Tea at Four - "You’re Not A Real Lesbian" - Leigh Harris Chats The Toxic Backlash Since MAFS UK

Episode Date: December 18, 2025

We're back! And today on Tea At Four we're spilling all the Married At First Sight UK tea with Leigh Harris. We're going past the edit to find out what happened when the cameras stopped rolling, why Leigh got so much hate and how she'd dealt with the backlash, and why people think she's 'not a real lesbian'.We also dive deep into toxic dating life, and the shortage of masc lesbians right now...Send us your dilemmas, tea or quite frankly anything you find funny to [e-mail].💖 Watch on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Teaatfourpod💖 Follow on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@four.nine💖 Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fournine/?hl=en Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nine times out of ten, someone will ask me as a gay man, what are you top or bottom straight away? Well, it's relevant. Yeah, it can be. Not if I'm just buying a coffee. I'm me. Hey guys, welcome back to Tiet Four. I'm Billy. I'm Christy, and this is a podcast where we talk all things that normally stay in a group chat.

And today, we are joined by a very special guest. Please give it up for Lee. She's here. Happy! Welcome, welcome. Thanks to having me, guys. Thanks for joining us. How are you?

Excited to be here. Yeah. Yeah. I am. though. Yeah, he's exhausting work, isn't it? It is. It is.

So how have things been since you were on Married at First Sight? Crazy. It's been non-stop because I'm like doing my day job and then I feel like Hannah Montana at the moment. I'm not joking. I'm like doing my day job in the daytime and then I'll go home, get ready quickly and then I'm at a film premiere. So it's like I can't keep up. It takes it out of you as well when you've got so much going on. It's been really weird watching this show back for one because it's really different watching it than it is being in it.

so that's a bit strange and then it's just all kicked off since then it's just been non-stop like events different stuff and obviously I'm still trying to live my normal life of my job as well so there's a lot going on so you're balancing the two yes you're just like no you know what I've been on TV you can't do it no more but you guys yeah literally this is my life now how's that going it's a lot I mean the thing is I don't want to I don't want to leave my job like my normal job that I had beforehand because that's my stability um so I'm kind of trying to juggle both at the minute but it's fun and same time. I mean, I've got so many good opportunities. I'm meeting so many fun people. I'm doing stuff like this. So I'm enjoying it. It's fun. And how has like the dating life been since

you've been on the show? Well, cricket. No, I've had some on and off. Just nothing this really worked out for me. And I've just, it's nearly Christmas. And I've just thinking to myself now, going into 2026, I think I just need to be on my own. Yeah. I really do. I think I just need some time on my own focus on me focus on work and yeah if it comes along it comes along that's very healthy attitude I think now before you went on the show what was your like experience with dating like because as a queer man it's the pits you said as a queer man as a single woman yeah for all of us you literally trash yeah horrible what was it like for you I mean I was quite lucky really because I was in an eight year relationship so for a lot of my like adult life I was in a relationship with

somebody with a girl. We were engaged like you know we had we were doing the whole thing we thought we was going to get married have kids and that was that and things just happened the relationship didn't work out it broke down and we broke up at the beginning of 24 and then sort of mid to end of 24 I was dating a little bit and again just nothing was really working out but then I got approach for maths but it's weird one for me because I've never I don't like dating sites they stress me out like one the they're too much, too keen, I can't really handle that. And then you've got the psychopaths. And I just think, if I'm going to meet you and I don't know you,

I'm like, right, mom, I'm going to send you my location because this one seems a little bit of me. Yeah. I just don't trust it. So, yeah, when maths approached me, I thought, well, might as well give that a go. I think that's absolutely wild. Like, I hear the concept of maths,

but in just the process of the first day I meet somebody, I'm getting married, what do you mean? But even speaking on the dating scene as well, it's that crazy because I came across, there's a new app now called Breeze, where apparently, so you match with somebody, but you don't get to see them, you see who they are, right? You don't get to talk to them until you go on your first date. So Breeze have links with like different locations. Let's say, for instance, what we've been matched.

So let's say our first date would be a cheeky Nando's, right? So the people in Nandoes know exactly who we are and that we're going on the first date, but we won't speak until we actually meet at the location. No way. I think that is wild. Yeah, that is wild. I mean, but you know what? If there's one thing I will say is it does work out for some people.

