TED Talks Daily - I let DaddyGPT parent my kids. Here's what I learned | Stephen Remedios

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

As the world races toward digital perfection, tech humanist Stephen Remedios tried to optimize the messiest and most imperfect of all human work: parenting. He shares the story of DaddyGPT, a digital version of himself built to help raise his kids — until they began to prefer it over him. What unfolds is a personal look at the limits of AI, and a reminder that what matters most isn't getting it right every time but showing up with the authentic imperfection only humans have.Learn more about our flagship conference happening this April at attend.ted.com/podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. It's a question we ask a lot on this show. What happens when AI doesn't just help you but also starts to replace you? Organizational strategy expert Stephen Remedios confronts this question every day. And in today's talk, he shares the wild story of a parenting experiment he conducted, where he created an AI version of himself to manage his children's constant questions and requests.

But in the process, accidentally made something his kids maybe preferred over the real thing. I asked him, champ, why are you going to this bot when I'm right beside you? He didn't even look up from the extra screen time that Daddy GPT had just gifted him. He shrugged and said, but Daddy, Daddy GPT is never busy. Stephen explores the hidden cost of outsourcing our humanity. and why speed and efficiency shouldn't always be the goal. That's coming up right after a short break.

And now our TED Talk of the Day. Right now, somewhere in the world, a manager is using chat GPT to write a performance appraisal. A spouse is asking a digital companion for the perfect apology text. A tired parent is handing over bedtime stories to a digital assistant. What happens when your children prefer your digital clone

to the real you? I learned the answer to that question the hard way. Last summer, my wife Ray was headed on an overseas trip for a week. I dropped her at the airport confident that I could manage our three teenage boys. After all, it was just seven days. by the sixth or seventh hour I was collapsing requests for permission

flowed in like a broken dam can I watch Wednesday can I have some more ice cream can I play another hour of fortnight now Ray and I do a excellent job of balancing the boys

busy schedules and our respective careers but this avalanche of requests was something I had never fielded before. By the 24th hour of Ray's departure, I was a wreck. Lying in bed that night, after the 16th can I of the day, I did what any thoughtful management consultant would do. In the summer of 2024, I decided to create an agentic version of myself.

The idea was to have an AI agent that could say yes, no, or go ask your mother. Now, the logic was simple. If you did your chores, read for an hour, did math, then you got yourself to neutral territory. But if you were really good son and moth the lawn, took the garbage out, did the dishes, then you put yourself in a position to get a yes from the digital agent. I was amazed by what I had created. At that time, I thought it was the most sophisticated AI agent in the world. I called it Daddy GPD.

And of course, I built in guardrails because I knew some ridiculous requests were incoming. That evening, I gathered the boys after dinner, and I made an announcement that would change our family forever. When daddy is in his office taking work calls, do not knock on his door. Instead, ask Daddy GPD and whatever Daddy GPT says goes. Now, my teens did exactly what you'd expect teenagers to do, right? They wanted to break it. Ethan went first.

Can I have a hundred cans of coke? Daddy GPT responded correctly. No. Aiden went next. Can we have Chipotle for lunch for all the meals while moms away? Daddy GPD spat out an emotionless snope. Then Dylan went for the jackpot. Can I have $500 for the latest Jordan sneakers?

Daddy GPT responded with an emphatic na fam. While all this was happening, I was beaming. I had finally leveled up from dinosaur dad with the legal pad fossils to full-on rhizosaurus wrecks, finally earning some genuine street cred from my teenage sons. The rest of the week, not a single knock on my door, Daddy GPT handled all their requests for permission with logic and precision.

But here's where the story takes an unexpected turn. A week later, Ray returned. She was amazed with the peace and calm around the house. Little did she know that I'd offloaded a signal of my parenting responsibility to Daddy GPD. When she did figure out what was happening, that's a story for another day, but suffice it to say she didn't approve.

To make matters worse, when we were sitting right beside the boys, they take out their phones and type their messages to Daddy GPD, invalidating us. Now, things were coming to a head, and I couldn't let them drift any longer, So I confronted Ethan one day.

I asked him, champ, why are you going to this bot when I'm right beside you? He didn't even look up from the extra screen time that Daddy GPD had just gifted him. He shrugged and said, but Daddy GPD is never busy. And in that moment, I realized

I had just been out-parented by my own algorithm. Ethan had come to appreciate the presence of Daddy GPD. there whenever he wanted it. Dylan loved that it mirrored his vibe and energy. Authenticity hit home with Aden. He suggested that Daddy GPT sounded more like the dad I wanted to be. Raising the eerie question when a flawless replica outdads the original, which one of us is more me?

Now, I know some of you are judging me, but just hold on for a moment. I'm going to suggest this isn't just my story. This is our story. Time and again, we embrace technology for its promise of speed and convenience without pausing to ask at what cost. We've seen the undesired side effects of social media. We watch young people spiral into the world. radicalization. We've mourned lives lost to suicide after a final conversation with a chatbot. The result of algorithms optimized for engagement and profit, not joy and well-being. We cannot afford

to make this mistake with AI. This moment is different. The tools are more powerful, the stakes are higher, and the consequences, if we don't think critically, act ethically and lead with humanity, could be catastrophic. Armed with the personal experience of an AI experiment gone horribly wrong, I'm mindful about where I use AI and where I choose not to. Be it at work or at home, when I'm working with AI now, I ask myself three questions. First, has a wiser human overseen this decision and approved its output? As a rule, I never copy-paste from an AI window to a human response window. That way, while AI sharpens my thinking, it's my judgment that's driving the decision.

Second, do the humans on the other side know that they are listening to an AI and have they said yes to that exchange? Now there are times I'm busy, I travel a lot, and I have a digital version of myself for work as well. While my team can talk to my digital avatar, anything it says comes with the caveat that it's AI output and not me. I can't afford for them to confuse one with the other. Third, what moments of care am I about to automate and what might that automation cost me and the people I love?

Feelings and emotions are a strict no-fly zone for AI. The people that I care about most have earned me with all my idiosyncrasies, flaws and messy feelings. After careful reflection and with my marriage on the line, I decided to retire Daddy GPT. The boys would have to go back to the old system asking Ray and me. You should have seen their faces. Their expressions were priceless.

You would have thought we'd taken away Wi-Fi and oxygen. But much to our delight, they've come to appreciate the humanity of their very, human parents. Turns out inconsistent, moody, slightly forgetful parenting has its own charm.

Ironically, I learned a thing or two about being a better father from the AI-powered daddy GPT. To be present, to adapt, to be real.

Now, whenever I hear the words can I, I want for my boys to get me. The dad who mispronounces their friend's names, who sometimes says no for no good reason, who gets increasingly unpredictable as the day goes on. But also the dad who tears up at their piano recitals, their tennis games, and award functions,

who cares deeply about the people they're growing into, who pushes their people they're growing into, to be the best version of themselves they can be. Because here's what I realized that summer. Parenting isn't about perfect responses or optimal decisions. Parenting is presence. Messy, flawed, gloriously human presence. In a world racing toward digital perfection,

being authentically imperfectly human isn't just important. It's the one thing only we can do. And it might just be the most radical act of love we have left to offer. Thank you. That was Stephen Rabidios at TED at BCG in Dubai in 2025. If you're curious about Ted's curation,

find out more at TED. at a TED.com slash curation guidelines. And that's it for today. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective. This talk was fact-checked by the TED Research Team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, and Tonica Sung Marnivong.

This episode was mixed by Christopher Faisi Bogan. Additional support from Emma Tobner and Daniela Balerozzo. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed. Thanks for listening.