultants around the various franchises of the taskmaster world it's a great job you should be task taskmaster consultant is fantastic job I don't have enough time man it sounds really it sounds really heavy on the old shed you know what you make time it's amazing even whilst doing it i've written a couple of books um you know it's amazing

how much stuff you can fit in around it yeah new show and you know i do a bit of acting and stuff like that you can you know it's about time management you needn't eat up all of your time task consultant yeah that's good to know maybe maybe one day um so look five points for russell four points for lisa three points for alice and tim and of course one point for asim as per he's holding a sledge he's bringing a sledge home this obviously i'm hoping will create the effects I'm after. So there it is. It's like a showbiz sandstorm. Nobody knows what the hell's going on.

Right, OK, away you go. There you go, there's the sledge. Shall we turn it off and see how the snow falls? Yeah. It's nice, isn't it? In every way you look, he's left elements of his smile. Task two. It's a team task, Tim, so this is an amaretto task. Knock over as many ducks as possible you must all remain on the red carpet throughout the task you have five minutes your time starts now so i don't know if this is one of yours but of course they're they're all on a red carpet and the ducks are quite far away they have a watermelon with them um but they've got to knock over as many ducks as possible

in any way but staying on the red carpet essentially yeah and this this falls very very firmly into a well-trodden sub-genre of taskmaster task fails where they start doing it and their plan is to just hop along on the red carpet to get closer to the ducks i.e life hack and they get halfway and the plan is working perfectly and then for no reason they stop and say let's let's start throwing melons at the ducks yeah it's almost people work out a way around the rules sometimes then second guess themselves and panic and establish new rules in their head that they feel like they need to sort of semi semi do the task in the way that it was originally presented it's a very odd psychological phenomena.

Do you think it's because of this sort of, you know, the dreaded Paul of Greg Davis sort of hanging over these people where they can only get so close with the red carpet and then they sort of feel the clouds, you know, drifting in front of the sun and the whole thing suddenly becomes sort of doom laden and they think we're in trouble here greg greg will get wind of this so let's stop here and he may show some kind of leniency maybe but i also think greg is quite

on board with the with the little loopholes i think he enjoys that when people are smart so so yeah i think ask him lisa and tim who are the ones we're talking about who moved the carpet for a bit then smash the melon up they should have got closer and just done it all in one because they only managed 78 ducks and they could have done all of them um but they did start throwing their shoes i enjoyed that tim was very excited to take his shoes off and throw them very giddy to take his little hat off as well didn't he ball his socks he pulled his socks as well at the end yeah his commitment is full on this show he's always 100 committed and he always looks in a hurry and panicking to do everything and i love that uh yeah i think you have i think

you have to be i mean when i was on this show myself and i feel like when you're um when you're when you're faced with a task you know all the only thing you've got up your sleeve really is industry. That's the one thing you can always... It's like when you see football and there's footballers and some are blessed with more or less skill than the others, but at least you've got to try hard. You've got to go out there and run the hard yards. But do you?

Because I was the same where I would just, I'd find something and be like, right, you've got to go. And I'd be running everywhere chaotically, like Tim does and like you were saying you did. But then Lisa, who's brilliant at Taskmaster, is trying hard, but she would never do that. She'd stop, she'd think about it, and then she'd be laser precision.

Well, you know what? Now that you've said that, I agree with that now that you've just said. You're very easy to convince, Tim. Yeah, I think it's better to just take a moment and just work out what you need to do. Oh, no, I'm not saying that's better. I'm saying that there are two ways of doing it, you know.

That's what I'm now saying, yeah. Two ways of doing it. None better than the other. More than two, probably. Well, this is what I'm starting to think. There's probably more than two ways of doing it none none better than the other more than two probably well there's well this is what i'm starting to think there's probably more than two ways of doing it because well one way is to just go mad and just first thing you think and then just throw everything at it yeah another way is to sort of think about it and just think now what is the best way of doing it um there's also i think there might be one which is the deliberate throwing

of the task where you just sort of go yeah don't know how to do it, I'll just make a disgrace of myself. Yeah. And then I suppose the fourth method, which you would never really choose, is you try really hard, but you just can't do it. Yeah. Which, that's him. That's him. Let's talk about Team Funk. Russell and Alice both worked out the shuffle method

they got there in the right way not with complete dignity not huge dignity if you're saying that's the right way to get places I'm saying it's the right way round of the contestants certainly was the right way round of the contestants we had Russell at the front and then

