Tea at Four - Ep 18: Childhood Memories Unlocked: The Nostalgia Episode

Episode Date: April 21, 2023

Hi, and welcome to Tea at Four! A podcast series by Four Nine, where Lauren and Christie talk about all things that should have stayed in the group chat- your icks, picks and hot takes. In todays episode Lauren and Christie are getting nostalgic, taking about their fondest memories from childhood. We're taking you on a trip down memory lane, discussing all of the things you might have forgotten about, from Bebo to the Argos catalogue and everything in between.

and we banged in the hot tub we're more worried about being factually correct about the shape of his penis hi welcome back to t4 i'm lauren i'm christy and this is the podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in the group chat this episode we're talking about all things nostalgia we love it that is the place where i feel safe and happy and less depressed less depressed i guess yeah it's um but then again no sometimes it does kind of make me it reminds me of my age oh as well yeah so it's just like oh my god 100 the thing about nostalgia is like i feel that deep intense sadness at the same time like i'm never gonna be eight years old again getting ready for school on a summer's day put my summer dress on the birds are chirping yeah anytime i'm hearing that is that an

afters as an adult can i say that can i say that speaking of back then those good times why do you think it is that we're so attached with the past like why do we dwell on it because the future is so bleak and the present is so depressing yeah like the whole idea of like the cost of living crisis just everything is so heavy yeah post-pandemic life of course we're going to focus on a time where one it was simpler yeah two we were kids so we were very naive weren't really aware of what was going around us recession don't know her but like i think we definitely it's easier to focus on like the nice things back then so basically saw this article the other day saying that the reason why we focus on nostalgia so much is because the world right now is a mess period i totally agree and dare we say when we're looking back at the nostalgia the world probably was a mess then but all my little head was thinking about was like making bibo skins we didn't have access to

the world like as much as what we do now which is mad like every everywhere you go is like it's in everything's in your face whereas back then it's like let me dive into my space for a bit let me dive into people a bit bibo friends oh into Bebo a bit. Bebo threads. Oh, my Bebo top 12. Yeah. I had no boys in there. Very sad. Did you not? No.

Oh, okay. Then again, yeah, I didn't have any boys. And your other half. What's the other half? What? You had to choose another half? No, I didn't choose. I wasn't inside, inside deep with Bebo like that.

What? No, I only used it for like just the stories. There were some very interesting stories on Bebo. What do do you mean on people's notes when they'd write yeah but they'll write like very did you ever hear of like keisha the skit and stuff like that i've heard about this on the receipts podcast yeah it sounded lit i'm sad i was not involved in that keisha the skit i saw that on b-boy what was it about it was like a girl and she was just a whore she was just a hoe my queen she was just a hoe and she was just a whore. She was just a hoe. My queen. She was just a hoe and she was living her best life

and it's just the terminology, the slang that they use. Bebo for me was basically my library. So instead of going to the library and reading books, I was reading Bebo stories. Oh my God.

Yeah. Love it. Well, from one woman in STEM to another, I would actually sit there doing coding, making Bebo skins for people. Oh my days. Like there was a local chav that I really wanted to get in with. Yeah. to another i would actually sit there doing coding making b-boat skins for people oh my

there was a local chav that i really wanted to get in with yeah be really cool too yeah so i was like let me make you don't need to yeah look you up there up at night like oh my day hot mouth mom can't even pay on the wi-fi bill but i am give me a minute um so I was doing B-Basic and I was also really obsessed with flash boxes oh my days um and I remember me and my friend specifically we used to cry to this flash box which was a sped up version of I want to grow old with you by Westlife to a montage of Mary Kate and Ashley and we'd sit in our computer room imagining what it would be like to be a twin and cry I want to go out with you I'm a bad lion in your arms oh me you definitely had fun back then didn't you I knew I'd have a good time like it's so funny because like you

talking about Bebo, Flashbox, there there was myspace there was what else pixel pixel again codes we're fucking smart i thought we were coding before the coding became the code we were making apps we were we were the people then we were the what we were the people then what was your bibo song did you have a song that played when people came on what is yours oh i don't not for bibo but foro it was um oh no it's tumblr tumblr the song playing when you were no and pixo as well was it yeah i think you could do a myspace bibo tumblr like everyone had a song when you came onto their profile mouths i can make your bed rap bells and broken no bitch i can make your bed oh my god yeah my bibo name was you can't have me underscore x. Wow. Like I'm fucking virgin.

Virgin. Not even looked a boy in the eye. Underscore x. And you can't have me two u's and two e's. Wait how did you spell you can't have me? That's what. Exactly. Y-O-U-U-C-A-N-T-T-H-A-V-E-E.

And let me guess it. M-E-E. What was our obsession with like adding extra letters and like writing with a capital letter? We looked illiterate as fuck. No, if I was to look back at my old like Facebook posts or like, oh, I don't think Pixar and Myspace still exists. Do they still exist? Can you still go on them?

I'm not too sure. I think if you guys wanna search L.Jules, that was me, Lady Jules. That was my space name. That's quite an age name. Let's say auntie. L. Me and my lady Jules.

L.Jules. I was gonna be like baby Lauren, baby Lolly. And she's there with her like. It felt quite sophisticated. I had a little glitter had a little glitter and like diamonds on the on my face on my space page i'm not gonna lie to you oh my god yeah we used to be obsessed with them like those like sparkly gifts of dolls oh yes what's that okay. Do you know Winnie the Pooh? Yeah, I know him. You know Tigger from Winnie the Pooh? Yeah. I used to have, like, my background was Tigger, like, moving,

but he was glittery and sparkling. And that was on my, like, my About Me page. Right, that's exactly what Enid Blyton, who wrote it? Who writes Winnie the Pooh? Who goes there? Eeyore? No, Eeyore is the character. Eeyore wrote Winnie the Pooh Eeyore hasn't got hands babe

no he doesn't but it's just so funny how like back then even if you're like I think we were there's so many little niches like why

we were absolutely old enough to be like playing with Tigger Gifts but there he was sparkling shining as if I was

that's so weird four years old that is so weird so weird it's quite um immature but we were quite young but then again i feel like we grew up slow slower if that makes sense does that make sense slower we grew up slower whereas nowadays i feel like the generation listen fast track quick quick yeah do you know what i mean self-checkout so it's like i remember i still had like a winnie the pooh tingle pencil case in year 11 i'm not gonna lie to you guys christy i had a cabin bed up until i was 17 i've been in a relationship for two years and i wouldn't let him come around my room i had a fucking bunk bed with a desk underneath i was like mom please but nowadays

i go on tiktok i see these families buying they graduate from their cot to having a double bed listen i had to wait until i maybe even grow maybe even king size queen king size can you imagine what the fuck the freedom i begged and i begged and i begged to have a bunk bed and i did love it when i first got it yeah but that wears off christy it does and you get you get my boyfriend yeah even friends come around and i friends come around and it's just like where am i gonna sleep so we've got a top and tail whilst we're one centimeter from the ceiling please but what my days i just find it super super funny yeah i love it super cool everything

nostalgic and like argos when you'd be designing your new bedroom I'm fucking sitting through a pencil behind my ear that you know on the floor on a Sunday that was our mood board

so we were doing mood boards before the mood board Pinterest who? thank you Argos catalogue what else was there? no definitely

Argos catalogue Next catalogue we used to get my clothes from Next no no no no no this is serious nostalgia little woods do you remember little woods i think that still exists no it doesn't oh like very

the magazine bougie i was in a little woods girl what the little woods magazine yo so you're telling me you're a tory i'm not but that magazine yeah was it lit it lit? It was so lit. It had like fashion. It had like gadgets. No, no. Little Woods was my Pinterest. Was it?

Yeah. I could just spend like a Sunday looking through the Tesco magazine. Nowadays. No, if they was to like, if my niece or nephews was to see me sitting down watching or reading a Tesco magazine, like what's wrong with this girl? Yeah. Now what's wrong with peak entertainment? Literally what's wrong peak entertainment literally keep me insane for hours yeah wow what happened to us but it's

funny because like we had such a limited access to like what was out there in the world which made it nice and it's quite humbling and you're not always wondering like oh what's this child got yeah like we just had the argus catalog yeah nowadays kids are doing their fucking eight million pound toy hauls and getting paid bare by youtube yeah i wouldn't like to be a kid nowadays no i'd rather have that nostalgic year and i feel like i love the way our parents had kind of more control not like forceful control but just controlling where it's like okay make sure you have to go outside and play come in have time to do your homework have time to play on the internet you know you've got 10 minutes on the computer do your worst and then taking it off i like i like that

and i feel like maybe there are some parents out there that do have control like that but not to the extent because i feel like in schools as well yeah they kind of push you to like yeah make sure you're searching this for your homework go and look at this no one's going to the bleeding library poor librarians i remember when i didn't even have a computer and i had to do a presentation on thailand so i went down to the local travel agents took out pictures of a uh like a travel agent yeah and i was learning all my information from that i fucking stone age that bring back the yellow pages bring it back um does it exist yeah um i saw a tiktok the other day and i love it you know those tiktoks that are like oh remember this feeling or this smell

or whatever and it was like you know when you go out and play with your friends and then you maybe run back into the house to like get a drink or something or like a toy and then your mum would be like well you're not going back out now and then you'd be like oh you fucking bitch why didn't you and she locks the door

like as soon as you come back home for let's say for a drink or like use the bathroom then the door gets locked and you're like oh honestly my friends are just still playing

I want to kill my mum no one's killing anybody's mum we love our mum no we only kill dogs on this show did you guys ever use ask fm oh my god yeah find out things about friends or people you like i'm not gonna lie i was that person that used to send anonymous to yourself to myself and um yeah just to make me seem a bit interesting, you know?

Yeah. Because I think the questions that I want to get asked, no one's asking me. Me, Lauren, didn't have many friends' questions about me. Ask FM. Or like, you know, it just shakes it up a bit being like, I thought you looked pretty today. No one did. Everyone. Ooh, let me boost myself up.

Why not? I'm just adding some drama. Exactly. The drama up why not adding some drama exactly the drama why not is that that was our i guess our age of like imagination shit with myself yeah yeah yeah really or someone some people used to write like bad things about themselves and then everyone would be coming like no babe you don't have a big nose oh my days you're skinny as hell imagination ship started from bad we're a bit deluded but it's fine no but it was all right i feel like it it was a way for you to kind of like confidently say what's on your mind to yourself well to yourself or to anybody that you wanted to ask it to do you get it because i want to know i want to know your name your name

way and be anonymous you're not to notice if I ask you anything. I feel like one time I did get these like anonymous, like love, love admittances from someone being like, oh, I really fancy you. And in my head, I'm building up like, who is this person? I have no idea, no idea. But when that person showed their face,

I wish I could turn back time catfish i wish i'd never answered them just a small boy in the year below oh but big up you know the confidence to at least yeah i don't know but like on like how would you spend your friday nights when you're younger okay go on right so friday nights come back home from school How would you spend your Friday nights When you're younger Okay Go on Right so Friday nights Come back home from school And go out for a bit

So we'll play like outside For like a good like Ten minutes Then you come in Play outside for ten minutes Okay maybe more than ten minutes Come on Yeah more than ten minutes

Go all evening Thirty minutes an hour Or whatever Then I'll come home Obviously Simpsons on obviously watch a bit of simpsons then jump on msn jump at msn yeah you're not watching holly oaks yeah but holly oaks it was no back in the day it was fresh prince of bel-air uh the simpsons denny stenders

yeah don't forget neighbors i love the neighbors yeah so it was that and then it will have social time with my siblings yeah and then probably be like read a book i used to read a lot remember all that the disney disney books did you ever get those um what like disney books the dvds no books um no i just used to read marley cyrus's autobiography over and over and over no but i used to get disney books and i used to maybe because i didn't speak english oh i used to get disney yeah they were quite fun um yeah fair enough so my friends were my friends were very fun i'll see that's the thing as well when i look back when i think back to nostalgia is very based around i guess the beginnings of tech that whole thing of like logging onto a computer a late night or like

for example i didn't have internet so i'd go over to my friend's house over the road yeah sell my little msn lolly underscore rocks 56 at hotmail.com um and i do that on her computer yeah but then like you know you have certain smells i have a certain smell that when i smell it it attributes to her house and it's like the smell of her family cooking dinner and playing sims in the computer room i think in terms of smells tesco muffins right that reminded me of the time when you'd go to my cousin's house and we hear like the dial-up of like trying to connect to the internet and we're sitting around like the table waiting

like where's the muffins coming in the muffins were there like every time i had muffins it reminded me of my cousin's house yeah around the table waiting who's gonna go first on the computer yeah well talking of food then mine would be four gluten-free biscuits which were digestives well obviously i just i've just been introduced to my fucking gluten intolerance at that time and i'd be playing on this learning land cd cd rom and i my mum would give me four digestive biscuits and then i'd put them in my mouth and i'd like mix it with my phlegm and play learning lands so that's just what I think of mixing it with your yeah make it last longer no that's crazy I can't think of any other thing that's crazy are there any films

like from your past that you know that you watch now oh so many um I used to watch i used to watch a film every single night before i went to sleep i couldn't go to the sound of silence it would kind of go on a like a roster it'd be something like the lizzie mcguire movie anything mary-kate and ashley um cheap by the dozen my cheap by the dozen one i remember that i it was on a video so like if i still hadn't fallen asleep when it got to a certain part if i can get up rewind back back to sleep or the dvds where you'd fall asleep and you'd wake up and it would be like the title menu playing over and over again i love it or like the adverts just start again playing and it's like 50 greatest love songs fucking what's his name Paul Collins Bill Collins it was Paul

from TikTok sorry Bill Collins playing in the background I love that so nostalgic every Kate and Ashley were actually the

the G's the G's them oh my god I love them where are they now um they're not well oh where would you get

your films from blockbusters do you remember blockbusters oh blockbuster yeah you still your films from blockbusters you remember blockbuster oh blockbuster yeah you still love going to blockbuster for films or like you know mum mum or dad's weird friend and i yeah i used to get handed the cds not even in like their packs it would be like in a in a floppy case and then the cover is on the sheet of paper that looks like it's been yeah it's like styrofoam with like nothing on the cd what is that i used to have like new york minute american every time i knew that a new set was coming in yeah yeah who's doing that do you like if you're an adult and like so say if you've got a kid when you're older yeah you

come to me like lauren have you got any of those, you know, Disney classics? Me, say less, say less. Me, burning a CD at night in my free time. Literally. To feed back to you, my friend's daughter. Download, I feel like it was such a need to like download the latest thing back then.

Yeah. Stuff like LimeWire. Oh, my God, LimeWire. I used to burn a lot of CDs and like cd playlists for like my friends and stuff so so so fun okay well even earlier than that i was recording stuff on cassettes from my karaoke machine my granddad who was blind may he rest in peace love you um i used to record um me singing i'm a girl not yet a woman by britney spears and um too lost in you by the sugar babes and i'd record me singing that on the karaoke machine put it on a cassette and give it to him to listen to oh headphones in world out granddaughter on oh

that's so bad i'd love to find that that That's like the, oh, before the MP3s and the iPods and our phones, there was, is it the Walkman? Oh yeah, I said, shove that in my pants

and dance. Because you, how are you supposed to hands free it? No, but it was so big. It was huge. Like how,

did it even fit in a pocket? Shit, it fit in the front of my fanny. Put it in the back of my batty. Yeah, but like how do you move your arms and stuff? You had to hold it. It didn't even fit in a front of my fanny put it in the back of my batty yeah but like how do you move your arms and stuff you had to hold it it didn't even fit in a pocket or like the the what's the the usb kind of sticks ones that only fit like 12 fucking songs on it you play you play you stop

and you repeat and you go home yeah delete all of those uploading yeah yeah those were the days and when you'd have the uh you'd have a pair of um headphones that weren't working you'd have to hold it to a certain place on your phone to get it to work yeah i feel like back then it's like obviously we didn't have access to a lot of things you kind of take things more so for instance you know like music i could recite britney spears song over and over again because that's the only track on a school trip and that's all you got literally your infrared it would recorded it okay voicemails no no voicemail no back in the day right yeah obviously we couldn't like select our own voicemail so you

yeah i'd record like a song playing on tv hi this is christie's phone oh yeah that's why i used to do to record my voice meika lollipop a bit weird not even cool i feel like kids these days yeah you kids these meddling kids you meddling kids you don't know the struggle the pain the frustration sing it we went through those phones didn't have storage bro i had to be selective with the absolute fucking bangers from the top 40 unnecessary there was an app there wasn't even apps it was functions like i would rather not have a calculator and be able to listen to now you're gone by bass hunter please the fact that you can now just listen to something go on the playlist

press the plus button what were we doing back then lauren what were we doing we were the only time i'd be able to do that is go you go on a school trip yeah someone would bluetooth me a song e.g gwen stefani sweet escape and we would be there bashing our phones together to try and get the bluetooth to work nowadays easy infrared do you remember that oh that just blew my mind a bit that was quite crazy i didn't really get it no nobody did that and i feel like there's only certain phones yeah but what was your first phone lauren um i feel like it was like a nokia brick where you had to um well first one was a flip phone but that like i basically went to town for the first time they allowed me to went to town for the first time they

allowed me to go to town for the first time i got scratched on the front so then i was just i don't want anything to do with it now but then i specifically remember a nokia brick where you top it up with credit and i'd accidentally like leave it lent on something like for example in my bag when i'd go ice skating it would click on the fucking internet symbol and drain all my top up and battery and i'd be there with no way to get home so i'd have to take kids don't know the struggle of taking the battery when it's dead out of the thing rubbing it on my bra on my head just to get my mom to pick me up just one percent please back in like the way that you guys travel around with all these portable

chargers back then we couldn't do that i think my first phone was a samsung flip phone that motorola actually hello hello moto hello moto and then it i think it was the nokia as well actually yeah is it snakes that game oh snake yeah wait but did you have a blackberry yeah i did you're so lucky did you not i really wanted my my mom said that's for businessmen i said well my friends are up till late at night playing on bbm and they're not doing business on there are they i feel like blackberry was the first phone that we all were interconnected so for instance imagine you're in the classroom right yeah english teacher we had a very strict english teacher big up her because i got an a in english period but um i can't really speak it irony but then like imagine you're in a classroom and

everybody's just pinging each other i know that is depressed in the corner with my fucking slide up gamer phone basically that was so mad like we're in the same room we're all sitting everywhere and we can communicate like that like right now kids these days they won't understand that kind of oh my gosh that shock that fascination because they've just had it slammed in their face but for us it was like shit it was a sense of community don't say it was bb i found this article from like 2008 and it said that's why we call blackberries crackberries. These new technologies have addictive elements. You have to get your kids to use them positively

and keep them away from dangerous elements or it might damage their lives. But was blackberry really dangerous? Because all you have is just your friends on them. No, BBM gave a sense of like having an instant communication that wasn't on MSN connected to a computer. Whereas with texting, it's very old-fashioned yeah yeah yeah that idea of logging on see who's online i didn't get to experience that i literally see you could literally see who's online with the green symbols we had emojis we had let's see who's paying what on their bbm statuses you'd have like broad broadcast yeah add my girl here's her pin

yeah i do get in a way it was addicted because i think there's certain times where my parents would threaten me like yeah confiscating your blackberry i'm like thinking how am i gonna communicate and i'll jump back on facebook like guys my blackberry's been taken away from me i'm disconnected but pin me like message me here yeah so um in that sense it's like a new it was like an introduction of like being addicted to like things and that's the start of the end tiktok we're all obsessed with tiktok but everything was so laggy the patience we had to have for these pieces of technology mental but i do feel like we had it easy whereas um for us it's like we're learning whilst the technology was actually building up and trying to develop it as well whereas now it's like you're born into it you're born into it you're born with a fucking

ipad in your literally in your hands yeah even like newborns before they're even out of the belly they're listening to like yeah radiation around them so it was just like yeah wow so my theory with the whole kids nowadays being obsessed with obsessed with vintage is that like micro trends are bigger and more accessible than ever people want to be more unique or have that thing that isn't nobody else has so that would be like a vintage ralph lauren from vintage rather than something that's being made on absolute or stealing your mom's vivian westwood bag or stealing your mom's vivian westwood but it's that whole idea that i think even when people when you think about like haircuts nowadays people want like the rachel green yeah 90s like 90s claw clip hairstyles

and things like that i think everything was just like so much more cuter and sleeker i can't really think of much modern stuff now that i look at and i think i i want that and i do feel like it's like in a way of um people like honoring those kind of vintage looks or like honoring like vintage like items and stuff like i think there was a time i don't know whether there's a time but i'm pretty sure back in the day there weren't a lot of vintage stores now you can go to places like brick lane there's vintage stores everywhere when you travel as well there's like uh i want to go to like not just the main bits but let's see flea markets and stuff exactly like you want to get an essence of like the past of what was fashion what was it back then yeah and i don't i like it i don't mind i think it's

quite fun that we're touching back into like yeah interesting but what i don't like about it is when people only do it for the sake of trying to be unique or trying to bring up or bring back another trend and make it something bigger than obviously it's something big but then they're trying to over hype it and it loses its value yeah for me personally that's how i i basically think do you think it's toxic how much we are rejecting like the present and bringing out new things and maybe looking forward to the future then how obsessed we are with like looking back nostalgia um even stuff like instead of you using the newest cameras or appreciating them

we're taking a photo and editing it to look like it's taken on a disposable or on a camcorder like why are we so obsessed with making things look like back in time i don't know because the world's a mess like the article said yeah and also i feel like it's good to have a bit of escapism but i feel like where we don't do it properly is that we've become hoarders we've become hoarders yeah and i say that because it's like you see an abundance of all of a sudden y2k trends everywhere all on your feed and now you're thinking oh maybe i need to jump on that then y2k is out then it's something else i feel like a lot of us are like some people do kind of enjoy the essence of escaping the present world because the present world is crazy yeah but also i do feel like it

we need to have a nice little balance because it's good to look back but we actually need to start looking forward 100 what is to come chat gptT, clothes. Basically. What the fuck? What is going on? AI, all that palaver, new tech. What I don't get, you know in Clueless, where she's got that thing where she's got a wardrobe and she can pick what she wants through that. Oh my goodness. Why isn't that a real thing yet?

But it is. No, it is. If you go to Zara, self-checkout, it is. Right. No, it is. I'm talking about my own house, babe. Yeah, but okay. Okay.

When you're rich, which is gonna be very very soon thank you thank you thank you in your house yeah period okay yeah what i've started seeing people doing nowadays though is they'll take a photo of themselves in their outfit and then they can like oh yeah they can just like basically isolate that image of them in that outfit and copy it into their notes and then they have like a whole bank of just all these different outfits yeah mad i think that's crazy it's smart yeah it's but it's also just everything's becoming less human isn't it yeah but i remember like i think there was something on tiktok where it's a tiktok or like a new um lipstick brand where basically you can try on different type of shades on your lips just

by looking at your camera and it kind of like merges into your it's it's crazy it's crazy but i'm here for it yeah it's smart i love the past love the present love the future love the past dealing with the present and somehow looking forward to the future yeah yeah that's me. Sure. Yeah. This is the part of our podcast where we react to some brutal confessions from the World Wide Web. Brutal. Okay. So, Christy. Yes, Lauren.

