Tea at Four - Ep 28: Rylan Clark Spills The Tea On Our Exes, His Secret Hobbies And What Has Been Mugging Him Off

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

Hi, and welcome to Tea at Four! A podcast series by Four Nine, where Christie, Ellie and Scott talk about all things that should have stayed in the group chat- your icks, picks and hot takes. This week Christie, Ellie and Scott are joined by the iconic Rylan Clark. He reveals how their exes rated their relationship and sex life (Christie’s did NOT hold back) and they probe him on some of his secret hobbies… Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@four.nine

what do you think your ex thinks is your best physical trait my boobs your boobs yeah well i can tell you your ex's exact words was my wig is i'm getting hot i need to take my wig off hi guys welcome back to tf4 i'm christy i'm ellie i'm rylan and i'm scott and this is the podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in the group chat and today we have rylan it's so nice to be here thank you for anyone who don't know who i am i just got lucky like 11 years ago and now i'm rich no but honestlyland, tell the viewers who you are, what you do, and why you're so amazing.

So 11 years ago, I was on a show called X Factor. I finished fourth or fifth, I can't remember now. Third, second, first. And then I went into Celebrity Big Brother, won it, ended up hosting on it for seven years.

And now I think I've hosted every show on TV. Yeah, what have you done? And I'm on my third set of tea. Woo! I'm so excited to have you here and ready to spill all the teas, right? Hell yeah. Always.

I mean, I'm always spilling. We've been doing our research. Oh. Yeah. Google's a cruel mistress. Not even Google. We are good friends with your ex-manager. Don't trust him. Have you seen the shoes he wears never trust a man that wears them shoes i mean they they look quite

it's giving nhs oh maybe gout shout out to that big shout out to Nads shoes. Big shout out to Nads shoes. We love you Nads. No, I miss him dearly. I love him. But he's given us a bit of like tea on you. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to get gossip on me,

he's the one. Like, I'm really shouldn't because he signed an NDA. But at least now I can sue him. I'm so sorry. So like, what do you guys want to, you know, dish out on Ryland, guys? Well, I've got one to start. I hear you're an avid plane spotter. I actually am.

I'm not going to get laid again. Yeah, put that as a tip. It's actually on my hinge. Yeah, no, I don't know what it is. I've always been obsessed with planes. I've always wanted to be a pilot. I'm not a frustrated pilot. And Nads, where he used to live,

he used to basically live under the Heathrow runway path. Under the flight path. Yeah, literally, full-on flight path. And we'd just be sat there and I'd be like, oh, that's an Embraer 190, British Airways. And he'd be like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, no, I don't know. Babe, I'm not on it yet.

I don't know. Who's going to Heathrow? It's Andy. You're getting on the you oh no I don't know babe I'm not on it I don't know he was going to Heathrow he was landing I have got flight radar on my phone though I thought like with a compass you could like tell which direction

it would be going in I knew where it was going it was landing at Heathrow darling yeah it was going down the road the wheels were out or it's landing on the M25 one of the two

I was intrigued because my dad used to be a plane mechanic and i really sat on the roof of a car and watched the last concorde takeoff that's lovely that's actually lovely to be fair it was a really cute day out no i would have gone i would have gone but no i i want to get myself like a little plane and start flying so you get my picture are you flying yeah that's what I'm singing to so my mum is literally obsessed that you speak Spanish

you were on a programme the other day and you said Marlboro Lights and she literally relined on it four times yeah I mean

Ellie you literally said Marlboro Lights and I was like alright I'm not I wouldn't say I'm like full-on Julio but or his but I um yeah I mean I lived in Spain for a year years ago used to be in a boy band yeah so I just sort of just learned how to speak Spanish really yeah I can say everything yeah a bit of with a fork so we were

um but yeah I've like yeah I'm very good in directions in Spanish yeah I watched a video though if you were in the boy band that's literally one on YouTube I thought I'd had but yeah I'm very good in directions in Spanish yeah I watched a video though of you and the boy band that's literally one on YouTube I thought I'd had them removed Nads

I thought they'd all been brought down but clearly not I know I did a bit of digging but it was very entertaining I can't lie

I was dancing along in my bedroom to be fair I mean listen we did the hits you know I can't listen to a Take That

or Westlife song now without doing the harmony we were thinking of doing our know, I can't listen to a Take That or Westlife song now without doing the harmony. Really? We were thinking of doing our own little... I'm all right for today. Oh, damn it. Oh, my God.

I was looking forward to that. What I did is that, because I'm a water connoisseur, right? Oh, I am. And I heard that you only drink Evian. Yeah, I'm a bit weird with water. I can taste water. You're like me. Can you taste Scottish water?

I'm like, that's Highland Spring taste water you're like me can you taste Scottish water I'm like that's Ireland spring oh my gosh babe right smart water tastes like like batteries medicine oh my gosh Ryland you understand

oh you understand Evian Evian I don't know why Evian's an hour I've not got a sponsorship deal I'll never know but Evian's the only water I drink

wherever I am in the world I'm like I'm sorry it's got to be Evian obviously if I'm dying on a desert island, I'll drink piss. But I literally, I was up a mountain not long ago in Scotland with Emma Willis and Oti Mabuse. And there was like this stream.

And it was like a freshwater stream. It's like you could drink from it. And they were like, go and drink from it. Anyway, so I tried it. And I was like, oh my God, it's proper Scottish water. I can taste, it's almost metallic-y. Like, I don't know what it is,

the taste that I get. And the girls just think I'm lying. They're like, you can't taste water. I'm like, if you put three glasses of water in front of me, one of them's Highland Spring, one of them's Evian,

and one of them's like, Volvic. Volvic is disgusting. Volvic is gross. I will sit there and go, Volvic, Highland Spring, Evian.

I can taste water. It's just my thing. I don't ask for anything, but Evian, that's it. Great people drink Evian. Just saying water It's just my thing I don't ask for anything But Evian that's it Great people drink Evian Just saying guys Livian

Evian Voilà Le français s'est sorti Bonjour Comment ça va Livian Evian And do you know Evian backwards

Is naive Oh And Velvet backwards Is Sivlov Sivlov Yeah we don't want that No I'm happy to be naive

Alright so this is the segment Where we talk about The things that have Civ love. Yeah, we don't want that. No. I'm happy to be naive. All right, so this is the segment where we talk about the things that have mugged us off this week. So I'm sure we've had an eventful week. The sun was blazing. A lot has happened. So I've got ghosted again this week. Oh.

Yeah. It's making no occurrence at this point. Are we talking spirits or men? A bit of both, I think. Oh, okay, yeah. What happened? So, basically, I'm on a dating app. What one?

So, Bumble. I think I should change the hinge because everyone seems to be on hinge at the moment. Yeah, I don't mind a bit of hinge. Well, you're on hinge? Yeah. You're not on Bumble? No, I'm not on Bumble.

So, I'm going on hinge, basically. You ain't going to get no luck with me. Wrong tree, barking, something like that. So, yeah, I was talking to him throughout the week. gone unhinged basically you ain't gonna get no luck with me wrong tree barking something like that so yeah was talking to him throughout the week

was going really well actually gave him my number which never happens because very current sending voice notes or actually on a good vibe

it's going very well he messaged me in the morning he's like morning beautiful I'll get back to you later nothing did later come later

did not come and it's always on a friday always on a friday the weekend comes god knows what it gets up on the weekend who is he i'm gonna go it's called jack starts with a j as well so it's always the ones that start with j i've got a thing with letters as well. Yeah. Yeah. I've always been like J and D's. D's Dan. No. I absolutely fucking agree with that. Absolutely agree with that. Yeah, fun name.

Yeah, I'm not fun of a Dan either. No, same. There we go. J's and Dan's. Don't go there. But that's what's mugged me off. Her words, not mine. I'm so sorry, Ellie'm so sorry I'm sorry that

that happened no it's honestly just but you're a really pretty girl how old are you I'm 24 oh babe you've got

your whole two years ahead of you before you need to settle down no I'm good I'm good you'll be fine I'll be fine

yeah I know why is everyone looking at me I'm good I get it it's not nice it's not nice it's not nice no but I feel like

I'm dating straight men like I've just got a date yeah no babe listen you'll be alright no no I'll be fine there's plenty more

I've got a blind date on Friday another one another one blind date yeah what happened what do you mean what happened

I thought you meant he was blind no I'm joking is that why you got the date no I'm joking Another one? Blind date, yeah. What happened? What do you mean, what happened? I thought you meant he was blind. No, I'm joking. Is that why you got the date? No, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm totally joking. Do you know what? That's exactly what my brother said to him. Whatever you said, my family said before.

What do you know about him? Who set you up? It's like a blind date agency. I'm sorry, what, Scylla? A blind date agency? I didn't know there were still agencies. Yeah. It's not an escort.

Are you paying any money? No, because I just post on my social media and then they just set me up on dates. But they've met me, they've met this person, and they're like, yeah, you're going to get on. Apparently he's a bit cheeky, a lot of bit cheek, so. Oh. Cheek's out on the first date.

Wow. Fingers crossed. Hopefully. Well, good luck Thanks Can you update me Because I'm actually Invested in this story

Yeah I'll update you Of course You shouldn't be Mugged off at all Exactly Getting yourself a badge Exactly Yeah there's always

Next Friday I'm trying to She's got a team Working on it Apparently A crack team Yeah So Ryland

What has mugged you Off this week Animals Especially insects Insects I've been in Italy For the last three weeks Yeah I cracked him. So Ryland, what has mogged you off this week? Animals, especially insects. Insects. I've been in Italy for the last three weeks. Yeah. I've been bitten places, I shouldn't have.

I basically had a third leg, for want of a better term, on the side of my thigh. I literally, I was in Italy and, you know, I'll get like the odd bite and stuff like that. And I'm like, oh yeah, you know, you just expect it. You can spray yourself with whatever. One night I knew I had to be up at six in the morning because I had a really early shoot day

and we didn't finish till midnight. So I was like, you have to sleep. Simple as that. All the windows were shut in this hotel room, beautiful hotel. I got into bed and you know when you know, something here. Yeah. Something here. I'm going'm gonna ignore it i'm trying to go to sleep got kath and kim on on the ipad i'm gonna try and go to sleep and try and go to sleep and then i could just feel

like what was it just like no and i'm like right right where is it lights on four o'clock in the morning it bit me under my arm it bit me in a personal space and it bit me on the side of my thigh and it literally looked like the o2 and i've still got the remnants forehead can you see it i really can't i can't i've got a lot of makeup on but look it was there oh yeah yeah peeking through I had one there one there and one there I literally looked like a gay devil

it was horrendous so insects fuck off violence yeah I know I had a fluff a fluff a moth

flying to my knickers the other day wait wait wait you sure the moth didn't fly out you and that's been a while how does Brian know it's been a while

couple of bats a Hulk pretty much yeah it flew into my fucking nicks I was sat on the toilet I literally wrapped like some

I was getting toilet roll and literally the moth just flew out and went straight into my fucking nicks I was sat on the toilet can we swap my gosh

just like shuffle over this way a bit does it catch? Does it spread? No, it's okay. We'll figure it out later. But yeah, insects have mugged me off this last couple of weeks. Yeah, fair.

I want them all dead. Yeah, no, that's fair. I like Greenpeace on the phone now. What about you? Right. Well, I mean, SZA's been performing in the country recently. No, SZA, the artist, the country recently no SZA the artist right

went to see her at a concert I'm a very very big fan alright and do you know who SZA is I don't think I keep saying this to people no one knows who she is

I don't know I'm just I'm supporting you Kill Bill that song oh I might kill my ex I didn't know her name

was like oh SZA S-Z-A oh I've seen that written down yes oh my god that's how i'm a fucking dj this is embarrassing s-z-a scissor right so i'm a very big fan i was there obviously i'm crying my eyes out like yeah like i was in an actual mess and there was people taking

photos of me afterwards my boyfriend was like yeah you do know Scott like those people you were talking to at the start of the concert they were like taking pictures of you laughing at you

I'm gonna be on TikTok somewhere boy with curly hair crying at Scissor like because it wasn't just like a little like cry either I was wailing where was you?

in the O2 yeah so I was literally standing as well everyone around me I was literally standing as well everyone around me and I was literally just like that's fair though

I think that's nice yeah I know but the fact that I got filmed I'm a bit embarrassed now what day did you go it was on Saturday

oh my sister we're asking yeah see if she's got some videos on her phone of a crying boy it'll be me is that actually

your sister taking the phone yeah you had to like I know that guy yeah exactly yeah no but that's normal I did it at Harry Styles

I got my tits out at Harry Styles tits out oh how lovely did a moth fly out and you're still single I know my selling point

tits and vagina tits and vagina yeah but moths in your vagina though yeah that's the issue balance I'm never gonna live it off am i now so i've been filming my new show sex rated which i sort of just had like a life change moment a couple of years ago where i my relationship ended and i was like you know what yeah come and let's

have a go so the whole point of the show is people will come on the show and we talk about their sex life and i will ask people things like how do you rate your oral skills out of 10 how do you rate your orgasm out of 10 how do you rate um certain things it's all different for each person but like quite deep yeah one of the better and then once they give me their ratings we then get a collection of their exes to also rate them and as you can imagine some of the ratings aren't what they thought they were gonna get but it's not a horrible thing there are some jaw-dropping moments but i then have a residence expert called called Ruby who's amazing and she basically says right well you're shit at oral let's teach her how to suck a dick oh she actually does it herself like she

got a prop oh yeah like a banana but that there I mean at one point I did question myself when I'm standing in my studio and a sex swing comes down and I'm like right and then there was a penetration machine just doing that I did get a goodie bag at the end of it though and I'll never masturbate the same again

okay so we have sent some surveys out right i hope everyone's really excited about this so we've sent out some surveys and our exes are gonna rate us and we're gonna get rylan to read it all out yeah but there is a reason of course there is a reason for this so on my new show what we do is we literally sex rate you. So we rate how good you are at sex. It's literally that simple. So how it's worked, all of your exes have been given a survey and they're about to rate you of how they thought you'd done at certain things.

But before we find out what they think, I'm going to see what you think about yourself. And then we'll compare. How's that sound, girls? Sorry, mum. Okay, so, Christy, you're up first. All right. Who broke up with who?

Probably me, because I'm an overthinker. Well, your ex said she broke up with me, but I'd already checked out. up with me but i'd already checked out next question how long ago was this wow let's let's go okay yeah let's get it do you think you treated them well yeah i'm a nice person always always. Yeah? Yeah. Till the end? Till the very, yeah, till the very end. Well, your ex said, absolutely. Oh, okay.

It was going so well until the third year. Then everything went downhill. What's going on? I was so nice to this guy. This is brutal. How much bring up sending him the survey? Was she just like, oh, I'm just like. How much do you miss him out of 10?

Seven. Seven. Well, that's not bad because your ex is a good eight. Oh, okay. But that's because she is nasty. Oh. What? No.

Please keep going. Oh, no, it gets better. Trust me. This gets better, trust me This gets better How do you think your ex rated your personality out of 10? 10 out of 10, come on It's a match, it's a 10 out of 10 What do you think your ex thinks is your best physical trait?

Oh No, I don't really laugh it My boobs thinks is your best physical trait? Oh. No, I don't really laugh it. My boobs. Your boobs? Yeah. Well, I can tell you your ex's exact words was, let me suck them titties, baby.

My wig is, I'm getting hot. I need to take my wig off. I'm just going to repeat that one more time. For everyone who didn't hear. Let me suck them titties, baby. I think we should get this guy in. Oh my God. How do you think your ex out of 10 thought you were sexually compatible? By the sounds of it.

It has to be a high rating, right? You think a high rating? Yeah. Well, your ex said, I can't remember. But, if she wants to get my memory going, she should call me.

I'm actually speechless. I mean, I don't think it's a bad reply. No, it's not. But I will take away suck them titties, baby. Well done, you. My wig is hot, guys. I will take it off.

Yeah. My wig's hot as well. And not my upstairs one. Was you expecting that? No. What was you expecting? Just that nice, you know, friendly, not... Wow.

You can only think about titties now, can't you? Yeah, I know. I'm going to get them resized. How about that reduced? No, you've got lovely tits. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I... Wow.

I'm bamboozled. Will you be calling him? No. He could call me. Is he blocked now? No, he's not blocked, but... Oh, okay. I could drop a cheek Is he blocked now? No, he's not blocked, but... Oh, okay. I could drop a cheeky WhatsApp message.

One of them. Wow, I'm in shock. Well, well done, babe. You didn't do too bad. Yeah, he did. That wasn't bad. Well done on your breasts. Right, next up is Ellie.

Okay, Ellie. Mine's probably a bit bit vanilla that's what i've been told who broke up with who he broke up with me but i was also going to break up with him at the same time he said i initiated but it was mutual well done um do you think you treated him well do i think i treated him well? Do I think I treated him well? Yeah, I think I was all right. You did? Yeah, I was at uni at the time, so. Well, he said, while we were dating, yes. While we were dating?

Although I could have maybe been nicer about the breakup. That's true. Thank you. Honesty, honesty. Well done, Miss Policy. What do you think he liked the least about your relationship? I don't know. I think I'm great.

I'm a cat. You think it was the muffin you needed. Maybe my TikToks. It's not. What is it? Your tendency to leave the keys in the front door oh shit yeah I did that a lot

oh my god murderers are around Ellie what are you doing bitch I said not in them as well oh I would have divorced you there Christ

how much do you think they miss you out of 10 we never speak I haven't spoken to them like literally two years so i wouldn't even know i'm gonna go for a free four do you know what you said i'm not gonna answer sorry oh the silence is i know honestly i'm not gonna i don't know how to take that he's either pining for you or hates you. Yeah, basically, happy you're gone.

Okay. How do you think he rated your personality out of 10? Hi, I hope. Give me a number. An eight. Ten. Oh, that's nine. But you still leave your keys in the front door.

Yeah. Ten, but the keys are in the front door. I will get you murdered. Yeah. What do you think, but the keys are in the front door. I will get you murdered. Yeah. What do you think he thought was your worst quality? I don't know. It surprised me.

Snoring. I don't fucking snore. I've literally snored in my life. How would you know if you're asleep? Exactly. I don't snore. That's a lie. You're a terrible snorer.

How kinky do you think you thought you were out of ten? It depends what he's been doing since we broke up. Ellie, you all right there? I'm going to go for an eight. Eight? Yes! Wow! Solid eight for a bit of kink there and lastly what do you think he found really annoying

about you but never told you just get really deep he didn't tell me a lot when it actually had to be that it was snoring that's a big thing for him he just didn't tell you you've come out alright I think It was snoring. That's a big thing for him, nothing you don't do. He just didn't tell you.

Yeah. You've come out all right, I think. Yeah. You've come out on stage. I'm nice, yeah. I actually don't even snore. Okay.

Is it on to me now? Scott, you ready? Come on. Okay. Who? Who broke up with who? Me. I broke up with her. Why broke up with her why because right guys i went to give her a kiss in the canteen and she swerved me so i dumped her because she's

frigid frigid because she was frigid yeah i called her frigid and broke up oh how old were you it was year was year 9 oh fair it was year 9 but that was big do you know what she said what did she say Scott broke up with me he said I was too frigid sorry Maisie

what do you think she liked least about the relationship oh I feel like I'm reading my history um oh my god

I don't know I don't think we didn't stay together longer something like that he was friends with too many girls I should have seen it as a sign

yeah she should have seen that as a sign actually is that a sign what if your friends are loads of girls. All my friends are girls.

You like a bit of dick? Yeah. I think it's a giveaway, isn't it? Oh, okay. I mean, not generalising, but, you know, if the boys are playing football and you're doing Spice Girls

by the church for the girls. Yeah, okay. Platting hair on the bench. Yeah. By the church. How much do you think she misses you out of ten? Ten.

Three. I saw him last week. Brought back memories of our relationship. However, this time it was him crying over breakup songs and not me. SZA. She was at SZA with me. She was there. Always comes back to SZA.

Right. How do you think she rated your personality out of 10? 10. Hang on. 10. 10. Got that one right. Yes, Scott.

What do you think she thinks is your best quality? I don't know. My curly hair. Your cooking skills. Oh. However, he never cooked me anything when we were together. I did only learn to cook when I got to uni, so that's fair enough. Out of 10, how sexually compatible does she think you are?

Oh, God. One. That's so weird now. It's actually zero. I'm actually surprised you gave yourself a one. Yeah, exactly. I don't put one to 10, okay?

What do you think she found really annoying about you and never told you? Oh. From your reaction, it's not like it. I don't know you still see this girl right

yeah she's she's literally my best mate now oh yeah okay have I got to ask for words after this or something I honestly

couldn't know what is it he could never annoy me oh and I'm still deeply in love with him oh

amazing woo woo woo woo woo woo does she know yeah I think she knows i think she's yeah i mean that's i'll give her a ring after this fun fact guys i found out that you've got a great a big fan base in pakistan is that correct yeah like there's this weird thing so like about six or about six or seven years ago i was in a tv meeting like with commissioner and his family were from pakistan he was like i've got to tell you

this because you're gonna love this i'm like what basically there's like this area uh like a district i suppose um and the tv channel there bought my series of x factor like bought the rights to it so they showed it yeah everyone was like oh amazing so like there's this whole community that watched this series of x factors they know i was i was like oh that's cool he's like no but it gets better because every single year they play out the same version of X Factor which runs for like

three months oh my god and people all sit there watching it like they've never watched it they're all like yes it's back so every year

I'm on X Factor in Pakistan I love that have you been over I haven't been over yet no I hope they like it you should maybe it'll be like

Rihanna in Barbados like the whole statue you'd be like a god. Yeah. If it gets you another passport. I also heard you've got a mermaid tail. I've got a mermaid tail. Why have I told you that?

Wait, hold on. Mermaid. Is it only when you get wet or is it like you actually like... So this was another lockdown drunk purchase. You sound great in lockdown. I found this company in America that make like body formed mermaid towels with a fin. And I'm lucky enough to have a swimming pool.

And I thought that'd be a laugh. And now I get in my pool and put my body con mermaid towel on and just have a flick of that. If ever there's a drone flying over. What's going on here? It's indoor, thank you. But yeah, I love a little flip about. I think I was a mermaid in a past life.

And weirdly enough, in the early days, my fans were called Sirens. Ryland Sirens. And Siren is like a killer mermaid. There you go then. My mermaid is just... You used to have long hair, didn't you? I did, yeah. Did you go then. Makes sense. My mermaid's just, no. You used to have long hair, didn't you as well?

I did, yeah. Did you have long hair to match the mermaid tail? Well, I mean, I think I'd look beautiful. Yeah, you'd look majestic. Yeah. Like King Triton. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

What about Ab Fab? You was in the Ab Fab movie, wasn't you? I was. So I love Absolutely Fabulous. Yeah, so do I. We went through this on a recent episode right i dressed up with my housemate no my housemate was patsy i was eddie

yeah head to toe denim wig yeah i'm fine with that um yeah we went to this house party and everyone had taken their outfits off by the time we arrived because the house was so hot so in eye roll just like fully dressed up it was very embarrassing no i love i love i always loved that pub and um jennifer got in touch with me when the film was being made was like look i've written you a part you're gonna play a drag queen and like this is the scene anyway the dates matched up with my honeymoon and i was just gutted because i can't do it yeah she was like this is all we can do and i was like look thank you but i just can't can't change anything so i was on honeymoon and then i got back and um i had a phone call again

saying we are filming the very last day of filming yeah um it's a scene on a plane um i can write you in as an air steward do you want to do it i will clean the toilet and i get there and it's me and rebel wilson and it was just like the best day ever and it was so nice because it was the last it was their wrap day of filming so they were finishing the film and my brother's my driver and my sister-in-law came with us as well and we all went to this like airfield and there's me and rebel in like our air steward outfits and jennifer and joanna like as patsy and eddie and the storyline is they're like fleeing the uk because they've killed kate yeah yeah chucked her in the tent basically they get on the plane and

it was just really really funny and they were like they just said to me and rebel just ad lib have a laugh like yeah but all of the passengers on the plane were the cruise friends and family oh that's really nice really nice so it was just a really really special day like just to be there so i bought them both a present of bolly and stolly yeah thank you so yeah it's amazing did you have a little party after? We had a little bit of Bali style We still got my outfit That's so good That's really good So this is the best part of the show

Where we play Don't Spill the Tea Where you spill the tea And we try not to However this time Rylan You'll be reading out some interesting statements And we're going to try and not spill Our tea Well good luck I feel like you can literally say anything you'll be reading out some interesting statements and we're gonna try and not spill our two yeah well good luck i feel like you can literally say anything i know i've read the giggles today so

this is gonna go well i'll see if i can make a normal i'm actually i'm gonna have to spit my water this way yeah it's usually me and the splash load of any as well so yeah good luck are you ready are we all like okay mm-hmm? Mm-hmm. Okay. I mean, we're going deep for the first one, I'm not going to lie. My wife was in a coma following a car accident. Jesus. When I visited her in hospital,

I took the opportunity to squeeze the blackhead on her forehead that had been bugging me for weeks, and she wouldn't let me touch it. It felt so good. That's fair. I love popping up like it. Oh, you've swallowed? Yeah, I was like, I might not be done. No, there's more, darling. There's a bit of feedback for you.

Good to know you swallow. I'll be finished too soon. Oh, it's got swallows down. Okay, we're all swallowers here. Okay, right. I couldn't hold it in. I couldn't hold it in. Next one. soon oh scott swallows down okay okay we're all swallowing here okay right next one whenever i masturbate my cat always lingers around and then when i finish i sometimes let out a little groan every time this happens my cat jumps up to cuddle me as if something is wrong it's really off-putting i've never been into pussy Every time this happens, my cat jumps up to cuddle me as if something is wrong. It's really off-putting.

I've never been into pussy. Oh, oh. She's a squirt. She's a squirt. Wow. Oh, wow. That wasn't from that guy by the way I've just never been into kudzu Oh my god Okay let's fill up

Alright I live in a one bedroom flat And I have to cover up my Henry Hoover When I masturbate Because he's got a strange look in his eyes Give you a good blow though And I have to cover up my Henry Hoover when I masturbate because he's got a strange look in his eyes. Give you a good blow, though. I actually knew somebody who put their willy in the Henry Hoover and literally was nearly genuinely sucked off.

And I mean off. Was it you? Nearly lost a bollock. Oh, my God, what? It's just like... No, why would you? A friend. Allock oh my god what it's just like no why would you? a friend a friend yeah

listen times are hard are we all filled up? I was once asked if it was okay for the guy I was having sex with if he could lick my bum during sex I've never done that before but in that moment I was having sex with if he could lick my bum during sex. I've never done that

before but in that moment I was like yeah you can do what you want. It was down there for a bit and suddenly stopped went a bit sheepish and it all ended quite quickly after that. It wasn't until the next day I realized I had really bad piles and I never saw him again Have you got piles? Why is it so silent over there, Christy? I bet they were the size of your titties Oh my god I bet they were the size of your titties.

And that was that. How would you only realise that the next day? Just like, oh shit. I'd use a towel after that. How could you not know? Literally. Once you're supposed to, you don't I need a towel after that. How could you not know? Literally. I suppose you don't look at your arsehole. Surely before you get licked down there,

you want to give it a quick check, no? Or put it in the shower, no? Not a lot goes near my arsehole, though. Okay, fill up, girls. When I'm in the shower and about to fart, I cut my hand under my arse so it fills with water. And when I fart, it goes... I'm just going to try and say a normal word that's not funny.

And none of you are able to laugh, okay? A really standard word. Here it comes. Bread. Bread. That was terrible. Girl, you're quite good at retaining it I know She's

Saw that big chitty sucking I wonder what word We could get her with Yeah I know What about Pissflat Dog-eyed

I think this is going to be really hard Scissor Bush Print cartridge Taco Bell Rimin Solange Knowles Cobell. Rimin. Solange Knowles.

Hi, guys. We got her with Solange. Right. Good game. Good game. So, guys, Solange Knowles really got me there. Yeah, she always does. We all saw her in that lift. Yes. And we're on the fifth floor, so she gotles really got me there. Yeah, she always does. We all saw her in that lift.

Yes. And we're on the fifth floor, so she got me really good, didn't we? Boom. And then Bread got Ellie. Yeah. Can't explain that one. I can't lie. And I got Scott. Yeah.

There you go. Thank you so much, guys, for joining us on this episode of Tea at Four. Can we just congratulate Ryland for joining us as well? Thank you for having me. Because it's been lovely. It's been amazing. It's actually been amazing. And if you guys have any stories or spill the teas,

please do send them to teaat4 at junglecreations.com. And that's a wrap for now, guys. Thank you. Woo!