Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 80. Chris Ramsey - S13 Ep.5

Episode Date: May 12, 2022

This week on the podcast Ed is joined by comedian and podcast superstar Chris Ramsey.  Chris and Ed discuss the joys of being on Taskmaster and why he checked his dressing room for bugs and hidden cameras. They go through each task and drill down in o why Chris is made for the show.   Watch Series 13 of Taskmaster every Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Taskmaster the Podcast is Produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance and more. At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble. I'm here every week to chat about a new episode of Taskmaster. This week we will be chatting about Series 13, Episode 5, with the wonderful Chris Ramsey. Chris Ramsey, of course, He's on Taskmaster Series 13. So we're going to chat to him about how much he enjoyed his experience on Taskmaster.

We'll be talking about this particular episode, which I must say is not a great episode for Chris. So it's absolutely hilarious that this is the one we're talking to him about. He's had too many victories. He's had too easy for too long on this series. It's about time he had a little bit of the shine taken off. And this is the episode to do it.

Very much looking forward to chatting to Chris about Taskmaster in general and about this particular episode. Of course, Chris is well-versed in the podcast game. You should all go and listen to Shag Married Annoyed, which is his podcast with his wife, Rosie. I'm sure you listened to it already. It's huge.

And as I'm sure Chris will bring up, it wins all of the podcast awards. But lovely to catch up with Chris. Can't wait for that chat. Come and see me on tour. I'm doing my show, Electric, starting again in September. We've extended the tour, including a massive show at London's event in Hammersmith Apollo.

Edgamble.co.uk for tickets. Would love to see you there. But for now, this is Taskmaster Series 13, Episode 5, as discussed with the wonderful Chris Ramsey. Welcome, Chris Ramsey, to the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you very much for having us, Ed Gamble. Very exciting. It's very exciting to have you on here, Chris.

It's very exciting to have you on Taskmaster as well It's very exciting to have you on Taskmaster as well. We're absolutely loving watching you on it. Thank you, mate. It was a joy. Joy. Genuinely one of the best jobs I've done in telly.

Genuinely. Yeah, we've spoken about this privately in our little private chats and you absolutely loved it, didn't you? Yeah, it was incredible. Yeah, and my wife Rosie was astonished on a daily basis

that I wasn't phoning her at the end of the day going, oh, I'm sick of this. Oh, I don't like them. Oh, there's this, there's one of them's a dickhead and blah, blah, blah. I'm not a hard person to work with, but I'm very much a petulant child

if I'm not having a fantastic time. My wife will hear every detail of why I'm not having a fantastic time. And she was like, yeah, she was like, he hasn't phoned up kicking off or anything. This must be really good, sure. So yeah. I guess you telling your wife about things you're angry about is very much part of the bread and butter of your career now as well.

She knows what she's signed up for. She knows exactly what she's signed up for. Yeah, she's got to hear when I'm having a horrible time. But genuinely, I mean, obviously, like, strictly when I, you know, it's probably the only other thing I've done that's been as, anywhere near as intense as Tasmoc. Because you're in the house for, like, days on your own. Like, you're not, it's like Big Brother, as we all know. You're not, like, staying over.

But even, like, strictly extremely difficult and horrible and painfully and mentally, you know, these guys, they're like top athletes. And you're being a top athlete to music for 13 weeks. It's hell. It's fun, but it's hell. But Tasmoc, it's just totally up my street, mate. And just just lovely and i'm sure everyone who comes on here says how good the team are but they're geniuses they're just yeah everyone does say that but i don't think we should stop saying

it because they are absolutely brilliant and it does it really it really is why the show is so brilliant i think because everyone working on it is so good um and you say strictly was intense but i think wasn't jud Judy doing Strictly at the same time as Taskmaster? I mean, that was madness. Well, yeah, but she didn't get the semifinals, did she, Edward? Now, yeah, I couldn't, she was coming in,

like, I think she was training with, I think she was dancing with Graziano, and he was, like, coming and doing a couple hours dancing with her, and then she was, like, hobbling onto the studio set. It's a good job we were sitting down for the taskmaster studio days because i'm telling you she was hobbling in and hobbling out ask anyone there for about three of the days i was just whenever she wore it anyway i was just on her arm just holding her up because she was just in agony

so difficult that's the thing about strictly it's like those dancers the obviously they make it look easy and effortless because it's dancing and you go, ah, they're just dancing. I mean, we've all danced, but Jesus, the level they do it to. And yeah, poor Judy, man. I mean, amazing, amazing. So before you came on board with Taskmaster, Chris, had you seen much Taskmaster? Because there's a little bit of chat

flying around about this. Because I've spoken to Lou Sanders, who is obviously a Taskmaster champion and also hosts another podcast about Taskmaster, Taskmaster, the People's Podcast. And she's like, Chris is so good. He's so competent.

He knows exactly what he's doing. He must have seen every episode. Not one. No. So this is what I did say to her. And I'll tell you why. Go on. You know me well, Ed.

I'm just going to cut in here because I know you're dancing around it. Let's just go straight to the chat. I'm going to be 100% honest here. I heard Taskmaster was getting made when I heard the show. I was doing a pilot for one of my shows back in the day. And I was doing little da made when I heard the show. I was doing a pilot for one of my shows back in the day, and I would do little daft little tasks in the show. And then someone in the office said,

oh, no, there's a show called Taskmaster that they're about to make, which is all about that, so we need to sort of steer clear of that. Because you came on a couple of my shows and did some daft bottle flipping. Yes, yeah, yeah. And then it was like, oh, that. And they sat us down and basically told us what Taskmaster was, and I was oh my god that sounds like my that's so up my street and i'm in the office opposite taskmaster in the avalon building mate i'm in the opposite office and i've got me the name one they've got taskmaster i've got chris ramsay's room and i don't

i'm like okay they're probably just gonna talk across the old corridor and ask us to be on 13 bastard series later honestly like i like, I'm not, again, I'm pitting myself in a bad light here, I come home and whinge to my wife when I've had a bad day, I'm not, you know,

I don't throw me toys out of the pram very often, but I threw me toys out of the pram for 13 series, just sitting with me arms crossed going, I'm not watching it, I'm not having it. I love,

I love this, it's honest of you, it's remarkably honest, and what I would say is that no one, no one can think badly of you for doing that. Because if you're listening now and you're not a comedian, every comedian does that, but no one would actually say it out loud.

Chris is just the only one saying it out loud. Honestly, honestly, like, oh, he has a program, Chris, that basically it's as if Alex Horne has climbed into your head and pulled out what you would love to do nine to five every single day with other comedians having a right laugh, and Greg Davey's taking the piss out of you which is always a joy. Oh no we've got every other comic, some of them aren't even employed in this building, like we're gonna go we're gonna outsource them, we're gonna walk past you Chris and slap you in the face and get every other fucker in. Oh what's that, that's the guy who does the voice on Love

Island, oh get him in as well, get everyone in, i'm joking obviously ian sterling good mate of mine but like yeah so it was like i'm no i wasn't going to watch any others because i didn't want you know it's like inviting all the comics in the world to come in and do kissing on my wife and me just sitting and watching them no chance i i sort of i did something similar quite early on with taskmaster where i was like oh if you're not going to have me on i'm not going to watch it and then i had quite so many friends go on that I was like, I'm going to have to watch it to be supportive. And then once I'd seen one episode, I was like,

now I'm going to have to watch the whole thing from the beginning, aren't I? I mean, yeah, that's the thing though, I've got the back catalogue now, which is great because I'm not spoilt and childish and upset and hurting anymore. It's not raw anymore, so I can go back and watch them all. But I watched the Joel Wilkinson.

I watched the Joe Wilkinson series. Yes. And Richard Osmond. I watched that, most of that on the way down for my first day. Great. Taskmaster.

Well, I know this because, oh, by the way, just to loop back, I had it even worse than you did because my wife worked on the first series. So that's, she worked in the studio on the first series and I was literally like...

She was like, it's this show, it's so much fun. It's all these comedians and they all... I'm like, don't tell me anything more about this. I'm getting angry hearing about how fun this is. Which comedians? Yeah, God. My task for today is to replace the door in my house that I've just punched a hole in.

So we also have the same tour manager chris yes so paul lovely paul um so when i found out that i was doing taskmaster i knew paul was a fan of taskmaster and i in in the car to a gig i was like paul you can't tell anyone but i'm doing taskmaster and he was like oh i'm so happy for you and then you just saw his face change and he went, oh no, Chris is going to be so annoyed. Ah, yeah. Oh, amazing. Yeah, all right. So I was absolutely, I was absolutely over the moon for you

when I found out you got it. And also I knew that you hadn't seen much, but it is, but what Lou said is correct. Like the way you approach Taskmaster and the way you attack it is like someone who has watched every episode five times because you're so competent and so methodical

and very funny as well, but you seem to know when to employ logic and when to just let it go chaotic. Yeah. But barring a couple of times where I overthought it and really, you can get inside your own head. You can get inside your own head because you look for the double meanings and the hidden meanings and you look for them,

their moments where, you know, again, where Richard Osman didn't take them yoga balls to the top of the hill, he just brought the mat down. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? You look for their moments where, oh, can I pick a hole in this? But then you're double guessing going, is Greg going to tear me apart in the studio for this? And am I going to get like, is he going to, you look for the moments where you go, oh, can I pick a hole in this? But then you're double guessing going, is Greg going to tear me apart in the studio for this?

And am I going to get like, is he going to break the rules and give us minus points or something? So you can really turn yourself inside out. But yeah, if you can take a breath and just think, I love problem solving. Genuinely, this is, why am I telling Ed Gamble this? I used to get, you know, like little wooden puzzles

at Christmas that you'd get as a stocking filler. I'd ask for them. They'd be on my list. It would be like, wooden puzzle, please. Like my mum would go into British home stores and just clear out the thing. Do you know what I mean? You know, that desk.

Little wooden puzzles. Oh, that's adorable. Little wooden puzzles. Stuff like that, mate. Look, I knew you'd be brilliant on the show anyway because we've known each other for a long time. And I know quite how enthusiastic you get about the smallest thing yeah yeah anything big football rugby get it a proper sport not bothered me don't care tell us to find 10 ducks in a room i will burn that room

to the ground until i find all the ducks as as you nearly did uh i think the perfect example just to give people an insight into how you're genuinely like this in real life is when we were doing gigs on a cruise ship oh god um and it was the at the time the biggest cruise ship in the world and we're walking around and it was really impressive like massive and i just heard you behind me go oh my god and i turned around and went what is it chris and you'd found a massive rubber band on the floor and you went look at the size of that rubber band man! I was like, look at the size of this ship, Chris. I remember this. The massive rubber band. You always remember me in moments when I let it slip and I forget I'm around other comedians.

Like my mates are just used to us doing stuff like that. But when you do that around comedians, yeah, they really do note it down and remember forever. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I sometimes let me, a little five-year-old comes out of my head and just gets excited at the little joys in life. But it's great, it's the little joys rather than the massive things, and I think that's what makes you so good. It was a massive rubber band, let's not take anything away from the rubber band. It was

absolutely, it was industrial, it was industrial, mate. It was big. I've seen nothing like it. It was big. Imagine that on a catapult man you kill someone let's talk about the prize task uh from episode five the most surprising thing from your wardrobe now i've said you're brilliant a taskmaster and you're excellent we're not kicking off with a moment of glory for you shocking one I've shot absolutely like it was surprising to me because I wasn't away until I think it was was it that it may have been that day I was speaking to Greg in the corridor and he'd been down to like the south

coast and like he'd done something what had he bought he bought one of them like a hat what are they called man it's like a hand jet ski that goes under the water right that pulls that pulls you along yeah he's got one of them the taskmaster has got one of them yeah yeah but he needs two of those to get him so he was talking about and i was like oh and it was just this moment that was before the episode strange there was this moment where i was like he's got a wetsuit i was like i think more people might have wetsuits than i realize here it might be like a thing um yeah i live in the north i live in the northeast of england you're not going in the north sea like you know i i had one mate at school at a wetsuit and i thought it was the most incredible thing ever so yeah i i didn't think, again, I just did not think.

Sometimes you can just miss the mark. Because I could have just picked something that wasn't in my wardrobe. I could have went and bought something utterly ridiculous, came home, put it in my wardrobe and then brought it and went this. But I didn't. I was trying to be honest, Ed, and I failed. You were trying to be honest, yeah. One point. It's not surprising because you are enthusiastic.

You do seem like you might give it a go, like have a wetsuit and give it a go. And your angle is... I mean, I've had so many of those prides to us where you say them out loud for the first time and you're like, oh God, this is shit. Yeah. You give me first as well.

You going, oh, it's surprising because I've never used it. We don't know you've never used it, Chris. It's a disaster. No, man, it was shocking. And then he's like, I'm not surprised you've got a wetsuit. And when he said it out loud because I've never used it. We don't know you've never used it, Chris. It's a disaster. No, mate. It was shocking. And then he's like, I'm not surprised you've got a wetsuit. And when he said it out loud, I thought, no, yeah, it makes sense, yeah.

I mean, he doesn't know. I could go surfing. I could go bodyboarding. I don't know. Yeah, idiot. But I've only had it on once. That's a genuinely true story. I put it on and the heating was on.

It was quite warm. And I put it on and I couldn't get it off. And I had like a bit of a panic attack and I just put it in the bottom of the wardrobe. It was quite warm. And I put it on and I couldn't get it off. And I had a bit of a panic attack and I just put it in the bottom of the wardrobe. I've never used it. Yeah. And the paddleboard, that'll be knackered because you're not supposed to leave them folded up.

It's an inflatable one. You're not supposed to leave them folded up too long. That'll be fucked up. Yeah, that's done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a tosser. No more of that. Sophie Duker brought in biscuits.

Now, I thought this was a lovely insight into Sophie's life. She did seem to be claiming that she was the only one who, everyone else was a millionaire on the show, and she was poor Sophie. I think she was trying to get points by saying she was, you know. I mean, I did point out, it wasn't the edit, but I did point out that it's Favoured Nations.

We all got the same fee, so I wasn't having that. We're all on the same fee. No chance, Sophie. You're not having that one, mate. I think it was pointed out on numerous occasions that the biscuits are posh. They were Fortnum's biscuits. They were Fortnum and Mason biscuits, yeah. But that's the crack, innit? That's what the

millennials spending all their money on expensive coffee and that and haven't even got somewhere to hang their bloody wetsuits. Do you know what I mean? in that and haven't even got somewhere to hang their bloody wetsuits. Do you know what I mean? I liked her. She thought outside the box with this one. I thought it maybe deserved more than two points.

Yeah, I mean, I also wanted photographic evidence of that. It sounded like a lovely little... That's the thing. You go, I don't have a wardrobe, but you've got under... Was it sort of under windows under seating window based storage and fortnum and mason biscuits so you know you're in you're an expensive townhouse somewhere in london there like i mean and you must you must have one of them rails from ikea where you can just put them up and put the clothes on she's got something but it was she's very well dressed sophie she's always got a good outfit very cool yeah that's not being screwed up from the bottom of yeah nah that's not in the window that's not kept in this seat

but um yeah she's lying you were told the truth with the wetsuit she's lying about the thing at least that's stuck to the truth yeah making biscuits in a wardrobe for where's your kitchen like i get annoyed because some of my stuff's at the other end of the kitchen you've got to walk around the island to go and get it i I'm not going up a flight of stairs. Sorry, I just need to point out, I live in the north, so everything's a lot. Wardrobes, fucking loads of them, mate. I've got too many.

