Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 89. Kerry Godliman - S7 Ep.1

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

On this week's podcast Ed is joined by Kerry Godliman to kick off Series 7! The pair discuss Ep.1 and dig deep in to the highs and lows of the TM experience. All of this plus some Champions of Champions #2 chat! Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster Visit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Terry O'Reilly, host of Under the Influence. Recently, we created an episode on cannabis marketing. With cannabis legalization, it's a brand new challenging marketing category. And I want to let you know we've produced a special bonus podcast episode where I talk to an actual cannabis producer. I wanted to know how a producer becomes licensed, how a cannabis company competes with big corporations, how a cannabis company markets its products in such a highly regulated

category, and what the term dignified consumption actually means. I think you'll find the answers interesting and surprising. Hear it now on Under the Influence with Terry O'Reilly. This bonus episode is brought to you by the Ontario Cannabis Store and ACAS Creative. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble, host of the Taskmaster podcast. We're here to chat you through old episodes of Taskmaster, go through them task by task, decide whether we think we've scored it differently, just chat about all our favourite fun moments with special guests every week you know the drill by now we are finally starting to talk about series seven very exciting to talk about series seven a brilliant series excellent lineup can't wait to

chat with some of the lineup like today we're going to be chatting with the champion of series seven kerry godliman the wonderful kerry godan. She's obviously been on the podcast a couple of times before, recently faced off against Kerry in Champion of Champions, so I know how formidable a contestant she is. Can't wait to talk to her about Series 7, Episode 1. It would also be remiss of me not to mention Rod Gilbert. He is, of course, in this series, is an absolute star of this series. And you may have seen recently some news that Rod is currently undergoing cancer treatment.

So I just wanted to say, from me and everyone at the Taskmaster Podcast family, we wish you well, Rod. We'll try not to slag off your efforts on Taskmaster too much. But some of it was an absolute nightmare. Not in this first episode though it's a cracking episode for everyone it's an amazing start to the series and let's talk to Kerry Godliman about series seven episode one. Welcome back Kerry Godliman to the Taskmaster podcast. Hello! Oh excellent we've got Kerry in

a great mood at the top of the episode. And, you know, you're going to be in a good mood throughout this episode because we're talking about your series that you won. And you win this episode. So it's all happiness all the way. It's a level of narcissism I'm really comfortable with. So just because everything is coming up Kerry this episode, I thought, why don't we briefly talk about Champion of Champions oh yeah okay well in a candid like therapy way in a kind of therapy way yeah why not yeah why not um was it was it fun to be back in the house filming Champion of Champions oh I loved it I love all things Taskmaster it is my favorite thing and uh, it was a lot of fun. Did you find it fun going back?

Not really. I enjoyed being like being back in the house and doing stuff and then... But failing, you failed. You failed quite... I failed miserably, didn't I? Yeah, yeah, you did. So that didn't feel great, especially when you've been looking forward to something for so long and then you absolutely tank it before lunch but i know this is the ongoing theme of taskmaster but you failing not you a human failing is what makes taskmaster yes so it's really unfortunate that you had to sacrifice your dignity and self-worth for comedy gold all of that it was worth it ed now i do want

to talk about i think it's probably possibly the most indignant i've ever seen you was when you presented your picture with holes cut out that alex had to put his uh body parts through yeah and everyone said it was horrendous and horrific and a nightmare and i've never seen you more shocked you clearly thought it was the best thing you've ever done i don't think it was the best thing i've ever done but i thought it was the best thing you've ever done i don't think it was the best thing i've ever done but i thought it was way better than everyone else thought it was it was a lot better than yours and it was better than lose and it was better than richard's i did love leasers i thought leasers was beautiful i tell you what i didn't really make the edit because of song rights is

that i was singing almost throughout it's a wonderful what's that song it's a wonderful world yeah it's a wonderful world but and Andy kept saying to me we won't get the rights for that stop singing it and I kept going I see fields of trees babies too and I just kept singing it I say I love you and he kept saying stop singing it Kerry it won't make the edit we We won't get the rights. And the whole of my picture was like, it was a devotion to that song. I know that's what you thought it was.

I know that's what you thought it was. But without the song, it had no meaning. It did look like a woman having a breakdown. But with the song, it had something. It had something to hang meaning on. i i know it was such a good idea basing on the lyrics for a wonderful world and all of those things that are in it's a wonderful world i think if you'd accurately represented those things onto the page then it would have been smart because it came out as a sort of muddy brown sort of hellscape yeah that is fair but they that's just to do with my

art skills but the idea the creative idea the kernel of the thing that was the beginning of the thing was a good thing but the execution of the thing was a bad thing but I lost my way with the bum making Alex get his ass out I lost my way you're reaching aren't you if you make Alex pull his pants down you're reaching well I mean we're going to talk about that very shortly but but the bum so I a few days after that I basically woke up in the middle of the night and had one of my epiphanies or it's like why didn't I make Alex put his bum through the thing I can't that's how slow I am I didn't think about it on the day it took me days to work out I could have got him to

put his bum through. And I was like, oh God, Ed, you've really let yourself down not making Alex put his bum through. And when you did it, I was like,

at least someone did the bum. This is what a taskmaster does to your brain. These are the night terrors that we have. Other people worry about, you know, genuine world events. And we're like, shit,

I didn't make Alex put his bum through. At least one ball. I should have done one ball just in the corner. Absolutely. Something of Alex's pant zone should have gone through a hole. Yeah. Well, we're going to be talking plenty about Alex's pant zone very shortly.

pant zone uh very very shortly uh it's brilliant to finally be talking about um series seven it's such a good series and you really come out the gates flying all of you i think this the studio segments on this series are particularly hectic and anarchic i think there's a lot of fun to be had and it's an I'm watching it again yesterday I realize how much fun Greg looks like he's having which is really delightful that must be a lot to do with Rob because he's got his mate there but it's just so delightful to see how much fun Greg's having well also because I think everyone on the lineup has a different thing that they do amazingly well and greg can just play with them he can just go along the line and sort of prod everyone and get them to do their little their little party trick and everyone plays together really well as well it's brilliant it's brilliant fun um let's uh i've got some series seven facts here actually kerry okay um

you won series seven correct so there you go you go. Good fact. Great fact. By one point. One point more than Jess. It was very tight. Very tight indeed. Here's something I didn't know until I definitely did all the research into these facts. You won three episodes over the series. Rod and James also won three episodes.

