Tell Em Steve-Dave - #316: Grasshead

Episode Date: December 18, 2016

Walt proves his metaldom at a young age. Bry brings a Christmas tale of abject shittiness. Music: Dug Free Man - Getting Close

Did you ever get that cue? Did you ever get called the genius? No. Tomsteve.com and um some a gotta request blazer glory going in okay what it is tell them Steve Dave hello and welcome to this week's edition of tell them Steve Dave rock and roll daddy how are you doing you've been rockin rolling. Yeah, it was rocking and rolling. When I went up to the big city which I detest. The big city itself are going the trip there. Both.

Being there you detest. I hate being in the city. I hate driving into the city when I have to drive. Like even if somebody drives me into the city, I hate it. I just, yeah, it's something about it just doesn't mix. You can look across the water and see from your house and you can see the city do you hate that? no because i like look how far away it is i don't know why i know i actually do know why it's just it's just awful it's just the the the traffic, the chaos of trying to maneuver amongst the streets. And my GPS is forever

taking me wanting me to turn down one way streets. Well, time to. Yeah, like it says, turn left, you know, here, and I'm likely can't. It's a one way street. I can't turn. So then I'm like, so you're talking to your GPS. So then I'm like, so then I keep hearing the GPS, tell me, root recalculation, root recalculation as I'm driving around and it's like, turn here and I'm like, well I can't turn there either. And then I can't turn down this one because there's so much construction. I can't turn down this one because there's a giant truck and so the next thing you know I'm a mile away from where I was and It's just it's just terrible. I hate it

You know the sacrifices That all that you have to make For the for the kid and You said they're 30 bands. Did you watch all 30? It felt like we did We got there and it starts at seven. We get there about five to six. It's cold. We got to wait out the line. Of course you got to wait and the stretch is all the way around. Right. The city block. We got to pull it and walk flying in card, man. See. We got to do it. And we get in and there's, it is a huge,

I don't know what you call it, I guess a festival of all these bands and there's three different stages in the venue. So all the acts are playing at the same time. So you got to, like, so the people there, you got to pick and choose which band you're gonna watch and certain bands are You know record relegated

To I guess you know they're they're upcoming bands and then there's you know they're on the little shit stage and the the big band was Modern baseball I think that's what it was. I love them. Yeah, me too. I too was just like, I didn't know what it was. But my daughter's there to see Nicole Dallin-Ganger. I think that's how you say a Dalliganger, Dallin-Ganger. She is, Gaga, she's got, she's made her present.

Like she painted this acrylic painting ever. She is, Gaga, she's got, she made her present. Like she painted this acrylic painting over it. Look great. I know that's the like that saying it, but I think she can... You're like, it was almost as good as my Patrick Sunström. Yeah. But I can say, that she can paint better than I can paint.

Like, yeah, she has a better than I can paint. Like, yeah, she has a way. I mean, I know that sounds just like, like my kids, my kids are genius. You know, I like your, you know, I don't remember that. I don't remember that. How? Did you ever get that cute?

Did you ever get called a genius? No. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, But by your parents I meant they had to at least once Even mistakenly talking about a different brother and saying your name But you know, but I can I can say like with no like bravado or like she truly has I think She could do something probably with her art skills.

She's evolving that quickly. But she paints this picture. She also makes this box that has this calligraphy. She writes on the box. It looks like it's printed on the box. It looks like it was professionally printed the box. It looks like it was like professionally printed the box But she did it all by hand She has all these like I mean she's up here. She's out and out like

It's a full blown obsession. Yeah, I think so worry some No, I mean don't I mean come on man look back at my when I was her age I had my kiss posters. I had my kiss shirt, I would write kiss on my hand, on my four fingers, K-I-S-S. She's not doing that. I mean, what your parents must have been thinking,

like do they think, like the band kiss or are you just writing the kiss? Like I wish someone would kiss me No, I had the swastika asses. Sorry. I know. Oh, let's do our trooper as I Know what what the kiss on my hand. Yeah, I'm not looking to kiss any good. I'm not gay on my metal But she's so into it and she and she like I think like a lot of people though do this she's looking for moments too though like she wants she wants like this she wants it's not just enough to go see her. Right. She wants to give her the present, she wants to, um, she wants to have a moment.

Right. And I'm like, you can't expect that to me. Like I'm trying to like, you really shouldn't be expecting this. You really are like, it's hope for it. Don't even hope for it. Oh, you're saying don't want it. I know I'm not saying don't want it. No, that's her meaningless. But like because it's it's so difficult. You know, it's it's a it's a like it says like 30 bands, 20 bands. I don't know how many it was. There's a lot of bands. A lot of people, what is this girl's obligation? The singer. Yeah, I mean, I mean, she performs that, I mean, that's it. And if she happens to like, and if she happens to, if you are able to give her the gift,

and if she does say thank you, and you do get that snap that picture, that should be enough done. But that might not even happen either. Which happened the time that I went with you guys. She was very accessible, not that late, but very accessible. And I guess she was expecting that same kind of level of accessibility. Oh, but it was much more crowded. Well, it was a lot more crowded. I mean, it was jam packed. packed. I had got like I'm she wants to get real close to the stage And you're and you're able to just maneuver every one in the room. You can go a hot real close to the stage if you want so she she was the second act going on the coal-gallon ganger and She so the first act performed

And as soon as they're done she she makes her way, she wants to be right up close. And I was like, go ahead, I mean, you're small enough, get in between there. No one's gonna know what, you know, you'll be able to get right up there. Just, you know, use your, use your size and you're in your pencil thinness to. She, she's slim that one. Nist to she's slim that one. Yeah She's wearing like black stock as it looked like it looked like fucking Jack skeleton making a bigot is way up to To the stage So she's a I'm sitting in the back with against the wall, which is like and the room is very small, so I'm

Not real far away you're writing kiss on your knuckles. And what I think that I'm the oldest person there, you know, from my, from my POV, I don't see anybody nearly as seasoned as I am there. So some guy walks up to me and he goes, is he now your pal? Well, he says that's his wall and he goes, I know you, but he really doesn't know me. He knows, he's seen the show but he doesn't, I don't remember my name though. I've got that before, like, oh my god, I love your show wall. I'm like, oh, it must really. Which is fine. And he goes, this is so cool. You come out for the show.

And he goes, I love your show. You, it's a great show. I'm like, oh, thank you. That's very nice of you. And the band hasn't started yet. So I don't have to scream to talk to him. And, um, and this guy's getting a moment that my daughter was hoping for. And this guy's getting the moment that my daughter was hoping for. Because he's got me, and now he's not paying attention to the to the any of the acts and he's talking about comics and he's talking about Kevin's movies and you know, which is cool whatever. But a certain point is really nothing left to talk about. And he goes goes, so I imagine you're here for modern baseball. And I go, actually, no, I'm actually my daughter's here. I go, I just, I'm just here because she's here. And he goes, Earl, who she wanna see?

I go, oh, the one who's gonna perform, like in the second or two, and he goes, oh really? He goes, what, then you're out of here? And you're leaving? What are you creating? I was like, hell, yeah, I said, yeah, I mean, out of here? And you're leaving? What are you creating? I was like, hell yeah, I said yeah, I mean, if she's ready to go. At this age, do you think I sit around

for modern base ball or something going so? Guy who's clearly here for the round culture. And like, why is it like, I know on the, I mean, I look like I'm there by myself to everybody, but this guy apparently definitely is there by himself because he's like, he has no agenda to like, to move on. And he goes, oh, so you're just gonna, you're just like, as soon as, as soon as the accident, it's like, hey, we're in the car, and we're driving home.

I'm like, yeah, he goes, and he goes, because, I mean, yeah, man, right? Because you're probably like, man, I gotta get home, man, I'm gonna smoke some weed, right? And I'm sending that to you? Yeah, and I go, right? Because you probably like, man, I gotta get home, man. I want to smoke some weed, right? And I'll send it to you. Yeah, and I go, huh? And he goes, I mean, you want to get home soon, so you can chill out and you know, and spark up a drink. Get your smoke on. And I'm like, and then I don't have it.

And I don't have to have it inspired your character on comic book, man. It's all you talk about, right? And I said to him, I go, I go, well, I have to, tonight and after I fucking to ride up here, I said, I'm gonna have to stop on the way home, and get a rock, I go, I go, well, I have to, tonight and after fucking to ride up here, I said, I'm gonna have to stop on the way home and get a rock, I said, because I fucking with it. And his face was like, he didn't get the joke.

And he was like, he had heard something that was like, so stunning to him. Like, I'm gonna call TMZ right now. What's on the crack rock? And I said, I'm a little kid and I said,, I, I could tell by the look of his face, it was in the shock and the silence that he had thought he had heard something like super privy. Right. And I like that the fucking guy, I'm telling the stranger. I got bleached straight, he's like, I wanted a moment, but not a moment in which someone confessed to being a crackhead. He's gonna drive his daughter home.

I just gotta make this stop, Alicia. I gotta see if this guy here is selling any crap. Yeah, somebody's gotta have some fucking rock. Somebody's got it right. I just gotta wrap my lips around that plastic. I'm going crazy over here. I'm gonna do this both not on. I got no crack. I have a lot of GPS. Keep selling me your turn. Topped on flight me all crazy over here. I'm going to be as close as not on. I got no crack. I have a GPS. Keeps telling me to turn. Topped on slightly all the way here. So I go, I go now, man, I'm only fucking way.

I said, I don't, I mean, I don't, actually, I don't do drugs at all. I said, I got a man. That looks like you're over here. I haven't done a drug since fucking Reagan was in office. I said, and he goes, yeah, yeah, right, right. He goes, I got, I need a joint though. He goes, I got, I need a joint bed right now. I go, all right.

Well, I'll see you then. I go, I want to be a spicy television. So the whole thing wasn't like, sort of working his way into like, he obviously has weed with him. So I have no idea. And if you need to join that bed, why wouldn't you bring one? Like, why do you go to a concert and not prepare ahead of time with at least one joint? If you're like, I'm dying for a joint, I need a joint.

I couldn't tell what he was, what connection, like he was like trying to make with this, with this weed connection. And usually he's not not recovered in the arc. Well, that's a thing. But usually I'm like, you know, know, I don't like to talk about it or I don't like to, you know, I don't really ever get into my, I'm very anti-drug, but I really don't like to,

because I realize other people, you know, it's your choice, you do what you wanna do, I don't care, but like me personally. It's not for you. It's not for me at all, I don't have any, and just like, in for my circle around me, like at home, not a chance. No's not for me at all. I don't have any. And just like in for my circle around me like at home Not a chance no crack in the flying in the house. Nothing. I haven't I haven't had a fuck a prescription I was thinking about this after I was talking like I don't think I've had even a medic medicine prescribed to me in almost 20 years

Not even for nothing like the way in a biotics nothing. I don't think so really trying to think back I don't think I I mean maybe when I had a flu Maybe but I'd spend so long since I had the flu. I don't know the last time I was even out of doctor. I Do I get it like four times in the past week That's it. So I'm really I don't I don't do any and I like I understand that like and there's people listen who are like That is their thing but like well that's where I level it out a little bit So so now you also I'm dealing with a kind of a self-image thing now lately with the that I'm a goofy fucktard. So I'm like well just I think I'm cool enough to be

fucking grass head. So you know maybe I'm not maybe I'm not as fucking cool enough to know they don't call them grass heads, but... They don't call them, never. I've never heard that that's literally a first time I, in 49 years, I've heard the word grass head. I mean, so I didn't break out my, I didn't like get super defensive when he implied that I was gonna go drive home and spark up. I didn't like break out my like dude. Like I didn't get law fucking like, what's a call to it?

Oh, like in Dignan. Yeah. I kind of was just, Oh well that was big of you. I'm sure with conversation would have really taken a turn at that point. Well why'd you like here? Like he's what?

If he wants to fucking sit there and force me to have a moment. Right. Then why didn't he get the real meat on? Yeah, it's like he's not, again, like with your daughter. This isn't the moment I expected, but it's the moment. It's still a moment? Yeah, it's the moment I got. I got fucking the male Nancy Reagan in my face. I didn't break it out, but I wouldn't normally.

Like I said, but now coming off a couple of weeks of being some real like, you know, some harsh criticism, maybe, you know, I took it, maybe I'm looking for any kind of like cool any sort of validation. Yeah. Right. I'm surprised you didn't admit to being a grass head that you're like, oh of course I'm gonna spark up one of my some kind of luck to fuck tart I mean clearly you can see I'm not Teaser like this because I spoke too much grass

Well, that inhale his pull of my teeth out so the sheep performs and the guy finally does leave and So the sheeper forms and the guy finally does leave and I get out he was on on the make to I guess locate that elusive joint he needed. Right. And then she performs the girl who my daughter's there to see and the merch table where her merchandise or shirts and CDs, and her vinyl, is this this little card table in the back of the room. That's where you assume that the band is going to go and try to sell some stuff after they just perform, sign some...

Then you realize that's their stage. And so I text my daughter and I'm like, because she's across the room. I was like, so what's the deal? She's like, the person selling the merch says she'll be out in a few minutes. So I'm like, okay, cool. Whatever. Cut to.

Yeah, cut to six bands later. And I'm like, I'm texturing, I'm like, I'm taxing on like, mom, and she's not coming out. You know, then she texted back, well, somebody said that she went to see another band performing in one of the other rooms. I'm like, right, well, and leave it with the person that's there. selling the stuff, right? She can't have to be anonymous. That person selling the stuff was the guitar player or something, or a bass

player, something he was, he was cool. and he was like, I'll make sure she definitely gets it. You don't got to worry about it. And I'm like, well, I look at her and she gives me that look and I don't want to give it to him. I need to give it to her. And so is this? Maybe like if somebody wanted to get something to you and they have to give it to get them. It's good but you know what give it to get him is guaranteed well. It's gonna guarantee it's gonna get to me though I mean he could not not deliver it. He has that level of he who takes you immediately. Yeah, I start bothering you about it

so Then the guy who's behind the merch table leaves and I'm like we had a chance to give it to him I go you should have just gave given it to him And I go we could have got out of here at eight o'clock. It's it's 9.30 now. It's it's it's 10.30 now It's like I go we could have got out of here. We could have been done and I'm like the last band comes on That's how old you sound when you're like it's a dirty already Sounds fucking crazy But she doesn't care about the other bands

She has no she's not even paying attention her back is to the stage the whole time as she's just staring at the merch table Waiting for this person to come back so she can give him this present in his painting she painted I do enjoy the subliminal merch table as you keep Final casts one and two now available. Yes, indeed. Second pressings, but these will be the last pressings no more after this. And no more. You know, we'll be offering it a different platform, but not to say,

final, yeah, not to say on P3 because it's not going to be the way it is. It's not going to be through bank camp. No. But well, maybe I don't know that remains to be seen. We have to figure it out. We don't know yet. But, um, yeah, Merch table, tell them Steve Dave.com if you're interested in the order of now, you might get him before Christmas. Probably what's the problem? 15th. Yeah, I think that'd be much. It's pretty good. If you're in America, I think it's a good chance. Yeah, I think that'd be... I think that'd be... I think that'd be pretty good. I think it's a good chance. Yeah, I keep...

I keep getting emails about the tariffs and taxes and all that stuff. I mean, we can't change fucking European law, though. Yeah, and I doubt March Table's willing to put everything into gift. I used to do that for people, though. Yeah, but I mean, I have a bit... Anything can get in trouble. I mean, they're not going to do it just because we asked them to it seems I don't know if we tell them to you can't I don't think you gotta follow a pretty powerful man

So you so I say to her The last band announces that they're coming on and they weren't a bad band. They're called Alex G I think they were called and I was I was you know kind of spacey guitar Yeah, yeah, and you know, I was thinking I will say like it's a thank God My daughter at least likes a harder music than I thought she would You know then a 14 year old girl would and not that it's hard, but it's like at least it's there's at least there's a fucking guitar in it Right, it's not like boy band type stuff. Yeah, um, so he comes.

For Tom. Sorry. So he comes out and I'm like, and then no one's at the merch table. Tomstevegave.com. And um, and it's the last band and I say, look, I go, you just gotta have to leave it on the table, I said. So the guitarist isn't even there anymore? No, and also when I gotta give,

I gotta give it up to this fucking crowd of kids over there. I gotta applaud them. I really, I mean, I really, I take my hat to them. They did not, like, like, her merch table wasn't the only table there on the tent. It would merchandise on it. Nobody touched it. Nobody tried to take any of it. It was, like to me, I was just like, man, that's a level of respect. I'm shocked by it. I mean, people were coming up to my daughter and be like, uh, can I get this? Because they thought she was selling the shit because she was there for so long.

And were you so tempted to be like just sell it, man? No, no, not at all. Well, maybe they noticed you noticing them scowling. That's why they're like, well, he's clearly like security or something. No, no, I mean, security's believe me security there. Yeah, not existent. No, very, very, very big presence and dudes that will fucking look like they will fucking squash you like a bug.

Big burly. Big dudes. Big dudes that like when they say, yo, you fucking stop too and you're fucking standing erect and you're like, I do not have anything search whatever crevice and fucking cavity you want sir. Please don't hurt me. Now when you say, yo, I think I know what you're talking about. I got you.

No, it was, it was, it was, um, a diverse security group. Oh, yeah, they had some Muslims, some Jews, some blacks and whites, a couple of Mexicolies in there. I don't know, though, I mean, like, you have two burly guys, right? One right next to the other. The black guy's like, yo, and the white guy's like, yo, aren't you just, like, don't you just look at the black guy more like he's gonna fucking destroy me than the white guy? Like if you were to get into a fight. Well, no, no, because they're to get into a fight, well not no because they're both huge and they and if the white guy is fucking He's fought everything that is tattooed except this fucking island and they may be if it's close

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and blinked I Don't think that there's a chance that either one of them couldn't just you know take their fingers and fucking just flick me away to the side Could you imagine like you they thought you said something that you didn't say just like like Alicia was watching as these Just toss your like a rag doll Like one of those cuz they always see like every says videos where like they have these over zealous bouncers Yeah, that like punch somebody and kill them with one punch I'm just like who is that fucking like upset at a door that people like, hey man, let

me in the club. And they're like, pow, these guys are walking around. We were standing by the merch table so long waiting for this artist to come back to the table that at a certain point, like they're like the music's playing and like when it's playing so loud, you can like you can feel it on the ground, like moving a little bit. Like the boom. Right, the bass. But I felt something else.

I felt a weird feeling next to my feet of a boom. And I was just like that did not. Oh my God, there's no Islamic fundamentalists in the house. No, no, no, it was, it's Sony had collapsed and right by my feet. I told you I needed a joint. I didn't listen. I'm like, and I'm saying myself that is that someone around? But there's so many people around. I can't tell.

And it's dark. And I'm like, is that somebody on the floor, like, like four feet in front of me? But I can't touch them physically because there's so many people in the way. And plus, if I'm going to be moving my hands around as people, or I'll buy everybody's butts and everything, I'm not doing it. But why are you trying to reach the crowds? It's hard to them. Because I see somebody on the ground, it looks like that's collapsed, and nobody knows it.

Oh, you're trying to get your camera phone in there to video them? No, I was going to try to help them up. Just kidding, that's what everyone does now. I can't tell you how many videos I see see where like there's been a major car accident And there's people like on the ground groaning. There's like 500 people with cell phones Just all recording like human misery constantly. So I I I look around and then I've thankfully I guess this person's friend I can't tell if it's a dude or a girl, but it's like looks like they're like 14 mm-hmm is on the ground And not moving like don't worry, it's just a training.

I don't worry, Alicia. It looks fine. No, not as horrible. But I can't talk, because like it's dark, and I can't talk, because these young kids, they like it, what's a drawjab? Yeah, like a very androgynous look. So they're this you know look like a bowie look all right and They picked them up in their face. You could just tell by their face. They're like in a you're like see if it has tits

Q That's uncalled for I It's got a couple things dangling down here. Some, hey, I got a request. Blaze the glory. Go in. Go in. OK, I wanted it.

I'll be happy with whatever I find. I'm horny. I'm dying for a joke. So I can tell by the look, I've seen that look not very often, I don't see it very often that look where the eyes are are just gone. Oh, like that like neurological like. Is a scary look when you look at somebody and they're look and they can't. They're unfocused.

Yeah, they are not on this on this level of it. This plane of existence. They're in somewhere else. And everybody is yelling. Get outside, get outside, get outside. You're gonna throw up. Everyone's so worried. She's gonna vomit, which is a concern now. And I'm like, too, because I didn't think of that. I was like, well, she puked all her life. I know. I know. I don't know. I don't know. You come home. I'll be walking here like a devil and hear a... I saved what I think was a girl could have been a boy.

I don't know. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. The kids are all the same. And they get her out and they move her away. So that was like the only time. And I looked at my daughter and I'm like, I go, you know,

what do you say to that? You know, she's seeing people pass out now, she's had a concert where people are passing out. Right, but it could have been because of- Well, there was a bar. So crowded. It was a bar there. Right.

I mean, I guarantee they're pretty stringent with like the bracelets and all that shit. Well, just personally- Well, somebody was buying it for some- This person could have been 21. I said they look like they're a 14 but they look people Like once you pass a certain age, you're just like I don't know everyone It's like just what's younger than me. I have no idea and And then the the fucking act the final act announces

There are misses are gonna be our final song and I'm like oh god There's no I look at us like we got to go. There's none you can do. She starts crying. She starts crying and I'm like, all right, we'll stay. I mean, really, unless it's like, like, Frankenstein or Inagata Davita or like something that likes a bizarrely long song, what's another three or four minutes, right? And I said, all right, we'll stay, we'll stay to

the end and then, and then I go, but like I said, I go, at the end of the song, we got to go. You got to just leave it there. And she's like, well, someone's going to have to come back for this merge, merge and die. So wait till they come back. She's three steps ahead of you. And I'm like, you don't know a novel thing. I go, I go, we will stay. And she starts crying again. I go, we will stay until one of those bouncers over there says we gotta go, it's to stop crying. So she stopped crying. And the final song is wrapping up and then the artist, that artist she's waiting for came out

and thankfully she got, I guess the moment that she was hoping for, she looked at her painting, told her. Then the call girl eventually came out at the end, at the very end. At the very end. Oh my God. At the very end, and she, like,

That is at least like, I told you. I told you. No, she didn't. And thankfully, she wasn't like, but I, but like, thankfully, I was just like, all right. And you know, I was like, I just conceded, because but I was like, I was convinced that, like, you know. Your eyes were looking in different directions.

I was convinced though that it wasn't gonna happen, but you know, she did come out, she was nice, and she, you know, she must recognize your daughter by now, right? Well, it's only the second time she's seen her. I mean, I mean, you think about it. Well, that's true. Well, I mean, you had six concerts lined up with this girl keeps getting sick.

Yeah, and think about it. Like, somebody, like, there's guys who come in here and they're like, Hey, I was here last year. Don't you remember me? Yeah, at the store. I came in the store last year and I'm like, sometimes I'm like, sometimes I'm truthful. I'm like, no, I don't remember.

Sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, I remember how you've been. Don't you hate it when you do that? No, you're the call on it. And then like, you don't remember. It's like, why the fuck you bother me with it? That's a difficult for me to, like, unless something, like something, something happen other than, like, without a picture.

They're remembering one person. You're trying to remember a year's worth of people who have come through the door, maybe some stood out more than others, you know, for like you say, for whatever reason. But yeah, you can't be expected to remember that many people. There are people that I like, I'm embarrassed when I don't remember them. Like I went to an IJ show and there was some girl that that was there. And she was like, Hey, I'm like, Hey, not knowing where the fuck I know her from or what her name was. And it turned out like I was on

the cruise with her for a week at the IJ show and she's like, you know, I can't believe you don't remember me. And I'm like, yeah, I'm sorry. I just, I should have it. Like I should have remembered her. Right, but I don't expect and I don't, like, I don't have any expert. Like to me, the expectations or should be you pay your ticket, the performer performs, you go home. If you happen to get like a picture with them great, but like, I don't expect her to remember, she performs all over. She's gotta be seeing kids like this

in every city she goes to. I don't expect her, especially like a little tiny, little girl, I mean, there must be hundreds of them that she sees, you know, during the week. Yeah, true. Do they all bring her shit, though? I don't know. I mean, at least she'll bring you some pretty involved stuff. Oh, do they? I think she, I think she, her fan base that are like really into her, like, there's like certain things like she likes, like doll heads, like these like, you know, Victorian doll heads, you know, and she was like it was like she definitely She definitely gave her enough that like she she was on the ride home

She was happy until She got sick. I guess she was so like worked up Right fucking she she got sick on the way home. She throw We had a McDonald's bag. She was able to fucking like we're in a Holland tunnel Like you're gonna have to just do it in the fucking bag or ever I just not we can do what she did I dream maybe I maybe or maybe I think she was just all worked up I think she was just so like the anxiety level of like she's like it's not so that the last song is announced And she looks at me with those eyes like she knows the last song. She's like this. It's probably not gonna happen Is it keep fucked up. Sorry.

It's not mindful. I mean, I did everything I could. Oh, I guess I mean, I don't know. I mean, I could have been one of those obnoxious fucking parents that are like, you know, like that demands, you know, but like who might- Why say here? Yeah, like that's not- I paid money for this ticket.

And that's all you get is the performance. If you're lucky enough to get something else then then great. But I don't, like I could never pull that kind of fucking arrogant douchebag attitude of like, you owe my daughter something more than this. Do you think you notice it more now being on the other side of the camera say say, than you

might have otherwise? Because there are a certain number of people, Q, you'll agree with this, that feel that they're owed beyond the product that you've put out there. Now, tell them Steve Davis a little different because it's a community, you know what I mean? Oh my god yeah yeah. Well I don't feel that way about comic bookmen though. Like when I go to a con it's a big difference if I see an ant versus if somebody just likes the show and I like that they like the show but I just don't have that same sort of connection with them you know I mean like I'm not probably not gonna go out of my way at all. Well you're the whole the connection's made because

they've listened to when they had me $20. I'm taking a picture like a fucking donkey in Mexico. People take pictures of donkeys in Mexico. I was thinking about the other day. They pay money to do it like somebody will paint a burrow and that's basically what me and me and Ming are doing. to do it, like somebody will paint a burrow. And that's basically what me and me and Ming are doing. Yeah. And you're fucking too many. Couple of burrows. Fucking jackasses. But I don't know if I don't think I ever could pull that like, pull that like kind of entitled parent card. You know, that I, I've seen other parents do and other situations. Not there, of course, but like in other situations, like, you know, their kids' feelings or, or Trump, whatever else is going on.

It doesn't matter, you know? And I don't think I can do that. I don't, I never have. I don't think I ever would. And even for yourself, like I never occurred to me, grown up, I mean, it's just a different world because people are so accessible via, like they might answer you via Twitter or Facebook or Instagram or whatever I think that's what makes it even you know as these as

people who are on like our performers or celebrities are even when they Converse or communicate now through the computer internet You know, they add some more expectations, I think, and more feelings of a connection that maybe isn't really there, or maybe it is, I don't know. Yeah, well, like sometimes we hold right in their bio on Twitter, like somebody famous person, they retweeted me on this date or answered me on this thing. I mean you can't deny that a lot of you like it could be so meaningful to somebody to have

like Kanye West fucking retweet them. It could be like a whole year right? Yeah it could be I mean it could be the difference between like it could mean the world to certain people. Oh, there's nothing I like as much while as going through the audible podcast copy. It's so succinct. I mean, come on. Everybody knows what it is, right? It's books you listen to on your phone or your, do people even have iPods pretty much? I have an iPod. Yeah, my mother's constantly kang around an iPod and her iPhone, for years now, and I'm like, why?

Because you don't want to bog down your iPhone with all the music. But she just listens to Josh Groban. That's the only thing she listens to. I don't think he has over fucking 30 gigs of music But she just listens to Josh Groban. That's the only thing she listens to. I don't think he has over fucking 30 gigs of music, unless she's listening to it, like the highest, like the flat form possible or something. I carry around my iPod and iPhone.

Yeah. It's not that big a deal, it's not that heavy. Yeah, but you just need both though, right? But you're talking about carrying something that weighs what, like four ounces? Maybe. But you're talking about carrying something that weighs what? Like, like, four ounces? Maybe. And you're making it sound like she's like carrying, like she's got a, like,

Oh, well, I haven't mentioned her kindle, her nook, her fucking laptop, her second laptop, her iPad, her fucking Amazon fire, whatever the fuck, your parasitic twin. She's, well, she sounds like a woman of the early 2000s. She, yeah, she, she buys, I don't know if I should laugh. So much a lot, you should laugh at her.

She buys so much electronic shit and then it like has no idea how to use it. Years later is like, oh, that's how you, well, make a playlist, I guess she is like you. So, yeah, it's Yeah, it's pretty weird. But anyway, okay, so audible. You can get it from Amazon, a audible app or whatever.

Well, what do you get? Membership includes one free audiobook a month, 30% off, other ones, free apps, downloaded lists. And come on, y'all know what it is. So that make me say this over and over again. You can send books to people, you can share audio excerpts from your favorite listens with anyone, can you imagine clipping something?

Like taking the time instead of just telling someone to clip it, maybe it's easy, I don't know, and send it to somebody like, you gotta check this out. Well, what about this thing, as a Christmas present? Could someone buy somebody a free like their first month of audible? Yeah, probably. I don't see why not. People are doing that with the Christmas, the Tom Steve Dave Christmas thing. They're gifting it to each other. I thought it was really nice. But audible Oh, it is. But, I mean, but audible isn't a one time thing like, you know, like,

Oh, like people like now, I'm on the fucking hook every month. What you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I don't think people will be gifting that. I mean, unless like, I just got to be an innovative way to gift the, the audio book to somebody, this, this Christmas. Yeah, just go and torn it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, gotcha? You know, I'm the only classic books I've never read, but I would like maybe to hear. I find myself getting distracted very easily,

like when I try to listen to books. The last book I listened to that I was like riveted. The entire time was a Norm McDonald based on a true story because he reads it. It's, I cannot, I'm not just saying this because of autobol. I can't recommend it highly enough. It's so fucking funny. I think I also the last audiobook I listened to was by a comedian. I brought Jim

Gaffigan's Dad is fat. It's a different type of read though. It's not like him doing a stand-up. So there's no like there's no audience. There's no laughing. So it's a very different experience at him reading his book than him like buying one of his comedy albums. It's different, I don't know if it's bad, but I mean it's definitely, it took me a while to get used to. You know, there's a different affliction of the voice when he's doing, rather than doing his stand-up routine than him reading his book. Did you like it or? I did like it. I mean, I could have got rid of it.

I kept it on my iPod. I'm surprised you didn't send any clips to me. As you can do. I don't know what to do. I just figured out a playlist about a couple of months ago. You figured I know how to do clips. Yeah, it's true. In 2026, I'll expect the Jim Gaffigan clip.

So, well, what did I got to go? Where did I got to go? Shockingly, I don't think it says it on here anywhere. Oh, it's all this shit. I'm sure it's all. I guess calm slash T.E.S.D. Uh, no. Audible.com slash T.E.S.D. And for that, you get the free audio book on a 30-day trial. It's pretty worth it. I like it. I saw my God speaking of like the level of like, I don't even know if it's appropriate

because I don't know. To say this, but I'm the kind of worst of the station. But I saw something that like it almost brought me to tears in terms of like like fan celebrity connection or something. I was watching Monday Night Football and there was a before the game they had a story about a kid like a nine-year-old boy who has his body's being ravaged in his head and in his spine by tumors. Okay, I thought you were going to say by like some chama lester. When you said his body was being ravaged I was like, oh shit, where's this going? Why would they talk about this? I don't even know why your mind goes to the ad immediately.

But he's a big New England Patriots, especially Tom Brady fan. I mean, what an amelior. Well, I mean, this is on the, you know what? He's going to put, he's going to make you go like, there's a different, there's another level. Right. And he loves Tom Brady and he It's adorable though a adorable little kid, you know talking like they're showing you videos that he sent Tom Brady

About him inspiring him what the battle he's going through with the cancer and he's got all these all these Surgery's on his brain that he has to have right and. And his doctor is being interviewed and the doctor goes, how is, you know, literally brought to my knees, shaken when the, you know, was like... It's not a sexual indiwendo going on here, dude. When the kid, a little boy, said, while you have my head open, you're performing a surgery on me,

can I request that you carve into my skull, Tom Brady's number? How does this kid? Nine. That's maniacal. That's that's not fandom, that's crazy. No, he wanted to do it as like a way like, as I'm sort of like totem almost,

to like help him with his fight So the doctor he would think it would thought it would be a good luck charm. Yeah, so the doctor was like you can't do any harm I can't hurt him or anything and so I'm thinking like But why don't they just tell him they did it? Right and then fake the x-ray Like you know just like the photo shot is like just way easier to etch it into his head probably. Yeah, but they they took like the stencil of like it like it wasn't just a number 12 like a generic number 12. They took they had the picture and they kind of like put it like you know like it on like when you have a overhead overhead projector. Right. And they kind of put it on and they put it on to put the image onto his skull and they carved it into his skull. That's nuts.

I mean, but that is nuts. And then they show me X-ray of it. And it's like, and he's like super jazz about it. And then they show him like, Tom Brady get in the video of this happening. And of course, he's like, you know, you got to come see me. You got to come to a game. And they show like, you know, they don't, they show you stills, which I thought was really classy. Like they don't show you, you, they don't have video

of what like the real, what was going on in the room. They have stills of him hugging him and like, ravaging him. And I was just like, I'm watching it and I'm like, start well enough. It was crazy how just how touching it was and then they show you that night. Like, this had happened like previously,

that night he, the boy was at the game and he's not doing as well as, you know, as you, as you're hoping and he's now has to go, he has to, he's in a wheelchair now, but he's at the game and the fucking it's so cold out too. Like the Patriots play outside on a Monday night game. Oh my God. His kids on the sideline, it's gotta be like fucking. Just so you know right now in Jersey, it was like 10 degrees tonight.

And it was like, wasn't it feel like horrible I Want to I want to shoot myself I'm like I know it'd be easier to get on a plane and go to Florida than like I actually committing suicide But I step outside and I'm like oh my god. I can't take it now That's like about this. It's nine o'clock at night and the games I get over to midnight and that kid's gonna sit in the sidelines and root for Tom Brady and Tom Brady had an amazing game so this kid must have been so psyched. I mean what it to me is like one of the like there's so much shitty things going on about celebrities and everything and about football in general. That was a great story and it made me I mean of course

it's Tom Brady who's gonna do it though like he's he's, he's not Tim Tibo. He's not Tibo. Like in terms of, like, you don't, I mean, I'm sure he's still a great dude in terms of, like, charity. I don't know. I have no idea. I mean, he's not particularly known for it. Or maybe he is. I just, I'm not aware of it. I just happen to be watching, I never watched a pregame on, of anything, but I happened to be watching this one, and there was a story that, I don't know if that's something he does commonly, or he did it just because of how powerful. He's like every time I can get my number etched

into their skull. I'll take a moment with him. I mean, I had to, I like, what about that guy that fucking, that fucking got tattooed, TSD makes the world takes. Right. I like, what about that guy that fucking, that fucking got tattooed, you know, TSD makes the world takes. Right. I mean,

he's a perfect elf. I got a shitty, hockey jersey with a wrong day. I'm in too small for him. But see, I respect that guy. I respect that guy more than I respect Tom Brady. I mean, I mean, I mean, if so, I mean, I saw if anybody's ever ever considers that like you ever have

a surgery and you ever get TSD like like carpets on bone, we will we will fucking treat you right. Yeah, we'll give you a time. We'll let you sit out in 10 degree weather for three straight hours. That's fucking crazy, man. But like, what do you, I mean, I mean, this is a dude too that's like at like Tom Brady is on another level like you can't.

He's on a level of like, he's like a rock star of rock star football players. Rock star. Yeah, definitely. Like an iconic person now where he will go in down in history as One of the most one of the greatest all-time players at his position, you know, the arguable You know, I say I'll say Montana and Manning or but you know who's a Dallas guy chill those guy in Dalai Achman Roger storeback. I mean there's these guys, but he's these guys, but he's on the list of like all time, like maybe the greatest ever.

And then to put all that with like those looks, this is a- And the girl and the money. This is a dude that is, that is fucking blessed beyond like blessed. And you gotta, that's how you know there's no god. Because you got this fucking guy over here. Like he wants for nothing. And there's a fucking

sickly nine year old in a wheelchair. For reason, it's fucking balls off with a fucking big incision in a scalpy. And like, I don't even know if I'll make it through the game. That's my lifespan could be that short. But you know, to, you just don't want to say that Tom Brady out of popped out onto this planet and did everything that he did with absolutely no effort. I mean, there's plenty of super, super hard work and dedication and determination and just to over and over perfection, that you just, it just doesn't come from, you just not like, that's, you just can't have that just by being lucky, you gotta work out too though.

Well, I mean, it's a combination of luck, talent, the right time, the right time, the right time, the full lecture. The answer is yes, being with the right team, being with the right coach, you never, yeah, who knows what would have. Yeah, having the right, you know, the right parents The answer to the idea of being with the right team, being with the right coach, you never, yeah, who knows what would have. Yeah, having the right, you know, the right parents who, you know, but what does it feel like to fucking get a video

and have someone say that to you like a kid? It's got to be the most common thing ever. A kid from a homestive Dave that we could, we could look like chips. Is that where you would like, what, where do you draw the line in terms of like, Hey, it would mean so much if you could do blank. Like we get invitations to weddings. I don't want to, I don't want to go to weddings.

Almost weekly. I don't want to go to weddings of people I know, let alone people I don't know. That's not going to happen. We got an offer as the comic book man to go do a birthday party in North Carolina. And the fucking woman was the, it was some kids party who like comic bookman. She was fucking like Michael Crowley on. She's like, my offer is this nothing because she's like, no money, no flight, no lodgings, but he loves the show. Now, this is the parent you're talking about. He loves the show.

Like, why wouldn't they just do something like that? And the manager is like, oh, okay, so I never heard of this one. No, it never made it to our table because the lady was like, she did, you know, she was going to offer nothing for us to go to a kid's birthday party. Basically, like, I mean, you don't fly. So it's like a fucking 12 hour, 10 hour drive, whatever. And it's also just like, why? Why?

Why would we spend our time doing that? Like, do you realize everyone here has a family of their own? But I mean, you know what? That's where that entitlement comes in. But if I was, like, if I happened to be in North Carolina and like, and let's say the kid was like, not like that, not that, grathly ill, but like, you know, something was wrong or owed, you know.

After seeing that, like, but I would want to make sure, damn sure, because people come in here with their kids and like, my son loved your show. Say hello and they're like, Oh, like, who's this? Yes. It happens. It happens a lot. And I'm like, this son loved your show. Say hello, and they're like, Oh, like, who's this? Yes. It happens, it happens a lot.

And I'm like, this kid doesn't know who I am. It does, it's never seen a show. Why are you telling, why are you maintaining that he loves us? And I know for a fact, I can tell by the difference in his face, he doesn't care. That's what I'd be scared of. I would be so like, I'm like, all right,

I'm gonna go, I'm gonna make this effort. I don't even need any money. I'm inspired by seeing a lot of things on. I saw this Tom Brady thing, you know what I'm saying? Let's do this, you know, what's a couple hours? And then I get there and then he's like, and the kid doesn't react and he doesn't care. And then you're explaining to all the other adults

who you are. That would be my nightmare scenario, yeah. Yeah. That's being dream scenario. You just get to fucking show up and tell people about himself. That's fucking nuts. Did you see the video of the preacher, the minister guy telling, he went to some mall telling kids and telling kids there's no

Santa. No, it's this old crotchety fucking minister guy. Hold on, I'll look up his his info right now. What's that because he's because he's he's maintaining that kids are more concerned about Santa. Close and they are about the real shockingly. Yes, he's like it's Jesus's birthday or whatever. And you people are. And he's he's at the mall. You just yell like kids are like, what the fuck's going on? Like in the video, you can kind of see them. I imagine he may be having some issues. He's an Alaska radio evangelist.

maybe having some issues. He's an Alaska radio evangelist. Let's see, let's say, okay, so he's a street, okay, an Alaskan street preacher, which means basically homeless person who rambles on about God. He must be, like I said, even before he even told me, I said he must be have some issues. I thought maybe he possibly, he was ill,

but I thought this, I thought it was in Texas. He invaded a Christmas village in Texas and started yelling, there's no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does not exist. The Christmas season is about Jesus, the 56 year old, so they went to the Maldra preach the real biblical meeting behind Christmas and exposed Santa Claus as a falsehood.

He also shouted, there is no flying reindeer or workshop. I mean, so he pretty much debunked the whole Santa Claus Mifos. That's dangerous in Texas, man. I cannot believe... Well, he's white, so I think that's probably why he didn't get shot. But he's like, the man you're going to see today is just a man in a suit dressed up like Santa. He also called out the parents to stop lying about Santa. Like who you go, like who you, I mean like you said, he must have, like I said, he must have some mental issues, because how many people you think you're converting with this,

with this form of, of preaching? Let's see, he posted a three minute video of the encounter. He said he's received dozens of death threats. He said he made a video while visiting family in Amarillo where he used to run a ministry called Repent Amarillo. He's not an official pastor, although he's twice served as an associate pastor and said he does his preaching on the street with his wife. although his twice served as an associate pastor and city does his preaching on the street with his wife, Betje she's a hottie. The couple preaches a football game strip clubs bars and marty-gross celebrations. I thought we saw that even when we went to

the LA the Stanley Comic Con in LA. There were a bunch like a couple guys out there and they have like their their signs with the Bible verses and shit and boom boxes with preaching and stuff. I always wonder like what exactly is it? Like what is it like in life to find a problem or fault with absolutely everything? Like it's either like in with an in comics, it's like, oh, they were, they were, they were against comics. I got there against something. I don't know what it was. They were against something to do with the, with the comic con or you go to Marty Gra, or you go to, you know, because, you know, it's fucking the Samson and the Lyle, isn't it? A lot of more. Some in the mora. Yeah. We're actually having some in the lila, you know, depending on who your cause playing as.

But like, you could see why some like, some conservative people would be like, this is, like, why isn't everyone turning to salt? Because it's the easy answer is because a bunch of non-conservative people have agreed that in this space, we're gonna walk around and we're gonna drink and we're gonna fly some titties and we're gonna find some bees. Yeah, and we're going in vomit and we're going to, and we're going to defecate in the streets

and we're gonna urinate all over everybody and let's have a good time. Right, but- That's just against the law. That is against the law. They can't change the law just because people wanna do it. But no, what's against the law though? Urinating and defecating.

It's showing you. Are you in New York City? Because you can go. But where is it? Las Vegas? Well, let's say Marty Grot. It's a New Orleans. It's got to be against the law to flash and to openly do one and two.

A lot of people puke, that's an issue. I guess that's not a good deal. But again, you're talking about people who have, it's a societal contract that if you're going to be in this space at this time, then look, if you're walking down Bourbon Street in the middle of June, flash in your tits,

you're probably gonna catch some shit, but people have agreed that during this time. An unwritten rule, it's okay some shit, but people have agreed that that during this time written rule It's okay this day, but not this day Well this week maybe this week, but not next week if you do it next week, right? You're gonna go to jail. Well, yeah, you might get in some trouble and even then even like you as long as it doesn't get too riotous then you know

The cop to mainly I found that I've never been to Marty Grob, but I've been the fantasy fest with Q a couple times. It's basically the same thing just on Q West. And it's usually very relaxed environment until Friday or Saturday that people come in from Miami and it's a whole different story. But just like that bridge that Quinn was like, you're never gonna go to that Berkeley, you're never gonna cross that bridge, right Quinn? What do you care? So why would the conservative people care if these people are flash and titties

and drinking beers and pissing on each other? Which I've never seen just for the record. But they're so drunk that they're pissing on people, passed out in front of them. I've seen it on not in person, but I've seen it on cops. You saw on cops? Yeah, they just urinate wherever,

and they don't even look down where they're urinating, and there's somebody passed out, and they're getting urinal. Again, part of this societal contract, and it's like, look, if you drink so much that you pass out, chances, and you're on the ground, chances are, somebody might piss on you, even mistakenly. You just don't want to be in that situation.

You don't want to get that drunk, right? Yeah, but I mean, you, again, society has said you can do it though, if you want to, today's the week, if you're gonna get, if you're gonna get so shit faced, you might pass out. Well, this is the week to do it. It's like the marriage. It's like the part of the questions yep it's like the purge man the one week where you're allowed to go do this stuff and we have

seen though that people will take it to because they can't handle that kind of freedom some people can't a lot of people can a lot of people yeah and then they and then they fucking they wake up and they in their fucking urine. So why do I smell so weird? They didn't see any titties. No, I don't remember. I don't recall any titties. And now they got the neutral gun. They got hepatitis C from pissing the mouth. You see with sports teams though. As I see a sports team lose, right? Like a big game, right? And the fucking they burn the city to the ground, usually Detroit. Oh, champion after a championship.

But that same sports team, if they win, they burn the city of the crowd, it doesn't matter. What like, I was not every city though. It's a lot of cities. I mean, it's definitely Detroit. Well, I mean, I don't know. I really don't know. When's the last time they want like a me. Well, it's probably been a while. It would be the piston early 2000s. Because I don't think the tigers of one and we know the lions have never. Well, the red wings stay one recently. I don't need a bit of hockey. It's different. Although I'm Vancouver, fucking when they lost the Stanley Cup finals, they tore it up. There was some. Those are Canadians. Yeah, shocking. They

took a lot of bad PR for that Canadians, because you know, they're not known to be act like Americans. Yeah, like fucking wild animals just because they're fucking teabast. So yeah, so what do you do? What do you do? I mean, your girls are obviously old enough now, but you're at them all. Oh, and this and this person some fucking weird preacher comes up and starts yelling all this shit What's your move? I don't know if I have I would just be like um, I'm just telling fly out of like this Don't you know this person is suffering from some sort of delusional episode.

And you can't believe anything he said. He's obviously not right in the head. And your kids would listen to that Depending on the age. Yeah They're like 18. Well hold on a sec. Let me uh Here's what it will get a little sample of him yelling See what he sounds like see how you would because it did I mean he came in hot, you know, it's not like he it was a slow burn What's that I mean, he came in hot, you know, it's not like he it was a slow burn. Let's see.

That's it. No, a lot of course there has to be a fucking commercial before fucking everything. It's a fucking most irritating thing on earth with videos now. So I was like, Hey, let's monetize it. And then you got to watch a 30 second fucking commercial. What the fuck, man? Okay. I asked past the English and the last frontier of Angeloism, and today,

that's what he looks like. And we're going to tell the children here today the truth that there is no Santa Claus and then these guys just being a dick. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus was born in a major 2016 years ago. He's lucky he doesn't get like doesn't get his face crushed by some angry dads who are like, my name is pastor David kids I want to tell that's so quiet bro. My dear children and tell them there's such a thing as Santa when you know in reality that there are no flying reindeer. There is no work show.

Where's my security? There is no... Why is it so... Yo! Why is it a yo-guy? Where is it? It's a fucking yo-guy. That's a little...

To beat his ass into like into a little bloody pulp. Right. Towards the end, a couple of guys went up to him and they were rather reserved from what I saw. I feel like I have so much fucking anger about other things and Sage wouldn't even understand. She'd be like, who's this fucking? She wouldn't even know. But there would be other little kids there and I'd be

like this is the moment where I'm gonna take out fucking 20 years of aggression on you right now and they may make things a little bit more scarier as the kids see other man being what's up hitting it it may not be the best course of action right it would be more for me than for the kids but oh my God. Yeah. I'm Pastor Dave. I just want to let y'all know there ain't no Santa Claus. It's all about me. Right. Because you have to, not only are you telling them about Santa Claus, but you have to preface it by saying who you are. A Pastor Dave, y'all know me from the street corner.

And videotape, so he can post it because it's all about him. I wish somebody had fucking beat the shit out of him. Like someone had just dropped something from the upper level onto his neck. Some heavy ornamental thing they just bought with their lawn. What a jerk. Oh, I wanted those fucking earns. I've not earned those things that fall in Wiley Coyote. Oh, those animals.

They saw them at the mall, right? Oh, sure. Yeah. And they're iron working shop. What do you got going? What plans do you have for Christmas? Oh, I don't know. Um, you know, regular Christmas shit. And then I have to leave a couple days later.

We're doing a man, man, man, we're doing a convention in Dallas. I'll be a new year's. Oh, he spent a new years with half the compagment. A new year's, yeah, yeah. A new year's rock and eve with Mingum Brian. Yeah, it's us versus Ryan Seacrest. We're gonna see who takes the title this year. I would be surprised if they get hardwicked to do it.

It's eventually. I mean, he does everything else. You can't turn on the TV without seeing hardwicked anymore. You know, it does like little commercials for like Verizon or Fios or something like that. I find hardwicked way more. I mean, like, can't, isn't there any room for a bucktoothed fucktard?

Sure, right here, right here, baby. You're at the Tel Aviv table. Is this the only place? This is the only place I'll have me. Is this the poker table? Yeah, December 15th. The Rock and Eve. So you're just going to spend about your mom.

That's up at your mom and that's just, I don't mean Josh, but is that, you can say just. No, I mean, that's perfect. Yeah, normally what I do, probably do the same thing I did for Thanksgiving, although it's going to be cold, like, you know, they have a outdoor, like backyard outdoor fire pit. I normally just blaze a big fire and hang out there because it's to again, it's the house.

If there's more than a couple people I get to antsy I don't like being in In groups and people want to talk to about dumb stuff So yeah, it's probably what I'll what we'll end up doing and then if I didn't do the the con I was like I maybe I'll go somewhere for a couple days, you know, but Now this is the con it's in Dallas for a couple days, you know, but now this one time, it's in Dallas. Yeah. Yeah.

About you, Kyu, what do you got? Any special Christmas plans? I took a pill yesterday because I need a little bit. All right. It's pretty cool. I'll be getting done. I'll be getting done. I'll be spending it at home.

We were, you know, where that's where it should be spent, you know, and looking forward to it. Did you ask for anything special? Um, that I asked for anything special. I don't think so. Um, I think it's just a couple hard covers that I've been looking for. And, uh, my mother always puts the onus on the people. What do you want for Christmas?

Yeah, I think a lot of people do that, because I don't feel like thinking about it. Yeah, and they're also, they're like, how about this fucking idiot wants, you know? Right, my mother's confided in you. Yes, and he won't tell me. I can unsympathize with both sides. And like, nobody wants to be, nobody wants to give the real thing they want. And nobody actually wants to try to figure out what the perfect

gift is. They much rather just be like, he's good with a gift card, right? Let's just get in my gift card. Yeah, the one thing that I, that I was like, hey, you know, this would be pretty cool. I looked and I was like, holy shit, this is fucking way too much. I normally never go to any shows, like a Broadway show. Oh yeah? But there's, yeah, there's this, it's, it was from the Nick Crawl show. It was this little bit they used to do called the Oh Hello Show with... It's on Broadway?

Yeah, and it's Nick Crawl and John Mulaney. They play these characters, Gilles Fyson and George St. Giegland. They're really fucked up. It's really their weird characters. And I liked them a lot. And I said, oh, that's pretty cool. They're on Broadway. Oh, seats are fucking $500.

I just went to a Broadway show. How do you call it Broadway? Did you see Q there? Did you do your big time? I don't think he'd be at this show though. I wanted to see the Rudolph the Red Noose reindeer the musical at the felt form. Math square garden. Oh boy. I was good. Yeah, it was good. They had like a like a 20 foot tall bumble. You know, that was made like, you know, it was like a can of cause. Like, had a metronik? Well, they had like little little little sticks that they like they have men with these big sticks that they used to move his arms.

Right. Or that they push them around and they had the reindeer's could fly, which they had people dressed up as the reindeer's and you know, when they're singing a song, you know, but with their hooked up to like wires and shit. Right. And they throw them out in front of the crowd. And it was good. I had a good time.

It's expensive though. Like you said, it was a very expensive and pricey afternoon. Yeah. It cost a bunch. Well, you got four pitnaぎ kids excited to go. Alicia was my 18 year old shocking lease was like I'm not going to that. I'm not going to see if you would off to it. I was right here. I'm like, why? Why? I wish for all of you. Mrs. Too old for rude off to red news reindeer. Yeah, I'm not too

old. Look at me. Look how old I am'm I was the oldest person in a concert the other night So I could not convince her to go so she did not go but you know me my wife and She just flat out like fuck. I'm not going Your little girl has to be fucking so hard dude. Oh, it is but why also every time though I get that feeling of like I can cannot believe this and like this is bullshit I'm like, can you imagine my mom being like as I'm 18? I'm a senior and she's like we're going to this route of the red nose reindeer in the city and you're going Yeah, I'll be okay

Be sure to get your favorite football players fucking number edged in your skull because you obviously are brain damaged It wouldn't have happened. So I got to always think about like how what I was doing in 18 and I give her that level of same level of respect in terms of like I can't be upset that she doesn't want to go to it. I wish she did, but I can't even say that. Even sage at this age. She's 10. She'll be 11 in February which to me is like with every year. I'm like this is getting weirder and weirder

That she's she's getting so big and so old, you know When you know when she was young and we drive her out she'd be like every time she saw Christmas like dad I look like dad I like now. She's gonna give a fuck. Yeah, she's like looking at her iPad or whatever And I remember when we were when we were young we would drive around looking at lights and Maybe 13 or 14 I Expressed maybe some slight disinterest Yes, and the rain Like there was no like like, understanding Flanagan type.

You know what, if I was this age, blah, blah, blah, it's like, I don't know, go home. I don't like racing like 60 miles an hour down surface streets, like, just, like, there's so unappreciative. But it's just like, bro, come on, I'll take the game a little. Like, what the fuck? You want us to do the same shit at 14 that we did when we were six or seven?

That was big though. That was one of the few nights of year we would go out to eat. Like, we rarely went out to eat. Like, now it's like, that's all you do. Yeah, yeah. Is go out to eat or have somebody deliver shit. I am a bless, though, that Alicia is, I wanna say that she's not, she's definitely not immature.

We have, she's never, I've never, ever once thought of either one of my girls as immature. They felt like they were, they had like sarcasm down at like four. And they had, and they've never been immature. And they've always looked at other kids when we've been out in a situation where there's been other kids. And other kids act like other kids do,

and I see them looking at what they would look at those kids, like, what the fuck is with this kid? Why is he crying? Why is he crying this kid acting? Like, why is this four year old? Actually, like a four year old? They look at me, like, what's wrong with these kids? They've always been very,

very mature for their age. But Alicia has, I don't know whether it's the artistic side of her, but she appreciates like Rudolph the Red Nose Rain deer for more than she's enjoying it. My looks entertainment. She's looking at it as the art direction. She's looking at it as the costumate. She's looking at it as like the effects that they use. So she's enjoying it on a level, at least where she's getting and joining it, she's not just doing it because, you know, this is what I'll throw at those right now. Get something to do. Yeah, she's, she can see the, she can see a different facet to what we're doing while

Buckaylon doesn't care. What is she into? Like what is she, Kaylon? Like what are deep into? Yeah, like what are her? She have hobbies? She's just always on the computer. She likes it. I don't know, not always, but I mean, yeah, it's hard to tell what an 18 year old's into. Right. Because then I'll talk to you. But I think seems like seemingly close. That's all she seems to. Well, I actually got a shot for close Christmas list was all about close and makeup. Cl she seems to. Oh, sure, it's gonna show up in the close. Christmas list was all about close.

And makeup. Close and makeup, huh? Oh boy. Alicia, it's almost the same exact thing, but she'll ask for art supplies like canvas and certain paints. Does it make you prouder? Why, because art.

Well, yeah, yeah, because, well, it definitely seems like I'm not saying that close and make up her shallow It's definitely like age appropriate type stuff. Yeah, but you're like she's younger and it's something a little less superficial then Hey, the the way I'm going to look for fucking whatever reason Yeah, I don't yeah, I don't deny like like if she wants something for you know, she's looking for some sort of Art tool or whatever art some sort of art thing that she needs to do Yeah, I'm not going to poop pool. I'm like you don't eat that. Mm-hmm. You know, I'll definitely support it Yeah, and that's also because it's art, but like she does also does music too and right. I should know the guitar

Yeah, she she likes it. She's guitar Yeah, good or cool's guitar. Yeah. She's a good girl, man. She has to have interest in instruments or art, but I don't know. There's so many bloomers. Look at me. I got a female Brian in your hands. Yeah, I mean, she may have. I mean, she just doesn't voice them though.

Yeah. To me, when I looked at the Christmas list that she gave us, it was makeup and- You know, I don't know how to use shoes. Shoes, expensive shoes like Louis Vuitton. Not that expensive in line with like what you would, what you would, you wouldn't be like, absolutely not. All right.

Now, she's at least reasonable. Yeah, not out of touch with like, well, I deserve these, no. All right. You know what you should get her? with like, well, I deserve these, no. All right. You know what you should get her? I mean, it may not be on her list. I have a lot of stakes. Yeah, is she into stakes?

No, is she into, let's see, is she, this would be good for her actually, because teenagers love their privacy, right? I definitely, right? Yeah, so why not get her a ring that she could put like on her door? Like one of the... Yeah so like she can see who it is like maybe if it's Alicia she wants to

talk to her but she sees you you fucking like fish-eyed fish-eyed looking like come in? Yeah like it's me daddy fuck tart. What are you doing in there. Yeah, she could she could she could either say yay or nay. Let's see ring ring ring. We all know what it is right. It's a doorbell that you can use the app and you can look at people and shit and say like okay. It's somebody I want in my house. If somebody I don't want in my house, if somebody I want to try to pretend I'm not home, what do you got? And the kid includes a ring, video doorbell for the front door, a ring, stick up cam, the wireless weather proof HD camera.

Okay, you got one of these, right? You love it. Yes, if I was white, that was the only question. Wow, there you go. I've never heard such an endorsement. Host, please share how this can help you or someone you love. All right. First off, yeah, I would have to thank someone that I love that could you, Merry Christmas, say, here's a ring doorbell for you. For limited time, listeners to this podcast will get up to $150 offering of security kit.

Go to ring.com slash T-E-S-D now. It is pretty good. It's a pretty good idea. It's like one of those things like, God damn, I wish I thought of it. Yeah, the guy who invented the ring is never going to have to work ever again, I don't think. No, he does, but they always do, right? Like these guys, these entrepreneur types, they're constantly like they'll make something and then it'll make a whole bunch of money and then they sell it. They'll get into, and then yeah, and they'll'll sell it to and then they'll try to sink it into find the next the next ring Yeah, and then they blow all their money. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so look out. Listen up, Mr. Ring be smart Ready we're gonna say it. I guess that's it for this week and then what do we got?

Let's see seven days from now is what the, so maybe we'll have one more show before Christmas. Well, that's, we'll say. It's a busy week next week, right? It is. Yeah, maybe. I'll say, maybe. Never so busy that I can't come over here and do the show. I also want to say about, you know, obviously,

a different dynamic today. Better dynamic. I'm out of it. An outpouring, just an absolute outpouring of support and positive vibes after last week's episode. It's pretty apparent that people who listen to TSD love it more than people who listen and hate it. There's no denying that. I mean, I had to to wait through the the

love fest for Q that's out there. Right, you were hip deep. Even though I asked, I'm not interested in why he's the greatest thing on earth. People didn't care. That's a testament. Like you're gonna listen. Testimony. Testimonial as to how. Testify. How much people love Q that they even defied my directions. Yeah, fuck you. Well, yeah, I'm gonna tell you how much you fuckt hard. I'm not gonna listen to something but fuck to you. You've got no sway over me fuckt hard. I'm actually not gonna say I'm fuckmulling. I think that's too harsh.

I'm gonna go with unlovable. Sounds a lot less, it sounds a lot less, but it's a better spit on it doesn't it? I mean, you know what? I think it's the hard consonant that make unfuckable sounds so like, oh my god, that like people think that of me, but really, unlovable is so much worse. Yeah, it's not what you mean, is it?

It just sounds so much more. Unlovable means that you might just be like grouchy. And... Well, I'm taking it in the strictest way where it's like like no one could possibly love you because of the person you are unfuckable is based on like but because there's no like it's it's purely subjective like you can't like you could go to unless you're like fucking the elephant man and you go to a prostitute, somebody's gonna be like, look, the dude's unfuckably, looks like the elephant man. You know, I mean, you could always pay somebody to fuck you. There's always someone just as bad off as you are.

You know how awesome the TSD listeners are. I had two dudes email me and be like, I'm not gay. I want to get this out of the way right now. I'm not gay. But want to get this out of the way right now. I'm not gay. But you're totally not on fire. They are so, they are so concerned that I may be upset by it, that they are like, they're too, they're an email stranger.

And you know, and preface it with like, I'm not gay. I want to let you know that you're not.o. No homo here. And that is why we got a pretty special listener based. They're awesome, right? I've ever written back and I've been like I don't know if I should be happy about this compliment or thank you but you know I'll just thank you for listening right because I'm gonna ignore that other that other back like you sound gay to me no I don't love that's that's amazing and that's that's a that's a listener base that is like oh my god the guys I listen to are sad I don't want them to be

sad that's pretty cool. And no, Ancule, you should stop feeling sad for yourself too. I mean, fuck up there. Everybody loves you. So quiet. Tell them, Steve Dave. When ever you lay me down, it's a medical loan But I come back to do the railroad

And now I have to die as my feet Can't close this waterway Gyeron clwystwch yn gweld a wadau Wel a'r ta'r gynny, s'n gynny, s'n gynny, s'n gynny, s'n gynny Byrg, trwy'r to, mae'r gynny, s'n gynny Gyeron clwystwch yn gweld a'r gynny Gyeron clwystwch yn gweld a wadau I see it Get it, don't you want it, I want it It's a shame I've been raised in just one of the wrong The decision I'll be in place and you're coming along But you did normally not do so wrong

Where I've been I just might be dead Yeah, it doesn't matter what I'm on the worst Where I've been I just might be dead Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, Whenever you make me doubt something better go to law I'm gonna come back to you in my heart Where I'm behind that feet Get lost while I walk the world This has been the production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com. Um.