Tell Em Steve-Dave - #360: Happy Hamburger

Episode Date: December 22, 2017

Walt loves standing in line, Bry hates craft stores, Xmas gift exchange. Music: Cydeways - Illusion

You don't deserve to, you don't deserve the joy and the good will towards men that is in those I don't, I hate the music, I don't like the people, I don't want to fucking turn around You don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to fucking turn around This is made on a pay for your birth control. Yeah, I need them to pay for my abortions, God damn it. I didn't need to open up a Christmas present tonight. Which I did, but I mean, I found out that nobody told us that we were opening Christmas gifts to light us. That's right. Tell them, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them, Steve Dave. While Christmas is just around the corner and you know what I read, that Christmas music

depresses employees of like retail stores. Yeah, that can make sense. I can't stand it. You don't like Christmas? of like retail stores. Yeah, that can make sense. I can't stand it. You don't like Christmas. I went to the fanciest store in the mall the other day. Yeah, you see. Family and Arizona. Yeah, and You don't like Christmas. It was playing. No, I can't stand it. My mother used to play it all the time even in the summer Yeah, so it fucking drives me insane. I can't stand it. Oh, wow But yeah, it said it to presses. Do you like Christmas? Musical I I'd like about 80% of it. Yeah, there's some songs that are just unbearable for me to listen to and I'll turn them off

But they're certain what's on bearable and probably that lame song Last Christmas I gave you my heart yeah that's step into Christmas I always drove me fucking nuts that's at the Elton John Lennight yeah I don't know I don't recognize that one I know step into Christmas oh I like the classics I like the Andy Williams yeah I like being being being cross me you hear the sound of smacks in the background like I like that one that's all all no lyrics And you hear the horse at the end

But the classic version right okay, you're doing it like I don't want to hear it if it's You don't want to tell a swifts. No, I understand why they do it because our cat it's a cash cow Christmas But well they have come I mean there are some classic modern Christmas songs What do you say? You know what I love is um what's modern? Anything him that's why I don't kind of nail this down Anything in from the 90s on 90s Well Santa well that that whatever in stone Santa Claus come to town was before that. That's before night. Now, what about the Whitney she Whitney Houston?

No, Mariah Carey. Isn't there one that everybody like she's got a carry? Right. All I want for Christmas is you. Right. Yeah, that's got to get in there. Yeah, I'll I will I will grant that right. That can grant father that one in. Of course Tom Petty's Christmas all over again

He had a whole Christmas album. No, no, I think he just said that song Do you translate beer in orchestra? Yeah, yeah Do you lose a little respect for the artist who puts out a full Christmas album? No, no, no Why? I have I mentioned fatone is coming out with a Christmas home this year? Oh, this isn't Think this is all for sure You don't think that it's This God if there doesn't and then

They're fucking out of their minds if they didn't do that that it's not It's not kind of this in January. She knows I really don't it's just done solely for the money. Yeah, that's the part I respect Well, is your ringtone this Mariah Carey song all the way for Christmas is you? Oh, it's not my ringtone. No, I said I will I respect that song I don't like it, but I respected it and it could be and it could be deemed the classic It's the best-selling holiday ringtone United States. The album has sold 5.5 million copies as of December 2015. That's crazy. The album has sold 15 million copies worldwide and is the best-selling Christmas album of all time. But that I don't like though. That shouldn't be. That should have been like,

like I said, Andy Williams. She tours him. she has a whole Christmas concert tour do you know how we people are googling Andy Williams right now like 95% of the audience I know I know but that's because you know our audience audiences isn't this country what's the nose and and thoughts here you go here's the list of best selling Christmas albums in the United States. All time. This is all time. I mean the Sanatria Christmas album, all of us in two, Elvis, Christmas album, I love us in two. Classic. So that's the best. This Phil Spector, even though they took his name off of it in later years. What do you ever do? He has probably the greatest Chris's album of all time who's Phil Spector?

He's the record producer that killed his wife and oh he's a murderer. Yeah, he's in jail like that Okay, and they took his name off the album. Yeah, it was originally called Phil Spector's a Christmas gift for you And now it's called something else Christmas gift for you, but the same So they just so they just change the name thinking that would be enough They just didn't ban the album like well the album is out like 30 years before he got yeah, but the same. So they just, they just change the name thinking that would be enough. They just didn't ban the album like, well, the album is out for like 30 years before he got, but you can't, you can't change the name off of it. He didn't sing on, he just produced it. Yeah.