It was all very close. It was all to play for, that series. Honestly, right to the wire, I didn't know who was going to win it. Well, Jess won one episode, which is amazing that she only won one and was so close to winning it. And Phil didn't win any. So I don't think Phil was ever close to winning the series. No, you're absolutely right. But I make fun of James all the time for coming second bottom and being a terrible contestant. He won three episodes. I should start taking that back. Yeah, no, he did very well.

You won four prize tasks and you won three live tasks, but two of those were individually and one was with Jess. I think I cheated and got disqualified from one live task as well, didn't I? I don't have that on my, my facts are already positive. If you want to make a montage of me looking livid, I put, there's quite a few opportunities.

No one's ever done that. Just a montage of Fury. I was furious that I got disqualified. And then they just showed me like VAR and I was like, yeah, fair do. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough, I did cheat. If you want to see a montage of Kerry looking livid, it's called Series 7 of Taskmaster.

I love montages. Right at the end.master i love montages emotional montages that's the new way forward so let's talk about the first prize task of series seven of Taskmaster. Prize task is the thing that most people would like to touch. I think it was a good one. It was a good prize task. And I don't think anyone took it in the direction that I necessarily would have expected. I thought we'd have a lot more sort of tactile things,

maybe, you know, things with lots of texture, a furry thing, you know. Yeah, do you know what I mean? No one did that, really. Now I watched it, but when I watched it back, I agree. I thought, God, no one's gone for like a furry, spiky sort of squishy thing. But that might be the route one thing, I guess.

So I think everyone's immediately trying to think outside the box, which is a good sign. I think we've got some high-level Taskmaster players here. Yeah, two people did a very similar thing. Yeah. And Rod went straight in for ripping the piss out of Greg. Well, Rod set his stall out early in the series, didn't he? Absolutely.

I think pretty much every prize task from then on in was related to greg in some way yeah absolutely yeah rod brought in blue ted which is greg's cuddly toy that i mean they beat around the bush in the uh in the episode uh greg used to fuck it um absolutely he touched it in every way in every in every bad way um but that's in his stand-up as well you see so i think i i like that rod is using his knowledge of greg in the prize tasks but this is he's just scratched the surface because it's in it's in greg's stand-up so he's just using greg's material against him yeah yeah that's smart it is smart um but i just it gets four points this i don't know how you felt in the studio at the time, Kerry.

I don't remember. You probably didn't have time to deconstruct all the points. I think this one was fair. Watching it back, I think this one was fair because I do think Phil's was great. That was the best thing to touch. Yeah, I think Phil's was great. I don't think Rod should have got four points

because the task is the thing most people would like to touch. Yes, and I get you. Ain't no one wants to touch Blue Ted because Greg's had his dick in it, right? So the only person who wants to touch it is Greg and that's what Greg judged it on based on how much he wanted to touch it. So it shouldn't have been any points, really.

Oh, I really wish I could go back in time and make that point. You probably did make the point at the time and it was just edited out. You probably lost your mind at it. Absolutely. Jess, I think when you say two people did a similar thing, Jess and James, I think, did a similar thing. So Jess brought in a sign that said, do not touch,

leading to, I think, the most philosophical discussion ever on Taskmaster. That if it's not next to anything, it's referring to itself. And then what's the point of the sign? Yeah, that was very pleasing. Early doors, that's a pretty great way to go isn't it yeah that kind of conversation i think so but i i get it though i i i get the logic behind it that if you're told not to touch something all you want to do is touch it yeah i guess that is true that was a fair and one was the mc hammer reference and one was the literal sign, yes. Yeah, but it's almost, I think the sign is a better version of that because if something directly says do not touch, you have to touch it.

James is, of course, a great joke and it kicks off the whole series. It was very well timed, yeah. Very well timed. It's a lovely joke, but do you want to touch a cardboard cutter of MC Hammer? Not particularly. Not particularly. And I never, did we ever find out what MC Hammer was referring to? joke but do you want to touch a cardboard cutout of mc hammer not particularly not particularly and i never do we did we ever find out what mc hammer was referring to it's very 80s rap in uh well 90s meaning in the sense that it's just about the song itself it's very it's very

it is what is he referring to and if it's just the song what's the point in the song quite a good song though it look it is it is a good song but i i can't for the life of me work out what it's about what mc hammer's talking about you can't touch this i guess he i guess he's just saying you're not as good as i'm the best yeah i'm the best you can't touch this so it's not even a physical touch really okay um so it should be deserve many points no he didn't deserve any points he got two and jess got one and i think it should have been the other way around um you brought in a newton's cradle i was quite pleased with that which i thought was great because you don't see one of those and and just leave it alone do you you have you have to go for it and

you have to click absolutely it's compulsory touching it's compulsory touching for the click clack and unfortunately you were punished because greg had one of those in his past and didn't enjoy it yeah that seemed a bit harsh yeah i think it was he kind of got the premise of what i was saying he completely understood the premise he went too subjective like he did with bt it's like, not just you, Greg, all people, they want to touch a Newton's credit. All people. But that worked in Phil's favour. Greg really wanted to touch Phil's toy chariot.

