Tell Em Steve-Dave - #301: Chocolate Clocks

Episode Date: August 28, 2016

Git 'Em reveals how married life is treating him, Walt is first disgusted, then impressed by Sweden. Music: Jay Mac Attack - A Dogs Life

Who's this thing? Who's more delusional? Who's more insane? Why are people respected by title? So I got a shoe- Natsu and a whole baby account Christ almighty like even fucking graduate high school at this table Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave. It's been a bit of a layoff here. We had an episode 300 last time and we didn't record last week. I don't think we recorded the week before 300 either. So it's been a while since we've been sitting around this table and people have been asking one question while

What happened to miss Gidham And we have quite a get tonight Because this fucking asshole This dickhead who thinks he's so fucking hot We barely were able to secure him to give us a follow-up. I'm not even kidding you should see this jerk off dismissing me at the counter as I'm like hey. It's lots it's luster right? Oh yeah tell him see baby doesn't mean anything to him anymore. So the sea he stepped on the stepping stone and he's moved on it to the next thing as he vaulted off it. Wow. Yeah, but probably, probably, Wow, why? Pride was practically begging you to stick around, right?

Yeah. And you're like, if you give me 24 hour notice, Brian, maybe. You didn't say it. Yes, he did. You know, if you give me 24 hour notice, I don't need 24 hour notice. The fuck are you talking about? It's insane, right? That this fucking schmuck

So who is under the employ of Walt and are you hourly or salary hourly? Because of a salary he can keep you girl night. I mean I gotta be honest the our relationship has taking a turn for the worst I believe Tell me first get them hearing No, I don't think so. I think he's well aware Q What is your feelings? Has the relationship turned toxic when I'm intentionally throwing out things that he has written do not throw out just because I'm so mad at him? Wait, is my toxic in the end hysterical? That's what I've been forced to do.

He's annoying me so much that I'm like, I see a piece of paper here, I don't throw out and I intentionally put it on top of the garbage so he knows I threw it out. You don't even bury it So he's like looking around you're like it's right there And there's nothing you can do about it. You can have the garbage. Yeah, take it out the garbage you want to see it. I didn't realize he'd do it until today Yeah, because I left a decoy and it's spot today, right? Yeah, because I left a decoy and it's spot. So he thought his plan would succeed. It's almost for a talking game of cat and mouse I've ever heard of. Like this guy's writing notes that will ensure that whatever it is will be thrown away. thrown away. You feel the relationship has taken a toxic turn?

It's starting to. Let's be honest. It's growing pains, I would say. Yeah. Growing into what? Just trying to mesh personalities. Yeah, but it's not his job to mesh with you. Like, he is seniority and he's your boss.

It's your job to mesh with him. And he is seniority and he's your boss. It's your job to mesh with him. And that's what I'm trying to learn. And it's the way I see it. It's hard. Why is this so hard? When I'm throwing shit out, I don't need you rolling your eyes and going, oh, why are you throwing that out?

Oh, come on, don't throw that out. Oh, well, that's perfectly good. Piece of plastic that we can use somehow some way. Oh, because he's a hoarder. That's the problem. He's trying to hoard shit here. Yeah. I mean, it's a bizarre, like, emotional, like, rollercoaster here on as I'm throwing garbage

out that not that doesn't need to be saved behind the counter. Like, he has an emotional attachment to that piece of plastic that you can never possibly understand. Well, no, really, a piece of plastic. We can use it to wrap a comic book in a large size comic book or something, which we do, which we have done. Okay so what about a photograph that has been sitting behind the counter for over a year that is a that is two Mike that Mike has left here it's all dented up and I throw it out and you're like touch Mike's don't throw that out. I reduced it to your

it looked like you got glassy eyes I was throwing things out over the weekend that Yeah, you look like you got Glacii. I was throwing things out over the weekend. That's why I did a little, I was like, I'm throwing your shit out now. Just the show weekend. I try to have, maybe it's like, it's where the computer sets the top shelf. So it's maybe a foot deep by a foot and a half wide.

And that's just where I like to put the stuff like my camera and- You threw your camera away? No, it's just the camera away. Like my camera, the battery charger for the batteries for the camera, the instruction manual for the battery charger for the camera. And it's just that's the little spot. You can say camera supplies. Well, okay, camera supplies.

Why do you have to keep an instruction booklet for camera charger on a counter? It's a battery charger. So just so I know like what kind of batteries it could take and what kind of batteries it can't take. So they it lives perpetually up there or just when you use it? It's there in case I'm like, oh, can I try to just... Where you'll wall it? Or I mean the irony of him needing an instruction manual for photographic shit when he claims to have a photographic memory is not lost on me. I never read that out though. Why are you bringing me, why are you even bringing up to the...

I'm just saying and then I would just... Did I ever once put my hands on that instruction manual in this? No because I didn't have a note that I do not throw away on it. And you thought I was going to throw it out? Yeah. Did I throw it out? No, you talked it under the computer note that said do not throw away on it. And you thought I was going to throw it out? Yeah. Did I throw it out? No, you talked it under the computer, so now I know where it is.

Oh, yeah, but even that was a problem, though. Well, that doesn't belong under there. As if now you're telling me where shit belongs. What are you laughing about? Because he has that nervous laugh where he's constantly... Right? Yes. Can you get unemployment?

Yeah, from this place. Is that possible? I want to cut to like two, three weeks when wall-tech thrown his driver's license away. But, again, that's also where I keep stuff that people have me put aside for them. Like, you know, some reserve it. They're not really reserve it. That's all interesting, but what? What is it that made you so mad that you're like, I'm gonna start throwing this shit away?

Was it just the notes? Because you kept rolling his eyes every time I threw something out. Is it like I was throwing out like treasure? Yeah, because it's, the stuff I've been sitting there for a couple weeks now, so I was used to where it was, and it's all started with I'm throwing out garbage

I'm throwing out rook stickers and it's getting him up. I don't care about the rook stickers. He's trying to play a cool I'm throwing out literally garbage that says there's no need for it has no it helps us in no way and you're rolling your eyes and doing the and you're rolling your eyes and doing the... Oh, I guess it was. I guess it was. You're not a passive aggressive type stuff. Staring at me and getting in his face is getting redder. Redder? Well, no, it's all started with I have a card reader for the...

It's a camera supply. It's a card reader for the iFi card. And that disappeared. So he threw your card right away? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're throwing away garbage. Why don't you just throw away garbage? This shit that you think is so important, why don't you just take it, bring it to your house, like take Mike's pictures, all that stuff that you think matters.

It's the easiest truck. I would be, there's no room is what you're saying. I mean, literally, I mean, it's a hoarder on wheels. I've seen garbage trucks with, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, I mean, it's a horror on wheels. I've seen garbage, trust me. I don't know, Billy's a movement at the town. Like, does this shit, I don't know. Does your living space look like that? Yeah.

Did you ever wonder that maybe you need an intervention? No, I guess I'm not as bad as. The people you used to always see on shows like quarters, they're like level four and level five. I'm not that high level one. Level one or two. I have about minor goat trails. They call them with the with the potential to become a level three four. No, that's I could that's like people who

like go to the bathroom buckets. There's demos throughout their house. Yeah, that's they keep old food. They keep old food. This is not like the jokers. Like you see the faces behind They keep old food. This is not like the Joker's, like you see the faces behind you. I'm not really kept cussing. I'll see you later. So you would never see yourself reduced to doing number one or two in a bucket, no. Unless like maybe like because everyone else can see you do so. So you might as well join the club. Like maybe after like something like

Hurricane Sandy when we didn't have power or water for. Everybody would be there. Yeah. But you never you like it. And at that point in time I would go to the bathroom and just pour a bucket into the toilet might have flushed like that. All right. I understand how the process works. I'm just saying but if you could you ever see yourself getting to a point where you're like, I need to save this too? No, no, no, not the Howard E.S. level. Charlie, yellow George.

I'm going to save this too. Yeah, is it making a little bumpier, but then it's smoothed out. It's bumpy on the weekend, smoothed out during the week. We did have a, I did have a, yeah. I don't know. I could explain that to you later, because you didn't hear the one-sided conversation I was hearing.

Oh, is he talking about for taboo topics? No. No, this guy called up and he's like, I want this one issue, this comic. It's volume one and it's really expensive and I don't want to spend a lot of money. But he was also on like, it sounded like he was in a convertible with a hands-free. So like it was tough to hear him

and then like you get that wind crack noise. And he's like, I really, he goes, can I find it reprint it? So Walt told me where to find it reprinted. I looked it up and I've found it was for $65 and he goes, it's like, oh my god, can't you tell us fucking with a little more brevity? Who gives a fuck about the finer details? But that's the, it's the part, it's the it's the part of it. He was like I'm he's like I really don't want to spend a lot of money And Walt said it was a hundred dollars. I found it for 65. He starts in the beginning Maybe you know the stand the first one Well, let me answer your question if I can cut this off I love to get a we may need a little counseling you feel that once you put aside the accumulated trash and the weird, you know

Picket Delos that he has Does he care about the job is he devoted to? Doing doing the right thing like is he is he into the job as you hopelessly devoted to you or is he coming here and and just like is it just work? Oh wow hopelessly devoted to you. Or is he coming here and just like, is it just work? Oh, wow. I think I would have to think he's devoted at this point. Yeah, I think I think my wife, like I went home and I kind of like, I had to talk it out because I was just, I was getting frustrated.

And, you know, she told me she was like, you took him on now, and you knew the issues that came with him. As if he's like a retarded puppy. And she was like, you have to accept... I was gonna walk him. You have to accept him for who he is and in utilize the things that he does well and the things he doesn't do well.

He doesn't put him in a position where he's doing things that he doesn't do well. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. And then I walked away. I was like, what does he does well? I still don't know what to do. In all fairness, get him. I guarantee he's had the same discussion with his wife about me Is it it's honey up swing this week

Is there a celebrity draw to having get him here? The people come in excited to see him or is that answer? What would you say? We've had one or two people a couple times. People have been excited to see him. Mostly because they think I'm Kevin or somebody else. OK. People have come in.

They recognize the voice from the podcast. Like what is Kevin's shitting in that pink hand? LAUGHTER Oh, where's a cowboy hat? He gives it a little bit of flair, he's got a cowboy hat up there. When he's playful, I really love having him around, but when he's in this like a little bitchy mood, I can really, it's really tough to deal with. He talks his fucking shirt in so tight. I notice it every day, I'm like, what kind of person? That was just...