Alice bringing up the rear exactly yeah and they did it very well and it was good teamwork We had Russell at the front and then Alice bringing up the rear. Exactly, yeah. And they did it very well and it was good teamwork and they knocked over all the ducks and then heartbreak as Russell stretches for the final duck. His eyes were bigger than his belly and he stepped off the rug. I always feel sorry for people when that happens where you've done the task in good faith

and then you sort of make one tiny accidental mistake. I accidentally pulled in one of my tasks when I did the show. I accidentally removed a plug from the bath. Yes. I had to empty a bath as quick as I could and the plug came out while I was emptying it. And so stuff like this this where Russell just accidentally puts a foot down, I feel for the guy. Heartbreaking.

Yeah, yeah, very sad. So it was nought points for them and the big five for Asim, Lisa and Tim. I don't remember that bit. I also don't remember the way we positioned. Properly gave him a shunting. Yeah

Why not we disqualified well the rules weren't jump up and down on the carpet look like you're getting rear-ended Then put your foot wherever you want I don't want to rub it in by the way and then put your foot wherever you want. That's what they want. See, that's how I read it. We miss her. I don't want to rub it in, by the way, but I just realised I did write down your initial quote during that task, and it was, and I quote, we're going to piss this. Task three, make an announcement.

Best announcement to the most people wins. You have 12 weeks. Your time starts now. Got to say, I'm going to say it at the top, I think everyone sort of let themselves down here a bit. Apart from Aston. This is a good task, in my from us this is a good task in my opinion it's a good task I might be wrong but I think this might have been one of mine

this was one of yours was it now I might be wrong but I think this one was on the mind what would you have done Tim a big announcement well I mean it's interesting, isn't it?

Because this was a task where they didn't have to do it in the house. This is one where do a big announcement at some point. Yeah, yeah. 12 weeks they had. 12 weeks to do it. I think I might have been, you know, you've got to go big, haven't you? I think I might have tried to, I think I might have announced my engagement in a newspaper. That might have been a nice thing to do.

Oh, nice. Yeah. To who? Maybe to one of the other contestants. That's nice. Without them knowing. maybe to one of the other contestants because that's nice without them because if you're not actually if you're not actually engaged then you're sort of really like the world your oyster right you can you can choose whoever you want to announce the engagement that's nice yeah to one of the other contestants that's great yeah i i think that's what that would be the good thing

to do i think or or you know i don't know yeah it's basically that would be what i'd do but it's a question, you're right, who to is crucial, maybe it's more fun to do it to someone I don't know who they are they don't know me I think I've thought about this, I think I'd try you've got 12 weeks, I could try and get on at some sort of massive live event

be it a fellow comedian's arena show or some sort of sports event and just walk out into the middle of the pitch and say you've got diarrhoea or something. You know, like, really, really go for it. It's size of announcement versus importance of announcement is quite a good way round of doing it. To tell 40,000 people that you've chipped your fingernail,

that's quite nice. But I feel like... That is nice. I'll tell you what, announcing your own death would be interesting. It's interesting how big you want to go with it, isn't it? But yes, I think... That's quite big.

Well, both of those options are probably better than the majority of them here. Russell Howard really let himself down here and he knows it. He said he was going to go to India and he was going to do some great thing and then he literally, in a break of filming, he just shouted at some dogs

and his mum dropped him right in it and went, well, no one was listening. It's just, it's so upsetting. Well, it didn't help that it was press aid by him saying, I've got to quickly do this for Taskmaster. I've got to do this. One sec. Are you okay?

