TED Talks Daily - How to speak up — even when you don’t want to | Sarah Crawford-Bohl

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

What stops you from speaking up when it matters most? Healthcare leader Sarah Crawford-Bohl offers a practical, compassionate framework to have difficult conversations with clarity and heart — and shows how it can lead to stronger teams and real impact. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Why is it that for so many of us, silence in the face of an uncomfortable interaction feels like the easier path forward, even when we're dying to speak up? In her talk, healthcare executive Sarah Crawford-Bowell shares why we often struggle with confidence in challenging situations and offers steps for finding the courage to lean into tricky conversations. Silence. It can be a needed moment of peace and contemplation.

But what happens when silence becomes a barrier? A barrier that muffles the voice of truth, of advocacy, of change. Speak up, advocate for yourself, stand up. Advocate for yourself. Stand up for what you believe in. That's what they say, right? Well, even though I know they're right,

it's easier said than done. I'm sure we can all think of a time when we faced a crossroads. Perhaps the precipice of an uncomfortable conversation. when speaking up felt like the right, if not even essential path. But silence seemed safer. I can vividly see and feel myself being in those moments,

times when I stood red-faced, embarrassed or offended, frustrated or angry, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, unable to find my voice, and unsure if I had the courage, confidence, or will to face the difficult conversation before me. Sound familiar? We're not alone.

Research from VitalSmarts, a global leader in organizational performance and leadership, tells us people would rather quit their jobs than address a challenging situation. In this post-pandemic time, with baby boomers retiring and a wave of quiet resignation upon us, the world seems to be working short-staffed. I'm a nurse and have worked in healthcare leadership for a long time. And I'm here to tell you, in this profession, we can't risk losing anyone, especially not for the reason of avoiding a challenging conversation.

In a world where we are experiencing increasingly rapid cycles of change, we can expect difficult conversations, particularly in the workplace, to happen more often than ever before. Moments such as sharing feedback, identifying mistakes, or calling out disrespect. They're not always easy, but often critical to the performance of both individuals and a team. In health care where stakes are high, our willingness to raise concerns can be vital to the quality of care we provide,

but also to the safety of patients and the care team. In fact, research also tells us that when we do speak up, we experience more job satisfaction, increased team morale, and in my world, support better patient outcomes. I've experienced this for myself. Now, I don't have all the answers, and I don't always get it right. In fact, I make a mess of it sometimes.

But often I've found it's a bit like cardio or weightlifting. Well, we feel a bit vulnerable at the time. With practice, we start to experience the benefits. It gets easier, and we get better at it. We need to find a path to help us get past that initial fight, flight, or freeze response, to get us to the table and make leaning into uncomfortable conversations the desired action for our own benefit, as well as to benefit those around us. Now, I was fortunate. I had some amazing role modeling by parents

who encouraged me to use my voice, specifically when I knew I should, but didn't want to. My mom, an intensive care nurse for many years, had a special ability to address tough topics. Traumas, embarrassing bodily functions, or sharing critical feedback. She always created airtime for normally avoided matters.

With a fierce moral compass that was sometimes incredibly frustrating, she advocated for what was right, showing me the importance of standing up for oneself and others, even when uncomfortable to do so. My mom, she died a long time ago now, and I still miss her desperately. Something I think I miss the most though, is her always knowing the right thing to do,

and the way she guided me with that moral compass. And despite having a couple of degrees under my belt, lessons learned from that moral compass, they guide me more than any of my formal learning. She showed me that as leaders, and I mean all leaders, both formal and informal, we play a pivotal role in leaning into courageous conversations and creating a safe place for others to do the same.

It's probably her strong commitment in this area that inspires me to go into healthcare leadership, a path that often puts me in an area of high conflict and tricky conversations. But in doing so, exposes me to innovation, change-making, and meaningful work. It's an incredible career that I'm honored to be a part of, and I owe it to my mom and myself to do it well. So when I find myself needing courage and confidence, making that momentous step into the abyss of a difficult conversation,

I try to remember my mom's moral compass and the principles she worked so hard to nurture in me. I imagine holding a compass in my hand, the cool metal upon my skin, taking a breath, a moment to pause and ground myself. I see the directions of north, south, east, and west as symbols, reminders of her core teachings. North. I think about the North Star, a guide towards the good and right thing to do.

In tricky situations, I remember my mom's voice. Be the best version of yourself. Take the high road. Say what needs to be said. South? The S in South reminds me of support. When people support me, I feel seen, cared for. When it comes to supporting others, I try to do the same. Leaning into tricky conversations with kindness and an intention of helping people grow.

And EAST, the E stands for empathy. Empathy sets the tone for a conversation. As a leader, I want people to feel safe coming to me. I try to understand their feelings and create a safe place for them to be themselves. And West, the W stands for wonder, getting curious about what might be going on for the other person. I ask questions and listen,

so I understand before trying to be understood. When I focus on the principles of the compass, I'm able to move from reactive to proactive, getting into a mindset where I can be true to my values and share my voice. I recall a situation not long ago where I was able to put the compass to use. I was in a change management and communications role for a big project. And while the work was complex and bumpy, I was proud of myself. I was writing good stuff, inspiring hearts and minds. Or so I thought.

One day a physician came into the office where I was meeting with my boss, my boss's boss, and a number of other leaders. He had one of my newsletters printed out and was waving it in the air. Who is the cheerleader sending out this stuff? As an optimist, sometimes to a fault, I knew right away that cheerleader was me. While I was embarrassed, I had a split second to decide.

Stay silent or speak up. The compass came in handy in that moment. North Star, what was the good and right thing to do? Well, I needed to own my work, take the feedback. So I said, that would be me. What was the good and right thing to do? Well, I needed to own my work, take the feedback. So I said, that would be me. He lowered his arm and said, well, this is too positive, not an accurate representation of what we're going through.

Well, still defensive, I remembered support and empathy. I wanted to create a safe place where he could feel seen and heard. So, I suggested we sit down together so he could better understand his concerns. Next step? Wonder. We went to his office and I asked curious questions. And over some tea, he told me his story. He got out a red pen and circled the nine times I'd mentioned something positive in that article. I acknowledged. It was too many, understandably devaluing. I then asked if we could look for

times I'd mentioned challenges. To his surprise, and frankly my own, 18 times. 18. I'd mentioned things that needed to be fixed. I was able to let him know I was embarrassed by being called out in front of my superiors, and he apologized. You know, that time spent together, it was valuable for me.

And I think we both took something meaningful away. So I always remember the moral compass. North, North Star. South Support. East Empathy. And West wonder. I know when I'm true to my compass, I'm courageous, confident, the person I want to be, and I think the daughter my parents would be proud of. And with my husband and our two daughters, I get the chance to pay it forward. So I hope you'll join me in leaning into tricky conversations,

not only finding our voices, but understanding the imperative to use them. Stand up against the wrong, champion the right, and be the voice for those who cannot speak for themselves. No matter how shaky or unsure, we can be a powerful instrument of change and advocacy, leaving all people involved stronger as a result. Thank you. Applause Thank you. at ted.com slash curation guidelines. And that's it for today's show. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective.

This episode was produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, Alejandra Salazar, and Tonsika Sarmarnivon. It was mixed by Christopher Fazy-Bogan, additional support from Emma Tobner and Daniela Balorizo. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed. Thanks for listening. This episode is sponsored by Oxio. Home isn't just

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Stuck where I don't want to be. Stuck trying to get to where I really need to be. But then I discovered lifelong learning. Learning that gave me the skills to move up, move beyond, gain that edge, drive my curiosity, prepare me for what is inevitably next. The University of Toronto School of Continuing Studies, lifelong learning to stay forever unstuck.

With the FIZ loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. lifelong learning to stay forever unstuck.