Tea at Four - Ep 24: Conversations and Outrageous Confessions: The Pride Month Special With Julia and Eileen

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

In this episode we have special guests Julia and Eileen in to talk about all things Pride! From their own love story and how they met, to what it means to have representation in the media, and of course it wouldn't be Tea at Four without some juicy confessions that should have stayed in the group chat.

never have i ever it worked oh my god you want to know the truth you want to know hi welcome back to t at four and today we are celebrating pride month and we have special guests julia and alit and beverly hi hi we also have Bobby, our producer on today. Hi guys. How are you feeling? Yeah, it's weird being in this seat. I'm normally over there behind camera, but I'm doing my best to replace Christy. She's all poorly, so we'll do it. But it's not about me, guys. It's about you. So tell us about yourselves. How did you meet? Let's start there. Tinder. about you so tell us about yourselves how did you meet let's start there tinder yeah we met on tinder yeah success story success story it's always nice to hear they should sponsor us yeah they should you should be like an ad when people are swiping yeah that's a great idea

where are you both from because you both have have different accents. Yeah, I'm from Brazil. Oh, okay. Yeah, and Eileen's American. So how, what was your location? Was it like... Yeah, we met in London. Yeah, we both had already lived here for a long time before. Ah, okay, city of love. Yeah, exactly. Forget Paris, it's all about London.

Yeah. I've been here a while. I think that's Paris but second best. Good second best. I haven't found any love on Tinder yet. I had a boyfriend for a year from Tinder. So how long ago was that? How long have you been together? Gosh, it's like five years, six years. It's a long time now.

Yeah, yeah. I think five years. Yeah, we've met five years ago but we've been married for four. Oh! Yeah, yeah. Tell us about that. No, we've met five years ago, but we've been married for four. Oh! Tell us about that. No, three years. No, four. 19, 20, 22.

No, it's going to be four just now in June. We got married in 2019. Yeah, April, June. Oh, right, you're right. So it's going to be four years. Sorry. Sorry, darling. Oh, my God.

God, that's good because when I go shopping for a card, I'll have to get it the right year. Yeah, sorry darling. Oh my God. That's good because when I go shopping for a card, I'll have to get it the right year. Yeah, double check. No, it's funny. I don't know why. I think it's the drive. I'll blame it on the long drive we had. I'm finding out all the secrets.

Bumble, you don't know our anniversary? No, I know our anniversary. There'll be arguments in the car. I'll tell you yeah we're not on Don't Spill the Tea yet so how did you get engaged what was the wedding tell us the whole story

so I proposed to Aileen on stage so I'm a singer songwriter and I was doing a gig so I asked her to come over on stage and she thought it was a prank. I was going to ask her to sing or something like that. And I was horrified, of course. I would have been horrified.

Yeah. Because she knows I don't sing. Sorry. And then I proposed. And she said yes, thankfully. It would have been really embarrassing for me. Well, if you wanted to say no? Yeah, exactly.

Like, can I think about it? We did talk about it before. Like, she didn't know I was going to propose, but we talked about getting married. Like, I wouldn't, like, you know, pressure her like that. Yeah. I don't know why people would do that. It was a beautiful, beautiful night. And Julia somehow kept it from me completely.

It was just really beautiful. In fact, the song she was singing was a very appropriate song. And Julia somehow kept it for me completely. It was just really beautiful. In fact, the song she was singing was a very appropriate song. And she stopped mid-song and she said, Eileen, can you come up here? And I just couldn't think what you wanted. And then she got down on her knee. And at first I was like, what she doing you know and then but I

hopefully didn't look like that to you yeah but um but then you know you proposed to me and it was just really just so beautiful it's really really lovely what was the audience oh yeah they were they were very excited yeah like I invited a lot of my social media followers to go so they knew the story and stuff and us so they were very excited to see it where was it? in East London I think I think it might have been Shoreditch

I think it might have been oh my god I'm going to have to go to one of your gigs I think it was in this room for your anniversary yeah which I can tell you the date for that I'm going to have to go to one of your gigs. Yeah, we're working right now. I think it was in this room. For your anniversary. Which I can tell you the date for that. Where did you get married?

Also around the corner from here. We love London. Liverpool Street. You're from New, you're from America. Everything happens in Jordan. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, but it was here in London, near Liverpool Street. At the Andazes do you know the andes no oh it's a really really chic lovely hotel probably too nice yeah too nice for your

dates and you yeah do you know weatherspoons we go there we actually we actually have been lots of times when we first met because it was like the World Cup at the time. Yeah, we had lots of weather storms. That was the best summer. It was great, wasn't it? It brought me back. That was the best summer. Yeah, yeah. That was the best summer for you guys as well. Yeah.

