Tea at Four - Ep 23: Dating Apps, Ghosting And The Reality Of Romance In Your 20's

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

In this episode Christie and Ellie discuss what it's like looking for love (or fun) in your 20's. The highs and lows of meeting your match in real life vs dating apps and their worst ghosting experiences. The girls share all on their most embarrassing relationship stories and give some below average advice to the listeners on how to find love.

you're gonna put me off you that's like having spaghetti bolognese every single day i'm gonna hate it well that's marriage hi guys and welcome back to t at four i'm christy and i'm ellie and this is the podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in the group chat exactly and today we're going to be talking about dating okay so pain the pain the pains of dating do you know what's so funny not to say that i'm stalking you or whatever yeah but ellie's got a tiktok where she just like your obsession on dating like like what's going on sis talk to me i actually the funny thing is i actually have had no dating for like a year yeah so all of the dating things i talk about on my tiktok are actually mainly things from a while ago okay so is that like where you're just addressing your pain

yeah i'm just letting it all out it's like my diary your diary but now i'm just getting back into dating so this is actually very relevant for my life situation at the moment so talk to me what is your experience on dating have you had great dates experience bad dates terrible just terrible you know yeah i just haven't actually had that many dates just lots of situationships really okay so why do you think you don't have that many dates what's going on eddie i don't know you don't know i'm just going for the wrong men probably really yeah and how are you finding these men just come up to me like in this yeah because i don't know i don't know i don't know i find it quite dating to me in the 21st century in this day and age is the ghetto yes um i do feel like i don't know people are

don't get me wrong people want to spend time with other people but i feel like people date for the sake of just wasting other people's time yeah i'm just saying yeah i'm just saying i don't think people really know what they want thank you it's so easy to find something thank you well like you meet somebody it's great the first two days and then after that is like fuck off onto the next one yeah i think our attention gets taken away very easy it's easy to find something else now but then why i do feel like back in my parents but our parents let's just say they had fun dating experiences where the dates even till now they are still dating whereas now i my dating experience not to slate the guys that i've dated um they've been some good good dates but i just need consistency i get that consistency

yeah no one's consistent no one's consistent like just gets bored thank you or they ghost you yeah i'm not a fan of ghosting what is up up with the ghosting? Have you been ghosted? So many times. I feel like every girl has been ghosted so many times. What would you say is like your worst ghosting experience? My worst ghosting experience? I don't know. Everyone just gets ghosted after they sleep with you. I feel like quite a...

Really? Yeah, no? Not just me? Well, if we're sleeping together, you're definitely not ghosting me because... No. What's your worst ghosting experience? All right.

Okay, my worst one, yeah, is where you start talking, you meet on social media, you follow each other, whatever, whatever. You know, you start stalking the stories here, there. You're liking a story. You're not liking the pictures on my page or on my feed but you're liking my stories so then we kind of have a kind of conversation going on there yeah it goes great then we jump onto the whatsapp you use whatsapp you use whatsapp

i message talking talking talking talking talking and then nothing dead silence like the person just goes quiet and that for me is very very scary because now i'm invested i'm invested and i'll be messaging you like oh happy christmas you're not replying back to me christmas that's a classic one yeah do you know i mean or like happy new year i don't even get a reply but you're fucking online i can see it says online we might be liking your stories no no no no you're even posting on another social media app but you're not replying back to me on text i find that so disrespectful no that is bad i don't do it like i try and avoid all social media stuff whatsoever i'm just really not a fan of it yeah it just aggravates me so you ghost people people ghost you you're a ghost aren't you you've

ghosted you've ghosted a lot of guys haven't you i've ghosted one but i feel like he was gonna ghost me anyway you know when you feel like it fizzling out yeah so i was just like i'm just gonna i'm gonna i'm just gonna leave this yeah i'm gonna leave before he leaves me but then why why don't we just try and make it work because he gave me the ick i just didn't oh my god not these icks i feel like icks are just they they are something that we've over what's the word we've over he also called his ex a psycho he called his ex that's that's a red flag he called his ex yeah and that's why you ghosted him before he ghosted you i went out for another date with him because he was buying me dinner and i just wanted some free dinner Ellie and then after that

