Tea at Four - QUICK CUPPA: We Answer Your Dilemmas: My Boyfriend Has A Belly Button Fetish

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

Lauren and Christie give their thoughts on a dilemma sent in by a listener who has a phobia of belly buttons... and a boyfriend with a belly button fetish. They discuss sexual compatibility in relationships, compromise, and communication in the bedroom. If you have any dilemmas or stories you'd like to share, please send them to [e-mail] or drop us a DM on any of Four Nine's socials.

because it does make your flu feel a thing it makes your what to follow your flute your flute like feel hi welcome back to tf4 i'm christy and i'm lauren and this is the podcast where we talk all things that should have stayed in the group chat yeah so christy we've actually received a little dilemma this week on tiktok so i'm gonna read read out to you and we're gonna give our humble opinions right let's hear it right so i've been going out with my boyfriend for just over one year now and in general things have been great however i've noticed when it comes to sex he's not seemed himself i've asked him about this on occasions but i never really got an answer only this week has he revealed it's all

because he has a belly button fetish. He was so scared to tell me because he knows I've got a phobia of belly buttons. I can't stand anyone putting their finger inside my belly button. In brackets I have the deepest innie ever. Now I'm not sure what to do. His kink slash fetish means that he wants to touch and lick inside my belly button. I want to satisfy him. Should I try to desensitise and get help with the phobia or is it not meant to be? What do we think, Christy?

So she's scared of belly buttons and he's got a fetish of belly buttons. Not really a match made in heaven there, is that? No, of course not. I think what's important here is to not kink shame. Of course. Because everyone's got their little things their little enjoyments um but i think what is important here is a word called compromise christy

yeah but then how do you compromise because one thing is is basically um you've got she has basically got to face her fears yeah you it's not my story she's got to face her fears and then he has to also we don't know how extreme this fetish is like what do you want to do with the belly button well clearly here touch touch and lick yeah but does it does it stop there yeah that's what i'm trying to say or is it touch lick and that's the start of a slippery slope if my partner came up to me and i would have to like, hold on, let's just wait a minute and just pause and I've got to really think about it.

Yeah, sure. Because I think this is the thing. It's not that she doesn't like the fact that he's got a fetish for belly buttons. She's got a phobia, which I think is a quite severe end of the scale. So I think the fact that he's being completely disengaged in sex for his own selfish likes and passions and wants

is not very fair. Can they go counselling? Can they both go counselling together? Well, this is the thing. I don't know if it's... For her to go as far as desensitising herself, if she wants to pay for therapy, he should pay for the therapy.

Cash pig. Yeah, they both need to pay for it. My cash pig belly button fetish therapy. I don't know. I just think it's... My thought is that there are enough holes. So if he's being disengaged in sex because this is one thing holding him back

from enjoying the rest of it, that's a bit of an ish him. What if she compromises by they can have sex but then have like a fake like silicone belly button on the side whilst they're doing the deed yeah yeah because your hand will be busy fiddling the belly button and then you can continue doing having sex flash button or something yeah i'm sure it exists out there of course there's so many things out there that could help in this situation so i'm guessing that is probably one outcome sure do you think like a belly button vest is something maybe a lot of people have and

don't talk about um it's not the most common one right maybe it is do you think well just a thought have you ever pressed inside your belly button before because it does make your flute feel a thing it makes your what to follow your flute your flute like feel no no everyone right everyone just do that i'll touch your belly button no no i um no i don't know don't do that i don't really like the feel of my belly button. It's just like, if you, like, well, mm. That's where I used to feel babies to come from. Well, that's the thing. Well, maybe he's actually got like a Freudian fetish

because that's really where your umbilical cord was. So maybe he just wants to get back inside his mum. What? He wants to be connected with his mama. He wants to be connected with his mummy. But then that's weird for other girls. 100% dump him. No, don for other girls. A hundred percent. Dump him. No, don't do that.

No. No. I feel like if she can, because obviously she's got a phobia, then she should, I think they should both help each other. Sure. Find a way to kind of find a medium. Start with another hole first and then we'll work our way down to. I mean, if it's not causing him or her any suffering i

think they should kind of compromise sure i mean that's when a fetish is extreme if it's causing another person you know absolutely yeah some suffering some pain i mean the only pain you're gonna get if you just pokes your belly button a bit too hard yeah um and then you said it gives you butterflies or fluff flies fluff butterflies butterflies so i mean sis if that's that's the case maybe practice on your own maybe it's an opportunity to explore your own fetishes maybe yeah yeah yeah i'm trying to think do i have like an extreme fetish that i don't know it's a fetish but it's a fetish um like it is okay don't don't don't judge me but it's never been no but that's the same but it's a fetish. Okay, don't judge me.

Never. No, but that's the same. But it's dipping like... I can't say it because she's like it. Dipping what? Dipping crisp in like Coke. A bad fetish. No. And mostly that's not affecting another person.

Oh, it's another person? Yeah. Oh, I've got a thing for ears. I love a good ear. Doing what with it? Like stroking the ear oh holding the ear don't lick or suck it i mean i'd yeah the ear yeah it's just just that joy is it's like when it gets you know you get code right you get like goosebumps like they're just the little hairs that's the

same that's what i'm describing with the belly button push the push with a push the button yeah um but i think my my one is all right yeah you know the ear fetish is sure okay so let's imagine i've come to you and i've said let's let's role play we're a partner so hey babe i've come to you and i've been like actually role play okay all right okay who am i i'll be the boy okay no actually i'll be the girl all right okay no actually i'll be the girl all right all right okay you're right there love babe you've not been acting yourself what do you mean when we're in the bedroom what do you want what do you mean what do i want what do you want me to do like what what do you mean why aren't you up for sex why aren't you

why aren't you in the moment what's going on mean, you just won't let me lick your ear. But you know I've got a phobia of ears. But you have one. Valid. So yeah, it's there to be fucking licked, suck and fucked. No. No. But on a real note.

Yeah. It's not the worst thing in the world i don't think it is maybe you could try it once that's what harry style says you could always try it once and then if it doesn't work for you try it if it doesn't work for her yeah well they can't do it then maybe they should cross paths cross paths that means they should depart depart is that the same thing cross paths no that means like meet up together again depart yeah yeah i mean don't yeah don't yeah yeah just try it once if you want to but also the fact i think you have to respect someone's got a phobia that they've got a phobia yeah and compromise back he needs to put the work in to also engage in sex as a whole and also how

soon do you tell somebody that you have a fetish? That's another thing as well. They've been together for a year. I think for me, it's like, lay out on the table from the jump. If there's anything like fetishism,

what you don't like, what you do like in the bedroom, lay it out. The weirder, the better. Yeah. I know. And have an open

and honest conversation about it. No judgment. But if you can deal with it, you're a ride or die. Yes. Yeah. So true. If you can do it, you're a ride or die yes yeah so true if you can that is the dream partner to just accept your wishes with openness and yeah just don't don't put yourself on the back burner just yeah i love this guy this is my means for life if it's something that you can't stand for i personally do say stand for that yeah say it lay out on the table let it be said if you guys can't find

a compromise then it is what it is if you don't want your belly button to be violated then you don't have to so lauren if you were to see yourself in that situation um you've got the phobia he's got a fetish is that a deal breaker for you um i think relationship is all about compromise yeah and if he's not willing to meet me in the middle whether that be pay for my therapy or um just accept that that's not something that's a boundary for me yeah then i think i'd have to split up with him really but you know that it has to be the conversation first it's not just like he said he wanted to stick it in there and i said no and then we ended it but it's clearly enough there yeah for a year's worth of relationship so yeah i think it's just crazy what would you what would

you do sure i i'd have to do some very deep thinking um i'll probably have to research it as well because i feel like sure yeah because i feel like we both have let's say i've got a phobia you've got the fetish yeah let me research your fetish and why you're so like yeah you research my phobia and if you understand yeah and if we can both understand each other then probably we can compromise yeah but if not then i don't have to step away from the relationship side note do you remember that thing that went that viral clip went around of like when a girl says she holds her boob it makes her feel like nostalgic and homesick and she holds her boob yeah maybe it's the same thing with why she doesn't want her belly button being touched because it makes her feel nostalgic homesick

maybe i'll leave you with that one all right cool nice i do think this kind of highlights the whole one communication between each other yeah but even like the communication between us talking about it it like opens up that conversation about fantasies because I don't think that's necessarily something I'd go to the group chat and talk about but even hearing talk people talking about online it's normal every relationship is going through it yeah I do feel like when people hear fetishists that even like it's got bad not bad connotation but yeah a negative connotation like kinks sexual did it I mean it's kind of bit like whoa so you wouldn't want to bring

something so he is something so heavy yeah in your group chat but the fact that that's actually come up in our conversations actually just made me think about certain things that i wouldn't bring up and why i wouldn't bring them up if that makes sense yeah thank you so much for sending that in we really appreciate it and we love hearing your dilemmas don't we christy no we do it's nice to have these open conversations so please do send us some more absolutely if you have any stories you can send them to us on tiktok spotify or email them to us at t at four at jungle creations.com thanks for joining us for a quick couple bye