Tea at Four - Sending postcards to your ex, cheating with your girlfriend's mum & wild house party confessions...

Episode Date: February 19, 2025

Welcome back to another Quick Cuppa where Lauren, Billy and Christie are rating some BREW-tal confessions. We have one cringey anecdote about a girl sending a message to her ex through old-school methods. As well as a savage story involving a man and his girlfriend's mum....We also play our fan-favourite game of Don’t Spill the Tea with some grim internet stories. Pleaseee send us any confessions or dilemmas to [e-mail] and we'll try to feature you anonymously 🫶

Apparently there was a house party many years ago where someone did shit in a mug and put it in the microwave. Huh? Three months ago I discovered that my friend had been banging his girlfriend's mum. The other night I did a fart so foul. Stop! Hey everyone, welcome back to A Quick Cuppa. I'm Billy. I'm Christy. And I'm Lauren. And this is the podcast where we talk all things that normally stay in the group chat.

Yes. Hello, hello. It's the group chat calling. Ha ha ha. No one picked up. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Mom, you again. We are about to play the game of the season brutal.

Are you guys ready? It's the time of the season. Today I've woken up with the worst anxiety because I decided to contact my ex while drunk. But no, not a classic drunk text. My drunk brain went one step further and thought it would hit harder if I sent a postcard. What? A signed, sealed, delivered little Cornish coastal postcard.

We live in the same town. I can't even remember what I'd written on it except that it took up the whole thing. Kill me. Oh, I love that Mortifying the modern-day J-man Girl because you cannot control or delete that no, I feel like what writing you'll be writing for I know my hands Be hurting me like your emotions. That's scary Well, how can you remember anyone else's address? No, I think your ex, she would.

Like you'd send, you'd post them stuff. Yeah, you would know. I wouldn't know. He never had a boyfriend. He doesn't know that address. I can't write or read. But yeah. Oh, cute little postal cards.

Fuck you, bitch. Can you imagine? No, I'm gonna go against the grain. I think I'd be lovely. Really? But think about it. No, that's impressive. The postcard is not in an envelope.

It's just. Oh yeah, the postman can fucking. Right, the postman reader be like whoa, okay. Take a picture. He might even do you a favor and be like. Restraining order. Yeah. Crazy.

Yeah, I don't. That is sad. Really embarrassing. I hate it. Also, like, I don't know about you, but there's something very sinister about the thought of posting something in the night time. Like at the end of a night out,

putting a post into the post box. It's very... It's giving... Mamma Mia. It's very giving. It's giving Mamma Mia. Maybe she was trying to find him. I think she must have watched Mamma Mia that night. And then she sung I have a dream. And then brutal me or what we've voting brutal meter is only a three for me. Yeah, three, three, maybe a five because I think it will kill me because what did I write and you can't literally go and read the text. It's like so once it's written, it's written, like,

what the heck did I write? I would lie. I never sent you a postcard. Someone sent me up. You are misinformed. You have been pranked. The prankster has pranked you. And then he sends you, but this is my birthday card that you wrote here, and this is the

postcard, the same handwriting. What now? Oh my gosh, Jinkies, there's a criminal on the loose. Go on Scooby! There's a fraudster out here! Stop by Scooby-Doo. Yeah, I don't think I would let him believe it. Bring back Jinkies.

Jinkies! Great words. Oh, freaky. Five for me. Five for you, three for me. Three. Cool, Billy, I sent send you the next one. Three months ago, I discovered that my friend

had been banging his girlfriend's mom. Don't ask how I discovered it, but the thing is that I never told his girlfriend because I wanted to know if he would come out clean by himself. He hasn't come out clean yet, so I'm planning to snitch on him because it's so wrong of me

to withhold this information from her. If there is a better way to drop this bomb, let me know. I know it might be wrong, but I'm in last place. My God, yeah, that's one way, do it in a song and dance. Oh my God, sorry, I would not be able to sit with that kind of juicy tea for too long. I would be telling everyone, regardless if it's my best friend or not.

That kind of thing just doesn't sit well with me and I would want everyone who needed to know to know. Yeah. I feel like if I called my mum Auntie as well, I would be like, that's blackmail for me. Auntie, really? Like, I know what you're doing. How's your husband?

How's your husband? How's your husband? And see whether she will crumble. And she doesn't crumble. I'm like, hmm. So you guys have been in it for a while. He needs evidence though. Otherwise that is a wild accusation that people aren't going to really believe regardless of how it's told. People are going to be hesitant unless there's solid proof. But did they not say that, don't ask me how I found out. So how did you find out? Yeah, like I wanna know now.

I wanna know. Did you see it? Have you seen it? Did you film it? I think that's probably an eight for me, finding that out. Yeah, that's right. You can't really come back from that. No, absolutely not.

It's a nine, especially if that's your best friend and just like, oh my gosh. Yeah, maybe a nine for me. Cause it's like, now you're guilty by association. You've been complicit in your lies. There you go. You don't want to say anything, but you knew. Burn them down. So get out with it. Snitch!

And it burns, burns, burns. The ring of fire. What is wrong with us with these talks today? I don't know. I didn't think things like that actually happened. The second-hand embarrassment for your child. The lack of respect for your child. There you go, I think it's even worse.

It's fair enough, yeah, okay, cool. I just had an itch and your friend was there and whatever. Eww, she got crabs? Oh my God, she does now. But think about how crazy and wild it is for the child going into school. Everyone's talking about, yeah, I shagged things mom. That's crazy.

Yeah, that's stuck with them for life. Literally. Like fair enough if you wanna go off and kind of. That's some Bonnie blue shit. Yeah, barely legal. Barely legal tea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, we can play a game of don't spill tea.

Yeah! This is the part of the show where you spill the tea and we try not to. Let's go. Sip, sip, sip. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. I fell asleep on a bus with my mouth open. When I woke up, a small child was trying

to throw a Cheerio in it. His mum whispered, just let him try. Pfft. Mm. Pfft. Knock your mum. That is a fucking violation. in it his mum whispered just let him try I once had diarrhea so intense that my Apple watch asked if I was doing a workout I once had diarrhea so intense that my Apple watch asked if I was doing a workout Close all his rings That is so funny Today and tomorrow

I'm so sorry that went everywhere Oh my god can you imagine? That is so embarrassing It reminds me of the story of like, sorry, snot everywhere, of the couple who, all the family got fit bits and they were on for Christmas one year and they were all tracked onto each other's things you could see and a couple went upstairs Christmas day whilst everyone was downstairs and everyone got a notification saying that like so and so and so and so we're working out and they were shagging. Oh my gosh.

Imagine that. That's crazy. I'm so sorry that went everywhere. Bit of cardio you know? Bit of cardio yeah. Imagine pooing that much that your heart is like. I have been there. I have been there.

I have. Every Sunday after a night out. Yeah those hungover poos. The other night I did a fart so foul that it woke me up. I knew you were gonna laugh at that immediately. You can put less water in your mouth, really. Swallow it. Swallow it. Let it go, baby.

Let it go. Hard relate. Hard relate. Yeah, really. You got that spoke to me? Yeah. Literally. I was just going to say I was Googling something, and I was like, oh, I'm. Yeah, really. The girl that spoke to me.

Yeah, literally. I was just going to say I was googling symptoms of something the other day and it described it as having evil smelling farts. And I was like, that is so it. And then I googled our evil smelling farts a thing. That is so it. And then I googled our evil smelling farts a thing. And it was like, yeah, it's one step above foul. Oh my God. It's one notch above foul.

No, was it foul then evil? I meant evil, and then a mum fart. Why are they so bad? Oh my God. OK. Why are they so bad? Oh my god. Okay. The other night I did a fart so foul. Stop.

Okay. The other night I did a fart so foul that it woke me up as it seeped out. I then quickly realized my fast asleep boyfriend was spooning me. Oh hell no. I did more. I did more. There's loads more. Oh my god. I did more. I did more. I did more.

I did more. I did more. I did more. I did more. I did more. I did more. I did more. I did more. Oh, hell no. There's loads more. Oh my gosh. You know that positioning is going to be like a phoenix rising behind the ashes. Oh my gosh.

Okay, she's just realised she was being spooned by her boyfriend. Half asleep, I tried to lift the duvet up to let it out the other side. But as I was doing this, I heard him mumble, that's fucking disgusting. I replied, still half conscious. No, don't embarrass me. And he said I was literally asleep and then it suddenly smelt of shit.

I got so embarrassed that he ended up having to comfort me for my own fart. Oh no, oh baby no. Billy's soaked. I am absolutely drenched. Why is there, it's on your head. Earlier, can we not spit at each other please? No, I didn't mean to.

So it begs the question, have you ever done a fart so foul? I have a really, really funny story. I hope my mom doesn't mind me telling this story My mom my dad once said that like But when he was younger when he first started dating my mom He was the first started sharing a room. He woke up to the smell of like the worst thing he'd ever smelled in his life like Hot shit and he woke up in the night and he was so disgusted that he was like oh my god I can't believe she's just done that and the next day he got up and he was still like kind of angry not angry but he was so disgusted

he was just like oh my god I don't know if I can be with someone like that and then he went to the toilet farted and realized it was himself I've just blamed it all on her. Oh my god the other day though. I did wake myself up because my fart was so bad It was had a really bad stomach that day and I was silent one. I was asleep. I woke up in the smell I actually made me go oh I mean, I don't think matters if it was silent made me go, uh huh. Oh, I mean I don't think it matters if it was silent, if it's that deadly. It was real bad.

Yeah. Did you say the silent ones, the deadly ones, the deadly ones, or the ones that's like, the air ones, the airy ones? This was putrid. Apparently there was a house party many years ago where someone did a shit in a mug and put it in the microwave. Huh?

Pfft. How awful. The whole party got evacuated because everyone's like, why does it smell like big hot stinky shit? No. My thoughts are so bad that once when we had a barbecue party. It's like you're doing a roast on yourself. A friend threw a barbecue party once a couple years ago, but it was raining so we all had

to be inside and her little kitchen living room area wasn't big enough So some of us were staying outside some of us were standing inside Everyone standing inside is dancing. I farted and locked everyone in So bad and then they trying to get out so bad that they broke the key that was in the lock We love hearing your dates will spill the teas and we want to hear more. Can you send them to us please via all our social media channels? Please! Please! And or to our email at tf4hjohncreations.com. But until then, we'll see you next time!

See you next time! Good night. Good night. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.

Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo.