Tell Em Steve-Dave - #317: This is Why!

Episode Date: December 24, 2016

Q steals Walt's thunder, Rogue One, Bry discovers why he's not a doctor. Music: Sunday Greg - Sunday Jeff He is the best

I will suck the devil's cock Yeah You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. You're good. Oh man, this is shit I ain't gonna last forever. This will be over in like fucking a couple of years' time. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few days. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a few. I'll be back in a I'm afraid it is bitches. Tell them Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave, dropping Christmas Eve while. The first episode ever dropped on a Christmas Eve, I would imagine right? I'm sure a lot of people have time in Earth and they're busy holiday schedules to listen to tell them Steve David on Christmas Eve. I would rather do that than anything that I've done the past couple days. It's been a rough week. I promise myself this year I was like this is a year I'm not waiting until the fuck last minute. I'm not going out in crowds and all that shit.

And then like every other asshole out there. Q, I like how much you've been talking so far. What? No. No. No. Thought we got just the right amount of Q last year. Yeah.

Some people agreed, some people didn't agree. That's all right. Was it hell coming down here, a lot traffic? No, not at all. Really? Yeah, I went out today to get stuff for sage and it's. Why did you wait? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't, I don't mean to say it in a bit. I just have to go get where shit tomorrow. I can't imagine that. I mean, what are you doing that?

You can't go out and do it. We were just talking about it before we went live. I'm watching the extra stuff. I'm watching the last world. I'm watching. I've got a lot of TV shows to catch up on. Yeah, I'm like, Santa's not coming this year, Sage. That is a fucking fat slug who watches every show that's fucking put out on TV. So when I line just said, I said, you guys did another show. Yeah, it looks like we're not having your birthday either. The world though, we're Amazon delivers anything you want with them,

like less than 24 hours Yeah, but I waited to the last minute and even like some of the Amazon stuff. It's like may arrive the 27th That kind of shit does she have a special thing that you had to get like that one thing that she's like it'll make or break Christmas No, what she asked for this shit called shopkins and this is this is where we fuck up man like we don't need to Put out t-shirts and fucking vinyls. We got to come up with a kids thing that An adult looks at and it's like what the fuck Shopkins are these I didn't even hear about them until two days ago. They're these tiny, tiny little characters. Did they come out of eggs?

I don't think so. Oh, like homies? Homies? Oh, back in the day, yeah. I was like, they were at home. They were at home, yes. Were they ever big, though? They were everywhere that I saw them.

I'm like, Sage, they were at a shop, but I did come across these homies at a flea market, so. Ah! We should make them all Steve Dave homies. That'd be pretty great. Yeah. Um, but then on that heavy yoz, you know, I'm sure I shared on walls.

Our pants are backwards. Some way there's an ant or their salt designing that right now. Yeah. So shopkins are like, whatever, like you remember, like the girls, when they were younger, they had to have, like, there was something big that everybody was spending. Oh yeah, yeah. You know, and for, for say, for a long time now, it's like Barbie shit that I will only let her play with regular Barbie, I've banned fat Barbie from the house.

Is there a Husky Barbie? There's a Husky plus size Barbie that they started making. A big bone Barbie. Yeah, it costs more because all plastic and shit that they had to use for that fatty. Is that really? No, they really did, yeah, they made like a plus size Barbie. I'll find it Because you know why not teach kids that no, well why not show kids that there's different body types and

Differenties tubbiers is just like average Unfuckable I and her and her and her and her and her and her and her bucktooth boyfriend Ken Let's see. Okay, so they made a big old, see everybody has to photoshop. Okay, so I guess here's like the barbie lineup. Which one's the, oh come on. Which one's there? There's some child Baron hips right there. Those are, but that's all right. You don't like those hips

Those hips don't lie bruh on a gal Well the Barbie proportions. I think they say are fucking crazy right there. Yeah, it's basically ashwet to Barbie At all with fucking giant tits Do they have to skinny as it's a skinny as a prisoner of war? The the traditional barbeys. Yeah. Well, yeah, the proportions are all out of whack. Well, yeah, they would be a whack if you were if you were a prisoner of war and you were eating only bread and water.

Here she is. There she is. Fat Barbie. That is that's crazy. Is that what they're referring her to? What's that? That's how the barbeys. Listen to you too. What the fuck in awards you trying to fucking win?

What is going on? Yeah, fucking woke plan. You know, here and you're sucked into his vortex of PC bullshit. But what are you talking about? Fucking sell out mother fucker. I saw you on true TV today. I always feel like shit. Whatever I feel like shit, I go to the impractical jokers because it always makes me feel better.

That's interesting. Because I called you twice now. You didn't fuck a pick up the phone. Yeah, I really. Yeah. Um, that's your, what's it called? Your panakia, panacea, panochia, what's it called? What's it called?

What's your, when you make that thing that makes you feel good no matter what it is, it's your, your miracle worker, your panacea. Panacea, yeah, panakia. I don't know. It's not Penicilla. I think pen, pen, it's not a word I use. Oh, you can't even say it. Penicilla. For the first time in Tel Aviv history, you can't. Yeah. Correct. Meek. There's a bunch of fucking idiots like. Yeah. A little jerk off the network.

Penicilla. All the red. Yeah. you might be right. Patissia. Anyway, yeah, that's my that's what it is and I go on there and first There's um, there's a lot of commercials on true TV. That's ending soon really? They cut they cut Three minutes out of commercials out of have all programs going forward in 2017. Really? There's one of those like, you know, when you're watching something on Comedy Central or whatever, and then the ASPCA commercial comes on, you're like, what the fuck? Why that takes you out of it? Oh God, yeah, a little. I'm trying to watch South Park and all of a sudden, just starving dog. How shwits pop?

Shit. And it, but for you guys, it's the Shriners. It's like a bunch of kids with like deformed limbs. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's weird, like the one, the kid that they got to narrate it is in a wheelchair. He's adorable, isn't he?

It's a Christmas. You've seen it? Yeah. They pick the one kid that actually looks like an elf. Do you think that was something? No, you just like, you just want to like give everything in your pocket to that. They pick the right boy to be the face of that. He's a likable little fuck, isn't he?

Oh my god. That's good man. Yeah. And he's like, and you can get this adorable blanket, which sucks. You'd be like, just keep the blanket. put it over one of you guys put it over your legs Shriner's got some cool fezzes though. I wouldn't mind joining Yeah, I like a good fuzz then there's this fucking I gotta show you man. There's a It's a rehab thing right Like people that go to rehab. A lot of practical jokes. Yeah, and I'm thinking I'm like, and they ran it so many times during the one episode

that I'm like, they must just assume that it's, it's like how the judge shows I'll have lawyers. Like maybe just drugies are sitting around watching your show during the day. Right. Could be. Could be. Hey.

So far I couldn't argue it. So there's this, there's this thing about rehab and the guy doesn't come off. He's like so stiff, the doctor. And at one point he's like, now you tell me what you get from this just this little bit right here the consultation is free and the referral is free if you have private insurance your treatment could be covered with no out of pocket cost so call the addiction that worked now it's over right no I wish my family had insurance I I couldn't have got the best help available Oh, that is weird

Weird as fuck ending to a commercial Yeah, because it doesn't really help anybody watching it because they're like yeah, how does that make you want to call Unless you do unless you unless you have good insurance That is weird The guy goes out of his way to say like if you have private shorts it insurance it may help and then the guy at the end Looks completely drugged out yellow as teeth you ever saw he's like sure to wish my my family had good insurance I could have gotten the best Which means he didn't

Which means he didn't go there I was just like who's like look at the camera's like looking down at the floor Which means he didn't. Which means he didn't go there. That's so bizarre. I was just like, who's- He's like, look at the camera, he's like looking down at the floor. Yeah, he's ashamed of himself. As he should be. But the point is, it looks like the commercial ends

and then they tag it with this, like, what the fuck? Like, it was so weird. That is funny. That plus the Shriners. I'm trying to watch you guys on the Jersey Shore fucking around. Yeah, I'm trying to watch it. I'm like, who knew anything with that? Um, I don't know. Yeah, you might be. I don't know. And they were pimping fourth season DVDs. Oh, yeah, trying to get me to buy shit. I can get you one. Yeah. Yeah. I can get you one. Yeah? Yeah.

I've got a fucking box in the center. Yeah, so I went shopping today and bought a bunch of shopkins. And she got a go cart. Like a go cart that I got her a fucking put together. Oh, that put together. You didn't pay for the, the, to get a put together by the store. Nah, it came from Amazon.

She picked a bunch of shit off Amazon. She's like, she's like, I want this and this and anything. Does it have a combustible engine? Nah, I think it's like a battery. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, my fucking Henry Ford. Christmas Eve. Yeah, you got the skills to put together a go kart that has a, that like runs on gasoline engine What I can do to a regular car Is I could fill the air and that's like I can change a tire I can fill the air most most what I can do centers around tires I could check the oil the transmission flu and I could put gas in it I mean so you could put you could put some of the the cleaning fluid in the Yeah, I could do it. Any fluids, yeah.

I can't cover. As far as like... And this is why this is what fucking annoys me about Edgar. One of the many things is like when I was younger, like going to high school, there was shop class. Something where I could have learned a practical fucking skill. Yes, exactly. But no, it was always like, no,

you had to take college prep classes. College prep, you go on the college, college prep. Well, to be fair, you were gifted though. They thought they saw the IQ test. They saw all the teachers saying he's super smart. But, you know, he has a so you're gonna be your problem. He has these tendencies. So your dad is just like, well, he's super smart. He's my boy's not gonna work with his hands. Yeah, he's not gonna be like me. Like he's a construction worker.

Yeah, he was like, yeah, you're gonna do better than me. You're gonna go out there and you're gonna be a I mean, come on, man, you've known me since fucking fifth grade at any point where you're gonna do better than me. You're gonna go out there and you're gonna be a lot. I mean, come on, man, you've known me since fucking fifth grade. At any point, where you're like, you might be a doctor someday. I think you could have been a doctor if you had the will

and the determination and the drive, but sometimes a drive isn't there for something for everybody a lot of people You know it takes a special breed to become a doctor my brothers a doctor like why is my brother doctor? Because he is the drive and the so great about it Yeah, it's weird though like that's a respectable thing to be well at a podcast or not You say just as many lives as that doctor from the email that I'm getting. Probably more.

And for free. I don't need insurance. People will say that insurance. And I don't have that. And kind of our fucking podcasters, nobody's like, I sure do wish I had insurance so I can listen to tell them to keep paying. They can go anywhere, like just grab a fucking signal off

and start watching something. I mean, it all seriousness, Q, I mean, since the announcement of the trial by fire, dot, dot, dot, dance coming up in the new year, I have been bombard it. Deluge. I mean, by people doing exactly what we asked them not to do. Yes, but understandably because they're terrified, because they tell me how much Tom Steve Dave is. Yeah.

I mean, I'm thinking like there's no disease that we can't be, if we're on our best, leprosy. Yeah. Maybe. Oh, Jesus himself. If that fuck a little shriner, if that little shriner's off, listen to Tom Steve Dave, you, we all fixed up that right now. Do you get any letters kind of going from what we want?

Oh we got it, we got enough to do so. Yeah you've been, I've got more than enough ammo for the prosecution to, to call into all your flaws. Excellent, there's the prosecution. There's more than I thought and there's some good points. More flaws? There were more flaws than I were than I ever realized shit I look at you and I think flawless I love you too and so I read emails I was like oh shit that's right

that's a good point well you're my attorney I got a seal that I'm trying to craft a defense around why how I can take those points. All these really good points, too, that these listeners are making. And try to defuse them. So do you think, okay, so you have the prosecution, you have the defense, and then you have the judge.

I think that you think that you're... Here comes the judge. Yeah, here comes the judge. Here comes the judge. Oh, there's no play that in front. What was that for? You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge.

You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge.

You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge.

You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. You covered the judge. Yeah, yeah, I think it was a Artist pig meat markham. I think it was flip Wilson flip Wilson. Yep Well anyway, yeah, Brian, but there is um from laughing People eat it up man It was like you, do you remember where's the beef? Sure, of course. That was like a catchphrase back then. 50-some-year-odd years ago. It was like a recurring character that would come on in just a minute. No, people would just say the line.

So he only peered once on that show? No, it has nothing to do with laughing. I think it dates back to the 40s Really, yeah, I don't know I can't remember what it was, but it was like a catch phrase. It says it's a pig meet Markham song a Comedy singer pig meet Markham first release in 1968 Here come to judge Judge It was a regular sketch on yeah row into martin's laughing done about the first season by pig meat Markham and its Subsequence seasons by Sammy Davis Jr

That one we just listened to a Sammy Davis. Wow. Here come the judge. All right But Anyway, do you think that do you think the prosecution will be able to sway me? Knowing how much I love this fucking guy. I think that I think that that that will be probably the biggest cause of a mistrial. Yeah Jerry the Jerry's the the Right, right, but there will I think that when's when's I don't I don't think there's anything I Literally could say that like that you murdered that little elf on The Shriner's commercial and the listeners still would be like, you know, would still vote in your favor

That's how that's how I'd be like if you must add his reason Get it to get him to provide pictures of you like slaughtering seals. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and wearing their wearing their fur and wearing and wearing mint coats and you still But it's the angry but it's only the people who say the emails I get to vote. No, I think it's I think what's No, we got to win over the angries This is how I thought it was gonna go down is that get him as one of the yeah, he's a mod as he calls himself Not in the good like 60s The mod on that site if he will create a post that will allow people to go

Yeah, but the only people who should be able to vote are the people who Who had a previous memberships who have previous memberships and complained. I don't know, you can't open it to people who are probably gonna do that though. Well, you know who's saying the emails? Literally, that's the four people who send emails with us, the judge, that's the jury. Yeah, I thought so, but I mean.

I mean, they're four heinous emails. Yeah, but we gotta get eight more angry men I thought I mean I thought it would just be Just open to the to the I mean there's no way you there's literally like I said There's nothing get them can do to win this trial Right now. It's just it's a force. It's a shame Right now it's just it's a force It's a shame. I think a record

Because that's how You've seen it. You've seen the the outpouring. Yeah At the mean greets for the ten-wings shows is that's been the topic that people have been talking about I mean is there a need to even go on with it then? Well, are we gonna have fun with it? Oh, yeah, well, we have fun with it. Yeah with it? Oh yeah well we have fun. Yeah. Let's go. Fun with it. But I never know. I mean, Hey, people thought fucking that Casey Anthony was going down. Right. I was just about to say, Oh, Jay was going to go down. Right. And they walked. So here I am thinking that you're going to, you're going to walk to, but maybe not. Maybe not. Dude, you can be the Casey Anthony podcasting. Maybe I'll take it too lightly and I won't have a defense for some

surprise surprises get him may have up his sleeve besides a fucking nasty bump. More lesions and lumps and this all over his body. I think I saw him in the background on that Triner's commercial. Your money can go to help boys with lumps from fingering chicks. Yeah, I read it to Walt. I got a message from a friend of mine official. Tell him Steve Dave Feminist on Twitter. Oh no, she wouldn't I don't know she Twitter and she says she heard it. That's pretty funny. She heard the episode where Gettom was blathering on the why how we got his lump. Yeah, how we got his lump. Oh, fuck, where is it? Why is it? God damn it.

Okay, I'm funny. She said that basically I'm paraphrasing, but she said that when when she heard it her Her vagina And and that if that's what's happening. He's he's doing it all wrong Really yeah, why do you just to hearing wrong. Is there really? Yeah. Why do you just assume that because you got a lump? Yeah. To me, I would think you're doing it,

you're doing it to... To destroy anything. I don't know. Is there a wrong way? Depending on who you are. I think a lot of girls would say, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of wrong way.

I'm sure a newest might not be the thing they want going on. And do you think he should get it, do you think he should get it removed or do you think now he has to just keep it being... Yeah, there's a lot of wrong with it. You're a newest, might not be the thing they want going on. And do you think he should get it, do you think he should get it removed, or do you think now he has to just keep it because? No, he should get it removed. Really? I think so.

I told him I thought that it was like, if you get it removed, then you remove, not only removing that, you're removing like when he walks into a store and he buys something and the girl at the, the girl at the clerk sees that lump and he's like, she's like, oh, how are you doing? I know what you're, I know, I see you're a modern day lover. Can we just back it out a second and see that? Without that lump's gone. He's out of play. I know more.

Well, first off, he was a player at the beginning with. Well, no, and he's, he's, isn't he committed in a committed relationship? So he shouldn't be showcasing it once once you're out and about. I mean, unless he puts a glove on it like Michael Jackson. Right. He should wear one glove at all times. Especially it works and none of the ladies that come in go crazy for. I know there are some guys out there though that even though they are committed and married They don't mind they wouldn't mind showing off What's it called like a war a war injury or wound a war wound That that gets people going like I don't think the average person though thinks that it's you want to know why because

Put forth theory that it's a theory. You want to know why? Because get a fucking putthorth theory. Yeah. It's not even, it's not acknowledged in any medical journals, more by any normal person. He's like, oh, the reason I have this giant sister is because I finger my girlfriend too much. I mean, that's, that's insanity.

Exactly. No cashier is looking at that lump. And then it it at him with anything but like oh Like reaching security handle the hand sanitizer I think it's I think it's now like a It's part of it. It's it's charismatic. It's a defining character

I think it's like I said it's like when the guys on that movie joys yeah they were showing their war there there uh... you know they're showing their injuries yeah yeah i think that's one that he got that he can show that like have you got you guys got one of these no yeah but he's making it up

it's like making a up. Thank God I don't and if I did I would have every move Speaking of jaws I brought you guys gifts you guys want to open? Sure on air yeah, it's on air. I think we do that one here That one's yours. This one's mine. This one's Walt's wall unfortunately those we got already. Oh you do Yeah, yeah, I was I was just about to periscope the unboxing of of this and now That one's yours. This one's mine. This one's Waltz. Waltz unfortunately knows what he got already. Oh, you do? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was just about to periscope the unboxing of this and now. Oh, well, he knows what he got.

But that's all right. Look at you open yours. I knew I was getting you something last night when I went and then I saw that and that was it. Then you saw it. It's all over. Oh, is the thing that I want to get him still available? It is? Oh, that's it. Forgive the box. Should I want to get him still available? It is. I'll try to do that.

Forgive the box. Should I give it to him on here then? I mean, it's not wrapped though. It's not wrapped. But it's fucking amazing. I want to buy you for your office. Oh, wow. Here's your home office.

Here. This old box was put to you. Oh, wow. I didn't get it. It's got you. Oh, wow, look how much it's got. Oh, my God, a spider man. I want to see. Spider man, sock. If you recognize what it is, don't look at that yet.

Don't look at that yet. Look at this. This. Looks like a leather baseball cap. It looks like a quintet. It is an exact recreation of quintet. Oh, really? Yep. Oh really? Yep.

Down to the strap is like salmon leather. It's an exact recreation of it. Wow. Should be a shark tooth. We're around in here somewhere. There you go. Goes in the little pocket up top. Oh yeah?

Yeah. This is like a shark I caught. Yeah. I don't know how it looks on you, but the second I saw it, I was like, I gotta get him for this is cool This is fucking cool. Yeah Look your pump come a cost that I just found that online somewhere

I was kind of looking for a jaws themed gift for bright. Oh, actually the one too. Yeah, it looks pretty good on you Yeah, yeah, look like the old man in the sea. Oh wow. I'm very happy with the way that looks on you Looking good I'm very happy with the way that looks on you. Lookin' good. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna offer. Well, they could have legally say it was a, it was Quint's hat, so they made like this cheeky city to avoid, but apparently it's to the exact specifications

that are universally inside off on it. Yeah. Oh, really? This is not a freshly universal hat. Fuck it then. Anyway, I'm gonna have to have the way it looks on you. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, I'm gonna have a new Christmas to it Yeah, Christopher's dude and then see what I got yeah How did he know how to walk now because you saw me wearing it on TV?

It a Jersey devil box like the box box Devil box. I like the box. Box is sweet. Yeah. The box is really nice. So it's just going to be all about the box now. How great your box is in mind sucked. It's a new Jersey Devil's, I guess, Christmas sweater. Well, that has to be, that's from tipsy elves, right? No, it's one of the Jersey devils but it's one of these things retail for uh... uh... uh... oh shit lights up lights up i cannot wait you're obviously gonna wear that around the girls right or where in a christmas

right and i mean but you're not gonna tell them that i can't tell my lights up that one what once we all sit down all right i eat that i'll go like all the way but we forgot to do something before you know before we dig in and they're gonna think this is a new tradition No, they're gonna think I'm talking about the saying a prayer right, right? I'm gonna be like pray to this bitches And I mean that would comes across all, yeah, because it says there are like, like, you have a girlfriend.

I'm not pregnant to some goals being scored. Yeah. To a new 2017 with all offense. That game last night was something, huh? Yeah, it was old school hockey, baby. That was fights. How is it? Tell me that, though.

How is a guy who can you turn it off? I want to read that comes out to The tree in the battery How does a guy who yeah conceivably? Just a couple weeks ago you were saying that you were hated yeah, re reviled only by the audience that I love the moment viled only by the audience that I love the moment that you are invited onto a new Jersey devil telecast to give color commentary yeah and a guy who worships at the devil's teeth yeah I will suck the devil's cock wow to fucking to be where you sat and give my opinions on the state of the devil. I think they went on TV and they literally well informed opinion and they literally are like

fuck you. They went to a jester. What do you get? What? I mean, is it all about? It's all about just rating, isn't it? And Brian Thiel Joker is, you're standing in the entertainment industry. It's so higher than and respected than,

well, or it's either that cue, it's either that or it's what I don't want to think it is. It's the fucking buck teeth and unfuckable taste. Right. Well, that has me not on a Jersey, Jersey devil's telecast the way you work. It was a boardroom discussion that went on for three hours. Your picture's next week.

The pros and cons came down to the unfocable. I think that, you know, I think in practical jokes got me through the door, but like, there is, I'm so grateful to Devils organization for memories that I have with my dad growing up, and then how he was a huge fan, and everything like that. I think that comes across. That's always what it's about, and I bring my dad every time I go. And he met Henry last night, and I've never seen my dad like this. He was hard to, like, he was like, jeez, he's like a teenage girl. He's he was like cheese is like a teenage girl he's like really yeah I mean I think this is a warmth to it that that I don't bring yeah maybe not maybe you don't open up yet that I don't bring a level of

enthusiasm and passion and so I have to say that like oh so if I were to be like well me and my dad Yeah, we we so I would have to fucking lie a guy who on every single on every single episode of the show we've ever done There is something devil's I wear you're wearing wear the colors Right, so it's so it's it's either it's either this there is no other answer. It's about teeth I told you I'm gonna say it was because compliments just on his popular The breaks I stay in contact with with with my friends in the organization I know that the players were all fans of I'm getting out of the way. I'm going to be a little bit more about the game. I'm going to be a little bit more

about the game. I'm going to be a little bit more about the game. I'm going to be a little bit more about the game. I'm going to be a little bit more about the game. I'm going to be a little bit more

about the game. I'm going to be a little bit more about him down. What the fuck know what I hope he gets traded I hope he gets traded before you get the fucking hang out Well, let me get straight to the Rangers No, this one gets well be gets fucking traded to Winnipeg fucking out in the boondocks Basically fucking you can fly out there and hang out with your girlfriend Just lock on grab this glove and put them down my pants I have to send them that. Just lock her and grab this glove and put them down my pants.

Yeah. Wonderful. Say you want to do shit like that. I see you don't show me. If I knew that's all it took, I had to act like a fucking ass clown. I can't go in to be just my knowledge of my passion and my literal experience of watching for 30 years is not enough. I have to be like

oh my god. I really got that's real text from him. Yeah. Wow. What's the problem? I thought you were going to put your shelf up there. Did I admit uncomfortment? I don't know if it ever aired that I made a Valentine's Day card for Patrick Johnson. Oh, it aired. Yeah. I saw. Yeah. If you ever made a card with a heart on it for your favorite player, I have not not yet. No. No. This is it's in the works. It wouldn't be not yet. Like that's my dad hanging out with Henry in the bowels of the of the

prudential center. Now you just wrote it. How far do you get up his bowels? That's pretty far. He's in his locker. Well, that's going to be a good thing. I did I've created a podcast solely about the Devils. Yeah. I have, I have worn memories of, uh, of experiencing devil moments. Yeah. My dad was in the room as I watched the game sometimes.

I have memories of dancing. I think dancing with, with holding my dog as if she was the cup in 1995 on that June night. And kissing my dog's belly as if it was the cup when they won that first cup. Somebody's looking through the window like something needs to be done about this guy Deb just closed his door The undercarriage I do think you kiss your dad's belly when they want the first time Nothing Why are you there and dummy? Why are you there, dummy? Why are you there, dummy?

I think that look, I hear something there, I think they like you, they're aware of you for sure. But you don't foster the relationship. You don't either. Don't tell me, I don't want to text a guy every week I text my boy over there. Just a bullshit about nothing. I got him a Christmas present.

What? Better not be a queen hat. Well, I got him a nice present. What? Better not be a quintet. Well, I got him a nice, expensive bottle of scotch. Last year I got him a nice cigars, you know. Yeah, you didn't give him any. You know, all about it. It's really that's what it's about. Yeah, being friends. Being friendly with people. Yeah, of course.

Keep your friends. Like for instance, for instance, people, I don't want to. I don't want them. I don't even abuse it. Tom Pettys, playing at the Prudential Center, right? How would you abuse it? They're not, they're, they're, No, no, no, because my guy is, is, my friend over there is, when he's, they run.

He didn't listen to anything at the time. And he, he said, never, ever, he had anything you want to come to, I bought tickets because I don't want to abuse. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, I, you know, what, what, I've never abused it. What, like, you're, you're, you're playing a finger at me, like, no, you're abused it or you would abuse it. I don't want to come to God. I bought tickets because I don't want to abuse. That's what I'm saying. You know what I eat? I've never abused it. What are you, are you're pulling a finger at me like, no, you've used it or you would abuse it.

You know I would never call it. I don't know. Oh, yeah. I have never, when I, what's the remains to be seen, I guess. I have never, I even my, one of my closest friends, I have never called them and like, hey, I'm taking my daughter to this concert. Can you get me backstage?

Right. Can you pull any strings? Never have I done it. I brought purchased everything just like just like you have yeah and still no calls ever come from the doubles Yeah, I never come mug That's what it's all about. It's not TV friendly. That's not true You know what we're gonna we'll go to a game. No, I don't want to do it on your fucking co-tales I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Just be like no with your sweater on be like Mary Christmas. Whatever the guy's name is with your sweater on It's so painfully obvious what I'm doing though Yeah, but you're a you're a likable guy like you just got to get in there and like mix it up a little bit You know that's not true. Now you're just saying it now Dad does that sweater later? No. Yes it does. I can see the wire. Oh yeah literally. It lights up right now but my heart will never light up again.

Girls do you know a lot of people kill themselves around the holidays? Do you think? Isn't that like last night or watching the game and the wrapping presents and I didn't even tell me you were on I went with my dad they were like hey, you want to do this? I was like and the wonderful that place he comes on says lovely woman Stay tuned for the guide co-intermission report. We're gonna have a special guest, Q from the apathical Joker's and everybody goes, isn't that your friend? And I'm like, yeah, that's my- Now they acknowledge it after years of saying you're a liar. And then you're going, well, how come you're not on there talking about the devil's dad? Right.

You're just like whipper out with your teeth, you're like, this is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! This is why! Boy, never ever be evil. Ah! Ah!

That's a fucking animal! That was fuckable! Don't look at me! Look away! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That's all the other shins bullshit about that. But the question was the question, how do you tell your kid?

What's the answer to that? We're like, why come you never got to go up and talk about stuff? I thought you loved it, Devils. That's the only thing you wear. You don't have any other clothes, but devil clothes You're I wish I wish Q was my dad Maybe I stop hugging that's up again, bro. I Mean the the whole the original team is here No, they're not me. We'll never do a puck magic. I would never want to do it again. Are you fucking kidding me? You

wouldn't have to just make splice. He just pop his head on the door. Oh, you're ready? That that thing is long gone. Wow. He's on the concert. He wouldn't be around a weekly to do a puck nuts. He's on some kind of circuit. He's either at a con and a party at this and holy shit. I've never seen such a busy fucking schedule. There's your gift right there in the window. Cute. Yeah, you got to get all the riddles right together to get some on it though.

Oh shit, that's awesome, man. Yeah, I've bought that before. I saw you on TV last night. It might have been a little different. I couldn't return it though. The stash hasn't no return policy. Should I carry over the gift that I got them? Should I carry over the gift that I got them?

Yeah, as he tries to get the riddles right. Well, I didn't think that you would be depressed by my gift. It's not the gift. No. It's not you. It's not the gift. It's not the gift. It's not you. It's definitely the organization, though, has. I think, come on, Jevel's a reach out for Craig. So they got really, like, you got really excited when I said you'd wear that on the air.

Yeah. Yeah. Who's the Adam Henryk was happy to hear that? Yeah, I didn't talk to him about it, no. We just moved. That's not what all those texts are about. Yeah, can you text them right now? Yeah, why don't tell Tim about it. No. We just just touched that. That's not what all this text you're about. Yeah, why should call him right now and fucking call the column and put him on the spot. Be like, why don't you pay any attention?

Just to do this. Can you do this? Can you say? Like we're in school like, Hey, Adam, do you like Walt? Yeah, sure. No one. Yes. And then if he says no, be like, I was just kidding. You didn't ask. And then if he says no, be like I was just kidding like I did an ass These wow all right I don't know to say we got a light in the mood a little. I'm gonna get you your print. It can't be that heavy, right? No, it's very light. So all right, you can't look you though Well, these are the these are the riddles I got you the

1966 Frank Gorshin Riddler McKette, but I've put Christmas riddles on the box that you must get before you're able to take a bow. I can already see I'm gonna have problems. Well, maybe Brian Johnson can help you before he gives you your gift. See, I like this. You put thought into it. It's of course sweet. Yeah, I like this, you put thought into it. Like it's, it's of course like sweet. Yeah, yeah.

I care about you guys. Thanks buddy. Why does Scrooge love root off the root? What is this? Well, I'll turn it around once. Once we're ready to, you get to unveil it. Once we're ready, yeah. It's not wrapped, but.

All right, well, it's a nice office piece. It looks like I'm looking at the back of what looks like a fish tank. Yeah. An octagon fish tank. But there's something inside. Okay. Well, what do you want to do that? You want to do the riddles? Okay. We'll try the riddles first. Just, you know, and cares. Just unveil the fish tank. Okay. All right. You ready for the

slow reveal here? Yeah. Check close my eyes. Yeah. All right. We'll spin it around. You probably seen it. He was here earlier today. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't seen it. I don't know if you noticed though. All right, just imagine this in your home office. You could not notice this. Okay, there you go. It's a Liberace stance. In a fish tank in a fish tank in in full sparkly Silver pants a silver cape. This is nuts. I got a dusted off. It's pretty dust from Somebody brought it in somebody brought it in right to sell this wasn't on the show. No, I didn't make it to the show I Compostated immediately knew that would be your oh my god. It's I mean, it's definitely amazing what oh

immediately knew that would be your Oh my god, it's I mean it's definitely amazing what oh my god that's great. He's in full fully take a picture of it. Yeah show Adam I don't want to see you right away put it on your balls like his gloves Yeah, that's that's great, dude. Yeah, I will put this in my office. There's no way anyone else would ever give you this. No, this is amazing. He's incredible.

I did a double take. At first, I thought it was Elvis. And I was like, wait a second. And then I was like, oh, it's even better. Fucking Liberace. Who the fuck made this? Why would they buy it? They've called him the happy office. Why did they pull him in a fish tank? I don't think this is just the display thing.

There's all glitter all over the fucking table. Yeah, this play case is not really, didn't come with it. That was, that's just, someone put it in there. Yeah, get him found that at a flea market. No. No, I said I have anything to do with get him. Now look at it, now he's debasing my gifts. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no now he's debasing my gift no no no I love it I love it from that freak oh my

god this is great I this is unusual that that's I thought you would appreciate the oddity of it all it's great dude I love it let's get on the fuck off the table I got a I got a cool one with table I got something fun spot to put him The case is dope because the case is mirrored in the back so you can see the back of him glittering and shit He looks great right? Yeah, it looks great dude Thanks buddy I think I know where he's gonna go

Alright Wow I think I know where he's gonna go. All right. Wow. So we're figuring out riddles. What we taught you said you were a breet your breet. No, no, I feel like it's down. Oh yeah, I do have something for you, my friend. I don't mean to sandbag you. Uh-uh.

Well hold on. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red Doze Rain, dear? Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red Nose Rain deer? Are these easy riddles like? These are because he holds every buck deer. That's pretty good. I want to go out that one. Why does Santa have three gardens? Why does Santa have three gardens? I know, I got this one because he has three ho ho ho's Is he because so he can ho ho ho? Kind of

What do you do? It's kind of there. What do you do? What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? crispy crispy get if you deep fry Santa Claus. Crispy cringes. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus? Boo, boo, boo, boo. No, what did the ghost say to Santa Claus? It would be somewhere XO is out there like fucking idiot don't know what panacea means but now you fucking can't get this easy riddle we'll have a

boo Christmas without you what I got that one either oh thanks buddy no problem oh man I'm gonna have to tell the doubles I can't appear on it. What was it hard to just watch them sit there shucking in jive in and not even take it seriously. I was answering my question and it was like, and the girl was like, Cue's about to talk. Ha ha ha ha. You said you had a good story for us tonight though. I had some come up. I was talking to my mom and apparently there's an issue that took place on the impractical Joker's cruise.

Like, what are you guys saying? Do you remember this? Yeah. I mean, yeah. I was talking about you and my mom was like, I don't think he likes me that your friend Brian And I was like what are you talking about why she was like well I didn't like the space monkey show which I which we knew yeah, and apparently I want to watch that well she walked out Which is for the best

I had some prepared material that didn't go over well. Yeah, it was like you were doing porn. Like, yeah, it was a practical joke. It was a fan fiction. It's less, yeah. And if she said she told you, like, she was kind of sedative, but like not, she was like just talking to you.

And she said you put on a face, dismiss her, and then want to talk to her for the rest of the cruise That what that she said no, she said something to me and I said am I is he still allowed to hang out with me Sound my mom said that's exactly what I said like joking around. Yeah, I'm like Basically, that's what she said you did and then and then wouldn't look or talk to her for the rest of the cruise No said you did and then and then wouldn't look or talk to her for the rest of the cruise. No. No. No. Maybe my mom on the phone. Alright. Let's get a three-way with so that I'm and re-crued whatever. So you don't remember any anything? Were you annoyed at her? Were you? Oh no not at all. No. Of course I wasn't annoyed. She

said it was it was weird it was a weird moment. Let's get her on the phone. Is it after one of the shows? The next day. It's going to be annoyed that I'm doing this. Hey, ma. Hey, hi, how are we doing? Good, good. I have a question if you have my friend brine johnson here uh... and uh... with discussing his snubbing and disrespect of you on the cruise oh god shake that you want your show yeah you're on the show ma

um... i thought well you break breaking up my You want to tell Brian what he did because he's denying this Oh she hung up on you I'm'm a tracking. She's there. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house.

I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house.

I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house.

I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll call the house. I'll tell you what I told you. Come on, Ma. She's not going to pick up, now she's home. How you know she's home? I don't know where else she would be. She should be cooking for tomorrow. Coming over. I'm shopping.

Jesus. Uh-uh. She might not get to the bottom of this. No, we will. This might not get to the bottom of this no we were It was I can't remember we did two shows one was Hey mom trying to call the house line you got it Hi go to the house line you got it no go to the house line alright

alright I know it's the way the queue is doing man we're on TV every channel I put on he's on I can't get away from the guy I'm watching devil so I wanted to see an idea can't get away from the guy watch the devil next thing you know he's in a shriner's commercial replacement the health

i'm i got us i got it okay uh... could you could you explain to to brion what what what he did fine can you hear me i can hear you yes okay you don't remember

well this is the way i remember it we did the space monkey show and i read some uh... some tasty uh... fiction that that that someone had written and put on the internet i was told later on that that you left. And you were far too the show that we're a little bit too morbid. Oh, so it wasn't even the... I know what it was. It was the... if I... Sal was up there, right?

And I said to Sal, I was like, if you had to go on one of these cruises and it was like a Make a wish foundation Joking on it and I felt terrible I Didn't think it was right and I walked out of the show So but you weren't supposed to know that and you was buying supposed to know that right? So the next day somebody actually told you and you were like rolling your eyes like saying, yeah, yeah, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're you and you were like rolling your eyes like saying yeah, like you didn't want to hear it. I felt like I insulted you and when I was trying to tell you that I thought you were a good person, you were going, yeah, you know, and you were rolling your eyes.

And then I didn't hear from you and you didn't talk to me for the rest of the cruise. And I said, I must have really insulted you by walking out. I didn't know. So I felt kind of bad about it. And I felt kind of bad about the other person who told you that she didn't ever send anything. I thought the other person was actually you.

You. I don't know. No, what did me. I know who it was. Should I say who it was actually you. I didn't know. I don't know. What's the need? I know who it was. Should I say who it was? Yeah, me, like she and the publicly. Yeah, it was Stacy.

Oh, Da, da, da, da. I never told you ever. I never said anything. But then it looked like you were hurt and you were set and will you rise up and it looked like you were given me the cold shoulder huh no i i remember up you're about to get so bad about it it was something i can do about it

i i remember up to the point where i i asked you and i was joking around i said am i still out to hang out with him? And you said, yeah, and I thought that we had like, that was our moment of mending fences. But I don't remember purposely ignoring you for the rest of the cruise though. I would never roll my eyes at you. I was also carrying around a bottle of Jim Beam for 90% of the cruise, so that could have been it too.

But I would never disrespect Mrs. Q well I don't have a conscience so I couldn't be upset by that it might have been something else but no I would never be it's It's Yeah, so can we look and can I look forward then to 2017 in practical joker's cruise? We'll be back to normal. We'll be back on friendly terms. Yeah, we'll be back. We never were well for friendly terms. I thought you were but not on my head. Oh, absolutely not. No. In fact, I forgot that Brian said he was going to call. Which is why she said when I told him not to call and then when he was on here, he was playing. Just to see if he was playing. I thought, oh, I thought you were at his house and, well,

do you want to come over for Christmas dinner tomorrow? All right, my soul. So you're saying, my, he did not, because last night it sounded like it was bordering on open hostility and disrespect. I never said that. I said that when when we were talking about you said he hated you. What? You said he hated your guts. And you said walk was bucktoothed and unfuckable. You said that, mom. Who has it? And you said walkers buck toothed and unfuckable you said that mom Give up with you too. I can't win. Oh, I forgot about it. All right, so nothing anyway you want All right, so so everything's okay then. It's all a

Kip ascetic Yes, I'm going to work on some new material that may not be so offensive as kids cancer Cruces. I'll tell you what, my one point at the Space Monkey 2017 will have you up on stage And you you you can guide the show You'll see Have you ever heard a roller roll? All right, okay, my so so everything's okay's okay all right I love you mom yeah everything's fine I love you too I believe it in not blind

I have a good Christmas wow holy in Dutch with Mrs. Kio can you ever thought maybe you know making them play for Ambassador It's a Trump's team man. You're bringing people together. Maybe bring it to fucking Middle East solved Yeah, I don't know if I'd fit in that, but you know what are doing our part Usually we get something from AMC, but this year they gave a donation to the Syrian Children's Relief Fund, aren't they? I think I got a mailbox.

I was like, I can give them. Oh, no, a lunchbox? Yeah, that's from original. That's the dollar-buckish. A mailbox. It sounds like a box. It was a festive mailbox. I heard about Walt's pension for them.

Yeah, I had to get that settled. Yeah, well, that's good. It's been ironed out. It was, I mean, if she is not in my eyes, let up, put your towel there. I thought it was the porn stuff. The other shit, like, she had walked out by that. Yeah, I thought, Sal choosing amongst the cruises I thought was pretty funny. But I thought everyone's cup of tea for sure.

That's definitely not my mom's. Even some of them, I think, the impractical jokers, like people who are like, oh, who's this guy? He must be a joker too. Yeah, not really. Not so much. Alright, I'd die in that out. Okay. I got an update on a very on that ant who asked for your guys advice. Oh, okay.

A final update. There will be no more updates after this. She's not allowing them to. He's he's developed a lump on his hand. Things are better than ever. This is a refresher guys memories. This is a regarding the the ant who asked for the advice about his gal not allowing him to watch Game of Thrones. Yeah, Game of Thrones. And and Television programs of that. Anything with titties. He chose to take

Um, yeah. He chose to take somebody's advice. Broke up with it. He talked his penis on a watch TV, no more. He talked his balls inside of pink panties. And he knew you would say that. Where's some bikini cut me on these? You know what you wrote me? Absolutely. Um, I want to thank you guys for your honest opinions I'd like to let you know that I've decided to just continue to watch the shows

Like Game of Thrones and private rather than try to convince my girlfriend to enjoy them with me I've even come to decision that if I had to completely give up these shows I would wow What a bag I Know how I must sound to Brian. But then he but then he get then he fucking written that he put this girl is worth it. Okay. Oh, yeah. I'm sure she is. I even took your advice. Well, and found myself enamored with normal television. Oh, God. I like watching reruns a king of queens. It's so much better than Game of Thrones. Oh, it's fucking

a hundred times better. Oh, you've never even seen one episode. I've seen, I've seen the Game of Thrones. Who does your wife know? Quinn pops up at one point. He's a swordsman. I've never been happier. Oh boy And even plan on proposing in February. Holy shit what a douchebag Wow, well, you know what? Thank you again a loyal aunt forever. What's his name? I'm like I give his name No, well, and loyal aunt forever. Well, he's from, I don't even want to say where he's from. I just don't want to get him in trouble with the show. Yeah. No, I just don't want to ruin the surprise. In case there are, I don't know if his girl leave. Oh, I wonder if she, if you do. Oh, yeah, she sounds like a listener. She really sounds like somebody who gets it. Um, wow. How old

was he again? That's incredible. He can look back at his life When when things go when things eventually go explode and go wrong and be like that was the moment I went left when I shit went right. Mm-hmm. It's rare most people don't have that ability to be like That's when I had the the escape that so cock sure that he's gonna have that moment He's not a chance that he's can look back The moment when he took the right advice maybe like 50 years from now and he's on a front porch and he's celebrating his career. Drinking with his audience. Drinking with his allow to drink. He's got three generations of ants, you know, their, to colony to celebrate the the

these kids are listening to us the longevity of his marriage here there's not a chance that it could go that way i think it's a matter of time before she forbids him from listening to tell us the dav i think that uh... he if she even knows she does definitely doesn't know he's pretty tired of it why would she why which why would she

Ever think to for for Bade tell them Steve Dave to know nudity Oh, not the she knows It's audio after all saucy language unpopular opinions. I don't think language is the is the problem here. Well, we're at step one We gotta go down this road. Language will be a problem. Yeah, it's it's little by little man.

Water on a stone. That's what he's giving up his right. He's like, yeah, is he going to look back and be like, I'm sure glad I didn't watch those shows because if for fucking whatever reason, he never actually offered a solid reason as to why she didn't want him to watch them. This doesn't like tits. You can't do you hate someone who restricts you.

You gotta be with someone that allows you to set you free. And he's not there. It's a lot of like, it's a lot of words, you know, that, the chirping of words that, you know, like to go to words, the words that, you know, but that's not reality though. No. Reality is you fucking do what you're told. They got him, Henry does what he's told. For this Christmas Suzanne was making

something for my brother. It's like collage of pictures. I get dream board. Yeah, she's like someday will be married. And you can watch Game of Thrones if you want. Now, she's making this collage and she's looking for pictures of his pets. Oh. Now, these are all dead pets. And as I'm going through the pictures, I mean, my mother has these fucking big plastic bins of like, that's cool. That's cool, right? So, you know what?

At first it was cool and then it got to the point where I was like so fucking melancholy. Like, I'm looking at pictures of myself, like when I'm young, up until, and I don't know if this is just like something I noticed, but up until the point where my grandmother dies, like every picture before that, I'm like, hey, like big smiles and shit.

And then, and I don't know if it's because, like I'm getting older, becoming a teenager, like I'm not smiling, is not a joke. But I'm looking at all these, like, these dead people. And then I even said to her, I'm like, I don't know. Christmas, do you wanna give somebody like, hey, here's all the pets that used to be alive, you know? It's who is this for? This is for Darren, my brother Darren.

That's a rough, that's an unusual present. Yeah. I mean, I like the thought behind it. Yeah, she just wanted to like, cause it's just a jumble. Can you just give him pictures of like past Christmases without pets? Like when he's younger or when you like, you know, little, well, that's what I suggested because I saw all these pictures of him. of like past Christmas's without pets might be a little heavy because you're just like, oh, well, they're not here anymore. I did make me think though,

like if you have a pet that you love, don't bury it, like get it cremated. And then you put it in your house and if there's ever a fucking house fire, that's the one thing you can guarantee will go unscathed right you get everything else will burn but you go in there you're like there they are there is just like I left them now if you get it if you get it stuffed it won't burn cream it now cream it oh creamy

no taxidermy taxidermy would be fuckingermy would be fucking weird. I wouldn't want that with any of my pets. Who is this, then? Would you do that thing when you could clone your pet? Did we talk about this? No, I remember you looked into it. I looked into it and someone from the company reached out to me and I'm having a moral quandary right now. They talked to you about it a while.

How did they reach out to you out of the blue? Probably on Twitter. Yeah. Why out of the blue? Because I talked about it on I mentioned it on Twitter. Okay. And they were like, Hey, give us a call. We'll talk to you about doing it. I mean, they weren't like, we'll do it for free or anything. But why are you? Why are you? You know what I mean, but why why why But like I don't know like I'm having them You know like a moral spiritual moral help because because when Ben like I'll say the data Benjamin goes hopefully many years from now It's a clone of him. It's not the same cat. They even say it's not a same person alley and stuff. There could be anything and two by like basically creating a cat as opposed to going to a shelter and just rescuing a cat there. That's the issue for me. Not the science. No, no, it's not the science behind it. It's the he's like, I am God Like Baldwin and Melis, what do you think they're praying to Walter?

Yeah, so I don't know if I want to defend you anywhere Switch I want to get him to be your defense No, I don't know just feeling a little fucking melancholy run across maybe it's first the holidays. I just might turn again. You got to be professional. You got to put aside your fucking personal feelings. What if we have, what if we were to switch roles? No, I'm not having a get him.

I thought he was fucking quick to show it today. I thought he was going to represent yourself. That would be the challenge though. No, I'm going to be a challenge of his slaughter. No! A client with Gidem is an yourself. That would be the challenge though. No, that would be the challenge of this slaughter. No! A client with Gidem is an attorney.

It even bigger fool than if he represented himself. You're making it difficult though. How? Why? I mean, you're just like, you're boasting about all your clones catchin' up. Oh, man, I'm boasting about like that, you're having companies that clone. Yeah.

That you know, people... And that cell phones like a bunch of Nigerians. So I should have left that part out of the story. Yeah. So let's come, let's edit that out. And have the conversation. I still know it. I can't edit it from my brain.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're shitty. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Why am I shit? Because people who really who are like are struggling, I People who really who are like are struggling like they daily you know like the L.P It's like how Like Quince like I got a free clone

I'm not gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever.

I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever.

I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm gonna last forever. I'm the ride right. Okay. You're right. You're right. You're right

I'm right. I just had a moment of clarity I'm gonna join Reddit right now I'm gonna get the mod to fucking pre-dead my memory zone attorney to fucking pre-date my memory paper. I can move against him. He's on attorney. Oh man. Oh. Alright, so you're...

You tell it... Clarely. What a jerk. You told the Twitter phone... account that you would consider it? I haven't answered him yet. How long you've been left left and' out? A couple of months. And you still think that there's a chance for you now to reply to that to that response? Yeah. Or I could

just pay to have a cat cloned. But if you got it for free, let's say it was for free. Yeah, okay. You wouldn't do it? Well, I don't I don't know what to do because it would be cool to have a clone. Yeah, kind of would. You don't know what let me give my shout out right now. Imagine like something goes wrong like wrong big time. Yeah, I remember they tried then they do that with the boys from Brazil. And now you got a Hitler cat. Yeah. Right. We're in the boys from Brazil. All fucking Hitler clones. I don't know where they. You didn't wait. You're in the boys from Brazil all fucking Hitler clones? I don't know where they? You never see the fucking movie? It was based on true story. I didn't see it. You look it up. A whole little

Hitler cat. I don't know where this I think oh via gen pets There you go But usually something goes wrong when you're clone Yeah, I get's gonna go fucking crazy. Yeah, but they've done it and they they've done it successfully Like this is what they do for a living what's the longest living clone that they have out there in a real world Uh, I don't know mate. You know what? Why don't I reach out to them and see if they want to come on and talk about it? You've any interest? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, I'd be interested in that just to hear their process how they How you get into the business? I did notice what I saw when you were talking about it because it was on what say you right?

You were talking about it on what say maybe I don't remember and I looked at their Twitter account. They didn't have very many followers. No but But I mean, what do you think? What do you think of it? I would I'm going I would rather spend my money on putting it into like something like a Syrian children's relief fund. A replicant cat like like blade runner. Blade runner. Where the dog was for four years, the blade runnerance. Oh, that's because they had a they had it. That was a safety measure. Yeah, what about like a terminator cat with like end of skeleton? You're talking about you.

It sounds awesome. You create something that's not to do that. You never have to worry about your pet. And then when I die, they just crack his neck. Oh, I'm sure that I'll bury him alive with you like Egyptian. I'm sure it'll be a line of people who want to take care of a cat that was once owned by Brian Quinn.

Yeah, but I can't just get- I can't get Benjamin reek in the head of the line. I can't get Benjamin to just anybody. Well, I'm sure maybe- I'm not going to get- I'm sure in the time- In all the many years to come you'll find somebody worthy to take care of the cat maybe I don't know Well also maybe maybe make it so since we're creating a replicant cat. Yeah, let's make it so smart that it doesn't even need a human

Okay, all right right We don't want it so smart at plans use funeral Well, I mean then we're getting around to like why I want to Like his cat smarter than Q. It's like a dumb dumb. Dumb dumb. It talks to your mic results. Oh, dumb dumb.

That would be amazing. Yeah, it knows all kinds of languages It's speaking to me like Sanskrit or whatever I'm written right is not spoken. Yeah, it's written down. What's our man? I would smoke our make I think I think like possessed people are always talking Now that we live in a world where you can clone your animals. Yeah, that's it. Some of us for free. Yeah. Are we that far away from maybe not in our lifetime, but are we in inevitably going to

come to a point where we can create a synthetic pet that won't age? I don't know. That won't, you won't have to train to like do potty or age. I don't know. That won't, you won't have to train to like do potty or anything. That day's coming. So it doesn't have to wait. So is it like a robot? So they have them in Blade Runner as well.

All the animals are free. But it looks, you don't have to, it comes out of the box train. Train. To do what you want it to do. And you know, they don't have to worry about like, you know, training it or like you sit and roll over. It's just it has all those things. But like a Furby, the more you interact with it, the more you can teach it things.

But like out of the box, it just has the basic knowledge of what everybody tries to teach the basics. There's a show, there's a show called Black Mirror where it's on Netflix. It's a pretty good show. And that's basically the theme of one of the episodes, where like some guy dies, and they get the girl a new boyfriend, he's like in his 20s or something, and he just tries to appeal to her as the guy would, but he doesn't really know, like since he doesn't have any of the knowledge, he looks exactly, he has to learn like a Furby right and um I doesn't draw on black mirror and other

you ever goes right now everything is wrong black mirror is a fucking good show though yeah it is would you be interested in something like that existed no you'd want the real thing I want the real thing want to go retro well yeah to do something to a live. But it's the we got the clean and war little boxes. All right, you probably don't clean your room. I could. 50 50 percent of the times that's a yeah, they're 50 catch. It's all playing. Github told me he gave up on it, but he almost had one of his cats trained to go into toilet. Apparently, it's not that hard to do Like I think it's very good. Well, they sell these things that are that are essentially like litter boxes that go under their sectioned litter boxes

That you put in the toilet and the cats learn to shit and then you take out the middle section Oh really and then I'm still shit in there and then you take out another It doesn't fall in the water and eventually well eventually there is nothing there But the cats trained to go on a toilet to piss and shit Oh That's gotta be difficult right cuz cats are not easily trained well It's like it's that thing of you. It's not really training. You're just you're just making them You don't train them to shit in the litter box like like a newborn kitten if you put if you want

Maybe not newborn, but like, you know, like a three-month-old kitten, you don't, if you just show where the litter box is, it will automatically go there to shit and piss. You never have to be like, this is where you go. Why is that though? Cause they have an instinct to bury. Yeah.

It's ingrained. It's again, it would be against nature for them to do it. Right. And make a mess on your kitchen floor. They do it for reasons, but it's very rare. Yeah. Can you imagine your clone to cut? Shit, and all over. I mean, I don't know how they do it wrong.

You would know. You would know, because you know how they inject it and then just the DNA into an egg. And then the egg just firtles, you know, grows. A cat egg. Cat, yeah, female cat egg. I don't know, any egg. Yeah, I can't buy one of the store.

I can't buy one. Chicken cat. That's what I'd be interested in. What? Cross-reading. Yeah, combining two species into a new pet. If they're willing to do it for free, can you ask them about maybe combining like

some sort of like creating a hybrid of sorts. I mean, we're gonna ask them, we'll get them on. I mean, I know I probably are again, I don't, but is already laws other than the laws of nature that they're breaking? I know you can. Can I make a turtle dog? There's one of the same dog in a shell.

I know there's laws against cloning humans. We got to imagine that's been done already, right? Who broke that? Who? Do you think there's clones amongst us? I would say that they did they achieve it and then kill the clones, so like, because they didn't want to get caught. Does a clone have any rights? I would say so. Yeah. Because it's basically in vitro fertilization, right?

Like it's like, remember that test too test tube baby what a big deal it was Yeah, yeah, I think because it's a natural process. It's just the The initial thing is so you don't clone it and it's automatically like a fuck 30 years old 20 year old. No, it has to grow from just like in like a normal Human being how is it not been? Like, how could it have not been? I would think that that's crossing. As a scientist though, that's crossing a line that is very

difficult to cross knowing that like you, knowing how much shit you're going to take for doing it. Yeah, but so. Well, that's why they stick to like the shadows. No, they stick to like sheep and rats Right, but you don't think this and I know there's some Yeah, there's some fucking like like hot shots like I got to be the first one to clone a human Justine locking Like I got to do it first even though it's against all the laws of nature and man. I don't care

Yeah, I need some press man. I don't care. I need some press. No, they don't want press on that. Well, I mean, I think the research is like they're cloning human body parts. So what they'll do is like if you need a heart, they'll clone your own heart to put it on. But how do, yeah, I'm not smart enough to know how is it that they can just create that one body part without the rest of the body around they grow it like on like you seen those

3d print ears and shit like that using bioorganic material That's just for that's just for aesthetics though. It doesn't work that year open I mean that's the starter the fucking wax years no no no no they could actually make like human wax year What's up? You want me to look at work though? It might look good. They may look good It's just a fucking waxier. No, no, no, no, no, they could actually make like human waxier. What's up? You want me to look at it? I can't work though. It may look good, but it can't possibly.

A 3D printer, that's like saying, if you print a 3D printer of a gun, it can fire a bullet. Sure, you can. Yeah, they do. Absolutely. It has to be put together though, but it's just be the outer shell of a gun. Absolutely not.

They can 3D print moving parts inside of things. That's, that lawn'ss cross that's gone. So if you 3d print a car it has a combustible engine. That might be that might be this so I don't have to put it together. That might be a little advanced at this point but I know for a fact that they've 3d print D print an Xbox it fucking it's gonna work on Xbox well Xbox electronics I think that's different but I don't think we're far off from it that's the look I gave his mom I'm a crazy man is it rolled rolled my eyes 3d bio printing of tissues and organs could they could they 3d printed giant cock and like attach it to you if you had like microfellas? Here.

Well I've got to do that then. Functional 3D? Well if you had the need for it. Some guys don't. Yeah we know. Yeah. So far. Shut up guys.

I got my 3D printed going. 2D file. Well you need to tissue. That's where the hard part comes in Yeah, we gotta get some and what did it go and what all right and what it get erect Right I sure hope so because the one I got now Researchers in North Carolina have announced they have printed ear bone and muscle structures and successfully implanted them at the animals printed ear, bone, and muscle structures and successfully implanted them into animals.

The structures have to be implanted, matured into a functional tissue and sprouted new systems of blood vessels. And their strengthens, I always mean that they could be implanted into humans in the future. What about a penis? They haven't mentioned anything. They just Google what about a penis?

Look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, fucking ear, dude. It looks great. It's a good looking ear. But do you think a penis would work? I think eventually a penis would work? I think eventually a penis will work It's this eventually like yeah You got that you get there, but you think it could get it could work as a functioning like pop and rods

I hope so Why do you have a good? If I take that clone penis I'm gay fucking put your own oh walks in his legs a kimbo with his own fucking 3D cock his ass

science it can't come So don't give me that face You don't get science dummy For that idiot dumb dumb You just brought that out of sex shop that's a fucking dildo It's early stages. Eventually I better get here. Oh, eventually, right?

Everything's always eventually, isn't it? We got the ants, where are you going? We just wish everybody America is here. Yeah, we got one. It's for a guy in Ant. Oh, we got it? We've been doing this. Oh, yeah, we got one like like Is this for Vyah John butterwinks? Like it's like a butterwinks type thing. I like I like this someone reached out to you Yeah, this is a guy who made my favorite

picture of Me and Sage he took it and he drew it and he put it on a piece of metal, like a metal sheet. It was pretty fucking impressive. Where is this? He made a sheet metal piece of artwork. Let me see here. And he's a long long long time. What's his name? His name is Shit Mike his name is Mike

Is this the guy that you tried to get into the one of the live shows and he couldn't get in? Yeah, I didn't have the juice together to one of our own shows You were definitely trying and then you said you can get my eight-year-old in, no, that's a different guy. No, no, no, that's a way. What is this guy live? This guy lives in, I don't know, I don't know where he lives. Do you know anything about this guy's business? So I do. This is this is the colorized version of what he did. That's colored metal. That's colored metal. Yeah. Any anybody did a black and white one that looks. That's unbelievable.

Yeah, it looks pretty fucking amazing, right? But his name is okay, here you go. Need a t-shirt design, logo, mock up, or custom portrait created. There's a guy, okay, here's where he lives. He lives in Iowa. He does it all and he's offering an hour free to new customers. An hour?

An hour. What is that? That's a long time. I don't know. Probably you're going to have to contact him. Probably the time it takes to print the metal. Possibly. Probably it takes longer than an hour to know if he's offering one hour for free.

Maybe it takes two. He's giving you 50% off. I'm going to I'm going to tweet this as well because this is like some pretty long. Is he sending that metal to you? I got it. You got dude. I got it. You got it. I got it. Oh wow.

It looks great. Yeah, that looks good on you, man. I'm glad I was looking. I'm like, Quint, here's just swimming with bolegate women. Mike Ludwig, email him at MC at illpipedesign. ILLpipedesign.com. The illustration pipe, the home of diversity and design, crawling to the pipe.

IlPipeDesign.com. And on Instagram and Twitter, he's at T-E-S-D forever. This is some guy, man. Yeah, he's been a long time listener. Yeah, forever. And so you could take like your favorite photograph, let's say, send him the image and he'll make it turn it into some beautiful metal artwork that you can hang somewhere. Yeah, I'll tweet a picture of it.

It looks fucking really good. I'm on it right now. It looks crazy. Did he put it up there? Yeah, he did. Okay. So go to his website that way. I don't have to do it.

It'll pipe design. Yeah, he did a really great job. He really good. To him. And that's it. That's it for T-shirts, designs, logo, mock-up, custom portraits. All kinds of shit. He's gonna hook you up with huh

You'll pop design. Yeah any anything of any last things heading heading into the New York do anything last bit of business Anything you want to say as to six 2016? Is this the last show at 2016 or we think we'll do one more? I don't know. Okay. In case we don't, I could do one next week. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Don't save it then. Maybe, why don't we come on New Year's resolutions next year next week? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I have any in mind? Not yet, but no.

No, I never stick to them. I was 2016, man. Fuck him. if fizzled like a fucking way now princess laya maybe dying Star Wars shit. Oh, I did I liked it a lot man. I was really into it So did I I went into it thinking that it was a continuation of the force of weakens Okay, not Nellie. So I was really pleasantly surprised and confused as the longer it went on. I'm like, where the fuck is everybody? This enjoyable. I really like it. Now can I ask you a question because we were having a debate about this, so let me get them. The lead. Yes. And the gen. And Fios. what was the other guy's name the herb the guy who was the assassin. Oh, okay. I don't remember his name, but I know you're talking about I can't remember his name is either

Did one of those two characters? Have feelings for the other I? Don't think so you don't think so I think that bullshit at the end, all that stuff going on, was they knew they're about to die and they were just like, basic human contact at this point would be alright. What about you, Brian? That's kind of the way I felt too. I thought that they were purposely not going for the romance. Really? Even though that's what people expect. So you think that if Casio, or whatever that dude's name was, if he was, let's say he was one of the aliens, like Admiral Akbar, a planet that he lived on, you think they would have had that moment or they would, or at the beach? You don't think that he totally changed his whole way of thinking based on her, with no proof whatsoever.

No, I didn't get that. I got like they just knew they were about to die. And that was that. Get them. I maintain that I thought that there was some sort of affection for one another and get them maintain that there was absolutely no affection there. Well, one day of the only scene that they were kind of on the same page was when they were on the oven for before they left and she gave that speech. Well, no, because he said like what proof do you have that your father built this fail safe device in a dark, I have no proof. Right.

So he still has his orders to kill her father and he doesn't. Why is he doing that if he's not if he's not somehow touched or Feel something for this this person. Well, it could have been a dude and still he might have been like Oh, so you just go with his gut instinct. So you think that she had that they had the same relationship They had the same level of relationship that the the blind guy and his man servant had no I don't think so because those guys were clearly together for years and friends for years. No, no, I'm saying if that was the only person that one of those two guys was the only one left at the end on the beach,

she would they would have had the same kind of hug at the end. I think something to that effect, yeah, I think so. All right, hug you, Kew. You were on the beach? That was a very deep impact type ending, though, right? That was a look. You're telling me she would look in a lobster's face like that. You're telling me, like, I think I agree with you.

I think maybe she grabbed his claw. You mean a literal lobster or like a alien? No, you got alien, what's his name? I mean, I may be something to it that he was a human. A human? Yeah, that attractive human. That maybe she was a robot guy, the wisecrackin robot.

Alan Tudic, Tudic. She would have hugged the droid on the picture. She could have held the droid tape. Maybe not the droid. The droid's not alive. Well, they sure have personalities and we love them. Yeah, but she might have had, I think she would have had a version of that

with the droid. I think so, yeah. See, I came down and get him hard. I was like, I don't think you understand, like he would love. Because he says he doesn't understand, he doesn't get sarcasm, he says. It's hard for him to, like he says,

sarcasm is hard for me to decipher. I don't see it. I don't see it here. Oh, and I said, I don't think, I don't think, I think some things are going over your head I go because how are you not seeing that while they didn't have time to develop a relationship, there was something more there than just,

what was there for the other page? They just went through hell together, like specifically those things. Why bring him back into the scene though? Well, I'm not remembering when he, when he, because initially you look like he died, right? Well, that's not surprising. But yeah, when he fell on that platform

and then he came out. But why bring him back just to kill him two minutes later though? So she didn't have to do it alone probably. Yeah, I mean, that's that's much more powerful. I don't know. It's debatable, but I mean, I think it's hard to argue with that that choice though that I think it's amazing that they killed them to begin with. I say I'm under the I'm under the um um but why you don't like it if even if let's say I like it. Oh I like it. Uh let no I mean like even if it was a romantic moment

you does that make it less feel? No no I'm saying that I just didn't think it um I was I came down on I was pretty rough on him today he was uh he was basically a droid. Yeah I do agree with that as opposed to every other day for different reasons. I had apologize to them, I guess. Well, no, you don't. I'm not going to, but it's in the elevator. I should not going to happen in the elevator when they were going down to their death and they shared that moment where they were looking at each other. There was a part of me that was like, oh, please don't fear this until like romantic territory. like now, that would suck. But then when they got to the beach and died in hell hands, I thought they did a good job of avoiding that.

I thought. You don't think there was an attraction by end, but either of them, none of them was like, she's hot, so I'm sure he was attracted to her, but, you know. You don't think he was swayed by her hotness to change his whole, like he defied his orders. No, that I don't think so. So what was it then that made him defy his orders? I think she planted down his head. Yeah, like I said earlier, like just gut instinct.

He's like, there's something there that he believed her, her hotness. It's just like, well, it's a hot chick. So probably she knows what she's talking about. Or I'll just defy your orders for later on down the road. I won't kill her dad. He's a fight orders Constantly though in hope of some he didn't go he had the shot he didn't take it Then he gets back and then they're like let's go do it ourselves. He go he does it. He goes and steals a ship right You're saying that it there wasn't a little bit more to his decision than being just like I got a good vibe from her Like I think she's telling I didn't get that. No, I didn't get that. Get him didn't get it either. Right. Well, you

wouldn't get him. He doesn't get sarcasm. Yeah. Well, I didn't think it was a sarcastic love, no matter what. He has to get sarcasm. He has. He says he struggles with it. Yeah. He said he doesn't know at all times if it's like you like you say something sarcastic He doesn't know if it's sarcastic or literal I wonder if he's playing fire What if he's playing up these autisticy things he doesn't like that what don't call him to question his well because be People have said like he's a bullshitter. He's not autistic or Spurshgers or whatever. He doesn't like that.

Well, I said playing up. Yeah, he doesn't know. He did that. That is the equivalent. Oh, you're the shit we get him, likes? That's the equivalent of, the fuck am I worried about when he looked? That's like saying, you're not an ethnic enough

if you're a certain amount of... Oh, like, oh, really? Yes. Oh, I don't wanna do that then. Then don't ever do that again. All right. Aspergerish. So I to fuck it just accept it. You got a dance around this feeling from that one I was being sarcastic. I'm not wearing that get a mish

Tell him Steve Dave Steve Day. It's Walter again, though how he upsets me I'm just gonna tell him that you're sleeping It's creamy and that's joyfully because you're on a day ja You are the best, it's on a day ja Nobody best with it We love no buy run, 10 is simple, boys, guys, Double TV, VHS, or course, yeah, rap is add up, Rap is a bit of it, can never assume it's too much of a blow, Get a little better, church will burn a cow for us No big buzz, it's leaving off you to no purpose

And I'm pretty sad, no little wee-wob The wizard of us, there's no stopping, sun legend Sun legend If you ever find yourself in this situation where you're speaking to everyone in the world all at once, just tell them you're normal. He likes to breakfast, fish that Danny's. He always seems to say the right thing. So Walter, he's number one. Mother, Flutter, and Son of a Gun. This has been the production of Smodco Internet Radio.

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