Tea at Four - Ep 7: Are You Team Beyhive, Belieber Or Lizbet?

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

Hi, and welcome to Tea at Four! A brand new podcast series by Four Nine, where Lauren, Billy and Christie talk about all things that should have stayed in the group chat- your icks, picks and hot takes straight from your friendly girls and a gay. This week's episode is all about fandoms... From Beyhive to Beliebers, and not forgetting Lauren's Billy Elliott fan accounts. We aim to answer the question, what fandom is truly the worst?

Hey everyone, welcome back. My name is Billy. I'm Christy. And I'm Lauren and this is our podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in the group chat. We are going to react to some brutal, pun, confessions that we found on the internet. Okay, so the first one. I'm really proud of myself because I've kept to my 2022 resolution to stay off hookup apps. I was meeting guys a couple of times a week for sex but have stopped completely problem is i can't share this with anyone as no one knows i slept with men not even my wife yeah who's got the time what's he saying i'll go get some milk from the shop you know what i mean or milking someone else off oh oh god jesus we're going off the hookup with a mad Do you know what I mean? Or milking someone else off. Oh. Oh God.

Jesus. We're going off the hook up with a mad... What the... I'm with you, Mum. When I was a young teen, I used to practice sex positions on a four foot tall Santa toy. What? It's now my nephew's favourite toy in the world.

I am the only one who doesn't find it cute when he plays with it. Prison. That's definitely not been washed. That's probably felt. That's very hard to clean. That's disgusting. That Santa was violated. Violation. Harassment. Beastality.

In fiction characters. The poor Santa Claus. The poor Claus of Santa. How would you... Four foot eleven, that's quite big. Four foot eleven. Let's see, here's North Pole. Sorry.

That's... That's fucked. That's messed up. Why are you practising sex with children? Do you know what I mean? On a Santa, get maybe a real humour. Also, why are you practising something that's four foot? are you practicing sex with children on a Santa get a maybe a real human also why

practicing something that's four foot and who practices anyway maybe they're short freaking freak maybe they're short when first seeing a girl

she quite enjoyed a finger in the ass during foreplay one time oh a small pebble of poop came out at the end too embarrassed to get rid of it

i put it back in her we are now married and to this day we have never spoken about it or performed that act again i'm so glad it's on the internet though thank you i'm so glad i got to be the one to read that thank you oh my god i mean surely a girl's bum that doesn't glad I got to be the one to read that. Thank you. Oh, my God. I mean, surely a girl's bum doesn't stay open enough to be putting things in and outside. Exactly. Sorry, I just moved something around. This is going, aisle three, please.

Maybe, like, throw trash down the chute. Basketball hoop. I just, but I do really respect that he never told her. I think that's really sweet. Yeah. Actually, this is a really romantic story, guys. You're missing the point. I just but I do really respect that he never told her I think that's really sweet yeah actually this is a really romantic story guys

you're missing the point I've been seeing this girl I met at the pub for around four months now there's only one problem I have no fucking clue what her name is I've got to save

a South Africa because that's where she's from that's out of order. Tour guide, you can relate to this. Yeah. That's out of order. But maybe South Africans, they've got that kind of,

their names are very like, they're hard to spell for one. And two, it's like the pronunciation is very, very different. So I kind of get it. I also am really bad at remembering people's names. Yeah, but you've got, like, you could ask. Yeah, but not like that. You're four months in. Oh, sorry.

What's your name again? No, but surely they follow each other on Instagram. I think it's a lie. Lie. Yeah, actually, where's the, you know, unless they're kind of like. Not on social media. Kiss Kiss.

Y2K, babe. Oh my God. So one day fucking fiction book. Yeah, fair. What? It's a romance novel. Getting out of the shower, decided wife should be greeted

with a helicopter. Spinning dick dance as she walked in. Only it was our 12-year-old daughter. I don't think I could have spoken then. Oh my God. Adoption.