Are you still rolling? Honestly, it's just this other show. It won't be a sec. It didn't look like it was a priority. And you know what? Sure. I'm sure it wasn't and that's fine but you know slap a smile on get it done cut the big cut the thing off the beginning say when you uh when you send this to taskmaster maybe nip the uh nip the bit off the beginning where i say i've got to do something quickly for Taskmaster just so I look like I'm concentrating on it yeah I agree uh Vine Vines was good I enjoyed Vines Vine was making great Vine was trying to do um to write announcement at Bristol Airport in very

big letters and got caught by the police once he'd written AN so actually I don't I don't really lump Vine in with the rest of them here. I feel like Vine had a plan and unfortunately got the wrong side of the law accidentally. But I think when you're interpreting it that literally, that you are making a big announcement and you don't write the full word announcement,

you've got to have some points knocked off for that, right? He made a big an. I'm not suggesting that he should have had some points added on, but feel like it his heart was in the right place he had i mean he must have driven to bristol i mean yeah did he did i mean i don't know why he chose bristol no maybe it would be easier to get yeah i don't know i like it though and i like the way it played out just the second picture being being the police arriving is very funny i think i would have potentially found a rooftop you know we probably both know someone with a rooftop in london and then written announcement

very large and then found um person two to get use their drone to take some drone footage that's good that's good well it could be single person one they could have a roof and a drone right so you you you'd hold out until you found someone who had both of those things well nice to do the double right yeah um so it's four points for Tim. Alice just tweeted about a quattro for Maggi pizza, having four types of cheese and not four times cheese. So not only was the announcement not big, it was also, I mean, it was, how many? It got 11 retweets, not great.

Well, the problem is, I think these tasks, we had one like this when I went on this show, and it was, I think it was get, do something, buy something for Greg for his birthday. And he had 12 weeks. And that was the one I did. I did the worst. I mean, I was, I hated it because it got closer and closer to actually doing it. I think I've got my book token.

They are quite difficult, these ones. They do get in your head. In your series, did you have one where you had to do it over the series no none which i would have i would have liked that i would have liked to have done buying a buying a gift for greg or doing something like that yeah but the thing is all of those are trumped by widdicombe getting the tattoo in series one i know anyway so they're sort of it wouldn't matter what you've done yeah nowhere else to go um You can get a bigger tattoo. So Lisa used her radio show.

And as far as I can work out, Lisa did nothing. Is what I'm getting. She said, well, I do announcements on my radio show all the time. They said, okay, well, what was the announcement? She's like, well, anything counts as an announcement. Happy birthday, Sue. So as far as I can work out, Lisa did absolutely nothing and said that her announcements happen every day on her radio show.

This should be zero points for Lisa. It should be zero points. And it looked like she'd mentally checked out of this challenge. Totally. And she does it a couple of times across the series. And you know what? It makes me laugh every single time

because she's so honest about it. I believe in this one she said, you know when you just get a right cob on and you can't hear. Yeah, she was furious. Absolutely furious. And so didn't do the task. I don't know. I respect it.

I don't remember ever not doing one, but I totally respect it because there's some way you're just doing the task and you just think, I'll just get a cob on and then still do the task. And actually, I do quite respect the fact that she just wipes her hands of it and goes, no, I'm not doing that bit of Taskmaster.

You know, the producers of Taskmaster aren't going to get in touch and say, well, we're going to have to just slightly readjust your fee because three of them you got a cob on and didn't do. Yeah, there's nothing about a cob in the contract, is there? There's no cob clause. No. Asim, I believe it was in the previous episode, announced that he was a vegan.

And out of context, the week before, it was so weird and so funny. Yeah. Because, I mean, as Greg says in this episode, we all thought you'd lost your mind. And it comes back on this episode. It's genius. Did he get five points?

Yes. Yeah, and rightly so. And it comes back on this episode. It's genius. Did he get five points? Yes. Yeah, and rightly so. That was good stuff from Asim. That was very nice. Really, really clever. Taking a bit of a hit in the first case and then the chickens come home to roost. Yeah, good move.

Yeah, really good move. I mean, or he thought of it basically on the day that he knew he had to have the prize task. He suddenly had a flash of inspiration because he hadn't sorted anything else out oh that's true

both episodes recorded in the one evening you think yeah yeah both the same day I'd imagine fantastic yeah very good

so well done either way to Asim yeah five points for Asim four points for Tim two points for Lisa two points for Alice and one point for Russell

while we're here can I quickly do a Taskmaster thing? Yeah. Is that alright? Dogs of India, be quiet! I hope that was okay. That's a little thing I have to do in an announcement. But nobody listened.

Task four, make the best parachute for this wooden spoon. You have 10 minutes to order your materials and then 10 minutes to make your parachute. Slowest and most dramatic fall wins. Your time starts now. Tricky. I would have panicked at this one, Tim. I would also have panicked. I don't know how I'm getting...

