Tea at Four - Ep 19: UK vs The USA: Who Is The Best?

Episode Date: April 28, 2023

Hi, and welcome to Tea at Four! A podcast series by Four Nine, where Lauren and Christie talk about all things that should have stayed in the group chat- your icks, picks and hot takes. In today's episode, Lauren and Christie delve into the American dream whilst also discussing what life is like living in the UK. They try American sweets, or should we say, candy and try to guess what American slang terms mean. But the real question is, does the UK or the USA come out on top?

Shut up! Oh my god, yes, yes, yes. What the hell are you guys doing? Have you seen it? What are you giving me right here? I can't believe this is in my hand right now. You know people pay 25 fucking British pounds to buy these on TikTok shop? I'm not having that.

Hi, welcome back to Teat 4. I'm Christy. And I'm Lauren. And this is the podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in a group chat. Alexa, play Beyonce, America has a problem. No, that's not a Beyonce song. It's Alexa, play... What's her name?

Estelle, American boy. Alexa, play... I'm done. I'm out. Well, I'm the winner. I'm finished. Drink. So I win the trip to America. Okay.

That's a new T4 prize competition section is there any other words any other names of america yeah any other song names hey there america what's it like in new york oh this california oh fuck off shut up shut up okay right so christy we've got to talk about something this little girl was going on her travels she is leaving me okay okay um but i'll make so excited for you yeah relax so relax relax relax i'm actually so excited i'm buzzing go into the big apple that's what they call it right that's new york not going there specifically yeah but it's part of the lands of the free what was it the american dream the american dream yes um did you learn everything you knew about america via um obviously culture but ultimately in english literature of my cement and the great gatsby

where they talk about the american dream the great depression the green light the great gatsby where they talk about the american dream the great depression the green light the great depression is the uk no babe oh 1920 oh but is that is that america or the uk i think everywhere is everywhere everyone was sad it was after the war okay everybody was sad yeah history lesson makes sense right if we're going to slight tangent um so why america what's going on i used to have a specific obsession with america whether that be from as i said through the films through my girls mary kate and ashley through disney channel i was eating that up for breakfast lunch and dinner i wanted to be american so bad i wanted to go to American high school. I even applied to go to a university in America for a semester. Too fucking expensive though.

I don't know, I've always had this infatuation with it. But happy to go on a holiday there. This idea that I had when I was younger that I would end up living there, I think that dream has dissipated now. I feel like I just used to view it this like dreamy place that was like you know Hollywood Hollywood stars the palm trees the wide roads the people the the possibilities are endless everything just seems so much more exciting and vibrant there but now dare I say it not somewhere I'd like to live in the future probably that is so crazy

because i know a lot of people can relate like a lot of people have had that you know what i don't want to be in the uk i'm going to move to america when i'm older yeah i'm going to do this i'm going to live my life i'm going to be neighbors with leonardo de caprio or somebody famous you know they want what they want to yeah well no i don't i'm no as in before oh before before but now i'm probably thinking more wouldn't mind my babies for free wouldn't mind um putting my children in the school that is safe yeah um i don't know i think i think it's definitely become a lot less idealistic in the last couple of years especially for our generation i don't know i feel like for instance again when we were younger um america seemed like this big like place that you if you didn't go to america you're not going to make it

like everything happens in america whereas now it's because we're so like we know what's going on in the world and we see so much and we hear so much and there's so much access there's like tiktok reviews and stuff yeah you kind of get a sense of maybe that's it's not it yeah that's not it i would say even the film culture has kind of um changed eg when you think about american high schools it would be um east high school from high school musical nowadays euphoria yep nowadays they are fucking in the bathroom they are taking drugs in the hallways crazy they'd be crazy yeah so we've seen on tiktok this week um a lot of americans highlighting the cultural difference between okay uk and usa which is quite interesting one of the ways in particular they said the way we talk we're apparently a lot more passive-aggressive and dry and sarcastic than Americans and apparently we're