On a date with a hot lass. Went really well until she told me she has an influential Twitter account. Okay. She told me her handle. I opened app, searched, and it showed that I had blocked her. I often block obnoxious accounts. She ended the date immediately after. I mean, what was she tweeting?

Why could you possibly be saying that's that? Because for somebody to block you. An influential Twitter account. So she was an influencer? Oh, no. Oh, maybe. that's that because for somebody to block you an influential twitter account or like like so she was an influencer oh no oh maybe she's probably got the blue tick so people are actually reading and taking in your tweets so what are you tweeting my dear that made you be blocked i mean yeah but then for you not to notice the person. Yeah, you're stupid. Yeah. I feel like it's only a matter of time with things like this until they start saying the things they tweet out loud.

So maybe it's for the best that it was just. I think, yeah, it was meant to be. Yeah. So brutal meat, I'll only give you a three. Not that brutal. My husband recently uploaded a video. I'm laughing, you're making that bigger. So I'm fucking blind. No no i'm just illiterate my husband recently uploaded a video to youtube of him complaining about the service he's received at our local waitrose he plays all

eight minutes of it on our smart tv whenever he's had a few drinks i will never have sex with this man again how many is he trying to get views? I mean, I get if he was like a SoundCloud rapper, but a waitrose, so yeah, waitrose, what you did to me was so bad,

and I wanna tell you that I'm so sad. That's an it. Waitrose. Why? No, but my thing is, why did you let him sit down there, record that video,

upload it on YouTube? Yeah. Because now it's there for life, and I'm guessing's not going to delete that because digital footprint do you know what i mean have rachel's even commented on the thing have they seen what he's probably not eight views all him do you know i mean why don't you send an email or go into the store and let them know that because rachel's online we're thinking what what rachel's are you targeting moving mad get the badge numbers it's not a monologue like come on brutal but then wait

she doesn't want to have sex with him ever again never want to yeah I wouldn't it's one thing to upload it but another thing

to like keep showing everyone on smart tv in that sense then and then you could actually yeah on a smart

yeah forget it could even be on his phone And he just kind of like Swipes it to the TV And it plays Oh it's butters That's icky

Yuck I won't call it brutal But it's just very icky Ick meter Ick meter 10 Yep period Okay do you want to read the next one It's quite long

Oh god You've got your glasses I can see Just close to my eyes Lauren My siblings and I Were raised by a single dad Who never dated anyone

And always put his children first Nice One of my brothers Ended up disown a single dad who never dated anyone and always put his children first one of my brothers ended up disowning my dad after catching him in bed with his girlfriend who later left her twins with the dad our dad tried to apologize and reach out but my brother ignored him our dad recently hosted a party for the twins and bad mouth my brother to family members yeah who then started talking negatively about him this one's a serious family showdown i defended my brother by exposing that my dad had cheated with his girlfriend and gotten her pregnant my dad is angry at me saying this was a family matter and i should have kept my mouth shut but hold on were you not thank you hold let me land my wife says i did the right thing but my sister should have kept my mouth shut

what you read the same line my wife says i did the right thing but my sister is on my dad's side am i the arsehole for exposing my dad's dark secret well if he was a single dad why are you getting involved in his business of his relationships anyway because the single dad slept with the the son's girlfriend what did you not learn i need it in right i need to subtitle what's saying ended up disowning my dad after catching him in bed with his girlfriend who later left her twins with the dad not the twins exactly another dad hosted a party for the twins i said twins what was bad mouthing the brother at the family you know sounds like an episode of east end then she

the daughter the daughter of the dad exposed the dad for cheating with the girlfriend to the family so everything everything is just being laid out spilled on the table seven billion people in the world but you have to sleep with your son's girlfriend am i the arsehole for exposing my dad's dark secret no say it with your chest say it again yeah you want to embarrass me i embarrass you death to daddy daddy. There you go. Brutal meter. What are we voting? Ten.

Ten, yeah. I'm down for that. Sleep with the family. I don't think she's an arsehole for exposing the dad. No. You know, emotions. Blame it on the alcohol, if anything. 100%.

Period. Already the first line is making me sick. Oh, yummy. Sometimes I piss into my open dishwasher all over the dirty plates and cutlery it's a much wider target than the toilet and almost impossible to miss i figure the wash cycle more than clears any traces of urine anyway i've not told my family that i do this what you pig shit sick i'm disgusted on the cutlery so you're that's what you're doing your little child just throwing your piss about what do you mean the child does no i said your little child throwing

your piss about oh my god the dishwasher's open and you're just pissing because it's a bigger target than the toilet what's wrong with you go in the garden i would rather that or dare say the toilet i would rather that how about that i've not told my family that i do this but are you sure that the dishwasher actually it does but that's disgusting you are not sticking up for this man i'm not i'm not or is it a girl it's a man who's just going are you squatting into the dishwasher it's impossible oh my my God. That's mental. That must be a fetish. That's just not.

And then he uses the same cutlery that he's pissed on to eat. Disgusting. He's mad. Feral. Brutal meter. 10. 10. Yep.

Pissy dinner. Piss cutlery. Piss. Pissy, pissy boy. Last one. Piss washer. Funny. Funny. Pissy. Pissy. Pissy. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. piss pissy pissy boy last one piss washer funny funny what am i laughing again piss washer piss washer like dishwasher

i'm here all week yeah i heard that sorry i was surprised by this last one all right last one i live with three of my mates at uni and we all get along fine except for one guy who does this utterly disgusting thing my mate thinks it's cool my mate thinks it's funny or cool to pin his used condoms on a bulletin board to show off at all times he's fucked i've asked him a million times to take it down or put it in his own room but he insists on leaving it up there in the main living area for everyone to see in his defense he washes the no in his defense he washes the condoms condoms cleans and dries them there are six condoms in i can't say condoms what's good there are six condoms in total on the board it's fucking gross and disgusting to leave up for everyone to see yesterday a girl i've been

talking to asked to come and study with me at my place and watch a movie afterwards i made sure i hid the bulletin board later that night she came over the fucking bulletin board was back on the wall and she couldn't believe her eyes she ended up leaving i was so mad i smashed the board i feel bad for reacting like that but i was angry and the board had to go am i the asshole no absolutely not exactly he so he's going to the effort of washing them out and sticking them back on the board when he's busting up He goes into the bathroom Clears it up Cleans it up Put a bit of dishwasher

That's fucking weird That is scary That's Jeffrey Dahmer stuff Isn't it? That is scary That's like And then you pin it No one's impressed

That's too embarrassing Yeah I don't know why I didn't break the board sooner Because what is he going to do? I threw away your condom board What are you going to do about it? Yeah it's embarrassing Yeah what are you going to do about it? Do with it yeah i don't want to see semen

i never want to see semen no brutal meter fucking throw the whole man away why are you doing that yeah can we break the brutal me and just put above and beyond any rating because that's disgusting yeah revolting yeah don't do that and that was brutal Break the brutal meat and just put it above and beyond any rating because that's disgusting. Yeah. Revolting. Yeah. Don't do that. And that was brutal.

So, Lauren, I made you a sweet cup of tea because we're about to play a game called Spill the Tea where you spill the tea and we try not to. Let's go. I have a confession to make. My boyfriend gives me the ick every time he eats roast potatoes I know it sounds crazy but hear me out every time we eat roast potatoes with dinner he can't eat them without he can't eat them without going

ooh hot hot hot ow whilst blowing air out of his mouth and then he blows on them it's just so cringeworthy I mean why can't he just wait for them to cool down like a normal person it's like he's trying to be tough or something and it just makes him look like a big baby i've tried to talk to him about it but he just laughs it off and says it's part of the roast potato experience maybe he's hungry bless his heart let him eat. That's hot. I mean, just relax. Get over it.

Yeah, get over it. Okay. No, I'm not that deep. I'm sure you fucking do stuff that's cringe when you eat. Yeah. Okay. I never thought that admitting my... I never thought that admitting my love for the telly

tubbies to my boyfriend would lead to this it all started as a casual conversation about childhood shows and i mentioned how i used to watch telly tubbies religiously the next thing i know my boyfriend is referring to his penis as tinky winky every time we're intimate at first i found it funny and kind of endearing it was like our own little inside joke but now it's getting a little weird i've tried talking to him about it but he just laughs it off and says it's harmless fun but it's starting to bother me more and more and i don't know how to make him stop i don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel embarrassed but i also don't want to continue living in a world where his penis is referred to as a Teletubby character.

That's fucking rank. How dare you? What's the shape on his head as well, Tinky Winky? Straight. Triangle. No, no, no, triangle. He should be dipsy. Lala's the straight one, right? Fucking Lala, get it.

That's it. Lala's the straight one? No. He's not. No. We're more worried About being factually correct About the shape of his penis

Tell it to Tinky Tinky Winky No Oh That's Chachi PT Yeah Yeah it was Tinky Winky

Tinky up my winky The triangle one Who's the straight one Dipsy innit I think so Who's that Dipsy There actually was a rumour That Dipsy was gay Yeah I remember that And I think so. Who's that Dipsy then? There actually was a rumour that Dipsy was gay.

Yeah, I remember that. And Milo from... Tweenies. Tweenies. Fruity. Both fruity. Everyone fancied Milo. No, I fancied Jake.

Jake was a cutie. What? It was their hair for me. He's giving me... That was the young version, carto version of Max Branning. What? Jake was...

I'm not going gonna lie to you Jake If you see this baby He was the biggest baby Of them all Yeah but I loved him Oh Baby I like me a soft boy

Nice guys Don't finish love Was his skin orange No he was tanned It was Lala that was No Layla Lala

Lala No Fizz Fizz and Bella big batty Bella big batty Bella and Fizz stuck up cow

no Fizz was so stuck up yeah but do you not fancy like like um Judy and Max Max Max and Lisa Dilf grandad

no I love when they let us go out the house what the dog no no doodles let's move on Max, Max, Alisa, Dilf, granddad. No. I love when they let us go out the house. The dog. No. No. Doodles.

Let's move on. One of my college girlfriends had massive wabos and I spent most of my time trying to get her in a bikini. We went. Good. We went hot tubbing in an apartment complex after hours and we banged in the hot tub i think in this context wabos means boobs yeah i fucking guessed but who calls them that unless you're a tweenie. I'm crying.

Oh my god. Nice. Massive wabos. How big are your wabos? Can you imagine? How big are your wabos? It was so hot, literally. We invited our friends the next time to hang out and we ended up doing it under the bubbles again she ended up getting genital warts a few weeks later and blamed it on me

i knew i didn't have it and thought she was lying to put the blame on me instead the relationship ended not long after and i always wondered if it was a possibility that she contracted it from that dirty hot tub cool what did the boobs have to do with being... Well, he said she had massive wabos, so he wanted to get her in a bikini. Oh! A dirty man. My wife's boss invited us over for dinner.

She served us some steaks, but mine was severely undercooked. I sat there fidgeting with my knife and fork. I really didn't want to eat it. Just then, our hostess went to the kitchen as i looked across the dining room table at the open window of this third story apartment i knew i had to act fast so i grabbed the steak with my hand gently shook off the juice and executed a perfect throw right through the center of the open window the window wasn't open the steak left a bloody mess on the cleanest window i've ever seen my wife turned jaw dropped and stared in utter shock my wife's boss heard the thud came quickly and took in the

scene the steak sitting on the windowsill the blood trail my empty plate the best i could manage to say was i i'm so sorry i'm such a klutz i was just cutting it and it slipped i'm so sorry i went to grab it and clean the window and continued eating. You violated. That's funny. But then how could you not? No, no, the window's not open. You're fucking dumb.

Do you know what I mean? What? I swear as well you can eat steak when it's like still from the cow. Yeah, I see a girl on TikTok where she eats it raw in the car. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not raw in the car. That's scary.

Isn't it like how people have sushi sometimes? Yeah, sushi, sushi. We'll cover it up. Sushi is all... Okay, next one. I am a normal man, average in every way. Yet I always make dogs aroused. I do nothing untoward, but within seconds out comes their lipstick and I'm proudly apologising.

Proudly? I don't know why. What do you mean? Sorry, it was, I'm profoundly apologising. Thank you for being here today. thank you for being here today apologizing to the owner as their dog is gripped to my leg going like the clappers not proudly i always fuck it up so now that's that i'm a normal man excited average man okay i know this is going to sound really weird but hear me out my girlfriend has

this thing where she meows like a cat during sex it's not just a little meow either it's a full-on prolonged meowing session it's like she's trying to communicate something to me, but I have no idea what it is. It's so distracting that I can't even concentrate on what we're doing. I've tried asking her about it, but she just shrugged it off and said it was a habit she picked up as a kid. What? I don't know if I believe that, though.

It seems like something that's just too strange to be true. I really care about her and our relationship, but I don't know if I can handle this meowing thing anymore. It's starting to make me feel uncomfortable and a little bit embarrassed. I don't know how to tell her that this is something I'm not okay with. That's that as a kid. That's concerning. Yes, because raised eyebrows.

Bombastic side eye. Bombastic side eye.astic side eye what's happening there that's um so is it like a meow or a or a it could be that that's fucking annoying shut up Shut up. I'm imagining long meows. Have you seen that video of that cat that meows like a scouser? Yeah. Shut up. No, I'd actually cover your mouth at this point. Forget it. Yeah.

Put a dummy in it, man. Dummy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. What a weirdo. Uh.

Purr. Did you call me a big purr? Thank you for listening and watching to this episode of tea at four if you've got any funny stories for us to react to in notes

with a tea make sure to send them to tea at four at jungle creations.com and we'll see you again next week bye