And of course, it's the first time that we hear Phil's little story about haggling for the thing at the market, which as soon as he did it the first time and it worked, and then he did it the second time, I phil it's absolutely hilarious because you're gonna have to stick with this and it is the definition of diminishing returns there is absolutely no way that's going to work a third time round but he did it anyway and that's what i respect absolutely that that was phil's whole approach probably with the decision with the outfit as well because it

was the that's a newton's a newton's cradle i don't want to touch it was a great choice when the reveal of that as well and same with the haggling gag it's like people are gonna laugh hard the first time then they're gonna feel upset and queasy then they're gonna giggle again and're going to go on a long journey with that crutch zone right up until the uh the denouement which was of course the hula hooping uh leading to the most horrific gif of all time um and i do feel for phil that it's funny when you watch this back and remember what an amazing start phil had he he won the first prize task he absolutely smashes it with the intro to the prize task he's so happy and grinning and then and then the tasks start getting shown you're like oh phil

you've absolutely fucked this yeah what happened to him now looking back it's really tragic how strong he started how amazingly started and then we come to task one a little bit and it's one of the biggest drop-offs in quality from prize tasks to opening task i've ever seen in my life it's so funny yeah but the toy chariot is wonderful of course you want to touch it you want to flick the switch it's a very satisfying thing to watch just gets a massive laugh traveling across the screen well done phil there's so much hope in those eyes when that gets five points um it was five points for Phil, four points for Rod, two points for James, two points for you, Kerry, and one point for Jess. I've gone more of a classic route, and I've got a little toy chariot with a man driving

it. Absolute classic. Here's the toy. There's a little switch on the side. Do you want me to show you what happens when you touch the button? Of course I do. OK. That is solid. I bought it in Indonesia. Yeah. So it's exotic. It's, um...

I haggled for this. The guy in the market, he said, 100,000 rupiah, and then I said, 50,000, and he said, 100,000, and I said, 70,000, and then he said, 000 rupiah and then i said 50 000 and he said 100 000 and i said 70 000 and he said 100 000 so i paid 100 000 task one first task proper design and demonstrate the best quick change outfit best and quickest quick change outfit wins you have have one hour. Your time starts now. I'd say, Kerry, I think you and Jess really were the only two who understood the assignment here.

Well, my first statement upon reading it was, I don't know what that means. So I did have to have it explained to me. But once it was explained to me, I moved fast. And the objective was speed you know objective was speed the objective was speed velcro is key that's one of the catchphrase from this episode velcro is key you more than anyone employed a uh male stripper slash drag queen approach to this task yeah with the velcro because obviously the drag queen you have big like outfit reveals you know all

always impressive always get some on drag race and then of course i think about the full monte where they had their trousers to rip them off quickly yeah and it was perfect that's what you did my only issue with your quick change was the people pulling the outfit off weren't strong enough and they didn't do it quickly enough so there's a slightly awkward moment where they just you're just sort of stood there with your arms out and they're using like very thin um fishing wire which probably wasn't quite strong enough for the fabric and all that stuff but it was effective it was very it was very effective velcro is key get me this and you absolutely nailed it i'm very pleased with that wonderful to watch 3.6 seconds hugely impressive jess also really

understood i think and her two outfits were great the haunting bride um i love it though greg didn't quite realize that was a bride right what what's going on there yeah that was hilarious um and into the 80s aerobic instructor i don't know quite what this quite what the story was there uh between between well it makes sense if you're gonna go with like you need to have big bulky outfit on top yes skinny clingy outfit underneath not the other way around ed that would be an utter disaster that would be i mean most of my childhood was spent dressing up i had a dressing up box as a kid with loads of old dresses in it and hats and shoes and things like that.

So I got quite into my childhood. I had probably a wedding dress not dissimilar from Jesse's one in that box. Old lady hats. Not at your wedding, you mean? No, that would have been a bad look. I don't know if ben would have gone through with it if that's how i dropped up down the aisle like a mrs haversham style creeping towards him um i really like jess's jess's quick change outfit if i mean yours was

more efficient but because she was doing hers behind the curtain it felt more impressive if you see what i mean because it came off quick as well um four seconds only just slower than yours uh but yeah really really strong work so those are the two good ones and then and then the boys maybe it's because they didn't dress up so much when they were kids we had good dressing up skills it's just because they're useless yeah fair james is i don't i don't know what he was playing i don't know what james was doing i mean this is when i think i said that in the well i said that a lot at one point i don't know what he's doing that became my catchphrase another catchphrase what is he doing well that's that's what i love i had actually written down one of

my favorite things about this whole series and one of my favorite um sort of moods to see you in is you desperately trying to work out what james is doing or trying to understand because obviously you think in a certain way and it makes sense to me the way you think but you trying to wrap your head around things that james acaster is doing and going why would any why would anyone do that why would anyone do that and again i think in that? And again, I think in this episode, again, and I'm quite pleased that I said it. I can't remember what task it was in reference to when I said, but what other way would I have done that?

Yeah, yeah. It's like, I'm just amazed by the way some people's brains work. Well, him in particular. I mean, this is crazy. And what's crazy about it? So he has a dress on his back and a suit on his front. Mad. And then he says he has another outfit, but it's just his normal clothes.

And the character. And the character. Which I think is displacement activity, because he knows it's shit. So he's like, if I do a funny voice, no one will notice it's shit. 100%. 100%. He also comes up with this so quickly. He's holding the task, and he just looks up at

alex and goes i've got an idea this was not he not he not thought of the way you did it and then thought i'll do something different this was his first thought this was his go-to is strap two outfits to myself and just spin around and say that's a quick change i texted him this morning about it i mean i've forgotten how bad your quick changes and he said how dare you i did three different outfits it's awful he stands by it yeah but fortunately for him not the worst not the worst i mean rod somehow gets three points because it was quick but he just this was not a quick change outfit this quick changes are not are not taking off your pants on top other you know all the lads all the lads on the stag do going to the quick change club you know yes he did have stag do vibes it had definite stag vibes

because you could see that he was like cracking up he just thought it was hilarious i mean it's so funny it's mad ed i forgot how mad it is it's it's the craziest moment I thought watching it I was like this is crazy and again poor Alex and we see he's cocking it we see it's not even his bum he gets exposed yeah he gets exposed Rod keeps his hat on which makes it seem filthier to me it's like a way like a builder's taking alex's panties off his panties absolutely revolting shut that down immediately so revolting i mean yeah this is why this this thing is why they picked this task to go first i think yeah just to open with alex with his ass and as you say part of his cock it's just extraordinary that that happened I clearly shut it out of my memory I had

I don't remember that yeah when I watched it yesterday I was like good god that happened there's no it's not a quick change either I mean I don't really think you should have got any points it's not a point change babe it's assault and what's amazing as well is um is the last episode the previous episode of taskmaster that was broadcast was the last episode of series six where lisa got alex to sit bare-ass on a cake so two episodes in a row he's had his arse out yes absolutely this is what i said it's his brand to get his arse out it is really his brand that's your brand isn't it that was such a good line um and phil i mean this is the drop-off in quality i do not have the pace that phil goes at i mean he's a very laid back guy so anything speed based

is not Phil's forte but it's in the name of the task the thing is called quick change so why did he opt out of that why did he opt out of quick that was him being quick him doing a quick change

is slower than I get dressed in the morning I mean I don't know if he's willfully subverting the whole premise of the show i don't think he is or that's his tempo or he's having a breakdown i think he says he says on the show i think he was focused more on the outfit the outfit change and turning one outfit into another so i think he might have got mixed up and sort of mainly focused on practically changing the ascot dress into a gardening outfit and reusing everything as a different thing right hence it took him 45 seconds to get changed and he commentated on what he was doing at every stage behind the door he got very lost and i loved it that they had that footage of that camera yeah showing that that was absolutely brilliant

absolutely outstanding just so slow just watching a man really taking his time doing a task that has the word quick in it but i think now it's you know straight away we start to see who the key players in the game are and what people's aims are because you get immediately like this is what we need to do get me this get me this get me this you pull it off impressively jess equally impressive rod's aim get alex's dick and balls and bum out yeah james be a total idiot and a weirdo phil just take your time yeah you're right and it does bear out it does bear out yeah i think that's why it's such a good series as well because i think everyone establishes their roles immediately um yeah plays their plays

their part to a t there's a lot of really good quality bickering isn't there in this like god rod and phil really go for it oh my god especially this second task it starts i started to get worried people they're tearing chunks off each other it's amazing yeah for a first episode but i quite like that because actually that was one of the things that i think maybe worked well for series seven is that we all kind of vaguely knew each other yeah so there was a bit of shorthand with the studio whereas if if you're with like uh four other opponents that you don't know very well you're not going to start being sort of comedy mean straight away i think you know that both you and i would yeah we would but some people are nicer

than us yeah they wouldn't you know when you're playing fighting and you just punch way too hard i made them cry but i think you're right i think the fact fact that you all had a bit of a shorthand and you didn't mind sort of laying into people. Although I think Rod is also, regardless of whether Rod knew someone or not, he'd absolutely go for them. Yeah, that is his style, yeah. But he's a nitpicker, isn't he? He's a total pedant.

And actually, you're right, because I remember at one point on one of the Lifestyles, he shouted at someone in the audience quite abusively so you're right he will shout at strangers as well great when they were trying to throw something at him i remember him like no you prick just bellowing you what are you a prick as they were failing to get it to him. No filter whatsoever? Absolutely no. Brilliant. Was it a change, do you think? Yeah. A change? I was... I started off as a groom and I turned into a bride.

Just a bit of narrative to it. So, like... To start off, you know, as a guy, he's like, welcome to the kitchen. Yeah. And then a sexy lady comes out. Yeah. And then a boy is born. Was that the child? Yeah, it was a little boy at the end. Was that really the narrative, or have you just made that...?

I just had to make it up. I'm trying to get points. Yeah, yeah. Task two, build the highest tower. You have five minutes from when your first box is assembled you have a maximum time of 20 minutes from now this task is like my nightmare gary yeah i hated it this is awful i don't know i mean who would enjoy this apart from phil who messed it up massively yeah um just dreadful i mean just the the idea of building the boxes flat and then trying to put them out and then seeing them fall over i mean it sort of boxes flat and then trying to put them out and then seeing them fall over.

It sort of reminded me of me trying to build the thing for the ducks as well, actually. Just everything collapsing in front of your eyes. Just awful. Well, it was one of those ones where you know that it's really quite a simple thing and you're doomed to fail because there's a limit to what you can realistically

achieve like is there is there something i failed to that's what i was saying in the it's like there's no other way of doing this no i will build it as far as my height allows and then i will stop that is all i can do that is all you can do and you did you did do it very well i mean you got four points that's the problem with james. James had watched too much Taskmaster going in. You see, I had... But all the things he remembered were times where people had found clever ways around things or there was a secret way of solving...

That still doesn't justify what James was doing in that one. No, but I think he decided that he could redefine the word tower by putting a box up a tree and saying that was a tower. I mean, he completely lost his mind. He thought he could redefine gravity. Yeah. What thought he could redefine gravity. Yeah. What was he doing? I love how many years later it is.