very talented at the small talk Christy we could talk about the weather until the cows come home do you know what it's actually quite crazy because I've been to Miami right and a lot of when I was there a lot of Americansicans didn't think i was from the uk really so they actually thought that i was putting on the accent um didn't sound quite friendly which i was like that's the bit i'm the most friendly yeah and um they just had yeah like you said a lot to say so um i definitely agree with the tiktoks what have you come across what have you seen um i guess people just saying about how we could talk for an hour and a half about nothing which i don't know if that's a talent or an insult i mean we can queue for an hour and a half oh we love a queue we love a queue yeah some countries just don't do that

i can't even fathom it in my head what are you even doing yeah um and also when they make a cup of tea they don't have kettles i find that so weird heating up a bowl of water in the microwave maybe that on the stone time that is scary horrible because but but why like who invented the kettle like i don't know but i'd rather my lime scaly kettle that hasn't been cleaned in 10 years Made me my tea Rather than The microwave It's just safer I guess

Did you know they actually only get Like 10 days of holiday Annual leave a year Hold up So out of 365 days 365 days I only get 10 days To yourself

To myself Wait does that include Do they celebrate bank holidays? I don't even think they celebrate Bank holidays Inica i'll have like different holidays to us but oh like labor day and the international boston tea party day whatever it's fucking called independence independence july 4th and them type of shenanigans yeah yeah them type of things so then sick pay what's going on there holiday pay i don't think you even get paid for sick like sick days off so the person that put the law down in america what was he thinking um i mean it was a founding father probably interested a man maybe this is what

this is why that there's a lot of there's many there's much more american employees in uk jobs because obviously we to be honest if i went to work in america and they told me i only got 10 days i'm leaving yeah i'm not i'm so sorry i'm not staying there i would not move to america for that reason i i you need that balance in life but then again what's their retirement age please bobby it's around 64 oh about the same then was it worth it oh about the same then was it worth it to be honest i do feel like a lot of americans quote me if i am wrong in the comments um they go through a lot more jobs than we do in the uk do you think i think so because if think think of it like this year certain jobs i'm pretty sure um let's say for instance a job is remote so you can work from home that is kind of like

vacation whatever yeah or let's say for instance another job there you're traveling to different states and stuff sure so i'm guessing because you don't want to be tied down to one thing i guess i guess you're more open to kind of 12 in and out from i do feel like the education system probably benefits them more because really what i've kind of seen when they go to like university or colleges they don't have to choose like a specific one thing to study they can do like majors and minors okay so like i i don't know i mean obviously a lot of money goes into their system so that's probably why they let them piss about there for a number of years but like um yeah one thing to consider is that the average u.s salary is higher than the average salary in the uk yeah but is the more money enough when you're not even having the

time to spend it that's the thing one thing that the difference between america and the uk has shown me and taught me is not to take things for granted yeah i have read stories of people who not being able to pay their like hospital bills like for instance let's say you see here we've got a problem with ambulances to come to get you if you're in emergency takes hours you better you're better off driving yourself there yeah in America so you've got to pay for those type of things so let's say you need a kidney replacement you've got to pay for that you've got to pay for how you get in there you'll stay in the hospital it's a lot and i can understand how stressful that could be for one person so the fact that we are even though the nhs lord helped them they're trying their best we're so grateful yeah they're trying their

best we are very very grateful and um please um whoever is the prime minister of the uk's leave them and pay them please because we need them yeah um it's just crazy that health that is so important among like forget money forget everything else a human's health yeah it's so important i personally don't feel like people should have to fork out that much money absolutely To look after themselves. Absolutely not, but it doesn't even start at the hospitals. When I was going in these chemists, they were advertising all these steroids and anxiety medication and just everything under the sun,

which come with these hundreds of side effects. It's almost like, no, I'm not even gonna, I'm not gonna stick with it. I'm not gonna say America's doing stuff. But it's almost just a system set up to get people to just hurt themselves and make more money i don't know yeah so the average prescription drug prices are 3.6 times higher than the uk 3.6 ours is like nine pound per per thing yeah and the us has the highest rate of prescription drug use in the world

