Tea at Four - Instagram icks on Christmas day, nostalgic nativity chats and why the Kardashians have ruined Xmas for us all…

Episode Date: December 18, 2024

It’s Christmaaaas, and for this festive episode Lauren and Billy take a dive into nostalgic christmas memories of their past. Billy recalls his most embarrassing Christmas Eve stories, and Lauren has a bizarre early memory from Christmas day… They both agree on the realisation that the run up to Christmas has not been the same since X Factor died down, and Billy ignites a discussion on why he thinks the Kardashians have ruined Christmas. We also discuss our biggest Christmas day icks, and why you should be staying off of Instagram during this time…

In today's Christmassy episode, we talk all things Nativity. We talk about every time Billy's ruined Christmas. And how the Kardashians have stole Christmas. And how December has never really been the same without X-Maxxer. Hi guys, welcome back to Tute 4. I'm Lauren. And I'm Billy. And this is a podcast where we talk all things that normally stay in the group chat. And today is our Christmas special!

Blalalalalala. Ding ding ding Christmas noises. Shall we pull a Christmas cracker then? If you don't mind. Of course. Oh, mic. What? You cheated.

For our audio listeners. That was probably amazing! Oh I don't want that colour! I want to open another one. What be I'm opening the other one. I don't want that. This is what I could do as an only child anyway. Oh!

Purple! Oh, butters. What have you got? Purple and orange. Oh my god. That's quite like a red one. It couldn't get any worse. It is incredibly Halloween. I'm sorry that's so

ugly. I don't want people to think we're unfashionable if they just stumble across all of these shops. What do you think of this as unfashionable? It's kind of sitting in the back of your head like a... Yeah, because I don't feel my head. Okay, no Christmas hats for us today I'm afraid. Christmas is cancelled. Bubba, you really need to work on your Christmas cracker buying selection. I know, sorry. Try harder. I got ID'd for them, it was an absolute struggle. Really? What?

That's ridiculous. What part, is it a firework or? I don't know, I was like, isn't that like 12? And he was like, no, it's 25. And I was like. Oh. 25 for crackers? Yeah.

Okay, let's play the game where you have to read out badly written Christmas plots. Nice. And guess the name of the film. Let's go. Okay, my first one, Guy steals gifts and gives them back. The Grinch? Surely.

Yeah. Yeah, nice. Awesome. Give me some quotes. One point for me. Give me some Grinch quotes. He looks like your boss. Hate, double hate, loathe entirely.

Max. Max. That's it, I'm not going. That was pretty good. Thank you. Bad parents avoid child being taken away from them despite negligence. Home alone. Yeah, I was gonna say home alone.

Yeah, correct. I wanted you to catch up. Yeah, right. Pity vote. Child kidnapping is an issue in this one as the boy is lured by promises of hot chocolate. Pile Express. I hate Pile Express. Yeah, only ugly people watch Pile Express, I heard. Pilot Express! Oh, I hate Pilot Express.

Yeah, only ugly people watch Pilot Express, I heard. What the fuck? I love Pilot Express. That's my favourite, like, general Chris, like, film. I think it's the worst one ever. It's one of my favourite top five of all time. I think it's so impressive. It's so magical. I hate it.

You want a hot cup of gel? Hot gel! I think I've only seen it a couple of times, and I hated it even more. Why? First time I watched it was a pirate DVD. So the quality was really bad. And then the second time I watched it I thought gosh this is terribly boring.

Why? I just don't think anything fun happens. What the fuck, the whole thing is fun. Also not a massive Tom Fanks. I'm going to wish my Tom... Why Tom Fanks? I'm not a massive Tom Hanks fan. His voice is annoying.

His voice is the whole fucking cast. I rest my case. Yeah. I don't like it. That is not ideal for you. Well, I personally absolutely adore Polar Express. I think it's one of those films that actually truly makes me feel excited

and they're on kind of uncanny valley bases. I love it. Terrifying. I get lost in it. The only scene I don't like is the one where he gets trapped in that one carriage with all the puppets. It's like Ebenezer Scrooge. Oh yeah, you're speaking to someone who's not watched the film and won't watch the film this year.

So I don't know what you're talking about. All right then. A man commits manslaughter in front of his child and gets a new job. The Santa Claus. Oh, I've not seen that. That is the best Christmas film of all time. That is the best one.

You have been robbing yourself of a true, true Christmas by not watching that film. No, but why has that elf got dreadlocks? That one elf. Oh, Bernard, yeah. Does he have dreadlocks? I think he does. He does have dreadlocks.

He does have dreadlocks. So that's actually culturally inappropriate. So I'm boycotting the Santa Claus. Well then you're truly boycotting Christmas for yourself. My Christmas is better than yours! Oh I tell you what we do love. What? 321 Nativity. Nativity, yeah I watched that last night. Yeah. Yeah. It's just nostalgic Christmas and the other night I was on like one of the children from it Ollie someone did like a fan edit and he's at least eight years old. I don't know what ticks are going on.

I was thinking this last night um plot twist you know I hate them you stopped doing Nativity in like year two don't you? No babe you've oh. You don't carry on doing Nativity at their bloody age. Yeah but they've but they've got to have stuff like that to do. What else are you learning? How to spell, blah. Like, it feels really authentic, like, all really authentic, but I was thinking about last night,

actually, I stopped doing the nativity after like year one or year two. Really? And then you do the school play, don't you? You're just getting a bit too old for it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're right. But then I guess you can't really expect, like the funniness is the kid actors, the humour.

And there's only, let's say, nine select parts to be the main cast of the... Oh, they'll find them. They will find them. Gold, Frank, and sense of meh. They gave everyone a bloody main part in that one, in Nativity. Oh, yeah. I'll tell you that. The whole class.

I used to really want to be an angel because I was obsessed with magic and I thought they were fairies. Yeah. And then my mum was like no they're not fairies and I said I don't want to be in the play anymore. Wait what do you mean they're not fairies? What? Angels aren't fairies are they? Well this is the thing because I got cast as Angel Gabriel and I was absolutely gassed and I come home and my mum was like that's a. Yeah, it's true. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck, Rachel? Pixie the boys. Wait, so Angel Gabriel's not a fairy?

No, he's an angel. You know what the difference between a fairy and angel? Oh, no. I don't know, my mythology. One thing that isn't spoke about more and that we're not all fucking falling at the floor at, is the fact that the head teacher in Nativity is Ms. Trunchbull.

Yeah, Queen. Like. Queen. I'm scared of her in Nativity as much as I'm scared of her as Trunchbull. The range. What's your favorite Christmas carol? Oh my God. I actually made a note of this last night,

because I saw Mariah Carey singing it on her Christmas special. Tell me yours quick. Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king. Wow. Thank you so much. Yeah, I love that. We go to, well it's cancelled now because TikTok ruined it, but we go down to Bethnal

Green and sing some carols. Oh my god, yeah. What are the ones where people go really quiet at the end? What's that one? I can't remember. And then they all jump up at the end. Ruined by TikTok. What song is that?

Why is it ruined by TikTok? Well we used to live like in Hackney, we used to go to Columbia Road for the Christmas Market and then there'd be like the local choir and like choir man would get everyone singing and then someone posted a tik tok of it and Now the road every year is completely packed out and the choir cut don't go anymore because yeah Why do they keep doing that thing so sad it was like we got like these little leaflets through the door being like Christmas carols on Wednesdays And now we couldn't even go and have a nice mulled wine because some every Dick, Tom and Harry wants to go because they saw it on Tiki Toki.

Yeah, boring. Star of wonder, star of light. That is it. Is that the one where you go quiet? Like this beauty bright as for season still proceeding guide us to thy perfect light. Oh yes, so I love those ones, but they really fucking bang. They really do.

They get going. I'm not religious, but I'll put that on my playlist. 100%. This little light of mine, not Christmas, but I will belt that and I want that at my funeral. This little light of mine. Go! I got a wish and it's giving gospel.

So obviously in the UK, it's a big classic tradition of going out to see a pantomime on Christmas Eve, but nowadays it's got extremely high ends. Do you know what I mean? You just go to the Palladium in London, that's probably about 60 pounds. I've never actually been to the Palladium, but I've heard that. No, neither.

Talk about the local high school. You know, my aunt goes every year and she loves it. And I'm always so jealous. She says that they put so much special effects into it. It's very camp, isn't it? Yeah, one memory I have for going to, we used to go every year with the school, but we'd go to the local pantomime in Stevenage

and one girl sat on the chair and the chair broke. On the stage or in your audience? Audience. Oh shit. Yeah, embarrassing. I hope she's okay wherever she is. Yeah. But I remember being mortified. Isn't it funny these things happen to you in life and then people are like yeah but no one's gonna remember it. Memory bank. Sword. Lock and key safe. Oh my god. How many guys say a pantomime? Like a really good one?

Yeah. I really, really want to. Yeah. Cause they're camp as fuck. They're so camp. So camp. We were actually talking earlier and we have each decided to dream cast our ideal pantomime.

We've chosen Cinderella. I've gone for a very British icons list. Yeah, mine's a lot of Brit... mine's a lot of Britons okay should we go for let's go through the characters at the same time okay starting with cinders cinderella okay I've gone for charlie xx what the hell there's a big budget in my one okay I feel like she fits she'll fit into the kind of like world I'm creating of Cinderella yeah on the other end of that I've actually gone for Katie Price's Cinderella she's on my list too! Really? She's my fairy godmother! I know she's been doing the rounds but I think she'd be amazing she normally does a panty she does but I don't think she'd ever be you know

Cinderella gifted the role of Cinderella I put her down as my fairy godmother well I think her and Kara Katona are currently the ugly stepsisters somewhere in the UK. Let's find it now. And let's go. Put it on the expenses. Yeah. Do research. Yeah.

Oh my god. Okay, who's your fairy godmother? Oh, my fairy godmother is me because I want to be involved. Of course. Thank you. Okay, who have you got for your... Prince.

Yeah, Prince. 3, 2, 1. Jonathan Bailey. Sorry, sorry. You can't do both. We'll have to arm wrestle under him. Well, no, he can do mine on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays and then he can do yours on the Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays.

Okay, that's quite good. Katie Price has been under fire currently from her panto bosses because she can't stop vaping during rehearsals. Oh my gosh, she was vaping on a fucking Southern Western train the other day. North, Northwich Memorial Court. She's in Cinderella. Who's she playing?

Ugly Steps. I knew it, yeah, with Kara Kato now, Slay. Okay, I'm going to say what my Buttons is. Her only friend was Buttons. So mine is Leo Woodle from One Day. Cause he's got such kind eyes. I can imagine him being a really good friend to Katie. I always thought Buttons was kind of a mixture between,

like, Buttons is also kind of like the dame sometimes and the narrator. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh, sorry, Leo. So I've gone for Alan Carr. Oh brilliant. Yeah. Nice I see that.

He's very funny. Ugly Steps Sisters, I had two ideas. Okay. Two pairs. First one was Trini and Susanna. Oh they haven't come back, aren't they? I know but then I thought actually Patsy and Eddie from Absolutely Famous.

Oh my god you smashed it there. Yeah. I actually put the ugly stepsisters as Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo because I'd love for them to work together. Yeah. And hold space for them at Christmas. I hold space for that idea actually.

Maybe you do win that. Thank you. Any other Christmas traditions you might have? Not so much really. As a child. No, do you know what? I think what I've come to learn as an adult is that actual Christmas Day sucks ass. It's all about December the 1st to the 24th, maybe even November the 30th to December the 24th. Like, I'm just not about Christmas Day. Christmas Day, I do love Christmas Day.

Um, I do tend to ruin Christmas Day every year. Oh yeah, you do don't you? I do, quite a lot. There's quite a few stories. But the big tradition for us is everyone goes out on Christmas Eve. Part of me misses like, we used to have like picnic food and just like played games, but as we've got older, all of my friends go out in the town and everyone, like my mum and dad will go out, but they'll go home at like seven or eight. Sensible. Sensible.

Most years I struggled to come home at a relatively normal time. One year I fell asleep at the bus stop, lost my phone, my keys and my wallet. Nice. Was so hungover, managed to like crawl my way back to my mom's house, five o'clock in the morning. Ho, ho, ho!

I got like a heart attack. She was like, get in now. And I was like, Merry Christmas. And then was so violently hungover and my mom knew that. So she was like, she did the same thing to me when she woke me up at like eight o'clock. I was like, could have stayed in till nine or 10. And then I was like on the

toilet trying not to be sick. I get a knock at the door and it's my dad answers it and he's like, oh Billy there's someone to see you. I'm like not now please. I'm trying not to be sick. Billy come down. And I'm like not now. He's like no you need to come to the door and say thank you someone's just dropped off your wallet. Oh my god. And I was like oh my god. And I was like, oh my god. And then I come down and I was like, oh, the person had gone by then and I was like, sorry, thank you, I'd forgotten that. And then five minutes later I opened a present and my mum and dad had wrapped up my phone

because I had also lost that. That's incredible. And my friend had dropped it around early the next day, that day. Wow, they're true Christmas elves of Santa's past. Wow. You're very lucky with that. Just things turn up, don't they? Sometimes, not all the time.

Oh yeah, not all the time. Not all the time. Cancel all my insurance claims. It's not easy, is it? Oh my God, I did have this one of a crazy Christmas Eve story. So similar scenario to that one, but we were all out. Then the band stopped playing Christmas songs at midnight.

And me and a couple of friends were like, oh, why don't we go to the club in the next town? I know somebody who works in the VIP bit. We get us in for free. So we get a taxi over and she's like, Billy, just don't try not to embarrass me. Yeah, try not to be like too yeah? Try not to be too silly. I think there's a load of people

from like TOWIE and stuff there. What? And so we go in and we go up the stairs to where the VIP is and I'm like, best behavior, best behavior, cool, cool. And I'm like, oh, I actually don't care much about these people anyway. And then on the way down to the bar,

she's in front of me, I slip, slide down the entire flight of stairs in front of the whole bar, she sat on me like a fucking sleigh ride. Who's she? Briony. Oh I thought you were going to say it was a Tally cast member. So you're acting as a sledge for a fucking... One of my friends is just going down like that and we like land at the bottom and I like make sure she's okay and then I just walk straight out of the bar and go home. Oh my god. That was the sign that I needed to leave that venue and take myself home for Christmas. Wow, how festive.

Won't be doing that this year, nothing like that. Poor Bryony. I know, she doesn't let me. The human sledge. I was the human sledge. Oh wow. She was like laying on me like. Oh, you were underneath.

Because I'd gone down first, taking her out. Oh God, lucky girl. It was really quite traumatic. Yeah, that's v first, taking her out. Oh, God. That was a fucking girl. It was really quite traumatic. Yeah, that's vile. You poor boy. Yeah, no, I'm not about getting that drunk, but I did go out for the first time, actually, on Christmas Eve last year. What happened was very chaotic.

It was the first time going back to my boyfriend's local town. So on that night I was meeting a lot of new people, which I then went on to meet again throughout the year and reintroduced myself to them for the first time, which just says how probably drunk I was. Yeah, but people do that all the time. Yeah. I do that all the time. Yeah, you, people you. So on Christmas day I was groggy. Groggy is the word.

And you just got to slap back into it in a British Christmas, don't you? I do, you do. Back on the mimosas. Thank you so much. Normally I'm so hungover that like, my mum is there like, oh, you hungover? Have one.

But that's the only bridesmaids, but she's like, actually, I'm feeling great. I'm loving it. Mm, how about that? How about that? Your stomach just gurgling. Just kind of like roaring. Do you still eat your dinner?

I just normally like late in the day. Really? Yeah, I'm always starving. Absolutely ravenous. I'm a bit starving. I'm like, make sure there's canapes, make sure there's snacks, because I am a picky eater.

I like to pick. Yeah, yeah, I love that. I was thinking about like, what is my, generally I was talking to someone about this the other day, my earliest memory in life, not just a Christmas memory, is waking up at my nan's on Christmas morning, and I was crawling next to this crawling Mickey Mouse toy, it was like animatronic, wait, is that animatronic? Is that, did I make that up? this crawling Mickey Mouse toy. It was like animatronic.

Wait, is that animatronic? Did I make that up? Yeah, that's right. I think that's something on CGI. I don't think that's what I had in my dance living room. Moves and stuff. Okay. And I asked my mum when this was in my life. She said, I think you were about one and a half. Do you remember being born? Am I a fucking child prodigy or something? I remember being as small as a toy that was just like next to me.

Really? That's crazy. What is that? Christmas with Nan's is always so much better, isn't it? Sorry, don't use that. Oh, rest in peace. One of my notes was Christmas, my Nan always made Christmas so special

and it's like hard to actually, but how, what was it she did that like, I try and do everything that she did, like even just like little decorations. It's so true. It's so hard to have like the touch that like, grandparents have. It's just like specific, I was gonna say sensual,

sensory, sensual memories of my nan. So sensory memories, like looking up at the Christmas tree really close and you know, those like particular multicolored lights with like Christmas tree really close and you know those like particular multicolored lights with like the flower crowns and you'd step on them when you were doing the thing. Every year about a fair or my nance cat precious would pull the tree down in the middle of the night.

So then it got smaller and smaller every year. And it ended up just being like just a small one person thing, but I would do anything. And then I love the little like ornaments of like the little people in the towns and the jewelry box. Love it, I love it. But our generation, they're just not really about that, are they, two towns?

I agree, and do you know what? Bold statement, I think the Kardashians have ruined Christmas. Oh. Hear me out. Because they overshare so much of their lives and they're partly responsible for enforcing aesthetics on people.

People see how the Kardashians, you know, celebrate Christmas and they're not going around with like shitty bits of tinsel, some colorful lights, you know, ornaments that mean stuff. They're buying massive wholesales of decorations every year for an aesthetic. People are watching that and being like, oh, I need to do that, I wanna do that.

They're losing the love and the thought that goes into these special Christmas moments. They print their own Christmas wrapping paper. Have you seen that? It's a competition. It's a competition. And then everyone's also just kind of like trying to match that level of like unrealistic expectation.

And people then are oversharing their Christmases online, which therefore people are just constantly comparing Christmases. And then people can't just enjoy the day without feeling like oh that Christmas dinner is better than mine or at least my Christmas dinner doesn't look like that. You know and it's just like this little bit of like nasty competitiveness that I think has been kind of enforced because of them. The beige Christmas. I've actually enforced a bit of enforced because of them. The beige Christmas. I've actually enforced a bit of a rule for myself.

I either delete Instagram or I stay off of it for the Christmas day. Yeah, I think that's a good rule. I just can't, I know comparison is a thief of joy and I should be really grateful for what I have in that moment, but I think it's really natural to just go on there and just see- 100%.

Abundance, but then maybe I am at a good point in my life and I've kind of turned a thing because I realize I'm abundant in so many other ways. Yeah. But I think. That's nice. I think sometimes it can just take you out of the present when you're just scrolling through the feeds

of strangers' lives that you really shouldn't be seeing their Christmas day. Exactly, that's the other thing, yeah. Like back at those nostalgic Christmas back in the day, like you didn't know what everyone was doing. It would be when you come into school and then you spoke about it. And then if you didn't have a good Christmas,

then it would only be like a passing conversation in January. People didn't feel so bad about their own situation. I will sit there like on Christmas, if I'm on Instagram and I will see everyone's full day, why is everyone broadcasting their entire day at Christmas when it's supposed to be like, you know, it's the one day of year that like everyone, like we know, looks forward to and yet I'm sitting there watching them spend their Christmas day. Well, yeah, I feel bad for like parents of like the Sephora kids these days, like young

children, like there's so much pressure on parents, like, so a fucking Christmas Eve basket, back in my day I'd be happy with a carrot and some fucking cookies and milk and some flour and boots on the kitchen thing. You had to dress up as Santa for those cookies and carrots. Yeah, like there's just so much pressure to make it such a spectacle. And maybe let's just go back to the old days.

Yeah, I'm a big fan that like people are starting to ditch aesthetics at Christmas now. I feel like we've both done it. Like a lot of our friends are doing it. Yeah, we love that. You know, going for kind of like a mixed match of decorations that actually have a little bit of sentimental value.

Like you picked it up when you're on holiday or you've been to a festival. That's it, a new ornament every year is a good new tradition. Or multiple, like I might start doing, I've not done it yet, but I'm going to. I bought a Christmas ornament in New York last year. I might start buying ornaments like just when you go on holiday.

Yeah, throughout the year. Cause most places do quite nice ones. Sure, but yeah, on that Instagram, also people posting their roast dinner, thoughts on that? Yeah, people feel really passionate about it. Yeah, get a life. It's a bit annoying, but it's not like, ugh. Yeah, like people are like, do furious rage posts

about like, if I see one more Christmas dinner. Relax, babe. It's a plate of food, give them a break. Step away from the phone. Yeah, just like, I think they're as bad as the people who are posting. Actually, I think they're worse. They are worse. People that are getting so enraged by someone's plate of dinner that like, get a life. Yeah, it's true. It's true. I had a vivid memory come

up the other day. Obviously, I was like an only child in a family of like adults. So every Christmas, it would just be like me as the child amongst all these older people and that meant obviously I'm starting to enjoy my shandies, my snowballs, my you know. Pints of Guinness. My hard liquor and there's a table with everyone else. But I specifically remember one year my mum doesn't drink and she must have got gifted like this Louis Roderich champagne and I would obviously have a taste for the stuff. At Christmas. I would, there was this Louis Roderich champagne which I looked up.

The RRP is £60 British pounds. I would go run downstairs after school and just swing it. I would swing the champagne just as like a little sweet treat. You should be a child alcoholic. Well no, I wouldn't have the whole bottle. Right. Just a little sip. Little sip. With should be a child alcoholic. Well, no, I wouldn't have the whole bottle. Right. Just a little sip. Little sip with a bit of caviar.

Yeah, no, it's just fancy. But I think it was when we were run out of all the fizzy drinks in the house, the squash, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm not gonna drink water. Veg-marsh-ler. Literally.

Yeah. No, I get that, okay, cause I do have a taste for fizzy drinks. Yeah, you can relate. I know. I was gonna say like one fizzy drinks. Yeah, you can relate. I know. I was gonna say one thing about Christmas mornings. My mum and dad used to put a lot of effort into setting these toys up.

And my dad actually, I think it's quite a traumatic experience for him because he would build this Hogwarts Lego castle. Or this Peter Pan boat one year. Or this massive tank. You would have loved it. I fucking I just Peter Pan boat one year or like you would love to I fucking want to be a pan But each one took him hours to create a good dad really good dad Um, and it started one year when I was about three or four built this like Thomas a tank engine track set And I came in and I was like and and just like crashed into it, broke it all in seconds.

That is so you. He like packed it up so furiously and put it in the loft and it's still in the loft today. I like the same with the Peter Bambaric ship because I was quite a boisterous child and like really I used to be like yeah. What the? I was like the same thing with the Hogwarts castle. I was like, oh, they're under attack! Throw things at it. And then it was just being left in rubble. And he said he just can't talk about Christmas morning. Oh my God.

To be fair, I'm with your dad. Nothing fucking rages me more. I don't think I can be that kind of calm parent that's like, just let kids be kids. The other day I hoovered and I was happy with the way it looks then my housemate came in and just like walks along the carpet. I was like, I'm fucking done now. Just literally drop one thing on the carpet. What's the point in that? I definitely got shouted at as well.

Yeah. Hey, I've been fucking hours. And I'm like, I was told to play with it. This is me playing with it. One more thing I have to say about why I think Christmas. And another thing. This is another thing. I think Christmas, the lead up to Christmas isn't as special anymore since the X factor

stopped being the X factor. Oh my God, at least someone said it. Yeah, it needed to be said. Nothing will ever bring me as much Christmas joy and specular than watching Alexandra Burke take the stage. The exact visual in my head with the big Christmas tree behind. Ladies and gentlemen, I cannot believe I'm about to introduce you, my hero, Beyonce. Beyonce.

Oh my god, Billy, I agree. And obviously we've got One Direction with Robbie Williams. We've got Matt Carball, Matt Cardle with Rihanna. Rihanna, Rihanna Jackson did it with Kylie. Who remembers Leon Jackson? I remember all of them up until around Little Mix. That is amazing. That is when Christmas was good.

And that was back in the time I wouldn't mind staying in on a Saturday night. Yeah, the Christmas songs I used to do as well. A hero comes along. That wasn't Christmas, that was charity. Oh, it was a charity song. My bad, my bad! Oh my God, I couldn't agree more.

Hallelujah by Alex Orenjaburke was the first song I bought on iTunes. Yeah, yes! These days it's not a Christmas film that will get me into Christmasy spirit. I'll just put that on. Yeah, honestly. Wow.

That was also then followed by Just Dance by Lady Gaga. Mm, what? That makes you feel Christmassy? No, that doesn't make me feel Christmassy, but I bought that one the same day I bought Hallelujah. Nice. Hallelujah. I was rooting for Alexandra the whole way through.

She's doing pantomime this year. Let's go. Full circle. Wimbledon Theatreime this year. Let's go. Full circle. Wimbledon theater. No, we have to go. That is crazy, I just remembered something. Duke from Tracy Beaker is in Duke Whittington. Is that the thing?

Duke Whittington? Duke of Whittington, yeah, Duke Whittington? Is that the, no. What's the name of the pantomime? What are you? Mime. Something Whittington, Dick Whittington. Dick Whittington.

Dick Whittington. So Duke from Tracy Beaker is in Dick Whittington, Dick Whittington. Dick Whittington. Dick Whittington. So Duke or Josie Beaker is in Dick Whittington somewhere around Walthamstow, let's go there. Yeah, let's do all of them. Yeah, tour de fucking Rideau Twankey. Oh, I need, yeah, Christmas watching Alexandra Burke, like smash it out of the park every week. And then finally, performing Beyonce,

you can't ask for a better run on a TV show really, can you? Well, this is what it's all about. Also, sorry, going off topic, but do you know why Beyonce did that performance? Charity? No, because I'll get into it with you. Earlier that year, Simon Cowell had slagged Beyonce off and said, oh, Beyonce's not that much of a good singer. She's all right, but I don't think she's all that. Beyonce's father, who she was being married to at the time. My dad and her father.

Dad and her father, had words with Simon Cowell and was like, I did not respect the things you said about Beyonce, you've clearly not watched her perform. And so then Simon Cowell invited her to come onto the show, she was a massive star, obviously. And so she came on and was like, I don't know where I belong, but I'll be moving on. Did the whole like big bit of Alexander Burke

and Simon, and then she looked at him at the end and was just like, anything to say? Wow. And so after that was like, I held my hands up and actually she was the best thing I've ever heard in my life. That is amazing. That is basically equivalent of when my mum came into school because I said that the EF

student had a knife in his sock. Well Billy what are your plans this week this year? This weekend? This weekend? Gosh what are my plans for Christmas even Christmas Day you mean? No just generally in the month of December, month with a G in the middle of it. I always like to go and have a look at the Christmas lights. Nice. There's special wicked stuff. Oh yeah, we've got liberty. Liberty, I'd like to go see that place.

See the Christmas lights, maybe do a little Christmas bar crawl. I have a lot of birthdays in December. Very inconvenient, sorry to say. Sorry to say it. There are only minimal amounts of weekends so if you cannot have your birthday in December we'd be really grateful. Like there's three weeks before Christmas in December. I have two birthdays on different weekends. So annoying. So that gives me one weekend to celebrate Christmas in December. I'm obviously joking, it's not annoying. We love celebrating on friends. It's always fun, it's an excuse to go out

and I think that's why I end up doing so much in the weeks. Like going for Christmas dinners, trying Christmas presents. Lots on. Yeah. Doing Christmas cocktail nights. Cocktail nights, Secret Santa. Secret Santa.

We're actually doing, I'm actually going to the ballet next week. I'm going to see Swan Lake. Oh, that's exciting. Which is really exciting because I really associate Christmas with Billy Elliot and he dances Swan Lake at the end of it. I hope it's better than the time we went to the Royal Albert Hall for Christmas carols. Oh my god one year we went to the Royal Albert Hall and they were Tories.

They were like they did like it was really fine, and then all of a sudden, I mean, yeah, big shock. I mean, we should have accepted it. But they got up and they did a whole spiel poem about wokeism. And I was like, as a woke person, I'm missing something. Literally. Wasn't it also in lockdown? Do we have to sing behind our masks?

Oh my god, I think I had like stuffing balls and my breath smell. Nice! And we also broke into a local... Student union. Student union because they do £2.50. Pines! And it was a Tory area, so the pines were really expensive. Hacks. Yeah, amazing. Well, I hope...

What have you got planned? Okay. Sorry, I feel like you asked me the question. No, I just, I'm going to the ballet. I'm going to York, actually. Oh, that is, I really want to do that Christmas. I am. I'm going to see the York Christmas markets and I'm going to the spa on the way back because

it's such a stressful time of year. I need a massage. That's so lovely. Yeah. That is so nice. Oh and I'm throwing a Christmas party which should be really exciting. Love that. But to our listeners if this is the last time we speak to you before, Quizmois we love you so much thank you for joining us for the whole of this year and we hope you have an amazing day. Amazing Christmas. Um. Goodbye. Bye.

Bye bye.