Like with that though, you're not matched by a team of people. So you could be complete opposite. It might not work out. But yeah, I'd give that a go. I don't know how I say this. I'm a little bit traumatised from marrying a stranger. So I don't know my word actually. What did you like find your experience was like?

like with the matching up because I feel like as queer people, there's so many more factors that people don't really take into consideration. Yeah. Like it's not just about appearance. It's like, I don't know. Like there's, there are different types of categories of people in the queer world. And you don't always, you have to find someone attractive visually. And then like for gay men, are you top, your bottom?

Are you masks, you femme? Yeah. Like, what's top bottom? Sorry, that might be a conversation for another day. 9.1.4 after 9 p.m. All right. It's a sexual position prevention. Oh, okay, I get it now.

I mean, yeah, the clue's in the name. I thought I was at top, heavy, bottom, heavy. I was like, what? Thank you. Sorry. He had the point, I was like, top point where you're on the bus? Right.

How? I've gone through years of this podcast and that has never come up. It's just Christy in it. Educated Christine. Yeah, educate Christy. Yeah, I'm blushing. That is hilarious.

Anyway, on to you. How was that experience for you? Well, do we really need to get into it now? No, the matching process, I feel like that's been an issue for me because I try to make it as clear as I possibly could beforehand that when we were going through. Like, they do such extensive conversations. They send you like checklist where you say what you would date,

what you wouldn't date, like ethnicity, body type, like where someone looks and their persona. Like, there's a lot that they ask you. I just don't think they always listen. And especially with the queer community. I think there's not like a there's a checklist but that's the same checklist that gets sent to whether you're gay straight lesbian so but those same questions won't apply for everybody else so I think that is something that needs to be altered a little bit because obviously I think they've looked at me and Leah and thought great two lesbians they want the same things out of life they're both quite headstrong that'll work but like well no because there was a lot more that I said that I probably wouldn't be able to form like a sexual connection with if she was a a certain type of person and that's just not that's not me being fussy.

No, I agree. That's just what I know that I like in a sexual sense. Yeah, you can't, you're not, you're not gonna be sexually attracted to everyone. No. Do you know what I mean? And like, that's the one thing I always find really bizarre like when we watch the show is like, how can you like force that? Do you know what I mean?

If you're not sexually attracted to someone and you as a person, and especially as queer people were very much, like, whether you're gay or a lesbian, you pretty much know what you like. and there's no like being around the bush. Some people like both, like in terms of the categories, but either way you know what you like, and if it's not for you, it's not going to work.

No, literally. But the thing is, I obviously at the beginning I said my type was mask. And so Leah is not mask in any sense of the word. I think there's been like a bit of a common misconception that she's got masculine energy, but I don't think it's necessarily masculine. I think she's quite dominant. She's got quite a dominant persona.

So that's very different to my representation of what a masculine woman would be. So yeah, she was very opposite from like, not even just looks, but the way she presents herself, the way her mannerisms, like all of it. There was a lot tied in. But then I thought to myself, I'm here now, I've done all of this. We're obviously matched for a reason.

Let me just see and find out. And obviously feelings did start to develop, but I just think we weren't ever able to get over that hurdle. Do you know what I've realised? Now I'm just listening to you and actually reflecting back and watching the show, I love how you actually stood your ground in regards to you, I know what I like, this is what I really want.

Because a lot of the time, in certain situations, not just the show, like, somebody would be like, you know what, this is the person they've matched me with. Let me just go over the flow. You kind of put your own feelings and emotions to the side. And we're like, you know what? I'm here now. Let's see if it can work out. But then what you've done, especially just looking at your journey within the show,

it's like, now I get it. It's like what you are seeing. Nobody else was seeing it. Yeah. So it's like, get into a point of people understanding why, why you went at your pace and why it plays, out how it played out. I get it now. And like you guys were saying,

like, it's very much not spoken about. People don't get it the way you guys are explaining it. I've got a lot of hate for that as well. Like a lot of people were like, you know, well, she's gay, you're gay. Leah's putting in all this effort, why are you not? And I'm like, you just. That was me up until like the first, the last, sorry, sorry.

Right. The first, the last four episodes, I'm like, you know what? No, I'm taking it back. I'm sorry. No, I hear it. I think lesbians get that way more than what gay guys get it. Yeah.

I feel like if you have a conversation, nine times out of ten, someone will ask me as a gay man, what are you top or bottom straight away? No, I do. Like, that's almost like the first question that people ask regardless if I'm meeting them for the first time. Well, it's relevant, no.

Yeah, it can be. Not if I'm just buying a coffee. I mean, yeah, true, yeah. But like, with lesbians, I feel like they're not given the same kind of, I don't know, it feels a little bit misogynistic, is what I'm trying to say, is that, like, women's values. aren't given the same as what men are.

Do you know what I mean? And you're not listened to in the same way that gay men are. And therefore it feels really kind of like, when you see all that discourse happening, it's like, you're just not listening to her. Like people aren't listening to you and they have this perception of like not actually understanding queer people. Yeah, I think that's what it comes down to, to be honest.

Like a lot of people in my comments, like I said, it was very much like, well, they're both like, Leah's trying, she's gay. Why are you not, she's stunning, why you're not interested? I know that. and I've said that. I know she's a good looking girl. I'm not taking that away from her,

but I can't force something that isn't there. So I'm going to go at my own pace. And people were saying that I wasn't trying and I wasn't putting in effort. But if I weren't, that's what I was doing by staying because I was a lot further behind than Leah was. And also, like, you know, there's a lot of pressure on intimacy as well.

And I think Leah would have been quite open to being intimate with me early on. But again, like, I'm on a TV show for one. But also in my normal life, I'm not going to rush to sleep with somebody if I don't see longevity, I'm just not going to do it. So, like, I've just got that self-respect. And so I got a lot of heat for that,

but I thought I'm not going to compromise on that because it's who I am. Yeah, props to you, Mama. Honest is very important. Thanks, guys. Clats to that. We'll do a Julia Ruth. Yeah.

Plag it. On the intimacy thing, I find it such, again, a weird concept that, like, I guess it's part of the show, but, like, you're told, now kiss but if you don't have that feeling and you don't like it's weird to then kiss somewhere you don't have that attraction to and most people do fold and we'll just do it I'm not that person and I again got a lot of hate for it but I'm not going to do something that I don't

want to do for the sake of producer telling me to like I just I'm just not going to it and I know I get the element of you know you're going into a show to marry a stranger be open be vulnerable and I do get that to a sense and I think I was quite a standoffish I'll take that but also with those types of things like wanting to spend the night on my own on the wedding night again like I just met Leah I just met all of these people I knew I was going on a honeymoon with her the next day

literally the following morning after meeting her and I just thought I just need a few hours on my own you know I need like a day away from my friends let alone a complete stranger and then also you're like you're not alone because you've got all the crew and the producers yeah how involved are they kind of like

in these situations they're obviously giving you these prompts but is any of it kind of like even more produced than what we realize. I think the conversations are very authentic. They're not very, yeah, they don't really get involved in that. Only really at dinner parties, they might sort of chime in and say, well, could you ask so and so a question? And then the conversation flows off of that and that's all authentic.

So they might, if just something's not been brought up, they might give you the tip to like, can you bring this up? But between couples, it's kind of very much, it is just your normal conversation. But like, talking about that night of the honeymoon, obviously I'd said to production, I wanted to spend the night on my own. I said, I'm going to have a conversation with Leah. I just want to spend the night on my own.

And they said, well, can you wait and not have the conversation with her until we're on camera? And I'm like, is that necessary? And they was like, well, no, because we've got to do a bedding down scene. So, like, we're going to have to wait until you're together to do that part. So I'm like, right, okay, fair enough. So Leah's had to, she's mentioned this before. She's had to cart all of her luggage upstairs into our wedding suite, get into the wedding suite. For me to then be like, do you mind if we separate?

And then production are like, Lee, you won't be leaving. Like, Leah's got to leave and go to another room. So I just look like a dick. Yeah. That's so unbear. I know. Like, I've sent her off. I don't want you to have this lovely room.

I don't want you to stay with me off your pop. And it wasn't that at all. I know. It's cheeky. It's so cheeky. And I've got so much backlash for that. I'm like, it's not my fucking face. How have you, like, dealt with the backlash or like the comments?

It's been rough. at past. Like, it's been quite tough. Facebook is fucking relentless. Oh, do not touch Facebook. That place is the pits. Yeah, it is. That an X.

Yeah. Not for me. Yeah, it's been rough at times. But I just, I got into the habit of just not going, looking for it. Like, if I don't go and look at comments elsewhere, I can filter my own. So I'll just block out the noise on my own socials and not look for it anywhere else. And that's what I started to do. But yeah, it was quite bad at one point.

I was a little bit like, God, what I've done? You've got to protect your peace like that, though. Literally, yeah. I won't read the comments on our like 200-view video, let alone like it being blasted, like a bloody news outlet. No, you're good for that because I think what has it been like in terms of the support from the show in terms of mental health?

Because these things happen, these things break out. Is there a support system in place or? Yeah, massively. Like, there's one thing that I can take away is that that support in that element is so, so, so good. Like, you have a welfare team. and they are very much involved when you're filming or throughout the summer when you go home to your normal life

again when the show's airing and even now they're very, very involved. They're calling you every day, always checking in if anything you need and then also we have Sykes available as well so if we called welfare and said like I'm really not doing well can you book me a psych you can literally get it for the same night. So they are very very supportive yeah

especially during filming as well I think because you're so isolated from your own support system they have to make sure that that's there because otherwise people just wouldn't be able to cope but it is very intense. It's so, yeah, that's really good to hear because you always think with these reality shows where they're kind of like profiting off of people's emotions

and real life experiences that they should at least have those kind of like basics like foundations in place to protect them. 100% in my experience. I've never like anyone that I've spoken to from the show has always said the same thing. They like even do like consent chats like the, following, like every morning when you're filming, they'll knock on the door, they'll separate you

and your partner, take you into separate rooms, have a chat, did you have, was you sexually active last night? If you was, was it consensual? Um, very, like, every morning without foul. So if anything was happening untoward, they would know about it. Love that. That's so important as well, especially like, I know we keep going back to it and like the intimacy and like, yeah, to know that that's in place makes, I don't know, it makes me respect the show a lot more. Yeah, I think, well, because these people are strangers, aren't they, ultimately? So they've got to make sure they're covering that And they do, definitely do

Good, I mean, moving on to like The dinner party aspect of the show Because I feel like that's where all the drama just takes place How long are you filming those for? A very, very long time. They're about 14 hours. So you have to... 14 hours?

Yeah, they are long. So you have to... There's so many elements to it. So we're not sat at that dinner table for 14 hours. Like, they are very broken up days. So you film at home at the apartments before you leave so you do you're getting ready scenes then you film on your way in the car and then you get there and you sort of wait around for a little while and then you go in to do

the mixer and so each couple goes in obviously one at a time that takes a while so you've got your waiting around while all the couples are going in then you have a break in between you come out of the mixer and then you go into the dinner party so the whole day of filming is about 14 hours maybe a little bit longer you don't normally wrap until about 2 a.m. 3 a.m. So okay what if like because I'm just I'm just trying to remember the show right let's say you had an argument somebody you're you're riled up you're angry in the morning yeah so you're telling me there's 12 hours filming days yeah by the time i get to the dinner i'm not angry yeah so what do they like prompt you to kind of be like remember you were angry now let's let's

know yeah they do that work oh that was stress me out throughout the day they'll be like right so what is it you're going to say like what have you got anything on your mind that you want to get off your mind like go through with me what you want to talk about and so because you're constantly throughout the day talking about you're viling yourself up still and you think, do you know what? Get me in here. Oh my day. Those things are like,

are you allowed to alcohol throughout the, that? Oh yeah, a lot. A lot. At the mixes, so we're like, yeah, it goes off. And the mixes. I love that though because like,

even like with other dating shows like Love Island, the best of like even Big Brother, like the better shows were when people were just allowed to. Allow to just drunk. I mean, there is a little bit of a limit though. They do kind of say like if they know, is that someone's getting a little bit too much, then they'll say, like, no, have it.

Because they have on the table. They'll have like no secco, so it's got no alcohol in it. So they'll sort of say, like, no, have one of them. Or have a water for a minute. Have some food. That's normally leisure, actually. That would be me, but I wouldn't even be arguing, and I'd just be sleeping.

Yeah. Get through like a bottle of wine and then fall asleep at the dinner party. Yeah. But it's good though, because obviously when everyone gets quite drunk at the mixes and then you go out and you have lunch, so you have food and you've got time sober up before you go into the dinner party.

So you're well, well prepared to go in with a good head on your shoulders. That's good. So touching on what we mentioned earlier with your type being mask, some of my lesbian friends have said that they think there's, or feel there's a shortage in mask women. Do you think this is the case as well? Yes, I do. I mean, I'm not actively looking, so it's hard for me to say,

but I do feel like to find somebody that's normal, good looking, funny. you know, like just the basics that you need to get it going. Yeah. Yeah, it's really hard to find. It is hard to find. But then again, like I said, I mean, no rush. And I just want someone with emotional intelligence. Do you know what I mean?

A mask that's like decent looking, got a bit of sex appeal and emotional intelligence, that's not too much to ask for, is it? I don't think, anyway, Jesus. I feel like we're in a very toxic era. It's hard for people to be very open and vulnerable. Do you know, I mean? I wouldn't call myself toxic, because I'm not,

I can't, I'm not, but I do feel like it's kind of hard to sometimes just have that vulnerable state and what the type of vulnerable, or emotionally available person you want might not actually be that person or they might have it, but it takes them a while to get to the point

where it's like, yeah, you've connected emotionally. And I don't know why that is. I mean, or like they'll end up fucking it up before you even get to that point. Like I saw a quote the other day and it was like, stop reminding me how strong I am

when I come to you for a place to be weak and it's so true Can you just reload it? It's so true like you go to somebody to be vulnerable and then they're constantly doing things that's reminding them why, reminding you why you have to keep being strong

and you can't be weak with somebody. Oh my gosh. I know, yeah, that got deep, didn't it? Sure it is, because I've recently I've started therapy, right? Yay. I know. I know.

I know. Literally. But before it was such a taboo for me. I was just like, no, but like I'm the, I'm the eldest. I'm the, you know what I'm the fun person in the group. I shouldn't be going through all these emotions. But what I've realized is actually actually finding a open, safe space in front of my friends. And I never thought it was available until I spoke about it and they allowed me in.

And now I was like, guys, I need to talk. Like, guys, I don't feel, you know, I don't feel good. I don't, I feel like I do. You need that outlet, if that makes sense. and again social media things like ex Facebook Facebook TV they don't show a lot of vulnerability I don't know if you guys been watching I'm a celebrity this year I didn't watch you this year no I didn't

but literally that has been the most like I've the most I've seen people men female being so emotionally open open to vulnerability and it's kind of like changed the way people see being vulnerable and I do feel like a lot TV need to like touch in on that as well because there's not there's there's not much episodes or even shows that touch like touch on that at all everyone's just like yeah antagonist the protagonist this person's this the hard head there's never like the i think even reality tv does that there doesn't it like they love a villain

of course everyone's got a character yeah yeah but there's like going back to what you said this so much like you being like the eldest sibling and the strong one in your friendship group like there is so much strength in getting help that i feel like that makes you a stronger person and it makes you the person that people can rely on because you're self-aware. Like if you just sort of sell through life, I think, thinking that you've got everything figured out, you should have everything together,

you will reach a point where you'll crash. But I feel like working on yourself, being self-aware, having that personal development is what keeps you the strongest. Yeah. So. Beautifully sad. Honestly.

That's for that. Life coach. Yeah. No, just don't. Don't get me deep because I'll go deep. I'll go deep. Just with the mask thing, like, do you find, like, in the lesbian community, is there an element of, like, almost, not misogyny, but almost like,

you're, like, people are like, well, you look really feminine and you're an Essex girl. Like, is there any element among the lesbian community that makes you feel a little bit, like, oh, rude? It's not really in the community, to be honest. It's out of, it's out of the community. Like, I'm very much accepted by people in the community. It's the people that aren't, like, a lot of people since have assumed that, because I didn't have sex with Leah

and because I wasn't necessarily the most forthcoming that I must not be a lesbian. Oh. That's the thing right now. That's the theme is that like, well, she's obviously not a real lesbian. Wow. It's crazy, isn't it?

Because I didn't have sex with someone on TV. Yeah. And I again think this is down to misogyny because queer women get this way more than what gay men do. Like a straight man almost can't do anything remotely gay without being accused of being gay. Yes. But women have to be someone else's idea of what a lesbian is

to be class as a lesbian. Yeah. It's mental. And it's crazy as well. If you look at like music videos back in the days, girl on like video vixons, girls are always meant to be very sexual. So it's like if you're not then being intimate with this person,

are you sure? Are you playing? Are you acting here? Yeah. So I, you just listen to you guys speak about speak on it. I'm just like, no, that's actually true. We've been like taught. We've been taught that.

that's the way it is like, go and girl, you guys automatically, no problems, you know, married, run off, honeymoon, you know, live your best life. Whereas, no, you guys have emotions. Sometimes it'll click, sometimes it won't. But why is it so hard for us to accept that? I know. I don't know. I mean, it's a very like tunnel vision way to look at it, isn't it from people. Like, well, if you're not having sex, you must not be a lesbian. Because I weren't the most forthcoming, obviously I'm not gay. I don't need to explain myself and be like, well, actually, I was in an eight-year relationship with girls, so promise I am. But like it's just, it's silly really than the way that people look at it. Like, because you don't want to have sex with a female, the only reasonable explanation is, well, you can't, you must not be gay. And the same, I feel like with bi people who are bi, they have it so hard because I feel like

by women are always told, oh, you have to fling with a woman and by men are always told, oh no, you're gay. Like there's people very rarely, like, actually have an understanding of like, You know, they really categorise people. And it's, for some reason, I think lesbians aren't taken as seriously. And they're kind of almost like having to prove themselves at every point if they don't fit that stereotype of what even is the stereotype of a lesbian nowadays.

100%. I mean, I don't know if you've ever had this, but like I got a lot in my first few years of coming out, like, oh, do you think it's just a phase? Wow. Or I feel like with gay men, this is just my, obviously, my opinion. But I think when you come out, once you come out, that's such a huge. thing that it's like well you've come out now there's no way we're gonna sit here and now think oh you might go back to women once you've come out that you're a gay man you're a

gay man for a lesbian in my experience it's I've come out but they're like well do you might you probably end up marrying a man but you're you know you're not this not going to stick around forever it's just a phase and so I've been through that that those experiences of like even family members like oh you know we think you're gonna end up with a man anyway and it's it's harmless I know they don't mean anything by it is just Genuinely, like, I think it's a generational thing. Like, there's less younger people saying it, and I find more people like my mum's age, like 60s, 70s saying it.

But yeah, there is that common misconception that it won't last. And you have to go through, like, the different stages of how you present yourself. If I don't present myself as what a stereotypical gay woman looks like, then either I'm not gay, I haven't. A lot of the questions I get is, well, have you had sex or a man? Or have you must have had just a shit sex. with men. These are all the things I get.

I've even had shit sex with men and so that's why I'm gay. I haven't had the right man so that's why I'm gay. It's a phase. Or I'm lying. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah, because everyone wants to lie about being gay for Oh yeah, because yeah. Yeah. I love this. Keep giving me the hate. Come on, give it to me mama. Do you get it like,

I always find that like with my queer friends who are female going to like a lot of bars if they're not again presenting in a way that the bars see as the stereotypical queer woman they're a lot of the time it's not allowed in they get like really a lot of the time it's like oh sorry it's members night and I'm like oh my god see I've never experienced that but that is so bad it's really bad if they don't think um women are queer or if there's too many women a lot of time and it's the big ones in london we just be like, sorry, members night. And there's no such thing.

That's wild to me. It's crazy, isn't it? I mean, because like, especially the LGBTQIA plus community is about representation and about being able to fluidly be who you are. So that goes against everything that the community believes it. So that's wild to me that. There's some, like, the big ones often will just turn away groups of lesbians because they don't think they're gay.

Not fit in the niche, sorry It's mental That is awful No, me personally I've never experienced that But yeah I would kick off if I did I'd be like, what do you mean?

Let me in town I also wonder if you were If what on the show And like how you were like I don't want to have sex Blah blah I bet if you were a man on that show they'd be like

snaps to him Oh my God imagine how good that man would look Yeah I know That's so good for him Yeah Like I don't know Even in like previous seasons,

I'm not going to remember their names now, but there was like, there was a gay couple and they were having things, I think similar situation and they're like, one of them wasn't wanting to be intimate yet. And there was never a question about his sexuality. No, because it's a man.

So no one's going to second guess that are they? If a man, if a man chose to not yet sleep with his wife because he wanted to wait to build an emotional connection, which is exactly what I was doing, he would be commended for it. because I wanted to wait to build an emotional connection and have that safety with somebody,

I was hated for it. So it just goes to show how the difference in men and women or your sexuality plays such a huge part. There is misogyny in every community people. There absolutely is. That's what I say. Get rid of it. We're going to do some quickfire rounds

of the behind the scenes and after the show goes with you. Fun. Favorite person you met on the show? David. Oh, I love it. Literally. It's a good egg. What scene was blown out of a portion?

Oh, the fucking kiss with Leisha. Jesus Christ. I mean, I know the way I reacted, it was a little bit double standards. I take that now. But come on, like everyone with eyes would have seen that there was nothing in that.

Yeah, it was just like, Jesus Christ. And also, how many times have I said, Leah is not my type? Leisha is also in the same bracket is Leah, so no one worry. Yeah. What was the food like on the tables when you served a dinner?

Cold and vile. Oh my God, really? Yeah. It was like chicken, potatoes and like one stem of broccoli and it was freezing cold every time you got there. Oh my God. I always look so nice. Yeah, it looks nice.

Put your hands on it. It's like a bit of ice. No, honestly, I couldn't eat it. And it was it the same every day? Yeah, every time. Seriously? And then there was like a bowl of like bread rolls, like just white rolls and we just think those instead.

No dessert? Just lived off of them. No, no dessert. That is torture. No. You wonder where everyone's fuming at the dinner vise. What was your favourite day throughout the whole show? I've actually not thought about this.

It was just too much drama. I loved the big night out when all of the cast came back because that was eventful. There was just so much going on. That was a fun day. There's so many moments I enjoyed. I can't pick one. Honestly, I had so many. any really good moments, but that big night out was, that was iconic.

Oh, I love that. Who would you avoid in the pub, not including who shall not be named? Oh, who would I avoid? Probably Joe, maybe. Oh, but then I don't know. I'll probably say hello. It's not really a problem, is he? I don't know.

Probably Lisa, because she's a fucking nightmare when a night out. What is one piece of tea that happened off camera that you wish was shown? I really feel like there's tea that happened. because the dramatic parts got shown but I think there was just a load more from my side and a load more to see from that would prove my points that I was disappointed didn't get shown because I looked miserable I looked like I didn't want to be there I looked like I wasn't enjoying my marriage at all but in reality there were a lot of good moments there were a lot of fun there were a lot of smiles there were a lot of deep conversations that me and Leah did have where we got on

really well so I was just yeah I suppose I'm gutted that those didn't get shown and then finally for me what is like the favorite thing you've learned from doing the show oh that's a good one there's a few to be fair I mean the self-development that I've done since has been huge like I went back to therapy I like learned a lot about myself in relationships because I think it's easy to feel like you know yourself well and so you get back into another relationship that triggers you and then you're like I actually need to do a little bit of work there, so I was able to come away and do that. And also that I think, like, I'm proud of my boundaries.

I'm proud of my self-respect, my boundaries, like how I advocate for myself and other people. Like, I knew that was a big part of who I am anyway, but being able to demonstrate that on a large scale and stick to my guns, like you said earlier on, like I was, I, there was so many opportunities where I could have folded, you know, I had producers in my ear. Leah, opinions of other couples,

all telling me, just do this, just do that, just do. And I'm like, no, I'm going to do what I want to do. And I'm going to stick to my guns. And I'm proud that I did that. Yeah. You should be. Thank you. Can I actually ask, or last question, like, if you had to pick your dream location, because I think you guys went for the honeymoon, you guys went to Switzerland. Yeah. Where would you have picked?

Oh, I don't know. I did love Switzerland. I do actually quite like a cold holiday. Yeah. Okay. Look quickly into it, I read someone that Do you get to choose whether you want to go hot or cold? No. You don't. No choice at all. You just get told.

Shut up, really? Yeah, and also, like, all they do is tell you what the degree is going to be. So, like, when you're packing, they'll go, well, it's going to be X, Y, Z degrees. So pack these types of things. That's all you know. Oh, my gosh. And you get told. If I could pick a dream destination, I'd probably be like the Maldives or something, wouldn't it?

You know, like, it's a free holiday. If I'm going to pick, I'm picking the best one. Is there any that you were, like, jealous of? Well no because a lot of the good ones had fucking disaster honeymoon I think there was a couple that went to like Oh it might have been the Maldives couple there has ended up being like a cyclone or what is it called? Oh my god yeah like a really bad storm and they was indoors for majority of the time so yeah So actually being in Switzerland is not a bad no I do you know what that's another thing as well

I was so happy with Switzerland when we opened that envelope I was like oh my god yes so excited love that But my face was like, that obviously those bits won't get anything. And how long were you out there for? Is it a week? A week, yeah. Oh, it's like six days maybe, yeah, yeah. All paid for?

All paid for. Oh, come on, all inclusive. Lovely. Maybe we'll have to do the show just for the free holiday. Yeah. I had a free wedding. I always think that. I don't feel I could do it.

I know my facial expression will get me in trouble. I would probably be like, guys, no, I got a goal. and nah I couldn't do it I actually think I have all the day in the shows that's the one that speaks to me the most on paper because I like the idea of like these experts are going away and actually thinking

they know what's best for me but then as we see that's not always the case it's not but then like two people could look really well suited on paper and so to the experts they think well there's not many reasons why this wouldn't work and so I can see that from their point of view especially with that Dean and Sarah for

example right everything that she said she wanted out of a person Dean was the attraction just wasn't there had that of being there they would have been the perfect couple yeah and it's just that that she couldn't get past that point and so you can't really anticipate that beforehand so it's why it's an experiment though isn't it what do you think they can do maybe to improve the process like we were talking earlier about like having those extra maybe factors to take into consideration I think for the queer community I think there needs to be a queer expert. I nominate myself for the job. Love. Yeah.

Standard with that. That's actually quite true because yeah. I think it's really difficult when you're sitting down having conversations about intimacy and type and while you're struggling to make a connection with free heterosexual experts. It's difficult. I mean they can have a wide understanding of the community and that's great which I think they do to an extent but it's not the same when we were being asked about intimacy I had to sit and go in detail. and try and explain, well, if I say to you, me and Leah have had sex, but then I tell you exactly what act we did, you might then as a heterosexual person, turn around to me and say,

well, that's not sex, but that is my representation of sex. I completely agree, like, what sex is, like, yeah, it's all sex in my book. Yeah. Like, I don't have to tell you the details. No. But I think heterosexual couples have a very different take. Yeah, a very different take. They do.

I think that's having a queer expert makes so much sense. It does. I think there would be like a lot more understanding and a lot of different types of questions, you know. And not that you shouldn't have to sit there and go into detail about what sex act, like what. It's not really anyone's business. No, it's not. You don't have to go into detail. But when you're when you're talking about intimacy, it's such a broad spectrum in the queer community. So if you were to ask Lisa and Reese, have you had sex? And they go, yes.

Very straightforward. You know what they've done. Yeah. Whereas if you ask me and Leah and we say yes, you don't actually really know what we've done. And so that would be open to a conversation of a wider audience then saying, well, they haven't had texting, have they? Because our...

Yeah, which also then opens up a new battlefield of like... Yeah. ...inquent people having an opinion. Yes. It doesn't matter. So maybe actually they just keep those scenes off camera as well. Yeah, but also I think if there was a queer expert, then there would be that validation from them.

Like that understanding and that validation, I think for people to see that on TV would give that understanding or that education that people don't necessarily have because it's not a conversation that happens often, especially not on TV. So to be able to have someone sat in the chair as an expert that are well respected because they are as experts

to give that validation and to give that education to the couple and also to the viewers watching, I think would be a huge thing. Maths, you heard it here first, 2026, get Leon. Get me on. Get her on. Get her on.

And then maybe I'll sign up. So what is 2026 looking like for you, my dear? It's an exciting one because I feel like my life is changing a lot. But I feel like I've got a lot to give. Like at this point, I'm not thinking about what I can get. I'm thinking about what I can give. Obviously prior to doing maths, I was doing a degree in counselling. So that's really important to me, like mental health and, you know,

self-awareness and advocating for yourself is, or like something that is really a big part of who I am. So I'm trying to at the moment figure out what I can do to offer that support to people. And I get so many DMs from people. Like I wish you were the friend that I had. Like I wish someone had my back the way you have people's backs and how you did on the show. And like people giving me like relationship scenarios and they're like, this is what's happening in my life.

Can you tell me like, can you give me some advice? So I'm trying to like figure out how I can deliver that to people. So that's important to me. And also I'm just going to see where the year takes me. You never know. It's an exciting one. Will we see you on any future dating shows again? Probably not a dating show.

No. I definitely would love to do more TV. I really enjoyed it. I'd do like Big Brother. Can you imagine me on I'm a celebrity? Fucking hell. That would be the least of my list. Yeah.

Yeah. It would be great TV for me to do that. So everyone else would enjoy it. I would just be in the pits. trial trial trial trial yeah it would be that literally would be me um so yeah i would do shows like that but i don't think i'd do another dating show i just think like you just never know how it's going to go do you i was a stranger and also yeah love is at the back of the book for me at the moment not concentrating on that we're gonna we're gonna keep setting our boundaries and advocating for

ourselves and be on our own yes and that is the perfect point to end on Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. I think we've had some good conversations. I think we've had some really important messages. Lovely conversations. So thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me.

And thank you for watching. We'll see you next week. Bye. Thanks guys.