with nearly 50 of the population taking at least one prescription drug oh my god i'm just trying to do the math for like if let's say for instance i had so okay good example right so i i've got friends and family members that suffer from sickle cell so you see hey going into hospital or getting a blood transfusion and stuff okay under the nhs fair enough it's fine yeah so imagine if i lived in america they lived in america yeah the amount of money you could be like you're spending just to go into the hospital then get yourself those drugs to kind of help you you're spending more money on hospital bills than your house yeah phone bills how do you how do you do it no how do you how do you honestly do it because

they even have they have health care insurance but it's with like so many loops that like they don't even like doesn't even cover everything i hear it's like a money making scheme unfortunately i've also seen rightfully so the americans commenting on um the difference between uk and us drink culture yeah oh we we love a good pub we love a bubble three pint a large glass of vinegar packet of chips not me no i don't like that. No, no, no, no. Beef rations. Rations. It's the war. So, so yeah,

they're always good. They, they really kind of highlight how bad we are at binge drinking. I guess no British person wants to be told that they overdo it, but it's probably true. Let's be real. I mean, we've got the time to do it. Oh,

they don't. sorry it's our extra holiday days beer garden please you know i mean after work finishing at 3 p.m yeah go for some work beers but um i guess that's the downfall but it's not really that's like a social aspect though that's the way we socialize 100 you know what i mean like dates in america do you think they go to get wankers like we do no but i feel like they do have some fun dates though yeah like what they're doing i'm going out to oh they're food man oh what a seafood boil oh my god let me ask it oh they eat some good food in america you know i think that's the only thing i hate about i don't hate the uk but what i like i'm very jealous of right is that certain chains that open up in the uk

that are of american brands they don't taste the same don't they no and it's so upsetting do they have like hygiene standards i'm sure well i mean lauren are you not gonna eat somewhere where the hygiene standards are you like way below like i might get tricked i might be on the way to like route 66 and stop off in area 55 and i'm pretty sure eating an alien shack and then i'll get abducted up into the sky so i feel like for me there's like so many things that i love about america same but there's this one little thing that kind of puts me like very uneasy is just the gun culture there i don't get me wrong there there is gun culture in the uk for sure but it's not in your face yeah and for instance with the recent like school shootings and stuff um i think i read an article the other day there was more

school shootings than there are weeks in the year yeah and that for me is quite concerning because it's like to be honest everywhere you go you're not safe right yeah when it comes to like children yeah i can't imagine myself in a school going to school yeah and hearing gunshots yeah i completely agree that is such an alien concept to know that i feel like it's the whole thing like a general like moral standpoint like if someone does something once it's a mistake but if you're doing it over and over again that's intentional yeah like and it's the same with why after the first school shooting was something not absolutely put in place to eradicate that from ever happening again see how here in the uk we have um there

was like the moral panic of like knife crimes and when that was like at its height yeah was everyone in news there were stops and shirt searches there were like the government were on it well they did their best so they could obviously it still happens but we don't hear of it as much yeah for me it's like it's not in America it seems like it's not a moral panic it's more like it's just life and I think me personally I don't know how I don't know how parents are doing it in America no I honestly don't know how parents teachers and I alone are literally surviving america with that kind of aspect that they've gotten kind of like normalized yeah well that's the thing

because a lot of people in america have the viewpoint that like i read something the other day they they said like oh our president is protected by um people with guns yeah our favorite celebrities are protected by people with guns yeah are like borders all of these things like the police defend themselves with guns protect us with guns yeah why don't teachers carry guns i could not imagine training for a teaching degree whilst also doing my ak-47 badge at the same time yeah i don't think that's what they use that's how um uneducated i am about it but like for example on the growing up on the isle of wight there was one instance where someone was found to have like weed in their locker yeah

and when i tell you we had police in the school roaming for like four weeks to just kind of put that pressure down on kids to be like come on the law is watching like just to scare monger people a little bit i can't believe america has this happen every week like and and it's just like no okay it's all right still nothing we'll focus on you know the abortion law roe versus wade yeah but we won't save the children it's happened more than every week like it's literally there have been more mass shootings than days in 2020 128 mass shootings so far but why is it my thing is why one why is it so easy to get a gun in america i feel like they need title laws and get maybe there are title laws but tighten it again but then again like i said america is a very consumerist country yeah yeah so everything is about spending more advertising and the growth of the economy