I'm not great at parachutes. Well, I'm okay at parachutes. Well, actually, I I'm getting... I'm not great at parachutes. Well, I'm okay at parachutes. Well, actually, I'm not bad. I'm not bad at parachutes. I'd say I'm pretty good at parachutes. I have a... Lovely to go on that journey with you there. Did you come with?

Yeah, I was with. Oh, thanks, mate. I have... Do you have a spare key for your house that you leave with someone? Yes, yes, we do, yeah. How near the house are they? Probably a bit too far away.

Then occasionally we give a key to, say, actually, Cleaner's got a key. That's probably it, yeah. Is it worth leaving a key? Quite nearby. Should I have a key maybe? Probs not, I'd say. Okay, okay. Well, my key is left with um uh lenny

and um he was he lived in a flat and uh like a second floor flat so uh my key's on a parachute and uh because you know you don't want to like have the key thrown down i don't i don't need him coming you're only going to get locked out of your house realistically you know in the middle of the night so it's on a parachute and you'd go well I'm locked out so does Lenny live in the block of flats Lenny lives in the block of flats not my block of flats he lives about a five minute walk so okay I'm locked out okay come and get the key I'll walk round and then let's go I'm out I'm underneath your window and then this sort of beautiful parachute starts gliding down with my wow yeah and i catch i can actually catch it and just walk away it's a beautiful system that's great have you ever

have you ever not forgotten your keys but thought i just want to see the parachute in action it is that is in my opinion you ask some good questions you know you you do this for a living i think that's the best question i've heard you ask that's beautiful why would you not i should i mean i should go around there more and just see it happen yeah but no i don't really i mean i like parachutes i used to like in you know enjoy like throwing action men out of the window. Yeah, yeah. But how to shoot from a spoon? It's hard, and I'm not very practical with things like that,

so I think this helium balloon idea that some people had was very strong, I thought. Yeah, I like that. Asim has that issue where I think I get quite a lot as well, where I imagine something working in my head, but I haven't worked out exactly how to do it, so it's just an absolute disaster. It's quite sad to watch, really.

Yeah. There was something beautiful about those helium balloons. But the Tarbark one, were you allowed to order a parachute? I assume not. You couldn't just say, I want a parachute. No, I guess not. And it's against the spirit, isn't it, Tim? Yeah, that would be against the spirit.

I mean, I suppose what you need is you need experience of parachute stuff and i don't know actually i think a square but i might have been okay a square bit of cloth and four bits of string and then just really get it but you know that probably would mean heavy, that cloth. And yeah, Lisa just, I mean, that's, that's one of the greatest, sometimes you see a task and there's, it's,

it's not because it's mad or they've, it's just, it's just a beautiful, honest piece of craft hour. And that's what we saw with Lisa, just sitting down, cutting some, what was it?

A bin bag. I think the bin bag. Yeah. Making a parachute out of a bin bag i think the bin bag yeah making a parachute out of a bin bag but just that beautifully and it was unfurled the unfurl was beautiful well that's always the enjoyable thing with a parachute i imagine particularly when you're the parachutist it must look so nice when that's when that thing comes out nicely yeah relief i'd imagine have you done it i've never done it i don't think I don't think I'd like to do that. Any of that jumping out of a plane or parachuting, no, thank you, or bungee jumping.

Why would you do that? Would you do it if you and I did it, maybe? I don't think that's what was stopping me initially, Tim, to be honest. I've not looked at free divers and gone, I would never do that, unless... Well, me and Alex were talking about taking you out. Oh, yeah.

Not as in, like, a hit job. What, so you can have the podcast? You're trying to make me fall? No, no, no. Should you fall, I'll happily step in, but I'm just saying, we're thinking about taking you out because we took Greg out recently and that seemed to work quite well as a format.

I don't know whether Greg saw it as being taken out. When you say it worked well as a format, you mean going out with friends worked well. Well, we took John Robbins out and so we're now sort of thinking we might open that up know open that up and take someone else out so what i'm what i'm asking you is would you be would you would you be happy to go and do some parachuting with me and al i tell you what i would do tim and here's a good compromise because i'd love to be taken out by you too um one of those uh indoor skydiving things where they basically blow that you basically get

in a tube and they blow air from below you really hard and then it's like you're riding the air i'm sure i could i'm sure i could get that through um horn we could definitely take you to one of those places great good right take me out okay um i was just thinking to me with your parachute if you got this task could it you could order your materials could you order alex go and get your spare key off lenny oh really good and then take the key off the parachute because it's not just one key it's like a key ring with with two or three on it that might weigh about the same as a wooden spoon yeah i feel like you could do that yeah maybe yeah maybe, maybe, yeah, yeah, maybe. Okay, cool.