You're still just as angry. Well, you've really accessed my rage because I watched it yesterday. I was like, yeah, still don't know what that man was doing. What's he doing? It's so great. And I have that. I mean, because I do a podcast with james

um and he's obviously an individual thinker uh and he says some pretty strange stuff sometimes quite regularly our guest will hear what james says and then look at me for a translation and it's exactly it's the exact face that you make when when he's doing that box going like what is what is this guy where's this guy from what planet is he on totally what where's he coming from because if it's purely for comedic you're like right i don't want to piss on anyone else's comedy porch if this is if this is as the old phrase goes as the old phrase goes one comic to another don't piss on someone else's comedy porch because if they're going down a road a comedic road you don't want to you know spoil it

but sometimes you're like i don't know what you're doing i don't know where you're coming from well he didn't either he wasn't going down a comedic road there he was genuinely trying because i know him i can see on his face there when he's chucking the box up and because he's like half laughing and half serious he's not doing a bit there yeah no yeah you can see he's made a decision knows it's shit and he's sticking with it yeah yeah but it's the it's the rope he makes gaffer rope he tries to run up a tree i mean good god yeah absolute madness one point obviously absolutely phil this is tragic for phil. Firstly, this is the first time we see the goods. Yeah, which gets a suitably good laugh.

But it's so funny that we don't see it in the first task. Because he's sat behind the table and then he's in a different outfit. This is the first time we see him walking through the woods with everything jiggling around. It's the worst outfit anyone could possibly pick do you think it's the worst taskmaster outfit i mean in it it's also the best yeah so brilliant but in terms of comfort and what it's done in terms that he'll never be forgotten for that like that no it's brilliant you're right i think bar um now lisa's beard in champion of champions yeah it's the

biggest laugh you get when they yes you know in it one when you see it for the first time for sure well apparently phil did not realize how mad it was until they did the team they did the team's husk day and he arrived with with james and rod and james and rod would burst out laughing they're like what what the fuck have you done and he's like what and he had no idea and he'd filmed like all of his tasks already i've heard that yeah absolutely and the crew were like laughing yeah really they stitched him up yeah they knew of course they knew but it's like so it's it's just supportive enough to be able to show everything, but also not supportive at all so everything's wobbling around.

Absolutely. It's just the worst of both worlds. It's a great idea. It's a brilliant idea. Oh, it's great. Yeah, I really love it. The colour and the indignity of it and the high hopes and the cock and balls. I mean, you can't lose. And the cock and balls.

I mean, you can't lose. And the cock and balls. And somehow a man with camel toe is brilliant. Yeah. That's what we need. What a female gets to do now is to go all the way with a camel toe. Because we've got a bloke do it. Now a woman has to do it.

Come on. I would absolutely love that. That would be hilarious. Yeah, great. Because he builds a good tower, does Phil? Yeah, and he says right at the... Yeah, what is it cambridge yeah you know that little herd of universe he's a cambridge graduate with an engineering degree and i did when i remember watching that in the studio and thinking oh actually he is going to be amazing at these sort of tasks yeah but. Not really. No, unfortunately it was,

he decided that he hadn't assembled a full box because it was open at the top. Yeah. And so his time had started way before he thought it had started. So it was only one box by the time his time ran out. And I feel, I do feel bad for him because I feel like in the moment then, Alex should have said that's a box now.

So your time started. Well, that's the funny zone of Alex's contributions. Yeah. That's the sort of tricky area with what he can and can't say. Yeah, but then because it's a time, because the time starts when the box is assembled. Surely Alex would have had a timer and would have started it so you can see when your time started.

Yeah, fair enough. It's a weird one. And I do feel bad for Phil, but it's obviously funnier that he only got a full box with the flaps out and that was it, so to speak. Yeah. Jess, heartbreaking to watch. Brilliant though.

Absolute telly gold. Standing there with her hands on her hips while it falls down behind her was absolutely standing around turning around looking right down the camera as it flops down behind her and that's it and she's right everyone else got like people were laughing at phil laughing at james and jessica she was so proud of herself and so proud of her tower and then just to see it fall down was just pure sympathy because it was just right and her whole um backstory her origin story with boxes was fabulous yeah really good working behind the scenes at a hospital yeah i loved all that i honestly believe that at that point you could have said anything to her about her job and she

would have gone yeah go on then i then. I think she was broken. She was broken already. Let's talk about Rod's Tower briefly. I mean, I think this was, again, pretty straightforward. Both yours and Rod's were pretty straightforward. He, of course, put it up in the foliage and that seemed to annoy Phil. Oh, because he used the tree to support? Yeah, but it just says highest tower. Then in the studio, it was defined as freestanding or part of another structure. But it wasn't oh because he used the tree to support yeah but it just says highest tower

then in the studio it was defined as freestanding or part of another structure but it wasn't you've got to lean it but you've got to lean it up against something

haven't you yeah totally it didn't say in the task that you couldn't do that it didn't say freestanding did it no it didn't say freestanding no that's mean

I think that's absolutely fine and he got the five points and yeah it doesn't matter it wasn't freestanding Phil was biting into a corner. It was a brilliant idea, albeit a bendy. What did he call it? The thing in the middle?

Internal, natural internal scaffolding. That was brilliant. Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Good idea. I think Phil was backed into a corner because he shouldn't have mentioned he had an engineering degree.

Absolutely. Worst thing you can do. Yeah, especially with your goolies swinging about like that. Engineer yourself a proper pair of pants, Phil. Absolutely. It was one point for James, two points for Phil, three points for Jess, four points for you, Kerry,

and five points for Rod. Okay, Phil, I'm going to be the first one to address it. It's the first time we've seen your outfit full length. Yeah. How are you feeling about it? LAUGHTER Well, it's Bruce Lee's Game Of Death outfit. Sure, and yet that's not what I see. LAUGHTER

I saw a Game Of Death. LAUGHTER I just wanted to make an homage to one of the greatest Asian entertainers in history. And also you get to see my dick and balls. Yeah. Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more. At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada.

We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the Earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Task three. I mean, this is this is outstanding. work out the circumference of the caravan in

baked beans you have three minutes most accurate wins your time starts now this is this is what causes james to say are we the stupidest lot yet because some of the some of the ways of solving this i don't know how I would have done it, Kerry, but this is amazing. But again, this is one of those ones, yet again, where I am slightly embarrassed because I think, oh, I'm doing something either too obvious, too root one, or a bit shit because I'm so bad at maths or whatever. And then I watch everyone's back and I go, oh, you're not the worst.

You're not the worst at maths. You're not the worst at working things out. I mean, what was Phil doing? He poured the beans into the floor. I don't know. I think he thought, in Baked Beans, he thought, like, how many beans to make just a ring around the caravan? I mean, it's like he was doing some sort of protection spell.

Yes, it was really odd odd or an art installation but it wasn't it was it was an engineering slash maths question which he's got a degree in we've already established yeah absolutely my only watching it back i was like oh damn it i i was gutted i did i did include the garden which seems now looking back stupid yeah but you still you somehow still got the i mean so you're really wrong for what you were trying to do yeah um yeah it still wasn't the worst but still i mean you were you were the best you got the closest um but phil pouring i mean look i'm dumb right i would have really struggled with this i would have ended up holding one bean and dotting it around a lot like james did but pouring baked beans around the caravan is bananas I don't know how crazed crazed I loved it though just everyone did something a bit different which and it's the sort

of task where you expect people just to do it the same right yeah and this is the one where Greg I love the way Greg described me as a malfunctioning cyborg that I was trying to do sums that's one of my favorite favorite phrases from would you say 50 times 10 is 5 000. I mean it's really embarrassing me getting maths wrong is a recurring theme in my life um but like you say getting a slight a sum wrong and eventually getting it right is nothing compared to pouring beans around the caravan or doing sums on the window with bean juice which again made me go oh yeah that's bad doing sums on the window with bean juice you trying to do maths in your head and then really getting angry that rod used things from the house yeah which actually it didn't say of course of course you of course you can you can do it in anything you can it doesn't as long as it doesn't

specifically say on the task, you're not allowed to leave this area or you're not allowed to use anything else. But I do think that's a thing that if you're familiar with the show, you know that. Yes, but I think they tell you that when you go before you do any tasks. It didn't even occur to me that I was allowed to get a tape measure,

a calculator, anything. Was this quite early on, do you remember? Can't remember. It might have been. Yeah. Also, any task where someone's holding an umbrella which i am in this one you can see that that people's mood is quite affected by the weather like i've done one in the snow i've done one in the rain you know it's like i i seem to i was trying to work out when i did it but clearly it was winter i'm wearing a you know coat and scarf and I've got an umbrella up. So some tasks you just want to crack on if it's pissing down with rain, don't you?

Well, yeah. I mean, and this is my theory that Rose Matafayo in Series 9, which is a series I did as well, I think all of her task days it was raining. You can see in most of the task days it's pissing it down with rain. And I think if it hadn't have been, if she'd had slightly better weather she would have won yeah you see i think that's a fair point because a lot of it is outdoors yeah and you want to get a wriggle on if it if it's really raining you can't be hanging around doing stuff can you and it's just sort of less impressive yeah and everyone's in a worse mood um but oh well the weather the weather beat her well the

weather was my friend with the snow because oh yeah yeah. Because the circle in the snow was, I mean, there aren't many snow opportunities anymore. Rod, I think, had the best technique. Yeah, because he had a calculator and a tape measure. Yeah, because he had a calculator and tape measure. He measured the circumference, divided it by what he thought to be the size of the bean. The problem being is he didn't get a mean bean measurement and also which is a bit cruel now when i watched it back i thought that's a bit mean but you can't argue with what he said 1275 beans like that is way out

right yeah that was out but saying you have to include bean juice just seems mad to me that is mad you shouldn't count the juice on a bean no No. I think you, I think that it should be, or at least then say, work out the circumference of the caravan in juicy baked beans. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly.

You need clarity, clarity of instruction. I quite like that I use my hand like a medieval woman, like a sort of pre-technology. What are they called? Like a horse's hand where you use your hand with but that made

sense when you have a hand but that made sense to me because that's always the same right that measurement from your thumb to your finger so if you work out how many beans are there that should work and it did work for you i mean you you weren't you weren't that far off for such a silly thing you weren't medieval better than doing what james did which was literally sticking beans onto the caravan again bean by bean again i mean did he mean to do that did he think that would work or is that just a comedy decision i don't know what what the backstory is again i'm sure it's all a mix of both i think you probably got to sticking two beans on and then like in a genuine attempt to do it and then realized how insane it

was and then he was in yeah and then he was in it i mean the line it's at least four that's what i mean you get and visually it looks hilarious oh it looks so sad the bean just just dripping down the side and he stuck four beans on yeah um and jess again that we get another amazing visual of her not thinking to get a pen and paper from from the house or ask anyone to write anything down uh doing maths on the window with bean juice yes brilliant like some mad child has been trapped in the house um just incredible i mean all of you all of you mad it's a great task it's a really good but this is on paper before anyone's done it that is not that is not a good task no because i think people are

going to do the same sorts of things and this is why alex is a genius because he he knows what what's going to produce incredible results and this it's such a disparate there's disparate techniques and everyone does something insane also whenever i mean what i did find reassuring watching it back is that i think i'm bad at math but i realize i'm not the only one that maths makes people the thought of doing any maths on television yeah it's just it sends you into a sort of frenzy yeah and you and you just your brain goes into a scramble of chaos it's yeah it's you know entertaining, but deeply humiliating. So it was one point for Phil

and a deserved one point. Two points for Rod, amazingly. Three points for Jess. Four points for James for sticking the beans. Yeah, that seems,

I just think that scoring wasn't great actually now watching it back. Rod should have done a lot better on that one. It's who got closest, right? Yes. So, you great, actually, now watching it back. Rod should have done a lot better on that one. It's who got closest, right? Yes. So, you know, Rod was really far out.

