Tea at Four - Molly-Mae’s breakup tea, McDonalds foreplay and a yellow Marigolds fetish

Episode Date: August 28, 2024

This week, the huge gossip of Molly-Mae’s recent breakup sparks Lauren and Christie to talk about where they were when they found out about other iconic or shocking pop culture moments. Lauren reminisces about tragically missing the premiere of High School Musical 2, and her and Christie both have memories of their poignant reactions to Michael Jackson’s death. The girls also read out a fetish confession sent in from an audience member, detailing the very specific lust for yellow rubber gloves, and we play our fan favourite game of Don’t Spill The Tea which has some reeeally strange stories about McDonalds in the bedroom, and a debate about the correct way to wipe after a number 2… If you want us to read out any of YOUR dilemmas or confessions, you can send in anonymously to [e-mail]. And please do let us know what you think of this episode in the comments feature!

Right, well, I have to ask. Now, obviously, the dust has settled a bit. Yeah. How did you hear about Molly May? Sure, I think... I was at work. Where were you when you found out? I was at work and it ruined my day.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Because out of all people... I know. Molly of the May. Uh-huh. The one and the only.

Where were you when you found out? I was at work as well babe were you working from home because if we were in the same room we would have been doing a prayer circle no literally i feel like we're all at home actually was it a monday no no no babes you were working from home that day i was in work shaking this can't be true can't be true yeah someone said the other day they're in a meeting and they just kept seeing pop up on their phone like molly may molly many molly may stop it yeah i couldn't believe it i just felt like you know it's so weird that they were like the it okay they were oh my god yeah not they are oh oh they were like the it couple yeah and then all of a sudden it's like i know and she doesn't speak much so i think for

her to come up and like post that it's like with her chest like what my daughter what did she actually say in the post i don't know she was like i didn't something along the lines i didn't expect i didn't ever imagine me like writing this something like that and that's how you know i do feel like he fucked up but yeah yeah because you can be incredibly private about these things depending on how much you respect your partner but if your parent if your parent if your if your spouse has disrespected you yeah and you put that on blast right hours after the skips in the front garden the next day stuff has gone down but you know what i do feel like she saved herself in a way of posting it first because if the videos that supposedly were trending or that supposedly she's seen

were out before that she herself made a statement yeah i think that i think the scandal would have been as big i feel like we'll still be talking about it right now she girl bossed it yeah she did yeah she's that it girl she's always been the it girl yeah i don't think it would have been her style it's just like you know when you can't start archiving the pictures in your feeds and then people are like i don't know yet well how she did it like you know usually if that was me i found out my fiance because they they were engaged yeah cheated or whatever he did I probably would just

remove myself off social media I feel like that's the thing you search me and I will not be there that's what I did my breakup

I cold turkeys did you attention seeking I can't tag you what's going on I think that's what I would have done I don't know

like yeah that's valid well it's funny this whole debacle it really got me thinking obviously the way my world stopped turning finding out this news I imagine it's like my parents generation finding out about Princess Diana sorry to make the comparison okay yeah okay but me seeing those words come that black screen with that writing on top, fucking hell. Oh my God. Do you know what's so crazy? Like, do you remember where you were when Queen Elizabeth? So, yeah, of course I was getting an Invisalign appointment.

You? That I obviously didn't go through with at the time. Yeah. I was like, this is much too much. And it was just too much of a big evening. And it was, there was such a weird somber feeling in the air. Really? And I remember just being conned out

for like £400 for this Invisalign consultation. Come out, Queen's dead. Couldn't have got any worse. I'm not laughing at the Queen being dead, but that is absolutely hilarious. You danced on the table. I was dancing on the table. I was in Mykonos for my friend's birthday.

And I just remember getting like, my phone's ringing. I'm thinking, what's going on like who's ringing you my sister i'm just like the eagle has fallen it's like 11 i think it was like 10 p.m so we're literally going out you know yeah they love a napkin napkin yeah pump whatever so wine in hand napkin and everything get like my phone's buzzing i'm thinking what's going on my sister thinking clearly you can message me i'm i'm on holiday leave me alone i pick up but she goes she's dead i'm like huh no so i'm thinking who's dead at this point i'm thinking

it's a family member like what's going on she all she kept saying she's dead she's dead i was like who's dead and my friend's like are you okay like who's dead lizbeth lizbeth like lizbeth lizbeth and then i was like who you talking about lizzie's dead lizzie's dead i was like no way yeah so literally i think what we did was like we went into like our bags like oh my god where's the notes wait what what notes like our wallets and like oh the money money yeah started wavering our notes kind of like you know using those napkins taking it down literally we were in shock you were actually in shock yeah that's funny yeah funny thing about not funny thing about the queen

dying sorry let me reword that yeah um as well as molly may and then thinking about how where were you when the queen died it made me think what other moments of my 28 years of living were there a core memory moment i know exactly what i was doing where i was at that moment so carrying on with the deaths okay michael jackson do you remember where you are for that i was in my bed it's what i realized yeah every every like hi i'm always in my bed like like every like high profile person that's passed away is somebody telling me so i was in my bed sleeping because i had school the next day yeah and i remember my cousin blackberry times messaged me i went downstairs and i was bawling my eyes out my mom was like what's going on what i was actually i had a i mourned michael jackson really were you a big fan i because i wanted to go to the, was it the 20, yeah, the concert coming up.

Yes, yeah, this is it. Yeah, this is it. And I was, you know, excited to go. And I cried like a baby. Oh my God. I cried like I'd never cried before. Oh my God. Yeah, it's weird.

I think Michael Jackson was a bit of a funny one because when he died, I actually hadn't had anyone in my life that had passed away. Really? So I passed away really it's an opportunity to like practice grief for the first time didn't give a flying rat's ass about this man in life but as soon as my mum my friend's mum walks in at a sleepover was like mickey jay's dead i went are you kidding me like he was a close family friend flag half mast oh my god my mom has to come pick me up my mom has to come pick me up right now my days learned i know i didn't think did you feel the emotions though i felt the emotion i just felt like it was collectively the world was in horror 110 it was percent. It was everywhere. Everywhere. Yeah. Everywhere.

I think the songs made it worse because they played all his like sad songs. I was like, okay guys, it's like, come on. Upbeat. Put Billie Jean on. It's not bad.

Yeah. That's a good one. Some other ones that I remember exactly where I was at the time. Avicii dying. What? Avicii? Come on. Opera singer?

Levels? Opera singer. Who is Avicicci avicci died i think in 2020 he was he was uh um 2018 2018 how do you spell him wait no 2018 did i apparently oh i must have had a second second rush of how do you spell avicci 20th of april 2018. A-V-I-C-I-I. That's not right then, because I got upset about it in a car in 2020. What? He must have been playing on the radio. He was 28. Yeah. Oh, he was very young.

He was a bit of a classic. Another one, you might know this one, Mac Miller. Do you remember that one? Yes, yes, yes. No, exactly. I was lying in a bed in a hostel in Galway. Oh. Crying, tear rolling down my eye.

No, that was actually quite sad I think I was scrolling on 2018 really back when there was a lot of tragic deaths like yeah oh yeah I was definitely on Twitter that was everywhere on Twitter was like and that's the year that Severus Snape died as well isn't it anyone what's his name okay alan rickman was that 2018 2016 26 fuck um i remember where alan rickman yeah severus snake okay some other ones um when zane left one direction oh yes i was that was sad i was sitting it was like i feel like it's a sunday or something and and i i wasn't that upset actually as a big One Direction fan, I felt it was coming.

I think I was happy for him because I felt like in One Direction, he wasn't, okay, not to say that you wasn't the it guy, but you wasn't the it guy. Oh.

Can I? Yeah. Right? He went into a bit of the background in the last couple of years. There you go. He had the pretty face, but he didn't have too much of the...

Oh, he has the voice he's got everything now he does i feel like he was a dark horse i think that's the way it is and i feel like he didn't have that kind of limelight so i was actually happy for him to like detach yeah and you know do it by himself but i'm in his own light there you go yeah i can give him that absolutely it was a moment of growth yeah growth um another one is when High School Musical 2 premiered on Disney Channel. You cried? Well, no, I didn't cry. Basically, I was fuming.

My mum finally gets the money together to take me on holiday. But annoyingly, it's the same weekend that High School Musical 2 is coming out. My friend was having a sleepover of the High School Musical 2 premiere. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Can you delay that or something? And I was like, mum, I don't? Can you delay that or something? And I was like, mum, I don't know if I want to go on holiday.

What? Because that doesn't align with my... Because of High School Musical. That's so funny. I didn't have Disney at home, right? So I had like, TF1.

Obviously, I told you I used to watch Tintin, so French channels at home. What's TF1? It's like, TF1 is like BBC One for... C'est la marte. It's called Television France One. Right. French channels what's TF1 it's like TF1 it's like BBC 1 for the television France 1 right

yeah TF1 um and so imagine coming into school everybody's like

the playground would break into sing song and I'm just there like what was that yeah what the hell are you guys singing

does anyone know the tinted theme song give me one like what's going on so it pissed me off that i was not in the know and you know obviously you know how back in school people do like the little like back and forth that they will have in um high school musical like the little dialogue there you go yeah it's called dialogue and i'm just like okay guys back to the program can we

talk about eastenders or something else like because i don't know what's going on. So I was forced, during IT lessons, going on YouTube, searching High School Musicals. Oh, bless you. Learning the words. Yeah, learning the words, trying to get into the gist of it.

But that was a quite sad time. But I do love High School Musical. Oh, yeah. When it came out on DVD. That's good. When it came out on DVD, fair. Okay, well, you'll like this one. Okay.

You might know this. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when Nana Moon died on EastEnders. Need I say more? What were you doing,

Lauren? National mourning. Yeah. I remember being so young and again having really experienced grief. I was like,

I love that. That's why I love it. Yeah. And it was a special Christmas episode and literally they were sat in the living room and i think alvy bent forward to change something in like a snowman and then sat back and she's like she's just yeah she just exactly like that can you imagine imagine but actually after that it actually made me have this kind of weird fear of death since then because i for some reason i connected death with the idea of like when i die yeah and he's done a program like he says he's going to carry on way after i'm not here yeah and like that idea of something being like infinite when you put it like that it's like it's

actually quite crazy because then it's like yeah um who's gonna be watching it for me well who's gonna be like i feel like my you know offsprings and like yeah they should come to my group i'd be like so auntie or grandma christy today you missed this no no they'll just put they'll play the omnibus next year or something let's have it play no but no joy is no that's actually a good thought you know yeah that used to freak me out i don't like death and there's something about the world carrying on without me especially in the form of tv shows is like god we're not around here forever but he send us probably will be and it's one of those where of course because i went and started it from the beginning so it's like oh you guys are used to

watching you guys are missing the storylines hopefully he's sending us upstairs in heaven but imagine if they that something brings all these old people back to life like from the cloud and they're like oh i can't wait to see nana moon on this friday's episode oh my gosh no that's a good one anyway funny this the last one was a bit dark it was it wasn't i i hear it but then it's yeah where was i was probably watching it so i was probably crying whilst it was playing on tv it was it was a sad time yeah um very funny anyway should we get to what we're actually gonna do this episode yeah what are we doing so we've been sent in a dilemma okay that we obviously love reacting listening to hashing out keep sending them guys keep sending them um but i'm really intrigued by this one they've

they've amped this up a bit producer bob has been very sneaky not really saying much about it so we're kind of like intrigued to see let's see well go on do you have it um well have you sent it on something i sent it to you on slack lauren okay yeah so it's okay yeah obviously this is our i think second third fetish that we've had okay oh fetish so we've had the benny button we've had a collect the henry not henry henry ho Yeah, Henry. And falling down the stairs. Yeah. All right, Lauren. Okay. Right. Lauren's face.

Interesting one. Okay. I found out that my boyfriend has a fetish for rubber gloves, in particular, my yellow marigolds. Is that the one that you wash the dishes with? Yellow rubber gloves, yes. Okay, cool. This all became apparent one day whilst he was over at my house and i was doing some washing up in the kitchen i was wearing my

marigolds like i always do as i hate the thought of wet food on my hands or going under my nails fair i like to get my nails done and keep them nice and clean and i'm sure most girls the same my boyfriend came into the kitchen and said hello to me and looked at me for a couple of seconds before sitting down on the sofa. I continued to wash the plates and noticed there was a cup where he was sitting. I called him and asked him to bring it over to me and wash it and he said yes I will in a minute. I said I was almost done and I needed it now. He got up and brought it over to me but he was walking strange and was turned to the side a bit and seemed really awkward. Okay, the image in my head right now is a bit mad, but go on.

I thought you were going to say like he's twiddling the cap on his willy. I've got it wrong. I've got it wrong. I asked if he was okay and he said, yes, I'm fine. As he looked at me with the gloves, he was wearing shorts and I glanced down and noticed he was rock hard. I asked him if he was feeling okay and his face went bright red. I asked him if the gloves turned him on or something and he seemed to get even more nervous but he blurted out yes. I kind of giggled at it and told him I'd never heard of

that sort of fetish before but I wasn't put off by it. I finished my cleaning and left it at that. Two days later when we are going to bed I told him to get my charger in the locker beside his bed. Sorry, we're in High School Musical. What? Yeah. Little did he know, I had a little surprise in his locker. Yes, you guess it.

My yellow marigolds. Lol. Let's just say, I've never thought I'd be using a pair of rubber gloves on my boyfriend's dick, but here we are. I put them on and got to work.

And he was in the same hard situation in no time at all. Needless to say, it didn't take him long until there was a warm mess all over these good rubber gloves. Oh my days. I've never been able to look at a pair of rubber gloves the same since. Even when I go shopping and I'm buying a few new new pairs one for the bedroom now as they get used regularly anyways that's my story and i hope that you've enjoyed it as much as we now do sure okay question that's any rubber glove right i think specifically the merry girls christy yeah but then people have that in their houses so you're telling me when he goes back home oh and somebody like a family is using those gloves he's turned on

by that because hopefully it's having a girl i don't think he'd fancy his mum doing that i think that's yeah but you see how he was sitting down and she's doing the dishes. And that turned him on. He was rock on. So what exactly are you telling me, sir? Do you know what? I'm trying to think of this in a very generic way. In the same way some people sometimes like dressing up. Yeah. Furries are a thing.

Fears, yeah. People like tails and they like head masks. Yeah, fears. Some people like tails and they like head masks. Yeah, fair. Some people like washing up gloves. So basically, let's not go kitchen shopping because if we go kitchen shopping and we've got to pick up a pair of gloves, you're telling me on hour three, whilst those gloves are on the bloody belt,

you're getting rock hard. I can't imagine. That's too much friction there, no? Yeah, because it's like... And they have you know they have their little like grip things on it so that you yeah you know they have indents that's what it's called so um interesting interesting i i i don't think there's anything to that dilemma i think you're loving it yeah i think she's enjoying it i think they're both you know she says one in

the room and she you know maybe she needs sponsorship because if you're yeah you're writing it all the time yeah then hello hi that's quite interesting i mean i really appreciate how some people can you know bring up something like a fetish and then it'd be met with such yeah kindness it's true because then she could have been like weird out by it i do think the way it was written when i read it it just was giving fan fiction like oh do you know what i mean what fan fiction have you read right yes no one cleans in my fan fiction go on they're fucking i mean there's no harry styles literally um yeah that doesn't sound like fan fiction to me bobs yeah it's the way it's like giggled as i'm sure most girls like to get their nails done oh yeah it doesn't make sense girls do you like to cover their hands up they do yeah i yeah to be honest especially if it's like a fresh a fresh set you know really unpacked it though like what what's the element that's making him

i i just maybe like you said it's the fill of those gloves on him but at the same time i feel like if if she didn't say the first bit yeah i would be like okay maybe it's that but the fact that she was just washing the dishes or maybe whatever she was washing with like let's say for instance holding the cup and you're oh it's a bit phallic sorry yeah i just spat back at you yeah yeah i think it's probably that phallic. Sorry, I even spat. Yeah, I spat back at you. Yeah, I think it's probably that. And he's sitting there like, oh my God, like, you know. That's my Winnie, my Winnie the Sutter mug. Exactly, she's, you know, the forks, cutlery, everything.

Yeah, I think that's the way it is. She's thinking that could be, that really could be me if only she could, you know, use them hands on my little Winnie. All that suds and all that. All that dinner from last night yeah maybe it's that because i don't know what else it could be i had nothing i find sexy about washing up no oh my god no absolutely not i use a dishwasher now because i'm very lucky we can't put his willy in that i mean the last thing that we was a couple years back was years back i think the year year ago the

dishwasher story that was scary what was that don't you remember the guy that kept pissing right oh yeah right kept pissing in the dishes interesting well i think you put the nail on the head there yeah but then again maybe yeah maybe it's like something to do with textures maybe he had some fun times with a merry gold when he was younger could you not get like textured toys or something um yeah one for duarex or any sex company um merry gold the new thing in town and i'm pretty sure you've got two great um sponsors it's not called sponsors too great too great candidates candidates that's it to you know to promote your brand i feel like that could be a thing yeah yeah i wonder if sex gloves are a thing let me look that up maybe oh this is my work laptop so they'll probably flag that in some sort of manner.

Sex gloves are a thing. Okay, are they yellow like the Mary Golds? They are not yellow like the Mary Golds, but you can get massage... Oh, wait, no. Male-female flirting massage massage gloves. Ribbed teasing gloves. Spike relaxation. Spike? Massage tool.

I think this is a thing I think he loves the bumps and the lines and the the bumps and grinds he just wants the bump and grind

yeah I think it's a texture thing it must be a texture thing there's a reason why latex is like a is it latex a costume thing isn't it

she could wear the correct me if I'm wrong she could wear the Kill Bill costume with those gloves is that not yellow is it not she could wear the correct me if I'm wrong she could wear the Kill Bill costume with those gloves is that not yellow is it not

isn't it so she could actually wear that Halloween idea there you go Halloween's around the corner sis you got it surprise him even more

bun the locker put the whole kit on perfect put the whole kit on love it and thank you to that sender thank you thank you to that sender thank you

thank you very much and guys please do send some more send them in you can send them to us at tf4 at jugglecreations.com or DM us

on any of our socials or you can leave it in the Spotify comments because that's new yeah use the feature but don't go home yet because we've got some

to build the team yeah we're not done yet are we yay righty oh laura you know what time it is what time is it summer time no it's uh god high school musical 2 is really popping up today isn't it i actually watched that yesterday did you stop it yeah it's actually been like 10 years since it came out as well this week this week i want to watch it then i just googled since it came out as well this week this week

i want to watch it then i just googled it it came out on the 17th of august oh 17th of august yeah yeah this week when uh not wednesday last week yeah weird wow weird oh my god watch it sharp hey sharp hey, so this is the part of the podcast where you spill the tea and we try not to. Yeah. Let's go. I hope you've got some good ones today. They're all quite short ones.

My wife thinks I broke my phone by dropping it down the toilet while watching porn. I deny it but can't tell her the real reason, which is that I was trying to record the audio of a huge fart with a natural echo from the bowl no no next one i've only just discovered that greg's bakeries is not owned by greg wallace such a stupid okay i always have to take my watch off before I have a poo. It just doesn't feel right having the time that close to my bum. Why?

What the fuck? I don't know. Why? So where is the watch? On their wrist. So why is it close to the bum when they wipe

oh I thought you meant like he was having a poo with his arms swinging down by his side I was like what's going on where do my arms rest

on my poo on your hands usually on your like I never get this right this might be a very outlandish thing to say

but you know when people right oh god no no no wicks people gonna actually think i'm a freak but you know when it was oh you make sure you have to wash wash your hands after you you know you go to the toilet yeah my hands don't touch my ass yeah but they touch the toilet no the tissue the tissue touches my bum yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but like as for the actual my bodily cells that touch anything to do with poo or toilet or wee nothing touches just got a question i've been at recently how do you wipe is it not loads big bundle big bundle yeah and then justle of joy back there.

Do I fold it? Maybe sometimes I fold it. You've got to like... Would you say how do you wipe? Yeah. What's your strap? Step by... Play by play.

So you just take it from the thing, break it apart. I fold it. I'm a folder. Folder. Because I just don't... i feel like if if you layer the tissue it will it's further away from your hands yeah yeah yeah i do the same i do the same i saw this amazing sorry i saw this amazing team you gadget the other day where you just

basically put this thing down it and it foams and fizzes up enough so that you poo on the foam and then it doesn't make a noise in the surrounding toilets that's amazing okay to be honest i i i i hear that because i hate anti-splash yeah is it called anti-splash i call it anti-splash when like let's say you drop one in it it's right yeah i hate that that i think that's my fear like yeah I don't know what toilet water is this thing is supposed to get rid of it it's like a little bath where you put it in but if someone catches you

like fizzing and like doing potions in the toilet or what you're gonna get the next cubicle you're hearing is literally yeah

so do you not wipe when you poo then no we do of course we wipe of course you have to wipe because then you've got no yeah you have to so you know it's a thing from history they used to Of course. You have to wipe because then you've got... No, yeah, you have to.

So, you know, it's a thing from history. They used to use shards of pottery to wipe their bum. And also their hand at one point. No, thank you. So not even toilet paper, just their God-given hands. I stand up. What? I stand up as well.

Do you? Yeah, I stand up. What do you stand up? Everyone shouts at me for this because the poo gets smooshed. Oh, you stand up before you... Really out on yourself. do you not sit and wipe i find that harder i know i've i'm not a full erect yeah so you kind of like i've got to do some fucking yoga and it's really annoying and then my watch will definitely get dirty and i I don't want the time near my bum. Yeah, I'm not like this, but I'm definitely like...

At least at a cute angle. Is that what it's called? Oh, I thought you meant cute like... That was so big. Yeah, you just got to make sure you grab all the nooks and crannies. The scariest thing, you know, in our office over in the other thing, I like to go in the one that has got... The mirror on the side, right?

The mirror on the side, which through the blurriness has another office and I just imagine myself standing up and in that acute angle in my and they're just watching from there sorry Lauren no let us know do you guys stand do you guys sit

that's actually quite interesting you know do you stand or go in an acute angle when you wipe or do you like it's equivalent to kicking your leg angle when you wipe? Or do you like, oh, just a little. Yeah. It's equivalent to kicking your leg up when you're having a kiss. So true. See?

Boom. That's amazing, Christy. Thank you. Okay. I once had a girlfriend who liked to reach around and hold my penis while I peed. Weird. So I. I get it. I get it i get it i get that what you know it's just like that whole thing it's just like oh what would it be like to be a man for the day well i'll never get to actually

do that if a genie if a genie was to give me a wish genies don't exist so if i was to go around and pretend i had that motion at least I half get to see what it's like so you're holding that that's me that's not that me so you would happily hold it whilst they're peeing um yeah no maybe not that whole action but I would love to just can you just just put on a strap

have an extension of myself yeah put on a strap on no Christy I'm gonna piss through a strap on. No, Christy. I'm going to piss through a strap on. Can you imagine? A shiwi. A shiwi.

A shiwi, yeah. No, it's not the same. They're not the same. Oh, yeah, it's not the same. Not the same as a penis. Sorry, do you know why I keep laughing? Like, you see the reflection? It's killing me. I'm thinking of the same.

Sorry. Oh, no, I can't. I can close my eyes when I'm sleeping. So I once knew a couple that liked to use McDonald's during foreplay. She'd put chicken nuggets all over her tummy, ketchup in her belly, and he'd use his mouth to dip the nuggets into the sauce and feed her. Oh, my belly button. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Yeah, sorry. Ketchup in her belly button. oh my god yeah sorry catch up with her belly oh my god sorry it does make sense though because you know those little you know when you eat in restaurant at mcdonald's and they get like they come in the little paper thing belly button is probably the same yeah the big thing yeah is your belly on the size of the paper have you had it before i'm just gonna your money on the size of the paper? Have you had it before? Next time, I'm just going to lay down on the thing

on the counter and I'm just going to be like, no, no, and no. Oh no. What the heck? That is not,

no. To be honest, it's okay because it's nuggets. If it was anything else on the McDonald's menu, I think I would have screamed. Why?

Like what? Like a burger or like a Big Mac. Do you know what I mean? Is there anything sexual about that, though? Or are you just eating with your partner? Yeah, I don't know. So it's just a dinner time confession.bang mukbang on my partner there you go um wow wow interesting interesting no i don't i like to keep my i'd like to keep my food my sex

separate i wouldn't like to mix my business with pleasure ice cream? ice cream yeah sure sticky though yeah but I used to get rashes around my mouth from McDonald's ketchup really? yeah sorry honesty hour

do you still? no was it? must have changed something in the sauce the McDonald do you still no was it okay maybe that yeah must have changed something in the sauce the McDonald would you give up

book Donald's for life or sex for life no no no no no don't ever don't ever put that to me I would have to give up

I would have to give up McDonald's because then I can't recreate yeah yeah you can adopt babies from the Ronald McDonald foundation because then I can't recreate. Yeah. Yeah, you can adopt babies from the Ronald McDonald Foundation. Fair. But then I want the kids to look like me.

Like, have a bit of me in there. So, yeah. Test tubes exist. You're right. Technology has improved, hasn't it? That means no McDonald's and they will never have McDonald's as well. I love it. I'm loving it.

Perfect. Cool. Any more? Yep. Okay. There's a few more. This reflection is big. Right.

Stop looking at your reflection. Because all it is is... You did this last time I gave you this cup. It's just my head and the two glasses. I just look like Jake. I look like Mr. Potato Head. Okay. Sometimes I pick my nose really obviously in public

just to see if anyone notices. If they do, they don't say anything. I thought that one was really sad. Watching the Olympics, I was inspired to get back out running as i've put quite a bit of timber on but i pulled a muscle trying to pull up my running socks the missus hasn't stopped laughing relate to that so hard as i get older i find my poos are increasingly messy and unpleasant often leaving me with the smell of shit on my hands, which I struggle to wash off.

I feel like an old Lady Macbeth trying in vain to wash my hands, but of shit, not blood. I take back what I said previously. Everyone should wash their hands. Yeah, please, and thank you. That did tie in nicely. Because that is... Maybe it's like intolerances and stuff.

People just aren't having solid stools can we can we mind our guts can we kind of see what we're eating yeah because messy poos that's the worst i don't i don't know that i'm perfect so mine just come out perfect and then i leave i love that because imagine when i miss you you're thinking there's a fart and there's a it's the actual uh can you like yeah let's let's let's yeah oh let's let's keep it pg here guys very demure i really don't yeah it's not very demure that what does that mean oh i keep seeing every demure what is the very demure what does it mean what is it on social media right and then you'll figure out five minutes no more extenders get on it's everywhere so right now you see how you just said

that so this conversation's not demure so it's not cool um it's very demure it's a very demure event a cutesy ladylike uh yeah basically very ladylike it's a trend it's a it's a legend it's a legendary trend um but that lady macbeth um vision in my head that is horrible thank you okay last one so it was my 18th birthday it was about 12 30 a.m at my house and my girlfriend of the time and i were lying on the couch watching a movie my family had gone to bed earlier and my girlfriend turns her head and says to me i'm going to give you your birthday present now we started going at it on the couch and everything's going well we're in the spooning position and there is a blanket covering us from the waist down

not too much motion at the time just some good grinding but i was balls deep in her the room suddenly got lighter but a very natural non-electric light my eyes look up to see my mother father and sister with a birthday cake walking into the room singing happy birthday while i'm balls deep in my girlfriend the ladies were too stunned to speak that is fucked up. Can you imagine? It's spooning.

No. That is mad. Oh my God. New Nightmare Unlocks. No, honestly. Because what do you do? The cake falls on the floor. Mum, dad says...

Screaming. Run out. So I actually carried on... So this was on a Reddit thread and I carried on reading the replies. Yeah. And they just... They carried on,

but they were... Because the blanket was covering them, they supposedly didn't know or at least they pretended not to, apparently. So they just had to finish the happy birthday song and then she went to cut the cake in the other room and then he took his penis out oh oh yeah but when you're young you're just doing it everywhere oh my god that is horrific that's that's a birthday that you will never forget

yeah like you might even have ptsd here and happy birthday this is not gonna be birthday because that's the day that maybe it's some kind of beautiful metaphor like this is how i was brought into this world this is how i'd like to celebrate oh wow wow wow yeah would you would you would you rush and get out of your partner or just no but you can't make a scene so you're basically you just gotta make sure that don't oh no but what if they're one of those families that like do that and many more as the one do you like because obviously if you're spooning you're back to that yes yeah

so you now turn i'm obviously thinking i'd be like do you get it and if obviously she's spooning she's on the front yeah in the candle shot i'll just go around and zenner do you know what i mean now go now wowza sorry to hear that happy birthday i'm trying happy birthday that's funny that's funny brilliant loved it what a good one thank you so much for watching this week's episode of t4 no honestly it was actually quite an intriguing interesting conversation i've learned some new things about merry girls that people you know use it for other alternative stuff merry girls molly may and it's another m mcdonald's mary girls mcdonald's or sex for life brilliant yeah no honestly guys if you guys enjoy that please be sure to comment down below send us your dilemmas and like check us out

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