right yeah and i'm guessing the industry makes a lot of money yeah not to sound dumb but then i also do think like even if they were to abolish guns how would they get them all back true but then again let's say if the uk did adopt that gun culture here we could be the same as america as well so we're not any any really do you think okay could you imagine like if people in the uk demand them and crazy people and normal people were able to defend themselves with a gun yeah they will take that responsibility and they'll they will they'll own a gun if somebody if you somebody tells you oh you can own a gun me personally i wouldn't but like let's say for instance your house got robbed and something

happened you would wish you had that gun yes or no no christy because i've not got intention in me to be able to shoot someone i know i still don't think i'd have one yeah i know it's the whole idea of self-defense is great but we all need to be on equal playing field like let me fight with my fist please those days are good i know it's crazy yeah so people in the uk when did when did buns buns get ganged wow when were guns banned in the uk guns weren't entirely banned in the uk but rather strict gun control laws were introduced after the dunblane school massacre in 1996 so in response to the tragedy the uk government introduced the firearms amendment act which banned the private ownership of handguns in great britain with few

exceptions and also introduced tighter regulations on the ownership of other firearms i didn't even know you know andrew murray was at that school really yeah yeah see that's how you do it you have one thing happen that's actually like we still think about that now it's such a key thing but the worst part is with america i could list off five schools the back of my head now you've heard from the news yeah that is very very crazy but then you also see the difference in how each government has worked towards these type of things when they happen at the uk since 996 don't get me wrong there there have been some shootings there have been some shootings they still go on it go on yeah but look how quick we were to act here yeah america please wake up like can the world like riot with america just for them to stop please

i would happily riot yeah with america to stop the gun sure so i think obviously something we can all agree on is that America has some great food. Yes. So cereals. We've actually got some American snacks for you to try. That's awesome. That's rocking. Is that your American accent?

Yeah, I can do a really good one. Let's hear it. Where am I from? Arizona. Right. Okay, Texas. I'm from... Okay.

Okay. um arizona right okay texas i'm from okay okay i like chris yeah i'm not having them no accent i'm from houston houston texas my name is delilah james and delilah james that was the name of my character in the school play oh god um i don't shut up ick shut up yeah Delilah James, that was the name of my character in the school play. Oh, God. Shut up, Ick. Shut up. Yeah. This first one. Oh, my God.

What is that? What's it called? This first one is a Charleston Chew. Such a strong name. A Charleston. Hey, can I get a Charleston Chew? No. What would the UK equivalent be?

A Brixton brick. Yeah. I like that. The colours though. It's screaming like cowboy ranch. I'm like my Charleston chew. No, cowboy hat. Is it from Houston, this Charleston chew thing?

Christy, it says tri-frozen. Tri-frozen? Is it ice cream? No. That's random. What is it? Read the description. frozen is it ice cream no that's random what is it like read the description like what is it it says chocolatey artificially flavored you couldn't just pretend it was chocolate it doesn't look like it actually looks like oh here it is chewy flavored nougat with a delicious delicious chocolatey coating what's nougat with a delicious chocolatey coating. What's nougat? Sorry. I don't know.

I can't remember. It's like, isn't it what's in a crunchy? Yeah. Does it look like nice? No. No, the way she's put her face here. It looks like free to, smells like Twix. Okay.

Get out! So it's very chewy I'm guessing who's needing a snack that long and big well Americans in it Americans in it

yeah it's giving it's giving like a a poo on a shelf a log of poo a poo on a shelf Ikea what

I think I said that in the last video I'm so unoriginal yeah alright do you wanna are you gonna pick it with your hands Ikea. What? I think I said that in the last video. I'm so unoriginal. Yeah. All right, do you want to... Are you going to pick it with your hands or should I feed it to you? Do you want the chance to try it?

Should we just snap it in half? Yeah. Do you want to hold it properly? Oh. Oh my Christ. Oh, is there really a bendy weapon? Tug of war. No, no, no.

Okay, that's stupid really, isn't it? America, we love your food that is my vertebrae that looks like i'm obsessed with this woman on tick tock that sells um chews for dogs this looks like a dog a dog treat it does actually oh i was stuck on my teeth if I had veneers yeah my teeth were coming out oh my god it looks so ancient an artefact it tastes like coffee artificial it is this isn't real chocolate this is not nice

where's it from America Charleston you fucking dummy it's quite oh now it's all my white trousers it's quite it's quite thick i mean any food that kind of just tastes artificial it doesn't taste like like Like coffee. Cocoa powder. Cocoa powder. Cocoa powder. Like, what's it called? An ingredient mum. An almond mum that just has like stuff in their pantry.

You eat a spoonful of cocoa powder instead of an actual chocolate bar. Yeah, I think that's what it's giving. Okay, writing out of. It's giving nothing. I wouldn't buy this. I'm not going to lie. The packaging itself Is not You know Screaming It's not screaming to the eye

Oh buy me off this You okay Come get me No I'd give it It'd be nice a five I'll give it a three Guys

So this one is It's stuck on my teeth Twizzlers Hello Twizzlers i'm not the low fat snack okay looks like something i'll go for on a diet sure yeah question my thing is yeah for america being the place where they sell amazing they have amazing snacks amazing food what's going on with the packaging yeah like that it's not screaming take me off the shelf bring me to your house it's not put me in your

snack cupboard put me in your snack cupboard what the fuck is this why is it what what is it looks like like your arteries so the first the last one was something Yeah, all your insides. And now it's... Oh God. What? This is giving ASMR. Is it? Here's your delicious snack. Christie, enjoy it every last bite. Why does it look like plastic?

Looks like fucking plaited hair tweet. It smells like You know the Gel pens No You know in your car where you've got the air freshener that hangs on the Yeah The thing shield What?

Shield? Listen, listen Do you hear that? That's nice That's satisfying It's like a fidget Okay, and then? Why are these things so hard?

You know those things you tie up your bike with? It tastes like tar. It tastes like tar. That's so cool. What do you tie your bike up with? It's got two things on the end. Yeah. Who do you lock your bike with?

A bike lock No it's a Not that we eat bike locks but No you go camping with it No guys First taste of No Do you know

That licorice Sweet That we have here No Christy it doesn't even taste of anything It's like if see-through could be described in a taste it would be this is that acceptable way to describe it it's like a see-through with a texture of eating a plat for me because it's not giving me no where's the sugar rush

when i was watching home and away home and away when i was watching home alone you look like you're the drainage food i'm not enjoying this like it's the land of charlie and chocolate factory isn't it yeah where's your sugar oh no it's just what have you got that fucking tiktok pickle shut up oh my god yes yes yes what the hell have you seen it what the hell what i don't like the funk up funk i am i can't believe this is in my hand right now you know people pay 25 fucking british pounds to buy these on tiktok shop i don't know what what are you giving me right here it's a pickle in a in a plastic i'm not having i'm not having that pickles are not sweets well no a pickle is a pickle why it's made in the usa why are people um i don't really know. People are absolutely obsessed with these. And do you know, they even go as far as making it... Oh, no, I sit there dribbling at night when I watch it.

They'll wrap it with a fruit roll-up and then put chamoy in there. Oh, my life. And takis. Why are you not on TikTok? I am, but I would not be watching that. A pickle. Yeah.

The only pickle i like is a gherkin is that is it my in my big mac yeah well okay right so the way you've got to do it is that you have to you have to drink the juice as well oh hell no yeah that's sometimes favorite part that's sometimes people's favorite part well you can do that no we both have to all right i'm actually terrified because it might not even be no smells like a mcdonald's farm okay do you want to you try the juice first are you done careful careful careful oh it's so sinister it's so sinister go on go on juice first and then the deal himself i'm scared

this is america's finest no no come on yeah you think i want to drink from the thing oh my god i will spit inside here that's what people do why it's what the tiktokers do is there a straw no i'm scared i'm gonna throw it up and i'm gonna smell the pickles okay okay you're so fucking dramatic isn't your dad a chef why are you drinking pickle juice every time you're not meant to drink it. Yeah, you are. Don't spill the tea. Was it not nice? You animal. You animal.

Pickles, I can't take the pickles now. I need to go. Your turn. Really, I don't think there's enough left for me now. Oh. That's just... Oh. Is that horrible?

Why are we doing this? Okay, well, if you did the juice, do you want me to have the actual pickle? Yes. Okay. Oh, my God, I'm so scared. Yeah, but why? Why is it dry like that?

I hate it. I hate the top already. It looks like a fucking... Yeah, it does. So bad. Give us a little bite. A little nibble. It's like a budgie's arsehole.

I don't know what that looks like. A little nibble. Come on. Oh, that was a... Oh. That's actually peng. What do you mean it's actually peng? You're lying.

You're actually lying. I knew there was a reason. There was a reason. I knew there was a reason. I knew there was a reason. oh that was it oh that's actually peng what she means actually peng you're lying you actually knew there was a reason they weren't lying to me tiktok it's actually peng as in peng peng i'm real no stop it so why so the juice is just bad seems so doesn't it no but she's chewing on it like is it a sweet? I'm scared It's like a McDonald's Big Mac party

Is this actually a thing? I don't want to eat a pickle It's really nice No I don't believe you Alright You can have it What's your rating out of 10 for that? Minus 10

I'd give that a 6 That's actually nice I wouldn't have that as a snack though I'm not sitting getting out of pickle in the cinema am i what's that no what is that so these are blue tackies why are they blue she's terrified so a tacky is a i'm actually dre's i'm not gonna lie again if i went into a shop and I saw this on the shelf,

it's not screaming, take me home. Country roads. Why? New look, same intensity. Oh, it's just spicy. She actually doesn't like spicy things. Oh, actually, I'll try it. She can't even eat paprika.

Jesus Christ. So it's a tortilla chip. What the fuck is appetising about that? Blue like an avatar It's giving blue mould Is that a thing? Don't say that 3, 2, 1, in the mix

I'm not really drawn to blue foods Personally How about peanuts? Avatar, Jake Sully's penis is it nice oh guys well that's that

would you rate that Christy one because my tongue is burning that's mad why do they make it blue okay so we've got some american slang words and phrases all right guys to guess i think i know

these i watch loads of film let's go cool first one cool cool cool will you say that oh the first one jonesing talking messing around talking shit why are you yeah messing around why are you jonesing no it means when you crave something what i'm jonesing that's so weird i'm jonesing like i'm jonesing for a pint of milk no who when did they say that 1820 i'm jonesing nah i don't agree with that one but all right y'all can have it next one jawn like when you're joking and you yawn jawn in the uk is like oh joking jawn somebody that's beautiful. Jaundice, like short for looking a bit yellow in the face. Slang. You're a jawn.

Nice to look at. No. Someone that's... Give us a no. Can you put it in a sentence? Pass me that jawn over there. A jawn. Jawn. Jawn, but said with an accent?

Yeah, jawn. Pass me pass me that john pass me the john no it's a term used in philadelphia to refer to any object person or place what's that thingy oh it's a thingy probably pass me that thingy yeah john pass me john pass me john yeah okay next one john hancock signature nailed it what signature it means hancock i thought you said somebody's name on hancock yeah it's because the guy that wrote his name really big in the in the declaration of independence what's his name john hancock oh can you John Hancock me? Yeah. Well, yeah, you'd say, give me a John Hancock, which is just... I don't think anyone would really say that, surely. No.

But it's why, have you seen the film Hancock? No. We'll move on then. John Hancock. Oh my God, that's... No, my friend's brother's called Joe Hancock. Ew. Okay, next one one Cheugy

That's UK isn't it Cheugy Cheugy in the UK means like When someone tries too hard To be cool I think Is that it Go on Lauren US

Citizenship Dub Copy Go on, Lauren. She already thought of the US citizenship. Dub. Copy. Did you just try to dub? Dub. Can you have it in a sentence? I'm going to get the dub.