Rod said 1,275 because he didn't think of the Mean Bean, which is also the title of the episode. And it was five points for you. It's a very strong episode for you, this, Kerry. And Rod, to be fair. It is, isn't it? Watching it back. Yeah.

I remember being very, very surprised on the night and being like, bloody hell. I thought I'd be awful. No, I mean, it's, it's a really, really strong episode and a very strong series in general for you,

but you and Rod really emerging as a key players in this first episode. One, two, three, four, five, six, 16, two, three, four, five, six. 16.

20. 15 times 50. I'm not very good at maths. You've got one minute. What's 15 times 50? I'm afraid you have to do it yourself, Kerry. 15, whatever 15 times 50 is, is the answer. You've still got 45 seconds.

15 times 50. 10 times 50 is 5,000. 700. 700 baby yeah is that a coincidence it's such a round number that's 15 it's 750 baked beans let's talk about the live tasks um some really good lives tasks live tasks in this series of course um we're all looking forward to chatting about a sausage or finger uh in the final in the final episode which is one of the best live tasks ever um but let's talk about this one make the best fruit display hat you may not

touch or tamper with your hat only the fruit picker uppers may touch the fruit you may only hold the fruit picker uppers by their the fruit. You may only hold the fruit picker uppers by their handles. Best fruit display hat wins. You have 100 seconds. Now, I love watching this because... It's great, isn't it? And what I realised watching it back is that I must have overheard Rod say to Phil,

should we collaborate? And then I said to Jess, let's do that then. Yeah. And then poor James is completely left out. It's so funny. It looks really cruel, like a sort of school playground bullying video. But what's great about it is he's immediately left out,

but I think that must have happened to him all the time in the playground because he just takes to it so quickly. He's actually quite happy. Yeah, he's like, I'll fight that. Just me again by myself. But it was quite nice to watch that it only worked because, you know, most of us collaborated.

That task is unachievable, really. Oh, it's almost impossible. And it's wonderful to watch everyone collaborate. It's the long spoon analogy of heaven or hell, isn't it? It's the long spoons, as we all know. In every episode of Taskmaster, there's a Bible analogy. And this is the long spoons and it's lovely to see Phil

and you know how much I love massive spoons it's one of my favourite moments look at these massive spoons, I didn't know it was a Bible moment after all and it's lovely to see Phil and Rod collaborating after their little Barney during the episode as well

that's what I love about this whole episode is people can really go at each other and then immediately be like, japing about. Yeah, and that's, I mean, yeah, there is a huge argument later on in the series where I don't think relationships were ever repaired. The garage door situation. Also lovely to see James employ his bizarre physicality this early on in the series he somehow sort of folds himself up like a puppet just sweeps all the all the fruit stealing the melon off Jess they're brilliant slapstick, aren't they?

Oh, they really are. They're proper physical comedy. They're brilliant. But when you're doing them and they're going on for ages, because as a viewing audience at home, you don't get to see the full extent of the prize. Sometimes they go on for like 40 minutes to silence by the end because everyone's so tired and bored.

And did you ever do any that literally didn't work, where they'd go, oh, it's not worked not not to the extent that you had in your series yeah we had a couple of hanging hanging the stuff on the on the line and then it immediately worked it didn't work it's so funny i can't wait to talk about that one as well because i think they try them out don't they on crew or whatever they do yeah i think all of us all of us work i mean you know there were plenty that i didn't do well but um i have talking about night terrors about regrets i have regrets about my champion of champions live task do you because i should have double double bluffed i should have put bricks i should have put bricks in there and

then overacted and then done a double double bluff but to do the balloons and then pretend it was heavy but we can all regret that can't we can all get that time because you all the only other option was doing the other thing i know but you've got to i just i really deep i have so many regrets about that one well i i think i don't have regrets about that one because i think that's one of my favorite live tasks ever yeah it was really in terms of what everyone did and i've said it on the podcast before i'll say it again lisa saying i'm an interesting old lady is one of the funniest things i've ever seen in my life it's so good so good so much fun that task and you're you i mean you push it so much the overacting is so funny like even to the point you get halfway and everyone's

going oh fucking hell. That's why I should have had bricks in there. Yeah. Oh, it was wonderful. But in this live task, James got two points. Jess got three. You and Phil got four. And it was five points for Rod.

But that was not enough to win Rod the episode. It was 20 points for you. Very strong. Rod, 19 points. Jess, 20 points for you, very strong. Rod 19 points, Jess 14 points, Phil 13 points and James 11 points. So it's already, I mean, it's already pretty much shaping up as it went. You know, Jess is going to climb up there, but yeah, you're on top. And then James and Phil languishing at the bottom of the leaderboard there. A few emails for you here, Kerry. Yes.

We've been through the postbag. This one's not even a question. This is from Bethany in Somerset. Not a question, but if Kerry Godliman is on the podcast again, please tell her how great i thought her the greatest thing play was for her prize task on champion champions 2 ed i appreciate yours was very fancy but carrie's personified her bosh catchphrase love the podcast and the show well she's touched a nerve because again i that deserved more it deserved more it definitely deserved more if i

could go back i'd maybe cut it a bit yours was brilliant yours was my favorite i think that was one of my favorite ever prize tasks that was well thank you i appreciate that and i did enjoy i enjoyed the greatest thing play i think the issue was and i think i could tell you were panicking straight away because as soon as it started i saw g Greg go all right yeah I see I see what you're doing and then it went on for another five minutes exactly it's like the big laugh was at the top and maybe it should have just been everybody says it's the greatest thing and then I've done the task and I've made everybody says this didn't I said this on the night and I don't think it made the edit but i really thought you were going to give richard no lines and that that would have absolutely killed me if yeah that would have been good because everyone the tile said everyone and that includes richard herring and that's why

i'm a literalist i still think mine was the most successful because it's not a subjective opinion i made everyone say wow that really is, wow, that really is the greatest thing. Right on the button. We wouldn't expect anything less from you, Kerry. It was great. There was that wonderful world. Didn't score me much. No, it didn't score you much, unfortunately.