No word of a lie, there's two wardrobes in my bedroom that have got nothing in them. I'm just going to point out that where Chris is sat now appears to be in his house library because he lives in Wayne Manor. I live in an old vicarage, and I've a full library. Can you see the ladders? Just there? Beauty and the Beast library ladders. Judy brought in a nurse's outfit, which I don't know if this is surprising or not,

Chris. It's not for me to say as a gentleman, but bald. I will say it was bald. Straight through. Very bald. But that sums Judy up. That's why she was such a joy. She was so funny to sit next to say as a gentleman but bald i will say it was bald straight very just like boom maybe but that sums judy up that's why she's such a joy she was so funny to sit next to she had me bad laughing because she's so bald where she goes yeah i've got a nurse sexy nurse's outfit what you're gonna do i mean i just like that she hits the nail on the head she goes there it is but yeah i mean it's it's it's up to your own perception whether you're surprised or not but i put it this way i was

surprised she brought it yeah surprised she brought it so that is that's one surprising element i think i think i'm now at the stage with judy where everything surprises me that she does but also because of that nothing surprises me it's so good she just i'm yet to see a task where she doesn't have alex do most of the legwork like there is yet to be a task aid on the series where she's not just it cuts to us all doing it and then it cuts to her and she's just strode along and alex is carrying everything you should be carrying for her it's unbelievable and numerous times i went what the hell and it's not in the rules that you can't get him to help and i thought yeah yeah i think i think alex every series there's someone who tries that and he doesn't often let them get away with it but it has to only be one

person in the lineup and I think Judy made her feelings very clear early to us. I think he's terrified of her. He's absolutely terrified of her and he called across beautifully. Yeah. It was three points for that anyway and I think that three points perfectly represents the fact that I wasn't surprised by it but also

very surprised by it. Ardlo Hanlon a squeaky red leather jacket Incredible. I mean what a horrible item of clothing it was horrible but yeah i feel like you should have called it his midlife crisis leather jacket yeah it definitely had that yeah it was it it had connotations of an eddie murphy special from the 90s yeah it was like that eddie murphy special with the with a bit in it that no one's allowed to talk about yeah so what was it Delirious is the

oh no Raw was the red one Delirious was the purple stuff right yeah yeah yeah

which is I think I mean I suppose Ardell's stand up is quite Eddie Murphy-esque exactly the same exactly the same but yeah

I just love that he said I'm not a fan of it's a very little subtle joke he says I'm not a fan of squeaky clothing very little subtle joke he says I'm not a fan of squeaky clothing I hate I hate squeaky clothing and Alex goes

oh yeah famously he hates squeaky clothing I don't know what he means though yeah you put a brand new pair of shoes on you walk down a corridor on your own it's so embarrassing

it was it was a lovely gentle way of of attacking the brief so it is a surprise if you saw Ardlow Handlin

walking around in a squeaky red leather jacket, you would go, oh, what? He's nothing like, his character's on the telly. But yeah, you'd imagine, if you saw Ardlo Hanlon walking down the street in that jacket,

you would imagine his mates were around the corner filming it for a day. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's a good way of getting on Greg's good side by like you say midlife crisis leather jacket that sort of thing I think Greg loves anything that

connects to that time of life he does but also he blows hot and cold as we all know right I thought my robot lawnmower was going to blow his mind and he did but he was like he split his character in two he split himself to taskmaster and he went as far as the task

goes blah de blah and he's like but later on let's talk about and we did talk about it we had a 45 minute

conversation about the lawnmower off the show I was showing him the app on my phone and everything it's phenomenal I think you and Greg

possibly the two people who love gadgets most that I have ever met you just love a bloody gadget it's so good I love that that lawnmower I swear to Oh, it's so good. I love that. That lawn mower.

I swear to God, mate, it's amazing. It does the whole lawn every night. Does it? The whole lawn. And it chops a millimetre off and that millimetre

of each blade of grass, you don't have to collect it, it falls into the grass, it feeds it and it stops any weeds and stuff from growing. It does the whole lawn

every night. I mean, I think we're all imagining how big your house is now that you need a robot lawnmower to do the whole lawn every night. I mean, I think we're all imagining how big your house is now, that you need a robot lawnmower to do the whole lawn every night. Well, no, I could have a ride on. It could be like, you know, agas and agas. It's just, it's a decent lawnage. I haven't mowed my lawn for, I'd say, five months, and I could go out there this afternoon and I could do it with my mouth. That's how small it is. Yeah, but you can get a tube in at the West End

and watch a show in 20 minutes. Are you alright? I've got to get a hotel. That's true, but I don't. I don't. Bridget, now there was such a weird backstory to Bridget. It was an antique Japanese kimono that she seemingly bought for Greg 17 years ago and then decided that it was too expensive to give to him.

So, Bridget Christie is one of the most phenomenal human beings I've ever met. 17 years ago and then decided that it was too expensive to give to him so bridget christie is one of the most phenomenal human beings i've ever met she's so lovely yeah she's so funny she's so strange and i know she won't mind me saying that i couldn't work out if she was joking or not like yeah i'm not sure this is i'm not sure this is true i'm good but i'm going do you really buy for it and she's going yeah yeah and she's going now it's worth thousands and it there was this lovely moment I couldn't I just you know some people

you can't and you ask so many times if they're joking and they go no no and then it gets to the point where you go look if you are joking

the joke's on you because I've asked you if you are joking like 40 times now so this is just ridiculous and at the end again

you're a very chill guy to hang out with Chrisris that's that's no right but if you are joking the jokes on you so just remember that no but you know you're saying you brought someone you've kept a kimono for 17 years i was like oh for for a time greg was at the edinburgh fringe every single august for about 10 years in a row you could have just took it up there yeah um but there was a moment at the end where it wentole had won and before he goes up to see his things that wasn't broadcast but there's this beautiful moment

where Bridget was going on about how Greg should wear it and Greg was going on about he should wear it and how he'd look good in it and Nardole just sort of slaps his hands on his knees and goes, excuse me, I own it it was just such a because he'd won it oh god, it was phenomenal

phenomenal I love it I mean it was a beautiful kimono yeah, incredible he deserved points just for that he looked absolutely regal in I love it. I mean, it was a beautiful kimono. Yeah, incredible. It deserved points just for that. It looked absolutely regal in it at the end on that final shot. Yeah, beautiful. So it was five points for Bridget Christie, four points for Ardell,

three points for Judy, two points for Sophie, and one point for you. I got beaten by something that isn't even in a wardrobe. Fulton and Mason Biscuits. That's a North-South divide for you right there, that mate. Yeah. Fulton and Mason Biscuits that's a north south divide for you right there that mate Fulton and Mason Biscuits beat a northern as wetsuit

I've just remembered Chris that Sophie Duker left you a message when she did the podcast and it's relating to the lawnmower oh god

honestly if she's slagging my lawnmower off I'm going to get upset well she's she's said Chris a lawnmower

is not a personality. Oh, that is cold. Spoken like someone who doesn't have a front lawn. In a shared accommodation. I bought it specifically for you about 17 years ago. I saw it in a charity shop window and I thought, there's only one person I know who's big enough to wear that. So I looked it up, it's actually worth thousands of... I didn't realise.

And I think, if you wore this...this beautiful piece... Yeah. You've had multiple opportunities to find me and give me my gift. You tell me then when I could have given you this. At any point in the last 17 years. Oh, Greg! I'm not the Scarlet Pimpernel. I live in London. Oh, remember me?

I put it to you. No, I put it to you. I put it to you. Not only do I put it to you... I put it back to you. You bought that kimono, not realising it was expensive. You were going to give it to me, then you found out it was worth something,

and you kept it for yourself. I am horrified. Task one, make this key difficult but possible to retrieve. You have ten minutes. Your time starts now. Now, of course, this relates to another task later on, so we don't need to talk about this for too long, but you didn't know that.

This is the point you had 10 minutes to make the key difficult but possible to retrieve this so the way you attack this is what i mean about you being very competent some people just threw the threw the key into a tree or threw it into a bush or whatever you immediately were like i've thrown a key into a bush before get me get me something heavy and round and you tied it to something else to give it's like you've done all these things before so yeah so the the sort of large plastic i don't know what it was it might have been a bit of gutter and uh the large plastic hoop that i tied it onto uh that was the difficult but not impossible bit the not impossible because i was like if it's got a large fob,

if we will, on it, then it will be possible to find, but it'll be a bit of a nightmare. But again, I'm not a chess grandmaster. I can't think 10 moves ahead the way you could be expected to for this show. Bridget putting it in her boot was absolute genius. It was, but I disagree that that's not difficult

but not impossible. But she assumed that it was for Alex or the taskmaster to find, not her. So I assume on her, when you watch it back, you just think, well, because she could just sprint away. She could run away, yeah. I see what you mean. Yeah, I should Google, you're not touching me boot. Don't touch us.

And then you can't get it. My instant thought with this task, Chris, and I want to know if you had, I'm sure you had the same instant first thought but i may have attempted it was to shove the key up my ass not the first thought no that was my first thought what would you put it in something yeah a condom no you've got what you still got a jagged key going straight, it's tender up there, man. You'd have to put it in something, maybe like a yellow bit from the inside of a Kinder Egg.

Yeah, because what a lot of people don't know is when you go into the dressing room in Taskmaster, it's basically full of Kinder Eggs and Johnnies. Yeah, they've been using it weirdly because they've been using my rider for years. I couldn't believe it when I got there. I was like, I didn't even give you right now but it's all kinder eggs and johnnies this is incredible god you guys are clever so maybe maybe not no maybe i would have tried i would have on camera made it look like i was shoving it inside my ass but i may have just it may have left it in the crack right okay just nipped it in the crack and walk around like you were holding a beer mat between your ass cheeks for the rest of the day brilliant um yeah i it was that thing of because obviously you don't want to throw it over

the fence into the into the you know into the oncoming traffic or whatever yeah so it was yeah this was again we'll talk about the next bit when it comes but it was one of their moments where you sit back and you go oh you guys are good yeah you guys are really really good because obviously presumably that happened on this that was the same day right because not all the tasks filmed in order oh, you guys are good. You guys are really, really good. Because obviously, presumably, that was the same day, right? Because not all the tasks were filmed in order, not everything on the same day is in the same episode. But was it like the beginning of the day

was the hide the key, and then the end of the day was... It was one of the first ones. Yeah, it was one of the first ones. And weirdly, because you go straight on to the next task, I literally threw it in the tree, and I was like, job done. There we go, bye, you know, clock off for the day. And then you get, yeah, you find out later on.

But it was, yeah, it was, when they seem too simple, that's what, when you get a task, when you get a task that is like that and then it has a big caveat at the end, that's when you start overthinking other tasks. Because you go, tasks yes could they link this to something else like the one um uh on episode two show with the coolest photo from your phone yeah and recreate it you go oh there's the coolest photo yeah done wait a second recreate

it you go yeah yeah should have thought about that yeah because you almost can't you can't think ahead too much because it'll just screw you up and then if you thought ahead for other ones you know you'd sit there and greg would go much because it'll just screw you up. And then if you thought ahead for other ones, you'd sit there and Greg would go, right, well, why is this thing? You've done utterly shit. And you go, oh, I thought four hours later they were going to get us back to do something else. Yeah.

That's the beauty of the show and that's the craziness of the show. They first employed this technique, I think in series seven, where they had to, when they heard a certain sound, they had to go and do something. I can't remember the exact details,

but then towards the end of the day they were asked to tie themselves up and then they played the sound so basically they had to go and Oh god It's devious They used it in series 9 with us as well where we had to spend ages building a beautiful clay sculpture

and then score a goal using a cement roller, like on a big roller you would have loved this and then put our sculpture at the end of the pathway so the only way I could get a goal was by running over my my clay baby

that is nice yeah anything like that absolutely love it, love to see people get screwed over you of course threw it up a tree, a lot of people did it like that, couldn't believe how many people went for trees thrown it was unbelievable in 10 minutes what are you going to do

that's sort of the only thing you can do apart from put the key in your boot which is a brilliant idea that worked very well for Bridget apart from the fact she does massively mess it up anyway somehow Judy you were asked to make it difficult to retrieve. Yeah, but you guys muddled up the words.

Both occasions just popped in somewhere. But the last one is difficult. Then you came good. Just what I'm saying, try once, try twice. It's quite a contrast seeing Sophie clamber up a tree and then cover the key and flob. LAUGHTER Chris, I appreciated yours. Nice, simple system. Tie the key and flop uh chris i appreciated yours nice simple system tie the key to something wait up a tree thank you arnold what do you do with yours i i put it in a tree oh yeah you

hide it in the tree as well a lot of people hoisted up a tree good let's crack on every veteran has a story whatever your next chapter chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode

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Task 2. Give Alex a high five. The third fastest high fiver wins. If you're the first or last, you will receive no points. You must high five Alex in the next 10 minutes. Your time starts now. I mean, let's just say straight away this is this looks so brilliant this task the way they've edited this task as if you're

all there at the same time to show the order you went in it's just brilliant it was phenomenal so it was just me and ardle there on the day and it was the first team task so i'd done about three days in the house on my own of tasks and then i'm there with ardle and i'm so excited it was only the second one we did together i'm like oh my god obviously i've met him before but only a couple of times you know still he was very much still arnold o'hannon from father ted in my head at that moment until i spent a few days with him and now he's just arnold kind of thing so i was very excited and he's really funny what a lovely little time but we're standing there and there's them three dots the three spaces and they're going oh we'll edit the girls in and i was like what and then when i saw it back it cuts to it all in the studio going

brilliant that's brilliant like we're all just so good dumbfounded by how incredible there's a moment where like sophie goes then i go and it looks like we're there very clever again very devious one of them ones where you just you'll drive yourself nuts thinking about it yeah your head goes into a spin of what possibilities could be. Some people drove themselves mad by thinking about it, and other people, such as Judy, absolutely. She does not drive herself mad thinking about anything, Judy. She acts on instinct.

She thinks afterwards. She thinks a long time afterwards. Yeah. She only admitted that she didn't know what was going on in the studio, which was filmed nine weeks after the task. Yeah, it was just the way, like, she didn't know what was going on in the studio which was filmed nine weeks after the task um yeah it was she's me it was just the way like she didn't listen she picked a little bit of it and she actually you see i should put her hands out as if to stop the other two running as if they're gonna run for it as well so like no me first and they're like we're not going anywhere mate oh just wonderful and then all got slap happy he did like five i know that's so but that's i i

think ardle we talked about this in in the podcast a couple of weeks ago um ardle had decided when he And then Ardell got slap happy. He did like five. I know. But that's, I think Ardell, we talked about this in the podcast a couple of weeks ago. Ardell had decided when he turned up on the first day that he was not going to win. So he's just doing whatever he wants. He does not care. Yeah. But you need that, I think.

Yeah, you totally need that. Of course you do. It'd be painful. Has there ever, you're the Anorak, has there ever been a series where every single person wanted to win and you can feel it coming off? No. No, because they cast it too well

i guess apart from champions champions there we go uh which is yeah which of course that's going to happen there um judy i mean judy doesn't seem to understand the concept of being the fastest which i really like because this has happened in a couple of weeks ago as well where she said well i was the fastest loser as if that deserved some points yeah she said i was the fastest third i wanted to be the third the fastest third yeah and she thinks if she went the fast like the actual time it took her to get i mean bridget seems to think this as well the time it takes to get from the dot to alex that's what she means by fastest that's what they thought yeah that's just clicked so that's why whoa so that's why bridget said it's the time from here today yeah so she's sauntered

across right that makes us mate until you describe that there i thought you'd lost a mind yeah so they're right so they didn't realize it's the way people's brains especially when you get creative people and people who do what we do for a living everyone's brains work differently in the way you perceive it and it drove me mental standing thinking about that and the only time the only time i could relax was when ardle did his second high five i'm standing he did the high five and i stood and i waited and then i high-fived and then he did the second one i just laughed and i was like oh cheers i don't need to worry about that anymore so yeah you knew then definitely you wouldn't be you wouldn't be third I knew I knew it was out of my hands yeah I knew it wasn't gonna be last I knew it wasn't gonna be and then it was out of my hands I thought there's

nothing else I can do now because it can drive you nuts do you ever have that thing where you sometimes it's gonna sound really depressing but sometimes you lie in bed and think about what happens when you die and yeah no you think about it too much, your brain just spins off and you have to almost reset yourself. It's like that. There was nothing before I was born. There was nothing,

but just nothing forever. What will that be like? And then you're back in the room and you go to sleep. That is not anything that bothers Judy, I don't think. Oh God, no. She's grabbing life with both hands.

So funny. She's so funny and absolutely just runs runs towards him there and is obviously first to high five ardell goes second fifth sixth and seventh but he gets he gets four points yeah it's great he put it out there he went for it yeah i'm just you know what it is genuinely i think that ardell hadn't high-fived anyone for some time and he was just enjoying the process just loving hype maybe you've never heard of high-fived anyone for some time and he was just enjoying the process. Just loving high-fiving. Maybe he's never had a high-fiving before.

He's like, oh, I remember these. Boosh. Love it. You and Sophie very nearly, I mean, it's so good. And this is the second time this has happened, this series, because they had to replay getting the ping-pong ball onto the flagpole. And you think it's going to be you, you think it's going to be you, then Sophie gets it.

It's the second time this has happened. I'm still so gutted about that, can I just say? That was, I phoned our tour manager after that task. And it must have been the most painful phone call he's ever had in his life. I was like, right, right. And there was like a rope and four like sort of plinth things, right?

And then a maypole. And then I had a papoose. And I had to like basically like, I'm talking him through the whole thing. And he's like, like, sort of plinth things, right? And then a maple, and then I had a papoose, and I had to, like, basically, like, I'm talking him through the whole thing, and he's like, right, right, and I'm like, first time, and you can tell he didn't know what the fuck I was saying, but he went, well, well done, that's amazing, mate.

Yeah, bless him. I mean, when you actually see it back, it is seriously impressive, but when you describe it, you sound like you've gone mad. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like I'm describing a dream to someone. But any opportunity to hear you say papoose in your accent is obviously welcome like the cookbook from two weeks fantastic so sophie does very well there she's very measured sophie when she has to be i think

she's super smart like she really she really knows what's going on um lovely moment just a little moment from you and I completely empathise with this moment it's what I would have done just telling a bird to shut up just telling a tweeting bird to shut up because you were concentrating again I forgot I did that

and I was like I watched it back and I was like okay I'll get some tweets about that. RSPB will be all over. Are they still kicking about the RSPB? Yeah, I think so. I don't think anyone's given up on the birds yet.

Someone will have a go. Someone's always having a go. Um, Bridget, I mean, she is chaos. She, she slowly wanders over,

then decides it's the best opportunity to wait for the last second. And then misses it. Unbelievable. Alex's face is wonderful. She's like the Joker. Like she's, as in like she just wants to watch the world burn, but she's the Joker

if none of his plans came up. It's just, just a clown. Yeah. I don't know what, like, like that, that,

she was aiming to be dead last and I don't know why. Again, it's that thing from A to B, she wanted to get from A to B, but and i don't know why again it's that thing from a to b she wanted to get from a to b but i just don't know how our thinking works i don't know how our brain works no it's phenomenal and some tasks you see you do it and you know how you've done it and you sit in the studio and you see how the rest of them have done it and you go okay you've tackled that a bit differently and then you what and then it's literally by like the third time when that studio you rub your hands together and you go, right, let's see what Bridget thought here

because this is absolutely, yeah. You know she's going to take it. There's thinking outside the box and there's taking a different view on something, but she's just another level of, it's wonderful to watch, wonderful television. Yeah, it really is. Again, no matter how much I tell someone

who is about to do Taskmaster to not worry about this, they always do. Which is, when you're there, about to do a task, and you're like, well, I can't do that. Everyone's going to do that. Everyone will never do the same thing. 100%. Yeah. You're totally right. Yeah. Because you might have Bridget on the series.

Or Judy. Yeah. We could all tactically work together. No, we can't, because we can't all be third. Yeah, you're not a team anymore. We're not a team. Not for this task. Sorry.

OK. I just took the risk. Well, you still might be the third fastest. Well, at least you know the first and the fifth won't win, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. So, you've both got a chance. How many minutes had gone until I... No minutes. About 20 seconds.

No? Really? Mm-hm. No. Oh. 20 seconds? No, seriously, it was about a minute, though, wasn't it? A minute in. It was a minute in. Oh, man! Yeah, but you still don't know if you would have... No! No, seriously, it was about a minute though, wasn't it? A minute in, it was a minute in. Oh, man! Yeah, but you still don't know if you...

No! No, I think she's... I think I... Oh, my, I really sacrificed myself! Task three, make the water level rise to the top of the big fish tank. Honestly, mate, right, I'll take... Let me read out the full details of the task, please, Chris. You have 15 minutes to gather six six things

then you must put all six things in the big fish tank you may not put anything in the big fish tank until the 15 minutes are up and if any water leaves the big fish tank at any point you are disqualified closest water level to the top of the big fish tank wins no fish tanks may leave this room your time starts now horrible absolutely horrible so a couple of things about this one first of all watching it back was painful um yeah really up there with like if you ever have to watch like an old stand-up gig back i'll listen to a you know if you're doing a the edinburgh fringe and you record your sets and you listen to the phone you're like you just want to die um am i allowed to say that this was the first task we did yeah that i did absolutely yeah this is the first task we did? Yeah, absolutely.

This was the first task I did. So this was the first one. So you see me at the beginning of that task. I open the door and I go, hello. And I've got a massive smiling face because I'm like, I'm finally doing the 13 series and I'm doing Taskmaster. And they said, they literally said, this is a backup task that we're filming first.

And they probably won't even go in the show. And the minute we were sitting there in the studio and Alex went, this next one's got tanks in i nearly burst into tears because i knew there's two moments there's two moments in the whole studio where i was mortified at what came up one was that and i don't know if i can mention the other one yet because i don't know if it's in the future i believe yeah i know i know what you're referring to yes awful one of the worst days of my life um but yeah the tank ah have you seen the film die hard with a vengeance yes where they do the water fountain i don't really remember it but i have seen the film tell me three gallon jug five gallon jug three gallon jug get four gallons in one of the jugs right so i immediately thought it was going to be that kind of thing because i saw

the empty fish tank and I saw the full one and I was like, I'm amazing at this kind of stuff. This is great. And then it was, oh, and the empty tank, the other tank threw us off. It was obviously there to completely throw you off on purpose. It was, again, it was horrible. It was one of them ones where I couldn't get my head around it,

no matter how much I stood. And it was the first task. So I'm thinking, is this a you know this is the first one i'm doing here did i tell you that when i first went in the i haven't told you this when i first went in the dressing room the first day i got to the house i swept the entire dressing room for cameras and bugs the entire dressing room everywhere up on the shelves behind the stuff on top of the doors windows outside the window under the table sofa i ripped the entire dressing room, everywhere, up on the shelves, behind the stuff, on top of the doors, windows, outside the window, under the table, sofa, I ripped the entire room apart just in case one of

the tasks was, you know, I don't know, I just don't know, I'm always really worried that people are deliberately trying to catch us out and make us look like a dick, ironically I can make myself look like a dick, I can make myself look like a dick on my own really easily by doing stuff like that and then admitting it to you on a podcast but yeah so it was you're thinking again you're going what is this going to be one of the moments and again you always think about the you think about that Joe Wilkinson moment where he throws the potato straight into the thing but he stood on it do you know I mean that iconic sort of zoom in moment you always you go what is this the moment where I make a dick of myself and you do you worry far too much and it was yeah and i still think it would have done okay if because i could

have it was when i first pushed that tank and water blobbed over the side yeah i was quite honest i just went look waters came out there and i was kind of done um yeah yeah you were done i mean you'd already you couldn't find your six bibles that was the issue because you knew six bibles would have done it and And I complained so many times that there wasn't six Bibles readily available. So I think if that first bit of water hadn't come out, I would have realised that the top tank floated, and then I could have just put heavier,

you know, five heavy things in it. But yeah, I believe the correct phrase is, I shat the bed. You did, but also, estimating six Bibles, you weren't that far, like those bricks were basically like thick Bibles, weren't they, really? Well, I measure everything in Bibles, so it's just, you know, it's not that impressive to me,

it's just how I work. Oh, sorry, when I say that Chris is sat in a library, every single book on those shelves is a Bible. All are Bibles, yeah, all of them. Different air. Different editions. So if you'd not spilled the water, you would have been guaranteed three points because both Sophie and Bridget

took the tank out of the room straight away. I don't understand. They immediately did it. Maybe it was their first task again, but I remember... It would have been, yeah. I think they're always the same first task for everyone. So I think, yeah,

I think it would have been their first task. Well, it's one of the moments where, in the studio when you're watching it, obviously you're all, you know, you're trying not to show how competitive you are on your face on the camera and you try to smile and you clap everyone else and you fist bump them when they do well and all that.

But it's one of them lovely moments where I saw you see fail come up on the screen and you go, yeah, fuck you. You're really buzzing, like you are buzzing. It's like, you remember when you were at school and someone else would be getting told off by the teacher and you'd be like, go on sir, punch him sir, go on. Like it's one of their moments. And yeah, you get a very, very evil bit of satisfaction

when someone else feels one but I think it was Judy four points I mean this is unbelievable that she got four points for this she puts a loaf of bread in the test tank and then she goes with a loaf of bread

which floats obviously it's covered in plastic and also bread if she put the bread in it, it would have soaked water up. Yeah. She goes with bananas and a jar of coffee and some bottles, and she says to the bananas float like two dicks. Yeah, and she filled the bottles up with water,

which was water that was already in there. So she just put, I mean, there was nothing. But again, it's that thing, we all fucked up so much that she ended up winning, but the bananas floating like two dicks. I mean, again, it's that thing. We all fucked up so much that she ended up winning. But the banana's floating like two dicks. I mean, again, this episode's a hell of a look into her personal life. Two dicks floating in a bath in a nurse's outfit. She's doing all right.

Because I take it, I mean, I'm assuming that has been heavily edited. I'd imagine there was a discussion about the two dicks because it doesn't come up in the edit that she says two dicks. But I'd imagine Greg had some questions about that in the studio. I do remember it taking a lot longer on the day. We'll all look forward to the deleted scene from that. And Ardell, five points for using a mallet,

a brick, a statue, satsumas and some water. Pissed off that he used water. I don't think water should have been allowed. Well, this was something else I tried to do when I did it as well. I don't think I used it in the end, but I think I went and got loads of different cups of water to use some water as an item. You don't think that should have been allowed?

It's disgusting, dirty, and I think you should be ashamed of yourself. It's a filthy, dirty cheetah's move, is what it is. What? Oh, I'm thirsty. You've got the kitchen here. Can you get us one water? Actually, no. No, I'm really thirsty.

Can you get us two waters? But if it was a bottle of water, would you have taken it then? No, because you can't measure it. If you said to someone, get me a water, they'd bring you back a bottle of water, wouldn't they? I've got a water dispenser in my fridge, Ed. Right, but okay, so say you're out... We know, we assume that, Chris.

We now know the fucking blueprints to your house. No, I still don't. Although then... If I say I'm going to the shop, do you want anything? Right. I wouldn't say want water. I wouldn't say warm water. I wouldn't say bring me warm water.

I want a water. A water, yeah. So that's an item, right? Yeah. Okay, so if he got six separate bottles of water sealed and dropped them in, absolutely fine. No, you can pour it out. No.

No, because it's got to be an item. I'm not having it. A water. I'm not having it. A water. No, because he no, because it's got to be an item. I'm not having it. A water. I'm not having it. A water. No, because he just poured it. It became, so it, because it wasn't in a sealed container, it ceased to become, it stopped becoming one item and became,

you know, it just entered the world and joined all of the other water as water. It wasn't separate as an item. And I won't, honestly, greg on the phone i will knock back down on this i'm serious i wish we'd done the same series right i would have made you so angry i feel like you could have pushed my buttons really really well oh mate yeah really well um that was five points for arnold four points for judy and nought points for you sophie and bridget.

Obviously, Judy's gone straight into the Taskmaster book of quotes by saying of a bunch of bananas, it's floating like two dicks. What about when you walk in the bathroom and your partner's in there? Me personally? Well, no, someone's partner, if you've got a partner, and you're walking and he's in the bathroom, having a whale of a time, relaxing,

and then you just see... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who hasn't seen their willy float up to the theme from Jaws? She's right. Task four, answer Alex's phone call. If you find a cuddly toy, you must carry it with you until you answer Alex's phone call. Also, you must be making a noise over 50 decibels for at least 50% of the time until you answer alex's phone call also you must be making a noise over 50 decibels for at least 50 of the time until you answer alex's phone fastest wins your time starts

now yep um now obviously this is where the key comes into play because where alex's phone actually is uh is in a locked box in the garden and then you need to go and get your key presumably holding all of your cuddly toys it was genius it was genius it was one of their moments when you see you're running around and you're flustered and you're getting this and one of them's a dick the phone you know there's like talk boys from home alone 2 are playing sounds of phones and you gotta stop them and then it's not then there's a phone and it's greg ring and it's not him oh my god and you've got to obviously pick up all these cuddly toys and i'll be screaming shouting at the same time and then it's not, then there's a phone and it's Greg ringing and it's not him. Oh my God. And you've got to obviously pick up all these cuddly toys

and you'll be screaming and shouting at the same time and then there's just this moment. It's like that, you know, the pull focus on the beach in Jaws. You know,

when it sees, and they do that amazing shot where they pull focus and it zooms, but it zooms out and in at the same time. It's like that moment. I looked,

I opened the back of that piano and I saw the box and I just put, you see, they cut it well because I put my head on that piano. I slammed my head down on the piano for so long when i realized there's a key that i need to get out of a tree which i threw i must have threw it about 30 feet in the air yeah it went high they cut out so much of my swearing there i think i just sweared at

them it was but it was that kind of thing i do where it was like i wasn't angry at them i was swearing and how impressed i was i I was like, you bunch of genius, bloody just swearing me head off at them. And then what, so serendipitously, I went and got a big pole to get the key and the pole fit perfectly into the hoop that I'd put on the key. As if I knew. It was the fob.

It was the fob. It was absolutely brilliant. So that, but that, but it's not luck. I mean, you said at the beginning of this episode, you, you thought I'm going to put the fob. It was a fob. It was absolutely brilliant. But it's not luck. I mean, you said at the beginning of this episode, you thought, I'm going to put the fob on it, and that's the bit that means it's not impossible to retrieve.

Yeah, but I didn't think stick a stick through it. Like, I don't, it was just so I could see it. But yeah, maybe subconsciously. Yeah, give yourself some credit, mate. I'll try, Ed, I'll try. It's very good. But Ardell beat you somehow. Somehow Ardell beat you somehow Ardell beat you which is pretty

which is pretty incredible toddling about the place but it did take us a lot it did take us a long time to get out of the tree but yeah it was it just

just genius but then again to pick Fawlty to pick to be a nitpicker the decibels 50% of the time and the cuddly toys

were never brought in no so I feel like what yeah okay he beat me by a little bit of time, and the cuddly toys were never brought in there. No. So I feel like, yeah, okay, he beat me by a little bit of time, but count his cuddly toys at the end. And for how much a percentage was the decibel? Again, I feel like they were just a three off.

I wonder how much sometimes that Alex adds things to tasks because he's thinking about how funny it will look rather than it actually being a hard and fast rule for the task. And maybe it could be for a tiebreaker. If we came in at exactly the same time somehow, you go, well, he had one more toy than you.

Exactly. Because I always think about those, the 50% of the time thing, the cuddly toys, because Sophie drops all her cuddly toys to go and get the key. I drop all mine. Yeah, and you both had to, really. Sophie goes up the bloody tree, so she can't be holding the cuddly toys at the same time bridget drops everything including her dignity and any

logic yeah she ends up lying on the just lying on the floor good banging the little drum so good god i love that she's brilliant absolutely brilliant uh and again judy i think greg sums her up as just someone walking around a market because she's even got one of those little wheelie trolleys. Where did she get that? It just appears from nowhere in a shot and she's just walking it like an old lady doing it. I don't know what you call it down there,

but when you call it up here, I think she's going to go and do our messages. She's going to go and do me messages. She gets her little tote bag on wheels. Phenomenal. And the fact she shoved everything down her top as well, it's gonna go and do me messages just to get a little little tote bag on wheels phenomenal and the fact she shoved everything down her top as well it's just oh she's so just any shot of judy i think i feel like those uh the helmet cams were invented for judy because we have that first shot in the episode one where she's completely in the dark and then holding a uv light up to her face

saying is there a duck on my face anything like that is brilliant i just feel like bridget lying on the ground banging that pan like i say on the episode it's it's what the show does to you yeah if someone asked us if someone said it was what is what's the the most sort of explain the most frustrated and confused you ever feel in task master what's it like i would just show them her line on the ground bag and a pan because you're just like it's that thing of like what did they say insanity is doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results

it's that feeling it is that feeling sometimes that's what it does to you it's genius. Also what sums up Taskmaster here for me is the fact that Bridget ostensibly did something very cleverly in the first one by putting the key in her boot. Yeah.

But that does not matter at all. It doesn't matter how logical you are sometimes. You will just screw up. She does it 23 minutes and one second. One point. She's last by far. Even though she had that clever genius moment where she's like, it's in my boot. Imagine how long it would have taken her if she'd thrown it up a tree.

Oh my God. She'd still be there now. She'd still be there now. But yeah, great, great task. One point for Bridget. Two points for Sophie, who very gamely went up that tree like a shot. Smashed it. Judy, three points.

Four points for you, Chris. And five points for Ardal. What's it say, Chris? It says you must not break this box. I don't have a key, but I suspect I know where the key is. Where's the key, Adil? It's in a not-impossible-to-retreat place.

The key! Where's the key? On the bush! The key's on the bush. Oh, my God! Right. If we just place it there, that'd be great. OK. Thank you very much.

Can you see it? Er, no. Where's the key? Where's the key? The fog's ticking. You'll be very quiet up there. Argh! Oh!

Argh! Argh! Hey! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! any sign yeah i found the king oh great there it is oh oh come on hello hi judy it's alex here i'm going to stop the clock. Live task. Pop three red balls out of your hole. You may only pop one ball at a time. If you pop out a black ball,

you must stop popping out balls and scream for five seconds. If you pop out a white ball, everyone must stop popping balls and dance like a worm for five seconds. If you pop out a duck, you are disqualified. Also, you must stare lovingly at the taskmaster throughout the task. Fastest wins.

Horrible. For me, watching this was like watching some sort of disgusting horror art installation there was so much going on so much screaming so much worm wiggling it was quite distressing to watch i'd say try doing it i can't stress it enough how much they've cut that down it went on for what felt like days i'm serious we were there for so watch it back again and watch at some point the the balls just mount up so much with very little screaming it just went on forever it was horrible i was sweating this is after you know three hours of sitting there in the studio, watching Shaz Tasks, having a bit of banter,

shouting at Greg, shouting at Alex. Oh, my God. And at one point, again, at the Dawn show, I bend down to get right at the bottom, and I hit me lip off the Perspex box in front of us. Oh, my God. So, well, not me lip, sorry. It went in me mouth.

The top of the box went in me mouth and hit me gums above my front teeth so it clanked as there so your teeth are bleeding and i'm trying to lick that blood off while i'm there honestly i'm thinking if i bleed enough i can just cover a ball in it and drop it in and we'll be done it was nuts you're really sticking to the rules in this i noticed as well you're the, every time, you don't need to be told to do anything. No, I'm straight on it. So when the black balls come out and you're screaming straight away, Alex has to police other people. But, however, can I just say it was such an irritating task.

If the scream rule wasn't there, I'd have probably been screaming anyway. Yeah, fair enough. Just constantly screaming. I hadn't even mentioned that. I think screaming was my default setting for that. Pretty sure Judy deliberately popped a duck out so she didn't have to do it. She's very clever, wily like that, I imagine. Yeah, very good.

And then she got the sort of sympathy point anyway. But yeah, it was just extremely stressful. Like, you know, when you were younger, when you were in school, did you ever have that moment where you're trying to pick a roulette up off the desk and you couldn't and you just can't do it? It was like that.

It was a really, again, sweaty, stressful, awful. And I stick to a lot of the rules. I'm sticking to the rules because in my head, the worst thing that we'll possibly do was go, right, stop, stop. Sorry, Chris is cheating. And then sort of like dresses down in front of everyone so yeah i'm not doing this no chance i mean i don't think they would do that but in your worst nightmares you don't know you don't know

what they could do so everyone stop chris crowd get involved and everything he's cheating like you know what i mean like tarred and feathered yeah we knew we knew we shouldn't get you in for this show we waited as long as possible we could have just nipped across the corridor in the office. This is why you wait 13 series, you chimp. So it was five points to Bridget in this task, four points to Sophie, three points to Arbel, two points for you, Chris, and one point for Judy. I never found them.