I could feel like he was losing interest so I was like yeah so then would you say okay describe to me describe to me what would be your ideal like dating experience from start to finish like how do you guys meet up

how does the course go like just explain to me I just want someone you meet someone it's like you've known them for years no that's the fact i feel like the ct that childhood sweetheart palaver that blood clot thing doesn't exist i'm i'm telling you it doesn't exist no more i'll let you land but i'm just saying i'll let you land go on go on go on I'm telling you it doesn't it's no more this is dead so what no no no I'll let you land but I'm just saying I'll let you land

go on go on go on yeah so you yeah you've known each other for a long time you've known each other you're just comfortable but they like also like have a brain

and like are you dating people who have no brains yeah some of them it's questionable but like you're also like attracted to them

at the same i'm just asking for a lot i feel like but i don't think that's asking for a lot though no and i just yeah consistency like after the date they actually message me and be like when do you want to ring it up again does that ever happen so what are you dating for you dating for the fun of it or you dating for i don't actually know you don't know what you're dating for you're just dating for the sake of dating yeah really i think that's the problem i think you're dating for i don't actually know you don't know what you're doing i'm just kind of you're just dating for the sake of dating yeah really i think that's the problem i think you're the problem to be fair i could be the problem at the moment because i really have no idea what i want okay fair enough but i'll say that that's fine i'll say that to be accountable i'm very

like up front like yeah like what is this what do you want i don't know what i want i see because me and my old age i'm not that old guys but my old age because i'm a grandma at heart i want to date for marriage because i actually get married and i'm getting old hello husband if you're out there listening is it this hand in it left the left hand yeah if you like it then you should have please put a ring on it um so i think for me it's like i don't want to date to waste my time yeah no i get it because i feel like with dating you're you're so invested in it i'm spending time with you money yeah it's a big thing now because dates are not cheap and i also do feel like the pressures of dating is that social media or like celebrities have kind of like glamorize it to the point where it's like if you're dating

somebody and they do they don't do x y and z yeah then they're not the one for you do you know i'm trying to say but i i do you feel like gone are the days where we can go out for a walk you know i would love to go out for a little walk in the park and have a coffee thank you do you know i mean a little picnic yeah everyone's just going out getting drunk and having shots thank you i don't need all the the flashy shenanigan things i would rather you invest on the person you know i want to do something boring so i actually get to know you not not what's not no you're trying to say walking is boring wait hold on no no no no no no it's not doing something distracting you from who they actually are if you get what i mean yeah ellie you i heard you mentioned something about situationships right okay a little a little moment here i know what they are but like i wouldn't know how to explain a situationship yeah so with your experience of

situationships okay talk to me i think a situationship is when you pretty much do everything you would do in like a boyfriend girlfriend yeah relationship or like exclusive relationship but you're not actually in an exclusive relationship so friends with benefit is a situation ship kind of yeah but then you're also like going out on dates and like getting to know what their family's like and they want yeah they want the the like the essence of being in a commitment but without actually committing to you so the the the relationship without the title basically basically yeah yeah i can't it's not fun no no but then how do you like do you know when you're getting into it like how do you

you have to learn i think you have to learn everything like every girl goes through experience where they learn when they're getting into a situation ship because my thing is yeah i don't think guys ask girls oh do you want it can i can I be your girlfriend? What, can I be your boyfriend? Do you want to be my girlfriend? I don't think, I've not heard that question in a very long time. I feel like boys now just want to get what they want to get without actually asking for it.

Or you should know by the way I'm acting. Brother, you could be acting like that with everybody else. So how am I meant to know? Literally. So I don't know. I have to, I feel like girls have to, I at the moment am very upfront and be like,

what do you want? Do you like me? Yeah. and then as soon as they tell me what it is then i know and then i'm like okay so for instance if let's say we're going out right and you're doing everything right yeah you haven't you haven't asked me yet but you're doing everything right and you're taking me out on dates like you even bought me a new car yeah because you rich like that i ain't materialistic but you rich like that you bought me a new car and um yeah we travel blah blah but you've not asked me out yeah you've not you're not officially asked me christy do you want to be my girlfriend right cool so then i can now come to you i'm like what we doing like what are we what is this what is this yeah it's a bit like raw like no i feel like it's like a valid question no but some guys are like whoa yeah i'll be like then get out of my way like if you're not sure then someone else will that's the thing

like i feel like girls we get stuck in a place where we want to ask these questions we don't want to because we don't want to throw the person off but then how dare i stay and wait on just the fox is just sitting there like what's going on do you know what i mean like ask me so i do feel like situationships is it's not avoidable everyone's basically in their situation is in their situation english situation ship yeah i feel like it can be avoided at the very if you i would ask what someone wants like after the first date yeah no yes i literally i don't know i did that that makes sense like i just want them to be up front with me like if they'd be like oh i just want to sleep with you regularly if they said that i literally respect

them more i'd be like okay okay cool fine i know what you want now so i'm not saying i'm gonna be like no but like at least then i know but what if it's somebody like i hear that i'm all about that like let me know where it's from the jump because i'm not jumping in this pool and i can't swim you know if i think we're both i'm dragging you down with me period but um what i was going to say is how what if yes for instance you've asked the person and what they want is what it's not what you want do you still go ahead with that relationship or that probably not no probably not depends on what they are so you're more inclined to like fuck your feelings i'm gonna still try you know i'm still gonna ride this boat yeah i'll learn something from the end

