Tea at Four - Ep 50: The pressure of anti-ageing: Is TikTok giving us more insecurities about getting old and should we be worried about the Sephora kids?

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

In this week’s episode, the girls are joined by their friend Rosie, to chat about anti-ageing cosmetics and procedures, and how different generations are responding to getting older. Should we be worried about the ‘Sephora kids’ who are spending their pocket money on skincare products? Are Gen Z better at skincare and makeup than millennials? And do men actually age better than women as we’re constantly told? They also give their hot takes and advice on some anonymous dilemmas sent in by our listeners - including trouble with an Instagram-hating boyfriend. Send any of your dilemmas or confessions to [e-mail], or DM us on Instagram @fournine

You're right about it being massively misogynistic, aging. When you think about men, you've got silver fox, you've got salt and pepper hair. You're like, men age like fine wine. Oh, give me a break. Where's the one for the girls? It's women age like sour milk, is it? A lot of the male adverts are like,

either they're like shaving razors. Our one is anti-aging. This eye cream, anti-wrinkles, it's everything just anti-this, anti-anti-anti-anti and i don't think that's fair hi guys welcome back to t4 i'm lauren and i'm christy and this is the podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in the group chat this week we are joined by our friend and fellow content creator, Miss Rosie. Rosie! Hello, hello. Excited to be here.

I am. It's been, it's, I feel like it's, hang on. No, it's fine, it's fine. I want to say it's come full circle, but I don't think that's the right phrase. For those of you who don't know, Rosie was actually the founding father of this tier four set. Yeah, she created this baby. The founding daddy. She created this space that we're all in. This safe space. Yeah.

It's a long story. Basically, I worked here and then left here and came back. So that is it in a nutshell. And this is my first time. But I've been working on it. Yeah. In the pre-stages. So it's not just a random thing that I'm here.

I am actually involved. She's the CEO. Oh, I'll take that. I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO. Sorry, everyone. I'm the CEO. That's a bit cooler than. Oh, yeah, I'll take that. I'm the CEO. I'm the CEO. Sorry, everyone. I'm the CEO. That's a bit cooler than Founding Farmer, doesn't it?

A bit Mormon. Anyway, we've got Rosie on the pod this week because we are talking about the subject of aging. I'm old. And Rosie's 31, so it makes sense. Anyway, yeah. Rosie, do you want to give some background to what you used to do in the general job sphere and why we might be talking to you today? Yeah. I'm not just on air because I'm old um I just

want to preface that preface preface that by saying um I don't think 31 is actually old no but it's the oldest I've ever been so um yeah we so me and Lauren worked on when I looked back in the day like years and years ago. And then obviously Christy joined us. So all three of us have been in front of the camera. If you're a four, nine Stan, you'll probably, you might even recognize me. You might even think I know her.

Not fucking that girl from five minute crafts. Not the girl from five minute crafts. Not the girl from five minute crafts. Let's clear that up. The way you guys hate that. I find it so funny when they say it. Do you? Do you?

Do you? Oh my God, no no that is not us i've been on in front of cameras 10 plus years because i've had my own stuff going on like my youtube stuff before that but in this four nine sphere it's been a seven years i think on camera so basically the whole of my 20s i was in front of the camera doing this as a full-time job and so were you yeah and then you've obviously come joined like a little bit earlier but all three of us have had had it we've had it we've had it in the comments yeah we've had it um yeah it does i don't think you really know like how much it can affect you in terms of like your self-perception until i don't want to say

until you get to your 30s because that's so cliche like once you hit your 30s like you don't care but like it is easy to reflect on your 20s when it's kind of been and gone and you just think I was gonna say swear sorry um you can swear okay then fuck that's a really big chunk of my life that has been like almost putting myself up for the criticism and I think now it's it like it probably it does obviously have an effect on you but yeah you don't really realize it in the moment and in terms of i feel that in terms of aging i feel like we've been kind of not scrutinizing but like editing ourself yeah almost every day for like six five six years i don't think many people have got that and it reminds me of like you know those viral videos of like dad takes picture of his daughter um like every week until they're 21 and it's like if you look at us from like 21 it's like unintentionally we've done that yeah and like your your body changes

sometimes like you fluctuate in weight and stuff and you'll look sometimes i look back on video i be like christ like i just didn't notice at the time but like like i'm a lot slimmer than or i'm a lot bigger than it's like you don't notice it but it is like just life isn't it and but that all that stuff kind of goes hand in hand with online like stigma and all that shiz so yeah um but you're right we did i forgot that we edited our faces it's actually a really unusual job and i think um anyone else who does that if you are like a i think anyone who works in a similar role like with youtube or whatever or content creation or even tiktok they probably have the same things it's probably a lot more common actually now these days for the younger kids yeah i feel that i think in terms of like filming ourself from like when i was in 2022 for example i've just come out of lockdown i'm looking good i've worked on myself

it creates a kind of imposter syndrome i think and it's quite toxic because I've got this edited perfected version of myself online and I developed a bit of a what I had to go to therapy maybe for it maybe but like where I started I started panicking that people may be would see this version of myself in 2022 and then they see me on Instagram or for example in real life and then think god she doesn't look like that she's a bit of a catfish it's like there's so many different versions of me that exist in the online sphere then then i started thinking like oh my god am i a catfish in my real life older self now and it's just like a whole i don't know i got that feeling as well like because when you're filming you know exactly what angle to put your face in it's the same setting every time and you just know like

that's my good side that's not so i'm gonna sit like this and you don't think about it at the time but it it is and then yeah you look in the mirror one day and you're like christ that is just not that's me that's not it is that what people see me yeah um but no it's it's yeah but also i would say with that it has given i think me now um quite thick skin in terms of sounds so but basically cliche but like quite thick skin when it comes to comments online and stuff like i could see straight through them every time and it's like it just it infuriates me when people um post it on like for other people now but i don't really care when it's about myself because i just i'm just like yeah heard it all heard it all a million times before yeah so yeah it's interesting

do you feel like that i feel like joy is i feel like i'm at a point where i don't give a fuck yeah i look how i look it is what it is i'm aging um i'm turning 30 soon and i can't wait but um i do feel like it it i feel like thinking about my appearance has stopped me doing a lot of things right so to the point where it's like like you said i used to do youtube i used to love it didn't really care just to pause whatever then it got to a point where i literally deleted a good 65 videos off my channel and now i regret it and i only deleted that because of insecurities oh i look i look like this oh you ain't got the perfect teeth so you shouldn't be recording or talking oh um you just don't look like the particular you know viral sensations are out there viral influencers you don't have that particular look so i actually went and deleted

everything and then i was just like to myself i think i've a couple of months back to myself why did i do that yeah do you know why i think you did that why i guarantee it's because you're on your period i know that sounds weird but you when you're on your period you look uglier to yourself it's been scientifically proven that you like your hormones if you're ovulating you'd be yeah yeah yeah it's so true like if you're ovulating sometimes i'm like wow i'm the fittest person in the fucking world look at me i'm and it's when i'm ovulating and then when you're on your period it's like i literally like want to end it all but like it's just i'm like who is that hag in the mirror there and it just depends on your size it's so like fucked up that women have to go through that every month yeah it's mad i think

it's nice that you you maybe see a bit of beauty with aging yeah but you've just gave a clear example like this week there's been like a big trend happening where people are commenting on twink death on tiktok so there's this picture of like timothy chalamet and like he's gone from being slightly more gaunt a little bit more filled out or maybe he's just got a different maybe he's just got a different haircut i can't fucking relate um but it's just like and then i see more people posting pictures of like leonardo dicaprio in titanic versus him now like 50 and then being like twink death. So no, he's just had a teenager death, an adult death, a quarter life crisis death.

He's literally just grown up. Oh my God. So we're just perpetuating this idea that it's so scary to grow up and not look like your pre-pubescent self. I get a bit freaked out by pre-pubescent. Sorry, I don't wanna like slater on who is, but like, you know how, like no no the other day i just thought like that's someone in between stages in between a child and an adult is teenager and that's probably

why teenagers look a bit weird i just think it's annoying like the the whole twink death shenanigan but i do feel like it's weird because i've seen more twink death when it comes to males i haven't seen female twink deaths online yeah it's almost bit weird, like a bit pedo-y. It is a bit weird. And also, isn't he like 27? Right. Like, why do you want that? Why do you want the prepubescent look?

Imagine being famous and just having these terms thrown at you. You couldn't imagine. Yeah, oh my God, if you're famous, it's been 10 times worse. But you're right about it being massively misogynistic, aging. When you think about men men you've got silver

fox you've got salt salt and pepper hair you're like men age like fine wine give me a break women age like sour milk is it yeah i've heard that one before yeah sour milk is that right yeah yeah women age like milk and men age like wine that's what someone said once they don't age like wine some of them do yeah that's what women do too but it's just genetics are a huge you might just have more collagen in your genetics so true therefore you are you know praised for looking younger or whatever but yeah silver fox is like if a man goes gray it's and he's got a full head of hair it's like obviously praised it's like well done you yeah but if a woman goes gray it's like you're a literal hag and men don't have to go through things like when we have a baby and our

face fills out our whole body stretches to the size of fucking the universe yeah pubes pubes i said boobs oh boobs yeah but you know i also feel like it's like if you think of tv a lot of like the male adverts are like either they're like shaving razors r1 is anti-aging um this eye cream anti-wrinkles is everything just anti-this anti-anti-anti-anti-anti so that kind of like plants the seed in your head like okay cool oh my god i've got to look into my appearance i'm getting you know creases under my eyes yeah this is that and i don't think that's fair yeah no it's so not it's not fair did you know fun fact men's products are cheaper than women's for the same thing even razors so if you get disposable razors you can get the men's version the women's version the men's are always cheaper because there's a sort of a demand that um figure me that that's not yeah riddle me that riddle me

that figure me that yeah no it's it's very toxic and i'm seeing it get lower and lower and lower like i don't think i was even that worried about aging until like now got sun damage but social media but like i'm seeing these 12 year olds now getting ready get the sephora kids no sephora kids get ready with me at fucking 6 a.m before i get ready for school i'm putting on all these retinols that are damaging my skin yeah when i when i've not even probably got stuff in my skin to sort out yeah yeah and it's like i actually don't think i started using a moisturizer until i was like 18 babe i literally put eyeliner on before school and nothing else that's it just the waterline eyeliner and off i went like with my non-existent eyebrows

it was a look it was a look but yeah no i didn't put a single a singular thing on my face and not to blow my own trumpet my skin was lit yeah all the way up until probably i started fucking about with skincare products and stuff yeah and makeup but i'm just aging yeah like you said but um yeah the sephora kids can't cope with them they are i wish like i feel like it's gonna be a classic case of when they watch it back in eight years they're gonna be like why did we do it yeah um and i think they just like the asmr element because they'll get their pots and they'll be like i'm gonna put this in my face yeah 100 and i got and i got the seven moisturizers and they do literally 10 moisturizers yeah i think the power of packaging like drunk elephant i'm sorry it is

the packaging and it's the way it looks on your vanity yeah i don't think they actually care about what's in it it's just like the trend of it the tiktok they see it on tiktok someone's like this is amazing i'm gonna i want to do that on the packet and then they just buy it it looks nice in their thing i genuinely think that's it correct me if i'm wrong and i don't again don't want to piss anyone off but like i just can't believe that people are that invested in skincare at such a young age it's and retinols nice nice enemies or whatever they're called like i don't again don't want to piss anyone off but like i just can't believe that people have that invested in skincare at such a young age it's and retinols nice and nice enemies or whatever they're called like i don't even know i'm sure they don't know what that means all you need is sunscreen sunscreen is the one i would say yeah because that probably will help you out in the long term but retinol that i sometimes put retinol on it burns my skin well up and it burns and i'm

like oh my god it's red and if you put like a little bit too much on then you've got burnt face for the next three days i don't mean like sunburn i mean like blisters yeah you gotta be careful 100 i think the only thing that i kind of like i wouldn't say regret but i look back at my prom photos and i'm just like oh my days and i look at my sisters or like my nieces i'm like y'all look so good the makeup is popping like yeah my mascara my eyebrows were super it was actually so bad i have all these eyelashes that were honestly like shutting my eyes oh my god there's so many i just can't believe how advanced i feel like they're growing too fast whilst we were i feel like we were growing fast but not at the pace that they are growing now they're skipping the awkward team phase yeah 100 it's because they they just can learn about all these

things now like we if you wanted to learn how to do a full beat face at the age 13 and for us you'd have to read a book or like literally go into the depths the depths of youtube which was probably quite new at the time yeah and you just wouldn't have the skills or expertise but now you can literally just flick through tiktok find 75,000 videos of someone doing the most amazing makeup you've ever seen with all these products. And I think they're educated on it. And the difference is back then to now,

I think we didn't have any focus on skin. And obviously you associate aging with skin. And back then it was like makeup, the fun of makeup, like doing full beat learning how to do a smoky eye now there's so much focus on sorting your skin out even at such a young age that it's like there's so much information you're just gonna fuck yourself up and also i'm not being funny but like this all just goes back to being a trend like makeup fashion and just fashion in

general changes so much and like skinny eyebrows were a thing at one point then it was bushy eyebrows and then it was um baking and like full face found it full coverage foundation and then it was clean girl and dewy and skin and the minimal look so i feel like almost the skincare probably goes hand in hand with like this less is more trend yeah i guarantee in like five years i'll be back to 2016 vibes like fake it and the bronzer and the highlighter and the at the moment i feel like blusher is having a moment but like that will probably go back out again soon and like do you know what i mean like it always comes back around so i wouldn't and i also think like yeah that's probably where the focus on skincare is coming from we're seeing as well a lot of people have

these mental cosmetic procedures and that's when i even think that's going way too far it's going from why they're really young kids using fucking drunk elephant retinols to now older people having these chemical pills that burn off like the first three layers of their skin crazy making them look 16 again yeah it's like no baby you don't look 16 you just look like yeah damaged I mean it's like you look at the Kardashians and you look at Kris Jenner and you look at how she looks at age 17 and there's an episode of how she's got the body of a 40 year old and she did a test and it's all like how can i get like that that's like oh i want to be like i want to be able to feel like i'm 40 when i'm actually 70 and yeah and i think it's just only natural for people wanting to look younger and when we've been fed this narrative of like if you get old especially as a woman

then you're a hag like or you're past your sale by day or someone's going to trade you in for a younger model like when you hear those things you don't think i personally do think of women and i don't think that men get as much they do get it a bit a hundred percent but not as much as as women do and i think like the procedures yeah they're just crazy like the vampire facials but then it's also like you know fillers and botox and everything that comes with that which are really expensive and high maintenance you need to do it consistently but people aren't like i'll be really interested to know how what percentage of women over a certain age have botox yeah like yeah in the uk or in the us or wherever it is like because i think it'd be quite high i mean i was watching the olivia attwood please forgive me because my english is terrible atwood atwood yeah atwood she's french

atwood i was watching her documentary on itv and um it's crazy because she said she made a comment that said she doesn't know she doesn't she hasn't met anybody that hasn't had botox done and i'm like you haven't met me babe yeah i mean i think that's crazy about that she can like think i don't think she knows anybody that doesn't have botox so i'm guessing everyone around her yeah or in her industry that she's in yeah that's something that's just normal to them that's another like great point like love island who like how many of them haven't had some kind of procedure lips boobs or yeah botox or whatever it might be and like it depends on your circle i guess like obviously she's probably in that realm and whatnot and but it is more and more common and younger and younger yeah because they say you should have botox yeah like before you're 30 because that's when it is like what's

the word preservation is key or rather than reversing is that the right word preservation yeah yeah so you want to like stop it in its tracks from early on but then you can't really afford it when you're younger then you're freaking out because you're like oh i should have had it before like i should get it now because then it's gonna be too late and it's like all these things going on your head i think about that i've considered botox multiple times this month i'll go get some right after this actually yeah there's some cultures as well that it's extremely accessible cultures really yeah yeah in in japan you can go get some right after this, actually. Yeah, there's some cultures as well that it's extremely accessible. Really?

Yeah, yeah. In Japan, you can go get Botox for 30 quid on your lunch break. Sorry? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Korea, they love it. And I think even here, I've seen like aesthetic enhancements.

They're even dropping the prices. I don't know if I'm just on a couple of mailing lists, but yeah, they're just like, as we know, the cost of living crisis is is going up we want to put our prices down yeah i i think like because it was probably a new thing like fillers and stuff it was like all in demand and stuff quite new yeah not as accessible now it's accessible everyone's doing it the prices will go down yeah it's going to get to the point where it's just like pocket money pocket money fillers and in terms of aging like if we're starting this at when we're 27 having these like subtle enhancements

when does it stop right i don't think you can stop because i feel like once you start it's like you're obsessed like you just want to perfect the little bits of you yeah i'm guessing because obviously back again to documentary she's been doing it for seven years and she's still perfect yeah so it's like when do you actually come to a point where you're happy with how you look like i think i yeah i think people can definitely get addicted to it yeah i personally don't think i would get them again for clarity i've had i have had fillers i've never had botox but i'm not gonna say no to that i don't think in the future um i also don't think it's like fair to judge people who do get fillers or botox at all because it's just like what we expected to do when we've had this like bullshit for all these years it's just to me like a natural um thing to try and

build your confidence whatever i've had um fillers in my i never had them before this year i had them probably about a year and a half ago um for the first time and i had like a full face like rejuvenation thing um from this aesthetic anesthesia anesthesia not anesthesia not anesthesia and aesthetic clinic aesthetic clinic called dr johnny he's on tiktok actually um and he basically gave me a massive discount for allowing my content of him doing it like to be on his channel um and he was really good and he doesn't do anything that looks over the top or unnatural and i said to him i was like i don't want anyone else to notice that i've had it done and i and he like understood that but when i said that to other people they're like so why would you

bother doing it in the first place then i'm like because i can see it and i can notice it and it's like my self-confidence and i actually loved what he did um but would never pay full price for it no it was like 1200 i think for seven mils the the price that it would have been but i got it for like i think 500 because it was like a model fee and he could use my content um but but that was a year and a half ago and it's probably all gone yeah and i wouldn't pay that again to get it back in. I did like it, but I feel like I've done that now. I wouldn't pay the full price for it. I feel that.

And it puts you in this state of temporary confidence because now I feel like I could look back at times when I've had something done and I'm like, it looks good then. And now it's all fucking gone. And I'm like, I'm constantly chasing that younger version of myself. Even younger, slightly enhanced version of myself. And I'm like, it's sad. You're like comparing yourself to yourself i do that all the time like if you look back at old photos like oh i look so good then it's like yeah you're 18 yeah you're a

child like yeah obviously and you have to just really check yourself constantly like every day but um it's really hard to unlearn everything that has yeah just been fed to us like you can you can say like oh i don't want to touch any of that has yeah just been fed to us like you can you can say like oh i don't want to touch any of that stuff and i love myself but like internally you can still feel like shit yeah so i kind of just think like just do you and just continue to try and unlearn it all but it's gonna be really i think i don't know if anyone ever does fully get there yeah like even if you look at i'm just thinking about my mum and like what she does and i think i don't know if she she to be fair she looks good for age which again in itself is a

phrase that like it's just thrown around all the time but i'm just trying to think if she uses any products like that yeah probably just left himself alone yeah i think it does probably get to a point where you're just like oh maybe it's just a one day it'll click kind of thing but yeah hopefully do you know what one of my scariest things about aging is no nans cut their hair short oh yeah like forget the fucking face my face shape's not gonna suit a pixie cut i'm pretty horrified i agree we can't go karen i can't do that my nan has short back and sides spike in the top mousse every day straight into it she wouldn't she wouldn't even have a hairdresser anymore a barber i don't want to transfer it's like kelly from

dance moms it is like kelly from dance long in the front short in the back yeah no i am i can't be doing that i'm afraid i've been a long hair girly my whole life since year four when i cut my hair into a bob and bowed to myself i would never do that again tall girls shouldn't get bobs no we look like miranda i love a good i think you would see that yeah but i think it's because you're shorter yeah i think tall with me i just look massively oblong i look like a fucking string bean of hair so right what is that that's a whole nother episode itself that is a whole girl podcast but no it is funny how the older generations just don't even think about it my nan didn't even wear makeup there was not a day in her life she wore

makeup yeah and then these kids are just whipping it on they love it they love it but they love it and they don't want it to look like they've got it on either i think yeah it's a balance it must be exhausting for those kids it must be absolutely exhausting i actually can't think of what it might must be like the pressure you must't think of what it might must be like the pressure you must feel as a kid these days must be really really tough of course i feel like we all had the same mascara let's just say right now it's like okay that person's got charlotte tilbury foundation oh my god can you imagine that oh because you ain't got this we were crying about um just do it bags or like the tigger tigger we need a few pencil cases they're crying about you know

bacon powder like it's yeah i don't get it and looking youthful is coming with a price these days to be a parent and my child goes puts on their christmas list i want a 69 and a drunk elephant blow drops no you fucking can't no absolutely not yeah save it and a 60 pound stanley cup to go along with it oh my god although i do have a cup but even i got influenced by that i bought a fucking stanley cup even though there's a perfectly good one that's probably not unbranded but i was just i mean i can you know i was like i'm gonna treat myself yeah for my own birthday but like as a kid they it is about the brands i feel like i feel like a lot of them now are like worried about that stuff we just buy like

two pound collection from boots yeah and like but yeah you're right charlotte tilbury that's the new thing isn't it and like yeah all these all these brands they love it and it's tiktok god i wish that i could make a skincare range that went viral on tiktok i'll be a millionaire yeah of course that's all you need to do these days make sure like you get your 13 year old niece to just promote it give her a bit of a fuck get her if she's got a bit of a following great yeah next thing you know you'll be in boots and you know what it doesn't even have to look good in real life you can just put a filter on it yeah people will not even know you can have the shittest product and have these creases under your eyes and have all your little wrinkles and everything

out you just put that little enhancement filter no one will know first thing it's got rid of my wrinkles yeah no it's so true it's so mad we're all chasing this like weird perception of beauty got another days of facebook yeah albums you know what you'd actually think it would be getting better but i actually think it's getting way worse you'd think like because we know about like how bad like diet culture is and how body change and like we should be more accepting but i think it's kind of going the opposite way yeah in a way it's like we know what we should be doing but we're not doing it but i think i feel like we know but unless you think about like celebrities that run these campaigns as well i don't think they understand the influence

they're having on young kids so it's i guess they do have a little inkling but at the end of the day they've got to make their money they've got a brand partnership with something they're gonna have they want it to sell so it's a win-win for them but then those are actually taking it in and embracing the content what can they do about it yeah well you're having like all these celebrities like reversing their procedures aren't you and like going back on like kylie jenner classic example in the kardashians not to reference kardashians twice in this episode but um she was saying that like she got her boobs done lips done fillers and she's like oh but i wish i hadn't it's like yeah but you did and like you still have it and like all these people are admiring you and it's

fine going back on it it's to be fair flowers to her for you know at least saying that because a lot of them don't but it's kind of like it's a bit too little too late babe and even when they reverse themselves it's not to say that they're doing the subtle things or getting the constant facials and the little bits of botox here and there yeah right to make to say that they're doing the subtle things or getting the constant facials and the little bits of botox here and there right to make them look like they're not completely sagged right once you take all that stuff out it's not going to go completely back to normal so people see people do these things like oh i've got rid of my lip fillers and they're like oh my god the old natural look is for me but i'm sure they just had a little a little time taken out and put a

little bit back in a little bit back in again a the little but we'll eat that up and then we'll see it in ourselves and we'll be dissatisfied yeah do you know who i actually do rate for it though is is um molly may i know that she gets a lot of shit but i think she's done a really good she like did take all of hers out and like documented the whole thing and like she talks a lot about how she she's she wishes i've got botox and i think she's like actually probably quite a good role model for that because she has just taken it all out like and i don't know i think like the way she comes about is quite admirable but yeah i think kylie jenner's probably not the best yeah because she still has it all it's like if you really don't want to just take it all out

you can you've got the money too but she won't be doing that i don't think it's just crazy we live in a society now where like 24 year olds don't really look like 24 year olds or 13 year olds like 13 or 20 years like 20 yeah yeah because they they're 13 year olds doing all these anti-aging it actually makes them look about 25 and it's like do you want to look that age when you're 13 it's a bit weird it gives me weird vibes it's like if that was my daughter i'd be like you're really gonna go out on the streets with a full face of makeup are you are you do you want to relax with me yeah because i make a little nivia moisturizer and go yeah i use a thing called dream up muse when i was your age yeah let me get you a bottle it's the shit so if i could kind of speak to these little kids on tiktok yeah waking up at fucking 5 a.m to do their get ready with me with my retinols before science yeah tests gcses um i would just say like put the gua sha down

you don't need to be like molding anything at that point i remember one time i gave myself crystal burn what from fucking gua shang so hard in lockdown i was like get rid of this it's like it's actually genetics baby it's actually genetics it's actually just i think just really remember who you are yeah and if if your age has a one in front of it you don't fucking need retinols i would say really take some time off tiktok if you can touch some grass yeah go outside and play with like a skipping rope or something um no i'm joking i actually think i actually think it's kind of like you can't really tell kids to not enjoy something that they enjoy i would just be really careful about the acids and the retinols and anything with a percentage on it probably leave

it alone uh sunscreen great go for it 100 the whole ass on that one um and yeah just the makeup and stuff again it's kind i think it's fun to play around with makeup i'm not gonna lie like i was i was in that era as well when i was younger but i think i sound like such an old granny but like going out on the streets with a full face when you're 13 it's just yeah it's crazy i don't know i can't get my head around it but you do you and as long as you're safe and yeah of your surroundings. Be safe. Aware of your parents. Just don't rush.

I'd say don't rush, enjoy your childhood. If you really wanna get into it, read. I feel like anything you do, do your research. Read a book, do your research. You wanna get into that, oh my God, just read. And don't take advice from people that aren't professional. I feel there's a lot of people online. Take it from a 13-year-old. Take it from her, take it from her, take advice from people that aren't like professional i feel like there's a lot of

people online but there's a lot of voices online that aren't fucking dermatologists and they're telling you these things and i'm taking it all in thinking yeah that's gospel yeah do your research also i want to just leave on a notice um that i've realized in all the years of doing skincare and makeup less is more like the longer you can prolong like messing with your skin the better your skin will be I know it sounds like so crazy that that's literally like mind-blowing but leave it alone and it'll probably be all right better for longer like if you start messing around with too many things too many foundations too many moisturizers too many retinols you're probably going to break out yeah yeah the best my skin ever looks is when i do the caveman method which is

doing nothing there you go that's the tea it's true give it a go nothing have like a month off and see if anything changed like especially when you're a teenager you get spots anyway because of the hormones and stuff it's like you probably think it's because your skincare is not good enough no no it's probably because your skin has team too much yeah it's telling you to slow down yeah yeah breathe we have a new segment for you guys today considering we love answering your dilemmas so much we're going to make it a regular thing to become your agony aunties do you get it so i'm going to put to you guys the dilemma been sent in by our audience and you're gonna tell me your thoughts all right bab okay it's entitled am i the arsehole for not

sharing a free meal with my anti-instagram boyfriend i post my food pics from when i go out to eat on instagram it's just for fun i spend like 30 minutes a week on it tops my boyfriend is a very sweet guy in many ways but one thing that i'm not so minutes a week on it tops my boyfriend is a very sweet guy in many ways but one thing that i'm not so much a fan on is that he often hops on the bandwagon on hating on innocent things not just not liking something but making sure everyone knows he doesn't like it if nobody asked i can't help but notice a theme pumpkin spice lattes pouty selfies taylor swift etc as you can guess he's not a fan of the food pics

and thinks it's very annoying and cringe he doesn't even follow my insta even though he has an account boo hiss

I've started getting occasional offers and invitations from restaurants in my city to try their food for free in exchange for a review

get it sis well I just hit the big leagues and got invited to a new restaurant opening that includes a free appetizer and entree for me and one guest i immediately invited one of my instagram friends who i've gone out to eat with on several occasions and also enjoys taking food photos i told my boyfriend but he's pissed that i'm not taking him and says i'm doing it out of

spite i really think i'm not if the restaurant is giving me free food in exchange for a post i'm going to put more effort into the post and spend a few extra minutes making sure that i actually got very good shots and i'd rather do it with someone that isn't going to sigh and roll their eyes through the whole thing also i think it's pretty audacious of him to be actively unsupportive of an activity that hurts no one and then expects to benefit from it when it's actually successful what i say is enjoy your meal and dump him yeah enjoy your meal and dump him bon appetit and see ya i think you answered your own question yeah like you just said all the things at the end that i agree with like i would rather be with someone who enjoys it and just tell him that yeah if he doesn't get it then dump him

have your fit then that's not gonna change my mind i'm going with my friend have your fit yeah she's upset have your fit yeah it's embarrassing yeah like it is a red flag i wonder how old they are have y'all come across yeah well sometimes i will take the odd photo of my food and i'll wait i'll make my boyfriend stop yeah and he's like i just really want he's but he's more like i want to eat it yeah it's not because he finds it embarrassing he just gets impatient but he always lets me and then he and then he eats it and it's the end yeah i don't spend it's literally like like second stops 100 they might they might not be on board of it but you don't have to like

yeah yeah grow up the trend thing is annoying actually like taylor swift it's like pick me vibes he's a bit of a pick me he's a little bit yeah hating something for the sake of like putting your energy into hating something i'm not on board with that reminds me of my um my ex-boyfriend used to get a bit funny i do like very funny tweets and very funny things that people would like like and retweet them and he'd be like you're literally not like that it's like no what the fuck i'm a stand-up comedian but maybe in a writing sense that's why we're not together anymore and that's why we're not together anymore yeah it's so weird yeah bye yeah yeah i think i think keep a close eye on that situation and if you communicate your feelings to him and he doesn't take it well i think dump him yeah that's too short i think you're both young as well from what

his behavior sounds like so if you are you've got your whole life all right so here's another one sent from my lovely audience thank you guys please keep sending them so hey girls love the pod we love you too hope this is okay to send in but this girl now hates me and i need so this girl now hates me and i need to know if i'm in the wrong there's a guy i used to be in love with throughout the whole of school and as we finished the final year of school we started seeing each other which i was of course buzzing about of course as you should after summer we went to the same college and this is where it all ended as he met a girl there who we'll call beth that name so this made college pretty hard as i had to watch them together and i had to try and

get over my feelings which i did anyway five years after leaving college we get together again he'd broken up with beth and i'd broken up with my long-term boyfriend from uni i thought i owed it to my 15 year old self to sleep with him casually for a bit with no feelings involved why not anyway beth who i was friendly with at college but we weren't friends finds out and messages me telling me i should be ashamed of myself that i was slutty and disgusting for sleeping with him that it hurt her knowing he was getting with someone she also knew he agreed with her and cut it off with me again and then they got back together she then blocked me on everything so i couldn't respond am i the am i the arsehole here english am i the arsehole here oh my god it's very hard to keep up with what was going on in that story i can't lie yeah yeah um so she was with this guy how long

how long was beth and thingy together were beth and thingy together when they slept together did he cheat oh all right what's the problem, because like, she was kind of with him first. No? Girl A, let's call her Stacy, was with this guy. Then her friend Beth, was it her friend Beth? Or just a random girl? A random girl first. A random girl then got with her ex.

So why, are they friends? Like what's the, why is she annoyed? I don't think they're friends. I think they went to college together and then. If it's not a friend, I think. I have her game. Yeah. Let her hate you you and it's all

in a realm of when you're 15 does anything really count then you can't be annoyed at that mistakes at that age i reckon also like i think yeah i don't think you said that she was your friend so there's no girl code there at all and my thing is why is he agreeing with beth so are them two doing something behind closed doors yeah maybe that's it yeah she get because he she just said that um that it hurt her knowing he was getting with someone she also knew he agreed with her and quite off with her so that's a bit crazy how would you agree with somebody that's not in our relationship but then you break our relationship because of that person because you agree with that because you agree with beth i don't know what you said yeah so basically matthew and stacy were

together yeah no they weren't they weren't together oh they liked they liked each other in school yeah but then afterwards yeah because she's only a 15 year old yeah to sleep with yeah but yeah but just casually without feelings i don't know what the problem is people can sleep with people exactly she ain't got no strings, no strings attached. Tell Beth she can go love like iPhone. Wi-Fi. I think I'd get it if you were in like a close-knit friend group

of like best friends and then like you slept with someone. Actually, would I even get it? No. Grow up. Yeah,

I would get it if you were friends. If like you, someone slept with someone I liked, I'd be a bit pissed off but you're not mates. You've literally just slept with someone and so is she.

Yeah. I don't know your mum. Yeah, I don't know your mum. Yeah um i reckon just ghost her to be honest oh yeah unless you really love her and want to do you want her to be your friend maybe no i don't think she does i say fuck beth cut her off cut her off and your life is the girl and he's an idiot as well so he's the arsehole they both are the arsehole not you but if you do want to sleep with him then go for it yeah do you want exactly period okay we have another dilemma here for you guys let's go i have a big family that's incredibly close we have big family dinners every few months where we all meet in my granddad's house and we all eat together yeah typically how this works is that women go cook for the time that they're there and the men don't which i'm fully aware is

sexist as hell that being said i'm one of the youngest people in my family and my protests mean literally nothing some of those women choose not to cook however this is usually met with a level of ostracizing the women who don't cook are wives and long-term girlfriends so they kind of already have a good family relationship dr din when i have seen new partners not cook it's gone bad like completely ostracized not speaking cattiness rudeness etc this dinner will be in two weeks and my girlfriend was asked if she would attend initially she said yes which is great i want her to meet everyone and for everyone to get used to her being around but when i explained to her the tradition she was understandably bothered i told her that i understood where she was coming from however it was best for everyone if she just played played along i told her

this isn't a permanent thing and that i'm only asking her to do this so that she can avoid bad treatment from the rest of the family this is her first impression and i don't think it's best if we cause waves she told me that it's unacceptable and that if she has to do this she will not be going i've tried to find a compromise with her on this but she will not budge and she's pissed at me. She told me that if I think it's acceptable to make her do this, that I'm just as bad as everyone else. While my point is that she needs to make a good first impression. Am I the arsehole? Is this the 1920s, 30s or 40s or 50s?

Can I just bring a dish? Can I just buy something in costco and bring it no i would turn up late oh yeah yeah sorry i've got something else on after the dinner yeah and after the cleaning i'll just come along for the games the games the eating but then it's going to be a lot if you're going to be together like long term then that's going to be surely a constant issue throughout your whole life yeah um because once you do it once they're gonna expect you to do it over and over yeah again you can't just be yeah he said put it on i hear it but okay the next time it comes around i didn't have to do it again you're not gonna be up cleaning when the men are sat down everywhere oh my who's doing the ostracizing is

it the is it the women in the family of the men that's what i want to know if it's the men the men no i think it's probably everyone some women settle into that role and they're just happy with it and i get that a lot in other cultures i think it's quite common yeah so i i just i'm not sure about everyone sitting and accepting it though i think everyone has to be on board with this little yeah should i should you set up i would probably go do it see what it's like and then if it's like really bad i'd be like so what's what's it about with all the men sitting down doing nothing when all the women are when you're there like do you guys do this every time i'd like make it like a why why do you do this curiosity if they say because what's

their answer gonna be like i don't know it's tradition and be like oh well what about what about they did it once like maybe try and try and introduce these new traditions try and wake wake them up and be like feminism or like just a little bit of like maybe they could do it one time to help you out yeah um and if they say no and if they ostracize you then i'd probably just dump him or isn't there that amazing thing where men love to show you how to do something but how do i like how do i like cook this whole dish yeah oh hang on i just thought it's the guy sending the dilemma in, isn't it? Not the girl.

Yeah. So he's, it's his family. Yeah. That makes it really hard. He's not going to dump her for this, is he? No.

I mean, I guess unless he's like, ride or die, we're going to go in there. We're going to change the rules in the family. And if they hate me, they disown me. I've got it.

I've got a solution. He should be the one to get up and go, guys, come on have sold me i've got a solution he should be the one to get up and go guys come on we're going to do it this once all that yeah but not this once we're going to start an institution the men but he's not he's not suggested this once because he doesn't want to cause a rift in his very close family he needs to cause the rift if he wants to stay with this girl yeah yeah if you really love her you will shake the table yeah grow some balls surely someone in the family feels the same way as you club together say we're gonna do this he's the youngest times are changing times are changing i think he needs to just get up and be like guys we're gonna do the washing up aren't we guys

just don't even tell them just do it and if they say no just be like come on let's give the girls a break and then and then he doesn't need to go why are you going then if i yeah don't go i quite like it from the curiosity angle though but like so why so why do we do it this way yeah and then if someone's like because the women should be in the kitchen that's when we can leave yeah yeah or yeah do that one time then maybe the next time then he should get up and do it so maybe go go in with curiosity the first time like let's suss this out let's see what people really think yeah like a spy be a spy yeah and then if you go again plan

it and say to your boyfriend i think you should get up and get the guys to go and do it and let's shake things up if those two times fail then maybe consider how much your family is important to your relationship tea oh that was actually quite an interesting conversation though loved it like that new segment as well what do you what do you think rosie i loved it i loved it yeah agony aunties hopefully everyone liked it let me know if you want me back on write in the comments in the comments

Rosie Rosie thumbs up for Rosie to come back on the pod no comments about how old I look please no hope you enjoyed the chat please be sure to give us

your thoughts as well in the comments and be sure to join us next week for T4 bye bye fun fun fun fun fun fun bye