Now it's not because I have to tell him every day. I'm like, untuck your shirt. He talks it in so tightly that his gun hangs over it and shit, and I'm like, it's unsightly, bro. And plus, who talks their shirt in, nobody. Why do you tuck it in? Is it like an OCD thing? It's always the, it's what I was at the track. We had a Tucker uniforms in and we're both so that's just

All right, we're in the question now the sense come out. Do you ever wish that like, you know, did you make the gyrosite? Don't I make the right decision cut leaving the track? Yeah, but I don't I know I made the right decision. Okay. Good. All right, so that's that's good. Cure you're working miracles over here Questions they're giving the answers That's good. Cute. You're working miracles over here. One of the judges has some questions, man. They're giving the answers. They're asking the right questions. So all men, she's the therapy really helped. We work it out.

We don't give up. That's one thing we'll never do. We'll never give up. It's about listening to what your partner wants. So initially I started this conversation regarding a totally separate couple. Mrs. Gittum and people want to know like how is how is the relationship progressing? How once the the mics went dark and you guys wrote off in your fucking ship mobile filled with fucking plastic and Mike's photos.

Yeah, what is all that stuff in your truck? Like, why do you have all that stuff? Well, when I was working at the track, it was pretty much you had a... When you're going out to a post, we don't have lockers, right? So, what you had to take out to work, you took with you. So, you need, you need, like, jugs. Like, 50 empty mountain-dew cans, like that kind of. Well, it's the back of the truck.

It's not the front of the truck. It just bottles that I haven't burned for 50 years. mountain-do cans like that kind of. Well, it's the back of the truck. It's the front of the truck. It just bottles that I haven't been buried for years. It's mostly coffee cups in the back of the truck. You need all those clothes that you keep in the truck? Yeah, I try to keep it like at least two changes of clothes in my truck just in case.

But the truck? The case of what? Open. No, I'm talking about the front of the truck. There's no clothes in the truck. The cab with the truck. The truck is closing the bed. There's just, I mean, it's an imprint where his body sits.

Right. Well, you could just see the outline of where a body sits or allowing all this stuff. Like when they peel someone away from a couch, she's sitting on it for like, fucking 15 years. I've been the guy doing the peeling. No, I know it. Wow.

So that's the question, get them. Do you talk to her? Mrs. Gim? Not really, no. Not really no? Or no, no, you Do you talk to her? Mrs. Gidham? Not really, no. Not really no, or no, no, you do not talk to her. No, no, no. Have you tried to contact her and she won't return your calls? No, I didn't try to contact her during the after the wedding

and before it was revealed because I didn't want like, you know, to give anything away. But how is talking to her, sure, who he knows? But other people like, you know, through social media or something like that. So you thought, I make plenty of phone calls that don't reach social media. I talked to my mom for like 40 minutes today.

Nobody reported it. No, no, I read about on TOT. I just don't. Yeah. Harvey, let him broken to five years. Okay, so you blew it. Is what you saying? No, why would you say that?

You marry her on the, you don't call her for three weeks? This is a dust, is responsibility to call? She hasn't called me. Yeah, I was gonna say, I was waiting for the response in. The phone works both ways. This is responsibility to call, it's the man, he's got a call. That's kind of antiquated. Sure, but as we've discussed before,

I like the antiquated. Sure, but as we've discussed before, I like the antiquated system of... Let's just get it straight. It's antiquated, guys. It's a polpia Christ almighty. I mean, like, if we were to pull an intervention on your Hortum. Hortum? What if Mrs. Gatum, would she have to be there to make an impact? Uh, actually usually the less people there, the better. She'd probably be there to be carried out.

He's like, oh, I wonder if she wasn't taken up. She was buried under a bunch of fucking Mike's photos. Oh, you're somewhere in the wedding ring? Yes. So do you the wedding ring. Yes. So do you consider yourself married? Yes. Salper for the ceremony, everything, you know, it's all on the up and up. I would like to imagine what it hasn't been consummated in any way, shape, or form.

No. Not even with a phone call. Have you jerked off to? At least. Look how ready he's getting. So how long will you go with this ruse that you're married? Because this is like you're going out right? What's that? I mean, I mean, in his mind, he's married and he's happy isn't that all that matters?

Oh, really? You tell people like I've got a wife, I'm a happily married man, like you go down to the barn, you're eating wings and shit. I've been down to the bar since that now. I mean, if it works, who are you to look down upon the way that their marriage is? Hey, man, you're right. I'm nobody. A lot of couples, you know, they can't make it work. These two have fucking figured out a way to be happy. Never be a converse. We're denying each other's existence. Much of the same way that me and Samantha Fox are making our relationship work. We'd ever get to fight you as a draw my stuff. Also me and Jenna Jameson.

All these relationships are working out great. But that was the big thing. He has a standing dinner plant every single night. Right. With the same person? Yes. With this woman in her 50s. Yes.

And you still have yet to make any sort of shenanigans with her? Again, we are friends. I try to explain this the other day to somebody aged I for some reason some people Can't change I mean that's that's why I'm asking for an update wasn't this covered in win Harry met Conchisha She should change. She should change. She should change. She should change. She should change.

We learn this and when Harry met Sally, like a guy in a girl, they can never truly be friends. The guy's always thinking something. Never once thought anything like, no, I'd like to cheat on him as a kid with you. You don't think it's true, you don't think it's possible for you're really, really going to sit there and say, you know, a man and woman really can't be friends? No, I'm totally friends with Stacy. Right Stacy?

I don't want to do anything else to do. Because he was telling somebody that they were just friends and they weren't having any of it. They weren't buying it and I totally believe get him when he says that it's he It's like we'll be going out to dinner with Q every night right? It'd be the same exact experience. Well, I think the I think it's not really about her as much as like they take one look at Get him and they're like he's just like like bursting with testosterone There's no way yeah This other person did preface by saying son. You're both completely drunk. What about

Wow, get them so okay, all right. You're operating as a married man So if the opportunity came to hook up with someone Say a cousin of Kevin Smith for instance, right. Let's let's just say she was in the wings. Yeah You would not you would not wings yeah you would not you would not take it you would not take that because you're mad yes would not take sorry cuz there's none for you that is an honorable man right there as much as we give he's so full of shit look how pretty she is he's a liar he's a liar very safe for him to say no to that it It's very safe. She's been fucking fiddling with pepper spray the entire time, looking at him, just waiting.

She gave him a preemptive spray just to get him the tear up a little. For as much as we ride Gidham's Tale, bro, and give him a hard time. You got to give it up. I mean, that is, that's so sweet. It is, but it would be better if it was coupled with, you know, attempting to woo his bride or make his girlfriend contact you. I think that you again, you've got them in this box. You're just like the rest of society. You put them in this box and you expect them to behave the way you want them to behave is that just letting them be happy let them work it out and let them find each other you don't remember how long it takes you know they'll it'll

it's working as it is right now and they're both are happy the final piece of the puzzle always fits no matter how long you wait I say thank you all right but what if she's not holding herself to you. But what if she's not holding herself to the same standard? What if she's out there, corrousing about town? Yeah, she's like, if he's not going to call. Yeah, that would kind of hurt. Don't even let them plant, don't even let them plant that nasty seed in that brain. Oh, somebody's planting nasty seeds right here, bride I guarantee you

Should have been cuckold is there a way for her to contact you if she wants to if she listens to this tonight Well, why don't you just call right now? There's a number phone number. Don't have you watch. So she have yours? Not that I know of. Can't she contact me on Twitter? This episode, can't she contact you on Twitter? Twitter, Reddit, almost any form, Reddit. Yeah.

Can't even reach it. You can send messages on Reddit. That private message is cool. Yeah, I know. It's going to get lost in all the fucking hate messages. Yeah, why would you go to Reddit? Well, you can, I'm just saying it's one of the many ways to get it. Can you say send a private message on it?

Yeah, give you. Yeah. So you follow her on Twitter. And did she follow you? I don't know if she follows me on Twitter. Well, look, well, I can't. He doesn't even know where Twitter is. Yeah.

He knows nothing about her. What's her name? Do you know it? You don't say it on air, but do you know it? He does. It's a cue. I gotta say, yeah, this is a match made in heaven. Well, you're right. This is the wave of the future for marriages in America today. What is it? Exactly.

You get married and then you just go and you don't see each other. You get married long, long, long stretches. You get married in a sham ceremony by an impractical joker and never see each other ever again. Please don't impute in south. South said something. I got to bring it up. I rarely bring up impractical jokers on the show, but I was watching an episode the other day and I saw something that may be the funniest thing I've ever seen

on the show. And it was Joe and I can't remember if it was you or Merr, but you're at a supermarket and you're hiding and you get another person to hide with you. I don't think you were hiding with them. It's this lady, she comes in. Oh no, this is the pet store. Was it a pet store? I don't know.

But there's like these sliding doors and the next person to come in, they want them to jump out and surprise. Surprise. Yeah, it's a pet store? I don't know, but there's like these sliding doors and the next person to come in they want them to jump out and surprise surprise. Yeah, it's a pet store in Long Island. And it took a really long time for some of the come in and the lady like you can see the excitement at first. Is it really a slow way? It's slowly drains until you can see she's like, I'm gonna I guess I'm gonna walk away and then all of a sudden, so I'll tell the Joe to say, you're a disgrace to your family. Dude, I was crying. It was the perfect storm of fucking meanness and I texted him. I was like, it's scientifically quantifiable as the funniest thing you could possibly say in that moment.

I didn't get Joe. He said it. He said half of it. And then he said the other half, because he was laughing at the time. I was like, it's so, I can't imagine what's going through the woman's head. She was like, first she's like, yeah, man, man, I'm totally in. And then the energy drains and then someone says one of the most insulting things I could possibly say.

Did they fucking cry and wear a guy walked in the store and with a guy walked in the store and I said, uh, stop bringing me birds to put down. Did that make the episode? Yeah, I think it did. Did it work because in person it was fucking funny, man. We were dying laughing. Yeah, I did. I thought it worked.

All right. All right. Cool. All right. Good. That was a good bit. So get on that set, huh? I know.

What time of your dinner plans now? Um, it sounds like it out of here. Yeah. Yeah. How does she feel when you show up late? Like does she take your, your friend? It sounds like an hour here. Yeah. How does she feel when you show up late? Does she take your friend? Does she take your celebrity status into account? No, she does. Usually I call if I'm not going to show up.

But if... Usually you call if you're not going to show up. But if I'm late, I don't call. So she just waiting around for me to show up. But usually you call if you don't show up. So you don't call every time. Like sometimes you just don't show up to dinner. Now you know what I have to say?

I do call every time I don't show up. Okay. It's very mannerly of you getting on. Is she a hoarder to this lady? No. A complete opposite. Yeah. Very, very Spartan.

How would your wife feel that? You're dining out with the same woman at night after night? Um, well, quote, quote, brand. I've been doing it for years. So it's, you know, it's not like it's something new. Right. Yeah. It's this friend of yours. She's alive, right? Yes. Okay. You never know with getting. Yeah. Alright, good. She's a lot of the other day when my tire blew out. She came picked me off and give her a picture of this one. Come on.

And why are there no why is there no love connection? You think you're too good looking for? No, she keeps horses with us over the winter and I don't mix business and pleasure. So, but you work on a wall and you need your friend? Yeah, I don't. I'm not going to get intimate with walls. What friends? Is it a pleasure though? Yeah, and it is intimate. Yeah. Just gives you an abstract feeling. You now spend more time at Walt than you spend with any other person on the planet.

That's not what you're spending time at. That's not intimate work. We're texting into the wee hours of the night. Yeah. Like, what are you texting about? You have a haunted looking right now. Please. OK.

All right. Is that dog? Yes, it her dog. What happened to her in life that she's having? Are you asking? Are you asking is that her or a dog? Okay, it's a very good looking dog. Let me take a look at this. That is a sharp looking dog. How'd you become friends with this lady? She's worship the track. She's an outwriter. What happened to her? We mean that she's having dinner with you every track. She's an outwriter. What happened to her? We mean? That she's having

dinner with you every night. It's just you know like what's going on in her life? It's just you know it's just the way we do things. It's just you know what happened. It's how we do it. Oh no never been married. Oh very good. All right. I'll show you one more picture of it. It's all right. Nobody cares. get him. Alright. I'm sure you'll want more picture of. Sorry. Nobody cares. It is good to see you though. Good see you too. We've developed a game. No, me and get them. No, we're going to. No, no, no, you can't stay for it. We don't have the time, but it's going to be a good. I think you we mean get them have it after we debut it.

We have a meeting with a producer really yes Talking about it. It's it's going to it's called don't throw this away Could be picked up by me. It's really I'm really excited about it But we're not gonna play it this week is it with the he doesn't have the time okay? All right, but maybe around next week the boy. guess. Oh, yes, only for give 24 hour notice We can Just to be clear if if Kevin's cousin here wanted to go on a day with you you'd say no Yes, sorry cubs cousin. I know it's embarrassing to take this

You know, you've got your standing dinner day and there's nothing that can be done about it. Plus you wouldn't have fit in this truck with all the fucking shit that's in it. I did that to typewriter out two nights ago. Yeah, how do you feel about sitting on a typewriter? Driving to a third grade chain restaurant. All right, get him good for you. Me tomorrow, get him. Good night.

The most happily married man in America. Right there. There he goes. Thank you again Frank 5 for my sign picture of Dakota Fanny. You know that's an actual sign for photo, do you? I've from... yeah, he said email there. Jarring. Frank 5 is like, hey, email Dakota Fanny. And he's like, oh, cool.

Well, there's no questions to ask. He said, I'm like, Tim. How the fuck would he have her email address? You don't even have your wife's email address or phone number. He said, I'm like, Tim Conley, she responds. So, I guess maybe he found an email address? Sure. Okay. It's her signature. Okay, it's our signature.

Okay, buddy. Cool. Very good. See you tomorrow. That's it. That's where he's getting dire. You didn't even wait until he was out of your shop. Just getting worse. I don't work and he would be good for him. And what has it good for him. What what has a bad firm? He's I don't know. He's just everything he said on this episode is crazy

Disconnected and weird not at all He's under a good smell. He wouldn't he considers himself married He wouldn't you oh you're telling me you think that he wouldn't though all those things he wouldn't consider if he wasn't here Telling me you think that he wouldn't throw all those things, he wouldn't consider if he wasn't here? Well, we brought that into his life, so I don't know, but that's nuts. That's nuts. That was a nuts, though. I mean, you really expect him to not treat it with respect to that marriage demand? But it's a way out of whack. Well, he's not calling her or contacting or talking to her. And vice versa Like that I say that's more important than staying like true. The man has demand has principles and rules that he lives by and he's got a code lack of options and they don't and if they conflict with again About how you feel is crazy

Quotes crazy. I don't know. I mean, I admired that in a person. That's like yeah, I don't know i mean i admired that in a in a in a person that's like yeah i don't care what what i mean i'm i'm married and i'm happy you're gonna take a page out of his book and not speak to the book for the next three weeks or let her know where i am i'm not saying it would work for everybody right if obviously it's working for him i mean i mean it works for me too, right? Alright, wow. Nobody's called the Colonel yet on this show. I want to talk about how come

like you guys aren't respecting my decision to be called Colonel for now on. I forgot about it, but I'll try to, I'll set a reminder. Where are some of the things a colonel is able to do? If you're dubbed a colonel, what kind of things can you do? Can you like, can you send a, can you declare war? If you're in Turkey or something? No, basically I am an aid, it's a lifelong position, Walt, lifelong.

I'm an aid to the governor's office, if they need help with something, I gotta rush in there and help. So far, they have a call. What governor? Any governor in the union? Well, the governor of Kentucky is in charge of the... So you think you're recognized by the governor of New Jersey recognizes Brian Quinn as...

What is he? A Duke? Honorable Colonel. Honorable Colonel. Yeah. so I should be yeah. So who's the Colonel of New York or an Andrew Cuomo? No, governor. Governor. Governor. I'm sorry, I'm a governor. Colonel Sanders, you know why he's called Colonel? Because he fought in the Confederate war. No, because he was bestowed the same honor that I was. Oh, he's a he's a he's a good one. He's a good one. He was a sham. But he was bestowed the same honor that I was oh he's a he's a Shambah Who is to say who's more delusional who's more insane?

He's like why are people respected by title I was I believed in him I was bestowed a title Yeah, but I feel like that's not being given the respect it deserves. Like, that's not easy. Not just anybody can become the fucking colonel. Isn't it like getting a doctorate when you had, when you like, when you didn't finish high school just because you're on like a T-not ordinary doctor? Yeah. You're not really able to go into a surgeon's

into the surgery and perform surgery, are you? No, but that's what, that's what, but you can still call him doctor. I mean, come on. So all you wanted, someone to prefer to you as a Duke. What's it Duke? I think it's easier just read the column. Do you do? Do you do? Yeah, I mean my my official title is my official thing is honorary Brian Quinn the honorary Brian Quinn Uh, Colonel in the Kentucky Colonel some a Colonel so Colonel Brian Quinn the honorary Brian Quinn Colonel in the Kentucky Colonel some

Colonel some Colonel Brian Quinn I don't think it's too much for us how in daily life how many other people are have have taken to calling you it's extremely rare I don't think it's pretty infrequent catching it on like I wanted but why the fuck does Colonel Sanders get to be clever to call him Colonel Sanders? It took a while. Yeah, it's not like it was three weeks and everyone was like holy shit Colonel Sanders. He's a household name. He gave him also. He gave America the gift of Kentucky fried chicken.

You haven't given us shit. If we give one to the greatest fast food joints on the planet, unless you're a chicken, it's one of the worst. I delivered the magic of yucks and laughter. And you're telling me that that's not worth. Yeah, but he's been at it a lot longer. I mean, if you guys are if you guys are performing into your 90s, like the kernel from KFC did. no, but he wasn't he he He was a Colonel after he started the restaurant right does him saying everything's a common Colonel Let's let's learn a little bit about Colonel Sanders boys my brethren my fellow Colonel you're contemporary Isn't it enough to be the second most famous Colonel in the world?

Well, I don't even think I am. Fred Astaire was a Colonel. Um, there's a lot of famous kernels. I don't know. I don't think I'm going to talk. Who's Fred Astaire? I know. I know. I know.

I know. He was a fan. Not to mention real kernels in the military. Okay. So Colonel Sanders. I mean, I remember Colonel Kling. Oh, so you're right. Right now you're down to four right, right away. This Colonel Kling is probably. We kept talking talking it would be not even in the top 10. Easily. I wouldn't even be in the top 100. I'm just saying,

doesn't matter. I have the title. I don't think it's the last day. Well, if you I've sent an email, the true TV to see if next season, they could change my credit to Colonel, I'm not even kidding, to Colonel Brian. Why don't you just get your, your name legally changed, that way they would have to do it. Now you're fucking talking. Right.

They would have no choice. That's pretty good. Right. Yeah, I like that. So he says on my driver's license, and then the cop when he stops, he used to be like, all right, a kernel right away. And like, finally,

all right. In fact, not only am I president of four color demons, but I'm also the colonel of the four color demons. I've just totally not very. I just was stolen myself. That's titled. I can do that. I can make four color demon colonels if I want. But I'm not going to.

Can you make me one? I can if you have everybody such show me the respect I deserve. So only if, it's only a buy a buy by your stringent rule to if we call you a colonel. Yeah, then you can, and I can become a colonel. Yes, right. How often do we even call them by name?

Like you would say, Q, I bet you if I looked in your phone, it would not say colonel. And that's what I find very disappointing. It doesn't, you know why you're, you know why you're no Colonel Sanders? Because Colonel Sanders once wounded a business rival in a deadly shootout. So that would be like a shootout of me taking down like Johnny Knoxville.

We're shooting him. You're just a soldier of a cursus tree. You line line up you took shot him right in the shoulder. I would love to see that headline. I alluded on a rary kernel wounds America. America would like a musket like a powder musk. Sanders served in the military. Yeah, but that's not why they call them kernel though. But these are all things though that was why why he was elevated to the world's most famous Colonel though.

I'm not saying I should be more famous than him. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying I should be that way. But I'm just saying you need to, you need to give us some time, you need to relax and let your, and let your legend grow a little bit before you're demanding same spaces,

Mr. Sanders. I am. Yeah. All right, there you go. Oh, thank you. See, now I'm in the Phones Colonel Barron coin. Well, you might have this in common with the Colonel Sanders. He swore like a sailor. Okay, I got that. You do that. Sure. You think you do it like a sailor though? At times. You get a couple of drinks of me and I think it's, it's I'm fucking all like not like not like one of those sailors like those weekend sailors like rich

Yuppie guys with like their dockside or so I would like a rich upie guy deal. Oh, all right But let's see this the looks Colonel Sanders boasted I would cuss before women and children and I didn't care Oh, what'd you do that would you be that course? I just I just said fuck in front of Stacy in front of Emily I know there's no children. Well, I'm talking about real like, I'm talking like stuff that might get you arrested back in the 70s for, you know, like, you know, who's that guy? Who is that comedian that you always use? Lenny Bruce? Oh, like Lenny Bruce, like, you got it. I'm talking about stuff that would be like so

explicit in course. I like you walked up, you walk up to a six-year-old girl and you're like, what's up? Come face. Like. Then you got some crap. Then you're up there with Colonel Sam. So I got a shoe-county nacho. And a whole of baby account. These are the two things that I need to do.

You got some credit around here. I'll go to the colonel if you do both those things. That episode of Always Sunny with Psycho Pete came back and they're like the one example that we used to do was use the screaming babies faces. That's so awesome. They're like we now. Screamed babies face. All right. Well, I have nothing against Johnny

Knoxville. I gotta do what I gotta do. I guess. I mean, could you could can he shoot Dane Dane Cook instead, please? Why is Dane Cook even around? Of course. What's he doing that goes way? I don't know. Do you want to know what Dane Cook's up to?

Well, you said. Well, why, why did you say shoot him? There's gotta be more annoying people than Dane Cook. He's not even like, well, he said what we're saying, who's less funny than him, that's still around right now. Well, I meant in terms of, you know, in terms of what like Johnny Knoxville is in exactly like hot right now. But he had a he didn't have a hidden reality show too. Well, he did Jackass, which we get compared to a lot, but it's also way, way more popular than

Asha was. No, not any more. Jacket, not any more maybe, but in terms of the guys. You guys have you guys have a clip. Well, we're more relevant now Yeah, but that show will never be as popular as that show was you know Why do you guys you guys don't resort to like? Call them baby don't genital mutilation that and like a lot of like as Jack I just went on there was a lot of like gay stuff like I got gay or in gayers We have sound I'm not talking about real gay people

two days from now when people start saying on Twitter he's like would you guys say I thought I would like to hear your thoughts on this because it's it's something I thought would very resonate with you did you hear about this soccer player? I saw were you talking to me? Yeah, I really want to hear your thoughts on this because you didn't address him as Colonel so I wanted to get your thoughts on this soccer player, this female soccer player who got suspended for six months for a calling and opposing team cowards. Six months? Six months, her name is Solo. And she was an Olympic...

I'm sorry, yeah. Of course, she's famous. Hope Solo. Yeah, hope Solo. Yeah. That's a cool name. That is an awesome name. Right. I mean, that's got of a Star Wars.

Yeah. Like the new Hope Solo. It had to be... The parents had to be Star Wars fans. She's very good looking too. So I'm surprised they'd knocked her out. Well, she... Well, they look... I guess America lost the gold medal. They didn't get gold. And I guess she was so frustrated

in the... So they suspended it for the six months that she's not playing anyway? Well, no, she... No, United States Federation of Soccer suspended her for six months. She can't play in anything for six months because of that comment. Could you go people coward? I think we wasn't reading a team of cowards. Wasn't it a build up though? I thought she had done other things and that this was like the icing on the cake table situation. Well, you can't do that though.

You just can't take a build up of things and be like, well, you said this, you said this. This was the thing that they're pointing to as the font, as the thing that God or suspended. Right. She called them cowards. Why were they cowardly? Because they didn't play the game, I guess the way,

I guess they protected a lead or didn't they didn't attack at all So they played to they played scared she's saying so basically they had to lead so they they just well I think it was they lost in a shoot out America. I'm not sure you know watch it I thought you were a big soccer fan no no we talked about I haven't I haven't had a chance the kernel has a lot of chance to I was out of the country because I was gone when you offered me listen I haven't I haven't had a chance the kernel has a lot of chance to I don't think that she should have been sitting there six months broad issues coming right here Yeah, let's go a little bit of broad issues I think it's a problem for our issues. Yeah, kernels for our issues here we go

Cardle cues broad issues Colonel Q's broad issues. Smack and Yass of investigative journalism. Pound in the pavement, hitting the streets, hitting them hard, is only the Colonel can. I think so. Why was with these women playing soccer anyway? Why are they not preparing my batter in the kitchen? Muff! 11 herbs and spices!

Yeah! I'm not gonna name them, they're gonna save somewhere. Did you hear what happened? Was it? Somebody fucking accidentally released the Cigaressi, it's no longer a secret. Do you think it was an action? Yeah! Wait, hold on.

In the stupidest way possible. It got released. A guy was giving an interview. A family member was giving an interview and showed a scrapbook to the reporter and the reporter took a picture and in it was, look at that, the list of the secret recipe for KFCs and they put it on Twitter. Those guys like, hi, I'm the biggest jerk off on earth. He blew the family secret. Oh, man. And they made it, they cooked it using that and they said it's exactly like KFCs.

The main ingredient is white pepper, it says, well, yeah, but there's just because you had the ingredients, doesn't mean that you can actually whip it up though and have it taste like it. They whip it up and it tastes like KFC. Yeah it's out. Hmm once it's that cat's out of the bag right you can't put that gene back in the bottle. How badly did their stock tumble now that everyone's gonna be making their own KFC. A kernel cube can open up his own chicken shack now. Yeah now that you know the recipe repeating kernels do I get sued if I open a chicken shack hold the carnal cues chicken jack definitely not no I don't think it's called

kfc it's it's not even as nothing I mean why do you think they hold on to the kernel is he beloved he's a iconic so he's not a McDonald yeah but in this day of you know political correctness and all this shit he's an iconic symbol. He's Ronald McDonald. Yeah, but in this day of, you know, political correctness and all this shit, he's a Southern gentleman, you know, associated normally with not nice things. Yeah, but he was never, he was never so. He was a, he was a, he was a friend to all children.

I would see pictures of him, I got a KFC, he was, there's posters of him like, like, in a field and there's all children at his feet. And he's like, Oh, they were one of children, his feet. Pick one condom. Oh, wow. They were one children. No, I speeden them chicken. He was feeding them chicken.

Well, but he was just, was he cursing at them at the time? Because he's just a poster. He can't tell what he was saying. Oh, OK. But when I go back to this hope soliloquil, yeah, six months. I feel well, the thing that I like that hockey gets right is I think there's got to be a little bit more spit in the eye and sports. The one the one

thing about being a Yankee fan that I always felt kind of like Rob Dove was Yankees are always been held to like a higher level of behavior within their organization. They're not allowed to curse and not allowed to like they're always like that. That's clean, shaving hair at a certain length. Exactly. You represent the pinstrives, so that I always like it when a sports figure has a little bit of that in them. A little recklessly.

So you're saying you don't like them, the hope so they're going out and saying such things. No, I think you should. Speaking trash. No, no, no. That's very unyanky like, though. That's what I'm saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no strongly believe that I think you saw American heart. I mean, what the fuck? That's that's outrageous. That's some. If a man had said that, would he have been paid of gratinous six months? Yeah, I think so. No way. Sure. In the Olympics, I think so. Really? Yeah. I think there's there's got to be some sort of weird standard going on here

that why you on earth would that be suspension worthy? It's nothing. It's nothing. I don't agree. I think I think everybody should, I guess they're saying, because I think because it's the Olympics, and because it's about world unity, and she's representing the United States, that they're in the States. She said something about the Ziki. Right?

I think at first she said she didn't want to go to the Olympics because of the Zika virus. Imagine that. Imagine an athlete just coming out. You lost. You just lost your raw. Your emotions are, they're so raw, you're angry. And you say something.

You don't even, you just say they play like carrots. Is it going back? Are we, is it kind of like, is it too politically tight? Because Sweden, you know, kind of stays neutral? I think that's Switzerland, but possibly. Oh, okay. I knew it wasn't this. The second most neutral country over there, Sweden.

So what is Sweden known for? They've been into, they've gone into war and they, who was sideward Ion? Sweden? Yeah. I don't know. Let's look up Sweden. Let's see what they're up to, the fucking cowards. We think we got any Swedish. Well, Sweden isn't at the sound of the music wasn't that

Scandinavia no that wasn't Sweden the Swedish shops right it would be the Swiss helps guys Christ almighty like You can't graduate high school up this table It goes just show you don't need to know shit to be a colonel We're working to come, folks. Hey, I know where the fucking American Alps are, you know? He's like, you know, the Adirondas. He's like, I'm the colonel of the country of Kentucky.

But the Alps are blue and the chicken's good. Thank you. Let's good. Thank you. Let's see. Still my 11 herbs and spices. Yeah. I was on my spices. Hey, you know, Hunter, as Thompson was a Colonel, a Kentucky Colonel.

Was he? Yeah. So, you know, that seems to be largely meaningless. What is Sweden? Where have they been in the in the world history of? of battles of meeting with it all That's not meaningless where you stood and some of Enduring history's time Oh, no, I was I was still talking about the Kentucky curve. Okay. Just don't want Brian to get the last word in

So I said in the light breath hoping no one to hear at the home audience. Well, this Sweden gave us the Vikings They gave us Stockholm syndrome. Okay, I'm also they gave us let's see here What do you know about Sweden? Kevin cousin anything World War one a world war two neutral Cowards knew it fucking Swedish cowards, weren't they neutral because they were like, aren't they right next to Germany?

Are they like you're like you guys fucking nuts? They'll be honest next. Yeah I don't know they have some good points Do we have a do we have any Swedish answer? Thank God I want to say anything out of turn. Yeah There's gotta be a couple. Oh, no, that, they speak English in their country. Not as a first language. But I thought the, what was on those Muppets? That's all. I can like this. The Swedish chef. Yeah. I'm a dearer. No, he's a Muppet. I am. I wasn't a real Swedish person. I'm not sure we should go by him. My only exposure to a Swedish person was the chef on the map. Represented of all sweets. It was a coward too. Fuck a chicken shit mother fucker.

I do know that it's not a shit hole country. It's very it's very liberal. It's advanced. Like is it all anything goes in Sweden right all drug use is legalized like if if they made a country out of San Francisco Would be Sweden but with a lot of tall-worn people Yeah, they're like Nordic rent. Yeah You've been Sweden Q with it as a party. I was in there a layover on one of their airports I don't really get to experience the country but they have they have IJ over there Is that one of their markets? They have their own version of IJ really yeah, they stole it from you Well, they bought it from us and they make their own version of it

Is there a version of IJ and Iceland? Yeah, I Stat I don't know I know there's like 15 different versions money Many more now. They claim that is the hardest language to learn. Because it's all like, fuck. It's like, cling on. Yeah. Which Icelandic?

Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. And most of those fuckers begin like. I thought it was Mandarin that people, all right. You want to know about some religion and Sweden today, Walt?

18% of Swedish citizens responded that they believe there is a god, 45%. How much, well, don't just gloss over that, only 18. Yeah. That's why that's why there's, they're in the state they're in. I mean, they don't seem to be in a bed. Yeah, they're talking about me and they're all fucking zombieed out, all fucking strung out.

Oh, again, I think you're thinking of a Swedish show. No of it as you just Swedish. No, I mean, it's like. Yeah, you're thinking of Amsterdam. Amsterdam. Oh, yeah, Amsterdam. That's in Denmark, isn't it? What? No, it's on check. It's in Denmark. It's totally different country. Do you see an ideal with week after week? What did I make? Did I make chocolate over there? What did I make? Or clocks, right? They're known for clocks and... Again, sweet and sweet. Sweden is known for cowards. That's it.

That's all they got going on. Played a coward in the shop. The name is in the Netherlands. James Stockham is in the Netherlands. It's the capital of the Netherlands. Is it about what's your drug laws over in Sweden right now? That's right, correct? That is right. What?

Amstance capital of the Netherlands? Somebody anybody? I don't know. OK, let me look up drug laws in Sweden. I'll see why they're all. They all look like they're on. But only 18% of the country How many people live in Sweden? What's the population?

Well, you were just asking about drug Okay, I love the stats All right, you're talking about a country that has an Estimated population of like say roughly 10 million people a little bit less. Okay, so wow, that's so many people that don't believe in God. Right. So, let me find the real world.

It's a little world-like. I know. That's why we're in a state, we're in brother. What state? Shit state. Yeah. Shit, 10 years. Brown state. It's a single-to? Shit state. Yeah, shit.

Brown state. It's a sequel to Red State. It's all about Swedes and their fucking black every speck for God. Can't read the script. What's Kevin's reaction if you give him a fuck? Brown state. 160 pages. Brown state script.

45% answered that they believe there is some sort of spirit or life force. All right, that's better. I'm that now I'm certain you feel like they're not a lost cause. Okay. 34. 30 hope for Sweden yet. Yeah, 34% answered. They do not believe there is any sort of spirit God or life

Yeah, 34% so at a 10 million you're talking 3.4 million people are like fuck it. There's nothing Yeah, we even know what they're God is though. It's the fucking needle Yeah, they are a bunch of junkies I guess let me say Well, Sweden has given us Abba right? Yeah That was an import we we adored yeah we worshiped for a little while totally forgot English from Sweden who in big mom's team yeah I don't know that is it's one of like the most influential like neoclassical like metal guitarists. Say, it's a tight-of-popular urban 85. Yeah, probably.

Yeah. It's like nine. Yeah, it's exactly six. Any other stats that would... Let's see. What's your goal in Sweden? Sweden. We're still talking about Sweden.

I'm trying to find their drug rules. So who the Swiss then? Switzerland. For fuck's sake, they make... It's like four times. They make chocolate and clocks, right? Mm-hmm. Oh, chocolate, wood and shoes.

That's Denmark again. Oh, the chocolate clock? No, the wooden shoes people, yeah. That's all they got over there. Aren't they all basically the same region though? Kind of. Chocolate clocks don't keep good time, but they taste good. Yeah. Delicious. Man. Well, let me look up. When you're feeling yummy. Swedish druglobs. What about Swedish fish?

Oh, that's a candy, right? They've got that. They've got that market fucking locked down. I can't imagine anybody listening at home right now wants to continue listening to this episode. Okay, no, they're going to want to hear this because this is the stupidest shit I've got. Let's, Walt, I think you're going to really like this. This is going to bolster your confidence in Sweden even more than their belief in spirits and life forces. cocaine ecstasy and even cannabis are rarely seen in the streets and clubs in line with Sweden's official zero tolerance approach.

The overarching goal, a society free from illegal drugs. That's their goal? Yeah. That should be America's goal. No, it should not. Well, there's another way to get that goal and make all drugs illegal. How? Yeah.

What do you mean how? Yeah, if you just make them legal, then there's no illegal drugs. I will call you Colonel Q from now on. I like your platform. That is the curtailed official platform, legalize all drugs. Yeah. Let's see. Every other suite, okay, this is 2008, a majority of the population supports the strict policy. Every other sweet said that possession or cultivation of cannabis for personal use should be punished with prison and six and ten believe that a total war on cannabis which was defined as arresting and jailing all dealers and users was the best tactic what a bunch of fucking pussholes I can't imagine ever going to

Sweden and I don't even smoke weed but my god like these are adults who should be able to like do whatever they want and the fucking Netherlands is right across the river there That's but that's the way they that's the way they want to her country to be though. Well some of them do yeah Right across the river you can do all the weed you want where it answered them Didn't son they Jeff Gutter Well, yeah, I don't I don't think he ever actually was there because he was like out American soil when he was there so technically he was Never left America Let's see the latest data shows the numbers. We should do it between 15 to 64 who had consumed cocaine during last year was almost five times smaller than the biggest consumer, Spain, Spaniards fucking cooked out. So I really got to apologize to Sweden.

I had my S countries confused. Right. You thought the Swedish was a shit hole country? I'm sure that's the first time they ever heard that. They're like, what? Seriously? Oh, I was only my S countries like Switzerland, Sweden. Oh, okay. I wasn't sure Denmark, you know, I wasn't sure where I was talking about.

Sure. I spoke off the cuff as usual and uh... It's gonna, it came back to bite you. I'd like to apologize to Sweden. It sounds like it's my kind of country. Okay, do you want to hear how, okay, you, you want to hear how strict this, the Swedes are? Yes. Boyster's eight-year-old who are as high as kites from eating sweets were hauled back to earth with a bump when police in western Sweden got wind of the wild party. And I guess they the kids were going crazy so that the cops came in. How old are the kids? Eight to ten. The cops came in, it turned out

to be an eighth birthday party, a spiral data control due to excessive sugar intake. After speaking to parents and confiscating the sweets, the situation calmed down. I swear I'm not reading this from the onion. A picture shows, yeah, there's a picture with four kids with their hands against the police car. I mean, sugar is not classified as a drug in Sweden, but its consumption is thought to be hyper. I have a hyperactivating effect on young humans, only mother of God. Is it the sh- It's a fucking police state. Sounds like I should be- I should be vagation

in the- That's where you're gonna retire in Sweden. But is sugar considered a drug in any part of the world? I don't think so. I thought I'm aware of. You know what it is though, right? It is a drug? It's stimulant, it's a drug.

It's addictive though, sugar, note that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Like they should have a zero tolerance policy towards sugar, I guess too. I'm like, what's this? I need to hear from a Swedish ant. Like, what the fuck is it? Like living over there. Like looking over your shoulder, you put a little, put too much, like, sugar in your coffee and the Swedish police cracking your skull. What were you going to say? No, I was like, we got, we got an ad of pressing it.

Oh, this is, yeah, Anybody. This is so pressing. It's not even the one you're thinking of, Ryan. Oh, it's not. What are you guys talking about? I'm getting texts after text after text. From who? Declan, please, please, please. OK.

Please, please, please. Mention my creakystudios.com training courses. For fuck sake. All right. No, he's right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I knew it all but I've talked to people who have taken them. Is there like a graduation ceremony at the end of the course? Everybody putting their clear tassels on

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and I also know that using what he knows he saved our ass He saved Mark Marin's ass. He saved Jim Charmish's ass like everybody's ass. He's saving ass. He's saving us all over the place Not slaying us saving ass. Is there a difference? Sure when you're slaying ass I've never a different really. No, he's like out there getting all sorts of girls in sure. Yeah I've never heard of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah guys look at him over there slaying ass. What is that man? Never heard that phrase. Really? No. He's like out there getting all sorts of girls and shit. Yeah. Oh, I've never heard that before. Slaying.

Look at that guy. He's looking at him over there. Slaying ass, dude. No. No. It's true. Well, I need to get... Well, to be fair, nobody would have ever said that.

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What can he do about it? Think Ming's, you're gonna join up for one of those courses you told me. Oh yeah? Yeah, just a refresher, just thinking of make sure he stays sharp. Keep sharp, yeah, keep. He's on top of all the cutting edge.

Oh my gosh, stay frosty, you know that. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. We're in the right place, boy. Oh yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. I know how everyone loves these blue juice ads while a lot of times I hear that people fast-forward through the regular content just to get to them. This is announcement. I get the hot off the press from Tom Mom.

Tom Mom, president of blue juice they want to thank the answer rallying and getting over a thousand likes on their facebook page only a week wow i would have thought we would have been able to motivate more than a thousand i mean it's still good i'm not that but i don't know but i you know you're disappointed a little like it should have been more than a thousand i'm hoping that you know that they can find it within themselves to go look up Blue Juice on Blue Juice comics on Facebook. Maybe

we can get a maybe a thousand more would just be so nice. Just to show them what we're like. It's a light. It's two seconds right. Yeah. And most people are on Facebook anyway right? I don't know. I'm not. I'm not. What does it yeah I mean either but what is a light? There's surely comes cousin. You're're on Facebook and when you put something up and somebody somebody likes it. I didn't know she wanted to identify. Okay, I heard that they got to don't like button on Facebook now, right? Is that true? Maybe. I don't know. Okay, real? I thought you were like you're what?

21. Yeah. I thought you would have your finger on the pulse of this stuff, man Facebook's not for is it I thought that was like your daddies Social media so what's that like like your mom being like it's like the virtual obituary column like older people Yeah, is there where mom jeans cups cousin? Is there a young hip social media site? I don't know. That's what I hear Instagram is all the rage now. That's the blue juice. I'm sure they are right. They're very photogenic. Guys.

The president, it could be photos of all their all their wonderful Art they need a blue juice model. Oh, you mean stuff like Yeah, that's what I need the blue juice model. Yeah How would you how would you like to would you like to be the blue juice model? Okay, you heard it. I mean if you're gonna have a face of that company. It's not gonna should be one of those guys Should it should be Emily here? guys. Should it be Emily here? She's earned it. Oh, get them?

You think get them over Emily? Well, I mean, you sell comics though. Yeah, remember back in the day, I think I made a comic book fan. When you used to go to comic cons, this was back in the day. Oh, they still do it. And they would have like booth babes everywhere.

And they don't have that anymore. You necessarily do. Not in the biggies, not in the big cons. What are you talking about? You've been to the big cons. I'm going to send you a go over here. You walk the floor? Yeah.

No booth baves no more. In New York City, they never had them. Wow. booth baves are gone. What? It should have been. It should have been like stricken from. Why?

It's bait and switch. It's like it's like it's it has nothing to do with the quality of the books. Come here boys. And then you get over there. Yeah. It's like it's like it's it has nothing to do with the quality of the book Come here boys, and then you get over there. It's like some shit book on the counter You know if your book should sink or swim based on the quality of the content inside So you say how hot your booth baby's yes, that's pretty sound so Emily's fired. Yes, sorry. I'm a year out Just fired you the way they want to thank

the Blue juice just fired you. The way they want to thank the ants for giving all those likes is to offer 20% off their entire catalog of the accelerators and Bonnie and the new Ether and Empire. All you have to do is go to shopbluejuice.com and enter the code TESD to check out and you're going to get 20% off all their stuff. You said shop with a P right? Shop, okay, so it's not like you said shot like shot. Did Sally said shot. All right I would have never want to confuse that because this could fuckin bury these guys shop

That's a nice it's a nice little discount That's a nice calm. It's a nice little discount. Oh, sweet. Accelerates is good. I am surprised that that has been made into a movie or television show yet. It does have them all the sorrows right there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It does like I can see it. Yeah. But you need to be aware you cannot pay in likes. I think they expect cash. They want real money as much as they dig their likes. What does it like me in on Facebook? You do you know? Like is it just, yeah, she doesn't know either. Nobody seems to know. No, I don't know. She's like showing appreciation before you. Oh, okay. So it's like following somebody on Twitter almost. Okay. Okay. That's it. They want

people to follow them. Oh, okay. So then they'll be inundated with stuff that they might, they thought they could like it a one-time thing, but it's not a one-time thing. Now you're getting pounded with blue juice bullshit all the time. Well, it's not. If you're in the comic, it's not bullshit. I just get it. Yeah. I mean, if you're going to follow any company, comic company, you want to. Yeah, I mean if you're gonna follow any company Coma company you want these guys I guess that I've always admired their Just their model their business model. I love their they've got moxie these kids. Yeah, they're enthusiasm They're energy. I have never ever ever thought anything but like admiration for what they what they

Have achieved already and what I think they will achieve You know at some point. My feeling is they should all be kernels. You know, just get that part. Colonel Tom Mum. Colonel Ronnie Porto. All right, so that's Blue Juice. Did anyone you guys see squad?

Squad. Yes. Would you like it? I did. Really? Yes. What was it? I did really? I liked it. Oh yes, I got the first half hour so good and then I was just like I don't even know what the fuck's going on anymore I really want to ask you this don't okay. Did you like the Joker? Are you like fuck this? On this depending on I like the Joker. I did not mind the care I thought it was a it was a different look you know we reminded me of

I did not mind the care. I thought it was a different look. You know, we reminded me of uh, reminded me of Bowie. Yeah. I see that. Green hair and like, reminded me of that stark orange hair. Yeah. Super skin and pale as a ghost. Yeah. In the suits. He reminded me of Bowie a lot like early 70s Bowie. And that makes a lot of sense. I gotta say, I like them. I like them too. Ripped on them. Oh really? He's taking a hard time. He's taking it on the. Yeah. People said he was barely in it, which I thought his movie. I ripped on them. I was really. He was taking it hard. He was taking it on me. Yeah. People said he was barely in it, which I think there's movie. Yeah, but I thought he was in it enough. Like the way I was led to believe was that he pops up in a scene or two, but he's really

like spread out throughout the movie. And I was just glad that we saw a take that I had never seen before. I agree. Like I didn't want to rehash of of Nicholson or or or he might or like it was a totally different take and you may not agree with it or think it look cheesy, but I kind of liked it. I was like, I get it. I how many I felt it was strange that they would they focused on so many helicopter crashes. How many helicopter crashes were in that movie? You could have cut the budget fucking 10 billion dollars by cutting out the goddamn unnecessary

helicopter crashes. There was no less than three helicopter crashes in a half hour, right? It was so weird. And the first one, like when they get shot down, it meant nothing to the story. Like they get shot. They just, and then they walk out and they don't even mention the helicopter crashing in. And then run the pilots that's hiding.

It's crazy. I was like, why did they fucking put these helicopter crashes in? It looks like a lot was on the cutting room floor. When she gets shot out, Amanda, well, I mean, listen, we're gonna have minus brothers. When she gets shot down in her helicopter, I'm like, why did her helicopter go down to street level? I was like, because they rescued her,

and then instead of taking over the floor in a way, she fucking goes down flying away, she fucking goes down the building, that's where they shoot her. And I was like, why the fuck would a helicopter go and inch off the ground? It makes those sense. I could have believed that the movie fell off such a cliff, man. It it there was parts I like, there was parts I didn't like of course, but the um I felt that the villains or the monsters in the city were so poorly done like the ones with like all the black berries on their face like they look like something out of Sid and Marty Croft and it looks that like like that cheap looking yeah and everything else looked superb well I would you go with such cheesy looking beef.

I had the double dose of disappointment because the rumor I heard was that they were fighting star of the conqueror. And that was going to be... Oh, you're waiting for that? And that was hoping for it. And that was going to be the big surprise that I was going to have the fucking things. And I was like, that is awesome. And then it wasn't that.

And then I was like, well, why are you assembling a team full of shooters and fighters to fight a supermanatural element? I'm like, I don't, it made that again with your right. It made no sense. If you're going to garner a team of superpowered beings, one, I'd pick someone with fucking superpowers. Harley Quinn doesn't have any power. She has to have the remembering.

Does not have superpowers. That's the boring, does nothing. It was a strange choice. But I'll say I enjoyed more of it than I disliked Yeah, and that made it that made it okay for me. I really love the enchantress I love the way she moved yeah, that was body the way her body movements were. Yeah, it looked like something alien That look cool. I thought he was good as dead shot. I liked him that the joy on his face when he got his hand on his gun for first time Right, I was like, that was cool.

But then I just felt like it just went out. I thought the Batman scenes were awesome too. Anything with Batman was good. Again, that's all in the first half hour. Yeah. Yeah. Once they get into the city, you're just like, you're like, what's going on? I didn't even say what was going on.

And then when they're like, their mission, I wasn't clear on. At one point, I turned to a station. I was like, what are they? Who are they going for? I was like, I don't get. They did it in a flashback right they showed you what happened like that no they did the reveal when they broke into the room and she was in the room and you found out that they were rescuing her oh yeah yeah but they never made it clear that they were even rescuing so I was just like I don't

know what's going on right now it's just very confusing to me and got to make another one right I fed've had a box office. Not so much money, yeah. And there's a good movie to be made with these. A better movie. A better movie, yeah. Do you see Ghostbusters yet? I have not seen Ghostbusters. I don't think you can now right? I bet you. It's probably got a way for you to watch. I think you missed that on that one buddy. I don't know. I think you're going to come back to the table and like, I wish I had seen this on the big screen.

I hope so. Did you hear about one of the Ghostbusters was taking it also? Like, she had the flea social media. Oh, the Black Lady? Oh, the Black Lady. Is that the one actor? Yeah, Leslie, something like that. Yeah, I mean, he or they just did.

They broke into a personal account, put her passport and I drive his license and naked photos of her online. What? Yeah, that seems fair. And that's funny. For what reason? Well, what did that do? That was not angry?

Yeah, the internet was not. Well, I heard it was hope solo that day. I'm not saying she deserved it for doing this, but I think that the reason she became a target is because she was very vocal in the whole you know sexism like shut up shut up like just shut up internet yeah yeah yeah so the internet was like oh shut up how about you shut up right wow it's pretty fucking crazy would you think they can catch the persons or person I don't think they'll ever catch them and I don't even want to comment on any more than I already have in case those people are up there. Look I'm sure they had their reasons

I don't know they are but come on Swedish yeah I don't want to choke with clock Colonel Brian Q in the nude Colonel takes no stance in this matter. Colonel Brian Q in the nude. Colonel takes no stance in this matter. That, that, come on. I mean, you think they'll go after, they'll think they'll at least try to find out who did it. I hope so. I hope so. They figured out who broke into all those celebrities' phones and stole their nude pictures. This is why all my dick picks are polarized that I know. You don't really have anything down your phone that you would want That you don't want the public to see to you. Yeah, not at all. In fact, I thought I lost my phone yesterday I wasn't even concerned as I get I'll just blank it and that's that won't be a big deal. I have nothing

I've got some text between me and get them and I don't know if I want the world to see them. Yeah, could you imagine you got hacked? see now. Yeah, could you imagine you got hacked? You're crazy. Why did you throw away Mike's picture? I already told you. We're getting just dropsy n-word every other. There's nothing there's nothing scandalous, but just I think people would be like I can't believe they talked about a game show for three hours on love the attack. Yeah. One of the funnest things. Who's crazy now? One of the funniest things I heard all week was Jay and his wife Jordan were here for a couple days.

And Jordan was in the store. She's back here by the poker table and get him was up front. And she's looking at him. She goes, is that the Gidem? Totally straight face. Not aware that it wasn't a title like the Colonel. I got to hang out with I like Jordan so much. She's such a good person.

Yeah, she's great. She's a good egg. All right, so we got real ads now. Almost as great as touch of modern. If you like Jordan, you'll love touch of modern. Yeah, have you ever wanted to be the envy of your group? Q, like you're the envy of the impractical jokers? Yep.

Okay. Well, these guys don't know this, but they've got the end scoop, the inside scoop for fuck's sake. I can't even pretend. They got the latest, they got a bunch of bullshit. You don't need. We've talked about this already, but it's cool You don't need it But you really just buy everything in need of course now. No, I mean the February but only stuff they need She stores like say how topic would be out of business and stuff like that right what it's funny You should say a topic

Yeah, cuz cousin she doesn't look like a hot topic girl though, right like you would expect her to be tatted up and like You kind of like a Disney character actually. Yeah, you do you got like big eyes and a big smile and shit Yeah, what's your name? Yeah, they can airbrush that out for Disney Yeah, a lot of those people at hot topic look like especially the older ones like I should I shouldn't have made all those choices. Yeah, right The cage how what do your ears look like let me see your ears You walked in wow Like a lot of like the gauging of the ears is one of those things that I always feel people are gonna regret

Eventually when they're like all right well not my 20s anymore I'm in my 40s right and like now I have 40s, right? And like, now I have this giant hole, the size of like a mini donut in my ear. You got to surgically repair it, right? Yeah, you got to get a like, sewed back up. Did you brother have it? What was the process on that? And, but you did have to have it surgically.

Now it just, now we just have holes in his ears. Yeah. Touch him. Yeah. Ha, ha,. They scour the globe. They misspelled scour for unique design-focused products to elevate your style. When you're writing copy, you should know how to spell scour, right? SCOUR?

No. Is that how they spell it? No, they spelled SCOWER. Come on, get what? No, yeah, is that how they smell it? No, it's the OU or they spell it SCO WER. Come on get well, you know what they they're they got so much cool shit they don't care about spelling Call to action you really scraped the bottom of the barrel for that right But what are they? They're just let's get into it. That's how much it's a website would a bunch of cool stuff on it Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff that that's that's cool cool. They let's say there's loads of new sales launching every day literally which they misspelled literally to Jesus Christ. I don't think they sell dictionaries at

Modern such a modern.com if they did they would be a bunch of Get your shit. You can improve your lifestyle on a single click wall. And you can get immediate access to these deals when they when they sign up at a mile touch of modern dot com. All right, do you want to do want to hear the slogan? Yeah. That's touch of modern dot modern calm do it today because tomorrow It'll be different. That's how life rolls in the fest lane Do it today, no wait do it today because tomorrow Yeah, I look I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're still going like

Have you ever been in the fest lane? I'm sure you have, right? I think it's there have been ties in my life where I've been like, I've been in the fast lane. I think they're a faster, I think I've been in the medium lane. I mean, I know there's always faster lanes, but at least you've been in a lane that, you know. I'm not in the right lane with my blinker on.

Yeah, that's where I've been. Your whole life? That's what I'm trying to get there now. Oh, it's easy. Yeah. Yeah, it's very easy I'm hoping in five years. I'll just like that's what I'll be doing life in the in this slowly right in the slowly What's it like that being the first thing? Well, I'm not like like I've been at faster lanes than I am and now right It's a lot of fun. What is it like the Eagles say? You're wondering if he's ever lived like a 70s rock star. I mean, I'd stop short of that I've been in the Staten Island fest. Let's put that one. Well, I know that link could be pretty

What's what is the festly? Maybe I've been in the festly we've been in the festly together a couple times You know what's what what is the facelate? Maybe I've been in the facelate we've been in the facelate together a couple times dude Then drunk and younger shenanigans fall to roll I mean I used to go I used to go into Manhattan to drink and party Four nights a week in the microwave 20s Like I used to go there all the time and like just go out I used to not leave my house to go out to like a 11 midnight Really that's one my night with that's when you started Corousin. That's when we were like. Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

Corousin. Corousin. Corousin. Corousin. Corousin. Are you saying cruising or Corousin? Corousin. I like it. It's a combination of both words. I mean, that's life in a fashion. I mean, it's like an apology to just touch on it. Yeah, I'm sorry. I need a dictionary. What it when you did last week it was there was a word you did last time I know but the there was one word you did I can't Everyone was so your night would begin at 11 a.m. It was under you like your friends were calling you like hey You want to go out and you're like it's eight o'clock? Yeah, well, we'd be like you want to you want to meet it?

Someone's those house and just like do some pre-drinking Get there around 10 drink drink do some shots some cheap free shots and then get out Leave it alive and get to get to the the bar of the club by midnight and then you go to like four five in the morning So you're just calling it a night at eight o'clock This isn't now okay, so in my 20, let's, let's paint a picture here. Yeah. So if I was to be like, I'm gonna go to Walmart, I'm gonna pick up a, you know, a couple of things I need, maybe, maybe, maybe if it's, if it's traffic's not too bad, maybe I'll

hit, or maybe I'll hit Ruby Tuesday, but I want to be home by nine. Yeah, what are you doing then? That's same evening. I'm pitying you Maybe playing video games Oh, you're not out you're not clung in my 20s. You know club in the night and nine o'clock at night You're not up into all you're still you're just you. It's time to go out. Oh, okay. Yeah, I thought you'd be sleeping the other the previous night off at nine o'clock at night And I yeah, like you just slept from like 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. Yeah, like a vampire unconscious that's that sleeping 14 straight hours. I mean you haven't done it No, I haven't done you haven't been unconscious for 14 hours. No, you haven't done it. No, I haven't done it. You haven't

been unconscious for 14 hours. No, I get up late in the afternoon. If it's a day like that. And then have my rest, Chris Bees, and then kill time to what's time to do it again. Do it all over again. Do it all over again. What about you, Cous? You in the fast lane, the medium lane or the slow lane. The medium lane or the slow lane? No, I'll let you work. Lolita's work? Yeah, I'm gonna get home with you. You drink alone at home? Oh, cool.

Hey, that's kind of like in the medium lane a little bit, right? What are you talking about? That's like fucking the auto bond to me. Yeah. No. No, your roll, Kevin's cut. No, your role, Kevin's cut. I haven't had a drink since what 1980?

Probably 86 or 7. 7 probably. T total. How's it feel? You feel you're a better man for it? I miss the thing. Not one thing. You know, they pulled up recently, they pulled up season one photos of everyone and season, like, you know, this season.

I'm the only one who, like, looks virtually unchanged. Oh, really? Yeah, these guys have so older, man, they look older. It's five years. Yeah. We do that. I'm the only one who's who's been like a hardcore drug use Yeah, they look older. It's five years. Yeah. We do that. I'm the only one who's been like a hardcore drug

you've ruined at time. Well, I'm still better. Well, I'm still starting out in a bad place. That's the reason why. That's how I have my youthful glow. Yeah. Five years ago, I looked 10 years older than I do. Exactly.

Yeah, remember how pale you used to be? and it's just how fat you used to be? Yeah, you lost a lot of weight. You have like color in your face now and... Yeah, well now it all fairness, like the fat thing I'll account for, but the blood thing was a disorder. Yeah, that's right. But like you didn't take care of it. I was like white, I was white. And then like you were just like distracted because you were just on this fucking pill. Like that. Like it wasn't the bar.

What a treat it must have been for you guys. But we still doing touch-a-mart. Yeah. That's why I was thinking like, I'm low to bring them up because then I'll hear about it. But the UK, the UK pods that we did, the space monkey stuff. The only one I know you're gonna say.

I was gonna say basically like, I was on a poor man's speedball I was taking oxy and Adderall at the same time. I thought the lead show was the only one that didn't work I still think he delivered never show the leads one I remember being like what the fuck's going on up here But yeah, I don't know if that was you might have been the audience too. We did probably them Yeah, they did the only said it was a bar was cool. Yeah, that we did it in but it was the was a good show. Those will be coming out soon. I just want to So when we won. We'll put them out except for leads. Yeah. Oh shit. Q. Why not just put them all out. Or to know. What's it that bit? It's so hard to remember. I have a I remember walking away being like we can't release that one As we said that work can never be

No, I don't think we call the Swedes cowards And give us like a lot of pauses and like a lot of like fumbling. It just wasn't a good. Okay. Good thing I got bad news for both of you guys There's a we've been recording for over an hour now. There's a home burglary every 13 seconds. So chances are both your homes have been broken into. Most happen in broad daylight. Not a blast.

Not at your house, why cute? Could you've got the ring of security kid, am I right? I've got a security system. I'm a pro. It's one of my cats just farted and I just, my phone just alerted. They let you know. Yeah. Cause if you because if you think other people

You know you're you're a major celebrity. You probably the biggest one I've ever met right so people are constantly trying to break into your compound Scaling fences that sort of thing So you need the ring the average guy does he need the ring? Yes. Because the average guy I'm sure is dealing with bill collectors and process servers and you know, all this common scum. Like things put like, but at the same time

when the welfare check gets delivered, they'll know, right? He's what you're saying. Okay. Um. Because. right? He's what you're saying. Okay. Because if you go to ring.com.tesd, you're going to get, you're going to get up to $150 off a ring of security kit. This thing is actually pretty cool. Not even kidding. I haven't. I use it. It's awesome. Right. You could be across the country and it's going to alert you if somebody's like at your door. Yeah. And you can, you can be like, oh, I'm in the bathroom.

Or, I'm in disposed. Ferris Bueller never would have gotten caught if he had this. Remember, he had that tape playing it over again. Right. With the fake mannequin. Right. Right. If this technology was available, then Ferris Bueller would have never-

No problem. He would have never faced- And you know, Ferris Bueller would have never, no problem. He would have never faced, and you know, President Roney still would have got caught. Wow. For the problems. Yeah. If the ring was available, then he would have gotten caught sooner. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

taking pictures and shit. What's up with that? How do you work with that guy afterwards? He did deadwood after that. Yeah. And you don't hate him. Like I watch him, and I'm like, he's awesome. That's character, right?

You know, I watched that one. That was great. Yeah. Emulators. Yeah, like, okay, so we do tell him Steve Dave and it comes out like I was, like wasn't he taking pictures of naked young boys and shit?

He had a collection of photos, art photos they said of artsy types days. It wasn't like kids diddling each other Tasteful tasteful news of underage So they make that with what of you will right ring. I wish you were in venture little sooner Jeffrey Jones I'm sure those little kids are proud to hear that they were tasteful photos. I know, right. So weird. So, yeah, ring.com slash T-E-S-D. And it actually is pretty cool.

It is, I think, anyway. And it's like, well, May too. It's like a sturdy product. There you go. Now, fucking Jesus Christ from heaven, done. This fucking crazy. This is long. Lou Aferin, Q. I heard I saw that you signed up for it. I did sign up for Lou Aferin. Did you get your first box of wonderful delicious

blue apron food? Yes, I did. And what was it? What was the meal inside the box? It was a potato nochi vegetable medley thing. Did you say that right? Nochi? Nochi is that right? Yeah, I don't think you're saying nochi's. I think you're saying nochi. Yeah, nochi.

Nochi. Ha. We were making fun of that. That's it, that's it, it's only, I can't tell we were making fun of that. He's such a words love. Yeah, I know. Well, he's got a little matter.

But that's an Italian word. Yeah, nochi. And it was good. Yeah, I know. He's got little metal, but that's an Italian word. Yeah, so yeah. And it was good. It was fucking great. Why didn't you like do something like on social media wise, but why didn't you go online and say I'm cooking the notes? Yeah, why don't you periscope yourself cooking the nochi? Hey, I am. Carnocula. I'm cooking the nochi. Look at me go. That's what they want. They'd rather have that blue egg on that. That's what Mike's at. Six doing. All right. He's paroscoping for 45 straight minutes. Fucking making this bullshit.

We love it. You can't get him out of here. The whole apron wants me to do a paroscoped thing. Then you know, they can call me. I'll do it. Can I come up and we'll cook something together? I mean yeah. All right. I mean, come on. When I do it for a fucking thousand dollars split 60 60 40 split 27 different people Do it for that for fucking ten bucks Come on, believe you're gonna have to pony up if you run out of the fucking nochi I love this a couple of about blue apron now this really

we could broadcast it through ring i bet right but i'm i front we're gonna cross promote yeah will barbacue you i know that i know you're gonna love these points that blue apron wants to get out to the public that that

the food is sourced sustainably Understanders developed in partnership with the Monterey Bay Aquarium seafood watch Beef is raised humanely chickens run Well free range hmm, which I assume means they run around on the rain. I've actually heard that's a scam I don't know if they run a net scam, but pork is raised naturally rather than unnaturally Regenitive farming practices are used for produce. Okay How do you know is a pork unnaturally like in a like in a cage or something?

Like you just put them in like a pen and that's unnatural are they free range swine? We should find out does that does that? But you got to love those things about you got to live a company that cares about the animal kingdom too Yeah, before they slaughter them. Let me tell you this cue because you're a lonely man cooking together builds Together build strong family bonds. Research shows that blue-aaper families cook nearly three times more often. So as you're ordering your takeout alone, yet again, 90% of it is crowned palace Chinese food on Staten Island.

Right. But I like that you're getting into this nochi stuff because now you're more likely to attract a mate mate maybe a kid. Can I just just you know? Well let me tell you why because... Build and family bonds. I'm gonna tell you this, going to the supermarket is a fucking nightmare. Like...

You told me that's a Friday night for me. Yes. That's life in the past, like... That's what that's tomorrow night. We thought I'd look at work to it. Be... Drive the fucking... That's the best parking tomorrow night. We thought I look at it Drive the fuck that's the best part the parking lot. Yeah, the humanity I'm so there I soak up the humanity. Oh my god. What if you would have drink it in grab the less no Cheen you reach for it at the same time so this sick that now the two you will fight no Vinochi right

They're ramming you with a cart that fucking people drive And God forbid you go in the 12 items a less line with 13 items now you get screened that and put down like you're an asshole Right Really that extra one You're looking for that sorry cute you hear me yelling Hey Colonel yeah Colonel or not take it over to the fucking aisle for this is the express yeah, I gotta gotta get I gotta get home. It's almost 730. Or like you use one of those robot checkout things we got a scan things 50 times or you want to buy some God forbid you

want to buy some fucking bananas. Some you got to know the banana code. If you don't you got to go into the the sub menus to look it up like what. If you don't, you got to go into the sub menus to look it up like, what the fuck? I could just go on blue apron and tell him to bring it to me at my time that I tell him to be there. And I don't even have to open the door.

The colonel, don't leave it. The mandate. That's it. Just leave it. I don't even want to see the person to leave it. The order is coming from on high. The colonel wants no cheese. You know what you got to look forward to in August, Q?

What's that? Spiced pork burgers with goat cheese and cucumber corn salad. Oh my god. Summer vegetable. You might like this. I mean, quinoa. Quinoa? Quinoa.

Quinoa. Quinoa. Quinoa. Quinoa. Ferry. Fola. Canola. Quinoa. Ferry. Ferry. Ferry tail eggplants. Ferry tail.

Shishishito peppers and corn. Is that you say that? Shishito. Shishishito peppers and corn. Pepper's in corn. What the fuck did we all drink this week? This is my far the worst we've ever been. Chicken, Tenga, tacos.

It's like, what is this? It's our squadron tomato salsa. It's good though. That's really all that matters, right? You might not know what it is you're eating, but it's good. Well, it's you know what it is. And they give you the recipes for it. Yeah.

That's the thing. you're not sitting there, well, yeah, you're like a fucking getms dinner mate, but you had up your ass trying to figure out. Yeah, that's saddled a big time. Yeah. You're just like night after night, just looking across the tables at this fucking idiot. Good morning.

You think he complains about Waltz over dinner? Oh, deaf up, 100%. Yeah. You know what he said today? You know what he threw away today. You know what he said today? You know what he threw away today. Check out this week's menu.

Get your first three meals free with free shipping, free shipping by going to blueaprin.com slash T-E-S-D. Blue apron. A better way to cook it's true they've got a they've got to hook up with touch a modern they're slogan is better blue apron yeah touch a modern is too long you got to work on that you guys you guess that's it right it's it nice nothing ever said tell them to yeah we don't have one yeah I'm gonna say right now I just say and I'll put it at the end ever said tell them Steve. Yeah, we don't have one. Yeah, I'm gonna say right now. I just say I'm gonna put it at the end of something.

Tell them Steve, Dave. I won't stop doing that anyway. You gonna stop it? No, I think, yeah, let's stop doing that. We don't need it no more. Until people, we're moving away from tell them Steve. Okay. I wanna come up with something different.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's just change it to TSD. Oh, it's the 300 episodes. You know, maybe it's time for facelift. We need to rebrand. Yeah, all right You like that better TSD? We should we should have like a fucking guitar like Like some new openings like bad ass. Oh, no never a new opening like we talk about it. Yes, let's fire J. Sarge Okay, sorry I hope these courses keep me afloat

No, no, I don't want to change that I'm just saying but like I know tired of saying it was a I don't know maybe maybe we'll take a maybe a let's do a little add a little ad but like a contest for a new ending phrase, I'll tell you what and and there's going to be a prize. The prize is going to be, if your ending is picked, we'll give you shit, I forget what model is. I'm pretty sure it's that, remember that recorder that Zoom gave us? To give away? It's a Zoom recorder, the H4.

H4, yes. Yeah, it's that one. Let me look it up while we're talking about it. That's fucking fancy pants, man. That's a it's a zoom recorder the h4 h4. Yeah, it's that one. Let me let me look it up over talking. That's fucking fancy pants And that's a pretty that's a pretty sweet fucking Right, I'm a patch, but I'm but did I say recorder? I mean, we got to give it away because there's a door is locked. I'm clocked out patch now, too Yeah, when did that I Stumbled across that to pay patch because I don't have anymore and I went with the new the new phrase on the new on the new patch

Wow, I've really been stringing with those you haven't even announced it on area. Yeah, I kind of want to get him Why? So where do blue juice gets 10,000 likes? Oh So as they get 10,000 likes what what's gonna happen? Like when I get when the blue juice on Facebook with blue juice comics gets 10,000 likes what what's gonna happen when I get when the blue juice on Facebook Blue juice comics gets 10,000 likes right I Will start to hand out You know more willy nilly the door is locked and I am clocked out patch so only 9,000 more likes

Is what we're looking at. It's not a lot for patches. For patches that most people will never get because they don't walk in. So wait, here's the, okay, so they, how are we going to do this? What are they do? They're going to email their idea. They can email their idea and took to a creaky cares at gmail dot com. Oh, I'm back in I see. That didn't take too long. And creaky will be looking over the new ending phrase and he will give me like a list of the top 10. OK, then we'll decide on error who's going to win.

This is, it's OK. So it's the H4 and recorder. They wanted us to record on it, like do a part of test on it. Oh, I did. I mean, this one could be. Well, no, I mean, they know this one isn't. Oh.

But like you have to, because it has that built-in thing up top and there's only two, only two that wasn't the fucking age for it. That was like that was like basically like a little voice recorder type thing. That thing's like 80 bucks. Yeah it was from zoom but it's not this. I think it's awesome. The little thing that goes in your iPhone. No he lost like nine of them already. This is another one that they sent us. It's just like a little recorder with like built- uh... also yeah it worked really well yeah they are uh... no no shit like i would i would

recommend zoom if anybody's gonna uh... so creaky cares a gmail sent if you if you in a maybe if they and if the outcry to not change it you know it's if it it defends right the uh... you know we'll keep it though. Yeah, I don't think we should change it. Oh, you really don't think so? No, I don't get why we would.

Contest contest is off. Sorry. I want to keep it fresh. How does that make the show fresh? Guess people between it, like, I want to hear the new phrases at the end. Okay. Right? I'm tired of hearing that.

So wait, are we going gonna change it every single week then No, but with that that initial one will renounce it That'll be one of the most download pop Yeah history in history of potting all right We're gonna blow out the fucking iTunes server Tell them Steve Dave Parker. Sorry. Fuck it. It really says contest is over like that. I've been living the life of the dawn, Chained up the two-way and dawn, Let the fake in the sun never be

It ever got to be wrong, Make me sleep outside of my house It's all in the dead, I want to slide It's making me feel the wind It's laughing at the mud, I'm worth a slide Just making me feel the wind Laughing at the mud and getting the ribs Looking with the eye of the blinded firey lady Too old to learn, too got to get proud to pay Time's a double as empty now

This dude all tried to so much for speed down Cool, been living the life of a beast Words of take my name Keep me on a chain, chain on any days of pain away You make me sleep outside my mouth is on a downward slide Ready to get the weird, laughing at the butter, and getting the real You keep you in the eye as of our goodbye every day To all the mountains you got in touch with me

Time to go to the same old me now Just to don't fly to the shore it cuts me down ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ I'm a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little To all the mountains, to guide the planet, Time to come to this setting, don't be loud Use the dog's life to celebrate what's leading down 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc

1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man This has been the production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com. Sir, only at smudcast.com