Tell Em Steve-Dave - #312: Tan & Poisoned
Episode Date: November 19, 2016Walt returns from Florida, Git 'Em gives an animal control clinic, TESD dispenses sound advice in a flash. Music: Sawdust - Downward...
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I say you assemble a team of Down syndrome kids like the expendables.
That's shitty.
That's some shitty shit right there.
Yeah, why are you always at the dumpster? I just, you know, I'm just like, you know, trying to like... Tell them Steve Dave.
Did you tell them?
Oh yeah, I told them.
Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave or Space Muggies or
whatever you want to call it this week.
There's no queue. So if you're
tuning in to here, queue, it's the anti-Q, get them and wall your back after
vacationing. Yes. Q and I did last week and what's the world coming to when I'm
the only reliable one on this podcast?
This is um...
Well, why um, I would talk to you.
I would be dubbed unreliable because I went on vacation for the first time in two years.
Some would say.
That's it.
What was the vacation with the cruise where you had to pick up the old lady?
I had to carry her, you mean?
Yeah.
I was just like, you're not talking about my wife.
I was about to fucking jump over this table.
Yeah, man.
I just see a smack em around.
You mean when I saved the old senior citizen?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I guess that was about two years ago, right?
Okay.
I don't know.
But yeah, I consider myself rather reliable.
I mean, I mean, you consider myself rather reliable. I mean, I
Mean you guys sold it on I mean it's good to get to a do space monkeys I think you guys should do space monkeys more often get it's cathartic
purge ourselves
Yeah, I thought we you know, we of course we talked about the
The what's at the election?
Most people seem to be fine with it.
A couple of people didn't like it.
You know, oh, you meant listeners, not, uh, the, the public in general.
Uh, the poll.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, we're going to, it's just the way it is.
Uh, some people are like, oh, you know, we go to Tulips.
You've named out to hear about politics and really the only reason we talked about was because so many people were like, hey, we go to Tulips, you've named out to hear about politics. And really the only reason we talked about it
was because so many people were like,
hey, can you talk about it?
Well, I mean, it was the biggest,
probably the biggest story.
If not of that day, then if maybe the decade,
maybe the last 25 years.
That's still it still is.
You know, I mean, it was a pretty big event
that I think you would be remiss if you didn't if you guys
Had and covered it you know the week that it had well any of the people that are like you know
Oh, you didn't talk about it enough or like you were sitting on the fence
It's like I need even fucking vote how how can I not be sitting on the fence? That is a very definition of
Fence sitting is not voting at all
Yes So so would you say that precludes you for being woke
because you didn't vote?
I'm not even gonna. Yeah.
I mean, I know I'm not woke.
I didn't, I didn't need to not vote to know that.
I'm sure Walt had an absentee ball that he, uh, that he sent in from Florida.
I don't even want to talk about that.
I don't want you, I mean, there's nothing.
You guys covered it all so eloquently.
Yeah.
That's weak that there's no need for me to even weigh in.
A lot of new sources were going to space monkeys.
So I'm not saying shit.
Just because we versed it so well.
I mean, when you're in Disney, you come to the...
There's no outside world.
Yeah, yeah, you're in Disney, you come to the... There is no outside world. Yeah, you're right.
And it's a nice feeling.
Like Mickey Mouse is your president.
He's president, yeah.
And he's never going to say anything towards another,
towards a demographic.
He's never gonna offend anyone.
He's not building any walls, got many mouses, first lady.
He's bringing all the walls to get you into Disney.
Right.
If you got money and you're gonna need a lot of...
No, that's key.
You're going to be...
The key is your guy.
As long as you got the mula, he will make you forget about the outside world.
Right.
And it's worth it.
Right?
Just a little bit. I don't know. Just forget about everything that world. Right. And it's worth it, right?
Just a little bit.
I just want to forget about everything that's going on.
Yeah, I mean, can you put a price on being able
to forget about the outside world for a couple days
because eventually, you can't stay there forever,
but, you know, I can.
It's about a $60 a can.
You're in Nutella ice. You can't stay there forever, but you know, yeah, I can it's about a buck sixty a can
You're Nutella ice Nadi
What's that?
Nadi ice
Drink your choice that nadi daddy. I got sulfur poisoning down Florida
sulfur poisoning, huh? So you were
You took a side excursion to a sulfur mine that's swimming,
which is the only way I would imagine
if someone could get sulfur poisoning.
No, you can get it through the water.
No, you can get it here.
But you normally get that through well water, like sulfur.
I mean, if anybody's gonna know the guy,
he would know it was sitting right here.
You have a well in the farm, right?
Yes, yes, we have a well-fired farm.
Now, do you guys have to like take the temperature
of the water? I don't mean literally the temperature, but, do you guys have to take the temperature of the water?
It doesn't mean literally the temperature,
but you do guys have to test the water before you drink it on occasion.
We know.
Well, we did when we first got the place.
Get us to see it.
A couple of years ago, like 12 years ago now.
I was going to say, I walked in on a conversation where
Gillem was complaining about the state of the rotten food.
He knew, he knew that it was past its shelf date when he bought it.
He eats it, makes them sick, and then he's like,
what the fuck?
That's what's saying to me.
It was one day to its shelf date.
Like one day past it?
No, it was one day too, and then that's why I was fifth percent off.
But when you have a well, do you have to make sure
you're constantly testing the purity of the water
to make sure it's safe?
Not really, because usually the whatever feeds it
is so far down that it doesn't really get affected by
like, is there a whole above ground that you could fall in?
No, it's about eight inches.
Almost like, baby Jessica fell in.
I was saying baby, get him.
Baby get him.
They just, they wouldn't try to save me that I just
Really I think if get them fell into a well
Like as an adult yeah
What the cuz that was a big thing for a little while yeah, that was before there was 24 hour news though
Yeah, I think it was on you almost had 24 hour news then it was breaking north of it
Yeah, they were breaking in like to the
Newcastle networks. Yeah
Still yeah, I mean it was a big story that was that consumed America
Because back then we had more newscast per day. We had to like the 12 o'clock news the morning news
We have more than we have now. No, I'm saying I need to a network to be yeah
But as going back to the sulfur poisoning, no,
Jessica's 30.
She's single.
She fell down the well in 1987.
Are you?
No.
Okay.
Then why you asking?
Yeah.
What do you care?
Get him.
You think you're going to get with a star like maybe Jessica.
But did you have you ever, when's the last time you're in Florida?
Not this past June the June before
Okay, so recently yeah with it with it years on the water tap
Can you it's overpowering right the sulfur?
I know I didn't find that we we stayed in
I didn't find that. We stayed in Fort Wilderness, like we ran to one of those cabins. I didn't find it to be sulfur. You stayed in...
You could turn on the tap on it. You could just smell the room. It just smells like burnt
eggs. You turn the shower on. by the third day I was there,
I had what you call the sulfur ice.
The sulfur shuffle to the bathroom.
Now, you know, it didn't cause me to have to use the bathroom,
but it would cause me to be with a feel like my stomach
was swollen.
And it was a constant feeling of like I had to burp
to release this gas, but whenever I would burp to try to release it, it didn't do anything.
And so then I just had to go on a strict diet of bottled water and
same with like vanilla sandwich cookies that were in a package that were pre-packaged.
like vanilla sandwich cookies that were in a package that were pre-packaged. I like how Mexico to most people is like that's Florida to you. You need bottled water and
shit. Everybody else in the family fall prey? To sulfur? Yeah, to the sulfur poisoning.
No, shockingly I was the only one who... And other girls like... Yeah, of course.
Of course something had to go wrong
well i didn't let it stop me it wasn't like i was uh... like i was laid up in bed
um...
i just had to make sure i didn't do anything like kuku on the like you know in terms of
rise anything because of my my belly wasn't feeling
a hundred percent
you know say with the well sometimes like
you have a rainfall and you get that smell comes through.
What's causing it?
I guess the water goes into the water straining and all the fecal matter from the
water.
No, no, no, it's like it's all the manure.
It's like all the water goes into the well drawn from it and it stirs it up.
I was at the first day at the hotel and we stay at the animal kingdom, which is one of the, you
know, one of the higher end hotels.
Right, very posh.
Yeah.
Figured this is probably the last time.
That and the Grand Floridian are the two that are pretty fancy.
And this is the one that you can look at on your balcony.
You could see some, some animals. So you even went for the high end room, like not one that's can look at on your balcony. You could see some animals.
So you even went for the high end room, like not one that's looking at the parking lot,
one that's...
You got to pay extra for the room, or you could see the animals.
I would imagine so.
Yeah, so we did it because it was, you know, probably, you know, I've got an 18-year-old
daughter.
I mean, Wednesday, next time we're going to be taking a family trip like this, again,
we don't know.
Yeah. You know, so we're like, I I was like I don't care what it costs. If that's the one that they want to do let's do what they want to do
No, we'll do it now. Do they guarantee you see animals or I mean, it's pretty it's is there's no need to guarantee you can
I'm gonna show my animals. This is to the point. We're like it's goddamn animals get out of here. No, but so I
Know this is gonna sound like I'm
brain dead, but taking consideration, I've never been to the animal kingdom hotel. I've
never and I don't know I don't know what the I don't know what Disney has in the store
for us. I don't know what new like wonders
that they're ready to spring on us.
So I met the hotel and I have to bring,
like we're going down to catch a bus to another park.
My wife says she forgot something in the hotel room.
I gotta go run upstairs and grab it
before the bus gets there.
So I'm on my way in and in what they have,
I mean, it's a gorgeous hotel and they have like these these fire, you'd love it, like they have these fires inside the hotel
where you could just sit and read a book and it smells so nice. The fire just smells really
nice and it's, but it doesn't give off a lot of heat though for some reason. You know,
there was this gentleman not affiliated with Disney, just a, what I thought was a guest. I still think he was a guest, but he was sitting there reading a book and he had this animal
on his shoulder.
And it was tiny.
And at first glance, it looks to be, appear to be a dog.
You know, I think a service dog.
Because I saw a lot of service dogs.
Right.
That's new scam, everybody pulses.
Oh, yeah, I wanted to do it.
Oh, I need my therapy dog.
I need my anxiety dog or rabbit or cockatoo or whatever the fuck, yeah.
I was going to try to save on dog sitting and buy any bag just buy a couple of leashes
that said service dog.
Like those invisible dog leashes
you can have to walk.
But this gentleman has what appears to be
the tiniest dog I've ever seen in my life though.
I mean, it's so tiny.
And what it's also fucked up about it was
is that it's dressed in a blue suit.
Like it has like a weird like a lad in suit on. Right. And it has legs though, but when I look at it was, is that it's dressed in a blue suit. Like it has like a weird like a lad in suit on.
Right.
And it has legs though, but when I look at its hat,
it has like a bell, a bell mint hat on it.
It has.
A fence, yes.
If it ends up being an Indian baby, we're finished.
And I thought it was an animal.
I'm positive it's an animal, but I'm not sure if it's a dog or not.
I'm like, what is that? Because it's moving. It's alive. There's no doubt about it in my mind that it's
alive the way it's moving and it's moving its head back and forth, but it doesn't have a dog's
face. It has almost like a bird's eye. It has a very strange snout that what like doesn't
look like a beak, to me and I'm like
What the fuck is this is this something that Disney's now is doing is are they creating animals?
It's like Jurassic Park. I think I like is this a combination of some of two animals that
Now what's that sure glider?
Now some people I do you think I would think that that was fucking, that looked like a dog? If it had a suit on.
This is a little hat.
I mean, it looked, it looked,
and it way it was sitting on this person's shoulder
was so like regal.
So I'm like, I don't have much time,
so I'm like, I can't, I have to find out
what manner of creature is this.
So I walk off to him, I was like, excuse me, I go,
is that a bird or is that a dog?
My child, I'm tearing you.
And he looks at me, he looks up and he goes and he laughs.
And I'm watching it and it's moving its head and it's moving its arms.
Like, and it's it's paws or whatever you want to call them.
But again, it's dressed in like all this blue
Felt and velvet. I don't know. I don't I can't tell what it is because and
And I can't it doesn't have an odor either, but it's overpowered by the fire. So I can't tell what it is and
He looks at me and he goes it's a griffin. Do you know what a griffin is? And I'm like
Well first I saw you're probably talking the only guy in the fucking hotel hotel that probably knows what a Griffin is so fucking be so condescending.
Right.
And I'm like, yeah, because they're so fucking common griffins.
Yeah, and he goes all over the place.
And so then I think I'm like, oh, he's crazy.
And he's thinking the same thing about you.
Yeah, like, is that a dog or a bird?
And so I said, oh, and I laugh because I'm like, okay, he thinks it's a Griffin.
So I'm like, oh, okay.
And he goes, a Griffin is a lion and an eagle mixed.
Right.
Like real like a jerk kind of like tone.
And I'm like, yeah, I know what it is.
I go, obviously it's not a griff.
I go, I go, all right.
And so I go to turn away and lay.
And he goes, it's a puppet.
No.
Like I was an idiot.
Like he was so annoyed at me.
And I'm like, I don't want to be scream.
I'm like, fuck it.
You want the attention of having this fucking thing
on your shoulder.
And yeah, so he comes up to me and he was like,
what is that?
You're annoyed by them.
Right.
And this is a guess,
because nobody who works at Disney
is gonna treat you like that. Yeah, it had to be a guest
So it's definitely a guest and it's definitely a guest who's like, hey, I know
But when Kevin and I used to work at the store people would come in like some people and I've snakes or birds like
There's that extra
Attention factor that they're looking for they can't just have a snake and keep them at home
Right gotta bring them to the store this guy has his fucking puppet whatever the fuck you pulled it
He pulled a out of his pocket
He pulled like our remote control that he was room
He was making it move with his hands
I'm gonna say in this pocket
So this thing was basically like it's something like out of Westworld
It was that realistic and move that like you know with with the handheld
Device that he had in his pocket. He was able to make it do like move his eyes.
But he was so angry at me for believing
that it could be a real animal.
Like he was so annoyed that I asked him about it though.
As opposed to like, wow, I did a pretty good job.
Like this is a real,
now this wasn't the fever dreams
of too much fucking sulfur in your system.
This is again, this is the first day
I said that was tell, so the sulfur, fucking sulfur in your system. This is again, this is the first day that's how it tells you sulfur, the sulfur
right is hadn't.
So it kicked off with.
So if it kicked, I kind of put, it kind of put me in a bad mood.
You know, going home, you know what a criffin is.
But yeah, like, I was just kind of like, I thought like this was the
happy place.
This was the magic kingdom.
Like why you, like you should have smacked it right off the shoulder.
I have wonder in my eyes, right off the bat.
So I'm like, this is amazing.
This fucking is the most amazing thing I've ever seen,
whatever this animal is on this guy's shoulder.
Like, trunk could be dictator for life,
and it would have mattered because you're like,
this is fucking awesome.
They're creating new species.
And these docile creatures that you can clothe.
Right.
Sit on your shoulder.
Nope.
Nope.
It was a puppet.
But yeah, I had to.
It was a puppet on by some douchebag.
And I had to be made to feel like a tool for asking about it.
Yeah.
Like a heel.
Like an inferior.
And then I got a bad head cold on the way home.
Yeah.
But I did find the highlight, well, I don't want to say the highlight.
There was a call out of highlights, but one of the things that really tickled me, and because I hadn't
been, hadn't sat in one in almost 20 years, was I, we found a ponderosa on the way down.
Oh my god. Getting talked down to by the asshole. I was like, highlight,
who dared to go into ponderosa. Oh, it was so great. It was so good.
Ponderosa. That was so good
It was so good. I was like I saw it and I was like I want to stop there. I want to stop there It's like your cafeteria for steaks
And I finally was able to convince the girls you know like you know if I
Let them do what they want to do the one of the one of the days that they would eat at the ponderosa
We ate the ponderosa
It was good. You push me around in this wheelchair because I'm so surprised.
And the ponderos worked out.
And it was really, really, it was like one of those things where like it wasn't going
to live up to the heights that I talked it up to them, but everybody loved it.
I was going to say it was the last time, like we used to go up in, I think it was in Edison,
the kind of used to go in.
Then there was one in Middletown for a little while.
Yeah, yeah.
And we loved it, man.
I mean, I'm talking about me, Ian Kev.
Yeah.
Like the potatoes were exactly as I remembered them.
Even though I knew, I knew that those potatoes were made
with sulfur water.
I was already fucking diseased with it already.
I don't care.
I'm eating as much.
I give you the lung cancer with one more cigarette.
You may as well just eat the potatoes.
Exactly. I'm surprised that you were up up close in personal with these
animals because you had the opportunity to have a free animal at your house today.
And I have a steady ran away. I don't care how this makes me sound. I know it's
going to make me sound like I have I have two lips
I have I don't care about how how bad or how gross or how
Unmask you and this makes me sound this morning. I have a wood burning stove and I
heard the the tell-tale signs of some scratching inside of it in one other time, earlier
this year, a bird got stuck inside of it, and it sounded exactly like that.
So what we did last year was we called some animal control guy out to come out, and he
took the bird out, rescued it, let it go.
So I'm under, you know, I text text my wife and I'm like there's another
There's a nut that's coming
That's that text is coming
I tell her that there's a bird in the or something in the in the wood stove pipe again
So she takes back immediately. I'm at work. I can reach you with you in your ornithobia. What's that? Ornithobia is a scared of birds. Yeah. I'm not, you know what? I didn't
realize I was scared of birds until later, but anyway, so I go about my business. I go get dressed.
I'll have to call someone when I get home. I'm at work. Oh, very current. That's the tone. I'll
just, I'm just giving a heads heads up I'm not saying come home now
I'm not saying leave work immediately. I'm not saying this is a 401 and 9-1 on the school. Yeah, I'm gonna set the house on fire leave
So I go get ready I go get dressed um
And my my bag my my bag, but if I carry all my in, is in the room where the bird is in the stove.
And I open the door to go get my bag, and I take one step in, and I'm like, I don't hear anything in the stove, and I'm like, hopefully, got out.
Then I hear an even stranger sound, and I'm like, what the fuck is that? I go, that sounds like that's right by my ear.
I look over to the side and I like, on the couch, is this...
Is it Griffin?
No, not again!
He's a fucking rat with wings.
Just like flapping those wings so violently.
But so panic, yeah, trying to get,
trying to get like banging into the window,
falling, banging and then hitting the couch,
doing it again and again.
And I'm like, and you know what I said,
I told you like it was like that fucking hitch cocky
and like that, that when the camera.
That stretching and like jaws when he had.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see that and I'm like
I
Slam the door and I'm like what the fuck it's in there. It's in my it's in the house. It's where I it's where I watch TV
It's where I sleep sometimes
It's a house and I yeah, so I'm I'm like fucking
Beside myself and I type to my wife
I don't want it to force
You can deal with this burn
I don't know how but that fucking thing is in the room. It's bizarre
If I it got out of the stove somehow it's up against the window behind the couch flapping like crazy
These are all like one right after there's not one text. Oh, yeah
12 texts in a row who can I call who can I call who can I call then finally she calls and she's just like it's a bird
Go get it. I like I can't go get it. It's out. I go I cannot I go I don't think I could describe to you how repulsed
I would be if I went for that bird and that birds like
crazily
Rapid wings touch my face
Which is feathers
It's literally as if like a fucking the alien is touching your body or something
It doesn't have hands it has wings. It's just so to me, it's like, it just sent like shivers through my entire body the thought of this thing like
Like spasming in my hand and like you getting out and touching me and pecking at my face or something.
Putting the money maker.
No, no, believe me. I know I don't. Like, it could fucking, it could rip my nose off and it would it would might be an improvement.
I'm not worried about my fucking looks. I'm worried about a fucking piece of vermin
Attacking me or putting its vermin-esque
Features on me, you know to me it would repulse me so I call animal control and they're like well we could be there by five
Cost is $295
we could be there by five cost is $295.
I'm like, all right, I don't care. Whatever it takes, I'll do it.
And but the like-
They're plus five dollars for the mass and guilt,
we're gonna bring you.
So then I'm like, I'm like, you know what?
Get him works on a farm.
He talks about fucking killing animals all the time.
That's what I want to kill,
but this guy doesn't seem to have an aversion
to like putting his hands on animals
and taking the life out of him.
So if I ask him to remove it,
he'll maybe he could do it.
So I call him and he's there within a half hour.
So not only he calls me and he goes,
you're an experienced with wildlife, right?
I'm like, okay, yeah, he goes,
there's a burden, there's a burden in the room.
And he's trapped. I go, well, okay, yeah, there's a burden, there's a burden the room is trapped.
They go, well, just open up the window.
He goes, because I can't get a ladder
and go up to the second floor to open the window.
I go from the inside.
He's just like, I can't go in the room with it.
I'm like, so you don't want to get just in case
it like one after.
I don't have a ladder to go on the outside or open it.
But you would have to open it from the inside.
I would have to go in and open it up from the inside and there is not.
I, and I saw it.
I don't know.
Like I said, I don't care when anybody says, I don't care.
I don't care.
I was, I was a guest.
It's a total invasion of like, you feel violated.
Like if I see a bird out, when I see it, when we walk outside tonight and we're leaving, if I see a bird, you know, I'm not going to freak out. But the
fact that it was in my house.
In your space, where are my children sleep?
Oh, I was, I was beyond, I was just out of it. And he get him came down. I was waiting
outside for him. And he came over. He had a towel, walked up the stairs,
where the room was, and he got it out.
Like I said, it was that scene from Ghostbusters
when they pull up the hotel, and that manager's just
waiting out there like, oh, we have a dinner tonight.
Let's clean up.
Now it's a real toss up, having a bird
or get them in your house.
So I've had a gala, at least he has hands.
So he doesn't flap like a maniac.
But he came in, he got that bird,
and he had that bird out of the house
within less than five minutes.
And I was like, that's built a lot of goodwill
and a lot of, you know, he's built himself
a good bank of...
Yeah, he's banked a little, a good will.
Yeah, yeah.
So, what y'all subsequently?
No, did you let it go,
or did it really go into your lunch box?
Yes. Ha, I'll get him.
Now I did over here you saying there's certain, like if Waltz had called him, he's like
there's a raccoon or an opossum.
You're not going?
Yeah, no, you're not going.
No, they're too big, yeah.
But you will show up before a mouse or a raccoon?
Yeah, a mouse, yeah.
Like mouse rabbits are easy to catch.
Well, why couldn't you just like show a raccoon out?
Like you don't have to pick up.
Oh, I'll catch.
I chase it. I'm not gonna go
I'd hate to see that
Like rocky chasing the chicken. Yeah
No, we had it at the farm the other day. It was big you'd raccoon
I chased it up a tree because it was like in my way
Maybe it in your way. I was I was trying to go out to feed the horses and there's just big raccoon just sitting in the middle though walkway
Because I have a time of the day. There's nights at my headlamp on
I've gotta say chase at a raccoon in the middle of the walkway because I had my time of the day. There's nights at my headlamp on.
I've got to say, she's an arachid and they'll end the day.
Get them to that long for the world.
So I just started yelling at it and it ran up a tree.
I don't know, there's something that I take pride in.
That like, you would call me for a problem with a human being. You call him for a problem with
Ferman. Yeah, he goes, how can we even call Brian?
Brian is not the one to handle this. You're the only man on my fucking phone that I like,
there was not even a second hesitation who I call in this instance. Yeah. Yeah, it's not Brian Johnson. It's not Jeff. Right.
It's, it's, it's not Mike.
It's because I handed the phone off to Mike.
Mike, Mike, as you flip back, you've got to go to
Walt's house.
Oh, did you do it?
What do you do?
Like I said, now you like said, you've earned yourself
a good chunk of goodwill like today.
Didn't say much to you, right?
Did I know?
Right?
Yeah. Was he fucking up?
Oh, I sat down for like five minutes.
Oh, really?
I didn't say anything.
I didn't say anything good.
Well, what a guy.
Five minutes off his feet.
I'm like, I'm glad it's time to go to bird out of my house.
Tomorrow is a whole different story.
Oh, believe me, it's all good.
Like, I put my head on the pillow tonight. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that.
I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. I'm not going to be able to do that. So like there was no way a bird to get in there. My wife says it's cap too. So and she said that
after the last bird got in we had something go up there and make sure that it puts on like a mesh wire. Yeah, there's usually like a squirrel guard or something and apparently that didn't work. I don't
even know how I got out of the stove. You learn to open the door. It's a smart bird. Yeah, the door
the door was an open. When I heard it I looked over at the stove and I was like well the door the door was an open not that I said when I when I heard it I looked over at the stove
And I was like well the doors locked to get out
Did you actually go over close to investigated?
Well, I figure how can a bird open a steel-cast door?
It's a crafty bird got into the got into the stove to begin with that again
You thought that puppet was real so
I am a little suspect when it comes to judging birds.
Yeah.
Ones that I, ones that are puppets, I think are real.
Right.
Yeah, kind of look like that, like black vermin.
Yeah.
With that yellow beak.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, man.
There's eyes.
There's eyes.
There's eyes.
You weren't afraid of unpacking at you.
You just didn't want to touch you at all.
And get a home surprise. I don't didn't use gloves because birds are notoriously like
Dirty likes like diseased and well, you know, I did pick up his lunch today in the way back
I picked up his lunch and he was like he almost ate his slice pizza, but any caught himself
I think you know what I should wash my hands probably I probably should oh my god
You know, just watch this has before you left the house. That's a stounding
I mean it's bathroom. I want to let him but he just walked right out and got his car Oh my god, you didn't watch this house before you left the house. That's astounding.
I mean, it's bathroom.
I want to let him, but he just walked right out and gotten his car.
He's right across.
He's messed up by the river.
It's just a...
Ha, ha, ha.
He just ran over there and get him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that towel, that was a special towel you said that you used to dry yourself off of
it's raining.
It's like the emergency towel, keep in the truck.
It's a swimmers towel.
Emergency swimmers towel. Emergency swimmers
Fuck is such a thing. I really heard of it. I want to try something I'm not sure how great this is gonna work, but I'm gonna go on Twitter and
I'm going to put I got a Skype phone number and we're gonna have people Skype in and
for advice
Skype in and for advice. So we got three of us and we may have alternate viewpoints on somebody's predicament.
You see now, you know, when the show first started, when the show or the podcast first started,
I think it was much more willing to offer opinions.
I was an opinion at asshole.
Right.
For me, that's never changed.
So.
But I feel that now I'm much more reluctant
to offer my opinion where.
I thought woke people had the most fucking opinions.
Nobody has more opinions than a fucking left leaning liberal.
You're supposed to be telling people how to be woke
to shove them down people's throats. I'm a different kind of woke. I'm even more advanced than the some of these
some of these people. You're like the Tom Cruise of the world. Yeah, yeah, I get I get special
one-on-one meetings with the head of the George Soros. George Soros, huh?
with George Soros, huh? So where are you protesting today?
I'm very, very, very reluctant to inject my mindset onto somebody else's problems.
I feel that's a little arrogant, but if they don't tweet this, but if they specifically
ask for me, right?
Consider it. Okay. I'm curious to see what Kim has to say me too. His view point. I'm horrible my own life
But I think I can speak to other people. Yeah, I'm the same way. Yeah, I'm gonna say you but that's where both of you guys seem to think that you have the
The ability to help other people's, but you
feel you're full sure when it's your own.
Oh, I know.
Why do you think that is though?
No.
Why are you so, why is it so easy to see?
Because you can step back.
I think you're looking at, it's tougher to step back from your own life and your own
body and take a look at your situation versus being able to see for me.
Not for me.
Because I'm not woke.
You've suddenly become the puppet guy of advice for me.
But yeah, it was at least you feel the same way, Brian, that you feel it's a lot easier
to see other people.
It's so clear.
It's so clear as to see other people's, it's so clear, it's so,
it's so clear as to what they should do.
But yeah, and when it comes to you,
it's the picture's not as rosy and as clear.
What's different is, I still know what I should
and shouldn't do, but I will still,
you can't implement it.
I can't fight my nature in certain situations.
I will do self-destructive shit,
even though I know I shouldn't do it.
I'll put up with certain things,
even though I'm like, why am I putting up with this?
That kind of shit.
I think you nailed it yesterday.
When you said I have an excuse for almost everything,
for everything that I do.
Oh, I agree with him with that.
Not you, I'm sorry.
No, with Gidham.
Gidham has an excuse, and I'm not saying it a bad way
Yeah, like I said I
I
Today, I think I know that you don't take accountability. He was asking me why I drink. Yeah, no, no, I was saying
Why do you need the drinking? Should I say it? I drink I drink three to four 12 boys a night, which is almost a gallon
That's almost a gallon of beer. Yes 25 ounce cans
Yeah, you when we went to the we went to the impractical jokers,
the nitro circus then, I didn't notice it,
and he didn't seem that drunk,
but they said he drank like 12 beers or something.
How many?
13th.
But he has, I mean,
he has built up an extremely high tolerance to beer.
I would think like he's,
I think for him,
especially like it was like Miller light,
you know, Miller light but light was,
does it have less alcohol in it or something? Yeah, then like the ice, ice has more. But it seems like every, like it was like Miller light. Yeah, I'm not like Bud Light. It was does it have less alcohol I mean, I think ice ice has more
But it seems like every like I was trying to say why don't you just do this? Why don't you just start going like instead of a like drink a gallon tonight
Go ahead
And then and then over the course of a week knock it down to
3-4 so a gallon and then the next week knock it down to half quarters of a gallon. And then the next week, not get down to half a gallon.
And he had so many excuses why that's,
this was not gonna be possible.
You know, I mean, the biggest reason is like,
I'm an alcoholic.
But he's like, what?
That is like,
I'm like,
you're trying not alcoholic beer.
I'm like, it's, it's not for the taste.
You don't love the taste of it.
Yeah.
It helps you go to sleep.
So this is these, this is the group of people that will be fixing your
problem, that will be fixing your life. Right. Okay. I'm sure people most
people want cues advice. I mean, because that's the fucking dude who
fucking who fucking nailed it? Q. Yeah.
He didn't nail it for quite a long time though.
He was a very unhappy guy for many, many years.
Well, that's why he's able to, he's like, I've been, you can say, I've been where you've
been.
I see.
And I find the mountain, I've got to the summit and here's how you do it.
To follow Q, if Q were to be like, just follow the path that I had, it would be, like, would
be derelict and he'd be an asshole to say it.
Well, I mean, that's the catch of that happening.
Well, I'm talking about, yeah, but I'm not talking about,
well, I don't think everybody who's going to ask about problems are going to be like,
well, their problems are, I want to be on TV.
I'm talking about you can use them.
You can use examples and metaphors and situations to apply to whatever your problems are.
Right.
Okay, so I'm going to tweak this with the caveat that it might not work.
Do you hear that noise?
Get them?
What is that?
That's people trying to call, bro.
That's other people trying to call.
Yeah.
How the fuck?
Hey, do you know how to stop the other people like that sound?
But it's going to go in the other line. Now we're now we're asking him for advice.
Yeah, what's your name? Oh, myself. Oh, no, I'm not sure.
I just, I don't know. It worked. All right. All right. We don't hear the sound anymore.
All right. You're here with Gidham and Bri and Wal and we're going to solve everybody's problems
tonight with a new television.
Everybody's always slime, yeah.
So what's your point? What could we help you with?
Well, I just finally,
after months of trying, got into it. That is because
it's various reasons and
you know, the insurances that don't cover everybody.
And I was told that
that's a little work that I had done recently that they're like oh you're
doing so good for so many years. A few months later now I'm looking at two additional rich house. And what do you
think is the quickest way for me to make $3200? The quickest way to make $3200? Well, so some of the stuff. Yeah, get them. You still haven't hit
$3200. Oh, no. I'm sorry, even with Obamacare and everything, you can't get
coverage for this. I'm on the California version of Obamacare and they
don't call the root channels. Oh, okay. Isn't one of the aruchenoma, those
like medically necessary
things, other words you're in agonizing pain? Because you're moving the root and everything,
so it's yeah. Yeah, you would think. And they don't take them at the time. They don't
let you do it and then let you pay on time. Oh, they'll say payments, but the payments
are way outside of what someone might's going to be reported this time.
Oh, so what are they going to do?
Put the roots back in?
No, get them.
For real.
What does he do?
Come on.
You have a lot of experience with that.
Yeah, and how many things that you could possibly sell?
Any comic books or?
Are you saying sell some stuff to the stash?
Or not just to the stash, anywhere else,
like the flea market ebay that kind of deal
most of my collectible the DVDs that's nothing that I did is
I retail mostly selling books and games the people that retail outlets
and various locations. Is there possible to pick up another a second job?
okay and there is location is impossible to pick up another a second job all of your three job at this point are job okay that's a lamp that's to work in
two jobs while that sucks have you tried something like go fun me
no fuck that he's yeah it's just in a sea of people that are like hey I need I need
help here's what you do my my my ex-girlfriend, same exact thing actually.
She had a kneaded root canal, it was like $2,000.
She worked at Domino's and delivered pizza for like six months.
She was able to make $2,000 and then she quit.
That was it.
Boom in and out.
And then you're the fucking man.
Then later on in life, you're like,
you've got three jobs.
You're like, no, he's got two jobs so far. Then later on in life,'re like you're like no it's got two jobs so far
And then later on in life you're like hey man when I was younger I had to fucking work three jobs
So I don't want to hear any of your belly ache and like when the younger generation starts fucking acting like post-season shit about whatever it is
They're doing
You're like my teeth are killing me. I had to go fucking put on some tight dickies go over to Domino's and
Make an asshole on myself for a little while
But that's just the way it is. That's what I would suggest for it like because you want cash that you don't have to declare right well
You want to avoid the tax man?
Preferably. Yeah. Yeah
It's hard to do that. That's what that's what my third job is. It's only very
The spring because you know
We can really work it's really look our gonna run us on there because you know we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we we the run of songs there. Ah, this is the way we're going to study other blanks. Okay, that's what you do. You go get a shitty job. You don't want to do that. You can make
a bunch of money fairly quickly or there are some places I know like student dentists,
right? You can get on a list for student dentists. Look at the dental college or something
like that. Yeah, like a university hospital and Yeah, a university hospital and then you get on a list
and they may help you out.
And New Jersey, it's like UMD and J up in North Jersey.
Yeah.
That would be our advice.
You okay with that, Walt?
It sounds like good advice.
All right.
Walt agrees.
All right, well good luck with those root canals.
All right, thank you so much, Dave.
Thank you.
Keep being you and helping all the ants those are those root canals. Hey, thank you so much for keeping you
and helping all the ants get through the nonsense
that they gotta get through.
We will.
Take it easy.
Thank you.
That's talking our kid.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you have an interesting problem?
Can't be any boring problems.
Are you a dentist?
Yeah, you're not a dentist, are you?
No, I'm a lineman.
A lineman? Oh, lineman a lineman. A lineman?
The Wichita lineman? Yeah
The Wichita lineman, working on the line. Yeah
That's that's one of the most that's that's probably the saddest song in the history of recorded music
It's not kind of the life you kind of lead lead as a lineman
You're listening to other people listening to other people's conversations, and now how sad
everyone's life is. I'll tell you what, man, you guys really helped me through a long night. I'm
actually doing this goofy thing where I don't shave until I reach episode 300 again and I started at
one. Wow. And I'm on 179 right now. How long is that beard yet? Pretty big man. I'd say it's at least
Three inches right now definitely not like Brian's though. Okay, so it's not the Johnson levels yet. Okay. Where do you line man at? What's stadium?
I'm in Buffalo, New York
Well, it's good to have you it's good to get a burly beard up right now, right? The winter's coming. Mm-hmm
Oh heck yeah, you know it's nice in the sun too
It really helps to capture from like the
The rays and shit like that. So good. So is that a dangerous job being online?
Yeah, it can be if you're a fucking retard, but I kind of know what I'm doing. So it works out all right
Is that you get a lighter kid or rather easily right?
So it works out all right. Is that you get a let you kid it rather easily, right?
If you're a fucking retard, he just explained it.
This is why Walt doesn't work on the lines.
That's kind of a shock now.
How about now?
Yeah, I mean, basically you just got to be smart enough
to not put two wires together and keep your face
far enough away, and you'll be all right, you know. But yeah, I wanted to ask you also, this is, I don't know, maybe this was on your
radar, or maybe it wasn't, but a while ago, Brian KX did a, just like a mock-up cover of
a four-color demons, 2019 thing. Would you guys see that? I don't recall seeing that. Yeah, I was really off. Or maybe I did. I can't recall.
Right.
2019 let the old Marvel Universe?
Yeah, it was kind of like a riff on the old 2000, because Q always, he was
posted some shit about Punisher 2009, original artwork that he got, and then later Brian put that up, and
it was awesome.
I mean, it was this cool demon that he designed, and he's like walking over Staten Island,
looks like to get to Jersey.
And I just, my brain was going crazy with ideas, and I could only imagine what, you know,
Brian, or you can come up with as far as an
Actual comic and I think you guys have recording this right yeah, we are oh
Awesome
I think you guys could really
Think it would be huge
Well, I'll have to look at look for it. 2099 Brian K
Yeah, Brian XK, Okay. Oh, well, thanks brother
Go have a good one. Thank you. It easy
All right, we need a real problem here so far it's two compliments and a guy who wants to get a root canal appears our listener base
Well, actually, no, that guy had a real problem
What that he wants to know when no none at the witch tell I'm in them talking about the guy to put a root canal appears our listener base well actually I had a real problem
what daddy wants to know when uh no not at the witch tell I'm and I'm talking about the guy to put the root canal that was a root canal is a real problem yeah I don't know that we help
them solve it no that's why like you should have a a bank of stock answers almost anything right
and I should have somebody screening calls to make sure the real problems. Do you have a real problem?
Hello.
Yes, it's Brian and Walton Gittem.
You're being recorded and you better have a good problem.
You're kidding me.
Why would I kid you?
I don't know, it just seems like something you would do.
Nope, you're on Skype and we're recording it.
That's fucking awesome.
The better, baby.
Don't curse.
Yeah.
We're trying to keep this family friendly.
I'm sure that's true.
So we're looking to help people with problems.
So far we got two compliments and a dude who needs a root canal.
Do you have anything better than that?
Would you prefer if I insult you?
No.
We're trying to solve problems.
Come on, man.
Okay. Problem. Um. My job sucks. Well,
it's okay, but the people at my job are super nice, but I get paid nothing. How do I fix that?
What do you do? I'm billing at a government agency. How do you come? So you work in the billing at what kind of agency?
Government agency. Government agency. I don't think I should go any further into it. Do you
have any ideas for scams that she could pull? Sunken your style. All right, so you have a government
job. The pay is not so great. The people no the people are not great
People are awesome. Okay people are awesome. Pays no good. How long you been there?
Um, for years when's the last time you had a race?
Um, we get one every year
But I mean, it's it's 2.5 percent on nothing
So it's is it possible to go in tomorrow and talk to your boss
and be like, given the ultimate?
And be like, there's another company that's interested.
There's another government interest today.
And if, and I have, there's some heat.
Don't make me take this to the private sector.
Yeah, there's definitely some heat.
And if I don't get three percent this year I walk
Well, the unfortunate thing is government agencies are based on tax dollars and taxpayers don't give raises willy-nilly
So you're lucky Quinn isn't here
So what you're saying is that if the new government raises taxes, they're gonna raise so that's why we shouldn't
No, no, that's not what I'm saying at all
no I'm just saying that they don't see government workers get a bad rap a lot of government workers
aren't degraded but there are some of us that are not terrible well that's what you need to go
and confront your boss with tomorrow no no no they use the word confronts no state your case of
that how much good you're doing for the government?
It's not going to matter, right?
It doesn't matter what you say to that boss.
It's like, hey.
No.
It just goes up and down.
And hello, Gidham.
We met a couple weeks back.
I insulted you about the machete carrying.
Oh, OK.
Oh, no.
That doesn't, uh.
Yeah, that could be any number of you.
No. Including the police.
Good, would you suggest a workplace shooting?
Just to stir things up a little.
No, that again would lead to the bad rapid government workers get.
And also there are sheriffs with metal detectors outside of my job,
so I wouldn't get very far.
We'll just print a 3D gun out of a like order's tent.
Yeah, there's worker
I just told you I make no money what makes you think I have the money to print the
True catch 22. It's a total catch 22
Yeah, it seems it's a there's a definitely a pattern going on here is it's like that
People need need higher wages
That's that's that's what that's what the cost is.
So far, two of the real problems, yeah.
People need to make more money.
Yeah, so I make 22 a year, which...
Wow.
It's not really good.
Yeah, it's tough.
22 a year?
Sorry, depending where you live.
Did you go to college?
I went to some college. I
live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, so it's pretty expensive. How many is that your only job
right now? Are you working two jobs, one job? I work at a bookstore part-time.
Okay, so you work in the other person working to jaws and that's two jobs I still know I don't know that's why I hope that you know in 2017 we start to see wages go up
because everybody's everybody's everybody's that's the that's the base of everyone's problem
it's always gonna be there do you have a vehicle oh yeah, yeah. Have you considered Uber?
Get a side rush along.
Yeah, people get Uber or Lyft, you have Lancaster.
I'm sure you can drive the Amish around, right?
Couldn't you do that?
Yeah, I'm sure that gets run plus the drunk.
Is there a college nearby that you can pick up the drunk kids after the bar is closed?
No, you're not asking this for personal reasons.
Sorry, you're kidding.
Or the Gallon and Adi ice drinkers? The bars close you're not asking this for personal reasons are you
Or the natty there are the gallon and atty ice drinkers. Yeah. Yeah, what yeah, we've got a problem for you Get them drinks a gallon of beer a night. That seems extreme. Doesn't it?
Imagine having a gallon of milk in a gallon container. Yeah, like I'd like I like the taste of apple if I drink a gallon of it
Yeah, I could even drink a gallon of water
It's over the course of
six hours four or five hours. Yeah, so it's not all it's not like
Like 11 o'clock a night. He's like, okay, let me down this gallon right I haven't drank the gallon Like how people got through 10,000 steps in. He's like, shit, I'm only a three-fourth snake.
I don't know.
All right, so we have no useful advice for them.
Well, we suck at this.
It sounds like it.
Yeah, we should.
But that's okay.
You guys are all about giving blood.
You can't get, can you solve blood?
I can't solve one more.
Oh, I'm not talking about plasma.
I think it's called plasma.
What? Like a soap. I think it's plasma. What?
Like a soap.
I live with my folks.
I try and save money.
It's just, it's a hard time anyway.
What's your biggest expenditure?
Okay, this is going to sound frivolous.
But I'm paying off an impractical joker's cruise.
Oh, that is frivolous.
Now what do you say while? Call me bitch while please. I love
it when you call people bitch. How old are you? What how old am I? I'm 26. Yeah that I mean you thought
it was going to sound frivolous. You were right. I know that. But I mean, you know what, you're 26.
You don't, I mean, this is the time of your life when you know, you can do this kind of
spending that's not, you know, that's not a necessity. So, you know, just don't beat
yourself up for it, have a good time, and everything will work itself out.
Yeah, pay off the 2016 cruise so you can go on the 2017 cruise.
Can you tell me we're going to close every night?
I'm going on our 2017 cruise, that's the one I'm paying.
Oh, okay.
I'm excited about it, I will be wearing my Tone, do you do shirt?
Oh, okay, you only have one
No, I'm I'm waiting
Sure, you can spend your money
The much not sure it's coming and it's on preorder. I do have advice. I have advice for the crews. Bring some stuff for Brian Q to sign and sell it on eBay.
No, you know what for the crews?
This is practical advice.
I watched Doug Stanhope.
He was almost a walking like liquor bottle.
He had smuggled so much liquor on his purge.
And it was unreal.
Because it's expensive, drugs on that.
Like if you drink, it's expensive.
Oh, yeah, no.
I made a jar for money, so I'm saving in there.
Well, you're going to do a spacewalk, you know, no, I have, I made a jar for money, so I'm saving in there. Well, you're
going to do a spacewalk, you know, right, Bryce? Yeah, Q thinks that we may close every night
because it's fun. So we might just do a show every night where I'm about amazing. Me and
my best friend who's going with me, we love you guys. All right. Okay. All right. Yes.
Well, I think we've helped here. I think you've, you've, it's nothing else. You've made my night getting to talk to you. There you go.
All right. Well, we will see you on the cruise then.
I don't know. Not Walt, because Walt's not a Walt.
No, no, no, Walt. And certainly not get him. I like to use that fucking steered with the rest of the fucking rats.
I want to have a beer with Claw set on the cruise.
Yeah, I know.
All right.
We'll see you later.
All right.
Thanks, guys.
Bye.
Well, that is a testament to how loyal and how amazing listener
base person's only making.
What was it?
22.
22,000 here.
And what?
Like that t-shirt, that mug shot t-shirt. That's like 1% of her of her annual
What
200
It's like a test of a percent
It's a lot if you're making that's a lot and she's still buying the t-shirts
That's that's I think the cruise is probably 1% of her yearly income.
Yeah, she's got to prioritize though.
More T-shirts, less cruises.
Yeah, we're coming out with a whole new winter line
coming January.
I can relate to that though, man,
that like spending money you don't have,
because you're American.
Yeah, because you're like, all of us.
Your life would suck if you only spent the money
that you had.
Right now I want to talk about Audible.
Audible.
Yes, influencer copy.
I like this.
It's new copy and it says influencer copy.
So I guess that means we're influencers.
Yeah, that's for sure.
Yes, audible.com, you know with the deal, they got a bunch of audio books.
30-day free trial membership, audible.com slash T-E-S-D
and browse the unmatched selection of audio programs, download a free title and start
listening. It's that easy. You got one free audiobook a month, 30% off all these other titles. They have lots of content. They've
got apps for all your phones and devices. What kind of titles do they have? What are
you talking about? Well, do they have anything to SD Centric? I believe they do.
Company man. Yeah, I know. I think they have, what do we have on there?
The Fairy Retail Theater?
Oh.
For retail theater.
What's up?
The Fairy Retail.
Fairy Retail.
Fairy Retail.
Fairy Retail.
That would have been better though, right?
Like, Fairy Retail.
And then, Tal, like, retail.
Oh, I kind of got a double punch in there.
I'm not sure the joke.
Like, your retailer.
Whoa. We got Dollar Shave on there.
Small, fistful of dollars.
Oh yeah, Dollar Shave got on there.
Yeah, what are you doing, man?
What do you listen and just talk about,
Audible, when you can go on there?
Sign up and get your free download.
Yep.
Let's see, they have.
Is that 30 days?
Oh, I guess this is something new.
They got a send a book.
You can share books from your library with anyone.
Oh.
Clips.
You know what? Shoptor navigation. I guess they worked on the apps.
But think of this scenario, get them. You're in a long distance relationship, right?
Yes. I guarantee you they got like 50 shades of gray.
Okay. You should download that and share it and then listen to it at the same time.
I'll tell you all of them. Revol, revolve them nasty stuff's going on.
You're both listening to it at the same time.
She thinks he's talking about his underwear.
Or the sheets on his bed.
Would that be intriguing?
We could try that.
Yeah, you do go talk on the phone.
Yeah, face time, that kind of stuff.
Oh, face time. That way you can see stuff yeah well you know you're
seeing stuff you don't need to see anything what audible that's the beauty of
audible it's just the
the wall yeah you push just left the look at you
yeah you could be anyone you could be who's the star 50 shades of gray
uh guy it's gray oh that's his name yeah all right you could be who's the star 50 shades of gray Guides gray. Oh, that's his name. Yeah. All right. You could be gray. Well, no, I think you mean the movie right?
No, I mean the character
Okay, the characters name is great. Yeah, it's is it Christian gray or something? You could be Christian gray
You could be anybody when you're when you're when you're listening to sharing audible with your friends using the audible app. Yeah, yeah
It's a guy named Jamie Dornin would that be something that would that be awkward?
Is it is it still to the relationship still to new to introduce something that risk a
Maybe that's the time to like I'm a saying you do float that out the float that idea out there
But I'm not saying you do anything
Crazy why you're why you're listening it's a gather, but you just listen to it together and just
Whatever happens happens. What are you listening?
What things happen? I don't know
Totally forget this is out FaceTime
This is the circle of hell all over again.
Yeah, it sounds just like that audio.
Yeah.
Try saw that's audible.
Like that into a book.
50 sheets of gittem.
Oh, that's a smart work.
Now what'd she say about that?
What?
Is there any kind, do you get, is it still the relationship still in that phase where you
don't get like, you don't get flack about doing things that maybe, like, she's not at this
page, it's, the relationship isn't that, at that level where she could be like, kind
of poo poo, you doing anything on the show yet.
Is there, or is it still in that new area, right?
Still in that new phase?
Meaning, you might like somebody might like it,
like if you were with somebody who would like for a couple
of years and then she was like, you did what on the podcast?
You simulated jerking off why?
That I don't get it.
I don't like it.
I like it.
I shared that audio that night. Right. I shared the raw audio that night. I
I am not telling you what this is for, but I'm
But so she was she was like, that's great. I think she yeah, but a couple of a couple years in it could change right like
She's like, look, that was then this is now like people know I'm with you
I work in a respectable I work in a respectable, I work in a respectable. Tell me, Dave's in the top 10 podcasts in the country, you know, millions of people are
listening, you know, you got to reign it in.
Do you really believe it?
I think so.
You have four.
I'm crazy.
But, you know, what would you say then?
Would you have to scale it back?
You'd be like, Walt, I can't do the crazy things they asked me to do anymore unless I get clearance. I
Think let me just run it by her
I think you probably tell me to shut up, and you know what funny is you think I would do that I
Have never done that. I have never said you're doing this. I've always said would you like to would you be up for doing this?
I've always oh
To do it just saying you know, it's funny. I know what funny is this guy. I've always said would you like to do? Would you be up for doing this? I've always always. Oh, I'm always saying to do it. Just saying, you know, it's funny. I know what funny is.
I've never said that. That does not sound like something you would say. Hold on. It's something
dry would say. I never said that. Yeah. But if like, if you, I know, I'm saying is I trust you. When
you tell me, you know, something, it's going to be funny. But let's say, or it's going to be entertaining.
It could still be funny, but let's say the Mrs isn Isn't isn't as big a sport as she once was like she's like
You like my dad listens to the show now
So we're gonna hurt you getting married not to me
Could it happen or not you don't think it's headed that way
I don't think it's headed that way. I don't know.
You don't know?
Well at least you're honest though.
You don't know.
I could turn into a person who's discussed me.
Hey man, what do you mean?
What do you mean?
I mean, when you have a significant other, it's about taking in their considerations too, Brian.
I'll be texting her. I'll be, Brian. I'll be texting her.
So you said, I'll do what this, I'll be texting her,
she'll be like, we'll do what this later.
Tell him, Steve Dave is by significant other.
That's who I answered too.
So anyway, yeah, go and get 50 shades of gray from Audible and listen in with your significant
other.
It'll be a hot time.
Very reread.
That won't be quite as hot as a 50 shade degree.
I know, Dollar Shade gets some people hot.
Yep, Audible.com slash T-E-S-D won't you go on there now.
I just want one good problem.
I feel like we save a life for something, you know?
That would be pretty good. I think you were presented with that opportunity and you just glossed
right over it. Which one? The fucking dude who's drinking a gallon of beer tonight.
Yeah, you know, somebody did a call and somebody had to deal with these things.
You're up back at going to the basement. Yeah, that's weird. Get him the fucking gallon
It's like it's like it's like a hundred ounces. It's almost a gallon
All right a hundred ounces. I mean
A hundred ounces actually like when you say it doesn't sound like oh, well, that's not much
Okay, here we go. I hope this is a real problem. Hello.
Hello.
Hey, it's Brian and get him and Walt. Please tell me you have a real problem. We need to we're trying to
We're trying to spend some sage advice here.
Yeah, like
I mean, I got lady problems of course.
Lady problems. Perfect. All right, go on.
problems of course. Lady problems, perfect. All right, go on. Well, I got this girl. She's a bit older than me. She's about eight years older than me. And I'm better and she's kind of talking to this other guy. And I've been talking to her for like two years now. And it's like on and off with him and I, but she's like, wait, so you guys are
hooking up behind her back? No, like, like she's me and the other guy. Yeah, yeah, of course.
But like she, uh, she's with him and then she presents like they're not together. And I
think I'm pretty sure we both know what's going on.
But I think I'm just kind of fooling myself, staying around with it.
Okay.
Lady, eight years older, been seeing each other for two years.
But you're not like exclusively dating, right?
No, I mean, I mean not not really. But she's leading you to believe that this other guy is not
is not a part of the picture and you suspect he probably is? Yeah, more or less, I mean more and more
now I think that she's just kind of like it is what it is deal with it the more that it's been
for a while, but I mean I don't know man, man. I mean, she's also what I'm looking for in a female
aside from that part.
It's pretty big part, right?
Well, she's like, hey, man, I wanna hook up
with other guys, deal with it or don't.
Well, she's not saying that, she's telling us she's not.
No, she's saying that she is, right?
I mean, nothing's really being said at all but i you know this is me
coming to conclusions with all the clues that i have right okay because she's
said you're saying she's sending out mixed messages and signals yeah
what do you think in them uh i am the worst person to give advice when it comes
to women you know what i'm sorry the best advice I can give being married
is just not to talk to her at all and have no contact with her whatsoever except the third
parties. And it's so far we haven't had a fight yet. No, here's here's the nuts and bolts.
I know that works for you. Yeah, that works for you. Here's the nuts and bolts of it.
All right, you want something that she is unwilling or doesn't want to offer.
You will never be happy with this situation and it doesn't look like she's going to change.
So you have to suck it up, say, fuck it and walk away.
You got to walk away.
That's what you had to do.
Otherwise, you're going to be torturing yourself and I get it.
Everything that you want in a female,
there it is, but it's not like,
oh, I prefer Adidas to Nike,
it's, I prefer not seeing only one person at a time.
That's too big of a deal.
And if you're thinking like,
ah, nothing's being said, but I have this feeling,
you're right, gut instinct, you know, nothing's being said, but I have this feeling, you're right.
Got instinct. Yeah.
You're right.
So don't question.
I mean, that's the thing.
Yeah, when I'm with her, it feels nice.
Or when I'm not, it's almost like it's just there.
And I know, but I'm just fooling myself.
Right.
But you're not fooling yourself because you know.
No, I know, but yeah, I'm playing along.
You're no fool, bro.
You know. So that's what I say. I say,
you're, you just say, hey, man, it's been cool, but yeah, I don't move on. Yeah. That's why it is. It sucks.
But yeah, that's the best problem so far, I think. Yeah. Some other guy needing a root canal. This is this is much more human human. Oh, I got a hand of those. Yeah. Are you a dentist? I'm not. I'll don't. All right. So that's
our advice. All right. Well, thanks, fellas. All right. Take it easy. Good luck.
Oh, yeah. Have a good one, guys. You too. You too. Oh, yeah. How how that feel well a Scary
misery the scary that
Because the your you are in a position that people will listen to what you're saying
So you've got a lot of power. You've got to that's good advice though
It was yeah, I believe that I believe that potentially that could be the best advice that it was given to them about it
You know, I don't we don't know though. We really don't know
Well, you know, you don't want to that. This is why this is this is a
Dangerous and tricky
Territory for who I'm just saying it's you know dangerous and tricky
Unstarted territory for who I'm just saying it's you know dangerous and tricky
Yeah, whenever you're whenever you're you know, you don't know the whole situation So you know offering advice on it is always it's you know
How much more do you need to know you don't know that you don't know everything though, so you know you maybe
You know he maybe he goes and does what you sell them to do.
Right.
And he closes the door, maybe he could have worked out.
So you never know.
You never know.
You just don't know.
And then everyone worked out.
Let's see.
Hello.
Hello.
Do you have a real problem?
I do.
Something that needs to be solved by professionals.
Are you ready? Yes, we're ready. Yeah
Okay, so I'm a special education teacher at a school for
Children with extremely special needs
Okay, and I have a bunch of
Ed techs who basically hate me
What's an Ed that's like an assistant?
Yeah.
Why do they hate you?
They choose me of various things.
Today I had a bunch of them telling me
to look them in the eyes when I was staring at them.
It's a telling disrespect. OK, so I'm having trouble. They're EdTax and they don't understand. So, um, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, with Walt. I haven't made eye contact with Walt since 1987.
Yeah, I'm exactly. I try not to make eye contact with him because I think he feels it's
threatening and I get him pretty much charging me.
Is there an HR department? Yes, but they think that like members of leadership, which is
what myself, the other teachers and whatnot, that were the problem. That's always going to come from subordinates, right? Get them? Yeah. The subordinate
will always envy and resent the man on top. Yes. Exactly. Getting to go out for his pizza
and all that other stuff. So, so as, uh, well, you can relate to this the subordinates
not knowing their place
zapsic trying to look in the eyes that kind of shit
what is the boss man doing this situation
there's a mutiny
why are you why are you reluctant to look at my eye though
no i was looking at them walk
all you and you and you were too threatening by looking at them
no they they told me to pay attention to them
and look at them in the eyes when I was staring right at them.
This sounds weird.
Yeah.
This happens, this is a runtime problem
where this happens every day.
Oh no, this person is a consistent problem.
Oh, it's only one person.
No, there's a couple, but I mean I I work with like 15 ed techs and there's a couple better
Thorns in my side do you have hiring and firing abilities? I
Don't
Is Ed tech a derogatory word?
Education like a vet tech and I'll tech. Oh, okay. I thought like yeah like I thought I was like some sort of like you know like you know like you know like like
okay now like I'm the teacher and they're sort of like they work directly with the kids okay for six hours a day and I sort of of come in and do my pieces of it.
And then I get to leave for a little bit.
Come back, do more.
I believe workplace friction, as they call it,
is it's unavoidable at times.
There are no places of employment that are shangrelaws.
Right.
If you love the job you're doing, you have to sometimes put up with people who you feel
or out, I'm not out to get you,
but are not your biggest fan or you may not get along with,
I mean, this has gone back since, you know,
we were painting on cave walls, you know,
people just didn't get along.
I mean, it's always been that way,
it'll always be that way.
So you have to learn to deal with it or move on.
Oh, I would, should she move on?
These are the people that are working for her.
For her?
But she, but they're, I mean,
well, I mean, obviously there's a,
There's a higher on.
There's a personality,
there's a personality thing going on here.
They're not getting alone.
You see it a lot with doctors and nurses.
Like I've known a lot of nurses that will say like,
they know as much as doctors and doctors have egos and all this other shit.
So maybe it's a situation like that where they're like,
oh, just because she has all her, what do you call,
credits?
Credits or, yeah.
Just as like a side, like I started as like an ed tech and worked my way up to be a teacher.
Right.
But maybe these people didn't work there when I was an edtech.
Maybe you can share that story with them, you know,
I say, I'm not asking you to do anything that I haven't done myself in order to get to this position that I'm in today.
And you know, you've got to take an opportunity to learn from everything that you have to do.
Do you listen to Tellum Steve Dave? I listen to Tellum Steve Dave every week.
So you know that even at the stash, there are sometimes major, major conflicts.
Yeah.
Bathroom keys can be taken away at a moment's notice.
So you know that like there's no place out there.
Well, I mean, I'm sure there is. I don't want to say that.
Right.
And I don't want to pay the picture that it's contentious
here at all times because there's a lot of times
where we love each other most of the time.
So, I mean, if you can't, if you don't feel it's that it's ever going to be a job where you're going to have a team or all or everybody around you's going to be happy.
I think it can get back there, but right now it's pretty rough. How could it get back there? Do you know what would you? What, how do you think it can.
How do you think it can? We need, well, we don't have enough ed techs for every student, so it makes it really hard to train everybody.
Right.
So we just need more body.
Where do you can use that just sounds so like ed tech?
Educational technician.
Oh, that's what it means, right?
I thought it was, again, it was some sort of like slang.
Like a slur?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
I said, it's like a bad slur.
It's not a different style.
Well, it's very, it's very touching
on that he's woke.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's pretty good advice.
I like it.
I used it when I worked in the customer service desk
at the food store and I had cashiers below me
and sometimes they would give me like, you know, flack like, oh, you know, why are you asking me to us get the food store and I had cashiers below me and sometimes they would give me like, you know,
flat like, oh, you know, why are you asking me
to go get bags?
I'm like, look, I said when I was a cashier,
I used to get bags and said,
I'm not asking you to do anything that I haven't done.
But, correct, then you're good at it.
So you go fucking get a mess, whole.
That's what I mean, go watch, show.
Now, if Gidams Advice doesn't work, I say,
now, sage has Down syndrome.
One of the characteristics is a very strong upper body.
Like she's like, like built like a little bulldog.
I say you assemble a team of Down syndrome kids
like the expendables of Down syndrome kids
and get them to attack the ed text
that you don't like to come out.
I don't work with kids that have Down syndrome.
Unfortunately most of the kids that I work with have
lots of them, but they're still pretty tough.
Oh, yeah, yeah, we can be tough.
Yeah.
Yeah,
to
the much much to the much to the much to the shock of the real world
who does the thing that we can be tough.
We can be tough.
Yeah, the Down syndrome kids like that's all we had.
And now the autistic is trying to take it away from us.
Yeah, you want to upper body?
You go with a Down syndrome kid.
That's the way you do it, man.
She just fucking takes Down syndrome kids.
She takes Down syndrome kids.
She's like, I need nothing.
It's fucking so funny to watch.
All right, well, I hope that helped.
Thank you, boys.
Have a great night.
You too, sweetheart.
You too. All right, that is, I didn't do it. I didn't do it.
I didn't do it. Spewing knowledge. I know. That was good. Get him.
I think that was pretty good. You got one more in you?
I think I, well, yeah. We could go all night.
Or until Waltsake, we're getting the fuck out of here.
We're getting too good at this, man.
We're not going to matter the fucking park. A little slow but of a slow start.
Needed some. This is just how Dr. Phil feels. Need some meat.
Yeah. For teeth and toe.
Yeah. So far the the girlfriend problem was the best one.
That was a joke. I thought you're not going to talk about the Rookanell meat to sink your teeth
into. Yeah. Oh yeah. Now I didn't get that call for a long forgotten.
Yeah, oh yeah, no I didn't get that call for gone
It has to suck to some of these advices like we'll get a fair job
I mean try to get the television show
I didn't I'm employed Fuck it no job at all you got to hit the concert that's where you make your money
Hello I just fuck it. No job at all. You got to hit the concert. That's where you make your money. Hello
Hello, you're the last caller for the for the night. So this better be a good problem. Oh shit. Now I got a lot to live up to here
Hey, bro, I don't know if you remember me. It's Brody Man from Stanley's Comic-Con. Oh, it's broody man from stanley's comic-con well it's going on you got lots of problems okay
uh...
uh...
and a ranger
uh... shit
really bad
yeah it's actually gonna sound like a a real nerdy problem on the surface
but it's a legit okay that's okay where you get we got a couple nerds at the
table
that's why the nerdy
he's like being f foundled me at a
alright well actually uh... this might be the kind of aimed at wall it's
i know he's helped and he'd get to something like this before
okay but i i used to be a big time comic book reader and i left that shit
behind about six years ago when my boy was born
uh... when this whole rebirts being started i started buying books again
and i'm at about a seventy dollar a week have it
and i'm trying to keep it a secret from my girlfriend and
from the family because it's turning into a real debt kind of problem for me
it all are we do i do
alright brody man first off are we really talking about comics are we talking
about crack
no
ice i i think we can't wait to talk about com crack. I say I say we get with this guy he's talking about comics. I say we're
really talking about a comic addiction here that you're trying to hide from the
from the misses. Yeah yeah I mean it's it captured me like like I'm a little kid
all the fuck over again but I'm just buying anything and everything that's
coming out it's crazy. Are you reading him all? That's the thing, maybe in the last three weeks,
I haven't been able to keep up with what I've been buying. And that's when it starts to fall apart.
If you can't keep up, and how are you reading them on the slide? Where are you keeping them from,
you know, from the girl? It's funny at my work, I have a pretty big cubicle. So it's kind of turning in like a comic book depository over here
Now it's even spilling over into your work, huh?
Yeah
Um, how where you buying your comic books from? Shut up asshole. He's asking what
Well, if he's on a pole if he's on he's he's buying it from place and up here. You're gonna get out from a discount from here
I'm buying it for my local comic shot.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, you had to scale back.
I remember when you were when you got engaged and you plan on getting married,
while I had to start cutting titles.
I did.
And to me, it seemed like it would be easy because you're like, here's five titles that I've
collected for five years.
I haven't read one issue, but you have to you have to complete that run.
It's the yeah, the the horrible collectible mentality.
There's got to be, you know, you can't, what could you afford?
What could you go home with tonight and tell your lady, I'm going to spend this amount
of money on comics a week.
What is the amount that you could tell her and she'd be like, okay, hey, you're into
it.
You know, it then makes you happy.
Great.
Go for it.
What's the amount you could tell her to?
I feel like the safe zone would be about 20 bucks.
20 bucks.
And just because we're supposed to be on a budget, we're saving up for different things.
And if I went any more than that, it seem like I like I've just gone overboard with
this thing which I feel I probably already have and you don't think that
there you don't think you could swing it doing $20 a week
and still get your fill and still get your fix well that's that you know you
know the rabbit
hole you fall down with the thing, it's like one thing leads to another. If you want
to finish the story arc, you got to check out this book and before you know, like you're
buying 16 books a week. Yeah, well, you, I mean, that's where you got to be. You've got
to keep a strict. And, you know, you got to remain, you got to have some discipline.
That's the key.
You got to, if you can't do it and keep a disciplined budget to it,
then you're, it ain't going to work then.
Gotcha.
Would you, I mean, I would take the three best titles.
I would stick to the 10 titles you like the most
and stick with them and see how it goes, well, right there.
You know, go slow.
Yeah.
All right.
I think I'm going to try that.
I'm going to try to narrow it down to about 10 titles.
How old you kid?
My boy, he's going to be seven on Christmas.
I always born on Christmas, huh?
Yeah.
He's a Christmas baby.
Oh, that's nice.
If you saw Brody, man, you would be like, I would not have pegged you for a day
over like 19.
Oh, yeah. He looks young. Yeah, he looks really young.
Oh, fuck man, that's awesome.
Thank you for saying that.
Now, no, what would you suggest?
The title he cuts back on, maybe investing in the trade paperbacks, if he really likes
the story?
Well, the root canal goes back on the line. That's obvious.
I don't even know if I don't even know if trade paperbacks are the answer here.
I think I think keeping to a strict budget and being disciplined enough to stick with it is the way to go.
And don't keep secrets.
Don't spend money that you know that you should be putting aside for
something else because in the grand scheme of things in five years from now
you're not gonna get the rebirth will be over and the DCB doing something else
and you'll be like why did I buy these books? Why are you mad at us in the wall?
You know I mean I really believe that that taking for somebody who's been buying books for a long time, who did buy books for a long time.
Only certain few are always going to be like remembered fondly, and the rest is all just a blur of
like, why did I buy that? True story. You know, I mean, it looks like you already had to do it.
Okay, man, and tell your boy,
Merry Christmas from Tellum's to you.
I will.
I will.
All right, we'll see you later, bro.
Thank you so much.
Okay, thank you.
I think later, I think that last call was definitely
the call that was needed.
Something, a vital important, something that like everybody
can identify with.
Yeah, right, exactly. That's why I'm taking this call
I kind of took inspiration from it because I you know who's online
I was doing we're doing alright what's your problem is it major is it as big as
should I buy a comic oh no I know I should I'm too broke for that shit. Come on now
BQ was on Marvel podcast. He's supposed to be talking about OG spider-man
2009
That's what people want to talk about brother. This is that I said comics. It should be yeah, let me went to my comics
This is not ice hot comics. It should be.
Yeah.
Let me went to my comics.
How do you want to do a comics college?
Show what?
No.
No.
All right, we might have had to go out on that other one then
because I don't know what this guy's talking about.
OG Spider-Man nonsense.
Oh, well, let's give him the heads up about the Christmas pod
and drop him next week.
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.
The Christmas pod, which we recorded the other day Sunday we got some big
guests on there. Are we announcing guests? And we're not even being like
facetious. Like we're not joking. It's not like Gennem is the big guest. Although
he's there. You don't want anybody to not buy it just because they're like all
Gennem's not there. But like let's make let's just let's just make sure that's
not the problem I'm worried about. Let's just make sure we get those people at least the people who who who may not who are only gonna buy it if get him is on it
Okay, so let's just let's just let's just put their fears to rest. I am I am there here. Yes
There is I
I'm reluctant to say who the guests are because I don't think it's fair to try to sell it on the backs of
These Titans right these Titans of rock and roll and impractical jokes
That's shitty
All right, I could cut that out
I could leave don't cut it because I definitely drive people, especially enough first 24 hours.
Leave that shit in.
No, people.
But, you know, there's guests, there's a, there's heart for the first time in six years.
There's actually a heart at the table.
And I was eating it.
It's a turkey heart.
Yeah.
I brought it with me.
I brought paperback.
No, there's actually, there's actually turkey heart. Yeah, I brought it with me. Brown paper bag.
No, there's actually, there's actually old-fashioned Christmas heart where like we, we save
Christmas for somebody who...
Oh yeah.
Okay, now I know what you're talking about.
Yes. We, like for the first time at the table,
it's not about like the stakes aren't,
somebody's getting a tattoo, or,
someone's getting baptized.
Or someone's getting baptized,
or someone is just, you know,
there's a little,
It's not about humiliating someone.
Yeah, this one's about like, you know,
everything we do is going towards a greater good for just to help someone who is
had a rough year and
Is a need the season isn't it isn't need the season of a little bit of extra and we try to
We try to help them out in the season of giving we we try to
Live up to that standard of giving. In our own special way. I mean, this sounds like something that like, you know, was scripted
to get them the way you're saying it. I mean, that's beautiful. It's coming from the
heart. Yeah, between bites of turkey hearties.
Four hours.
Yeah, I cut it.
And if you're worried about getting them
inserting himself too much, believe me, I took care of it.
Yeah, it's almost four hours long.
Actually, once we had the music and all that,
it might be a little, probably right around four hours.
The longest one yet I believe.
I don't know, perfect for that,
during that travel time when you're,
let's just say, you watch the Yulog
and listen to some tones.
So on Thanksgiving at midnight,
go to Bandcamp, go to TSD Xmas I believe,
or can you type in TSDMIS and see if that takes you to our bandcamp page?
Yep, yep, so go to TESD X
M-A-S dot com and on Thanksgiving at midnight and I
Think it's safe to say we
We bring Christmas back in a way
That will have people forgetting all about the previous years Christmas episode. Yeah, it's this you'll we'll be forgiven
I guess you know like and if
You know, that's what it's all about ask him for forgiveness and 499. Yep
that's what it's all about asking for forgiveness and 4.99. Yep.
That's only two things.
That's not a lot to ask for.
Yeah.
It's a dollar an hour and it's going to a good cause.
That's it. You're done on Christmas.
That was it.
That was it for Christmas.
It's gonna drop on Black Friday.
It's every night.
You get another month.
I wouldn't know the week, I mean.
Yeah, this is it.
This will be the last time you get to Pimpit.
No, you can.
Pimpit next week, can't you?
I don't know if anybody's gonna be around. I don't know if we'll do a show
This is it. I'll be here. So next week next week
You know that's the way you should be celebrating Christmas
with us
Like we have for the past six years and how we're gonna do it for the next six years and the next six years after that
So celebrating black Friday in Christmas, right? Because it's dropping on Black Friday.
Yeah, midnight on Thanksgiving, which is officially...
Yeah, I'm just saying, is it okay?
Do you do any Black Friday again?
I used to, it doesn't, the sales aren't that good anymore, you know?
No.
I mean, the sales of stuff that I'm looking for,
it's like, you know, mostly TVs and stuff
that I'm not really interested in buying.
But like, you know, it used to be like, you get like a good like GPS or something or, you know mostly TVs and stuff that I'm not really interested in buying Mm-hmm, but like you know used to be like you get like a good like GPS or something or you know
Target had good clothes on
Flag Friday, so I would I'd go out like instead go into the flea market. I would go to the black Friday sales
Not this year though. You're not gonna do it
You know what I'd stay home
What you don't want you need to stay home on on
Black Friday on Thanksgiving at midnight
You're not gonna have them here
Download the download the Tom Steve Dave and relive it. You know you were there relive it because you know
You missed out on some things obviously. Yeah, you weren't there for everything. No, no, I wasn't gonna go after all. Yeah, so you
And enjoy Christmas like
Like we used to. What is human being?
Tell them to see Dave Xmas.com.
Go there now.
Yes, the Xmas.
Just wait.
We should have a clock going right now.
Count down time.
Count down time.
Can you do that again?
Can you do that again?
What?
Tell them to see Dave.com?
No. Just tell them to if they've got come.
No, so tell them see if they've got come
reverse to.
I'm on TSD.
X was can you put it that goes straight to I know
can't you can't you get in and do something on
band can't and turn it the entire front page of
band camp into a countdown clock.
I don't have a bank.
You took over the band camp website.
Maybe can we do it on Twitter? Can we take website. Maybe can we do it on Twitter?
Can we take either domain?
Can we do it on Twitter, then?
Can we have like a create a new account,
a countdown clock that just tweets every minute?
You get a notification on your phone every minute
and it's so black Friday.
Come on, let's make this special.
I know, you're sitting there
and you're fucking rested on your laurels.
Oh, and BQs on the Christmas episode.
Yeah.
Cause I don't know if people are afraid that he wasn't on this one.
He may not be on it.
He was on it.
BQs definitely on it.
BQs definitely on it.
But this is the kind of Christmas that you'll when, when we're old.
And well, I'll tell you about when we're really old.
Like when the listeners are old too.
And they look back and their grandkids go like grandpa grandma how did you spend Christmas? Tell me
spent it listening to four middle-aged men prank call Wal-Martza.
Asking about Santa Claus. You tell me you listen to middle-aged men.
Get baptized. Try to figure out the most difficult game on Earth. Yeah, there's plenty on there.
Movement watches, MVMT, founded on the belief that styles shouldn't break the bank,
philosophy that get them you obviously share with them. Yes. But this is their goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering
high quality minimalist priced products at revolutionary prices. So they've solidified
themselves as the world's fastest growing watch company. I cannot believe the box that
the watch comes in. It's pretty fancy,? The box alone I was just like this is
got to be a thousand dollar watch and it wasn't though when I looked it up. No such a sweet ass box.
The box alone you get you get this for someone and if they don't look it up and try to find out
how much it costs they're gonna be like wow here she spent a fucking ass load of money on this watch.
like wow he or she spent a fucking slow to money on this watch the box alone is
you can just give them the box yeah and they would be they would be impressed uh... they started just ninety five dollars would you buy ninety five dollar watch
there get up the one i got seventy five so you guys
probably go a little higher than by that though uh... seventy five
seven eight years ago.
But I'm looking for something fashionable.
I'll spend a little more.
This is, you know, it's a long time.
When is the last time you've bought something fashionable?
I don't mean it a bit, because I couldn't tell you
when I have, but.
I mean, in a mystified way.
But when's the last time you went out
and I'm buying myself something fashionable today?
Uh, what goes that with that? I didn't find anything in the trash. I need to go out and buy
something, but I said it probably was a watch I bought last. It was a black like the shiny black. I
think it might have been fossil or saco. Okay. Fossil, so what like 1994? Fossil, so what, like 1994? Well, I know. Fossil still makes watches.
I know they do, but.
I thought for sure you were gonna say,
the boots, the boots say,
the boot purchase last week
wasn't, wouldn't be considered a fashionable purchase.
Oh, it was you tell, Taran.
Yeah, I was gonna say, he got him at Walmart.
And then, like, did you price check
three different Wal-Mart's?
No, no, no, I went to three different.
No, I went to three different Wal-Mart's
because two of them didn't have my sizes.
Oh, okay.
So they didn't have either 10 and a half or 11.
Alright.
Yeah, I don't think most people go to Walmart when they're like,
they're going to buy myself something fashionable today.
These watches though, I mean, all kids inside though,
they would make a nice present for somebody for the holidays.
Yeah, and for that special someone.
They look good, they're not got expensive.
15% off today with free shipping and free
returns by going to mvmtwatches.com slash T-E-S-D. It says call to action must read. This watch
has a really clean design. Seriously, I've been getting compliments every since I put it on.
are really clean designed. Seriously, I've been getting compliments every since I put it on.
Okay. Now is the time to step up your watch game. All right, get them. Okay. I guess I'm I'm willing to step up my game a little.
Maybe you're lady, right? You're lady, friend.
She's coming after Thanksgiving, right? Uh, supposedly, yes.
How impressed would she be if you showed up to pick her up at the airport with a movement watch on
Think she'd be a surprise by showed up at all the picker up at the airport, but
Why you're not gonna go get you're not gonna pick her up. No, you're just gonna have her just fucking. Oh, she's gonna get down here
She takes the fucking train dude if you have her take in the train. No, she's driving car. She's driving down. Yeah
taken the train. No, he's driving. He's driving.
Yeah.
I mean, it's better than picking up in that piece of shit truck with fucking hay bells
and so it cups. And his fucking pool towel.
Yeah, his fucking dirty pool towel. They found in a high school dumpster.
Why are you so obsessed with things from the pool? The pool noodle, the pool towel.
I'm not obsessed with that. Right? Do you have a pool obsession?
No, why would I be obsessed with you?
He has a high school obsession though. He's constantly like I found this in the high school dumpster.
Found this in the high school dumpster. Yeah, why are you always at the dumpster? I just, you know,
I've said, you know, try to like...
Sometimes I go for a while so that's I feel like going for walk. I just think Ralph crammed in
The greatest answer is no answer
He just I guess I've got no rational way to express why the fuck I would be in a dumpster
You know you take a walk around you know you take a walk around the school and he
The dumpsters right there. It's about eye-. We'll see you just cut a peak in how now I walk past a dumpster for the last
Not like dumpster dumpster 18 years of my life
I've walked past a dumpster every day my life to come into the store
Yeah, I don't think more than once I've ever looked inside of it to see what was inside of it
The one time I did was because I was like, what the fuck is that smell in my throat?
And I threw my phone in there.
Oh, no, yeah.
I was gonna say, that was the second time
you looked in to see if Ming was getting a phone.
Yeah.
No, it's a 30-yard container.
It's not a dumpster dumpster like that.
It's not a hit.
And you've been known to hit the lottery there before?
Yes.
Yeah.
He says it like, yes, like yes, I have hit the lottery there.
Yeah, the jackpot. It came up. What is it like yes, like yes, I have it the lottery. Yeah the jackpot it came up
What is it like the cherries or what one time I found a pool tape a pool towel. Yeah, I caught a bird with it
Yeah, so move them watch it. Yeah bring it bring it watch a bring our movement watch man sweet price
Go to MVMTes.com slash TSD
That's it that's it for movement you're gonna I'm sorry gonna get some fucking some sweet shit there did your
Did your lady pick up the vinyl guest?
I mean you are on the cover. Believe she did.
How could she not?
How could I mean her man is fucking on that?
I'll tell you how, because she's like,
you don't get me one.
Oh, I, yeah.
I think you get one for me.
Yeah.
I know you did it.
I'm a sinner.
That in her mind, she's like, no.
I've got one for free.
I've got time over it.
But you're like, like, she free. I'm over
But you're like like a big man at the cracker factory. She's got a look at that and be like oh my god. That's that's like
That's huge you're right on your I mean you're way bigger than me and Brian that and
And painted in a much better light. Yes, salivating over it.
They can beat you in stout toes when the rot up his ass coming out as a mouth.
Literally drool dripping from my tongue.
Yeah, they're in, like, if she had to bet her life,
it's like, well, you got a complimentary copy, right?
She would, she would be dead right now,
because there's no fucking way in a
millionaire she would imagine.
I wouldn't get a comp. Well, I compensated everybody on that appeared on that
vinyl cast. So if they choose to use the compensation I gave them to buy a
vinyl cast, I would think that you choose how
you want to use the conversation.
Right.
That's how I did it.
Okay, yeah, I mean, I know that's how you did it.
Well, you don't know if she even listened to it, you don't even know if she got one.
Do you guys all talk about TSD at all?
Yeah, I don't know.
Is there any pillow talk with TSD?
No, no.
No, no.
In my mind, I just hope she like every time they talk, like that's all she wants to talk
about.
Remember on that episode, really live.
There's no tell of Steve Dave Pinto talk.
It never comes up.
So no.
Like, how could it not?
It's like the whole for like, ship is for is based off, tell them, so they've isn't it?
It's like a starting point, but there's other things besides to ESD.
I realize there's other things,
but this is a pretty important thing.
Nothing has important.
Isn't this a pretty important aspect of the relationship?
I don't think so.
Without it, you guys wouldn't be together.
Again, it's a starting point.
It's the impetus.
It's never come up.
The nucleus.
It's never come up.
In the sense of,
you go like, I listen to this,
I thought I like this,
or how did this happen? Or can you give me some insight?
Can you peel the curtain back a little bit?
Maybe she I mean just I'm I'm sharing some things that you know that she found funny, but I don't think she shared them
Without her asking or shared them like I said I shared the the audio from the recording of the the circle of hell
Yeah, but she would have heard it anyway on the episode.
Yeah, but you know, she got to hear it first.
First, yeah.
Before me.
I think I said to you first and then her.
Okay, that's the way it should be.
But like there's no, like, that's it.
It doesn't come up that often though and the course of,
wow, that's a point.
Yeah.
I thought we would factor in a little bit more
prominently.
It's, it is a little, it's a little weird.
Disappointing.
I think you should just bring it up next time.
Like, however you can, she horned it in.
I'm not sure.
You don't know.
You know, you're a little arrogant.
You don't know.
No. She makes, she lists another podcast, doesn't she? I don't, I'm not sure. You don't know. You know, you don't know. You don't know. No.
She listens to the podcast, doesn't she?
I don't, I'm not sure.
If you found out she listens to nice cell comics,
would you report back to us?
I, my feeling is that she listens to the podcast
not on Smodco.
Okay.
That's my, that's why you're reluctant to sell us right now.
I just, okay.
And that wasn't a no.
But if she listens to nice cell comics, you'd be okay with that.
Oh, and I'll take it out.
It wouldn't lower your opinion ever.
Like we need to break up.
Why?
What did I do wrong?
I saw on your phone.
Yeah, you're downloaded, I said.
It was a set on subscription. And that's the
lead of the episodes. My, my, my, here's this you are going to be fucking dead. He is going
to take a fucking out of your ass. I got him something nice today. So what? I got him a pack of nicotine. Duff rebirth. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's hard to tell, there's something strong
When you have to hurt someone, just to feel strong
I just can't see to find the ground underneath me
I can't grab me
On the ground there is dignity I'm starting to feel the pain I'm starting to feel the pain I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain
I'm starting to feel the pain I'm starting to feel the pain I've got no place to go
I'm calding alone
I just can't see to find the ground underneath me I'm ready
I'm ready I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm ready
I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man Path of faith
On the throne
Very thickly deep This has been the production of SmartCo Internet Radio.
Sir, only at smodcast.com.
Tsk!