Tea at Four - QUICK CUPPA: How Atomic Habits Can Change Your Life, Why November Is Cursed And Should We Be More Selfish?

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

Lauren and Christie sit down for a Quick Cuppa to chat about how to form atomic habits that can help improve your life, why November is going so badly for them already and whether or not we should just be buying Christmas presents for ourselves this year.

hi guys welcome back to tf4 um today we're about to have a quick cup of lauren and a quick is all it needs to be with the amount of rage that i'm feeling inside my body right now what's been going on how's your week been um how would you say something's off christy yeah something is out of whack yep i feel like november has the same energy as like january and february okay just yes they're just not needed yes yes yes yes and it's just like it's not quite Christmas um I think we've probably got some curse vibes from Halloween you know it is I feel like it's quite unfair see how Halloween's like one day and then all of a sudden we're talking about Christmas I think it's the curse of that

it's like how dare you dismiss me so quick like calm down I think that's what it is yeah and i'm feeling all the bad vibes in it yeah that month is violating me well october or november is oh just all of them so much to be honest i think this is actually the worst november for me tell us about it christy because um yeah just bad things have been happening like either like things breaking stuff accidentally woke up yesterday morning found out somebody crashed into my car but yeah it's just been oh it's very draining it's a draining kind of totally month and the month has it's only just started i completely agree and i think yeah equally as much as i'm complaining about things that are happening to me yeah it's actually quite good in making me reassess like what like why and how are the ways

that i'm consuming all these bad things or putting myself in the position to have these bad things happen to me i don't know i think i'm reassessing things like why my hormones out of whack why like my alcohol consumption i think like alcohol is a depressant if i'm not feeling that good in myself i'm feeling fragile about these little things that keep going on yeah the worst thing i could possibly do is go to the bottom of this branch or buy a bottle of pink moscato and damn it damn yeah is that rose though because i'm allergic to rose you don't like rose no i'm allergic you're allergic to rose yes explain that god i'm so i'm so that person that's just like always got something wrong with them i've got much housing syndrome much much what i think much housing syndrome never heard of that um it's where you like makeup that you've got things wrong with you all the time oh that's

this one's real this one's real i'm allergic to rose because um uh there's high sulfites in it so i usually get a big old congested nose and i get a headache and i'm like bending down to the floor oh no that's not good it's not hangover though yeah okay it's not your common hangover you know what's interesting what you said about reassessing yes um like you should reassess in situations and stuff i find that closer to the end of the year i'm more thinking about oh what if i'm not thinking i'm more like reflecting on if I could start let's say school again or start my career again what would I do differently um I think recently I was speaking to one of my friends little sister and she's in the work experience age bracket and I'm always

like they're so lucky they've got so much things going on for them if I could go back I'll do this differently so I think I was in that kind of like time period where we're like assessing life and our situations but also preparing for you know that new year resolution that's basically around the corner i'm 100 i think i have that similar panic when it comes to like christmas because it's that moment where you naturally do assess everyone that's around you yeah people energies you're buying gifts for who are your special ones? Oh, I'm not buying gifts for anybody this year, just myself. Okay. I feel like it's the- Max. No, no, no.

Lauren, DB is the year- At my family, at my friends. At everybody. It's the year of selfishness. I say fuck the presents and treat yourself. It's tea. No, honestly, guys, fuck the presents, treat yourself. Because I do feel like there's so much emphasis

of other people. People forget to think about themselves. So true. And self is so important that's how we're that's where i'm at right now like yeah it's nice to be the nice person you know be the person that's there for everybody else but who's there for you when you're going through your shenanigans you have to fill up your own cup thank you pardon the fucking puns but no i completely agree and i think when it all boils down to it yeah you've really got in

life as yourself yeah and i think if you're depleted of giving so much to other people yeah like especially around a time like christmas time and new year's where it is all about the people that are around you exactly and it does make you don't lose yourself yeah it makes you feel bad if let's say for once we're all going through the living crisis living crisis right yeah you want to do stuff for other people you're not able to do it don't put pressure on yourself yeah treat yourself treat yourself yeah selfish and that's not even treat yourself in terms of like oh buy a fancy big bag this could just be a small croissant on the weekend oh i'm here for a little date yeah bell chocolat and some hot chocolate pan of chocolat yeah i get two pastries every weekend gifts for me do you know it is that's like um last week right

i came into the office and i bought myself a starbucks and i was like jesus christ 11 pounds for a cheeky starbucks i said you know what 11 pounds i said i ain't buying this again in the next four months but i said to myself no what do you why are you punishing yourself fucking price please starbucks the price down but why am i punishing myself and kind of like waiting for me oh when i deserve it then i should go and get it i should get if i want i really want to get what i'm trying to say there's a lot there's so much like what's the word pressure and structure on us like okay you can't spend too much you can't do a little bit yeah i'm just at the point where it's like fuck everything yeah this is just a phase though and i yeah i i think i noticed that as well i feel like i'm in a very chaotic period of my life like all my emotions are all over the place like i'm in a very chaotic period of my life like all my emotions

are all over the place like i can't fucking put string of sentence together um but i've actually been taking up meditation and one of the things i actually learned on the retreat that i did was this analogy that like you know they're like superheroes they're always really calm and collected they're never the ones that are going like oh and what am i gonna do and then i want to save this person and they're always the ones that are going like oh what am i gonna do and then i want to save this person in a minute like they're always the ones that just have all their thoughts in order and meditation is really good for like calming your brain down and those thoughts into like a thing and then just getting a little bit more aligned with yourself so every morning okay the past two mornings uh that's still something girl that's still something fake

fuck that's still sad i used to be honest yeah but i'm trying i have to i actually have to because it's uh it's getting bleak yeah that's like um me you know me i'm a 4am gym goer and i haven't been to the gym since october 17th yeah um which for me is so specific wow because like i think gym really puts me like once when i start my day at the gym like yeah you know i'm fighting with the treadmill like bringing all my anger on the treadmill getting everything that's just annoyed me out the way leave the gym fresh new person ready to start the day i've not done that since it's been like two it's coming to a month that's all right hopefully it won't hit a month i'm trying to like slowly

mentally prepare myself to go back into it structure is important but also coming off the path every little bit of chaos chaotic chaoticness and then come back on it's actually okay yeah so it's just not being stuck in that chaotic realm for too long that's it don't let yourself fall into it someone said like oh don't don't say you've had a bad day because then that sometimes means you've got to wake up the next day and kind of get out of bed on the right side kind of vibe.

Like just say like a bad moment, bad hour. It's like the power of the tongue they always say that. Yeah, totally. And I think as well, I've been trying

in what you're saying like atomic habits, not so big as the gym. Mine is taking vitamins. Okay. Just one act of like getting up and taking a vitamin is like in my head thinking oh i did one act of self-care yeah and then you're kind of going oh next i made my bed oh next i i meditated and then next i did it and then it

kind of like tricks your brain into thinking like oh i'm looking after my cell phone it's true you know it's like just little small intricate things even if that's it that's like before you go to bed yeah turn off your phone do something else oh my god do you know i mean which is kind of how i feel like we're so i i know tiktok tiktok i'm a prisoner because i i be scrolling and look at the time like oh 3 a.m oh god i need to wake up soon i think it's my job listen i act like i'm being paid to get through those just be scrolling in it like it's just yeah just take your way out those kind of habits and find what's it called autonomy autonomy habits oh atomic sorry sorry i'm having a conversation with myself yeah finding those like little atomic habits like yeah atomic habits so like um interestingly about

the phone thing another thing i was uh kind of looking into about the power of your reticular activating system okay which is essentially where before bed and when you just wake up your subconscious is wide open it's vulnerable it's like gonna be taking in the most information you're kind of like in that dream state you're like you're not thinking about too much from the day you're just scrolling and if you're looking at all these stuff on your feeds that are kind of gonna get into your brain a bit yeah that could easily influence how your next day goes oh my gosh but then it's hard because sometimes my tiktok algorithm is so funny where's the line no i hear that that's like yesterday I think it actually

happened to me yesterday I was like oh my god I actually do miss my dad so I was going through like all obviously he's moved back home

so I was going through like all like little videos and stuff I was like oh my god I miss my dad went to bed and this morning this guy calls me

at 7am I'm half asleep I'm like daddy I'm like no no no not even daddy I'm like

get off the line like stop talking to me exactly i wasn't ready for it and i feel like that put me in the bad mood i was like i mean you just cut me through my sleep i'm trying to do i'm trying to sleep here but it's early why you're not awake yet it's like literally the phone was there i was like what did you say okay okay bye bye bye bye bye so it's i hear it yeah those are all those those first little gaps when our brain is just a little bit too wide open take him off my favorite list for for the mornings anyway the mornings yeah okay then i'm blocked my dad at 11

p.m reminder love you i don't love you when you call me early in the morning well i'm sure things will be on the app i know it's been a um interesting beginning to november what is it seven days seven days in mariah carey's getting her money getting her moolah she's like screaming everywhere sitting doing nish complaining we're doing stuff not to her you know capacity but we're doing stuff one day we'll be you know every

when the season comes that's our that's shit next week will be our it's time we'll get our own we'll get our own exactly

oh my god yeah I like that I like how you did that alright well thank you so much for joining us for this week's quick cuppa be sure to follow us and catch up we didn't forget to us this week's quick cuppa uh be sure to follow us

and catch up forget to do the oh sorry quick cuppa okay cool well thank you so much for joining us on this week's uh quick cuppa didn't know that was a thing please make sure to follow us and catch up with all the extra episodes on our socials and we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. It's time.