I just had to wait for the clock to go out I never found I don't think the red balls were in my thing and you see us at the end very frustratingly taking off and throwing at Alex

because he's fierce wireless dude he's loving it he absolutely loves it the power to get these comedians to do these things he loves it

loves it so yeah it's not a good episode for you Chris you came joint bottom with Bridget and judy on 11 points uh 13 points for sophie and an easy win for ardle uh 21 points which makes

things a lot tighter at the top uh in the series because i know after the first two episodes there was a lot of chris is definitely going to win he's going to run away with this but now bridget's in the lead 84 points chris 82 points 76 points for Sophie, 74 points for Ardell, 67 points for Judy. It's pretty tight overall. I mean, there's no – Judy's on 67, but it's a pretty insurmountable lead, I guess, for everyone else. But I still feel like 67's a pretty good score. It's one of them things where, like, you know,

one, you're in the studio and you everything's all you know they've already been done they're pre-recorded it's not like you can go and give yourself a pep talk in your dressing room and come back for the second episode and go like right i'll do better you can't and when you're doing the tasks you don't know how you've done because you don't know how everyone else has done and again you can't go back to the room and like you know look at yourself in the mirror and you know rip a photo of ivan drago off the side of the room and like you know look at yourself in the mirror and you know rip a photo of ivan drago off the side of the mirror and go and train like it's absolute random bollocks i guess the only yeah because i was telling myself that as well going like but you could do that well as long

as you do well in the live task it doesn't matter if you've messed up a pre-recorded task but there's no way that you know it's going to be good you're going to be good at live tasks and then the wheel it out and it's find three red balls in a sleeping bag that you're standing in. You know, while smashing your face off a Perspex, but it's a nightmare. The whole thing's a nightmare. But it's a fun nightmare.

Well, we've got a few emails about this nightmare for you, Chris, from listeners. We requested some emails. We got a lot of about this nightmare for you guys uh from listeners um we we requested some emails we got a lot of emails in for you uh and uh my producer informed me that there were about 150 emails asking what was in the briefcase wow that's wow wow and i suspect you're never going to tell anyone what are the other emails what are the other emails that they've got we do have some other emails a lot of correspondence yeah um this is uh connor from plymouth uh asks what was your second coolest photo on your phone that you considered using i showed it didn't i the second coolest the second coolest was so i nearly chose one and then i went for

another one of my son reef my other one was um it was just a screen grab of um speedtest.net where you can see how fast your internet is because all right okay i assume what what connor's asking for is one that we didn't see whether there was any other photos that you considered using honestly um the the idea of trying to guess what the taskmaster would deem as cool yeah was again one of the most because you know he's incredible at taking the piss so you literally go you think that's cool you're just you know i had photos of gigs and stuff and i'm so glad i didn't do one of them i genuinely have no idea i'm so sorry i can't give a better answer than that. I didn't know what...

That's all right. I didn't know what cool meant. I didn't know. It's completely subjective. And I'm just glad. Mainly, mainly, my thought was, if I just do a photo of my little baby, they'll be a little bit nicer

because they won't take the piss on my baby. Yeah. And it was a very good recreation as well. It was a very good recreation. This all slagged. Not everyone was slagging it. I think I was robbed on that one. It's because you posed your baby with a bottle of alcohol, Chris,

I think it was. I believe Judy threatened to get social services involved. Well, look, that's... And that is a matter that's ongoing between me and them. But I believe I was robbed on that, can I just say? I believe Bridget was just bloating a hoodie and some hula hoops on a wall. It was utterly rubbish

compared to mine. I'm sorry. The ones he was done, the light was the same. It was perfect. I believe I said on the podcast that you were a bit robbed, actually. So I do back you on that. And we had a lot of emails in this vein as well.

But this is a great question. This is from Cherry in Minneapolis. Question for Chris. How do you thinkie would get on in taskmaster i think rosie would be brilliant she thinks should be terrible she watched the first episode with us and she paused it at the end and turned around and went i would be atrocious on this but i think that would be brilliant like I do not think should win by any stretch of imagination but I think should be so fun to watch so fun yeah like a Judy

Love level but much more panic much much more panic let's lay back yeah yeah should be I think should be phenomenal on it I agree with that I'd love to see Rosie on it same this is from Vicky in South Shields, a little bit of both at home.

Is Rosie cheering you on or does she have another favourite? She's cheering me on. Yeah, she's very much cheering me on. She loves Judy, absolutely loves Judy. The whole family are loving Judy. Ed, when you did this, right, when you did Taskmaster,

were all of your friends and family aware that you're on every episode, or did everyone ask you every single week if you were on the next episode again? No, they were aware I think I explained the whole thing to them Do you get asked every week if you're on the They're brain dead Text off me auntie, text off everyone Great, are you on the next one as well?

Yes, the full thing's a league table the whole thing we're all on every episode oh great yeah brilliant are you on again

oh my fucking god yes it's mad maybe by now halfway through the series they'll realise the cast hasn't changed and it's not going to

yeah oh that's funny Nigel in Auckland we'll just finish off on this email um from your first episode chris who felt like your biggest competitor and ed who do you think is chris's biggest competitor so let's let's ask you first chris from the first episode um i think sophie duca felt like the biggest competitor competitor she's a silent assassin she's methodical she thinks things through she went to Oxford she's very clever

she's got youth on her side Ed she's younger than me very smart she's quicker than me she's very smart yeah she's a she's a force to be reckoned with yeah she's

she hasn't got a fucking wardrobe though I'll always have that from the first episode I think you were so impressive on the first episode I didn't think you had a competitor now looking at it now we're five in

both Sophie and Bridget and even Ard I mean Ardell's sneaking up there I basically think it could be anyone but Judy

is how I feel halfway through the series but Judy doesn't give a shit does she no she doesn't care at all but it is it's a brilliant series uh so far chris

um and look i can tell you're loving it and this is the great thing about taskmaster is you find out you're doing it that's exciting you film the tasks that's so much fun then you get to do the studio which is fun again and then you get to watch it go out and it's even more fun so it's it's over a period of like 18 months it's just the best it's the gift that keeps on giving Ed it's the gift that keeps on giving the only bad thing was when I did them seven ducks

on the first episode I kept asking them every day that was my first day and every day I went on the team I went where were the other three and they were going

you'll just have to wait and I was going where are they and like weeks and weeks and weeks and we sat in the studio and I wasn't even told I just had to piece them together

off where the other ones were nearly killed us Ed nearly killed us Chris thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast. Of course, we ask all of our guests on the Taskmaster podcast to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster. Please, Chris, tell me. Be honest.

Give me a points rating. For being on this episode now, Ed, you're one of my fondest friends in comedy. I've known you for years. Having a little chat with you in any kind of way would have been amazing. But I'm going to give you a three because you've picked one of my worst episodes.

And genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you for that. Fair enough. Three points, of course. That's good. I've received more than uh on average than you did in this episode i'll take that just want to let you know as well uh i've hidden a duck somewhere in your library so i don't on it they cut it out but at one point i asked him if there

was one in my mouth i went is there one there one in my mouth? He went, how? I went, I don't know. Yeah, they let Judy really take the bullet on that one. Is there a duck on my face? Is there one in my mouth? Brilliant. All right, man. Thank you so much.

Been a pleasure, dude. For coming on the Taskmaster podcast. We'll see you again soon. Goodbye. Thank you. Bye. There we are. Thank you very much, Chris for coming on to the taskmaster

podcast uh i always love to speak to someone who was so passionate about their time on taskmaster to the extent i think it's probably still in his head and still keeps him awake at night but we like that and next week we'll be talking to the wonderful bridget christie another season 13 alum i said season they're not series how disgraceful uh but very much looking forward to chatting to Bridget thank you very much for listening we'll see you next week goodbye Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category.

And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative.