TED Talks Daily - Save it to your desktop! | Alan Resnick

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

You're using your computer wrong, says comedian Alan Resnick. In an absurdist talk, he offers a simple solution to data leaking from your desktop (and desk's top). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. Many of the talks that we share change the way we think. Some change the way we work. This talk may change the way you use your desktop? Tonight I'm going to share with you my one simple trick that's going to make your life a lot easier. It's going to protect your data and it's going to calm you down. That's comedian and visual artist Alan Resnick, who's best known for his surrealist work,

with the Cartoon Network's beloved nighttime TV block, Adult Swim. But in this absurdist talk, he's here to tell us that we've been using our computers wrong, or specifically our desktops. And it is completely, sincerely, 100% earnest. Really? Or is it? If you follow my simple rule, save it to your desktop. You're not only going to have an awesome desktop, you're actually going to have a wicked, awesome life.

And just a quick heads up, this talk is quite visual, so as I do sometimes, I will be jumping in at a few points throughout to describe key moments on stage. If you are able, please visit ted.com to watch the video version also. It's coming up right after a short break. And now our TED Talk of the Day. My name is Alan Resnick. And if you don't know me, I'm a bit of a tech head.

What does that mean? It means an average day for me is spent surfing the web, checking my emails, and just clicking on links. That's sort of me in a nutshell. And when I'm not doing that, I tour the country, and I teach people how to use computers. And the number one thing I've noticed all over is that people are afraid of computers. They're scared. And don't get me started on the internet, you guys.

Has anyone here ever been online? Two, three hands? You guys got to get online. It's incredible. I'm telling you, there's some crazy stuff online, you guys. I don't have time to get into it right now, but they have photos and videos of people online, and they're performing a kind of love that I am not comfortable with.

Okay? And they have your data. They do. These sick people have your data. Are you comfortable with that? I'm not. But I have a question for you guys, and it is a real question. How do you use your computer?

How do you guys use your computers? Just curious. Can we get her a mic? How do you use your computer? Well, I usually use my computer for work, so emails and, you know, sending messages to folks. Okay, shut up. No, no. Internet.

This is wrong. This is incorrect. I hate to say this, but you're using your computer wrong. You know, not use. I don't love that word, use. We don't use computers, do we? No, I think of computers a little like grandparents, actually. You wouldn't use your grandkids.

mother, right? But your grandmother can make your life easier if you use her properly. So what is the proper way to use a computer? Tonight I'm going to share with you my one simple trick that's going to make your life a lot easier. It's going to protect your data and it's going to calm you down. Okay, here it is. What is he saying? Save it to your desktop. I can't hear what do you say? I'm saying save it to your desktop. It's as simple as that. Save it to your desktop. Okay. Yeah, we can for that. That's pretty cool. That is pretty cool. You're going, Alan, it can't be that easy. It is.

But before we can talk about desktops, we have to talk about something else. My skin, look at, whoa. My skin is vibrating. But it's vibrating, and it's very, hard to tell. This is vibrating, too, but I think you'll be able to see this. Can you see that? You see, white vibrates, too.

Are you, I need a response. Can you see that? You can? Okay. At least here, the that, Alan, is referring to, is a large flashlight, which he's just picked up from the table beside him. He shines it directly into the eyes of an audience member in the first row, who, after, he says, can you see that?

Nods, yes. That's because of the eye brain system. The visible spectrum, rods and cones, rods and cones, rods and cones. But my skin is vibrating too, but it vibrates at a rate that you can't see or perceive, but dogs and pets can actually hear.

They hear our skin. So I know you like to talk touch a little dog's head, but that passive action is actually causing them extreme inner ear pain, so you shouldn't touch dogs. But here's what you didn't know. My computer vibrates too. Did you know that? Computers vibrate, and they happen to vibrate at the exact opposite rate as human skin.

That's amazing. So when you're working with a computer, those vibrations are phasing, and when you touch a computer you have a vibration rate of zero. There is only one moment in every person's life when they have a vibration rate of zero, and that is on their fifth birthday when they blow out the candle. So you go, Alan, you convince me, if working with computer skills even half as good as a little boy's birthday, then sign me up. The glove is off and we're ready to change our lives forever.

But how? I already told you, desktop, save it to your desktop. I already said that. Save it to your desktop. Okay. I think you're ready. Do you guys want to see my desktop? I can't hear you. Do you guys want to see my desktop? Come on. Okay, let's do it. Here we go. Let's get it, put it up.

Here it is. It's my desktop. Whoa! That's amazing. You're going, Alan. I could never have something like that. At this point, we see a mirrored image of Alan's computer desktop on the screen. It's what many of our desktops look like, chalk full of icons, strewn across the window, a bit chaotic, not organized. And while Alan's talking, a literal desk is brought out onto the stage, the analog desktop, so to speak, and on top of it is a lot of stuff. If you follow my simple rule, save it to your desktop, you're not only going to have an awesome desktop,

you're actually going to have a wicked, awesome life. Now check this out. This is cool. The desktop is a little like my desk's top, surface, right? So I have file folders on the computer, and guess what? I got them here, too. What kind of things can you save to your desktop? Anything.

You can have photos, emails, PDFs, those are like packets. You could have movies, video games, key codes, MP3s, zip disks. These are all useful things that you can save to your desktop. So it's sort of an organizational technique. So I'll give you an example. Let's say your dad emails you some picks of the lawn.

All you have to do is, okay, yeah, you got to just save them to the desktop. Just save those right to the desktop. And after you do that, you're going to want to print out a copy for yourself, which you're going to place on your desk's top. So now you always know where everything is. You're not going to lose anything. I'll give you another example. I'm just going to pick a file at random.

Let's just pick a random file. random file. Okay, e-nie-min-mo, catch a tiger, buy the... Oh, it's a little embarrassing. This is actually an old poem I wrote. Egg on my face. It says, why whisper

when a yell can travel just as far? A whisper yelled is a whisper heard. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. So where did I save that? Let's see. Where did I save that? it looks like I put that

okay that's C5 that's the bottom right corner of my desk so it should be here oh boom here it is wow you can clap for that that's cool this is amazing this is amazing

now I'm noticing there's a couple eagle-eyed viewers in the audience and they're looking at my computer and they're going something's up something's up you're going Alan where the heck is your toolbar or doc. Some people call it doc. I call it a toolbar. Where's your toolbar? Well, guess what? My computer doesn't have a toolbar. Why? I'm not addicted to my toolbar.

You think America's got an obesity problem? You think we have a fentanyl problem? Folks, we have a toolbar problem. Stop using your toolbar. There is room for everything you need right here on the desktop. This is silly. This is my girl. My ex-girlfriend actually made this for me. Here, Alan picks up a 3D paper-mache object, painted blue, a creature of some sort. And, uh, I don't know. It's silly, but I like to look at it.

It makes me happy to see this. So I, um, I keep it on my desk while I work. But, um, yeah. No. No, it's, um, it's not in the computer. yet, but literally anything can be saved to your desktop. All you have to do is rig up a camera around a bucket at 90 degrees. You're going to want to fill the bucket with black water and paint your beloved object white.

And here's what you do. It's really easy. You submerge the object in the water and fill it in yourself as you pull it up, recording its topology through time. You're going to get the topology of every axis. Axis, axi. And once you have the access data, all you have to do is bullying the axis. It's very easy. You're going to end up with an OBJ file that's super high quality.

You can render it an infinite quality of lighting conditions, and then there's only one thing left to do. Say it with me. Come on, what are we going to do? Save it to your desktop. Yes. Oh, my God, save it to your desktop. Yes.

If you do this, you will always have the things you want and need and love, and you will know exactly where to find them. You never have to be lonely again. You will be happy, and people will love you. Listen, if you don't have organizational skills and desktop skills, I'm sorry, folks. You're not going to get that job. Your data?

it's going to be leaking on the floor. People are going to be slipping. They're going to be slipping on your data. You can say bye-bye to your kids. They're going to be living on their desktops. Mark my words. In one year's time, people will literally be blah, blah, blah, blah, talking to their computers.

Whoa. In two years, people are going to be walking around with glasses so powerful. They're never going to need to come home. And in three years' time, computers will have gotten so small. They will literally fit on a piece of breakable glass. glass. Okay, thank you so much. My name is Alan Resnick.

I really hope that helps. You've been incredible. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That was Alan Resnick at TED Next 2025. If you're curious about Ted's curation, visit ted.com

slash curation guidelines. And that's it for today. Ted Talks Daily is a podcast from TED. This episode was produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Lucy Little, Emma Tobner, and Tonzika Sungmar Nivong. Additional support from Daniela Ballereseo, Christopher Faisi Bogan, Valentina Bohanini, Ban Ban-Ban-Chang, Brian Green, and Laney Lott. Learn more at podcasts.com.

I am Elise Hume. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feet. Thanks for listening.