Did you find that you had any challenges from your family at all? How did they feel about it? Or were they absolutely over the moon? What was the difference in reactions? My family was really great, really accepting. Eileen's family was super accepting too. just or were they absolutely over the moon what was the difference in reactions uh my family like was really great really accepting aileen's family was super accepting too they're all very open minded there's one person in my family that wasn't but it was someone that i already didn't speak to anyway so so that wasn't yeah yeah so yeah we didn't have any problems with that luckily

yeah that's so good yeah it's surprising right because you would think at least someone would have a problem but yeah we've been very very lucky with that yeah I mean really lucky don't you think like Julia's family I mean I'm you know a much older woman and I'm a woman and I mean nobody better than I and her family came over which was really beautiful too for the wedding and stayed with us a couple of weeks. It was really, really lovely. And I just feel so fortunate. It's heartwarming. Yeah. It's lovely.

It's amazing. I feel like some people don't, I mean, I don't really have much of that experience, obviously, but I've got lots of friends and they have such different experiences as well. Yeah. Yeah. So I just find it interesting as well with your age gap. I wonder if you've had different journeys on your sexuality at different times.

Yeah, that's a really good question. How about your experience? So I came out when I think I was about 17. And it was pretty relaxed. Like my family is very open-minded. So it was quite easy. It was kind of like a gradual process. I didn't feel like

I had to pull on come out it was like I had a girlfriend introduced her and it was like quite natural which is the way it should be yeah exactly not really like a big how did you know you were into girls like what was like your first sign that you were like ah okay oh so you know it was strange because growing up I never fancied boys but and i fancied some like close friends of mine but i didn't realize like i just thought like i like them more than my other friends yeah and because i've always been like really really girly and uh i didn't know you could it sounds silly now but i didn't know you could be a lesbian and really feminine yeah yeah yeah so when i was growing up nobody ever thought i was gay and i didn't think i was either because

of that yeah but i had definitely very gay and uh i think gosh probably only realized when i was about like 16 because yeah but that was an option right yeah was there anybody probably discussed this before but was there anybody in your culture who you could you know probably a man or a woman who who is gay that you could say you know i mean how did you know there were gay people yeah i mean i didn't know anyone in person but yeah but no i mean like a famous person yeah well when i was growing up i would only see gay people on tv when people were like making fun of them oh right yeah so sad yeah so yeah they didn't really have any references up and only when uh the l word came out do you know that show it's like a lesbian series yeah yeah it's really good and so only when that came out i was like oh okay so you

can actually like have a normal life be a normal person and be gay and like you can still have a family and be like be feminine like family as well yeah that's that was a big thing it was the first time i realized okay it's not like a huge deal because up until then I thought oh is this weird thing that is like not me yeah even though it was but I didn't I didn't realize it could be me media the representation in the media is like so important to that yeah it's like now I feel like it's getting way better yeah there's so many things out there where like you say there's there's there's like feminine gays on tv it's just there's yeah there's such a spectrum yeah yeah i mean yeah back in well it wasn't even

that long ago was it it's only just now well you know it's interesting with your situation well anybody's situation is that can lead to really horrible self-esteem where you loathe yourself for not finding yourself in the culture yeah you know what i mean yeah it's very brave of you to well like see one tv program and then from that realize yeah i am and then just openly be that person even though you're in such a different culture yeah well it's a process i think like you said where you can own yourself really but yeah it is really really really something it's i've always said to people that it's a developmental phase that you guys won't go through but it's really a major process

for people who are different whether a person is handicapped or just being different you know racially different it's it's an add-on that you know a lot of people straight white people often don't need to experience yeah so what if you don't mind me asking what was your oh no no problem i came out in the 80s and probably before all you were born and and i lived in new york at the time um i grew up in new jersey and just hopped over the river when i got old enough and um so it's the 80s which was a really you know a virulent decade in a lot of ways aids and everything but um kind of like julia i didn't see anything in the culture you know at all that that signaled that i was a tomboy like a major tomboy so i was somebody who grew up a little outside of

the norm and you know being different wasn't too weird or anything. But it took me, you know, quite a bit later than Julia until I was 23 or 24 before I made a conscious decision that I wanted to meet a woman. I had boyfriends before that and, you know, longish relationships. But it was like it all fell in place. And it just it's an intensity that I've never found anything anywhere else and it's just what it is do you know what I mean yeah and but culturally it was a lot different like you know Julie and I got married and to me that was something I never thought about when I was younger because it wasn't a reality so it's quite a quite a different time but in an open country you know it happened you know for a lot of people my age at that you know in the 80s a lot of

society changed uh you know so yeah so it was really pretty straightforward was it just one like within a year you kind of decided that you wanted to experiment yeah well precisely they used the word that i used you know i spoke to a friend who I know knew had kissed a woman at college in Vassar, you know, she went to Vassar and I think was all female then, I'm not really sure. But she told me she kissed a girl there. And, you know, so I spoke to her about, you know, I think I might be bi or I, you know, I might be gay. And she said, you know, well, why don't you go out and see, you know, and that's what I did what i did and i was alone you know it was kind of a lonely journey but it's the way it is and then you'd make friends and you know and you find your people yeah it's like very different experience i guess like yeah

but it's yeah it's good that you're sharing it because i think it opens people's minds yeah yeah yeah and we hear from so many people about their their journey or we get asked so many questions through julia's social media work about you know i have you know my religion doesn't allow for this kind of life my parents are very religious how do you know lots of things like that we get so people look to us for some help sometimes yeah that's so nice that you can use that yeah yeah we didn't sign up for it but it's just a part of our so yeah like a byproduct of yeah yeah the stuff that you guys do so what went sorry I'm taking it back a bit but just when you met on tinder what was it that brought you together oh for me, it was that she was very confident already,

like in her description of, like just on her profile, before we even matched, she said, oh, this is who I am. And she said a few things about herself. And this is the type of person I'm looking for. And she kind of like described the person she was looking for, which is kind of brave, because usually people are a little bit more vague and I thought oh that's cool

I like when people are confident and know what they want so yeah I thought that was very nice I might use that you need to be this this this it was pretty much like that bullet point interesting but not in a rude way

and the last one is thank you for your interest in we may talk no but um julia's was like uh vague no but it was short it was so in essence you you know it was not you know you know how I talk for every thousand words I say, you'll say five, you know. But, you know, it was terse, but gentle and sincere. Well, it's pretty much like my Instagram bio. It was like, I love dogs. Yeah, that would have been a big thing for both of us, you know what I mean? Must love dogs.

But yeah, it was lovely. But the thing that I remember is you had six pictures. And each one was, was beautiful. I mean, you know, you were, I found you beautiful, right from the start. And then I looked at your pictures, and they were so they were not like you weren't marketing yourself, you were revealing yourself in a really beautiful way and i remember the variety of your pictures and there was one julie did this thing where she it was a straight on you know headshot and she had one eye closed and i really i thought she was i thought that was hilarious i thought it was brave sexy and just kind of lovely yeah it was showing her personality not like showing off yeah but what it was take notes men yeah what it was is was so interesting i think you were showing your eye makeup weren't you so later i found out that she wasn't goofing she was sort of i'm so good at makeup yeah but that's so julia she has like a binary she's like the most beautiful lovely kind person i've ever met and she's a fierce fashion queen you know the way you guys talk about this i'm like i've had this i've had these experiences

yeah so did either of you think that age gap would be a problem or were you straight away like was it something i think about it to be honest mean, I know all I, and it's sincerely mean, is that all I was looking for was somebody who was sort of socio-culturally similar to me. And I have, as you probably hear, I'm tired of me saying this, but more youthful frames of reference, excuse me, growing up outside of New York City and then living in the city, you know, there's a certain urban quality I was looking for. And, you know, women my age are either, you know, mothers, grandparents, and don't have this, didn't have a similar experience. So I knew I wanted to meet someone, and my previous relationship was, you know, not quite an age gap like this like this but it just I sort of veered young for somebody that I could relate to you know and also I think beauty you know has many ages and it wouldn't be a bad you know byproduct of you know so that was my my thing

how about you for me I just didn't think it was a big deal like i didn't realize we would be ever doing a podcast about it you know yeah yeah after we started posting about our relationship online i realized that people think it's like a big thing like most people do and i just didn't like i was like oh just whatever yeah but i think it was just me because everybody else seems to think yeah it's a big deal and now here you are yeah that is i suppose a good point isn't it because like age is such a thing with everyone but yeah yeah why no i was like i think it's where you're from as well i think age oh i agree in england it's more of a thing yeah it is i don't know yeah maybe maybe it's because i'm foreign but then also i think it depends on like what so like when women go for younger right it's more of a thing when then when they're younger women maybe bats an eyelid yeah yeah again another reason why

you know what i think people are unused to seeing is an age gap relationship that didn't appear transactional. You know what I mean? It isn't transactional. But with younger women and older men, everybody always sort of unconsciously assigns, not everybody, but, you know, like, oh, well, he must be rich. People do that to us, too. Yeah, actually, they do. They think I'm rich and i'm like no i'm not the one with the money yeah i guess it's about your mindset you just have a similar

mindset yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what do you think your biggest similarities are like ways that you're alike and then compared to your differences. That's interesting, yeah. We both love animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think we have very similar opinions about important things. Although we are very different people in the things that matter, I think we're similar. We have the same politics and that kind of stuff. We have pretty similar opinions.

I think we're both very sensitive people like yeah you're really really sensitive and and I am too and I think the gentleness with which we work with each other on that not work it's not work it's just this natural sort of um comfort level with each other with what we feel pain a pain about in the world and what we celebrate with joy and our senses of humor julia is one of the funniest people i've ever met in my life and you wouldn't know you wouldn't know she said you wouldn't know because it's not true no but you are really fun like like you know when we're just being us you know hanging around you're really very funny you're quick and really funny i'm

hilarious mine i'm the jokes i'm the jokes here but that's that's a big thing i think you know and what about differences oh where's where to start i'll wait for you oh i think we we have a different like approach to like our schedule and that's that's a big thing that always comes up because i'm very like i like to wake up very early like get a lot of work done and like I'm a bit like methodic about things yeah it was just funny because like it's usually the older person that is like that yeah yeah but Eileen's a little bit more relaxed and you know she's yeah less worried about things like a bit more chill and I'm a bit like... We balance each other out. Yeah, we're both like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're industrious and you're very, very ambitious and I'm neither of those things. I mean, pretty much that's true, wouldn't you say? Yeah. I mean, probably to my detriment in my lifetime, which is why I'm the poor one, but you know, it's what it is, Connie. Donations. You know, it's what it is, kind of. Donations.

I feel like opposites always do attract, though, in ways that you're actually in traits like that. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you've got very similar, like, morals and values, but then, like, you're just, like, a bit different. Match-taking, not wanting to find. You know, when I've read, like, people talk about relationships, like, during the the Trump era

sadly we're still in where I'll read a woman writing a letter to the New York Times my husband's a Republican and he's voting for Trump and I can't stand him I think he's you know

the evil the evilest person how do they survive a marriage? yeah well I saw something I mean because your moral you know your compass yeah

that gives you the core of who you are when you believe in things like that. Yeah, without judging either of them, you know, it's sort of like, how do you reconcile that? We are just beautifully aligned in our, like Julia's knowledge about like political stuff, you know, because Brazil is really a different place. Like you know a lot. And then different place like you you know a lot

and then what you don't already know you can make a decision about and it's always in line with what I think is a beautiful worldview you know so what do you guys do like what's a day in your life summed up in one so I work with social media and I make music as well yeah so although it doesn't seem like that's something that would take a lot of work it actually does so yeah I work a lot so I'm always either editing or filming a video or writing a script or writing music or at the music studio like always up to something yeah yeah and I work from home so that's good because even when I'm like very busy with work we can still be yeah right

together but I'm like always busy and I'm a bit obsessed with it so like I'll work yeah really long hours and stuff yeah obviously we're celebrating pride month this is our episode so pride month so do you you two have any queer like icons that you kind of look up to or anything like that for me i think rupal i just yeah i just he's just yeah he's she he i mean he i think he goes by he when he's not not in drag yeah yeah she only when she's in drag yeah yeah exactly yeah thank you yeah i love rupaul because of all the visibility and you know she started um doing drag so many years ago when he wasn't socially acceptable and has been like fighting for the community for so long so yeah i

really appreciate that a lot yeah yeah i have two friends well two one of my exes was very good friends with the producers world of wonder the people who do support rupaul and have done for decades now and i met rupaul in new york in like just five seconds like you know and my friends uh my my ex's friends flat in the east village this is before their careers took off and before RuPaul took off. And look at him now. Look at her now, you know. Anyway, Gay Icons, Janelle Monae. She's, her latest video. The one that she's wearing like the trousers that look like a vajayjay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wait till you see the one the the new one it's really really something but that's a good question because now we can point to different people yeah you know when you were

coming out did you have any queer icons then or is it well that's funny i thought of um uh what's her name martina never tolova she was a czech czech american tennis player a major one of the best you know athlete female athletes of all time and she was a lesbian and um you know but I can't think of anybody else you know and so we all loved Martina still do you know but yeah it's funny like a tennis it would come through a world of sport you know what I mean but now there's all you know gay people everywhere yeah there's all you know gay people everywhere yeah there's yeah you're right it's just in every even in like all the tv shows that i want but i just love it like yeah yeah um eric from sex education sex education yeah have you guys seen

that oh julie you've seen oh yeah yeah that's really good but then it also hits on like really hard hitting stuff as well like euphoria yeah euphoria yeah yeah yeah there's just so much out there yeah rue in that she's great yeah yeah yeah love it all so now we're gonna play missus and missus to to see how well Julia and Eileen know each other. I'm going to ask a series of questions and you're going to tell me who's more likely to do it. Or Julia or Eileen. So who is the cleanest? They got it right by saying Eileen.

One point. Okay. Who's the most enthusiastic? Julia's gone Eileen and Eileen's gone Julia. I think you're enthusiastic. I am, yeah, yeah. But I was thinking in terms of all the work you do, that requires a certain level of excitement.

Both are like in general, I think you're enthusiastic. We lost the point anyway. Enthusiastically change it to Eileen. Exactly. There it goes. Okay. Both of you. We love the point anyway. Enthusiastically change it to Ali. Exactly. There it goes. Okay. Who is better with their finances? Both gone Julia straight away.

No hesitation. For the podcasters out there, we've got a dog. I've just realized. They're not going to have a clue what's going on. There we go. Beverly is a dog. Yeah.

She's like popping there she goes yeah okay next question come on uh okay who is more empathetic oh i'm gonna be yeah i'm sorry both went for both that's very cute yeah that's really really sweet and I think it's true. Is it? Oh, the tissues. Okay. Who is more stubborn? Oh, it's not.

Straight away, both of you. No hesitation there. I love that. Well, I wasn't 100% sure like you. Yeah, I know. I mean, I can understand that, but I think you're pretty fierce but but you're very very sweet about it you know a sweet stubborn yeah yeah yeah

yeah nice okay oh who is most likely to say sorry first oh i think oh first I think I was thinking who the question could be who would find themselves more often in a position having to say sorry oh no i think i'm just more of a pansy do you have a lot of arguments i don't know why i felt that was appropriate no we have a pretty i think evenkeeled relationship but when there's a disagreement i say sorry yeah i think we we talk a lot and a lot of relationships don't communicate a lot i i noticed and if you're going to be honest it does lead to disagreements you know but but fortunately not of the worldview kind you know i get the feeling you're good communicators. Yeah. Easily in a way that it's not offensive.

Yeah, yeah. And Julia is, I mean, I learned from Julia. It's interesting to be older and learn from somebody who's younger about things like communicating, you know? Like to be, I realized I could be really vulnerable with her, you know? And realize like, oh God god I am really shit at that you know what I mean I think it's an older generation because my parents

they're not very good at opening up about feelings and things like that whereas we're generally all over the place we're encouraged to do that which is so good and I think a lot of it's a female thing too and forgive the no slight meant to anybody who's not female but it but women do are more relational yeah or maybe that's a generational

thing for me to say but i but i have found that true you know when i compare the relationships with women and men you know yeah oh that's good to have a good argument as well yeah i like a good It's good to have a good argument as well. Yeah. I like a good argument. Yeah, yeah. We're not like bombastic arguers, would you say? Like, it's usually a meaty topic, you know what I mean? So it's not like, I hate you.

You're an ugly wench. She come up with that one a bit too quickly. I feel like I already know the answer to this one. Who is most likely to dress up for Halloween? Woo! I said Julia. I'm loving the pink hair. I was like, I can see you in.

I'm always dressed up for Halloween. What's your best Halloween outfit? Oh. What's your favourite? I don't know. Oh, I was Buzz Lightyear. Oh, that's so cute. Did you have the whole space no it was like slutty both of them nice of course i was thinking oh i didn't meet you in his base suit

oh no it was just pink unfortunately yeah that ruined it no i change it sometimes but it's been pink for a while now yeah i like the pink one you look oh i love the pink yeah yeah i wish it would grow pink so you didn't have to like oh no it's the most it's so annoying yeah but what i love that slutty slutty i think i might have to need a photo of that i want to go slutty buzz light, yeah. Buzz, slutty buzz. Okay, who is most likely to give up on an argument?

Arlene, straight in there with Julia. I don't know. Yeah, I guess, yeah. I think so. It's not like you give up, but you'll see the point if you feel it's just you. Yeah, probably me, yeah. I think so. It's not like you give up, but you'll cede the point if you feel it's just you. Yeah, probably me, yeah. But I do think we both, I mean, tell me if you think I'm wrong,

but I think we both negotiate that thing that always comes up in human communication where there are just impasses that can't be, maybe in that moment, know yeah uh mastered you know i feel like this might be a hard one who's most likely to bring home a stray animal oh my god that's so funny oh that's hilarious well julia in brazil she would bring home stray animals weren't you like a kid you know oh no no i didn't bring them home but i did volunteer volunteer work yeah for rescue yeah as a kid as a kid yeah

okay so who is most likely to cry during a sad movie oh julia i mean yeah yeah yeah i don't watch some things because i know i'll cry you know but julia like if she cried at a you know a buttload of a busload of sheep she's gonna be crying in a lot of movies i've got a movie to cry if i watch a sad film yeah interesting i've heard people say that yeah to get your emotions out yeah yeah because you spend the whole day like a zombie Normally I can't feel anything. My emotions are switched off until I put on Billy Elliot or something. Right, exactly. That's such a random choice, but fair play. I said, because it's a kid and it just gets my heart.

Oh God, I should hear you. Okay, who is most likely to get arrested? Oh. Oh. Eileen, both Eileen. A favorite topic. What have you been doing oh well

haven't I done what was that well haven't I done yeah I've gotten in trouble have you actually been arrested before yeah yeah we're not going to go into that story it's on the channel.

It's not anymore? Oh, it's not. No, I got arrested when I moved. I've moved back and forth from New York, L.A. to London and back and thereabouts. And I had rented a car one time, and it was like a two-week rental or something. At this stage, it wasn't. So it was pre-social media or pre-e or something. And I called at this stage. It wasn't so it was pre social media or pre pre easy contact. And I called somebody and it was just the person that worked in the particular location that I rented the car.

And I said, you have my bank card. They were called bank cards. You know, I'm going to keep the card. I keep the card, keep the car a couple more weeks if that's OK. So they did that. But then when they tried to charge my card, keep the card, keep the car a couple more weeks, if that's okay. So they did that. But then when they tried to charge my card, I didn't have sufficient funds. So they reported the car as missing. So and then a warrant was out for my arrest for that.

And so I had an open warrant for 14 years. Well, yeah. And then we went to america together when we arrived there my first time ever in america she gets arrested at the airport so the open warrant yeah and julia had didn't know a person in america you know it was really dramatic yeah what did you say yeah i had to like bail her out get a lawyer and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. We learned to argue from that.

What a trip to America that was. No, it was really, really tragic. I mean, it was a really... Yeah, we're laughing about it now, but... Yeah, it was really, really tragic. It was crazy. And I was in jail for two nights. You know, one of the things we did was we landed in New Jersey

instead of New York City. And because it was a weekend, it was a Thursday night, or I can't remember Thursday or Friday. They couldn't call the courts to say, what should we do with this person has an open warrant. Usually, if it were New York City, they could say, Oh, just let her go. And she's got to come back report back Monday. You know, so they, and just the way jails work, my God, they don't work. They barely function. I ended up being literally in jail for two days and it was really, really awful.

Yeah, I can imagine. I can imagine, yeah. Yeah, and Julia got, you know, was behind the scenes. We couldn't communicate. Yeah, I get your one phone call that I'm imagining you did on one of those days. Yeah, but it's not like america uh i mean not like the films tv you know you don't you're not like i need to talk to my lawyer like they don't even come and see you they just throw you in a room with a blanket they it's yeah it's bizarre because they didn't give me any information either like i

kept calling them and i didn't even know like which jail she was at it's horrible it's horrible like yeah i had no idea where she was and then when I finally found out where she was like she didn't have money in her like jail account to call me yeah and then I was trying to transfer money but then they didn't accept like a UK bank account with a bank card so I couldn't send him off it was a crazy thing and I kept calling them like every five minutes they even like knew who I was when they picked up the phone. Basically yeah. That's mental.

Oh it was really I mean it's a savage you know thing to enter the prison system and that was just the jail you know like so for people who it's really really something it gave me a real insight into well don't do bad things yeah but it's funny it did you know it wasn't your fault baby well it was i mean in this is you know with julie and i had had talks about it in a way that sounded yeah yeah a bit i mean i planned to address it when we landed so it was thursday night because I was going to go into the courts Friday morning. And I spoke with somebody at the, the clerk at the court about it. But because it was New Jersey, it just, it's just one of those things, you know what I mean? And boy, did that blow up in social media. And, you know, like, suddenly, I was somebody that, you know, oh, it was, it was terrible. But

then we had a lot of support to, you know, social media can be, you know, it was terrible. But then we had a lot of support, too. You know how social media can be, you know, both supportive and lacerating at the same breath. So isn't that funny? So who's more likely to be in jail? I can't believe they've said that. Julia would never. Julia's the kind of person, and this was a stressor for us around this issue, Julia would never do anything wrong. us around this issue julia would never do anything wrong like she would if there were water sitting there and she hadn't asked anybody would she whether she was dying of thirst she would just be like yeah like she's really really a real rule follower yeah because i have like anxiety

so i'm really by the book and never want to like do anything wrong or like annoy anybody yeah i'm the exact same as that that's crazy we're focused on the age for we should have focused on the jailbird i mean the jailbird but julia has trouble now watching tv shows where there's like prison stuff and everything because that's how sensitive she is yeah and i feel bad about that okay who is most likely to plan a date julia what kind of date would you go for oh probably like dinner and then go to the cinema nice oh yeah yeah yeah we have lovely times doing that yeah we even bring our own butter butter oh my god sorry it says no more conversation i'm imagining you whack out a

so in america and in brazil we have like buttered popcorn and the cinema yeah but here you don't like sweet and salty yeah or salty so So then we bought melted butter. Bring out your mind. You did actually bring your own butter. We did. Yeah. And it was messy. Yeah, I can imagine. We were watching the previews. No, no, just once. And then we realized it wasn't really.

Yeah. How did you melt it? Just with your hands? In the microwave. Before you went? No, yeah, before we went. There's so many questions. Yeah, yeah, no. Oh, that was really fun. And then we were in the dark, pouring the butter. And it was soggy as shit.

Well, God loves to try us. She gave it a go. That's so funny. Who is most likely to embarrass themselves? Eileen. I said Eileen. I don't know. I know. You're so kind.

But like earlier with the dog. She's like, yeah, you. Like earlier with the dog. Before we got here, Julia's like, now, Eileen, listen, when we go in, don't refer the dog. Don't do anything. Just be quiet about the dog. At the reception, she put her bag on the desk and said, oh, can you take the dog don't do anything just be quiet about the reception she put her bag on

the desk and said oh can you take the dog please seriously and the look i got i was like no why don't you hand me hand me the dog and the receptionist is like yeah why don't you hand the dog but julia looked at me like and i was like oh fuck i said it the dog piece but julia looked at me like okay so now we're gonna play a bit of never have i ever back to uni day i haven't played this in a good while um but with tea so british it's a new style that we've invented so yeah so we're gonna say something never have i ever and then we all drink or whoever drinks if they've done it never have i ever ghosted someone oh yeah you have oh she's remembering look at this actually no i haven't got oh sorry

everyone's slowly drinking trying to remember if they have you have you all have yeah yeah yeah um yeah savage savage i'm not um i i would say i'm not proud of it but they weren't nice men so no to be fair I have as well you have to drink as well no? no because I've said it drink go tea never have I ever

kissed a boy everyone's drinking Never have I ever kissed a boy. Everyone's drinking. Back in the day. When I was coming up. What were your feelings after? I was throwing up. It was disgusting. Probably thanks to me to be back.

That's true. Oh, my turn. Oh, never have I ever kissed a girl my mommy you should have said never have I ever made out with a girl never have I ever gone to a strip club oh you know I haven't I tried but they didn't let me in

because um we were like i was with my friends and nightly and because we were all women and they were like oh no yeah yeah they wanted to lend let the men in who have more money you know it's like we are all queer like we're going to ship as well but then yeah they didn't let us in yeah isn't that something yeah that was part of our um our bachelorette night yeah well we say in america bachelorette hindu yeah isn't that funny we're in total and we've been called before to ask if it was okay and they said it was oh yeah oh that's right but then when we arrived they didn't let us in you know what's funny is i get really enraged by that. But then when you're trying to get into a club and men can't get in,

but we can, I'm like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because pelotas really are, it's a reverse sexism, isn't it? The pretty one there, get her in. Yeah. When it works in my favor, I'm like, yes. Yeah, yes. I've been to a sex show i went to an amsterdam section like

you watched a sex show was it like a sex club no it was literally like you were in theater and then like yeah live acts on stage yeah wow wow yeah wow and they'll just yeah they brought up people actually they think they didn't bring up people yeah they like oh my god just like put props on them like doing something like big dildos yeah excuse me can i put the 12 foot strap on you see you're falling asleep thank you i want to go back to amsterdam yeah i'm gonna go back as well lots of experience go yeah i'm learning i haven't lived a life. Well, you can smoke weed pretty much anywhere now, but you can smoke weed and go to sex shows. Yes! And ride a bicycle.

What are we doing sitting here drinking tea? Let's go! Oh, but it's so sizzling! We're going to the airport anyway, so we're just going to go. Never have I ever stolen something. airport anyway so never have i ever stolen something oh i was a candy thief as a kid that's exactly what i did did yeah yeah i mean i wasn't really but i mean you know a couple times you know yeah i was like okay yeah milky way looks really good yeah. My friends made me do it and then I got really upset. Oh, really?

I cried. And then I put it back the next day. Oh, honestly. Now that's a moral core. And you know what? That's been a running theme throughout my life because twice my friends have tried to dine and dash. Have you ever heard of that? Yes.

And I've stayed behind and paid the bill by myself. Oh, poor thing. That's really nice. Because I actually was a member of a group. This friend of mine in college was a musician. And we were at a gig. And there was a whole big table in front of her, in front of the stage. And I don't know how I was part of this.

Because I normally wouldn't do something like that. You know, I don't mind getting around on things sometimes. But it ended up my table left. And it was my friend's gig you know and she got in trouble for it you know it's not it was i feel terrible about it you know to the to this day yeah you know i mean night yeah you sweet thing every time there's police sirens going past me, I feel like they're coming for me. Because I didn't pay for my pizza. Now, what was your saving story? I don't have a song, I think. I'm an angel.

Julia does citizens' arrests. I'm too anxious for that. Put that candy back. Never have I ever cheated. Oh, we also do. We're good people. Yeah, yeah. It's because we're women.

We wouldn't do that. Never have I ever been cheated on. You see the pattern here, guys? I think we all need some shots in our teeth. Yeah. Let's make it Irish. Never have I ever had sex in public. That was going to be one of mine.

I was going to send this to my mum. What? This was hers. Now tell us oh my god on every single specific day did anyone drink over here no because we're women yeah right can you put your legs in from ear? Yeah. And I'll dive between your legs. They're gonna have to censor so much of it.

Fuck no! Never have I ever slept with a friend's partner. She's really out here. She's really out here. I'm getting granular on this sex stuff. A friend no no i think so that's the thing though i mean in social media i'm like oh my best friend slept with my husband of 50 years you know yeah and i'm like what the

fuck let's just clickbait that's what we're going to caption this video um no but then there is that debate i was having a debate with someone recently and someone was like but if you if you know love happens where love happens but then i'm like no i'm too much of a jealous person to handle that situation i think but well it's it's a terrible trust betrayal you know if they want to get together and have a hundred million babies and everything good for them. But it's hard to forgive betrayal, isn't it? It really is. Yeah.

Okay. Anyone got another one? You got any more? Oh, yeah. Give me time here. Never have I ever masturbated at work. Oh, my God. Eileen, this is our job.

We're on the job. If I did, you'd want to leave pretty quick. Oh, actually, excuse me. I actually didn't know that. Oh my God. What? Not at all. She's working here.

Shit. Sometimes you just need to get it out of the way. Sometimes you gotta push one out. Push one out? That's a different vibe. I'm dying. And it didn't concentrate so I was like, you know what, I'm going to the bathroom. Rachel, it was the bathroom.

Oh. Yeah. Oh, my God. It was fun. I imagine you're at the desk. Like rubbing up against the... Oh, stop it. Rubbing up against the phone cord. Oh, my God. Oh, this phone cord.

Stop it. No, don't describe it. No, I didn't use a phone cord. I just have a good imagination there. No, mine was in the bathroom. It was like, fuck, somebody's coming in. Oh, no, stop it. Stop it.

This must be the busy hour. Where did you work? In an office. Oh, I'm working up a sweat here. Oh, it's hot in here. Beverly just innocently. She's like, what? It's a weird juxtaposition of a little dog.

No, it's true though, I'd forgotten about it. I must've been bored that day. You wanna know the truth? You wanna know the truth? No, no, no. I'm not gonna tell you. No, I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you. No, you don't.

I gotta tell you. No, it's a really interesting thing. I had a dream about Tom Cruise the night before. I woke up really horny, I think. Tom Cruise? Tom fucking Cruise. I can't stand him. What's going on?

God, I don't know. I was younger then. But it's the truth. I really, really, I don't know. It's like I couldn't shake it. I can't get Tom Cruise out of my head. I'm just going to get in the truth. I really, really, I don't know. It's like I couldn't shake it. I can't get Tom Cruise out of my head. I've just got to get in the bathroom. I've got to break out of this meeting if you don't mind.

Got an appointment with the turtle. Oh, boy. You're never ever going to be able to watch a Tom Cruise movie. Yeah, it's true. And the chances are that we would. It's pretty nil anyway. We're not Top Gun people. I love a bit of Top Gun.

Yeah. Just to end the combo there. Thank you so much for joining. We won't be playing Spill the Tea this week as we've already spilt much tea. But thank you for joining us also. Can we follow your story or your social media accounts anywhere yes please my youtube channel Julia Zelg and has lots of videos about our story and lots of vlogs

of our wedding and all that kind of stuff and I also have music on Spotify yeah and new music coming out we shot a video yesterday oh yeah we have a music video featuring Aileen so that's fun that's a first yeah yeah

first in yeah exactly yeah yeah so if you have any stories that you would like us to share please send them

to t at four at jungle creations dot com and of course happy pride woo woo woo

god I'm sweating man