Tell Em Steve-Dave - #343: Meet the Progressives

Episode Date: July 8, 2017

Walt buys two toilets, Q fears for new New York, Bry mourned the death of the bikini car wash. Music: Dangerfields - Embers

I want to go to Bleaker Street at 2am. Alright, I'll take your vomit, your piss. I'm gonna put my hat on my dad. I sure blind you see color. And I don't want to fucking hear otherwise. There's a... There was James indeed. There was all sorts of... I'm not. I'm not gonna work tough. here otherwise. There's a, there was James indeed. There was all sorts of

going to work. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave, where we're in the middle of what we call toilet talk. Walt was shopping for new toilets. What happened to two new toilets? Two new toilets. What are you eating over there? That's here. You need two new toilets at the same time. My house is built in 2003. These are the first new toilets since we moved in. Oh, I said toilets should last longer than 13 years. 14 years. Well, it depends what you're doing on this toilet.

Each lot of pieces and pieces. So, I'm finding up the pipes. No, but it's not even the pipes. Well, how long do you think a toilet should last? The toilet in my house on the basement now. It's been running on 25, 30 years. And a toilet to my friend's house, original to the house, and that was built in the 1920s.

Well, I'll tell you this, I think that when my house is built the builder probably didn't put in any dust. It's on the toilet. No quality toilet. Put the low quality toilet in. Put the poor toilet in the neighborhood. But is it the inside like the flushing mechanism? You're talking to the unhandiest man alive. Well, why did you have to replace it? My wife goes, we need to go get new toilets. That I understand. Toilet boy, get over here. But when you flush it, like what makes it not work? It's the chain. It's the which we've gotten replaced a couple times, but then it starts leaking and it's just time to turn the screen. This toilet's on the upgrade. Hey man, I'm with you.

Hey, Q. Yeah. Says here. Okay, I'm going to read about toilets a little bit. All right, let's get into it. A low-flesh toilet is a porcelain unit with a detachable seat and working parts in the tank sounds like what you have walked. Working parts in the tank are normally made of metal and plastic. There are also feed pipes that run from the wall pipes to the tank in the wax seal

that prevents the toilet from leaking all over the floor. The parts with the shortest lifespan are the working parts inside the tank. Once those parts start going bad, it's best to replace them, but that should take 15 years. So did you move into your house when it was brand new? Yeah, 2003 was built.

So that's an original toy. And that's also a kit though, like you could just replace that easily. Well, I will be upfront though. This is the first time we're replacing the whole unit, but over the course of the years in the house, we have replaced the inner working so the toilet, not yet, but a fresh old plumber. Right, real bad.

But just jarred my memory. I bet you I'm the only man at this table who has actually replaced the toilet or helped another man replace a toilet. I bet you'd be wrong about that at this table who has actually replaced a toilet or helped another man replace a toilet I bet you'd be wrong about that you did your place a toilet and you have to get that wax ring just on right If you fucked a wax ring up, it's a shit storm. You got to start all over again. Well Edgar was doing it with me So I didn't do it myself because I would fuck up that wax ring just like yeah, I did to I helped Debbie's dad replace a couple toilets Oh for Christ sake, I wish my daughter was a lesbian The pressure that is put upon you when he's like okay if this toilet doesn't go exactly on

the right way and it hits the wax ring yeah we gotta start completely over again and it'll take hours and hours of work and so like I knew it's someone else to help yeah that pressure of like because you know if you if that wax ring gets fucked up, you know who's fault it is. It's my fault. It's 100% nothing. He's never fucked a wax ring up. He's never fucked a wax ring up.

The history of wax rings in his experience, he's like, it all goes smooth. But now there's a fucking, almost a literal monkey ranch thrown into my watch. This is what I got to deal with. But I went on smooth. Yeah, this is the guy my daughter accepted, you know, fucking get a wax ring on. And I am proud to say that wax ring was intact if there I laid that porcelain thrown on top of it.

Nice. Oh man. It was one of my, it was one of my proud arm days. Just big question. In terms of that kind of shit. Yeah. In terms of like you can be an agent. Yeah.

In terms of toilet related. It must be part very preless like you're like two and you're like, hey, he's the toilet for the first time. People don't really, or like they like take such a giant shit that like, I can't believe this came out of me and then they take pictures. Yeah. Yeah. Like you've got to see this because it's fucking astounding.

How does that? Oh, you can work on a firehouse. You get those fucking photos every other week. It's good you put that wax seal on correctly, Walt, because it says it can last for more than 30 years, so long as the toilet is not moved and the seal is not broken. So the guys who make the wax seals must be sitting around just hoping that people fuck up, right? Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, the wires are not going to sit on another one for 30 years. They'll be retired by then. Yeah, I think they're right, though. Yeah.

Well, the new construction man, that was wax, you know, somebody's got to be doing that constantly. Some lady came around my neighborhood the other day. There's always construction going on in town and they wanted to build apartments. In this one area that's sort of residential, there's not really apartments there. She came around with a petition. And she's like, here are the reasons that there shouldn't be apartments here.

And it was like parking and traffic and all this other shit. And then one of the things was like more drugs and crime. Now, you're talking about, I think it was like 15 units. And as it like, as an apartment one time, I was like, that's a, that's a weird broad generalization to make. Is it low income? Is it low income? Oh, I'm fucking white. I don't even think there is low income in that, in the town anymore. Yeah. No, everything is real expensive. But, yeah, the people who are going to be living

in these apartments, because they're up on the hill, I'm sure, are there going to be like commuters or something, you know? Yeah, white collar crime at most. They might be cheating on taxes. I know they do, but... Well, then she's right.

More drugs have come into the community But it doesn't matter where you move in apartment or a house I've done drugs everywhere baby What is she is not wrong But to say but you're gonna assume everyone there is nowadays It's a good chance that if there's 15 new units Let's say even one person may be abusing drugs, abusing or abusing or using. So you're saying that you have to be

able to move in or out of control. I said using or abusing. So if there were 15 houses in a row, you're still going to have then you're still going with the same number of odds, right? Yeah. Okay, so then it wouldn't matter. If you build houses there instead of apartments? Right, if you took 50, you build 15 houses then by go... Well, I think the argument there is you could have probably only put two houses on that property, so they put houses instead of apartment buildings, then you're only getting most two drug abusers. Yeah, at most.

So you're saying that the drug argument holds that these apartment- So that was gay broaches. I'm saying that she's probably, like, it- I think she was reached at that point. She's like, I don't know, probably more drugs. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

The one thing just wasn't anything on the list that I was like, I signed the petition anyway. I was like, fuck it, fine. Like, as I know her husband, he's an araca. But I was like, it's really, I don't know if this is, do petitions matter? Like locally, if it's zoned for that. I doubt it.

She was worked up though. It was like her thing. So she have a job? I don't think so. She's probably just looking for shit that though. I need a job. I'm not fucking running her out petitions all over the place.

You have a job, you just worked today. Yeah, congratulations. Well, beginning of season seven, you never saw a beaver so eager as Wald Flynn. Yeah. Yeah, always so excited. Yeah. I had to come here early.

I had like a bump under my eye. And I had to get it all. It was attacked by a rogue net. Yeah, I just was happy. I I got this big like I haven't had a blemish on my face since I don't know when but on the first day You got it or something. What is it mosquito bite? I don't know mosquito bite or a pimple I couldn't figure out what was my mind was swollen had to get my 14 year old who's like super Adept at makeup. Mm-hmm. I woke her up and I was like, can you get the redness out of this makeup on? Makeup on me. She just started screaming.

But now I told her what she was doing. And I was like, you know, I'm so proud that we're like, we're like this new 2017 family that a daughter can put makeup on her father. And it's, and it's, she's like, I feel like a mortician. I do so old your skin I just no matter how much powder I put on it it just sinks in and it's like a desert is that what you said to her you liar I swear to God I was like you know I said like like I couldn't do this with my father I said I come up but make up on my father and my father. And it's so awesome that we live in a time now

that you could put makeup on your father. And that's not a thing. I said, it makes me bring, it brings me a tears. But you made it a thing by even mentioning it. Well, I want to acknowledge, because I know in her head she was thinking that, like, my dad's a fag. He's a secret fag.

Oh no. This is just the beginning. Next thing you know, he's gonna go on Caitlyn Jenner on me Don't ruin it man. It was a beautiful It really is like one of those that's one of those things that like like I said you could like in art growing up It really would have been like no one would talk about it But I talk about it. I want I want to let the world know I came in and go like my daughter put makeup on me this morning. I told her, oh, yeah, what the hell they react. Everybody, everybody got the wrong.

I have something to say. I have something I want to say about it. I'm proud of it. I'm being a 2017 man and dad. I'm wearing makeup right now. I mean, she should have stopped before the lipstick. I mean, you did look good. It was just too red for your complexion.

But I think it would be really weird. Like, my father was a construction worker. So if he's like, put me up on me, I'd be like, um, all right. But he had a blemish. Just like, he had a blemish. And he didn't want to go to work with a blemish. Yeah, he's like, I don't want all the other construction workers to notice this little bug bite and mock me.

Yeah, I think it makes more sense, not because you're a 2017 dad, but because you're on TV, and you're like, I don't wanna go on with this bump on my eye. It'll be distracting. I think if you had no bump on your eye, and you started like, bugging her to make you up every day,

like you're constantly waking around. It doesn't matter what year it is. That would be weird. Like pretty, pretty. Well, she goes, you want me to do the other side? You want me to do this and this and I was like, yeah, I go. She goes, I can define your cheekbones. It's like, I don't want to go, I don't want everybody to notice.

I said, but yeah, go ahead, do whatever you want. It's 2017. That's all it comes down to. Look at that calendar. You don't even need to ask me these questions. No, no, no. You do whatever you want. I wish he made you look like Rocky Harp picture show.

No, she's really artistic. And it shows in her makeup. She gets compliments every time we go out to eat by the waitresses and such. She does crazy stuff with her eyes and everything. She's really good. I noticed when we went out, she had, she's very stylish, kid.

Well, she got her own style. So she's not afraid to do what she wants to do and she's not worried about the the What every other kid's doing right? Yeah, which is not putting makeup on their dad I guess no that's just that's just it. Yeah, I told her like she could tweet this or or texted to her friends if she wants Put in makeup a hashtag put in makeup on my dad. The did she do it?

Yeah, I mean, you need to. Yeah, oh, it's that, now you should start bringing all your friends over like at Sunday, Jeff and the chair. I was like, I've got some cheekbone definition. I just think it'd be a better place if every dad, you know, go make up put on by the car. I hate to break a break this to you But the number of times you just put like now polish on me

Without any like bug by for it's not Exit any waiting circumstances. It's it's a wonderful gesture on your part But I don't care. I can tell anyone Kill you but let's but it's okay to not stop at the fingernails. We can go up higher You could put nail polish on your elbows. Right. Yeah, like I'm like it's 2017 to not stop at the fingernails. We can go up higher. You could put nail polish on your elbows. Right, yeah, like I'm like it's 2017, put it in my eyes and mouth if you want. You can go to makeup now. You don't have to be, you don't have to play to hard-ass. Would you be wearing makeup for seven years already? Whenever we do the podcast, this is nothing new.

Yeah, but like, you know what I mean, though. If you look like a like a French noble Like hey This fucking thai eyes on like wow, you really want for it Now you did look she did do a good job though You can like you got to do it tomorrow too if I wake up and it's still here and which feels like it is It what happened it's cuz you went to do it tomorrow too if I wake up and it's still here in which feels like it is and what Happened it's because you went to the fireworks right and I went to the fire I got attacked by nets who historically don't bite but somehow

a bit me hmm maybe a mosquito huh no I don't know what it was I don't know if it happened there but like we were gonna Attack by nets and mosquitoes and it may have been at there or it may have been when I was sleeping or It may just be is you should have just all started smoking cigarettes to keep them away with the smoke like your whole family Well, they don't like smoke right like that's why people burn campfires and shit like it keeps going away It was horrible though. It's boring right fireworks. Well, you get there like we got to get there at like 730 Yeah, it doesn't get dark till quarter to 10 Yeah, you're just sitting around like what milling around with people. It's just like It's just boring. Yeah, and then when the fireworks start you're just like oh, yeah

This is why they didn't want to come back Yeah, it sucks Totally boring, but yeah, we did our first day and it was uneventful also Did you guys? Well just come back the 4th July because I've noticed something. When I was a kid on Staten Island, everybody at fireworks. It was, it was the day, this is not, I swear to God, this is not exaggeration. The day after the 4th July fits, you would walk out into the streets and it would be ankle high in discarded paper firework lines and

Was that like that here or no? Where I lived there was a there was a kid two doors down his name was Pete Patak and every year his family would go down to south of the border and Or they're about to they would come back with a bunch of fireworks and they would sell them to like neighborhood kids. But this is not that. This is like everybody had a stock by a fire works and then Giuliani came in office and it fucking stopped on a dime. He got on the news. He was like, we're going to be compensating all fireworks. You're going to get fined. Do not do it. Do not test us We have more cops than we know to do it and it just stopped and for years Not a peep on the 4th of July now The blasios and they're like fuck him two things happen this past week I'm walking around Manhattan and I am noticing them and hadn't is going to shit again

There's graffiti everywhere. How's the Manhattan this weekend, too? Dude graffiti everywhere I was a man having last week. I'll tell you something I saw the garbage cans are over fucking flowing this garbage in the streets is graffiti fucking everywhere And we're walking around and it smells everything fucking smells like like garbage like piss garbage like the city is like going backwards and I was I said it I was like this is fucking like this. I've not seen the city look like this. And then the fourth of July, yes, that I all my fucking neighbors, not up to the pre-July, Annie levels, but all my neighbors are blowing up fucking fireworks. Maybe you're just taller and the it's still the same. Just like your ankles. Something's going on in the city

in New York. And it's not good. It's bad. bad. I saw when I was there a couple weeks ago to do their knagel show. I saw something that I never thought I'd see in the streets in New York and the streets of Manhattan and it's like you know the the youths who ride motorcycles without helmets do wheelies and shit. I saw two guys doing that. That's fucking crazy. It happens in Baltimore. I have a buddy in Boston, this cop Joe, I know. He told me that these guys will ride mini bikes and shit and dirt bikes out onto baseball fields while kids are playing boots, like Little League. And they're like, we can't chase them or rest them because they're so afraid somebody's

gonna get killed or whatever. So these kids just fucking ride. There's a documentary about it, 12 o'clock boys. It's called it's fucking nuts. Like that. You would a lot of these guys and they're the real deal. Yeah. Like we couldn't pop wheelies on our bikes if we tried. These guys are riding wheelies for like five fucking blocks. And I saw that in New York. You sound like you're still pissing New York well I didn't you know it was just crowded a lot of weed a lot of marijuana. Yeah, I Saw like like a lot of that how much makeup were you I hate the city anyway, it could be clean. It could be you could be smell like a rose and still would be I don't feel that way

be clean, it could be, it could be smell like a rose and still would be. Yeah, I don't feel that way. Um, I hate it. But you're sound like you're not happy that the fireworks are in your neighborhood now. Uh, no, no, the fireworks I didn't mind, the fireworks I think is kind of cool. It's one day everybody has fun, you lose a finger or two, but that's just the idea. It's a who gives a shit. But to me, it was just another sign that... Anarchy.

New York City is going in the wrong direction. I fucking can't tell you how How New York City's been fucking so clean and so crime free and now I'm just noticing it going in the wrong direction Like I'm starting to fucking worry man like I like it's it's upsetting maybe you could threaten to put like you know pull the Pull the show out in New York. I don't think that wouldn't work. I don't think anybody would give a fuck in the makeup. You're like, who said it? Yeah. I don't blame anybody because, uh, we do need a permit to shoot TV show.

So I don't want to point, I bring it up more as like a thing to like, if anybody is listening, that's going on. So I'm sure, you know, people in power fix it. I don't want to blame anybody. I don't want to blame up there will um my daughter like we were supposed to go away before the shootings Began to like a little vacation, but we could never really decide anything. So we just took in a unplanned boat ride over to New York and we did had no plans and we just did things as

You know on the spur and we got tickets to a show we just say Charlie chocolate Horrible I sort of London. I was like this is so unbearable I've never seen the movies any of the movies. I don't know the story So it was like all new to me. So I was like Yeah, you know, I thought it looked looked okay But was it still have the thing where it's like you you don't even meet Willy Wonka to the second act? Yeah, yeah. And then for some reason his factory is all gray

and ugly looking except like two rooms. Well, it was hard for them to have the set for the factory. It was kind of like, there wasn't really a lot of set work for the factory. It was just little things that came down. Yeah, it didn't look good. Yeah, they didn't do put a lot of effort into the factory set. I thought the only thing that looked really good were anytime they introduced the kids and they had like those numbers with they introduced the kids or when the kids got like when he got sucked into the TV. Yeah, I was like those are good but I was like the

rest of it's so bland and like you don't even meet willy-wong at the left. I was sitting around going like oh you're gonna meet this motherfucker because it's so bland and like you don't even meet willy-wand get to left of the I was sitting around going like oh you're gonna meet this motherfucker because it's his chocolate factory and you never meet him till the end yeah but I mean I got a half-brice ticket okay that helps so that was it to me it was and it was hot as fuck so yeah got to go inside a cool theater for two and a half hours and that killed a big portion of the day in You just walked around but you didn't notice garbage pouring out on I Gotta tell you I'm not looking down at the garbage. I'm just looking around

Let me make sure no one's gonna knife us or anything. So I just want to get in and out and keep you know Keep your family alive. I feel like snake plus skin. Yeah Escape from that ship I got I to agree with you. I said to Niggle, I was like, I like coming in and talking to you guys. I hate the fucking journey here. There's nothing pleasant about it,

and once you're here, it's nothing but traffic, and tourists, and fucking petty cab assholes, who apparently, there's telling him, cue the other day, I was waiting in traffic at this light, and there's like a petty cab in front of me, and they do that thing where they like, they stand up and go forward and go backward.

And he's doing that and there's all the cross traffic coming because we're on a side street and he has both middle fingers up, like giving the fingers to any car that passes until there's a slight slowdown because traffic starting to back up and then he goes across against the light and I'm like I don't understand this they're the scourge of the fucking city these scumbags they're like going in and out and weaving and coming like an inch from your car and I don't know who wants that ride like who wants to take that fucking ride in a pedicab where like this guy's given the finger and trying to dart out. Yeah, it's not good. I'm sure I'm sure a lot of cities are all faces are all the same. No, right?

Or do you agree some cities are more pleasant than others? Well, I love New York City. I don't think it's not pleasant. I think it's amazing. Yeah. I love the piss smell. Well, I'm a little disappointed with the piss. No, you are. With the piss, but I mean, you can't get a better place in New York City.

There's no city like in the world. You were just in Paris. Paris, beautiful, doesn't hold candles in New York City. What's so great about New York City? Um, I'm not saying that in a conversation. No, I know. Well, I mean, it is to, you know, there's always something going on. There's always fun things everywhere.

The amount of culture you can see there. The amount of people that you can meet there is pretty exciting. The city looks cool. I don't know, I just dig it, man. We're not a Vegas. Vegas is fun, but Vegas is more of a like, I'm gonna go there and party and fucking leave. And lose money behind New York.

You can do anything. London's great. I love London. A little often touches New York, huh? I don't think anything touches New York. That I think so. So let's just like compact New York. London is very spread out.

Paris the same thing like to get anywhere. It's like LA. Yeah, it's like New York is like build up build tight keep it together Everything's got cool history. Everything's all right if there were like half the number of people and man hat and I think I'd like it better. Yeah And if Times Square was still dirty again. I used to think the same thing, but now I don't know You know as your older you're like I don't want the I don't think so. I still love the meatpacking district man It was fucking crazy. It was awesome down there. It was like Skelly and there was always blood in the streets from all the for the meat and stuff like that and The bars were rough and tumble and it was really like run down and now it's like LA

It's like there's high end. There's nothing but high end Fucking clothing stores and restaurants and shit. Now used to be like ah this is bring back the old But I'm starting to see a little new York group and then I'm, I don't know Maybe I was romanticizing the more years old New Yorkers. Yeah That was the other thing when I was going through time Square the number of people that dress like Say Elmo or any number of characters. Yeah, that Are doing such a half-assed lackluster job. Like, it's literally a step away from just putting on a Ben Cooper mask

and be like, I'm Batman, you're the money to take a picture with me. And they like harass people. Yeah, they're not good. I don't know why they're allowed to do. There was a guy with some rubber mask on. He was, he was Spider-Man. And it was just a rubber mask

and the dirtiest suit ever. Because that's how they make money. And there's gonna be some special interest group that if they're like, hey, this Spider-Man who smells like piss and is potentially violent, he should be allowed to fucking confront people to take pictures. See, that's the sort of thing that Bloomberg

would not have put up with. No way. Julianna would not have put up with, would have been like, get this fucking shit out of here. That was just a blasio guy like how? Why is he in there? I thought people didn't like him yet. He keeps one we need a copy He's only one one. He's a thinking this is his first thinkin's Fucking what do you kid? I mean think it's a light of fuse the fucking city watch it blow up that guy didn't get shit

Don't think it's was the worst But even like even Julie Annie and Bloomberg were not good for unions. Like like, oh my god, every time the contract negotiation came up for the fire department, it was like, we're gonna get fucked like. Well, Giuliani carried about his crime. He was wanted to bust Giuliani care about crime. Bloomberg cared about profitability. But under that umbrella was making sure people won't want to come to the city. He would fuck us on contract negotiations, but I think the city was so fucking nice I was like, yeah, what are you gonna do?

Like that's what it is. There's wash the piss away with your hose. Yeah, but now I don't know what's good. I don't know enough. It's just a sign of being older. Well this new queue. No, the garbage in this is not that's like this. No, not in the streets. Come on, we've been on Bourbon Street lots of times and you used to be Yeah, that's the show of vomit and piss. Yeah, but that's again you go to New Orleans like I expect to smell vomit and piss Right like that's a party town

Certain parts of New York City you want to go to bleak a street at 2 a.m. All right, I'll take your vomit in your piss but I was fucking walking around like nice parts of Manhattan and the garbage Pales is just overflowing and I asked the garbage man. You ready for this? I go why? Why is that happening? And he said that But the previous administration had garbage pick up three times a day current administration once a day Closed Right, but where's that money going? Come on, Walt. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I thought you knew something. Oh, you're a modern day businessman. Oh, yeah.

You were on a business, right? I saw you on the cover of Entrepreneur Magazine. Oh, yeah. So I'm wondering, are you hiring? I only hire off-zip recruiter, Brian. Oh yeah. So I'm wondering, are you hiring? I only hire off Zippercruder, bro. Oh really? I can't just have you roll up on me and ask for a job. All right. Well, I'm gonna have to submit, you know, tender my resume to Zippercruder,

because that's where people post their jobs to find the best candidates. With Zippercruder, you can post your job to 100 plus job sites with just one click. Their powerful technology efficiently matches the right people to your job better than anyone else. That's why Zip Recruiter is different. They don't depend on anyone finding you. It finds them. In fact, over 80% of jobs posted on Zip Recru to get a qualified candidate in just 24 hours. Cue you were right, you were right to not hire me. Zippery crew seems way better.

Yeah, I'm not, I look, I love you, but I can't just hire you. Right. You gotta go through the proper channels. Yeah, well actually, we're trying to hire you on fucking after partying, you're like, you're fucking, I know my agent pulled in a whole lot of work. Yeah, it's going to be awesome, man. It's, of course, it would conflict with the one time I have shit to do, you know The other fucking ten months out of the year. I'm like just picking up my phone randomly hoping you're on the other end

We only need you for like an hour That's it. Yeah, I'll tell the episodes only half hour long. I'd be like let Mike and Ming handle this That's it. Yeah, I'll tell them. The episode's only half hour long. I'd be like, let Mike and Ming handle this. But you know, he'll say yes. Just a zippercruder. You can post jobs on it for free. I trade free. I don't know how zippercruder makes money doing this, but hey, God bless when they figured it out. zippercruder.com slash t-e-s-d zippercruder.com slash t-E-S-D, try it for free. Go to zippercrooter.com slash T-E-S-D. I just got some very unfortunate news. How'd off the fucking press? I always thought I was 1% black. No, you're not? Turns out I'm only 0.4% sub-Saharan African.

Well, I might have you beat, buddy. I think you might. I'm 99.3% white. European mother fuck. You fucking oppressing piece of shit. I just learned I'm the worst kind of person. White. Why are you looking at that now? Because I was looking for the spots on email. I was looking for the spots on email I was looking for the spots on on our email and then I saw my 23 am e just came through

99.3% European point 4% sub-Saharan African point 1% Middle Eastern I'll lock my friends Less than point 1% South Asian We're the same. Oh wow, look at that, man. Well, Middle Eastern and North Africa, I'm 4.5. My ancestry timeline, British and Irish. Wait, how far back does it go? 1700s.

What does that even know what this means? Yes, I am wondering where my 6.2% French and German ancestry came from. You're a fucking piece of garbage. Oh, my mother with my Greek grandma was a French whore. You're a goddammit. I think they told you stuff like that. You're a whore. Do you ever have any interest while finding out your ancestry?

There's not many relatives. I like alive, let alone find out, you know, well no, it doesn't tell you how you're it doesn't tell you about your relatives. It just tells you like your I think it's overrated. What you want to know that you're all white. Lineage is overrated. All that matters is can you wear makeup in 27? How you live your life? Are you progressive or are you make up in 27. How you live your life? Are you progressive or are you? You know, you know, that doesn't care all this. I'm recently in Palmer, right? Yeah, I'm not interested. It doesn't, it mean it's meaningless to me what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I gotta be honest, I was really hoping I was more black than fucking not less.

Yeah, it makes you cooler. Don't it just make you cooler? It does. I know. I want it now. I remember the dude, the fucking Vegas dude, the Jimmy the Greek memory lost his whole career because he said that thing about black athletes and that shit. What I played basketball a lot in high school, I wanted to be black in the worst way because look,

there's a reason that there's 10 black guys on a basketball court because they're faster, they can jump higher, they're better at it, whatever the fuck, right? Am I wrong? Yeah, but that doesn't mean just because you're I still want to suck, but in my mind, in my mind, I would have been. Yeah, I'm not a guy. I'm a lot of guys who are black or not in the NBA. I mean, it takes, it still takes a certain skill level. Yeah, I know. I know. But you're coming out from a 49-year-old point of view where I was. I was 13 or 14. Oh, am I? Well point of view where I was 13 or 14. Oh, I'm trying to tell you Oh, I thought you're so progressive and open. I'm telling you but you're I wanted to be anything

You can't stop pigeonhole in people though like okay, well Certain people are good at basketball and certain people are good at I don't know what chess or certain people are good at um smart people smart people are good people are good at hockey white people give me a pinch and hold it yeah give it to me maybe I'll give it a hold like that yeah but don't be proud of that oh okay so you don't doubt that yeah you should be like because you know it's like no there is no such thing as certain people are good at this or certain people are better there is that's not true it is true then why are fucking 9 out of 10

NBA players and NFL players and like all the fucking good players you're telling me that most NBA players are not I don't know I don't know I watch the NBA finals and I got to be honest with you I don't I don't notice what color they are gonna be oh shut up you're such a fuck I don't even know what I'm a wall what's the book the other is that guy what's the sick the King James is he black I don't even know oh I'm sure you don't yeah James you mean LeBron yeah yeah it doesn't matter to me it like I didn't notice which guys, you know, which guys James black that is the biggest bullshit like that anyone ever said I don't see color shut the fuck up

Because even people who are colorblind can still see in black and white right I would imagine I Saw you know what though I sure blind you see color and I don't want to fucking here otherwise There's a I mean there was James indeed there was all sorts Got me worked up. I'm so mad about only the end point for a black I saw a whole bunch of different color Oh, it explains why it's not the best finals right so and and I but don't what colors did you see aside from white and black? Maybe your color What colors did you see aside from white and black? Uh... Maybe your color blinded me. No, that's not.

What other colors would there be? There wouldn't be. So these white guys will weird eyes. Yeah. A bunch of all-binoes. That would be something. And all-bino, too. Might watch them.

Yeah, this is... this is despeared, you band. This is fucking demoralizing. What is that? You're not black? Yeah, well only 0.4%. I was hoping for a little more. Well, I wouldn't worry too much, dude. It wasn't helping. It wasn't helping you hurting you. No, that means all my relatives are racist and they wouldn't bang any black chicks or black guys. But isn't it all about... Am I not a man at Nona Jerks?

What's that? Isn't all about who you are is what's inside? Right. Not what's on the outside. So you can feel more empathy or what do you feel when you feel like you are not empathy, but like you so feet. What's it called? Sympathy.

That's sympathy. Catastrophe? No. sympathy, not sympathy, um, catastrophe. No, you, when you feel the same way, you empathize. Yeah, empathize. All right. symbiotic. I can't think in the right word. Cureté la. You just, it, it doesn't matter what you, you could say, you could say you're anything as long as you live the right way. It's 2017. I'm black. You can be yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think that's gonna go over well either As long as you as long as you act the right way they're not gonna so they're not gonna respect that

Who's they whoever like that girl Rachel Donzeller whatever like the chick who was like hey? I'm black It's like the head of the don't and WCP or some fucking weird shit fine for her. She's oh, that went really well. I don't think it was fine for her. Oh, she got in trouble. See of course She did she you can't just see that like I did Let's see Rachel Well, wait a minute though. How did she get the job though? Doles out because she tricked people I Don't know her skin was pretty dark. I think she takes like teased out her hair. Let's say. She's a American. I write this tells you a lot. Former civil rights activist and

former African Africana studies instructor. She was president of the NAACP. Okay, chapter and spoken watch. But she had no she had she was 100% white. There was no black heritage in her DNA at all. It says, okay, here. She came to media attention when her European American parent stated that she was a white woman passing his black. The statement followed her report because she was, yeah, she lied about it.

She lied about other aspects of her biography and about alleged hate crimes against her. Is it would it be? Was that a hate crime key just committed against me? Saying I couldn't be black? Yes, you busted. Is it, is it more problem sum if you lie about being a different race?

It's kind of hard to like get away with it. I don't know, like I can sit here and be like, I'm not sure, yeah, I mean. I don't know the rules, I don't even want to guess because it's like, you're lying for proguts. I could say you're a woman and you're a woman. That's all you got to do, say you're a woman, feel you've always been. Do it all the time.

I mean, how many women's rooms I've been in like the past couple? Yeah, that's not what I'm supposed to be. But I don't think you can say that you're you're black and then just be black even though logically but if you're hard you can do the other your heart's in the right place and you and you know you're you're you're a hundred percent for the cause or you're you're feeling your heart that you you feel it you just feel it just because you't, just because it's not, your skin isn't dark enough, doesn't mean, like you don't feel the, that you don't,

but you don't identify that's the word I don't identify. You would have no cred though. That's that was the problem. Even though she was doing all these good things, I'm sure that in her role as president of the Spokane Washington chapter, that's where Gary originally was killing all those hookers. Until she got busted, she was probably, like you say, her heart was in the right place,

but she was killing lies and what she gaining personal gains from doing this was she profiteering off of this. Probably not prof, I don't think she's making a ton of money being the president, but maybe you know, I'm doing, well, I'm doing God's work over here, helping out all the black folks who couldn't help themselves. Really, she was taking the job away from a real black person who was the president. That's a good point. That's the problem. That's the point. But I don't know how to answer it, man, because she might be fucked up, dude. What do you mean? It says, when she was a teenager, her parents adopted three African-American

children, a one- black Haitian child. She said she was born and lived in a T.P. and said that her family hunted for food with a bow and arrow. I think as soon as I heard that, I'd be like, I don't know if this gentleman was present. And this sounds very weird. She said that her mother said that she and her father briefly lived in a T.P. in 1974, three years before she was even born, and all her claims were totally false. She was raised as a penocostal, and those are the wacky,

she might be. What's that called, a habitual liar? She could, like, a pathological liar. But she was doing good. I guess, but at the same time, I guess, but at the same time, a way she was copying art, well, she was at least accused of that. I think if 10 years ago, you can take that away from me. I think I like, but, okay, stop.

I think if, let's say 20 years ago, somebody had told you, look, a dude is gonna decide that he's a woman and you have to you have to accept that that was that will come after you or like people come after your career and your job like like that is it you'd be like what are you fucking crazy that's not did you hear the news that there is a baby born with the first no sex yeah I did see that yeah and did you see no gender I'm sorry yeah genderless baby now I didn't I wasn't sure about reading the story because I'm not really I

Don't want to it's 2017. I don't feel like it But I wasn't sure if that meant the baby wasn't born a gender meaning that it was like No, I had no genitals meant that it was not yeah, they wouldn't put it on the birth certificate. That's what it meant, right? Well, be good right it has well, I guess in Canada, they have a health document that's a, well, it was born in British Columbia, the baby, outside the medical system, it did not undergo a genital inspection because I guess these two parents

must be transgender. So they're like, hey, we got to sign sex as when we were kids and we're both transgender. I thought Owen Benjamin had a good point. I'm worried it's like if this kid gets kidnapped, to watch out quickly, these parents are like, it's a boy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

This is the kind of shit. This is what I hate about 2017. The makeup? I'm okay with it. This is fine. But, I guess the woman's name, or one of their names is Dodie. They were unable to receive a medical number for the baby. The child has also been denied a birth certificate. Dodie's lawyer, Barbara Findlay, who does not use capital letters to spell her name. That's how fucking special people need to be. Okay, I don't know if you noticed. There are no capitals in my name.

And that's a proper name, so I just need you to know that like, I might be the first person in Canada to ever do that. It's on my drivers license, you can see there's no capital B. Why does you not want capital B at us? Oh, the fuck! Can you imagine that decision like, you know what? I thought about it for a while, it wasn't brave enough. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. And you know what, when CNN writes a story about me, they're gonna fucking mention it. The only, what the fuck? The only thing I think is crazy than

that is giving a fuck. I don't care. Like I just don't give a shit. You want to have a low-excuse name? I have to say it because they're like people are gonna think we didn't use capital letters, unless we fucking point out that this lady is like hey, hey When you spell my name do not use capital letters because I know you use them Capital letters are my enemy It's should I start doing that will I set myself apart from the rest of the pack? I don't know dude what difference does it make? Why do you use all capitals? I think you mean,

that every will letter has to be a capital. Yeah, they're all of equal importance. Why should just the first letters of each name stand out? Yeah, and I'm going to use my name, Brian Lee Johnson at all times, all caps, like internet shouting, here I am! It's punic-nor-me! You see all those caps, here I am. It's putting it in my head. Don't ignore me.

You see all those caps, that means something. I went out of my way. Oh, it's not. I also heard down the social medias that there's now been, I think internet trolling has been classified as an addiction. Really? I've been addicted to several things, and I'll say that's one of them. Really?

No, it's cold. But no, they've classified that episode of South Park, where what's his name, Kyle's Dad, becomes addicted to trolling people. He has like three computers going and he's a Boston song. Like he's like playing the computer keyboards. It's fucking amazing. But do you do you guys put any credence in the medical community stating that it can be an in an in addiction? Yeah I think anything can be an addiction. sure. And they've also

done a study, some medical community did a study on people who troll. Yeah. And they say they are, um, they're, it's a mental illness. Well, if that's true, then it's not their fault. Well, I come on. What do you mean? Like, I'm, I'm, I know for a fact, I knew it from the very beginning. I knew Dr. Halloween was mentally ill. Dr. Halloween? The guy who fucking will always unread it, fucking writing nasty stuff. It definitely was about a mental,

about a real person. Actually, anybody on the TV cares, he writes bad stuff about us. His mentally ill. Max, well, he's the one that Max will had the beef with, right? He was one of the more prolific ones He may have been institutionalized

Because I haven't heard from him in a while, but I believe anybody that Well anybody who shits on us on the on the red light I believe is mentally unstable Yeah, they should be classified and thrown away into the silent. I mean, yeah, I mean Steve Dave town mental Be like a Victorian torture chamber. I Mean if they're electric shock I wouldn't I wouldn't lobotomies anything anything that would go to heart. These poor people. Yeah, they're lost souls There's a Reddit user. It says right here. Well, you're right.

Hand asks whole solo. I never heard of this. The Reddit user who took credit for a gift that depicted Donald Trump closed lining a CNN logo, which I guess he later apologized for his history of racist, racist bigoted and anti-Semitic posts online. An anonymous Reddit user, Paul Jenner. He used offensive terms. And followed by one, two, three, four, five asterisks. Wow.

I can't work with that. I don't know what that is. Wait, and then it says goatfucker, only the U is missing. But then it says F, one, the you is missing, but then it says F one two three four complete senses or you just skip one or two. These are the offensive terms used. Goat fuckers and offensive terms. Yeah, that's probably. Oh, wait, I guess he was offensive to who he was. I always think that he released. Yeah, that's who he was aiming it at.

But then go fuckers is a slur against the Middle East. They raised goats. I've never heard that before in my life. Allegedly, according to S. Whole Solo or whatever. Is it? And I don't want to stigmatize. But what is the show? No mental illness. So if you are out there and you're writing bad things about home Steve Dave, go see a doctor.

Don't be embarrassed. It's OK. 2017. You can admit that your mental writing bad shit about us. Yeah, after the trial And it's out there That's really but I feel now more I used to get annoyed by it now I feel sympathy because now I realize That they're you know that shit crazy. Okay, so you feel bad for him

Yeah, and I don't think they should feel Like embarrassed and about admitting it and finally just taking action. I mean, that's the first step Okay, so you feel bad for him. Yeah, I don't think they should feel like embarrassed or about admitting it and finally just take an action. I mean, that's the first step. Right. Go ahead. Please tell me what the question is. F then four asterisks T. F is it? What are they to this faggot? Are these dropping a faggots out? Oh, yeah, you're probably right. Yeah, yeah. Are we sure he wasn't talking about cancer? He didn't it wasn't followed up by cells. So no, I think he was just oh

Speaking of which the episode the new episode dropped last yesterday, right? Okay. Yeah With less than 24 hours Someone recited the poem in in person to the five or ten. Yeah someone recited the poem in in person to the five or ten yeah uh... i don't know what it was i actually a new wrinkle in the in the uh... the barren vans for the new thing that gator is now my renfield or renfield

and uh... you must give him the money okay i don't i feel dirty than taking the money give it to gator and then gator tells me that there's somebody wants to recite the poem I think you get the money from get him and you feel like So you made you made a little money already. Yeah, I think it was I think it was 10 bucks I can't remember wow yeah, what facts did that fact was it? Oh, there's more Public libraries to McDonald's in America. Wow that that can't be true. And laid that out. No, it's true.

How's that possible? What do you mean? How's it possible? Look it up. There's like a McDonald's every block. Well, there's a public library in almost every town. Yeah, but I got it. I'm all over.

I'm surprised. I'm surprised. No, just surprised. Yeah, you did. Just surprises all. Yeah, but I thought that was shocking that it happened that quickly i was almost unprepared you're ten bucks up in this game yeah you're the ten dollars i think it was ten dollars

think it was i can't remember what it was america you know i'll i'll i'll show this to you later on that there are more public libraries and michael is in the west of the after after i told you the baren said I can't believe that you felt the need to bear a fact check. What a bad fact, Jack. Waffling on fucking facts last week. The fact of fiend is, is, is, is, is, is a lying to you, especially when I don't get 10 bucks for it.

Right. Uh, you know what I wouldn't lie to you about is how comfortable my underwear are. Yeah. Oh, they're the best. The undies. Fucking love them The undies are the softest most comfortable underwear you'll ever wear Period, hmm

Does that mean while you're on your period? There's no way that me undies makes period panties, right? They shouldn't they definitely should make it for both sexes 2017 right? Yeah talking my makeup about my makeup on. I'm not going to have a period. But I wish I could have a period. Yeah, I bet you do. You're so fucking progressive. Summer is the perfect time to have a creature under my drawer. I mean, I swear I saw a string hanging out of this fucking fly the way he's acting.

But I mean, but I would. I did have a string hanging out, but I wish I was there for just not for symbolic reasons. Yeah, I wish I can actually You're in solidarity with your sisters I never heard such a little worship your life Girls girls gather around Debbie come here I need to show you something. I feel your pain I need to show you something. I feel your pain. Just once a month, put a tampon up your ass. Every girl is like, I wish he fucking had a

period too instead of me stupid asshole. Like what a fucking, what an unfriendly thing for God to do to a woman, right? Like once a month for decades, your life is going to suck. For like a, how long? Three days or five days like a week maybe 10 days 11 days of six days It's got to be some sort of movement we can do to start something like we're really self-mutilate ourselves and bleed for a couple days Just for the just to who else are we self-mutilate besides ourselves? Well just to do something just to show that we understand and we we sympathize with what women are going through and just so we can somehow feel Bloody to well usually I do after I get into a spirited argument with I have dealt with some

I have dealt with some women who got around that period and were like flung to very emotional at that time. Well, and that would give me he's honest to the way he's holding onto the makeup and shit and like I would 17 I would embrace my emotional side you know you know he'd give me more reason to get emotional I would feel like I could do it with more. You could just freak out for no reason, be like, hey, I'm on my period. That doesn't sound showmanistic in the least. We've been loving it when you say that.

You're just being emotional. Oh, boy. I like everything backfires. I don't want to be trying to be. No, let me try. Because it's not sincere. No, it's so. It's not sincere. Yeah. I got so awesome. It's a good idea.

Yeah. I got my pads all picked out just in case someday. Every pair of meandies, in case you forgot what we were talking about, is sustainably sourced, made with fabric that's three times softer than cotton. Do you think meandies will ever move into like five, seven, maybe even ten times softer than cotton? I think it's far measured. I get pushed softer softness.

Me on these will push it because I have seen other like copycat companies. I'm not going to name them here. Yeah, it's disgusting. Bullshit. Yeah. Um, and they're not boring. Lots of times you buy underwear and you're just bored. Sometimes I'll put them on just for hours.

I'll just like giggle and roll around on the carpet and shit. It's fun as hell. Because the M&E's come in all kinds of different colors limited edition patterns each month that always sell out. Which means somebody should be getting fired because like you should have a couple pairs left over right? If you're selling out you could always sell more. Go see them for yourself right now. It's a 20% off your first pair. Receive free shipping only at meandys.com slash TSD. They have sold over five million pairs to date. Will they ever catch up to McDonald's in terms of burgers? Burger's, you know, because they stopped counting. They're like billions and billions sold. Yeah. I mean, it's, well, you know what? shouldn't say that if they if they have if they stick around as long as McDonald's does

I mean they're on the right track. They're definitely up there already I mean that's not good. We're gonna get sold at for a billion dollars. Just like everybody else. We fucking sponsor and then they're fucking gonna forget about us well, I don't I don't see that happening not me onies. They've been one of the longest yeah loyalist Advertisers that we have I love them, man. I really do like I threw away Older pairs of underwear the other day Not me undies fuck no no way. I'll die with every pair I'm getting buried with every pair. Yeah, cuz I don't want anybody getting out of my after-um disease to like well

I'll solve these are you know know? Why would anybody want them? I would've fucked nose, man, I'm fucking famous. Hahaha. I get 20% off your first, I get 20% off your first pair plus free shipping at meundys.com slash TESD. That's meundys.com slash TESD. Queue, that's meundys.com slash TESD.

Nobody'll accuse me of not fucking saying the code. No, not this time. No, not this time. Oh, Queue, I went to the movies.com slash T.E.S.D. Nobody'll accuse me of not fucking saying the code. No, not this time. No, not this time. Oh, cute. I went to the movies. I saw a baby driver. Oh, how was? You know, I don't, I didn't love it as much as I think everyone else seemed. Everybody seems to really love it. He had the kid the baby driver.

Why is it called baby driver? Because his name is baby. And he's a driver. And he drives. Basically, the story is he is in Dutch with the crime lord who's who's played by Kevin Spacey and he's going to drive a certain number of jobs for him because he's real good at driving until his dead is paid. Okay. So baby driver So, baby driver who spells his name with all no capitals. No, no. He meets a girl and it's almost too cute.

That's what bugged me was like the romance. I just want to see baby driver driving around all over the place and they did use a song called Baby Driver, but not Kiss. Was it a cover of that song? No, it seemed old. Like old song, yeah. My point being not really about Baby Driver, which is okay. But I saw the Dark Tower trailer.

Oh man, shit that looks good. You think it looks good? I do. It's so different from the book, like I'm worried. I haven't read any of the book yet. I'm talking about this summer I was going to read the entire series, but that trailer looks cool. It doesn't have the same tone. mean, I love the way he fucking reloads in it That's awesome. That's awesome. I have no problem with like the barrel almost

Yeah, and and I like Alder's I just Alba as him like to me. That's fine I know a lot of people are upset because he's black and a cast him in that No, that I'm so wait. I think I might have to get upset but no, it's fine I mean unless you were gonna go on a gonna time machine and get some ofman that. No, that I'm so white, I think I might have to get upset. No, that's fine. I mean, unless you were gonna go on a time machine and get someone to go to a local world. Maybe drive by something. Like, unless they were gonna get a young Clint Eastwood to play him, then it's really not gonna,

because he's described exactly as Clint Eastwood in the books, so whatever, but it just doesn't look the tone, doesn't look correct. So really? Yeah. Because it's a real desolate. It's not an action. It's not a horror series, which is why I strayed from it.

It's not horror and it's not action. It's kind of like a real like, I mean it gets a little action towards the end. Would you recommend it? Oh, like to read. I love it. You love the book. They are probably the books I've read most of my life. Really?

Yeah, the Dark Tower series. That's no fucking small feat. Either there's a lot of books and a lot of pages I think this 12 books yeah yeah fucking great though yeah baby driver it says here had 44 songs in it it's all about music the kid was just to like use too cool he was like Ferris Bueller who did a lot yeah like a lot of flare and shit I don't like people with flare like people who fucking use all lowercase letters And shit fancy toilets people fancy toilets. What did you ever go with you never you never said you were texting

Model toilets. Did you get yeah? You were texting your daughter like you were trolling your daughter basically What is a home depot toilet? No, it was lows lows. I toilet? No, it was a loaise. Loaise toilet? I don't know, I was just, there was, there's a lot of choices, but I was really just texting or just a noir to be like, you're trolling her. Yeah, it's a mental over time. You're addicted to it, you're not liel, you're going in there with the rest of the vegetables. I wanted to give them the options, use their bathroom and I wanted them to have some input, you know, because that's kind of that I am. I just don't make I want to make the decision. 2017. Your ass is going to be sitting on this toilet too. What did they say? Did either girl have ordered your wife? Did anyone care? Do my wife made

them? Do you remember how much you paid? I think it was like 250. I want to know what toilet. Oh, there's one for $136. You have a paid. There's one for $132. Maybe that's the one I did. I don't know, it was two toilets. I think it was $800 to have an installed and purchased and installed. Did you get a couple bucks off for buying one with a seat that doesn't need

to ever be put up? I said, I said, rip it that fucking seat down. It's $2017. I thought I'm gonna buy it unless it that fucking see down 27 I'm not gonna buy it unless it's riveted down I can never lift it Yeah, it should never be lifted Can these pipes handle my tampons sir

haha Uh, so you went with what I want to see the mom yeah, I want to see you never invite me over so I'm gonna know what I have Text Abby see if. Yeah, I want to see the member of my over show. Come on. I don't know what it was. I have text that he's he can take a picture of it. Yeah. I told my daughter. I was like, because I you don't want it. You don't

want to make it official TSD toilet. Then I mean, it was probably the amazing. It was called the biscuit, I think the biscuit biscuit. Yeah, I think it was called the biscuit something the whisker biscuit. No think it was called the biscuit something the whisker biscuit no it was called um simmer simmering biscuit simmering like fucking Conan isn't Conan the barbarian is not that and I felt like that C.I.M.A.R.R.O.N. biscuit biscuit toilet so long I'm looking right is it oh it's Kohler, huh? Kohler's the only way.

I think that, that, that was the only brand they had was Kohler. Alright, this is a regular old toilet. It is, yeah, this is for a regular old manly. There's a lot though. Whoa, it's $400 online, so, oh that's, there's a bunch without expert installation. No, it was, it was, it wasn't that $400 toilet. Oh That's probably there's fucking $2,000 dogs that take a shit. It's something over here. It was guy. It was a

shit like a champ. It was like a king. All right, but it's It just desapsed the energy and the willed Adam E. Goen and Eve. To live. One of those home improvement stores. One of those giant box stores. I feel so inadequate.

I feel so emasculated. I used to. And it has nothing to do with the string hanging out here fly. It's just my lack of knowledge in my knowledge. You don't know anything. I know how. It's just it's on display for all knowledge. I know how it's just it's

on display for all to see and laugh at when I walk in. Do all the tough guys. Yeah. Yeah. Look at them. They're just making fun. Hello boys. I'm here to buy a toilet bowl. Like they make fun of me. Like I'm not even in the room. They talk about me. Like I'm not there. The workers too. They don't care. Wow. They know I can't do anything about it. They're like, he's back, he, she's back. He's back. Like, all right, I'll call you a she. That's more than meeting you halfway. He's just, really.

You feel like, do you ever want to take a class? No. I want to take a mechanics class to fix a car or a cycle. I'm not good at any of that shit either. But when I grew up, I don't know what it was like for you guys, but my father was always like, it's easier if I do it, which was true. It's not like he was wrong, but that's why I don't know shit now. My father was too frustrated. Just never did anything. He really just loved the house sit. But I tell you what I did recently do. I had a day off. I washed and waxed my motorcycle. I washed my car and I took

old door knobs and I got a metal polish. And I brought back 100-year-old door knobs. And I felt like a fucking man after it. I was like, all right, I forgot what this is like. Like doing things for yourself. You were wearing a bikini while you were washing your car. Not this time. not this time not this time Car wash with high school girls. It's really a thing of the past right? It was the last time you saw a bikini You don't see it happen strip clubs used to do it too remember they would like raise money for children and high school girls Like it's strip club. I kind of would still understand if they read it

But like high schools in the 70s used to have them That's one the fucking that's what America was on the right path. That's yeah, man Yeah, fucking everybody was like still high from like the the bison teniel They're like there's a fuck about bikini car washes for underage girls. Oh wow Somewhere along the line somebody was like whoa, whoa. We can't sexualize these girls. Yeah somebody was like, wow, wow. We can't sexualize these girls. Yeah. I mean, we can do it.

It's just not a car wash. We can do it on TV and magazines and music. And it's one of my cars dirty. And he never, that's why my car's made what the fuck in 20 years. It's like there's 78. Yeah. What's wrong with the world,

well, you always wanted to return to its roots. I don't know, not that part. That's the CD part of it. What a bikini car wash. You're out on the bikini car wash. I mean, I'm shocked. I have to even say it aloud. I have to say it that it's sexist. To be fair, I've never actually seen a bikini car wash. I've never seen one. Yeah, I think that might be wish me like a movie thing. It's like pillow, like, pillow, like topless pillow fights. It's sororities.

It's just that's happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was reading the lyrics to Full House today. They're pretty weird. The lyrics to the show Full House. The opening credits? Yeah. We'll put you, wait, wait, hold on.

Don't go yet. What brought you to the land of looking up? We were, we had to do a banter for the show. Okay, and it was like, what was it want to take what's yours? Oh, if you could name, if you could have one theme song for the rest of your life, you woke up in the morning and immediately it played to pump you up and get you going.

Okay, would you pick the ride of the Valkyries? Oh, the Valkyries. Yeah, duh, duh, done, done. All right. I thought it first until those guys went, I thought it had to be a TV theme song. So then I picked something else, but I remembered the lyrics to Full House. I was like, I think they're like strangely like dark for such an upbeat show. And it was, you know, it starts out like yeah whatever happened to project ability the milkman the paper boy evening TV how did I get delivered here somebody tell me please this old world's confusing me with clouds as mean as you've ever seen ana bird who knows your tune then a little voice

inside you whispers kid don't sell your dreams so soon. It's it's it's weird right. It's because for the week I will never die. It's sort of like Ellen Colley and Emoish. But it's not sounds like ten and a nine. It's so fucking upbeat. And then it's like cool. I like this my career is over. Stay most the handsome son of a bitch.

You still answer hey you know it didn't tell that that cool. Yeah guy bang Alanis more set when she was like I think she's 14 were got yeah, he better to bikini car wash No, I thought she was the one he was the one that was like she's like when I go down and you know we theater So I guess you blow them and we'll be theater right because that would have been the height of his career, right? I guess That's him in a movie theater. Right. Because that would have been the height of his career, right? I guess. That's really not that perverted. Not at all. She really like sell.

She sold that. Well, she, yeah, she was younger and appealing to a younger audience. She's like, are you perverted? Like me, it's like perverted. And it will be there? Yeah, that's not perverted. Around everybody can see it, don't it? Yeah, like a screening of cars, three or something,

you fucking just, well well that's very specific. Topped off. Topped off, what's the word about that? I mean, I have to reevaluate your measurement of perversion if you don't think that being in a public movie theater. Yeah, and getting a bold job is not a sign of a... Even in 2017? Mental illness.

He's mental illness! He's shaming you! I'm sorry, you're talking about a mental illness. You're talking about everybody can see you going on? Hmm, no. I didn't think so. You're under the strat of darkness. I mean, in a last row or something like that,

and like, nobody's looking. You sleep one in. Okay, you're in the strat of darkness. I mean a last row or something like that and like nobody's looking You sleep one in okay, you're no last I think you're making eye contact with the fuck a popcorn guy. What? Make you move the usher. You're doing something. Oh Sir I'm getting top top here. I Know why can't you just wait to hear to the movies over and you're in the privacy I think now to be honest, I've never gotten or given head in a movie theater.

I'm glad you said that. That was cool. 2017 wants. No, he's ashamed. He could have been like, I've never gotten. He doesn't have to go out of his way to be like, I've never sucked a dick in a movie theater. I'm not queer.

That's what he's saying. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, you are. I'm giving equal weight to both sides of the equation. So getting a blow job is the same as giving one to you. It's 2017, bro But I would think that Being in public in the danger of getting caught is probably part of the Never got more movie theater never got one in a movie theater deal. You know what you're missing really It's not too long. Never given one in movie theater. Never got one in a movie theater. You don't know what you're missing.

Really? It's not too long. Never given one in a movie theater, yeah. I remember what you're saying. Just. Yeah, no, no. Take the prices are way too high now to be. To be.

It's like the most again. Why should you move in and then trying to experience that too? Yeah. I think I did fool around, but I don't think anything have a popped out of. I of a popped out of it. Yeah, maybe a little over the shirt action, over the pants. What about a driving? I think I've been to a driving once in my entire life and my parents were with me.

It's always been like, so maybe I gave head. It's always been one of the things that I always want to experience like what our grandfathers went through like in at a drive necking and a Driving I never did it. I want you to be late. There's there's some in New Jersey. I know, but like It just wouldn't be it wouldn't be the same. That's how you put the fire back into it. Remember like you say in earlier today Sometimes he doesn't totally Hulk out when he bangs So you know, Ming says he hulks out every time. Even when he masturbates. Yeah, even when he jerks out.

I don't know. I don't hear you. He's like, Hulk's out. It all fairness to Ming you said. What is Hulk out of that? Like he goes and like you know, like with the Hulk, like whenever he gets like, like, a dreaded rush, he like freaks out. And he just like goes, he shit.

Well, then this doesn't look like a good thing. It doesn't sound like it, but the way it came out was, it was natural in love. No, I said it, sometimes it's tender. Sure, you do it say that. That's what I implied. Literally, no, you didn't play anything.

You said half-hearted. Sometimes I do it half-hearted. I did say so sometimes. I met a board tender. Oh, okay. So you don't totally all count every time. Yeah, I'm not like, and not like, something should have mastered to be the tenderly.

Yeah. Could have been judged before. But back to the driving thing though. Yeah. It's like, I mean, that's Americana, right there, right? Yeah. You can go to the driving. That's, that's the awful thing.

And I don't think, and i assume that it didn't get extremely dirty at the drive and those it was all just pushed the boundaries enough without being like a legal i don't know and you don't want to do that you want to do something illegal no i'm just saying but i just think it like the nearest driving is like three hours away right yeah to not do something illegal? No, I was just saying. But the nearest driving is like three hours away, right? Yeah.

To not do something illegal? So just do something illegal. What's illegal though? No. You got tinted windows in your car? No. You got a blanket or sheet you could throw for that. So people can't see it.

It's all hot and shit. It's a lot of effort back and forth. Yeah, like I got my Casper right there. It is, but I mean think of it, man. What? Just think it'd be fun, right? You go down South Jersey, go see Cars 3, yeah, you go see Cars 3, you look around at the kids while you're just like leaning back.

Claving your prize. I guess it would be a lot of work. It sounds better in theory maybe than in practicality. Like once you got on the road and you're paying tolls and shit. The drive-in is... That is hot as hell in the car. I mean hopefully it'll be there when I'm ready. Those are swarming your bite in your eyes and they've got to get big up all over you. Still confused about the Hawking out there. It was not a brilliant question.

It was a bit of a threat. All right, yeah. I'm going to tell you. It was, if Robert Bruce Banner aka the Hawking, if adrenaline triggers the change, is there a chance that when he was with Betty, his. Yeah, would he have to be worried about? You know in the throws a passion turning into the Hulk. I'd say yes What would you say I would say yes to yeah, he would always have to tell Betty should I like that though? Well, no, I mean if he's a house he's gonna like settle like if he's like inside

Or wait, man, you might like what that he's gonna like subtle like if he's like insider Look in my experience I regret all those when you whole cow What about like mr. Fixer it'll like you don't think he ever banged anybody mr. Fixer I don't think he was banged Vegas horse one after another Wait a minute I top off this great. Yeah, he would say that what he said. Yeah, I heard what I don't doubt I think if it at the Hulk with it Bruce Banner was getting busy with a super powered Female superhero or male 2017 I think I think he'd be more inclined to let loose but I think he's got a you know a normal

Human being I think it would be very irresponsible of Bruce Banner to ever let himself get too excited. Yeah. You would have to keep it like... Once he came anyway, he'd probably just turn right back into Bruce Banner. Yeah, but by then it's too late for him, right? Because of his, like, if he's like said, if he's like mid-coitus and he walks out and then his giant green boner like it could do physical damage I don't know. We didn't get that graphic.

All right, I didn't think so. I did the game so I was only gonna shut down. We got it. We got it. We kept it clean. So you think that Bruce Pena just doesn't have sex anymore? No, I think he does. I just think he's got to be like tantric.

It's got or it's got to be with like a pig, so he doesn't get too excited. Tell him Steve's. Because I want everybody to fuck it. I want that to be the last thing everybody hears out of your mouth. Me too. Sick piece of shit. He's acting like it market still 2015 in here. That's fucking guy. 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc

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1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc 1 tbc All I was turning, you won't change a thing now You're talking, you're sleeping now And I am watching you awake, the foundation's burning Nothing we can do now, it really is not me it's now There's nothing left to learn I know it's my turn But eyes are starting to burn

And I have had the inspiration That we invest in each year I know that it's my fault and my words are coming so but I need more of this shit A dream destination I'm okay, I'm okay I'm okay, I'm okay Residue through this Hold your breath for longer Your mind becomes a stronger And by your weight and my dog

Follow me to the unknown My heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating, my heart is beating But my eyes are starting to burn and I need inspiration And realness and ambition I know that it's my fault That my words are colored in salt But I need more motivation And realness and ambition Ono m'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ym w i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n ymw i'n y ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ‿ʻ ʻ Nihar I know the things my dreams are turn But my eyes are starting to burn And I'm in inspiration As the endless star is still

I know that it's my fault The words I cut so far I've been born in the midst of the truth A caird dsolb eith mith Món ymw'n eith A caird dsolb eith A caird dsolb eith A caird dsolb eith This has been a production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com. dot com