of it though like when i get my heart broken i'll be like okay so how do i make a few tiktoks and i'll get over it so how do i avoid for the people at home and the people listening how do we avoid situations from the date guru i'm a date guru i would literally just ask what they want and then if it's not the same as you then it's not the same as you and yeah if you want to do the sensible thing then you stop talking to them if you want to true cry a bit and and it's okay yeah like i'm 23 like i'm i'm i'm okay about crying a little bit more about no i'm so sorry that thing is yeah i can't be asking bare man oh what do you want and you're telling me just to have fun brother i'm turning 30 soon what are you doing

yeah like my ovaries they're gonna shrivel see okay i'm not faded i'm i've got a while to fade you guys just let you guys know but um yeah i do feel like if let's say you keep on asking those questions and the people that you're meeting are not ready for a said relationship then what do you do go find this go find somebody else four billion men in the world yeah a lot of them are the same but that's surely there's gonna be one or two out there but i'm gonna i heard something today it was like you shouldn't look for the right person you should look for someone who's looking no you shouldn't look for the right person you should look for someone who's willing to work on the right things with you oh i i i like that yeah i like that yeah

i liked it as well i was like okay i'm not looking for something perfect i'm looking for someone who's a broken okay not a broken oh no no no no no no no no no but also someone that couldn't they're willing to put in the same effort as me. Yeah. Yeah. I hear that. I'm like, I'm still looking for that, but I'm willing to try other things. Because I feel like I don't know exactly what I like at the moment either.

So that's why I'm kind of just. You're in a great part of your life right now. I know. I can't lie. You've got it good. Because when I've got my parents calling me like so when like my parents even asked me like do people not talk to you on the street like where's your boyfriend mom was like you know you're turning 30s and it's me mom 30s in a couple of years but yeah like

don't people chat to you on the road like do you want me to she even said do you want me to like create a page for you i said no no no no no no no no and i was like to them i don't think you understand like the streets are cold yeah the street there yeah it's not it's the ghetto i'm sitting in the pavement waiting and nobody's coming to get me not even the guy that cleans the street is good enough good enough for me that's how bad it is but it's just that they've had it so easy and we've got like we've got online dating and stuff even online is scary no online makes it worse online makes everything worse because the grass is always greener in men's minds i think because i think

oh i've completed this one now i may as well jump online and see what i can get next so then what do we do if i can't find somebody online i can't find somebody in person, then the dating scene is doomed. Yeah. I'm just going to become a nun. That's my mentality at the moment. Yeah. I might just become a nun. We'll see where I am

this time next year. Maybe we should like regroup every so often. Every six months. Like six months with you. So Ellie, how's your day? It's so often. Every six months. Like six months with you. So Ellie, how's your day? I get the tissues out. Do you know what I mean?

No, but I'm hopeful that we are in a day and age where people, it's good to enjoy dating. It's fun to kind of like get to know people. But like you said, know what you want. And don't feel like you need to know to date. Go and dibble dabble and find kind date go and dibble dabble and find kind of like dibble dabble and find what is for you and learn about yourself at the same time yeah i feel like stop putting so much energy into other people whether they like you and see whether you

like them yeah do you believe in soulmates uh no no i don't know i feel like someone could be your soulmate in the moment i can i believe in soul friends soul friend oh my friends my girl they all are my soulmates yeah but that can be the same with men surely it's just men have no soul they do but i don't know soulmate maybe you know back in like childhood back in school yeah my first crush big up massimo you were my soulmate but i gotta get that you were my soulmate you see oh my god italian no it Spanish Spanish oh I had an Italian sorry mate you know Italiano that was

that was my soulmate but it was you know young love it was like a crush I didn't even talk to him did you actually talk to him

yeah I went to his birthday and everything lived in a bungalow yeah man Massimo he's got curly hair I was just too shy and too awkward

to actually talk I never spoke to him really yeah yeah I don't I don't know-throughs to actually talk. I never spoke to him. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Now, soulmate, I don't think I... If Massimo approached you now...

I think he's married, you know. I'm not going to lie to you. But if Massimo approached me now, I know both our parents... Both our parents will be super happy and we'll have half Italian andgolese kids

yeah it'll be great cute yeah i could i've seen it if he sees this i know i was just thinking that huh you're open to it um yeah that's even if he's married would you go for a hold up no i leave the married men alone but um yeah because i feel like that's somebody i've known for the for a good part of my life yeah um i mean just like you said you want i feel like i don't like dating people though that have known me from like ages ago because i was a different person no but i literally was i feel like if i meet, like, for example, I met up with a guy on Friday. You know how it's like meeting a friend? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I met up with a guy on Friday who knew me from first year uni. Yeah. I didn't know what the hell was going on because he asked me up for drinks and I was like, you've literally never asked me to meet up for drinks before in my life. So we were out for ages. And then after I was like so confused because he said oh we'll meet up again for your birthday which is in like three weeks time yeah i was like well it can't be that keen on me like because three weeks time yeah it's like quite a long time

but then he still wants to meet up again so i was just like what what is going on he likes you no he just wants he's just got our relationship okay so he just wants basically some fun hold on so he just wants some fun i reckon he just wants some fun but he's knowing me from uni and me at uni i wasn't exactly like i'm gonna settle down with you and have children yeah i was just like a fun party girl so i think he just has that image of me in his head you're outside outside i'm outside too i like to party yeah but i i don't do that as much now oh i don't yeah it's a weird situation yeah so he's asked to meet me yeah i don't know isn't it easier to go with

someone that you've previously known or have an inkling about them finding somebody new that can basically bring up a whole like they can pretend to be somebody that they're not but if it's somebody from the past that you're like oh that's that's that's off i know you're not like that no i feel like someone can change i've known him for like five years so someone can change like in five years i hear it but better to know somebody for five years and find somebody new known them for five years and then the five years that comes then it's like

I never liked you I liked your sister or something like that do you know what I mean yeah I don't so let's say someone from five years ago

decided like hey Chrissy can we go out for some drinks and you had a good time with them wait someone from five years that I've known

or someone that I've dated before someone that you've known for five years I'd give it a go yeah because they do say that the person you're going to marry is somebody that you've known before yeah but what if they after said that it was going to be like they weren't looking for a relationship

fuck you fuck you and fuck off don't waste you see me you better not waste my time I got better things on my mind like don't waste I'm the type of off don't wait you see me you better not waste my time i got perfect on my mind like don't waste i'm the type of person don't waste my time don't waste it i don't have time i don't have time i actually don't have time like no i'll actually cry i don't have time the dating scene is so no no no no no deep me yeah i'm telling you enjoy it because once you get to my age should i enjoy it or should i settle down i feel like you're gonna understand

who you are and what you want for what you want for yourself and what you want for the guy you want to settle down with do you want to marry i think so yeah you think so yeah i definitely want like that kind of thing you think so yeah no i do i do i want like basically a husband and kids yeah husband and kids yeah any how many kids i'd like three two of my own one adopted preferably you're so lovely so so you see right now enjoy it but they'll get they'll get to no let me just ask you a question one question okay did you ever had like an age where you're like at this age i need to be settled down married kids living my best life yeah no that was literally me about a month ago and then i actually started dating again so you said at 23 you wanted to have yeah i feel

like i've been like that for quite a while like for the past year i feel like okay no i actually just want to find someone i want to settle down with but then when this guy asked to meet for drinks i was like oh my god like yeah this could be and it freaked me out yeah i was like i'm just too happy with my freedom at the moment to actually just i hear it like jump yeah so that's when i was like oh maybe i'm not actually ready ready yeah if you get what i mean oh maybe i'm not actually ready ready yeah i forget what i mean but maybe i was just overthinking it because i heard a term today called emotional masturbating what emotional emotional masturbating yeah it's basically when you are talking to someone yeah and you're you instantly think of all the things in your life that they could be filling

oh i've done that so then you immediately start thinking about all the things in your life that you need to change in order for them to like be a part of it even when you're only just started dating and it's more common in women than it is in men why don't men have this i don't know what's going on i think it's all the princess films we saw probably so what would they oh they're watching action and action and we'd get no action so

I'm guessing clearly that's not gonna motivate you to find a wife and settle down with is it gosh literally Chrissy

have you ever been in love with myself yeah oh love that with myself yeah

love a queen and love me and have I been in love have I been in love i feel like if your answer isn't an instant yes it's isn't that what people say like if you if you don't know then it's a no it's a no yeah have i been in love i don't think i've been in that's a big word man i don't know i know what type of love we talking here exactly so you think there's different types of love yeah because then it's lost loss is not love but no there's the thought you think you're in love but you're not actually in love yeah

and there's a love where it's like no but what's love got to do what's love that's hard for me to answer i can't have you been in love i don't think i have no i feel like i've had obsessive love do you get what i mean okay maybe rather than real love yeah yeah obsessive love yeah i've been obsessed definitely been obsessed like with gremlins as well it's just gremlins it's the film was that i thought you're calling somebody a gremlin yeah no actually yeah yeah i wrote an 18 page letter to a rabbi this was like i was obsessed with the gremlin yeah and i couldn't be with him because he was jewish and i just didn't understand so i wrote an 18 page letter to a rabbi.

I'm reading you were four page. Okay. Yeah. Did you get a reply back? In an email, something of some sort. He invited me to a conference or something. Wow. Wait, what?

Ellie. You wrote a letter to a rabbi because you couldn't be with yeah yeah i've i've what was the letter like what were you trying to do i don't know because he the guy gave me a book explaining why he couldn't be with me wow yeah so then i highlighted all the things in the book what i didn't agree with and then i sent it to the rampage would it be easier to convert no it was really hard to convert no i hear that though wow i'm determined i mean i look back on it now it's like well you really should just let it go but yeah but was that your did you wait was that your soulmate that was your soulmate definitely not for you to write 18 page later i was just obsessed like i was just obsessed i think i was kind of also had

other things going on yeah i was kind of just obsessing over him rather than actually focusing on like yourself yeah wow and then 18 page letter was the thing that needed to happen well that's good that you've done that because now i've got my sister yeah your sister started to reflect you because i feel like you'd probably still be obsessed with that person right till now Well, that's good that you've done that. Yeah, I've got it on my system. Yeah, your system's starting to reflect you. Because I feel like you'd probably still be obsessed with that person right until now. No. You didn't do that? No.

No. Not at all. No. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to play a game called Red Flag or Green Flag. Exciting.

And I know you guys know what this means. So we're going to read some statements out. And then we're going to see whether it's a red flag or green flag for us okay yeah sounds good sounds exciting let's go okay first one wanting to go out with his friends without you wanted to go yeah that's fine that's fine because like no i don't think you think it's a red flag no i wouldn't say i would just say no flag no flag why No flag. Why are you holding it by the... It's not a red flag. Because his mates are not my mates.

Not letting you look at their phone. Invasion of privacy. No, come on. What's on the phone? That's the point. Yeah, but you're saying red red flag but is he allowed to look at your phone yeah okay can i can i why would you not want him looking at your phone you can look at my phone so let's say you wanted to like google something and you tried to go on

his phone and it's like no you can't use my phone oh that's a red flag come on now i'm like this i'm i'm i'm both of them red and green how i see it is that you're your own person i'm my own person right that is your place of that's your moment and my phone is my moment why couldn't like fishing be his moment why why are you putting i feel like people can have their own moment but in a different way it doesn't have to be on their phone for you having access to their phone, do you want access to all their accounts now as well? No, but like... I think that's what it's basically saying.

I need to know what's on your phone. I need to know what's your password. I don't need to know what's on your phone. Your phone's your phone. But if I ask for your phone and you're moving a bit mad, then clearly there's a problem. But if you ask for my phone, I'd give you my phone but i don't think i need to know what's on the phone but if you ask for his phone and he said no okay no come

on okay that's that's you and your own conscience okay okay okay yes no i'm saying red i'm saying i don't think that i don't think it's that deep unless my unless something comes at night and tells me look at the phone then yeah yeah but no okay next one not wanting to share food sorry no like what we are sharing what's mine is yours what's yours is mine yeah i eat like i couldn't eat for yeah i was sharing can you imagine my thing is like i like having things in the middle and we share it yeah you get that meal i get that meal and then do you know what i mean sharing is caring share your food come unless there's mushrooms to keep that to yourself i'll have the mushrooms disgusting i'll eat anything i think it's fine to share if that

is agreed upon at the start but what i don't't like is, what I don't like is, I've been out when I was with my girlfriend and I would order something and she would order something else and then suddenly she decides that she doesn't like what she wants and she wants to have some of mine. No, because when you were a kid

and your mum was eating her food, did you not go and pick out your mum's food, mum's plate? You did. So sharing is caring. How do you know about my food? No, but I don't think nothing's wrong with that

yeah I know I'd share in all situations yeah I'd share as well or it's the I don't want anything and then you get something and then they go actually can I have some

why not that's a classic yeah it is a classic I've been there but sometimes I feel like the food tastes nice off the guy's plate yeah I get that

the food tastes mwah off the guy chef's kiss but you're weak yeah that's never a red flag if you can't share yeah no sharing it's exactly red flag not a fan okay not wanting to go to your family gathering no like why exactly do you not love me and my family exactly that is your family yeah i am my family exactly my family is me you love love me and my family exactly that is your family yeah i am my family exactly my family is me you love me you love my family and i'm even changing my last name for you so you better love my family are you gonna change your last name yeah yeah i am oh i might make my middle name their last name no i think no i love my last name. Yeah.

But I'm so sorry, dad. Oh yeah. What if it's a really light, what if it's something really boring? Smith. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Smith. I'll be Christy Smith. Christy Smith. Yeah. That sounds quite good. That does sound pretty good to me CS Christy Smith

hey Mr Smith hey no I'd I think I'd change what was the original question family gathering I'm changing my last name for you so yeah come to the family gathering do you know what I mean red flag if you don't come not for family too much cool um he doesn't pay for all your meals out

i don't think that's that's not that that's not that deep no it's not that deep it's it's i'd like to pay the most but i'll pay for like a coffee and everything no i don't mind paying no i don't yeah no i would rather pay actually this is one of the things i don't know you're not going to embarrass me so if i'll pay i don't really know i haven't figured that out yet that's one of the things i'm trying to what if he doesn't even offer to pay oh sorry you can't even go pretend that you're transferring money to your your save from your savings to your current account sir i you're not even gonna pretend that you're gonna like you're not even gonna act like don't worry like are you dumb would you ever say yes straight away

that what that you like if he says i'll pay and you haven't said yet to be honest i'm always ready to pay yeah i'm always ready there's no one in this life is going to embarrass me unless you're going to oh yeah babe can you like huh no but if it was like a first date and he offered to pay would you just say you can pay i mean i thought oh thanks i'll say if he wants to pay you can pay but i mean but then that's that thing if whoever asks us for the date or asks us to take the person out, they're entitled to pay. I do that. Yeah, I do that as well.

But me personally, I would rather, I've had a great time with you. I'm going to pay. Yeah. Do you get it? So if you didn't pay. Huh? If you what?

So if you didn't have a good time. If I didn't have a good time. Yeah. I'll still pay because I need to get out of there. Fair enough. Do you know what I mean? But you're not're not going to embarrass me oh just act as if you're going to pay at least yeah do you get it like oh don't worry about it oh i've got that covered or run to the toilet pay and then come back oh it's been paid for do you get yeah but i don't mind paying he compliments you every day oh what why is that a red flag let it marinate for a bit

every day you're beautiful you're beautiful bro let it marinate like do you know what i mean well once something little every day like a bit with it something different yeah oh you're beautiful that's different love languages there i like that don't don't get me wrong i i like the words of affection and stuff yeah but let it marinate yo because you don't season chicken and put it straight in the freezer in the freezer in the other two let it marinate like yeah too much i think over is that an ick more than a red flag for you no it's a red flag because why are you always complimenting me what if he just likes you yeah tell me you like me that's that's miss me

a bit as well you know don't don't don't don't do too much i'm a bit of a toxic lover toxic love yeah sorry okay next one he wants to see you every day i feel like i would just want attention at the moment so that for me that would be great i'd love to see you every day yeah at the moment i just want attention so no i can see you every day when we get married but not now i get that i feel like miss me we need time apart miss me sometimes okay let me miss you no to be fair i don't want to see them every day i just want them to see me a lot i just want someone like you don't boys just don't want to make the effort to actually see you nowadays but now if they if you've seen you every single day

ellie i'm not gonna like gonna put me off you no that's true you're gonna put me off that's like having spaghetti bolognese every single day I'm gonna hate it well that's marriage when we get there that'll be different I love spaghetti bolognese no I love it too

but when we get there that'll be different but I'm not gonna lie every single day please give me time yeah I get that

give me time like leave me alone leave me alone let me miss you a bit yeah do you get it yeah last one they're never on time for your dates oh see this one i'm not gonna yeah i'm not gonna lie to you yeah you don't like me that much even my friends i shout at them i've waited an hour and 30 minutes for a guy on a date what did you say brother it was even it was even raining i don't know why i did that in the rain oh my god clearly i must i'm an idiot i still had fun but i was i think i was faking the fun when i because you had to

have fun because i had to have fun i was here already but i'm not gonna lie to you if you're not on time i promise you that's not even a red, that's an ick. That's a don't talk to me again. I'm deleting your fucking number. Plus four four. Brother, I,

you see how angry I am right now? Cause I've, I've been there. Why? Yeah, but you went in and out. Why were you there for that long? Maybe I like the person,

you know, I like the person. Oh, it was not like the first time. No, it wasn't the first time, but I'm always like, be on time time if you respect somebody yeah be on time like i can't get that time back so that one hour 30 minutes i stayed outside i could have been watching these tenders like two episodes of these tenders even i don't three thank you don't play with it don't

play with me and don't play with my flipping time i promise you that's a big red flag if i could cover myself in red yeah no if he really likes you he'd be on time thank you yeah he'd want to see you thank you eager be on time yeah oh even to my friends be on time silly guys i don't mind friends no be on time oh be on time okay even work be on time yeah so i've got a few questions from some reddit threads about people asking for relationship advice and i want to know what you guys think we'll try yeah yeah let's go ellie's the guru cool so first one yeah i really like this girl but she only wants to be in an open relationship i've never done this before i normally believe in monogamy but i really like her girl, but she only wants to be in an open relationship. I've never done this before.

I normally believe in monogamy, but I really like her. Should I try it? No. No, I don't think. Do not change yourself for somebody else. If they don't want to change for you, don't do it. No. That sucks.

Yeah. Yeah, don't do it. I feel that. I think if you know what you want before you meet someone, you don't change. Exactly. For someone else. Yes. Yes.

Don't look for the right person the look for someone who's willing to work right with you what was it i don't know yeah what she said at the beginning cool solid advice what do i do if i think my boyfriend is cheating without pushing him away in case he isn't this is a hard one because if you like me i need the context yeah or maybe just i feel like if you've got an inkling there's something going on anyway yeah i'll be like asking would you cheat on me and by that by that reaction then you can go by just be a straight up i feel like you're cheating why do you feel that because of this this that you guys you guys be straight up yeah be straight up then yeah but then would you what would you do in that situation like if you thought someone

was cheating on you the bad me was saying cheat on them back oh but i don't i don't do that i'm a good girl so i will address the person be like like what's going on i feel like we've been i feel like i try and find some evidence before i but that's it you sure yeah but surely you surely if you think surely you have evidence or you have an i don't know if you're an inkling it's like a gut feeling and then i address my gut feeling with trying to find evidence yeah you're right yeah that means snooping damn yeah yeah which isn't great but i can't really think of anything else because you won't be able to sleep at night true i hear it cool next one my girlfriend's breath smells but i don't know how to tell her tell her yeah that's who you're kissing every

every so yeah it has to be brutal about it like literally just like look i know this is gonna be hard to hear but i just want you to know because it's for your own good and for my own sanity your breath smells yeah just be straight up man is it okay to end up dating someone

who is in the same friendship group as you so they're in the same friendship group but they want to date each other is it a good idea uh if you're willing to risk the friendship for the relationship then yes yep and just don't get don't get anybody else involved so go for your well they're going to get involved though that's the thing like if it ends up not working then that's it the friendship group's over that's true you know you just yeah you should be strong-willed if it goes left it goes left are you really that good

friends like you can be in the same friendship group but not be that good friends okay do you know what i mean so then even if it doesn't work out you can kind of be civil with each other in the friendship group yeah but if you're like genuinely like ride or die then then you've got to kind of consider yeah because if it goes left then boy it could yeah yeah give it a go though would you give it a go yeah i would give it a go depends on the situation i'd give it a go it's good to try you want to know if you're back that's true maybe on one day yeah yeah just a date yeah see what's in okay I started dating someone and then he asked me to be

his friends with benefits why didn't he say it at the start yeah for one but if you're more than happy to go ahead with it no

I feel like if you're not saying it like straight up then I'm just a bit like mind you yeah exactly depends on what depends what you're looking for true like if you're happy but then that's us being hypocrites because we're like if that's not what you wanted from the start then don't do it the first true so i would say if that's not what you want to do don't do it but if you're open enough to be like okay let me give it a try then do it but then don't be so hard on yourself when it doesn't

go right because at least you've tried something you've tried something you'll learn from it there you go you won't know to do it you won't know to do it again you'll know not to do it again you know not you'll know not to do it again yeah yeah yeah so if they're worth it the overall thing is don't do it but if you can see no don't do it and don't convince yourself to do it yeah but if it's something that you want to do then do it yeah that's so just don't do it don't do it please don't do it yeah yeah just don't do it yeah don't do it yeah i don't know if don't do it please don't do it yeah yeah just don't do it yeah don't do it yeah i don't know if we'll do an advice segment again no don't do it guys don't do it don't do it if you don't want to do it for your friends of benefit don't do it especially if you want

a relationship don't do it don't do it don't okay last one yeah i'm with someone who i love but i can't stand his friends what do I do get new friends no but you can't stand his friends you're not meant to stand them they're his friends that's true like he can do exactly are you standing them

are you trying to force yourself in that friendship maybe she is maybe he she is yeah I mean I feel like you trying to force yourself in that friendship maybe she is or he yeah maybe he she is yeah i mean i feel like you're in love with him not the the reasons why she or he might not like the friendship could be valid because let's say they're very like uh i don't know they sleep loads of people and stuff like that and he's actually or he or she is actually supposed to be in a committed relationship i wouldn't be comfortable with him being in a friendship group where they're all very like laddy and like yeah

yeah i hear that i hear that i hear that i wouldn't say that he should if that if the friends that he's known for time for a long yeah i feel like you can still be friends with them but you don't have to go and be involved with things that they're doing they if they're real friends then you can do other things with them that don't involve i mean you can do your partner know that oh because what your concerns are yeah and if he feels as if okay cool maybe he is easily influenced by those friends then he can somehow not be not not bring them around you as much. Or, I don't know. It's a hard one.

Yeah. If you genuinely just find them annoying, if that's it, then that's fine. Then you can go do stuff with his friends and you don't have to be there. They don't have to be your friends. But they're not my friends anyway, so. But if you actually have an issue with them

actually affecting your relationship then yeah that's something you need to address yeah definitely so this is the part of the show where we play don't spill the tea where you spill the tea and we try not to let's go giving a hand job to my boyfriend things were hot and heavy he was getting close and my brain was trying to think of sexy things to say and before i could stop myself i said yeah gotta get all the milk out needless to say hard to continue giving a guy a handjob while he's laughing his ass off and saying what the fuck did you just say i feel like she should have thought that through but she did she was thinking while i was doing it just don't say anything at all how about it but sometimes in the moment you're just like bingo got it and then so you'll say

bingo got it i'll say bingo but like maybe he was maybe he was like asking her to say something no don't ask me to say anything man just have your moment. So who would say no? Just get it done. No, yeah, what she said was just, nah. Ruin the vibe.

I'm done. Yeah. I was working at a big construction project in a big industrial plant at the time and we had about 1,500 people there. Obviously, when you have so many people working in something as construction, you have some sketchy people there. So shit there was a guy selling fake ids driver's licenses degrees and shit like that there are a couple of shit smearing guys drug dealers and the list goes

on what the fuck the most fucked up time was when some guy in the locker room showers probably in the middle of the afternoon when everyone was working out, unscrewed the top part and filled the inside part of the shower with shit. And then he put the top back on. At the end of the shift when people were changing their clothes and showering, some unlucky bastard got a shit shower. We never found out who did it. No. What is this place and construction site what they have showers and gyms at construction

sites these construction sites why are you scooping poop this sounds like a lily through documentary place going on no but men do that don't they they do what like they just do yeah like when i was at uni like guys used to do like the weirdest things with each other like they used to like wank into condoms and then put like

the semen on each other's like door handles ugh yeah and they'd just be like poo everywhere that's disgusting maybe

I've just met some sketchy men clearly yeah okay next one midsummer in sweden is one hell of a party and i can't remember i can't remember a single midsummer where people haven't got royally rat arsed or fallen over while dancing around the

giant phallic symbol that we erect for the party rinsing your recently abused palette of rotten fish with large quantities of vodka can get you more drunk than you'd care to imagine 6 a.m and the missus and i have swayed home we were determined to nail each other down and the missus and i have swayed home we were determined to nail each other to the bed when we get home now to be fair she was awesome in bed it's just that this night was about to go wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong. We'd both been drinking

for nearly 20 hours straight. We were both obscenely drunk. I could hardly keep my body erect, let alone Mr. Winky. Mrs. Nugget. What does that even mean i'm gonna read it as it is mrs nugget she'd hoik her grass

then dress up mrs nugget you should have gone the other way I didn't even get any of that I don't understand who went from winky Mrs Nugget she'd hoik her grass stained dress up

and ride my face this she did rather hard i'm not only used to this but a great fan my tongue worked away at her feverishly i was in heaven we both came and as fate would have it the orgasm ripping through her body caused her to grind down harder on my face and fart. Forcefully injecting undiluted rectal gases into my air-hungry nose. Oh this man sounds interesting for sure. Hoinked. Hoinked. A full force and totally ripe hot fart, far worse than the initial burst of smell from the tin,

cleaned up my nostrils. The reaction was instant and completely unaware of her crime, Mrs Nugget ground down harder on my face as I gasped for air. In the full grip of natural bodily rejection, I hoid my alcohol rich stomach content including a large amount of undigested rotten fish straight up her pink mitten she ran screaming to the bathroom leaving a trail of stomach acid alcohol and rotten chunks of fish behind her on the floor as it gushed from her burning snatch that was really well described like he's really thought that through like it wasn't just like oh

yeah i threw up in her like oh my god it's almost like he took pleasure in writing that story does it burn are you okay christy i don't know so i fight no i didn't fight Does it burn? Are you okay, Christy? I don't know. So I farted. No, I didn't fart. Where is this going? I'm just trying to understand what just happened. So she farted. Yeah, and then didn't he throw up in her?

Yeah. Yeah. And you know... Oh. Oh. Well, yeah. yeah yeah I'm guessing that's gonna hurt for Bitski as well

imagine that like that acidicness yeah splash mm-mm wow sorry babe yeah hopefully she went to A&E

she might have like yeah damn it that's quite a specific emergency yeah what an episode oh god ellie it's been a journey it has i feel like i'm close to you now i know you better do you so you know who to look out for if you see any hot men for me you didn't actually point out to be fair specific needs just we'll do that next be ready for marriage

okay and travel okay yeah travel and marriage you got it thank you those are two things yeah thank you for watching this week's episode we hope you enjoyed listening to us talk about our lives yeah basically yeah of course and if you have any interested stories or spill the teas make sure you send them to t at four at jungle creations.com bye