Like a weed. I'm going to get the win. What? The win. The win? I think I'm going to, like, I'm going to, yeah. You The win The win? I think I'm gonna Like I'm gonna Yeah You're gonna dub

First place? Yeah Dubsy Bagsy No Well it comes from Dub is short for W And W is short for win

Win Oh Oh Oh W is W is Yeah Exactly

Okay the dub Okay The W Next one Skrr skrr Skrr skrr Skrr skrr Pull up

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Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr Skrr. I'm a person a person a style of a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person who can be a person yeah babe no apparently apparently it could be a person

a style an aesthetic or a type of literally not or a way of life scur i'm doing up scur way of life i don't believe that's wrong that's wrong okay i'll give you the last two okay uh wig wig flu flu wig is the flu like it's to say like oh my god that just bewildered me my wig has come off my head in the wind correct flu wait so it's like that's your wig has been blown off oh hopefully not that's weird you're showing admiration for something that's so okay cool cool cool and last one simp simp i always say this where you're like really obsessed with someone and it's embarrassing you're simply a maniac no simp you're it's not short for simply uh it's like it's just like oh I'm a simp for Harry Styles. Oh, I'm a sucker for.

Yeah. That's what we say. I'm a simp for Nas. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah, you are. Watch me. So that probably passes our US citizenship test and we can get a green card.

So as we know, lawsuits are a big thing in america someone's always getting sued we had the guanif paltrow case recently yeah and she won um you know everyone's always out to sue people so we thought this week's brutal could be you guys reacting to some wild and weird american lawsuits all right let's do it. Nice cock. Nice cock. Is that what you said? Cock. Yeah.

Right. In 2012, a man sued Michael Jordan and Nike co-founder Phil... What's funny? You sued Michael Jordan? Okay. Oh, okay. Right, again. In 2012, a man sued Michael Jordan and Nike co-founder

Phil Knight for 832 million complaining that they look too much like him and called caused him fuck off claiming they looked too much like him and caused him emotional distress the case was quickly dismissed by the court but is still remembered as a hilarious example of frivolous lawsuits in america i mean they say i look like the girl from richard terry biffia oh that he looked like michael jordan not the actual tick who would say right he was talking about the Nike tick Oh my days Right Man look like a chick out here What What

Is going on in your brain What did you imagine in your head then When I was reading the rest of that sentence Do you know Yeah I just It's been a long day Yeah I just I just saw like the night tick

then was like did something he looked like right brutal meter that is hilarious i want to give it like 10 because that's stupid you don't still think he looks like this pit okay good no but the fact that he actually went yeah funny 832 million as well like no not 100 grand no 8 million won't do let's go 832 million yeah sounds like a good number they should have given him a bit of the money they can afford it sure yeah right then mrs tick right in 2007 a judge sued a small Korean dry cleaning business in Washington, D.C. for £67 million because they had allegedly lost a pair of his pants.

The cleaners offered to settle the matter for £12,000, but Pearson pressed on with the lawsuit. The case dragged on for two years, causing harm to the cleaners' business and was ultimately dismissed by the court. So petty. So, because of one piece of pant. 67 million.

For one pant. For one pantaloon. Pantaloon. That is, first and foremost, there must be something inside that pant. Yeah, you're probably right. There must be something inside that pant yeah you're probably right there must be more to the story yeah

because to sue somebody for that much two years that's like you've not got something better to do with your time thank you

and a judge sued them boy do you know what yeah poor cleaners I know right your livelihood gone

for gone brutal meter nine that's awful yeah 67 million again More cleaners. I know, right? Your livelihood gone. For gone. Brutal meat are? Nine. That's awful. 67 million. Again, most random number you've ever fucking heard. In 2010, a woman sued the makers of Cap'n Crunch cereal,

claiming that there were too few berries in the cereal. She sought five million in damages for false advertising and deception. The customer's always right yes very well done and i will be taking that onto the uk bro five million damages for false advertising so did she get she won it i guess she won it she saw it is fucking rude though yeah what is a robot in charge of putting the berries in i don't know but can you know but can you imagine yeah yeah you have have you had crave the cereal yeah yeah Yeah? Have you had Crave?

The cereal Crave? Yeah. So imagine now you're eating the Crave, but there's no chocolate inside the Crave. That's enough to ruin your week. But then my thing is, you have to have the confidence to go and actually see. Because me personally, I'd be like,

I ain't going to win anyway. So funny. And I ain't got the money. Maybe British people were too polite because I'd just send a harsh email, to be honest. I did did that in subway once because the woman up the road didn't give me enough um stuff in my subway every time so i emailed subway and they're like just confront her about it i was like you is that what they said yeah brutal meter um seven yes queen go go ahead in 1994 when i was born a man sued the makers of budweiser beer for 10 000

pounds claiming that their advertising had caused him emotional distress by depicting happy people enjoying the beer he argued that he had been led to believe that drinking budweiser would bring him happiness but had instead been left feeling depressed did he win did he win doesn't say he didn't win but the same way my lady with the berries cap and crunch won yeah but that's a valid thing that yeah i mean you can't really be quite naive to believe i've been there oh red bull wings Bull wings. Yeah. You were jumping off. Yeah, the table when I... There. Yeah. Well, you can sympathise with him.

I can. But I just think he's fucking silly. Okay, so what... Okay, me and him, what brutal meat are you giving us then? Let's hear it. Let's hear it. You're both from 1994. It could be your twin.

It could be my twin. No. Well, you're fine. Yeah. Because you're fine yeah because you're a child he's probably old enough to know better and of the drinking age

so I'd probably give that brutal meter seven imagination ship imagination ship yeah this is part of the podcast where we play

don't spill the tea where you spill the tea and we try not to. I'm so bad at this. Okay. Ready? When I was eight, I had a pair of those Healy trainers. You know, the ones with the wheels.

Well, one day I was in Tesco with my dad and I grabbed the back of his jean pockets to pull me along. It wasn't until I turned around and saw my dad chasing after me that I realised I'd grabbed some random bloke's butt pockets. Safe to say I was embarrassed. That's funny. So I needed a poo or something in there. In where? The child probably figured out The child got kicked out Okay

Okay Okay okay okay okay go on watch that back that was the most impressed I've ever had. Sorry.

Go on. Okay. My kid projectile vomited all over an aisle at a grocery store and someone came flying around the corner, slipped and fell, flipped their full shopping cart and a bunch of their items broke my voice broke as well adding to the mess then my darling little boy looked at them and said

you should have been more careful what little shit oh okay when i was 12 or 13, I was at a dance workshop with an attractive male teacher. At some point, he mentioned how he was bloated from eating too much salt stupidly i imagined someone just eating straight salt and thought it was funny so i laughed and pretended to shake salt into my mouth everyone stared at me in horror as i mimed shaking salt into my mouth laughing away not realizing that it looked like I was miming a blowjob. Okay, I'm going to go next one. I was followed by someone in a supermarket once. I noticed that I was being followed, so I started to speed up.

No matter what I did, he kept matching my speed to the point where he ended up chasing me down every aisle in the shop. Eventually, he caught up with me and then asked if he could have his trolley back. Okay. caught up with me and then asked if he could have his trolley back okay all right long on here so i recently discovered that my boyfriend has a mermaid kink it all started out innocently we were watching an episode of h2o just add water on netflix and i noticed that he was way more into it than usual. He kept talking about how cool it would be to swim like a mermaid and how beautiful the underwater scenes were.

I really like them too. I love HD worlds all through my eyebrows. Cleo! Then we were watching Pirates of the Caribbean. He got really excited during the scene when there were mermaids. He kept saying how hot they were and how he wished I would be a mermaid too. That's when I started to get suspicious. Finally, I decided to confront him about it.

At first, he tried to deny it but eventually he confessed that he's always had a thing for mermaids he even admitted to having a secret collection of mermaid themed toys and art i was shocked to say the least i mean i love the little mermaid as much as the next person but this was a whole nother level i don't know if i can handle being with someone who's into such an unusual fetish. And that was the end of the story. I'm laughing at the art part, I don't know why. That, we definitely spilt the tea.

That, we definitely spilt the tea. And do you know what, that's a wrap thank you so much for listening and watching Tea at 4 and if you have any good don't spill the T

stories for us please send them to teaat4 at junglecreations.com see you next week bye