What I really liked about that whole night is we were all bullying Richard so much and then he won. And then he won. I know. Unbelievable. What have we learned ed um sorry don't bully richard don't bully richard he'll always come up come up trumps hi ed and kerry i'm a massive fan of both of you you're two of my all-time favorite contestants thanks lucas my question is when katie wicks was unable to attend filming Kerry you stepped in for her

which was the result of one of my favorite ad quotes you're not even on this show yeah that was great here's the question it's a great question if you are unable to attend filming who would you ask to step in for you and why and same question to. You know why it was me and Catherine? Kay, Katie, Kerry and Catherine. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, isn't it? I think, anyway.

So you could sit in the same place. So we could sit in the same place. Both champions. Yes, exactly. Yeah. And available. And available. Turns out, available.

It turned out maybe there were some other people asked before and then they made the Kay thing work. Well next day after you and katherine did it the next day when they thought katie might not be able to come back in or might have to stop halfway through a recording day paul chowdhury was just backstage all day exactly ready to go he was just he was stood at the top of the stairs every time we finish an episode going oh how did that go like pretty well paul he's like yeah all right i'll be here just in case just call me if you need me um so if you would you have to have a previous uh taskmaster contestant or just no i think anyone who would you get anyone who would

you get dead or alive i think let's let's limit it to comedians who could be on Taskmaster slash have been on Taskmaster. Oh, I don't know. Billy Connolly, someone like that maybe. Would you? Yeah, that'd be good, wouldn't it? He should do it. What about from previous Taskmaster contestants?

Previous Taskmaster contestants. Oh, I'd love Lisa. I think Lisa's wonderful. I could just watch her all day long. Roisin. Yeah. Rob Beckett. Yeah, I think almost you'd have to try and go like for like

because you'd want someone who would defend your tasks with the energy with which you would defend your tasks. Yeah, absolutely. Who would I have? Who would get? I mean, maybe Wozniak would be good because I i mean maybe wasniak uh i'd be i'd be good because i think what wasn't yet would be good at is even if you'd not spoken to him about what you did in the tasks he could try and interpret in his way what you thought what he thought you were

trying to do like well what i thought ed was doing there yeah that would be great i'd love to see that this is from lexi uh kerry if you had to do your group tasks with one of the boys instead of with Jess, which one would you most want to be paired with? Oh, that's a really good question. Not Rod. I know that straight away. I just, he just texts me. James or Phil, actually.

I'd be happy with James or Phil, but I just know that Rod would drive me bananas in the way that he did drive Phil and James bananas because he just he just would be he took leadership didn't he he was like we're doing it my way and you can see sometimes James and Phil are like

is this a team we're a team it's so funny because it's what makes rod so brilliant and such an amazing comic yeah that he is so dedicated to doing things in his own vision and is so dogged and so specific in his in in his approach to things and that's why he's a brilliant stand-up comic but when he's when he's got when he's got to work on a team in Taskmaster it's it's impossible because he's like no we're doing this yeah absolutely just fantastic to watch poor Phil and James just getting carried along with well just the but I think one of the best moments of the series and of course we'll talk about it is when they're doing that team task

where uh they're trying to build a structure um and Rod goes off to do his own thing leaving Phil and James to get on with the thing that they've agreed to do and then James looks up and Phil's just been just wandered over to Rod's thing and started helping him because Rod's going

come over here and that does have one of my favourite lines from the series which is James saying I really wanted to be with the girls I said I wished I'd been with the girls it's the most petulant tantrum. It's great.

And me and Jess did have a lovely time. We were building our Wendy house and doing our soap opera. It was a lot of fun. I think James would have fitted in nicely on your team until it came to the soap opera because I think it was a tour de force of acting. You and Jess bouncing off each other

doing the soap opera. And I don't think James... James would have been a speed bump in that yeah you're probably right taking it in a different direction one final question this is from Phil in Glasgow quick question for Kerry what's so great about a laminator well uh it makes a seemingly irrelevant piece of data on a piece of paper look official. Because once it's laminated, it looks like it's really important suddenly. It sort of upgrades paper to another level. Although from an environmental perspective, I sort of slightly regret the enthusiasm now. It's too much plastic, isn't it? It's probably not great.

But it just makes seemingly shit things better. Do you think it works for everything uh no just paper what do you mean i meant anything on a piece of paper i didn't mean you i'm not suggesting you laminate a cat it makes the cat better it just improves the cat if you laminate it um yeah i don't know and like if there was a set of instructions and it said you know do some chores or whatever if it was laminated you're like i better do it because it's laminated it's clearly official yeah i love it whereas if it was not laminated screw it i'm

putting it in the bin ignore it all day long even the cat um Kerry thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster so you've obviously done that twice before I'd love to hear what your rating is now I've enjoyed it probably a solid four I would have given it five but it's a very hot day. Oh my goodness, yeah. Yeah, it's the hottest day on record ever in the whole of history. And that's not even exaggerating.

No, it's really not. No, it's roasting. So even to get a four, I feel very lucky. We lose a point for that. Fine, absolutely fair. Kerry Godliman, thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

There we go. First episode of Series 7 dealt with. Thank you very much to Kerry for coming in. Please send your emails for questions about Series 7. We should hopefully be chatting to some of the people involved as well as a range of other special guests. Email taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com. Questions about the series for specific contestants, whatever you like really

tell us your favorite moments uh and we will endeavor to chat about them we'll be back next week talking about episode two of series seven but until then stay safe bye Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more. At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada.