Tea at Four - Why our obsession with our appearance is causing 'Beauty Burnout'...

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

This week we are chatting about how society still has unachievable beauty standards for women, and the ways in which we can protect ourselves from these ideals. Lauren discovers the term ‘beauty burnout’ and vulnerably shares how she relates to it, while Christie recalls how growing up in an all-girls school has shaped how she looks at herself today. We also look at how views of women have changed from the 90s, when 'heroin chic' was a celebrated aesthetic, and celebs would speak of the body shaming that they experienced regularly.

Hey guys, welcome back to tip four. I'm Billy. I'm Kristy. And I'm Lauren. And this is the podcast where we talk all things that normally stay in the group chat. On today's episode, we talk all things toxic tabloids from the noughties. Our experience with beauty burnout. And we give our advice on how to deal with body shaming and self criticism. Welcome back, everyone. How are you all doing? How are you guys doing? We're getting through it. January is January and just trying to stay on the positives of everything.

Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Christy? I'm just cold. I'm fed up. Yeah. I thought this was the coldest January, I think. Apparently it is, like the first time in like 10 years. But I think this is just like British small talk. British small talk.

I've realized I have no small talk now. I just talk about the weather, the darkness. Yeah. Sleep, my sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Really good night's sleep last night. We called into my ring. It was on, you know, 75.

Your what? Your ring. It's an aura ring. That's it. So it tracks my sleep and my heartbeat and my steps. Okay, and then you guys are calling me the tech god. You're the tech god. That's crazy.

Yeah, I know. My mom got it for me for Christmas. So far it tells me that I'm not exercising enough and I'm sleeping a lot. Yeah, that's nice. I actually had a really nice thing last night. I went to my first gym class in 2025, which I haven't been to in like a month.

And I really hated it and I was really bad at it. And my fitness has gone so downhill. And we were doing this child pose at the end when we were winding down. And this gorgeous instructor just did the most gorgeous motivational speech about how like in this new year we focus so much on what we haven't done about changing our bodies and all the things that we think we should be doing and like how that's not okay but the fact that you you showed up and you moved your body and we've got the privilege of being able

to move and like thank yourself for that thank yourself be kind to yourself and I need to start crying yeah instructors need to be more like that because back in the day when we'd go to gym classes on a lunch break they would be screaming you think you're good enough I want to see 20 more you came here to lose some weight Marygold was brutal. Marygold around the corner was. Really? It was harsh. Oh, I would leave.

You ain't talking to me like that. I'm leaving. I'm like, bye. We were chickens and we were in her boot camp of hell. Oh no. On lunchtime and then come back to work. Crying, shaking. You guys are crazy.

Yeah. Leaves it all subways in a McDonald's. She's like, you should leave the cover. It's mad. Jokes, well, I thought we'd have a conversation this week around something that seems to be a very prominent social conversation, especially on my feeds. But basically on Sunday night, I watched this documentary,

just came up on my suggestion on YouTube, about Kate Moss, and it was around her kind of era of when she was deemed heroin chic. I hate that term. Which is a horrific term but I'm seeing it come up now in like 2024. Yeah it's still being used and like 2025. I saw like an article the other day where it was like why is heroin chic back in fashion? And it wasok, not the drug right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought...here, oh, crispy. There's so many things I want to do and see. Like redoing the basement

without having to do it all myself. Or doing absolutely nothing. With a spectacular waterfall view, of course. So, I'm starting here, investing with RBC. When it comes to reaching your goals, personalized advice and performance matter. And now, you can get $300 Of course. So I'm starting here, investing with RBC. When it comes to reaching your goals, personalized advice and performance matter.

And now you can get $300 when you invest with RBC. Offer ends March 3rd, 2025. Terms and conditions apply. Invest with RBC today. Like heroic, no babe. It means basically the term comes from like women who were so skinny, they looked like they were on heroin Okay, make sense. I think it was coined in regards to Kate Moss

Well not in regards to her but more so that kind of look of being really skinny having Gaunt features and sunken in eyes, which is horrific saying that someone looks like that looks like that is taking drugs firstly but I think in in her kind of that looks like that is taking drugs firstly. But I think in her kind of time of success, a lot of people would go for that as a way of attributing her success to something that she's doing in a really dark way. And I was just watching this documentary

and it was showing clips of around that time and it was mental. There is this clip of Calvin Klein talking about her and around this time he was, she was his muse. And he said that the best thing about her is that men are really stimulated by the blurred line between a woman and a child. That's disgusting.

Yeah, which is why she is so great at what she did. And that's when she was like 15 years old at this point and she was modeling like without a top on. And it's like no wonder we've grown up, like that was in the year that I was born. No wonder these kinds of perceptions around looking at each other's weight, monitoring our own weight, commenting on each other's bodies,

having this view that like we need to regress back down to our childlike teenage bodies is the dream. It's like, I'm sure I'm not alone in my mental goal weight being what I was when I stepped on the scale for the first time at 17. And I don't know what it is about that, but it's like, I've just got this complex in my head that that was my smallest,

and that's always what I should be going towards. As a woman who was 28, 10 years ago, and that's always what I should be going towards as a woman who was 28 mm-hmm ten years ago and that's not right mmm it's crazy yeah that is crazy I I don't know I never really I think that's awful but I personally don't ever kind of like look at how much I weighed back when I was 17 or 18 I'm just yeah more focused on what I't know, I don't think I really paid much attention to how much I weighed back then and now it's more of a focus on like, less on how much I actually weigh and more just kind of like how I feel and how I look and how I think I look. But I think like my biggest issue is coming from like back in the day when they would do 50 best and worst beach bodies.

I'm like scarred to the point of this day where I can't go to the beach with my friends and take my top off. It's just, I feel like that's a moment when everyone is scanning the beach and looking at you. That's it. It's where they literally hone in on circles of shame and I'm doing that in my own brain, my own body. But ironically, I'm never doing that at anyone else.

No, I wouldn't either. I love it. And actually, I started watching the early seasons of Jody Shore this weekend and I was shocked at just how brutal and horrible the guys are. They're calling the girls fucking tramps, fat slags. And it's like, that is actually a real indicator of like, even in like 2010s, 2012s of like how much people talked about women's weight in such derogatory misogynistic ways and it wasn't you know people joined in on it people like on Twitter at the time were kind of like

joining in the conversation and like just all the articles about the Geordie Shore cast was slamming the girls so true and it was just horrible and it just kind of like I I don't know, it's hard to actually take yourself back to that time and be like, was it that bad? And then you're reminded when you watch it and you're like, oh, this is absolutely horrible. And we actually, I think as a general public,

owe the girls of Julie Shaw an apology. Yeah. I feel bad for them as well, because it wasn't policed. Like the fact that someone was editing that and thought, keep that in. because it wasn't policed. Like the fact that someone was editing that and thought, keep that in. And it wasn't like one occasion, it was like a lot of times. And like that Kate Moss documentary, same kind of thing.

There was like little facts that would come up on the screen when she was winning, like was it model of the year award? And it was coming with, Kate is only 105 pounds. Is it pounds? Yeah, something like that, yeah. Kate doing 100 pounds. LBS, whatever that sounds like.

Kate says that she finds eating boring. Kate was discovered when she was 14, a week after she lost her virginity. Yeah. And this is what is going out. There was no protection for people on there. And like, I feel like I don't wanna stick up for them, but it makes sense why a lot of people think

we can just say these opinions out loud or even think them about other people's bodies or appearances and it'd be okay. Yeah. This might sound a bit mad, but wow, but I guess it does make sense. I feel like, see how you said that you've got this image of you, like that teenage, that size,

that you wanna get back to. I think for me where it didn't affect me is because there wasn't much representation in regards to supermodels. So obviously in school, went to a very predominantly mixed school, there was like different types of body shapes. You had the skinny girls, the big girls,

the, you know, curved girls, fine. But I feel like when it came to that TV, like the supermodel thing, because I didn't see myself in that realm, it didn't affect me. So I was just like, yeah, that's really good. Yeah, so when you're speaking about, I was like, did I feel that way?

Did I? No, not really. So I followed my teenage years. I did whatever, fuck all, fuck all. Sorry, sorry. But then now, I think cause there's more representation, I'm more like prone to be like, oh, maybe I should, you know,

maybe I should kind of look a certain type of way. But before it was never thought for me. Well, it's not at all. You mentioned like TV presence or like film and TV representation. Like, as I was like looking through all the stuff from the North East, it's like, remember when Bridget Jones came out

and the whole thing was about her being fat. Yeah, like shallow how where Gwyneth Paltrow was put in a fat suit Play like this unattractive fat person. Yeah, or even like Kate Winslet on the Titanic was nicknamed by the director Kate weighs a lot. Well Like oh is that fucking real? I saw that I read that this way. That's infuriating. Like all. Is that fucking real? Yeah, I saw that, I read that this week. That's infuriating. How disgusting. Oh my gosh, she was tiny in that film. Tiny, yeah, like those are the visions

because they weren't, the media and like the fashion industry had such an obsession with being size zero. Uh-huh. Like even on like Ugly Betty, it was actually about how much you weigh, wasn't it? And like your size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, yeah, crazy when you look back on it like that.

It makes me feel sick. And I don't think it's changed that much. I don't think so. I think there was like this era of people being too skinny and people obviously having like eating disorders. Wasn't that show, Super Size vs. Super Skinny? Super Skinny, yeah. But like in terms of your Paris Hilton's,

you know, Lindsay Lohan's that had got too small. And I feel like that was a wake up call for a lot of people that this kind of representation was extremely harmful. I feel like we went through a period of about 15 years where like they weren't showing that as much or we were steering away from that and going more towards like showing bigger bodies and like showing all kinds of like more inclusive. Preaching

body positivity. Exactly. And that's like sorry to buy in but like that also ties into there was an article I was reading that was supposed to be about body positivity but the headline read it was the article that said heroin chic is making a fashion comeback. It was supposed to be an article about Inclusivity and like body image, but then they'd spent half the article shaming women who didn't Fit into that body image that they were trying to perpetuate. It's just as bad. Oh, it's horrific, but I think just My thought is that we had that gap of 15 years where we were trying to avoid showing people that were so tiny, and I think we've gone back to that.

I think that people don't want to show people of all sizes to make us at home feel better. I admittedly was watching Love Island the other night, and I said out loud a sentence that I was like, oh my god, that's horrific. I've kind of conditioned myself to think this way. I was eating my dinner, and I said out loud a sentence that I was like, oh my God, that's horrific. I've kind of conditioned myself to think this way. I was eating my dinner and I said, oh, I better put on Love Island so I can remind myself

of how I need to look good in a bikini in the summer. Because everyone on there is stick thin. Everyone is tiny. On that first episode, I think Eken Sue made a comment about someone's body being slightly bigger than, and not having abs. And it's like, oh my God, no wonder it feeds into every ounce of my being.

Like, just monitoring my own self, looking at other people's, and just being obsessed with it. Yeah, also that's like a trait that picked up from the noughties because so many times people would like be on diets and put photos of them or someone fat on the fridge and like the phrase,'re not hungry you're thirsty have a glass of water being used so many times that I was like oh what's the matter if I do it

yeah you know and then it's your kind of like condition from an early age to have these. What's up Spotify this is Javi. I remember this one time we're on. We didn't have any guitar picks and we didn't have time to go to the store so we placed an order on Prime and it got there the next day ready for the show. Whatever you're into, but I am healing. Returning to W Network and StacTV. The West Side Ripper is back. If you're not killing these people, then who is? That's what I want to know. Starring Kaylee Cuoco and Chris Messina. The only investigating I'm doing these days is who shit their pants. Killer messaged you yesterday?

This is so dangerous. I gotta get out of this. Based on a true story. New season Mondays at 9 Eastern and Pacific. Only on W. Stream on stream on stack TV kind of like No, these issues. Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's we're so far away from like Accepting and embracing the natural process of getting older Which is so sad. Yeah, I think it's just I just can't fathom what you guys are telling me right now Because I do feel like culturally back at home, the whole image thing, somebody's appearance, we don't really care about it.

Yeah, I feel like we're so like, food is basically our joys. If you want to eat, you eat. I think for us is the bigger you are, the more wealthier you are, the more, you know, rich you have more life, you're radiant. Of course there's like health risks, of course you don't wanna be too big. But there's never an emphasis of, oh, that person's too skinny, that person's too big. Do you know what I mean?

There's like a nice, or more inclusive. So I've never, yeah, as a child, I've never ever thought, no, I need to lose weight or I can't eat, I've never had that kind of thought. And it's crazy, it's like when I used to watch things like super size versus super skinny, I'm just like, why are we focusing on that? Like, if it's not like a health, a huge health issue,

like anorexia or being obese, I hear that. But then in regards to like conditioning society on this is right, this is bad, you need to look this type of way, it's that kind of like a dictatorship of how you should live your life, which I personally feel like is detrimental. Yeah, it was.

And like, it's so like, how you say like supersized versus skinny, or like that guy would go around saying, I'm about to meet one of Britain's fattest families. Yeah. Like just constant like shows about weight loss. The test tube, or the food. I think that is opposite to you.

Terrifying. Terrifying. Would you say that's stayed the same now? You're not as... I feel like now it's more, I wouldn't say weight wise, I really do not care. Cause it's one of the ones where, as a female as well, hormones, we go through a lot.

When you get pregnant, I'm not gonna look the same way. Do you know what I mean? There's always that kind of thought, you're never gonna look the same as yesterday. You're always gonna be different. This is the thing. I think what we forget and what from my experience, I forget when I think back to,

oh, I need to get to my smallest weight, when I was 19, is we get a second puberty in our 20s. So we're reaching maximum bone mass, our maximum strength, our maximum muscle mass, everything about our body is physically changing. And there we are trying to just regress back to our younger self, back to a body that isn't going with the way that our body

is naturally moving through time. And it's like, it's just chasing that insatiable need to look younger and- But that again, I think boils down to the fact of a representation of older women throughout up until maybe past five years has always been once you reach 30 you know 30s it you're over like look at the golden girls they're only 40. Who's the golden girls? It's like a tv show from like the 80s. And they're only 40 years old,

but they're dressed up like they're nannas. And your perception is like, this whole idea is like of Hollywood. They only focused on like young stars, young celebrities. That's all you saw. So everyone thinks like, oh, I need to look like that again. I need to be that age.

And everyone is so, I guess, in this belief system that your golden years are your 20s and then if you can't remain or hold onto that, life's not the same, which is, I think, the bullshit. Yeah, yeah. I think within this conversation as well, it's been so interesting to look at the tabloids' responsibility for the way they position

our thoughts about weight. So like the headlines I was looking at this week is like, Katie Price, apparently on a Zempik, fans are extremely concerned. And then they'll say, Google Book Star, even for men, Google Book Star has got so thin that fans comment, you've gone too far now, no more. And it's like they're always position it in a way that like fans are showing concern for the way a person is looking or losing weight. far now, no more. And it's like they're always positioning it in a way that like fans are showing concern for the way a person is looking or losing weight.

That is so backhanded because one, it assumes that like- Everyone is thinking that. Everyone is thinking that. And also if they had people around them, friends and family that really, hopefully they would be really concerned about their way they were looking or losing weight,

I'm sure they would listen to that rather than a hundred strangers. But like the Daily Mail has an obsession with Ozempic. I typed in Daily Mail the other day, 30 articles with Ozempic in the title in the last seven days. Yeah. Obsessed. 30 articles in seven days over Ozempic,

whether that's celebrities using it, celebrities accused of using it, people who have lost too much weight and it all like the same with those articles are coming things like Gawnt, not the same, unrecognizable and it's kind of like it's just perpetuating the same kind of like conversation that's then having been had online that is giving people and fans the I guess the free pass to talk as much as they want about someone's way of the way they look, which ain't right. I mean, I feel like they use this, is it called a rhetorical question? It's not a rhetorical question. Would you wear this? Or have you seen this? This person did that.

It's like, so it's even though you could, let's say for instance, I'm just skimming. I don't read the newspaper, I'm just skimming. But if I was to see something, would you wear this? Automatically, I'm on judging mode. I don't read the newspaper, I'm just skimming. But if I was to see something, would you wear this? Automatically, I'm on judging mode. So they use the language that makes you, even if you're not interested in it, it's none of your concern, it will become your concern. Like just by the way they word certain things on the tabloids.

They love to use the word, as you said, unrecognizable. It's like, that is just another word for, they're going through a really hard time, possibly a breakdown, clearly having issues, but we're gonna put unrecognizable, so all the comments are going, fucking hell yeah, she does look different. It's just inciting this impulse in people to engage

and start thinking and commenting and monitoring those kind of photos,. It's so toxic. And talking about places like The Daily Mail and The Sun who come up with these articles, there was one that I found and it was around the time of the Wicked premiere. And this guy had wrote, a guy. Yeah, of course.

This guy had wrote an article and he said something like, there's a green skin trigger warning for Wicked, but what there really should be is a trigger warning for Ariana's weight and he was just like I was supposed to go to the Wicked premiere with my daughter and things didn't end up happening and thank God they didn't because this is horrific there was so much conversation around Ariana's weight in the Wicked films it was horrible it was it was awful and it was everywhere it was more about her weight than it was her actual successful role within this.

She was actually asked by a French interviewer how she deals with criticism about her weight and her appearance. And she had a really good reply. She said that from when she was 16, 17, she's been under a microscope, literally been on a petri dish. And every time she has changed something within herself,

which has been what people have said that she had wrong with her, there would be something wrong with that. And it made me think like we'd used to say, her fake tan is too much, she looks way too dark, like it doesn't suit her complexion. Now she has completely fake tan free complexion and she's really pale and she's trying to do her makeup this way

and we're still saying that doesn't suit her. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. 100% because even her weight was questioned at one point. I saw a tweet the other day where it was like back in five years ago you were saying Ariana Grande was too fat, now you're saying she looks too skinny. You all need to just lay off talking about her.

I find it really hard as well, like I can't imagine how you feel as actual women, but like it's really hard to watch like when women are doing amazing but all they're talked about is their weight and what they look like and like even like athletes and the difference between how male athletes are treated versus female athletes in terms of like the interviews or like the way that people commentate on them even online. I was like I read this article that said that like during the most recent Olympics if the females if the female athletes from America were just one team they would have placed third overall in the entire globe um the entire global medal scale.

And yet all that anyone talked about online was, oh, why is the American volleyball team wearing leggings and not skimpy shorts? Why is Elona May, is Elona May a woman or a man? You know, it's just all these conversations. Oh, the comments on her post were horrific. Horrific. That actually put me off,

come to my athletics, it actually put me off playing tennis as a kid. Really? Not as a kid, when I was younger, just because you see the, if you think about the Williams sisters. Oh my God, yeah. Right, so for them it's like,

they look manly in a dress, they look this, I was thinking, I don't wanna play tennis because I don't want broad shoulders, I don't want this. So it puts you off. And they're like, it's crazy because they are the best tennis players of all time. Right. And yet all that anyone talks about is either their

attitude or the way they look. Yeah. Which is actually fucking disgusting. Yeah. Oh my God, that is so true. You've just brought me back to a press memory. You know when you start going to the gym and I'm like, I don't want to do weights.

I look too bulky. Yeah. I look too thin. What's that? We should all look strong. Right. That is crazy. I don't want to work my back.

I'll just do my legs. You know, I'll do my core. That's so toxic. But that was a real thing. I'd be like, no, don't do weights. I'll stay away from that. I have this thing, sorry not to butt in, but that's so relevant because I still struggle with that

and my friend, my friend Lizzie is like, so into weight training and like going against the, what the female body should look like. And we were out in a club dancing and some, a guy came up to him and was like, by the way, I just wanna say your back is incredible, like it looks so good, you're so ripped. And I was like, if I'd had that compliment, the word way, I just wanna say your back is incredible. Like it looks so good, you're so ripped. And I was like, if I'd had that compliment

of the word ripped, I'd be offended. But she was like, I am so buzzing that a man has noticed this about me. But she was really empowered by it. It's so, yeah. Yeah. I think it's all down to like, especially when you, it's not just appearance,

it's the gym, is when you're at work. We work, we're always on the camera as well. So I'm guessing our heads are going like back and forth, oh my God, I don't look right, I don't wanna film. The whole gym situation, William Sisters, that's enough for me to deter from like weight training. I wouldn't pick up a weight. I'm like, I'll go in and do one thing,

or just do cardio, you know? Burn the fat, go home. I'm good. That's crazy. Like a lot of little things will kind of like pick at you and you won't know until you sit down and like, oh yeah, and the reason why I don't do that is because of X, Y, Z.

Like nearly all the female athletes, I feel like a lot of people were focusing on like the female athletes that had their nails done, their hair done, and they had to kind of present overly feminine so they weren't being accused of. a lot of the amount of athletes in the last one were accused of like what their gender was or like having two manly features and it's like they're just women who are brilliant and what they do yeah why can't you celebrate that yeah yeah why do you have to have the longest most beautiful nails

or like their most iconic hair to be noticed? Exactly. And obviously in a world obsessed with image and our bodies and things like that, it's no fucking wonder this is fed into like how obsessed we are with our beauty regime and like our skincare routines.

So I was reading an article as well this week and there's a new phrase that's been created called beauty burnout. And I'll tell you what, I absolutely relate to it. I'll read it out. So with endless pressure to conform to aesthetic ideals, the pursuit of perfection is leaving many women feeling drained, financially strained,

and emotionally overwhelmed. And it's like these kind of routines are sold to us on social media as an act of self-love but at this point when you're feeling guilty because before you go to bed you haven't done your fucking five-step routine for your morning shed. But you've seen a 12 year old do it. You've seen a 12 year old do it and you've not woken up an hour earlier to be able to do all these things and you're paying so much money for your nails, your eyelashes, your hair, your skincare. This is wild, I didn't realize until the other day how expensive getting your eyebrows is done. The pressure. It's so expensive.

I don't even do it anymore. No, I don't, I said to my friends, why do you do it? Why do you like, I feel like, I mean, up to you if it makes you feel good. If you're doing it because A, everyone else is doing it and B, you feel like you have to do it, I don't think you should feel like you have to do it because eyebrows are the last thing I think of.

It's easier said than done because there was a whole period where eyebrows were the it thing. Like you look at magazine eyebrows on TV, eyebrows, this new eyebrow train, thick eyebrows. I think that was a time where I was laughing because I was bullied in school because of my thick eyebrows, this new eyebrow train, thick eyebrows. I think that was a time where I was laughing because I was bullied in school because of my thick eyebrows, right?

Yeah, they used to call me Frankenstein because of my eyebrows. And they did. And I remember starting secondary school and my eyebrows were like the other way around, like they were just messy. And I think that's what I was known for, the girl with the eyebrows.

So coming out of school now and I would see thick eyebrows are in. Oh, Christy. Cara Delevingne. Right, I love your eyebrows. And I literally sat now and I was, you think eyebrows are in. Yeah. Oh, Christy. Cara Delevingne. Right. I love your eyebrows. And I literally sat there, I said, you mother deepers, because you guys nearly pushed me to the point

where I was like, I want to get them cut. I want to get, I said, no, I want to stand by. I was born this way. I'm unique in a reason. So I'm going to, yeah, I'm a gaga. So I'm going to stay with them. And it's funny because it's like a lot of things, stuff like that, people just, oh my God,

this new eyebrow, think it's in, why are you not following the trend? Following the trend will push you to become, you know, get that burnout of beauty burnout. And I'm so happy that I stuck with it. And I feel like because of that experience that I had with my eyebrows, I've never conformed to the whole,

I need to buy this, I need a new makeup. I really don't. If anything, it's only because of what we do at work that I wear makeup. On a normal day, my head scarf is on. I do not look like this. Trust and believe. You know what I mean? And that's how I am. Ever since that eyebrow experience, I was like, yeah, I'll rock my Frankensteins. Why not? Yeah, I took a fucking razor, my mum's razor to my monobrow so many times in middle school. Yeah. And nowadays people embrace that. Oh my God, I just brought back my memory. I remember like going through puberty

and I started getting hairy legs and I was like, no one else has hairy legs. So I shaved them and they've never grown back. What? Oh my God. I wish it happened to me. The legs of my hair. Stop. There's nothing there? Oh my gosh. I wish it happened to me. The legs of my hair. Stop.

Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Our friend has longer leg hair than Billy. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking wild. I don't know.

You're, I love the way that you kind of view that and you don't feel that pressure inside, but it's so weird the way, I don't know if I'm a 12 year old at heart, 12 year old is before a kid, but like the kind of impulse rush of adrenaline I get when I fixate on something that I see online or a product and it's like here's an incident fix for so-and-so like I this might be a bit vulnerable but the other night I was like looking at my pores in the mirror and I'm really angry at my skin at

the moment. It's so imbalanced, my pores are massive, I'm obviously aging, apparently it's the thing that your pores get bigger. Things like some damage all affect that as well and I went through my camera roll and I found this like set of photos from 2023 where my makeup looked banging, my skin looks amazing, my skin looks flawless and I was obsessively looking at these photos. I was going through my emails to find order confirmations from 2023 so I could see the exact skincare, the exact makeup I used to try and replicate that and regress back to my younger self.

And this adrenaline that's going through me as I'm doing that whole thing is like, oh my fucking God, relax. I just became obsessed with it, and it's the same thing that you get when you see on social media something that you think is gonna provide you with instant happiness like that's what we're all going through right now and it leads to burnout yeah like what you're saying there though like that ties in really nicely to what you were saying earlier about wanting to be the weight you were

at 17 yeah like you're treating your relationship with like your skincare almost the same as like your weight. 100%. How can we? But it's no wonder it feeds into everything. Yeah, like everything is just kind of like, you're constantly on social media just being fed new products, this product, rating this, I hate this, this is great, use this, buy this. And you're constantly feeling like you have

to have something new. Like maybe we should all just delete TikTok and be happy and fat. And have some of that shit. Yeah, it's crazy when you just see those videos like I'm 34, but I'm told I look 21. Here's the reasons why. Oh my God.

I think I've learned to not cone in on FOMO. Like fear of missing out, fear of missing out. Oh my God, you need to get the next new trend or the next new... I feel like that for me put me in a very dark place before, where it's just like, I'm not as great as this person. I need to be like this, I need to look like that. Or I need to get, for instance, I need to get my teeth.

A lot of people have done their teeth. I need to get my teeth done. I was like, no, I actually don't. I just need to like, if it, I need to get my teeth. A lot of people have done their teeth. I need to get my teeth done. I was like, no, I actually don't. I just need to like, do it. If it works for them, it works for them. But for me personally, I've not had a problem with it. Like fair enough, I might not have the latest, you know, foundation or exercise, but I'm just like, okay, cool.

It's all right. There's other means. It does all boil down to like the media that you consume. Yeah. Whether that's in tabloid form or whether that's social form. If you're constantly like watching and seeing like people with all this money spend so much money on their nails, their hair, their eyebrows, their skin, their pores. Everyone's constantly comparing themselves.

I was speaking to my friend at the weekend and she said that she's deleted Instagram, doesn't really use TikTok anyway because she was finding that she was getting into a state where she was constantly comparing people to these lives, and then she had to take a step back and realize, actually, she'd just moved to this beautiful cottage in the countryside, that's always been what she wanted, and actually, she was like, why am I getting jealous over people

who do live a different life? I've never wanted. And I'm so much, thank you so much, happier for it. Yeah. Because comparison is the thief of joy. It's true. Trust me. It's true. I'm getting that tarot on my ass.

This is amazing. This is true. I think something as well that we forget when we see these like, you know, five to nine to four, one nine to five. I've done something five hard and I've stuck to it every single day. Didn't fuck it up once.

What we're forgetting is in our 20s, we naturally gain weight. We go from like being in our teens, having a really active lifestyle, having fucking PE on my schedule a week. It completely changes and we're sedentary. We're working nine to five office jobs. We don't have that ability to move around

as much as we want. And we're following influencers who their fucking day job is to do whatever they want. Go to Pilates at any time they want to do. And you really need to remember that. 100%. And another thing as well, they've actually coined a term for this obsession

with like skincare regimes. In 2025, they're calling it dermorexia. Like we're harming both our skin and our mental health being so obsessed with catering. So 12 different products that aren't specifically suited for you. And one thing I've kind of learned through this whole process of like,

I'm obviously a beauty content creator. When I see something like this and I see a 12 year old using upteen products in their routine and I go a 12 year old using up teen products in their routine and I go rush to the Sephora website or the Cult Beauty website to buy it, 10 minutes. So I'll get it up and then I'll give myself 10 minutes to come back to it and in that 10 minutes

when my impulse and adrenaline has calmed down from that excitement of changing something about myself and it isn't there, don't buy it. And then almost every time you don't care. It's just that excitement of changing something about myself and it isn't there, don't buy it. And then almost every time you don't care. It's just that excitement in the moment of just like, oh, we're gonna have to do this, I have to get this. And then it's like, oh, actually no. I need that for clothes.

Me too, and I've been doing that with ASOS. Yeah, that's so good. I'm trying not to buy any clothes now. I'm just trying to be a bit more mindful. Mindful, like how much do I actually want it? Do I really like it? Was it gonna bring me joy and am I gonna use it multiple times?

Yeah. Probably not, but I will buy it still. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you think are other ways in which you could protect yourself? One of the ways I think I'm learning to protect myself is catering Instagram and TikTok to a more inclusive

feed. Getting rid of, trying to get rid of like people that are just gonna make me jealous and make me feel like why don't I have that kind of lifestyle? Why don't I look like that? Um, and kind of stick to more like the things that I do enjoy, which is, you know, places out in London that I would like to visit, you know, ideas for making something creative. Book talk, I'm currently reading some books at the moment. Book talk, I like that. Which is quite nice and just funny stuff.

Like I want to still enjoy social media because I think it can be a great platform for a little bit of fun, sharing what you're doing with your life. But I think the toxicity of it needs to be curated at. And then you can do that because you know what triggers you. Yeah. Great shout.

That's a good one. I think I would say for me personally is, I have this term which is called let it marinate. So let yourself marinate, which basically means sometimes give yourself time off certain things, for instance, social media. I have an obsession with these tenders. I've not watched these tenders

for the past like three weeks now. Do you? Yeah, I've not been watching it. So I think removing yourself out of situations helps you to reflect, not self, it's kind of like self-analyze. Self-reflection. Yeah.

Self-reflection, journal, how you're feeling, and literally just being tapped with self. And you feel like when you're in the world or in like the social media presence, because there's so much like going on, you can't hear your own, you can't hear yourself think. So I feel like taking, keeping that, putting yourself on the side, let yourself marinate.

Like you're seasoning chicken, let the flavor sink in, do you know what I mean? Like let yourself marinate. Like your seasoning chicken, let the flavor sink in. Do you know what I mean? Like let yourself marinate. And then when you are ready to be cooked or when you're ready to come back into like social media, then you go in there with a different type of perspective. I'm currently marinating. I think I am as well.

Marinating, yeah. I've like, I've not been like, what I've been doing this month is instead of seeing what everyone else is doing on Instagram, I've kind of like, I go on it, but as soon as I go on it, I turn off of it. I've just been taking little videos every day inspired by like your little vlogmas.

And then at the end of the month, I'm just gonna share what I've done in one video as a kind of roundup. And that's not gonna be for anyone else, but my friends and family and for me. Yeah. I have decided to delete TikTok. I miss you guys.

No, purely because. When? I just did it like last week. Wow. Purely because I. So you're not missing all the TikToks I sent you last night. No.

It's because, no, no, hear me out. It's because, because I would tell myself I spend a lot of time on TikTok because it brings me joy and it makes me laugh. And it does do that. But I haven't been in a good mental health space and I have been using TikTok to numb how I'm feeling. And I've not even been getting those rushes of dopamine

that I keep talking about, it's making me happy. I can't remember the last time I laughed at a TikTok, probably when I got banned in America. And- Commonwealth TikTok was quite good. What's that? Commonwealth TikTok. I wasn't on that.

See, I mean, I was on the dark side of it and I feel like I was scrolling and I was scrolling and I was doing nothing to nourish my own soul. I wasn't reading, I wasn't going out and exercising. I wasn't utilizing my evenings as a way to wind down from work. And I feel like the minute that I decided to take that stand, it's like, it's been a chain reaction

of just like me feeling like I'm caring for myself and my brain and I'll come back to it at some point. But for now it's like reflection that I'm watching other people's lives too much. Yeah. Yeah. So Lauren's marinated. When Lauren comes back, she gonna be tasty and flavorful. Oh, you fucking-

Lime, lemon and herb. You've marinated him, baby. You're fucking mango-aligned. Salt and pepper. Paprika. Paprika's spicy. Because you're a bit spicy. Spicy.

Yeah, just marinate. If you had to be a spice, what would you be? A spice. Yeah, what spice? You know I can't take spice. Sweet chili. Sweet chili. Sweet chili.

Peri peri. Peri peri. Peri peri. Maybe. You don't know any herbs. I don't know nando sponsor us thank you yeah hello nando's we love you thank you so much for that chat today peeps i feel like i've got some stuff on my chest that was almost like a therapy session yeah it was it was and i really love the way you think thanks guys it took a long time to get there but i'm i'm glad that I'm here now.

Yeah. Yeah. Click, click for that. And I love the way you think, but you are a boy. Yeah. Am I? Well, thanks so much for joining us everyone. If you have any dilemmas or any thoughts

on today's episode, send them to us at tf4 at jugglecreations.com or slide into our DMs on all our platforms, follow our new Instagram, tf4, and we will see you next week!