Tea at Four - Ep 16: Relationships, Situationships and Imaginationships

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Hi, and welcome to Tea at Four! A podcast series by Four Nine, where Lauren and Christie talk about all things that should have stayed in the group chat- your icks, picks and hot takes. What is an imaginationship? Well in today's episode the girls reveal all. Lauren and Christie share their experiences with relationships, situationships and imaginationships.

she's stupid she was asking for it yeah dying for it begging for it at her dad's funeral hi and welcome back to t at four i'm christy and i'm lauren and this is the podcast where we talk all things should have stayed in the group chat christy have you seen the new concept the new delulu popping up what has been popping up please enlighten me on tiktok it is the concept of imaginationships not situationships imaginationships baby 2023's new obsession just dropped so what are we imagining like talk to me talk talk me through so the idea of an imaginationship is that you have um either one or none contact with a person okay which fuels a fantasy in your head that you're either with them or okay

imagine a relationship with them yeah um all in the confines of your mind palace but it doesn't really ever get more than that oh so it's it's real but it's not real it's real but it's not real it's real to me have you had many imagine well we were saying the other day like i miss i miss so badly like the idea of a crush yeah it's like that thing in school that has you like giggling looking at your phone telling your hair kicking your legs looking at your phone or like doing your hair nice for face facebook for like work or you know for school like the idea of a crush miss it so i guess this is just for like i mean i guess people are still kind of crushing i guess if you if you shoot your shot is that you're gonna shoot your

at your crush yeah yeah but i guess an imagination ship is taking it one step further and like truly imagining a whole i mean seeing is believing so if you actually believe inside it it's manifestation do you know what i mean so in a way i don't i don't fault imagination ships i never looked at it that way thank you for validating that my day you know oh my god yeah well so my my idea of why an imagination ship is good yeah what are the pros okay let me hear this i think i've got a very romantic idyllic view of love like a relationship situation ship whatever it is i've got a very nice idea of it in my head yeah but what is the reality of when that gets past the confines of my mind when am i going to see you because i've not got time i'm working yep you've got

navy blue bed sheets and a new york skyline canvas on your wall um three we both got no money so we can't see each other so wouldn't it be nice if i just imagine a world um to ceilings by lizzie mccalpinepine and we are living in a perfect life. I guess it's okay on your part, but on the other person's part, it's unaware. So ain't that a bit toxic? So you're imagining someone that's there

and they're like, no, bro. No, they don't know about it, but that's the beauty of it because then you don't even get the possibility of getting ghosted or rejected or disappointed. Is that unhealthy? I think it is because you're not preparing for the worst and i think in life you have to prepare for the worst really yeah because not everyone can be nice and rosy yeah my therapist did say to me i live i like to live in like the

safety box which i guess come out the safety box yeah yeah but heartbreak oh no but imagine if a guy had an imagination ship and they they lived in that safety box i'd be like yeah bobby bobby bobby you've had imagination ships yeah bobby's got tons yeah i've got loads do you yeah yeah what about you two all right okay too far oh my days i don't know i feel like it's it's okay to fantasize to dream yeah daydream but wake up oh i'm so sorry but wake up oh why it's not hurting anyone it's not but i feel like in like it depends how extreme it is okay like if it's like you know yourself it's like yeah you know i'm just imagining that's fine but there's some people that take it too far and then they actually live in a world

where you know that they imagine that they're oh my god you've watched you right yeah spoiler alert the new part two right right like the person that kidnapped phoebe she had an imagination ship that they were best friends yeah so that is that is crazy yeah or that swarm where she's imagining that she's best friends with niger you you see yeah that is crazy it is toxic but i guess the difference between someone that just enjoys the idea of something versus someone that acts on yeah a false narrative um is it like me then like you and nas when i photoshop absolutely is it is it yeah but i've seen him okay but yeah yes we've we've we've we've like it would you say it's it's affecting you to an unhealthy degree no because i know it's a banter then enjoy baby okay the world is your oyster you're nice yeah i do i do say obviously that is a healthy balance

yeah but i guess sometimes my imagination ships have gone past even my own like i was part of some of the larry larry stylenator um fans a couple years ago do you know what that is harry styles harry styles and louis tomlinson if you see this it was just a bit of fun okay what did you do i love you both separately i didn't do anything but there's there was a big canon on the internet that they were apparently together okay i've been seeing that yeah this imagination ship was that yeah they they they were in a secret relationship yeah nothing was entirely proved but there was a lot of evidence to kind of show like okay body language and the way they spoke to each other at the time

gave off the impression that they were together yeah and this went so far the fans to saying oh my god they're together their management aren't allowing them to be together they actually pushed them apart and they just stopped talking to each other um but like it kind of fizzled out after a few years but um every so often i'd get a new friend like involved in the whole like watching youtube videos like 10 reasons why larry starlinson is real yeah and i guess i had a situation where an imagination ship met real life because my friend who wasn't even that interested yeah got obsessed through watching the larry videos oh my god love amazing amazing she gets a one direction lyric tattoo on her rib okay and then ends up a few years later meeting louis tomlinson outside a club

showing him said tattoo awkward as fuck so sometimes you should stay in your own heads yeah don't don't bring it outside because then you're not it's done your situation that's like a bit like it is uncomfortable i can imagine like people saying all day every day oh oh you and you and bobby you two are amazing together you're you're obsessed I see the body language that you have it'd be annoying if it wasn't true it is true

I feel like I've had a scenario back I've actually had two scenarios actually one where somebody else created an imagination between me

and oh my good neighbour Aydan Aydan if you're alive you're out there if you're alive how interesting I mean he's my age

I haven't seen him in years oh why would you first assume he was dead you're not dead you know god forbid not dead but like right she um started a rumor because obviously we were neighbors right whatever whatever girl in our in our school she started a rumor because we were neighbors so we'd come to school together our parents would pick us up together you know we're young kids holding hands whatever whatever so then she must have said that we kissed

in the playground and created this whole like big story but it never ever ever happened and it just got me to hate her when i actually came out and found out about that she spread the rumor i got me to hate her about you and your next door neighbor yeah yeah i hate that what's the reason what's the reason that's got maliciousness behind it i mean when you're young i don't think you're being malicious just being a bit like you're teasing right but was your neighbor all right i mean i wasn't all right but you didn't give consent for this fucking exactly so it's like how how dare you you know say something like that no it's true it's true i guess um it depends how far

you go with it it's good to dream though i mean i i did have an imagination ship when i used to play out right yeah there used to be these twins that lived on the bottom of my road and they were absolutely delicious right absolutely delicious i'm not gonna lie to you yeah and um yeah we play we play out and stuff. And then at school, I'd be like, yeah, I'm going out with this person. He's a twin.

X, Y, X, Y, X, Y. Right. And then they disappeared for a bit. Dead? Like fucking next door neighbour? No, I think they went to jail. What?

Together? Holding hands? And then they've come back now. I think they're out now and then they don't they don't look the same no more so my situation ship was basically ruined because they got arrested oh my god so you were caught out in your life yeah oh my god yeah yeah i love that in school i remember um for that one time me and my friend were obsessed with these two boys from the year below that were friends. Definitely probably gay now.

Let's be real. And, oh my God, just a whole weekend was fueled by just this idea. We were just like, of, because you didn't even have social media in them days. So I was going off my true delusion. I feel like. I was like, I know his brothers and sisters. That's all I know. And I'm there like going, I'm going to call Sophie up at the weekend.

Ask her if she wants to hang out with me. Like, what? That's fucking weird. And then the Monday morning, you're like bubbling with endorphins that aren't even real like the person's most boring person in the world but i feel like back then it's actually okay for us to have imagination ships because we didn't have any source of like communication yeah whereas now it's like you can imagine that you're in a relationship or you like somebody yeah but you've got access to them like you i could dm nas right now even though he won't yeah you might not read it but i could i can access him i mean it's okay to be a bit deluded sometimes well it's like to a certain extent real life is just really harsh and disappointing so what if i like to imagine myself. Escapism is real. Escapism. Exactly.

Let me go. Let me go. Let me go. My tennis teacher, Christian, right? He was the best. We're allowed to say he's great. Well, he ain't going to fight me, is he? If he fights me, then well, we'll do what we did. But, oh my days, we used to fight.

What? Like all the girls used to fight in pe when it came because he used to come to our school right like girls want to do lessons you know tennis so we used to fight to like hold his hold hold the ball hold the racket hold the cold like that was that's really bad yeah that's not an imagination it is not a crash no because we imagine that you a child were with him. Yeah, but we didn't know anything about age.

Oh, we're just all humans walking. All right. We're all humans walking. Yeah. I mean, that's got a few people in prison. I'm sure.

So I would say, yeah, true. Arguably. Yeah. I would say like, for example, when you're on dating apps yeah when you're talking

to a person the build-up is so much more exciting than the actual meeting them and getting to know each other's false anxieties no that's me being a safety girl again sorry i'm scared i'm scared no but i get it because i feel like when you're in that process one you need to make sure that you're presenting the best version of you yeah you don't want to be weird yeah it's hard i saw a thing the other day as well not really related yeah this guy on tiktok was saying about like things that girls do that boys don't think are necessary or stuff like that and he's just like why do you why do you not take your makeup off at night after you stay around it's like fuck off okay so if i take my makeup off and then the next day you're like

guys oh my god there's a goblin in my bed what do you want me to do or for instance i'll go to bed my i take off my wig and then you wake up and you see a wig hanging on your bloody i know like what the hell but, are we just delaying the time where you get to show your true authentic self? But I do feel like when, let's say, for instance, when a girl does show her true authentic self very soon after the date, the guy's now like, why is the girl too comfortable?

So what the hell do you want me to do? True. What's the difference between a human and a goblin? What's the middle? Gobmen. Gobhuman the middle? Gobmen. Gobhuman. Men. Gobmen.

Thank you. Yeah, men. I like that. Have you heard they've come out of a sixth love language? Six. There's six love languages. It's given true Gen Z. Okay.

It's called meme teaming. The meme. Not the meme. The meme. The meme teaming. The meme teaming. Okay, speak. Talk me through it. Speak. Speak now. Speak now. Talk me through it. not the meme the meme the meme teaming the meme teaming okay speak talk to me speak

so it's essentially and i can really relate to this it's the like compatibility or conversing via using things that are trending on the internet okay sending your tiktoks back and forth okay you're sending things that make you laugh and you see how compatible you are via whether you're going it or ill yeah i guess that makes sense because i feel like my nephews and my cousins they do these is it striking right this is a strike they should be striking on um snapchat apparently is how compatible you guys are by like how many snaps streaking streaking fucking auntie hey i think i don't streaking is where you run naked i think it's just called like achieving a streak is it something like that or like yeah where they like what they mess like they send photos every day and then it ends up being like whoever's longest yeah doing it is

it that yeah no like memes is like literally sending each other videos or things that make you laugh yeah you're sending that back and forth that's supposed to be a love language these days i do that with my my girls when i send them tiktoks that are things that are funny sure so you can have love languages your friends as well i'd say the same like i feel like maybe i connect better with my friends that i share a sense of humor with versus the ones that I'm just I'm messaging yeah but then okay so I meet a guy and I send him a tiktok or a meme and then he replies back with what's that mom is that you fucking taking my phone who's that what's that so that's that that's completely like no love language there we're not compatible oh my god

i would have felt like all of my hopes and dreams my imagination ships have come crashing down with two words i thought i'll be like i'm so sorry wrong person it's a wrong person i'm gonna have to do wrong number do you know what i mean or unsend oh my god the quickness whoa yeah no i think you've you've got to i mean on an age where we're very chronically online yeah i care very much about um you know laughing laughing at the latest funny things the funniest tiktoks and if they're not on that wavelength then goodbye they're not for me what we're going to talk about we want to talk about random things and then after that there's no where's the humor yeah where's the humor i actually discovered a new wick this week. Go on.

It was where I asked someone that I know if they were on TikTok. Yeah. The answer was no, I use Instagram Reels. Oh, hell no. Now, I don't want to discourage any ideas of getting monetised on Instagram in the future. Yeah. Netta, we love you. Come on.

But there's something a little bit modern about TikTok but boomer about Instagram reels. I don't know. I feel like with TikTok like you can if that

Instagram reels like rainy it's got a white border. Not green. I have more fun sharing on TikTok than I have on Instagram. Tap.

Yeah. Repost. Yeah. I don't know. We can't even repost on you can repost on sharing on TikTok than I have on Instagram. Tap, tap. Yeah. Repost. Yeah, I don't know. We can't even repost on. You can repost on. Not on Instagram. You can repost on your story. So that's ultimately an ick.

If I would agree that sick love language is sharing memes. No, I agree with it. I'm with it. Sure. I'm with it. Sure. Yeah, I'm with it. Meme.

Good. I'm with the meme. So this is the part of the show where we play brutal. Are you excited to see what we found? Let's see the confessions. Let's go. Okay, ready? Yeah, yeah.

I'm obsessed with the smell of my cat's paws. Whenever my wife isn't in the room, I always grab the cat for a cheeky sniff. I don't think he minds as he loves the attention. I don't know how to explain it to the neighbour though Who saw me through the window Until the cat scratches your face Carry on Carry on literally

That is your baby You may do what you please Not that To be honest I don't think that's that bad People do this all the time I see TikTok They're obsessive Like animals paws

Oh no It's a bit violating For me personally But I mean yeah I don't think that's I don't think that's bad at all No That's a given fetish

I mean Boy Too far Maybe Alright I think it's you know I think it's calm It's not

It's not bad Okay So I give it like that Don't worry about your neighbour You do what you want Yeah Why is the neighbour spying on you Yeah

Why Get your own cat There you go the neighbour spying on you? Yeah. Why? Get your own cat. There you go. Go to the pet shop. Okay. Next one. My boyfriend is probably the best man on earth.

Lovable, caring, funny. Only problem is that it's impossible for me to have an orgasm when we have sex to the point that I fake having cum so that he just stops. He thinks he's good at it

and I don't have the courage to tell him how long have they been together i don't know i've not got details but he's the best man on earth clearly not because he can't be the best man the fanny is not fluttering the fanny ain't fluttering so i wonder if she can do it herself. Yeah, but then she's imagining again. Oh. Okay, well, how far can we get in life without orgasming? I feel like if you're not happy, do say.

And if you can't say, then clearly that's a problem. Can you communicate this? This is something that could be learned. Some things are quite sensitive and it depends on how the person's going to take it. Oh, really? Yeah. Nah, that's not problem I'm sure you can communicate this this is something that could be learnt some things are quite sensitive and it depends on how the person's gonna take it oh really yeah nah that's not a good relationship

no but if somebody told you that yeah you're not you're not making me feel what do you know what what are you gonna yeah I'd go into hibernation do you get it

so I feel like that's actually quite brutal that is I'd give it like a nine yeah he thinks he's so good at it and I don't have the courage to tell him yeah cause you've

gassed him up yeah gaslighting end it 2023 please tell your boyfriends Yeah, he thinks he's so good at it and I don't have the courage to tell him. Yeah, because you've gassed him up. Yeah. Gaslight him. End it. 2023. Please. Tell your boyfriends if they can't make you cum. Yeah.

Eight. I'll give that an eight. Yeah. Okay. As a widowed older man, I now live a lonely existence on my own. Sometimes I go for a drive and let cars go before me so I can get a friendly wave back.

It's not much, but it brightens my day. That's so sad. Can you imagine? I mean, what annoys me on social media is when people post pictures of old people having food on their own. And they're like, oh, it's so sad. It's like, no, he's eating. But this is actually sad. That is sad, yeah.

Like if you cried. Oh, fuck. I wish I could drive drive my way back at you so hard oh i'll be your friend oh go oh bless him oh bless him that's fucking sad brutal 10 oh that's awful i never want to be alone you think it's brutal i don't think it's that brutal i just i just it's like brutally heart-wrenching Okay fair Yeah in that way Yeah give it a 10 then Okay

Right So my girl gave me this remote control last week If I press the button I make this sex toy egg in her poom poom vibrate Long story short I thought it would be funny to do it at her dad's funeral What? She has kicked me out of the flat and I'm back at my parents.

Wait, hold on. Wait, wait and wait. She did a pum pum at her dad's funeral. She did what? Vibrated her pum pum at her dad's. So basically she still had whatever the funeral. Yes, to be fair, it's her. It's her fault.

Exactly. Why would you? She shouldn't have had that egg in. Exactly. She's stupid. She's stupid stupid she was asking for it yeah dying for it begging for it dad's funeral can you imagine your day little squeamish when you're about to be crying people start singing so i think it's a hymn oh the beat drops no yeah i feel like it's it's her wrongdoing not the guys she shouldn't have had no no you knew what you were doing cheeky girl you're dirty

wow that's funny i don't enjoy having sex with my wife anymore we haven't had sex in months yet she's really hot and i jerk off to her nudes daily no clue why you're gross what you're in an imagination ship so then why did wait hold wait that just went over my head because i don't understand it so he doesn't like having sex with her but he loves wanking off to pictures of her just get a magazine or something i feel like it's even more violating that you won't even do it with her but still has a picture of her and how recent is this picture so are you telling me to oh yeah can i get a picture today so that i can can you oh that's the revolt yeah that's out of order that's gross sweet out mate sweet out brutal sweet nine nine yeah okay i only have sex with

my boyfriend when i am drunk and when i've sobered up in the morning i don't like when he touches me he is nice and kind-hearted he just gives me he just gives out money to me whenever he wants so how can i leave a man like that do i have a problem is he your sugar daddy or something because what so she only has sex with him when she's drunk and when she's sober she doesn't fancy him anymore and he gives her money so this is a prostitution pretty woman moment cash baby cash baby maybe she's a cash baby yeah but i mean if you don't like the guy then why are you doing the deed yeah when you're drunk so your purpose you're getting your purpose you're getting drunk for just yeah yeah not remembering sad boring sad okay next one i saw a video of my 13 year

old vaping and i immediately had secondhand embarrassment for her because she thinks she's so cool and she can't even inhale that is so fucking no that is funny that is funny oh no what would you do if I saw my 13 year old learn how to inhale properly yeah but then

I don't want my 13 year old to be vaping firstly yeah so if I confront you about it it's like I'm teaching you I think it would hurt them more to say you look fucking embarrassing doing that rather than saying you're inhaling cancer into your lungs

these days all they care about is the aesthetic they're not caring about the so just say that next time if your friend is making up the whole room hot boxing you're embarrassing doing that your gums bleeding nothing you look embarrassing but that's when i thought the way that she delivered it was that yeah yeah yeah okay brutal brutal seven six yeah yeah six for me do you want to go from that one okay so i have a severe dental phobia

my husband has to take the kids to the dentist because i just cannot be in the building i brush and floss to try and minimize the need but then this happened about a decade ago i bit into something crunchy and a tooth snapped in half it didn't't cause any pain, so I left it. I brushed as usual, flossed as usual, but I found that I had a really bad taste in my mouth. Oh my gosh. I bought an electric floss thing that uses water and tried that. Foul-smelling food fell out.

I was mortified, but I'd found the solution and carried on with my usual routine. Cut to a decade later it's night time i brush my teeth floss my teeth and use the electric flosser i do a quick visual check to make sure the hole is clear when i see something i grab some plastic tweezers That I have And I start to dig around No I think I have it So I pull it out It was hair A disgusting discoloured hair

Wrapped in my tooth With clumps of food stuck to it I am so mortified That I just stare at it in horror I have no idea how this happened And I hate myself Oh my god it still goes on What? The next day This is a diary I just stare at it in horror. I have no idea how this happened and I hate myself. Oh my God, it still goes on.

What? The next day. This is a diary entry. The next day, I called the dentist and made an appointment. I'm having the tooth extracted in a week and I can't wait. Oh my God.

That was the coolest story ever. So basically, hold on. The hair that's inside. They just had a hairy tooth bedded in their gum. Yeah, but where did you, where did. Pubes probably. That's what I was. Be real, be real.

That's what I was thinking. Like, what the hell? Yeah. Ew. That's disgusting. And I hate when things are in my teeth. So imagine you're pulling that out. Ugh.

Ugh. Disgusting. Yeah. Just rip the whole mouth out. Throw the whole thing away. Honestly's disgusting stay in there molding okay i don't want to think about that thank you thank you so i don't want to puke in my gum so i'll say nine yeah i want to say nine as well i don't want that in there.

This is the part of the episode where you spill the tea and we try not to. Period. I'm scared because I don't want tea to spill today. Fuck off. What? Sorry, sorry. Tick, tick. All right, let's go.

Okay. Ready? Okay. My favourite bits. Ready? Okay. My favourite bits. Are we ready?

Mm-hmm. I was once working as a sale representative door-knocking on Australia for a company I shall not name. One day, I was in this really rich neighbourhood and I desperately needed to shit. Normally, I would knock on people's doors and use their toilets, but this particular day, everyone was being hostile or not answering so i had no choice but to shit in someone's garden so that's what i did i fully climbed over someone's fence crawled into their

garden and took a dump in one of their decent looking bushes use all my tissues what can i say in desperate times, desperate measures. That's you, isn't it? Is that you? I remember you telling me you had that job in Australia. No way! I knew it. I listened to the details. That's mental.

Okay, next one. I moved to another state right after high school on my own without any family and i wasn't in college loneliness got the better of me and i wound up hooking up with a girl i wasn't that attracted to we were going at it for a while and at a certain point i realized i was never going to finish and the only thing that was keeping me hard at this point was that i had to pee really bad i didn't want to hurt her feelings and i was young and inexperienced so i wasn't sure exactly what a girl could and couldn't feel down there so i came up with a brilliant plan i faked an orgasm and let out a little pee inside her to sell it i've spent the last 20 years feeling like a gross idiot every time I think about it. Are you done? We're fighting.

You peed in me. That's disgusting. I do know the difference also. Okay. No at all. No that's the end. It would have been like a smooth stream. Yeah and it would have been like A smooth stream If you

Yeah and it would have been warm Fuck That's repulsive No how dare you We're fighting We're fighting You deposited your piss in my Can you imagine

Piss Piss in the piss Piss puss Yuck Piss puss Yuck Thanks for watching if you have any

funny stories for us to react to please do send them to t at four at junglecreations.com and catch us next week for another episode bye

ciao perfect Bye.