The trauma. Do you know what it is If the child was like Young Okay cool whatever Yeah dad was just playing He was doing this Cool But at 12

I would have to make memories Bro Your scar Cool memories Your scar for life That is horrible What do you do Abort yourself

How can you even abort yourself Yeah Imagine if Imagine you walked in On your dad Child line Oh I I don't. Imagine if... Imagine you walked in on your dad. Child line. Oh, I don't want to. Imagine if the dad was singing as well.

Is that your favourite song? And every time you hear that song, you see that vision of that. Every time you see a helicopter, you're going to be like... Exposure therapy. You cringe. Helicopters in film.

No. Can't watch it anymore. But having breakfast the next day, you can't look himters and film. No. I can't watch it anymore. But like, you're having breakfast the next day, you can't look him in the eye. No. Do you bring it up or just?

Or imagine, imagine he has to drop you or pick you up from school in that silent car ride home and you're thinking, I just saw you. What, in his helicopter? In his car.

Doctor. No. Actually picked you up via helicopter. That's a big mezop. Mezop. Big mezop.zop Big mezop Jesus

Big mezop Okay Okay next one Nothing quite ruins Fancying someone at work Like working in HR Just found out The pretty girl I fancied

For six months What Has piles What's piles From a sick note Put me a little bit off What's piles It's like lumps in your bum

Hemorrhoids i've got hemorrhoids grapes grapes oh poor girl leave her bum all alone yeah i'm not gonna but i hear it's quite common i don't really myself i heard. Oh my God. Hemmer and roid. Literally. Wow. Oh no, they're common. I know. Is it?

But it's not me because I have IBS. I wouldn't ever have hemmer. Lauren. You can have both. Lauren. Oh, it's me. I'm the girl. The overshare to To HR You guys should get

Hemorrhoids from Sitting on cold concrete Yeah you can Really And big poos Thank you Fucking BBC bite sized

BBC bite sized Tech talk Five years ago My wife and I Had an unprotected threesome Soon after which She got pregnant The other participants

Was not a friend And we do not have His contact details But our son Increasingly resembles him. We haven't discussed it. Who's the daddy? Marie!

Cherry! Cherry! But then again, why are you having a threesome and not lose your protection? Silly. Yeah. That stranger could have had like any kind of STI. Exactly. All right, guys.

The penguins prince of bat has been popping popping his pussy popping quite literally popping his pussy literally popping

he's been spilling all the teas of life and I'm here for it he should come on our podcast oh my god yeah expose him

in the corner just it'll be the only media form that he's not done he's done documentary book interview i think they're one step away from releasing sex tape okay let's let's let's not push it because i wouldn't want to watch that that is absolutely rank what are your thoughts on it like not on the sex tape just asking um i like harry you know ruin them why not it's just shocking

I imagine like an expose just you know some like light details about you know what's going on behind closed doors

we're finding out what he lubricates his penis with yeah and I use that cream on my lips do you yeah

your lips or your lips my lips oh you said lips right sometimes both yeah I said lips no no it's really good for cold sauce is it yeah and frostbitten penises wow i would fully support harry and megan's choice to

like leave i'm nowhere like a royalist but part of me is like you've got to question the integrity of someone who claims that they're about protecting their family from the media and you've just released an all like an all tells book and you're trying to publish that and you're doing documentaries and it's just not integrity but like authenticity of it all but i also actually think get rid of personally get rid of who? What, Kill? Not Kill. Line him up in Target. Say hello to my little friend. No, we don't want that. No, no, no.

Tomorrow we get abolished from the UK. Can you imagine? If you think about it, her and Will are just the biggest nepo babies of all time. Yeah. Their mother was Princess Diana. Their father is now King of England. they've just been born into mega wealth and fardom fame yeah um i just think get rid of them all and turn buckingham palace into a gig bar

or turn it into like ikea ikea top shop top shop oh my goshfs. I can imagine it now. No, the pick and mix. Pick and mix. The ballroom can just be a big pick and mix. Yeah, why not? I'm here for it to be fair. So, this is said book. Signed autograph as well. Man of the hour. He looks delicious.

Signed with an R? No, you were joking. He looks delicious. Signed with his penis. Oh, no. It reminds me of, you know, I love a Max Branning. Oh my God, EastEnders queen. No, he looks beautiful though, I'm not going to lie.

A ginger prince. Yeah, man. Go on, Megan. Go on with your bad self. Oh my God. Well, I've just opened up to a very exciting page. What's up, Marco? I've been asked to find out the truth, Harry. About what?

I suspected he was referring to my recent loss of virginity in glorious episode of An Older Woman. She liked horses quite a lot. And treated me not unlike a young stallion. Quick ride, after which she'd smacked my rump and sent me off to game. Great! Among the many things about it that were wrong, it happened in a grassy field behind a busy pub.

Obviously someone had seen us. The truth, Marco. About whether or not you're doing drugs, Harry. What? Oh my God. This is drama. I'm kind of living for this.'m just gonna read this for a bit even the way it's written sounds like harry potter fan fiction do you know what i mean

it doesn't sound like it's him no no maybe it's maybe it's like his cow maybe it's a drama yeah fantasy isn't it yeah he needs to sell it doesn't he and i suppose like he needs to sell his romp pays the bills. Rent was due. Yeah, but who proofread this and said, you know what, yeah, let's keep this. Do you know what I mean? Let's keep this on because it's a bit...

It's a bit mad. I'd be mortified if my partner had me describing the first time we had sex like that. The royals have ridiculous fandoms. Like, fans that queue out the side buckingham palace yep during jubilee the weddings funerals there's always the same five people that i see in every instance there was that one woman who was like i'd happily pay more taxes for the queen imagine using your annual leave days um to go stand outside Buckingham Palace. In this economy. I could never.

There's better things to do. Yeah, like go to Mallorca or something. Not fucking central London. Stand outside some chained gates. Chained gates. Just watching. Just to see them wave from the balcony. Romeo and Juliet

TV cameo though that's alright oh yeah if you're at the front row seats front row seats you've not even got a seat darling you're stood

you're stood on your annual day off no he sometimes go camping oh some people yeah some people do for a week and they've got

the foldy chairs and everything and then the flags hundreds and it's the only time they come to London true and these train fares train fares they're not cheap The foldy chairs and everything. And then the flags. Hundreds. And it's the only time they come to London. True.

And these train fares. Train fares. They're not cheap. It's an expensive day out to see old Liz. Well, it was. Guys, where were you when you found out that Lizzie died? At the dentist. You were at the dentist?

Yeah. Where were you, Billy? I think I was at home just watching TV. You were at home? And then Lauren came home and was like, she'll put the news on. I was like, no. He was watching Taylor Swift's reputation tour. I was like should we like put the live tv on he's like sorry i was watching my queen she was so funny i was in um mykonos and i think we were out and i was literally all twerking on on the table and then i get a call

from god say the queen comes on oh no and she goes she's dead i was thinking who's dead so much i'm out she's like she's dead i was like who's dead lizabeth lizabeth who the hell is lizabeth who's dead she's dead like the queen's dead i was like oh no as i told my friend and then we all took out our like our pound notes oh my god that's quite weird yeah that's a weird reaction You're part of the queen fandom Yeah If you look at that footage This is Christy sat in the tent Still slowly twerking

That's how you found out But yeah I didn't think it was real She would have wanted it It's like a reverse strip club You're throwing bills No but guys Honestly i didn't think it was real but i'm not gonna lie i did love liz but i used to watch um what are your nickname

bases that's my g lizzie's my g i told you she's on queen fandom you actually are you make you make tiktok edits about the queen you're a royal stan lizzie makes me so happy she made me so happy have you ever met her i haven't met her no no no i haven't met her she doesn't know you exist she doesn't but um she's done a lot in it yeah yeah she's done a lot, hasn't she? Yeah, yeah. She's done a lot. Oh, my God, didn't I just became a royal appreciation fan? No, I'm not, honestly, I'm a fan fan, but, like, yeah. You're not a fan, okay. Who would you say you are a big fan fan for? If you were to be part of, like, a fandom, who would it be?

My husband, Nas. Nas. Oh, yes. East Enders, Stan. I'm East Enders, Stan, definitely. East Enders, Stan. Hollyoaks, Stan, that's me. do you know where stan comes from no eminem eminem song you know the song stan about a crazy fan oh really yeah so they use that on twitter because these super fans would just obviously

so beside themselves about whoever they're fanning over yeah and they can be absolutely ruthless online crazy not even ruthless let's go back to crazy yeah i am i went we went to go see avatar the other day yeah how was it um yeah the film itself was good but like yeah got home i liked the film it was fine yeah and i've done like a small bit of interest in it yeah you know a little scroll through tiktok yeah bed not a little scroll no no i just like seeing a bit of bus home really i need to know everything about everything yeah uh but no there was like i was watching some bts uh footage of you know the cgi moments it was all innocent it was harmless very very fine footage the next day i wake up on my tiktok app it was absolutely full with fan edits of jake sully the avatar um to these raunchy music and with him saying like baby girl and quotes and like just

moments of the film where he was obviously being as they call it a sexy avatar yeah i'm not being funny how'd they call it that's what we call it that's a fan That's what we call it That's beastality He's an animal He's a creature He's not real Have you watched the film? The whole point of the film Is that they're like

Normal humans They're blue with tails Billy You made this acceptable The whole point of the film Is that they're being treated Like animals Oh my god You didn't even watch it

Okay well you're a fan then Yeah clearly You're the one Who wants to switch Avatar porn on TikTok. Never, not me. He's the stan. No, I typed in dot, dot, dot.

This doesn't interest me. This is offensive. Oh, did you? Did you actually comment on that? No, I didn't. So, it drowned out. Yeah, stan Twitter is wild though. I like, the moment Miley's new song came out,

I knew instantly all the all the all the goss yeah it could have been fake but so the song she's used the sample from the song that was her wedding song to liam hemsworth okay bruno mars song um if i was your man or something and she's like related that it was released on liam hemsworth's birthday oh apparently she's recorded the music video in liam hem in the house that liam hemsworth had 14 birthday. Apparently she's recorded the music video in the house that Liam Hemsworth had bought in affairs. Oh.

And she's wearing the suit that he wore to the premiere. Oh. Where he told her to be quiet and behave. How did he? The sources, the sources were all Twitter.

It's all kind of like these super fans that just like make stuff up and then before you know it people are like gossiping as if it's real. Do you know how mad it is? You've got to sit there and think oh this has happened i'm gonna piece this

together then it's gonna link with that like how do you have the time wildfire and like i'll take that as gospel yeah so this morning even like shakira caught a pack again jam apparently caught her uh husband cheating because she came back from touring and the strawberry jam had been eaten and she knew her husband didn't like strawberry jam so she was like obviously it must be another girl

eating my jam my consiments my preserves wow and but like Twitter said that it's like some random little sauce

and I'm like yep say no more Twitter is ruthless it's the worst app for it TikTok isn't the TikTok comments aren't awful no they're not bad but Twitter's the Twitter's's the worst app for it tiktok isn't the tiktok comments aren't awful no they're not bad but twitter's the is actually the pizza when you become a hashtag or a hashtag is in your post or like they reply back with bare hashtags it's over yeah it's over

you're finished like just deactivate cancel culture yeah did you ever have like a fan fan account yourself I'll let Miss May answer this one yeah I personally have found that life is very boring if I don't have something to obsess over

so I have been through many stages in my life we've gone from earliest one is Billy Elliot the musical the stage show

went to see Tom Holland in it in year 7 had a nosebleed up in the seats because I was so overwhelmed and then there was like there was no footage

of him online because obviously like 2007 so I would fucking get these like CD recordings of like the West End performances

and put it as my Bebo flash box bless me and then next next it was like the hunger games okay musical oh yeah obviously everything disney channel anything 2005 disney channel and then yeah the hunger games show that's my nan she's like what the fuck are you obsessed with this this is adults killing children i was was like and then we went to Justin Bieber, hardcore Justin Bieber fan

fan accounts, Justin Bieber follows me on Twitter there was a time of my life that I think I would have got in a physical fight defending you know his voice before it broke and people would be like he can't sing he sounds like a girl and I was like they're fucking keyboard warrior

in the comments. I'm still like that about Beyonce, though. Really? Yeah. We've had a couple of internal slaps, you know, the general slaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When people have been like, oh, what's your thoughts? I'm not going to name names because some of them are in the room,

but someone did say, Beyonce's overrated I was there with guns Who said that? Steve blown out his ears Why are you looking at me? I'm trying not to look at said person Is it me? No, not you

Is it me? Who said that? Who was it? Who said that? That one over there Oh no Yeah, innit? I'm not gonna lie

There was another person And now I can't look at either of those people the same ever again fair enough really i see it and the worst part is these people don't even know exist and we're willing to fight to the fucking death to be honest my husband nas knows that i exist we just haven't like crossed paths and every year on his birthday, I do post these. I do post these photoshopped images of my face on females' faces where he's like in them. But unfortunately, I'm not the greatest photoshopper. So I'm waiting for you, Billy, to kind of photoshop me a very great picture. But every year I post that on my actual Instagram page. And my friends think I'm crazy or delusional.

But I mean, it's fake. It's who you make it. Every year I post that on my actual Instagram page and my friends think I'm crazy or delusional. But I mean, it's fake, it's who you make it. It's harmless. Yeah, the day he sees it, he might think that I'm a bit crazy. No, but for every 7 million people that make these fan accounts and do these crazy, crazy things, there's one girl, like Hailey Bieber,

that goes in the Justin Bieber group chat as a fan of him and then ends up marrying him. So you keep making those pictures, darling. I went to a One Direction concert as well and afterwards I dissect the videos I took to see if their eye line ever looked at me. So realistically, I went to this concert, I was dressed like an Amish person

and I had this illusion that Harry was going to invite me to a pub afterwards because I'd read so much fan fiction that got into my head. I really really thought like he'd catch catch me in the crowd and be like let's go to witherspoons oh my god maybe he'll take you into a field and uh smack your rump yeah yeah there's still time we're going i got into um i got into the cameras at uh miley cyrus at glastonbury sick and it went viral yeah someone like screenshotted it because i was going crazy and then like work saw it posted about it and it's like got like over like 20 000

likes on tiktok or twitter at the time And it was me Losing my shit to What song? I think it might have been Like Wrecking Ball Yeah And then he held Billy Ray Cyrus' hand Like all of us girls

Reaching Please Billy Billy I was crying I was so drunk Like Kylie Minogue Had just performed Yeah

And this was on the Sunday It was such a beautiful day It was stunning And we got to Right to the front We were quite close for Kylie And then everyone left and we got even closer for the front. I remember like me and you were like absolutely bawling. I've never cried at a concert before and I was like, I'm like absolutely sick.

Hyperventilating. Yeah, hyperventilating. And then Billy Ray Cyrus, I think he was stoned because he was sat like on the corner of the stage. And then came back and shook my hand and I wouldn't let go. I was like, I just shook came back and took my hand and I won't let go. It's Joe Canamontana's dad's hand. I was actually in the crowd for that as well. And I remember seeing you on the screen.

I'm sure of it. And I was really annoyed. You guys were right at the front. Seven hours we were there, like blistering sun on our faces oh my god red so no picture has ever been posted from that day because I was sunburned

oh my days I think we need to address the giant elephant in the room which is Disney adults oh because they if you think about it they're just huge

adults that are in love with kids movies so much that like no but I no I will say something very key about like me as a fan as well yeah it's a form of escapism so it's just a way like it doesn't matter what the theme is whether you like to go to theme parks um that cost a lot of money

several times a year with your annual leave your choice In the cost of living crisis. In this England. Choosing to go. And you are over the age of 10. Yeah, 10. Well, I collected my memorabilia and even like Marvel fans, oh my God, we're going to get ripped apart. Oh, yeah.

Every fan that is. Yeah. But like people are like, I'm just against people who have hobbies and people who enjoy stuff. No, you're not against people who have hobbies and people who enjoy stuff like if i was like if someone's a picture of their room and they've got like like those little like marvel action figures okay that's too much oh no it's all right i mean i mean it's okay like for instance people that love anime and everything is anime that

scares me yes and what about people that like football and sports okay no all that money on season tickets and they're shouting all these charts in the crowd no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no That's different. That's also dangerous. Is it different? That is definitely different. No. No. What? Absolutely not.

I think it's like, if a guy, not so much. That's culture. Music's culture. People are fighting on Twitter about football, making horrible throwaway comments

the same way those beehives were going after Rachel Ray. No, but football's not, it's not as bad as. No, then you're not, then you're in the wrong part of football because my friend goes to football

and she's a girl and she says that like the other team will be throwing bottles at them she who is she uh well i've got different friends with different teams okay west ham spurs arsenal north london yeah i've been like i think some straight guys made fun of me being able to name all the beyonce dancers and i was Beyonce dancers. I used to be able to. Not actually. You can name every football player, who they played for,

how long they played for. What's the difference? What's the difference between me liking... I think there's a big difference because it's normal. You know, it's normal. It's normal. It's normal to have a team that you support.

My team is. I've got beaver fever. That's normal to have a team that you support. Whereas it's a bit like... My team is. It's got beaver fever. That's a bit obsessive. I'm a stalinator. Beehive is my tribe. That's a bit obsessive. But then again, I'm at fault as well, you know, because I love Nas and I'm a Nas, you know, I stan Nas.

It's a bit... That's a bit... Yeah, but in the same way, also, sports fans get like A massive badge of Arsenal On the back of their Okay let's No Arsenal slander

Or be Gunners I know nothing about football Leave us out of it But No I think The football thing is okay No

No Really No I disagree I think the football fans Are the worst out of all of them No The Beehive fans are the worst i think the football fans are the worst out of all of them no the beehive fans are the worst the miley cyrus fans are the worst because getting there with camilla royal fans are the worst no

oh my god i'm actually gonna combust yeah but that doesn't excuse the bad behaviour of the fans. I'm not saying it's weird to support football teams. No. I'm saying the extremes. Saying they're hate crimers. Yeah, it's the same as the extremes of the Disney characters. The extremes of the... Not the same.

World Cup people were being thrown pebbles at. So when, what's it called? When you're seeing a grown man outside wearing a whole Mario costume and he's he's everything Mario

wearing a football kit no man come on that's a game Mario's a game football's life football's right I don't know

I just spend it like Beckham spend it like Beckham babe I'm so sorry match of the day I'm being number one fan I'm so sorry

I feel like football's fine I'm not I'm not saying football of the day I'm being number one fan I'm so sorry I feel like football's fine I'm not I'm not saying football Like liking football is bad No I'm talking about I'm just saying that like The How

Aggressive football fans get That's what I'm saying Is the worst It's the passion How aggressive What's it called You guys get When you

Love your When you're being a keyboard warrior I'm not a keyboard warrior. I'm not throwing pebbles at Italian fans. Am I? Yeah, or glass bottles. I'm not setting

Leicester Square on fire. I don't condone violence but like just the passion. We'll put in what's it called? Flares up my arsehole. Yeah, we don't

put flares up our arsehole for Harry Styles but we should start. Maybe that's how I'm going to do his concert. Yeah. That's how you get noticed. I'm going to do it handstand.

No, but guys, I get it, but I just feel like football's okay. Like the fan... You're part of the problem then. Yeah. Maybe I am. Part of the problem. You're step one, self-awareness.

At least I know I'm a freaking beaver. Catch me outside Emirates Stadium. So speaking of fandom, I was a massive One Directioner. I used to do the whole like stalking them on the street, like where the rumors of where they might be and I would go there and I would try to find them. One time I did find them and I had photos with them all,

but I'll just show you the photos because it was back in the day where I was using an actual digital camera. Vintage. Oh my days. And this is how it turned out. Oh oh my god bobby had time oh no i'd end my life share the love that's a lovely photo of you bobs one for the one for the little baby bobby and liam's mole Swipe. Oh my god. Oh, what is that? You look as white as a ghost. That's a quiet one, isn't it? The exposure's done you dirty there, Bobbs.

Oh, the worst one. X Factor Harry. You know he smells of Abercrombie & Fitch, don't you? Yeah. You can tell. You can just tell. He smells of Abercrombie & Fitch. You look like your chin's wobbling in the now, Fitch, as well.

100%. Oh, he's got your chin. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it.

Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to get it. Oh, you're not going to getitch, don't you? Yeah. You can tell. You can just tell. He smells of Abercrombie and Fitch. You look like your chin's wobbling in the match as well. 100%. At least he got your chin. I was shaking. I was shaking so much.

Did you have it on Zoom or something as well? Yeah, I don't know. Why didn't you record? I can't believe you. It was just a photo camera. That used to be the worst thing if you had a picture with a celebrity and then you go to look at your camera afterwards. Fucked. I can't believe you're with Cheryl Cole's baby daddy. that used to be the worst thing if you had a picture with a celebrity and then you go to look at your camera afterwards fucked

I can't I can't believe you're with Cheryl Cole's baby daddy yeah strip their dicks out of me

baby daddy's mole alright from here what I was saying so right now this is the part of the show that we're gonna play don't spill

the tea which means you shouldn't spill the tea then you understand the tea's hot don't spill the tea which means you shouldn't spill the tea then you understand the tea is hot don't spill it so the way the game works is our producer Bobby is going to read out some stories and we're going to try and not spill the tea

ready? let's go my dad once farted in a museum inside a typical Victorian bathroom exhibition. And as we walked away... The detail, again. The detail. My dad once farted in a museum inside a typical Victorian bathroom exhibition.

And as we walked away, a couple approached. And as the woman complained of the smell he replied saying they must have added the smell to make it more realistic i broke up with my ex because he could only come using e45 cream as lube so this is actually a follow-up to our i don't know if you remember the last time our clown guy who was desperate to have sex with a female clown so i met a woman after my post went viral so she messaged me we got talking hit it off she's into the clown thing too i booked a hotel room when we met sunday evening um the beautiful sexy clown woman of my dreams her outfit her makeup and big red nose were perfect so perfect it ached. She came in and started making balloon animals as we made small...

I'm sorry. I just got showered. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh my God. Snap. Okay. Okay. Oh my god, the snaps!

Okay. I was on the tube on the way to see some friends in North London. Whilst looking around the tube to pass the time, I noticed someone a few seats down that looked remarkably similar to an old friend of mine who I hadn't spoken to or seen for a while, although this person was a lot rougher around the edges and about 20kg heavier than my friend. As the resemblance was uncanny, I decided to sneak a quick photo of the person to send to him when i got out of the tube and regained service on my phone i sent them a message with a photo with the caption this guy looks just like you if you packed on some pounds the message was opened immediately and he said

that is me i haven't been able to respond yet. I'm too embarrassed. When I was around 16, I decided to shave my vagina with my brother's electric razor as they do a better job than the disposable ones. After using it, I cleaned it because I knew he wouldn't be happy. Come evening time, while I'm watching a film with my mum,

on the other side of the house, I get a phone call from my brother. Did you use my fucking razor to shave your vagina? I literally sank in my seat and said no. And he said, I know you fucking used it. It's got your pubes on it. I was so terrified to go back after the film. I secretly went to my room and locked my door.

But my brother heard me. Fuming, he yells, open your door now. I was sat on my bed facing the door, refusing to open. If you don't open the door, I'm going to knock it down. Obviously I didn't, but my brother kicks my door and the whole door and frame came down. I was with no door for three weeks. P.S. My brother didn't do anything.

My mum ended up coming upstairs and telling him off. Oh my God. Poor girl. P.S. my brother didn't do anything my mum ended up coming upstairs and telling him off oh my god poor girl I think that's it for today yeah that's a wrap follow us on all our social platforms on TikTok

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