Look, it was five points for Lisa, easily. Alice and Asim both did the helium balloon method with mixed results. Asim's was an absolute disaster. He ends up going with the dart on a stick. And he's poking at it, and it just drops quite quickly. He looks like someone from the council has been hired to get a pigeon out of a town hall like he's just jabbing wildly but also it was dropping quite quickly when he decided to pop more balloons

he thought i need i need to arrest this um brisk descent so i suppose let's let's lose some of these things yeah disaster i mean alice's works quite well the staple gun was a good idea and it's pretty cool but what i think a lot of people are forgetting on this task is most dramatic where's the drama lisa had the drama and the slow defense tim had the drama at least we'll come to tim's but you know russell broadly forgets the drama until the last second there's no drama from asim and alice has no drama it looks cool firing the staple gun but where's the little scene around it yeah that's a very very good point i don't know what i mean i suppose part of it in terms of drama you want to potentially um doll up the wooden spoon in a very literal sense you want to turn that into a character

yeah um which did tim do that tim tim did that i believe it was sarge i believe it was the sergeant don't do it sarge yeah yeah and and there's a moment here where you see tim directing what he wants to happen so he's not being silly tim he's just saying i want you to cut in close here uh and then and then he says and that'll be your drama and you know what because you don't see him often like that. There's something quite sexy about Tim directing. Yeah. He knows what he wants and he's authoritative.

Yeah, I completely agree. I'm very sorry. I've just thought I'd think of how I might do it. Okay. And I think where I might be, the direction I might be going in is inflatable doll. Oh, yeah. A sexual doll?

I don't know whether you can get non-sexual inflatable dolls. Can you? Companion doll? It's like a lilo or something, like a lilo. Yeah, no, it would be an inflatable doll, and then it would be, but I'd make sure it was dressed. It wouldn't be naked. And then it would be but I dress and I'd make sure it was dressed it wouldn't be naked and then it would be insert horrible phrase actually I don't mean in giving the context yeah I suppose I'm what I want is the wooden

spoon to be inside the doll so but I don't mean it like that so don't where how else would the wooden spoon be inside the doll that in bearing in mind you're buying one of these dolls there are a couple of places, or three with some of them, if you're getting a deluxe model, where the spoon would most likely go. So to not use one of those orify would be silly, right? You're absolutely right, but I think there's some... It's not that kind of show.

I mean, I don't know how Andy Devonshire, the director, is shooting me inserting a wooden spoon into this um sex doll i think i might just for for ease for for all for all concerned i might stick the um i might stick the doll on the stick the spoon on the doll's back so basically the the spoon is still falling but you're now looking at a human and then if I'm watching that though Tim, I'm going, well they've cut a lot out where Tim tried to put the spoon inside the doll

and then Andy Devonshire had to step in and say why don't we tape it to its back no but I'd make sure they filmed me saying I think we should stick the spoon to its back Andy but I think that's a great shout yeah i say i say that's a great shout andy about sticking the um inserting the spoon but i think we stuck the spoon to this to this uh this this um yeah uh parachutist's back yeah it's not that sort of show andy so i wonder if you can get a military um inflatable doll

i'm sure you can. There's something for everyone, isn't there? Perhaps something to think about on me, you and Horne's date night. Not date night, but, you know, when we go to this... Yeah. Tim's was very dramatic. Like I say, sexy with That'll Be Your Drama, but then he does his swearing, bums on seats, flippers, etc.

Yeah. And I think the drama deserved... He deserved another point just for the level of drama he put in did he get another russell he well he got three points but i think he deserved four because i really enjoyed the story in the drama um russell's uh right i quite like the story that russell had uh but he didn't put much invest much into the drama until just coming up with it on the spot that the spoon was being dropped down for some girl guides who hadn't eaten for a long time

and it's the first spoon they've seen in weeks. I did like that backstory but unfortunately the parachute wasn't great so it was two points for Russell. One point for Asim, two points for Russell, three points for Tim, four points for Alice and the big five, Beliza.

What had Sarge done? Yeah, give us some backstory. Well, I was on a sort of cliff edge. Yeah. And he'd been trying to defuse a bomb that was hanging in a tree. OK. But you'd got a post-bombed or not? Well, we met at mealtimes, but...

LAUGHTER And it's the moment at which he thinks he's defused it and he's about to jump away from the bomb and I know that his parachute is not really going to hold him up. So you accidentally caused Sarge's death? Yeah. Wait, so when you said, what have you done, you were talking to yourself? To yourself! Oh! Oh, my God! Goosebumps. And that's why, at when you said, what have you done, you were talking to yourself? To yourself. Oh, my God.

Goosebumps. That's why at the end my face crumples, because it's too much for me to bear. Let's quickly look at this live task. You'll each be given a category. You each have ten seconds to say things that fall into that category. First, you must each predict

how many correct answers you will give. The person who has successfully predicted the highest number wins. Now, I think if this was you, you tim this is playing right into your hands i think you're predicting a big number for yourself right i go high and i get them i go high and i get them how long do they have to name them 10 seconds how many how many are you saying um i'm only going to go for well it's difficult to know i'm looking at my competitors, my fellow competitors and I'm thinking I need to go high and I also need to get them

I'm probably going to I'm going to press myself to go for a 7 You're going to go for a 7 right? Let me get the timer up and running Here we go You'll be getting your category shortly

Fantastic, thanks Ed, thought this might happen No worries, here we go I'll keep it getting your category shortly. Fantastic. Thanks, Ed. I thought this might happen. No worries. Here we go. I'll keep it very simple as well, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. I'm looking for... Yeah.

So I'm looking for seven, Tim. Yeah. I'm looking for seven reptiles. Go. Lizard, newt, crocodile, alligator, Komodo dragon. Oh, dear. Oh, dear dear chameleon oh no oh no toad frog oh no no no no time's up oh no no no no unfortunately i can't accept toad toad frog or total frog separately so you got you got six there tim you're so close oh no no no no no

there's so many of those things how can i go through that whole incident without mentioning my favorite reptile the old guy oh the poor gecko uh alice does better with crustaceans she gets five five crustaceans i believe it is um including the boston bay bug which is the type of slipper slipper lobster um asim gets four countries uh russell gets three colors tim gets uh three countries and lisa fails to name five continents she has an absolute brain fart but i don't think she cares um and she loses the episode uh to tim she comes second though tim gets 23 points lisa gets 20 points asim on 17 points alice on 17 points and 12 points for russell lisa still well ahead in the series though at this point and there she will remain Tim, thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast.

Always a pleasure, Ed. Always a pleasure. And then, yeah, I'll talk to Alex about maybe organising that, taking you to one of those. Indoor skydiving. Indoor skydiving, yeah. Thank you, thank you. And can I just double check? If we can't get indoor skydiving, would outdoor skydiving be okay?

No. I'm happy to. The only replacement for indoor skydiving would be coming over and watching Lenny drop a key out of a window. Okay, perfect. Yeah. Feels like there's a lot of middle ground that we're missing out there. That was the section I sort of budgeted to promote your book and show.

Fantastic. Book, here we go, around the Marbury Bush, available from all good bookstores. And also, he is thought as a wife, ditto. Show, Marbury, and I think Theants in uh april the 10th to the 25th right tim thank you very much for coming back on the taskmaster podcast you're of course welcome back anytime i will now ask you to wait rate your experience on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the taskmaster please tim um that one was what did i rate it

last time do you know i can can't remember, I'm hoping a five, but although you're a bit of a wag sometimes, so maybe it was a three Yeah, well I'll give you a five Thank you! I mean I always enjoy talking to you It was a lovely old time, thank you very much for coming on the Taskmaster Podcast, Tim Key

There we are Thank you very much to Tim for coming coming and chatting about that episode don't forget to go and get his book mulberry and also go and see his live show here we go around the mulberry bush by the way next week uh our special guest is the brilliant sarah candle we've already recorded it so no emails will make it onto the show but do feel free to email about potential future guests and anything you want answering about Taskmaster Taskmaster podcast at gmail.com we will see you next week goodbye Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing.

With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative.