Tea at Four - Inflation fantasies, relationships without sex and a pee desperation fetish

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

In this week’s episode we tackle relationship debates, bizarre fetishes and embarrassing social media mishaps. The hosts debate Davina McCall’s viral video clip that suggests a relationship without sex is simply a friendship. We also react to two fetish confessions, one from a guy with a peculiar inflation-related kink, and one from a girl embarrassed to admit her secret to her boyfriend. We also receive our FIRST ever voice-note submission from the audience, where the anonymous person describes the cringiest Instagram fail of all time… If you have any voice note stories to send in, please DM us on Instagram @teaatfourpod, or if you have any fetish submissions to send in anonymously, email [e-mail].

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And I'm Lauren. And this is a podcast where we talk all things that normally stay in the group chat. In this episode, we receive a few submissions. We discuss that viral clip from Davina McCool's new podcast. Hash out an inflation fetish and pee desperation fetish. And we get our first voice note. Let's get into it. Have you guys seen the controversial clip from Davina McCool's new podcast? Yes. Yeah. Let's talk into it. Have you guys seen the controversial clip from Doreena McCool's new podcast? Yes. Yeah. Let's talk about it.

Cap, cap, cap, cap, cap, and a cap, cap, cap. Big cap. Big cap. Yeah. Cause I feel like basically you're basing your marriage on sex. I feel like sex is a bonus. To me personally anyway.

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like when you first start a romantic relationship, I think sex is important because that is the defining factor in early relationships. You know, are you friends or do you have something more? But I don't think it's the fucking be all and end all. Loads of people as they grow like into older relationships, like their sex drive dies down, people don't aren't as interested. I mean, I'm not gonna say my friends in particular, but like loads of my friends say

that they don't have sex regularly and they've been in relationships for so many years, but they love their partner. So like, also sometimes I just think those therapists just talk a lot of waffle. Yeah. I think it's the classic irony of like, this is a man giving a man theorists,

talking about the way that sex should be playing a role in a relationship. And once again, I do think it puts a bit of guilt out there or like, I feel sorry for people that are out there who have issues like their libido, you know, don't have the fucking time. They're a working mum of three. I haven't got time at the end of a long day to go and psych a dick.

Like, ah, it's just, it's just, it's just, that's the last thing I feel like people need to be hearing is that their relationship isn't sufficient because they're not hitting fucking all sides of the triangle. Also like no offense or anything, but just because he's read a load of books about how the brain works and how people interact, who is he to actually talk about someone else's relationship and what actually defines their qualities of love? True. And last, he quoted a male.

Again. Again. So where's the female point of view? Females, our bodies go through a lot of changes. You have a baby, you're still getting to know your body again. So if you guys don't, if you have a break from sex, it's not a problem. And it's different. I think for me personally, there's different types of intimacy. Yeah. Do you get it? So when he was, he was noting down whatever those other three bleeding points were, I think it's complete BS. I agree. It's BS. Cause

it might, maybe for him and maybe their marriages, you know, Davina's and the guys, but other people out there are completely different. I agree. And like, so Davina's by the sounds of it has a real strong opinions in regards to she thinks that her relationship needs to have sex. And maybe it's not missing that. I don't know. I can't speak on her on her relationship, but it sounds like that she's missing something else. Yeah. Not just the sex. Maybe it's the attention that comes with sex. Maybe it's the kind of like, you know, the way that someone treats you, makes you feel when you have sex, you know. But I don't think it's just sex, you know, because you can get those kind of

satisfactory vibes from someone through other ways of loving them. I think what I've come to learn is that yes, a hundred percent sex plays a powerful, like it is powerful. Like it's that moment that you reconnect if you've like not been connecting in other ways and it can be quite good in that respect. You know, one of the love languages, affection, quality time sums a couple of them up. But I don't think people should feel bad if they haven't, they're not satisfying that part of their life. But at the same time, you're both there

for each other as much as you can be in other wakes of life. And I don't know, I just like this fucking triangle analogy is just a little bit like thumbs down. The analogy for me is like, I don't need someone else telling me how I need to quantify love. And how I need to like, sorry, you do you babes, I'll do me, but like, yeah, people live different lives. People don't need to be setting these kind of like

constructs and more social constructs we have to live by because some old man decided to write it down. Yeah. Like the rest of our lives. Yeah. I think what it basically highlights because I was reading through the comments

that people were like, we understand where you guys are coming from but at the same time don't make it, there wasn't like a balance point. It was just like, this is how it should be. And this is, if you're not doing it right, you guys are missing something. Whereas people in the comments were like, you know what? There's different type of opinions

and people go through different types of relationships as well. So, therein off, you guys have a point, but it's an opinion, it's not a fact. Exactly. It's like it's textbook. Like the real things happen in real life very rarely can go by what's in a rule book and what the textbook tells you is what you need is what you're gonna get.

We're not baking a fucking cake. True. What do you think about that kind of perception that if you're even in a long time relationship, short time relationship and you're not having sex, you're essentially just best friends? Again, that's another label and a construct that someone else is putting on a relationship

that has nothing to do with them. So keep your labels to yourself. I do think it's quite toxic because it does feed into like, like I say, the guilt again, but I think a lot of people go through their relationships where they're not constantly consistently having sex and you shouldn't feel fucking bad for that. That's the worry of putting these kind of things out there

from a love expert that we see on maps and we think, oh, they know it all. They know what they're talking about. I think it's a little bit detrimental. Yeah, putting that out there to couples. Crazy. You know what you think, because obviously I'm practicing celibacy

and that means I will not have sex until I get married. Sex for me personally is just a bunch of emotions. So you can feel the type of emotions from getting to know somebody talking to them, spending time with them, physical touch, love languages. So I do feel like what they said, I felt like I felt some type of way because I was like, no, because there's different opinions and there's different relationships that go through different stages. So how can you How can you both say something and be like, yeah, that's it Bible That's so interesting you say that because a hundred percent agree with you and I never even like put

That possible perspective into the equation when I was like reacting to it myself, but like you're 100% true. So many people have such varied lives that how is this one form of definition of love? How can it fit to everyone and everyone's lifestyles and how everyone learns and grows? Yeah. Keep your shit to yourself, mate. Yeah. Listen to our podcast instead. We're the experts.

Wednesdays at 4pm, tier four. We're the experts. Wednesdays at 4pm, tier four. So we've had a couple of submissions regarding fetishes and we are going to read them out to you and share our thoughts. First one, I get off on inflation fantasies. By this I usually mean fantasies of women with inflated and inflating bellies. Whether it be from air, water or food, I know it's a weird fetish,

which is why very few people I know have it. For me, it's all about the process. The idea of a belly, breasts, butt and body slowly expanding and the feeling of having less room in your clothes just excites me. I also enjoy the fantasy of a helpless girl who's been inflated too big to put on clothes or fit through a door

Etc. Also, I just like the feel of a nice round belly mine or someone else's Oh my god. There's another bit to this My ideal fantasy is a girl with a flattish tummy, not me, watching as her own belly expands, peeking from under her shirt and tightening her pants. The breasts expand too until they're almost overflowing from the shirt. The girl is enjoying the whole thing, the feeling of expansion and increased areas of sensitivity, feeling her pants get tighter and tighter until the button snaps with a satisfying pop. She may even keep inflating until she can barely stand

and her body is practically spherical in shape. That is literally me after eating bread. All that's coming to mind is I bet he loves Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. That's exactly what I thought. Why? When he makes his great aunt expand into this enormous balloon that floats out the door. Sounds gorgeous.

And the buttons go poof, poof, poof. God, don't need porn. Got Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Exactly. I've not watched Harry Potter. It reminds me of Augustus Gloop. Yeah. So this is the thing.

The first thing that made me think of was a very fond memory that's very close to home. We've actually had our own run-in with someone with an inflatable fetish bully in the past. Do you not remember? What? So basically, a couple years ago for our works Halloween party, I decided to go with Violet

Beauregard. Oh my god. From Willy Wonka. No, you didn't. But so I put this picture up on my Instagram of Violet, you know, Violet, you're turning Violet if you've not seen Willy Wonka and the Charlie Chocolate Factory. That is the name, Willy Wonka and the Charlie Chocolate Factory, that is the name, Willy Wonka and the Charlie Chocolate Factory, then essentially violet Beauregard eats something,

she ends up expanding, then they roll her out of the factory. So I went as this for one Halloween, and in my little likes on Instagram was someone called- No, you don't say his name. We can't put that out there. Okay. Blueberry underscore middle-aged man's name. We can't put that out there. Okay. Blueberry underscore middle-aged man's name. Redacted. And anyway, we click on this and what I saw will never leave me. This is someone that

had a fetish of Violet Beauregard in particular, but generally any illustration or real life woman that had been manufactured on Photoshop or AI to be inflated and blue. And he found onto my page! He's not a part candidate! What the heck? Another one! Bingo. And that's just really something that sticks with you.

Did you hashtag the foal or something? I probably put that hashtag Violet Beauregardene for perfect. He's got notifications set up. Yeah. Right for the harvest. Yeah. So that was me and Blueberry underscore. What would you do if your partner

had this particular fetish? Part of me would not be surprised. At least I would. At least not. You know, there's gotta be a reason they're with me. It would be quite amazing to feel so relaxed and confident when you're bloating. So I feel like as a girl, I'm always quite worried.

A part of me feels a little bit like, I don't know, like, is there a sense of like dominating and that kind of like, if you're, I mean, it's different, isn't it? If you're into it as well and you prefer the submissive part, but like someone fattening me up and like wanting me to just be almost unmovable.

And it's a little bit like, makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I don't think it's actually humanely possible to be pumped with so much air that my boobs almost pop. So it's like, do you just want me to be like an avatar or something? Am I an avatar? No, sorry, I don't mean avatar. What do I think of? Like a celestial being. What's celestial mean?

Means like space. Supernatural I mean. Oh my God. Yeah, it's just not really something I can achieve for you. I get fetish like a rubber glove or like Hoover. We've got them in the house. Am I able to pump myself full of enough air that it nearly explodes?

Unless he has some kind of like, you know... Unachievable expectations, you know? What are those, um... Air pump beds. Not even that. But you know the... Balloon. Balloon, but the body shape ones. Or like Card Factory on your birthday.

Yeah, and you kind of like, maybe he has a joy in like pumping those type of... Because I just... I'm really struggling to find some it down to Clinton's craft. Nice words to say about this. It's just weird. It is weird. Can we look up what is the reason? Heavily associated with the feeling

of being bound to one spot. Hey. I know that feeling well. Me on a Sunday. Apparently it's commonly done by inserting items such as balloons, bouncy balls or beach balls underneath clothes or a skin tight suit and inflating them. Huh, I thought you was going to say put the balloon or ball inside of you and that's when I was like... I was about to say it because... People will be doing too much.

You're so crazy, I can just imagine yeah I'll be let's say I'm at the person's house staying over and then by their bed They've got like a pump and then they put into my ears or my nose and they try to like Feel like they'll be using other orifices The holes in it easy access holes my nose is but I think if it's a sexual pleasure they'll be using another Big pause. That's crazy. I just don't know. I just don't think it's very achievable. I just think it's one of those fetishes that I understand people have fetishes, but I can't expand the size of a room as you'd like.

I don't know. There's a part only that finds fetishes in regards to like the way someone looks slightly problematic. Yeah. Like when you, like when people have fetishes over like height, size, race, it kind of like treads this line of like you're objectifying someone. Totally, yeah. And it kind of like break, yeah, you step into really uncomfortable territory I find. A lot of this says it's actually not really about how they look.

It's more because they're helpless, sensitive. It's almost like a bondage thing. So they're in control. So, yeah. I mean, fair enough, people are into that. Yeah, Christian Grey likes that. Don't know if he's got specifically an inflation. I might be lucky.

Yeah, it's really interesting. But I just, I like generally is coming from someone that has issues like IBS and is generally quite bloated a lot of time. It's not a comfortable feeling. I don't think you would want to wish that on your partner. No, I just sleep when I feel bloated. Yeah.

I fart a lot. You fart a lot. Yeah. Oh my God, I had that. Do you ever used to go to your boyfriend's house when you were younger and you just like didn't fart for the whole weekend? One time I was bent over like in a fucking R shape the whole way home. 90 degree angle.

I was in agony, agony. I actually get it when like, not so, I never had a boyfriend so I can't be that, but like when we've been away before and I've shared a bed with like you and Danielle, I wake up with the most like excruciating, bloated balloon belly of farts that I can't release in the night because I'm so embarrassed that like, we're in Edinburgh, I went to the bathroom

and I farted for 10 minutes. Daniel heard it. Danielle was like, I thought it was a train. Oh my days. That's crazy. It was just like. That's fucking mad. In my room there was just a mouse. You did have a mouse.

I did have a mouse. Oh my gosh, farting mouse. Yeah. Oh no. She was the farting mouse. No, yeah, it's horrible. We shouldn't do that. Don't keep air in guys.

Yeah. I want to have a, what was it? A little bit of air in. Yeah. I want to have a little bit of fighting mouse. Yeah. Oh no. She was the fighting mouse. No, yeah, it's horrible. We shouldn't do that. Don't keep air in, guys. Get out. I want to have a, what's the opposite of inflation first? Deflation.

Deflation. Let's just go around the room like, oh. Meow. That is actually one sensation I would love to know what it feels like. Me too. That's what it feels like when you fart for 10 minutes in the toilet.

She was a fairy. Any tips? Please do send them in. Okay. So our next submission is, my boyfriend and I have a wonderful sex life but I really want to give some of my fantasies a try after trying many of his. Problem is mine have to do with pee desperation and I get extremely self-conscious when I go to talk about it and almost always played off as being silly or chicken out and not say anything at all I get really turned on by the idea of him holding in a wee and seducing me instead I once briefly brought it up and he said he would find it too distracting from the sex but I don't know how to explain that that would turn me on more than him being fully invested

in sex. How can I pick up the courage to approach him as confidently as I do when I am seducing him or doing anything else normal? How can I not be embarrassed through the entire sexy time? Oh. So she likes the idea of a partner really needing a wee. Dying for a gagging for a pee, but don't pee. Pleasure me. Okay, custody. Oh my God, you should read erotica. Did you? Erotica audio.

Did you just say, close the hole? No, but no, not close the hole, girl. I don't know, it's great. And the tea sounded like a rap. That's crazy. I'm in shock. Ain't that dangerous? You're meant to pee. Yeah. That can cause some serious, serious damage in the long term. Yeah. You should wee as frequently as possible. Empty the bladder. Yeah. Would you not be worried about like, him just accidentally peeing?

Maybe that's the fun of it all. See Simon it's a danger. So they're having it and then he pees in. No, no, no, no. The whole point is that he like, can't think about sex. So maybe she likes the idea of like, him being so distracted by something else.

Cause that's what she's saying like turns her on. Or him. Interesting. Like, so like she loved, they love it when this person, their partner is so full needing a wee that they almost can't have sex, but they're still having sex. It's definitely some kind of dominatrix thing again.

Like I think so, just, or just like. I want, part of me feels like maybe it's something to do with the idea of being wanted. Someone wants you so much that they will have sex with you even though they need to do something that's so much more important. Ooh, that's quite... Do you know what I mean? The P relation is a little bit like... Someone wants to have sex with you so bad that they're willing to like try and fuck you before going for a wig.

It's really hot actually. Yeah as you were saying that. A little bit of Christie's rap, a little bit of that. Hot under the collar, cover, what? Collar, hot under the collar. Hot under the collar. I'm not under any covers., under the collar. Under the collar. I'm not under any covers.

Under the covers are you? I think that's a bit, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. It's kind of uncomfortable. I mean for the person who needs a wee definitely and I need a wee right now. Yeah it's like, yeah you're not basically having sex basically. I'm like I'm focused on something else, but you wanna have sex with me.

How does that? There is like a reason why like, there's a whole category of sex around golden showers. And like, I learned that from my fan fiction days, sadly. Kate Price. What? Kate Price. What's Kate Price done?

Pooh on the chest. That was an AI image. That was a faked image. Was it? Yeah. You fall for things you see online. You sent it to me and told me about it. I did, I did.

Yeah, I think that, like you just explained it, that makes a lot of sense. And I'm sure bringing it up to your partner, they'd be down to try something once. But also, yeah, like Billy said, it could lead to some really long medical issues. So be careful and look after your bladder, yeah? I think it's always, yeah, like you say, it could lead to some really long medical issues. So be careful and look after your bladder. Yeah. I think it's always, yeah, like you say, it's very important that you take into consideration the health and safety of your partner, especially if you're asking them to hold in their pee. Why don't they try edging? How about that? Or why don't they try like, some like, watch playing, having sex whilst football's on?

Yeah. Why football? I think a lot of guys love football, don't they? I love football too. But then, you know, no, I think that's not gonna work because you won't have the sex. They'll probably just walk out the room

and watch it somewhere else. If there is a screen on in the room, I'm watching it. True. Do you know what I mean? I'll sit in the pub and watch football and I hate football. But because there's a screen. I'll be sitting there talking to my friends about something really emotional but like yeah. Oh my I'm so sorry. They died. What? It's the real thing. It's the stimulation I love it. That's you and Eastenders. Yeah. Oh my god you versus

that would be your edging. Yeah. Eastenders live Christmas episode versus sex. That's me and Eastenders. Yeah. Oh my God. You versus that would be your edging. Yeah. Eastenders live Christmas episode versus Sex Christie's. Yeah, that's me. If you guys have any submissions or confessions like these or anything you want to get out into the open anonymously, of course, please send them to us at tfot at junglecreations.com. We would love to hear them. So guys, we have a new segment that we are introducing and we're bringing you guys into our beloved group chat.

So we've got a voice note that's been sent directly to us and I'm about to play it and we're gonna further discuss, you know, delve into it and kind of like break it down. You guys ready? I'm excited. This is quite cool. Oh my God, let's hear what they've got to say. So my friend did the most embarrassing thing the other day

that I thought I'd share with you guys. He was on Instagram and he saw a story from a girl he went to school with like 10 years ago. She was showing a picture of her new baby and announcing the baby's name. He thought the name was funny for some reason and screenshot it to send to his mate on WhatsApp. Put it in his pocket and then went to work for like six hours. When he next checked his phone he had loads of messages in the group chat from his mates

telling him that he'd actually put the screenshot on his own Instagram story and somehow his Facebook story too. And then he realised that he had a message from the girl and a message from all of her mates being like what the fuck, why are you showing a picture of my friend's baby and taking the piss out of his name. So yeah, I thought that was quite funny. That is brutal. That has made me actually like cave in with second hand. Cuddle me up, swallow me in. What the fuck?

I would have to like not only delete my social media account, burn any access point to the wifi. I would not come back from that. You can't come back from that. It's so bad, isn't it? It's so bad. I need to do a retreat or something. It's just like wipe the last bullshit out.

I'd top vegan. I mean, it's or something. Just like wipe the last I don't be I mean Some kind of like yeah self-help retreat Get me away from I'd leave the country that would keep me up every single night for the rest of my life Yeah, I'm like get so anxious anytime I'm having a bitch about someone's Instagram stories that I have to like really be careful. Deep breath I'm going on the tiptoes of the pads of my fingers. I'm going quietly. Do you know what it's like you know when your friend sends you a profile of a guy or something and then you're kind of like looking through it and it's like you're making sure you don't double yeah. Yeah

now that is the worst case scenario ever because not only are you like bitching about someone, you're bitching about a baby and you put it on two social media platforms. So my thing is that people check once they've done it, don't they like check? Because obviously you know you should- But he thought he was sending it to someone. That's crazy, I'm sorry. I'm so like, I'll make sure that little, okay cool, yeah cool. But also like if you're going to work first thing in the morning and you're, I'm always,

I'm not a morning person. Yeah. So sometimes I'll just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, cool. But also like if you're going to work first thing in the morning and you're, I'm always, I'm not a morning person. So sometimes I'll just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Send and then I'll be like, wait, what have I done? And like, I would have accidentally, thankfully never that kind of level, but I can imagine it happening on the way to work. And then six hours. That's crazy.

Live for six hours. Oh my God. That is crazy. Can you imagine the comments? That baby's got beef. It's just come out the womb. Also, have any of your friends ever had a baby? Because my friend's had a baby and if I saw some random guy from school like 15 years ago I'd put it on his story and be like what the fuck? I would be pulling up to his door. I'd be finding his lint in his work.

No, 100%. I would be making fake posts about him. I would be putting in like terror threats at his office. Baby hater. Wow. That's nasty. That is, I wouldn't give up as well. I'm a petty cow. You've got to taunt that person.

I would not, I'm like a dog with a bone, that kind of thing. And I would not let go for years on years. And I would do it, I would take reminders reminders on there for yearly reminder. Oh my god yeah you'd have to be have social media for life wouldn't you? That would be the real nail in the coffin. Maybe move to somewhere that doesn't have social media like Blackpool. Maybe not Portico but Blackpool. Kidding we know Blackpool has social media. I love their trick talks. Well.

That was fun. I'm sending a shock, sorry. Like I'm processing that. That's fucking jokes. Yeah. I hope he seeks the right help he can get. Yeah. Because I would be needing to talk to someone.

Witness protection program. That's jokes. Also guys, all our listeners, we have just set up a specific T at Fort Instagram that we would love for you all to follow. It's got all the BTS, it's got all the clips from the show, everything you'd want to get to know a bit about us and what we stand for. And some funny little tiki-tokis on the way. Because we are The Click. Yeah, we're about two weeks late to that. All right. We're the Instagram generation. Thanks for joining us. See you next week. Bye.