All right. I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. Let me look it up. It is. It's a good album.

Well, I'll tell you the songs on. You'll know everyone. Who's who? Who sung it then? It's different. It's a good album. Well, I'll tell you the songs on. You'll know everyone. Who's who sung it then? It's different, it's different artists. It's like hold, um, here. Was it Motown? Was that it? Yes.

It is. Yeah, the Ronettes Frosty and the Snowman. You know that one. Oh, okay. The Crystal Santa Claus has come to town. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus, the famous, marshmallow world by Darlene Love. I don't know that one. That's, you definitely do hold on.

I have this. What's the fellow world? You want to know the top 10 wall? Yeah, what's number 10? Number 10 is Mary Christmas, Johnny Mathis, 5.2 million. Number 9, a Christmas album by Restrice N, 5.3 million. Babbs yourself. These are special times, Celine Dion. I heard from an industry insider.

You know what? Fuck it. I'm not going to say that. No, why not? Because I only have one industry insider. I don't want to say. Celine Dion, dirt. A little bit of dirt on Sleedon. That's not good. Merry Christmas, Mariah Carey. Number six, Noel. Bye. Come on, the man, Josh Groben. Oh, boy. A fresh air Christmas by Mannheim Steamroller.

Number four, Mannheim Steamroller Christmas. Really? Who was that? I don't even know how to do that. Mannheim Steamroller. A neoclassical new age band founded by Chip Davis. steam roller Christmas. Really? Who was that? I don't even know how to do that. Manheim steam roller? A neoclassical new age band founded by Chip Davis. That is known primarily for its fresh air series of albums which been classical music with elements of new age and rock. Who is that? What is it?

It's called Manheim steam roller. Is that like, is that like daff punk? I think it's like dubstep. I don't know what a manheim steamroller, okay. I'm gonna try that. I would, if I was you, I would go for the Christmas gift to you from Phil Specter. Yeah.

You know, you'll know every single song. Okay, I feel. All right, well here's, here's. What's number one? We'll play, oh no, we're playing a little bit of manheim steamroll here It's awesome rough. Well, let's get into the song. Oh Yeah, you're rocking baby.

It's a little proud What about like Christmas and Hollis Q? Christmas and Hollis Classic. There you go. Wait, that's all on that one album? That Christmas and Hollis wouldn't be on that one. No, no, no, no, I'm just talking about Christmas shit in general. Oh. Okay, so then you have numbers three.

What was that, though? Such a high seller, though. Who's in the eye? 28 million albums. A lot of people, because they're fucking number four and five. That's real. I've never heard that on the on the classical radio stations That play Christmas music. That King calls number three with Christmas song king Kenny G number two with miracles the holiday album

Number one cue Christmas gift for you Elvis Christmas album. All right, that very sense the real king How many albums sold? 10 million. You know, it's this crime that's not one of the Tom Steve Dave Christmas albums made that make that list. I think Ben Camp isn't reporting the actual numbers.

I think that's why this year, Ben Camp ain't getting the Christmas album. Right. They're not going to fudge our numbers anymore. We would have made that list if not for Ben Camp. Suddenly, man, Hyam's team rollers like who are these young upstarts? At a year he's 50 years young. That's right, Q. The 2017 Tom Steve Day of Christmas album will only be available exclusively on one site this year. Oh yeah. This is exciting because this year we don't have to share any money with Bandcamp. Right. And...

Or Joe Cratchett. That's right, last year we shared it with Joe Cratchett. But, no, it's exciting because there's a lot of firsts this year. First year that Brian Johnson and BQ took the producer role in the Christmas episode. And it's a Space Monkeys production. Yeah, I don't think they're going to be disappointed as long as they keep in mind that it's a Space Monkeys production. Yeah, and if they don't mind sitting there for five hours because it's pretty long. Oh, it's a long one.

It's a long one. You're getting your money, Swarth. We'll do an informal Twitter poll right now. Two. See if it's too long five hours. Yeah, I well Five hours is long. I mean who's got five hours to are you sure there's that much gold You can't like be whittled it down into an immediate a manageable three there. No way three. Yeah I just take the best of the best I Did and it's that is that I haven't made a single cut. It's all the best

I did and it's that is that I haven't made a single cut. It's all the best I think that's a bit that's a lot to ask somebody and then and how do you download such a long file? I don't know It's easy. It'll be an empty MP3. It'll be like it'll be nothing you'll be easy for Oh, yeah, everything ever easy when it's when tell them Steve they've trying to move look I hope it'll be easy. I mean at this point. I mean I listen to most of them I've got to figure on average even with us for at least five years at this point if they don't know That this bound to be problems in every single endeavor December 21st Oh, I guess so December 20th at midnight when midnight when the clock 12 o'clock 1 a.m.

12 o'clock 1 a.m. on the 21st. On the 21st. What will text you? I think it came out great. I think it came out. I was happy with the way it came out. I think it would be disingenuous to sand off the rough edges. I like keeping the rough edges in it.

Oh, I agree. I believe that people are going to be very excited because it's definitely a fresh take on Christmas from all of us. Let's not lie though, it's a bit darker than that. Because it's a space monkeys, it's a bit darker than because it's a space monkeys it's a bit darker in it's in it's in it's Christmas joy setup execution so if you like a dark a bit dark black humor yeah that's pretty accurate you are you this might be the Christmas pod for you

Because um, and if you're not into it. It's only five hours long So yeah, soldier soldier through yeah for every Tom Steve Dave listener in a five hour episode There's got to be at least something in there that will make you Realize how much yeah Christmas means to you now. Yeah, if you if you like sexism, racism, homophobia, xenophobia, there's, there's something for everyone in there. I feel. But you got to be excited, though. I mean, this may be the new Christmas tradition of moving forward. Well, let's see how this one's received.

Like you guys now own Christmas. Yeah, look, he's owning it. He's owning it and pony. Because like the, the, the, I mean, tom see if they've audience maybe like that's the way Christmas should have always been all right Fuck those stupid games and like this is real. No, I don't know. I'm pretty sure they're gonna see This is this is raw this is pretty raw. This is like like the punk rock of Christmas pop. Yeah This is pretty raw. This is like the punk rock of Christmas pop. Yeah.

It's the GG Allen. Yeah, I've got Christmas pop. We're basically, we're eating shit at you. We're flinging shit, shooting, Harlan. It's pretty rock and roll. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like it, though?

And then a number of special guests. A number of special guests. I mean, we don't know what the exact run time will be, but it's going to be over Three hours at least hopefully not much more than that, but um Well recorded for the first time and then another two and a half You gotta be liberal. You gotta be you gotta be you gotta be like you can't own you can't keep all your babies You gotta be able to kill some of them in this in this instance

Yeah, I remember someone you told my mother that I think I had an older brother at one point. Somehow I made it through. Who's that girl? He's like, you got to kill your babies, Pimp. She's like, but he's turning 50. What, it's up for at least three hours possibly for possibly five possibly five depending on if Brian gets a baby's we kill can we name it that killing babies the 27 Christmas putt what's the price tag you is is it a dollar an hour put it on five 499 for five hours your Christmas bliss that's like dollar now broadcast about about raising the price but I think we just keep it where it is. 499.

Yeah, yeah. Keep it where it's five hours, possibly four, hopefully three of pure Christmas bliss for the low, low price of 499. Right. Available only at tellmstevedev.com. Don't go looking for a band camp for it this year. Should we have a backup?

I don't know what to do here. Should we offer it in both areas? Why should we shut off one? Having a stream of revenue where most people think to find it, I don't know what to do here. Should we offer in both areas? Why should we shut off one having a stream of revenue where most people think to find it? I don't know what to do here. The Christmas, I've said in the past, a Christmas tradition I like is going to Bangkok and seeing it as the number one. We're having a buy it in our place now. I know. There's something about seeing it there. Do you think they'll post it for us anyway? Well, how much did we cut you out of the loop. 10 yeah, so it's worth 10% to you to see it in the number one spot no and I'll just go look at last year

I don't know well what we know we're gonna present that in one of those emails is one of those midnight emails alerted in email blast and email blast blasted with a link to where to go get it. I'm not sure yet. I probably shouldn't even put that in there. I don't know what should we do. Banking. I don't think. I would say no bank camp.

Why would we want to give them a bank? No bank camp. Yeah. Sorry, bank camp. You're done. It's over for you. You got too greedy. Yeah.

But could we negotiate a done to 5%? If they would take 5%, I'd say go to bank. But they don't do any of the work. All right, bank. If you're on the list. I mean, it's on the pod. It's not like we just fucking hoard everything. All right.

All right, so it tells me they have exclusive. Yeah. You can only be had there and it will bring your if you're feeling down this Christmas if you don't have a place to go. Funny people to look down on penny You're yeah, this is this is like why people watch whorters so they don't feel like they're that there's fucked up as everybody else This will make you go like Except like on hoarders. They try to treat them with a modicum of respect that doesn't happen on

And I and there's gonna be I mean look you know I don't know. And there's gonna be, I mean, look, you know, whoever's gonna buy it's gonna buy it, you know what I mean? Well, I mean, I think so. But it does have a lot of things that I can know, did not, there's like some show moments that I can resonate into next year from. Who's that big-bought-rate producer,

like a legend? Sonheim. He was a writer, right? Producer? It's two guys. Fossy, fossy, fossy, fossy. Got it right? Yeah, Foss had done it with a dancer.

I'll just say it like, because now, I mean, like there's more, there's room on the legend lineup now for producers because 2017 Space Monkey save Christmas produced by the legendary space month. Yeah. Queuing, bro. Yeah.

This is what makes people excited because this is a totally different take on Christmas and your fan base. It's a big question mark as if we even pull it off. It's like, yeah, it's like going on. There is a lot going a lot of moving parts. There's you got the ambition has to be applauded. You would think that like if you just listened to it and you didn't know it, you would be like, these guys have the energy of like college students, the passion of of college students, like going out there and trying to make the world a better place, right?

Yeah, there's no way these guys are over like 22. I want to play one here a clip of it Yeah, to wet people's appetites a little bit a little clipped from the 2017 space monkey save Christmas I know it's a great idea I know you put up a Christmas tree though. I didn't put up You had a Christmas tree in your house. Four months. Or true. That's true. And you didn't take it down.

Who did you expect to leave presents under that tree? Parents. Wait, you... Wait, when was the tree put up? When we put up the tree, it was probably about tomorrow, a couple days beforehand. No, I mean, how old were you? I mean, I was... I mean, I mean how old were you

Had a train house why why not when the fuck did you have the tree? The tree how old were you? 40 so you put it up then now How could you I mean all I mean so many of it's like going home like on Christmas to tell him Steve Dave town anybody buys it. It's like Going home and coming to our house and sitting with us at the poker table and sharing a slice of turkey, roast in a marshmallow. No shrimp.

No shrimp. And honestly, it's not everybody survives. It's so true. There are a few deaths here. There are some occupancies in tell him Steve Dave Towne some there's some apartments that are for rent come January. Everybody makes it through. Yeah. Finally something I want to talk about underpants, guys, girls, little kids. I'll give a fuck. I love underpants. If they're me on these. Every year millions of people receive the least

like gift of all time underwear. I feel like being served with a divorce would be less desirable, but that may be not. We still give it to our family and our loved ones. We just don't want it, but maybe it's not the underwear that's the problem. It's the kind of underwear. You can't be giving somebody fruit-o-looms for fucking big lads or whoever the fuck you buy them. They're coarse, they're rough, they chaff. You want your mom having a chaff butthole because you're underpants?

Let me tell you something about me undisputed. They have a soft, flexible waistband or three times softer than cotton, natural, sustainably sourced fiber. Who doesn't love that? You tell a little kid, hey, check this shit out. You thought underpants suck, but it has all this. They're gonna be super excited.

The Andes made underwear, the perfect gift that everyone is gonna love you for. Finally, someone's gonna love you. This year don't give underwear, give me Andes because it's a God damn holiday miracle. This holiday season to get your exclusive 20% off the softest underwear and socks you will ever feel. I understand they have brawlets too now. Free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee you go to meundies.com slash TESD. That's meundies.com slash TESD.

Speaking of Christmas, I thought essentially, you know since we were right on the heels of it. You don't want to hear about these retail workers who hate their lives. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, where? Do you play Chris, that we only started talking about 20 minutes ago? Do you play Christmas music here, Walt? Yesterday was Saturday and for the entire seven hours, we play Christmas music. Well, that must have been amazing and magical.

One quarter of American retail workers say their holiday spirit is dying because they're forced to listen to Christmas music all day. With some saying it's damaging their emotional wellbeing. Soft. Quick. That's the new American. I'd hear half a song and be like, I quit. Feeling less festive as a specific mental reaction

to listening to Christmas music and rebelling against it. Which rebels out there. Oh, there's a rebel out there. It's always gonna be a rebel. Right. There was has to be some squeaky wheel out there. There's always a rebel out there. It's always gonna be a rebel. Right. There was has to be some squeaky wheel, right? There was always gotta fight the cause. When I just like, I mean,

isn't it funny like people expect to like, take a job and have that job just cater a hundred percent to them? Especially in the, like if you're a retail worker, it's the one time a year that you're like, it's your fucking super bowl. You gotta know it's gonna happen. Yeah.

Speaking of that, I went to, I had to stop by Michaels today over in Bando. Oh my God, I was there too. What the fuck? The line is out of the gun. The line is out of the gun. I'm doing my Zoom. Michaels, get some more fucking cashiers.

Or teach you cashiers you have. No way. I didn't even get through the fucking atrium. I try to go no fucking way. And some old ladies, and she turned around with me. I waited in the line and I was amazed at how quickly the line moved. They they have enough people there. The line is long but they moved it through and they I thought there's a rollercoaster at the end of this fucking line. So many people were in line. It was nuts for

fucking bullshit. You know that's the stuff that a lot of kids want to share. But Amazon delivers that shit. You know the way to a single line. You know what? That's what I did. What, I needed I just went on Amazon And it's like fucking is not part of the the Christmas The minutes of my life take away as I stand in between sandwich between this hassle on that asshole Christmas I saw him doing it. It was amazing No, I

Saw him doing it. It was amazing Suddenly the workers didn't want to kill themselves anymore the road that you if you want to do it kind of do it Like you look like by the way you see me on a line turn around to me and say Merry Christmas. Yeah, or anything anything Yeah, I sure on the front of the line you want to cut me in Yeah, that um that line was Yeah, I sure on the front of the line you want to cut me in. Yeah, that, um, that line was when I saw it, it had to be like 40 people deep. I'm telling you, I had, I had no choice. I had to wait and I was, you're not going anywhere. I'm going to the other store.

You wait in this line, I'll be back. I was like, okay, I'm going to go to the bathroom first. She's like, what do you think? Just do it in your pants. But, uh, it, it moved very briskly, and I have to applaud Michaels. They had every register rollin' and it was like a machine. Don't be threatened by the line. You know, you gotta get it. How long did it take from the end till,

because maybe it was shorter though. 10 minutes? No. 10 minutes. You're in your final two-leaves You're finally doing this precious. It is precious. I don't mind just wasting my life standing on fucking lines for shit I hardly want. Why wouldn't I do it on Amazon?

I know, I know. I know you don't. I know. Michael's has to realize that you're a busy man and you don't have 10 minutes. Everyone's busy. It's the busiest time in here in these fuck-ups can't fucking get it right. It's like, Hobby Lobby is across the highway. It's closed on Sundays because they're religious

freaks. So everyone is gonna fucking come over here. You're the only arts and craft store in the area. So fucking brace yourself. Be prepared. Every register was working. They got these fucking monkeys in the fucking, like working registers that it's like, would you hurry the fuck up? Is it? Don't treat it like there's three people in line. When there's thirty people in line. No, because he don't need to do any investigation. He looked in, he poked his head. I had him a blazer with me.

He poked his head and looked at the lines like fuck-oot. That's exactly what happened. So you don't even- You have fuck-oot. I'm the fucking dumb one here. The fuck-o-geniuses are the ones online. Hey. Haha.

Are you playing with me? Like you're coming down to condemning a store for being busy. No, they can be as busy as they like if every register He's being manned what they do hire somebody who can work a fucking cash register Every register is working. You know, well I'm on this fucking topic unless you are a high-end clothing store Stop fucking folding clothes when you put them into bags. Like if you're shopping at Target, throw the fucking clothes in the bag. Stop folding them as if you're at fucking Barney's

or something. Yes, there are people in line that got fucking, like 50 shirts and the Target ladies, like folding each one and setting in a bag for sh- Shit, they're just gonna throw in the back of our car anyway. Get a folder, get a special needs guy or girl to fucking fold that shit, give him a fucking job, you know, it's it's fucking ridiculous these places I try to lay it just fucking put it in the back just

put it in the fucking bag and let me go just you need to you're the type I'm you held hostage just order online you don't deserve to you don't deserve the joy and good and the good will towards men that that is in those I don't I hate the music I don't like the people I don't want to fucking turn around you know what Merry Christmas we don't want to talk we don't want you to read good good we are so happy that me and your fucking buddies in you welcome you are attitude is shit. Keep that home.

Go into Michaels, they're like, no, no, no. God, Amazon will send you that fake fucking tissue paper that says, thank you, I'm Haseesans greetings. With your package, with your order. I would rather have that. Just reading, reading list. Then someone fucking take 10 minutes to ring up a bunch of shit and put it in a bag. They're so slow, Q.

Yeah. As a man who slow, Q. Yeah. As a man who values his time, and I know you do. Uh-huh. You don't want to stand online. You want to be online, but you don't want to be online. Wow, nice. You gotta write that down. Right, still.

Yeah, if I was, he's the old man. He's the old man, because I was Amazon. I would adopt that. Yeah. Be online. Not online. It's show, that's yeah sure we miserable online That's a good one. Yeah live your solitary lonely existence. Hey, I love it Here you can hear the echo of your fucking keyboard again, as you know against the walls

You know all me and what me and real people are connecting and the walls are so fucking out of line with each other that it takes longer to actually bounce back to me. You ricochets around the room. Yeah, I didn't feel jealous of anyone in that line. No. What's on me there? It was probably around one o'clock, one-third. It was around two.

Yeah. If I had known you were in line, I would have just given you the shit I needed. I was like, I was like, what's that stain bro? You're like, they'll let you go to the bathroom again. I would've told you, I'll, you could've given me this stuff, I would've said, okay, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll. I'm not telling you all my stuff. I couldn't do it. It would have been fair to the fucking 90 people behind me. You deserve to have your stuff wrong up. I should have a fucking shoplift at it.

That's what I should have just stolen and walked out. They would have never known. And they can't stop you, right? Go ahead, go take, go for it. See what I see. I see you have a spending Christmas in the clink. Just be great. I want to wait for a second So I shop live from Michaels and over two weeks from now. I'm still in jail

Come on man, you're my guy you're my husband You're who I go to And I have to this fucking I'm telling salt on Michaels and Christmas and fuck Michael. Wow. They took so long. I would rather go to homophobic racist fucking hobby lobby and buy their shit on a Monday than standing on the phone. I thought they were like real religious and anti this. Yeah, that's not the average. West Baptist West Baptist owns it or Registered jockeys and see that hold the ideals of Westboro online community

I was trying to troll him live and what he would listen to me. They don't want to pay for your Your birth control. Yeah, I need them to pay for my abortions God damn it. No So many portions is hobby a lot of it for religious reasons does want to pay for the They're the chick for the chick flay of fucking hobby stores Maybe but just because they decide that they don't want to pay for your birth control They become all of a sudden they become a target for the for the online community to take pot shots They don't want to pay for my birth control anybody's that's yeah, I say I'm a guy. That's not my responsibility Right, right, so why is it hobby lobby responsibility? pay for my birth control. Anybody's. Yeah, I would say I'm a guy. I saw my responsibility.

Right. Right. So why is it hobby lobby responsibility to pay for birth control? Yeah. Is that is that their thing? That's one of the big things. Yeah. They don't want to pay for birth control. And insurance they don't want to have that be a part of the to be a part of insurance. I think that's bullshit. Just pay for it. Just pay for it. Yeah, just or add it as like a... There's too many fucking people in this world, man. What the fuck? I can't go by it. I can't go by a spiral through.

There are only like, Michaels on these fucking unwanted children that should have been aborted. It's fucking nuts. There's too many people in the world. You can't fucking feed everyone. You can't fucking house everyone But like no hobby lobby. Don't don't have abortions. Don't fucking don't even practice birth control Don't practice birth control. It's birth control. That's that's that's fucking retarded. I'm sorry. That's retarded

This is religious if you want to pay I don't give a fuck what it's for if you want to pay extra because you're not a religious freak that's like hey i would like to not get pregnant if possible uh... can i at least pay like five dollars extra a month for this of this edition no date that i don't know how much it is fighting for that they want crust aboard first control who's fighting for this but i can't come to five bucks

but they don't want to even the condoms don't know. We're talking about like a look at fucker, Mr. Raincoat over here. It's not the same. It's not. Are you gonna argue it? Yeah, but that's birth control. But why is it? No, no, no, no, I don't think they're talking about robbers. They're talking about pills. The birth control pills for ladies, right? Yes. Which also regulates periods, which makes it better for ladies. Okay. Oh, yeah. So we know that for sure.

Yes, we know that for sure. Not dangerous, so there's not some form of danger. And who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares if it's dangerous? You can't live your life worrying if everything is dangerous, especially birth control that's, that's better at like six,

that's what the sixties. I mean it's a pill. It's been around sixty years, right? It's gotta be. Yeah, so, so come on, hobby, lobby. Unless you're gonna adopt all the kids that are born and take care of them, what do no religious people do? Oh, you can't have an abortion.

Oh, you can't practice birth control, but after the kids are born, who gives a fuck, right? So you can't buy birth abortion. You can't practice birth control. But after the kids are born who gives a fuck right? So you can't buy birth control pills without a prescription, I guess. Yeah, or get it from a client parent or something. Well, you can buy the morning after pill where you fucking nuke the shit out of the kid. All right. So that's like, uh, yeah, those are expensive though, aren't they? Yeah, but they want, they want the, they want the corporation to pick up the tab for it though. And the corporation is like, know to pick up the tab for it though and the corporation There's like other side who's arguing you know the quote I think both sides are ridiculous like you can't like We're gonna pay you in benefits, but from those benefits. We're gonna preclude birth control pills

We're gonna pay you a paycheck Which well, I'm sure it's huge I'm sure how do you like super generous if they're actually and I it actually is what fair But if you're paying better than fair competitive wage I don't know man like like like don't like if they're saying I'm gonna take this one and go buy birth control Then you're paying people to go buy birth control. So it's like I can't control what you buy though Yeah, but that's I'm saying that to me that says ridiculous as as making a big deal about

the birth control and the But they but if they have but if their beliefs are so strong that they don't want to have a hand in the In the prevention of a shot not even an abortion the prevention people don't necessarily want to get pregnant But they want to bang not everyone's Tim Tebow so Why not just offer it to them and be like hey? we'll observe our own religious shit. We can't. You got it, but why, what's wrong with just respect? I'll bet you, you know what, I'll bet you,

respecting this corporation. Everybody have to do what they want. Oh, fuck, fuck a corporation. I got to respect them now. I go, oh, these are their beliefs. As if it's a person. So, so what you're saying is you want the government to be able to tell a business

what they have to offer people. I didn't see that. That's what you said. No, I think that I think that's a hobby lobby should take a step back and be like, you know what? These are our beliefs. These are not necessarily be their beliefs. Like what if you're not fucking Christian? Then what? Yeah, but what if you're a horny Muslim, but you're forcing them to offer something that they don't want to offer? Right It happens all the time. There's a lot of content. The force in this baker guy to bake a deeper A game wedding cake. I don't think I don't think the government should force anybody to do anything Before just to do shit every single day. The other side of the argument is though if they don't force them to do certain things though

then to do shit every single day. The other side of the argument is though, if they don't force them to do certain things though, then a lot of people will be discriminated against though. Sure, so how can you say like, oh, well affirmative action, but not birth control? To me, both of them are, if there was a baker and I heard that they weren't fucking making cakes for days, I wouldn't go in there. And if there was a baker who wouldn't sort of cakes for days I wouldn't go in there and if there was a baker who wouldn't serve black people I wouldn't go in there right So there are people that would right but then why shouldn't to me? I'm like

Let the market settle out if the guy wants to open a fucking pizza-ray in red bank where he's like no black people are out Let him see I think there is one or two right. Nobody's's going to go. They're going to go out of business. That's against the law, though. Right. Only because a law was made. I don't know that. Look, I don't know, man, because I understand why, and I definitely don't want people discriminated against, but I don't like the government telling us anything.

Even if the government is saving you money in tax dollars, why not having all these fucking kids that then have to be on the system? I don't think that that's a cause and effect. I don't think that's happening. Maybe. You think that's happening? The Hobby Lobby people are having kids. They don't want...

I give them up for a tax run. If it was a vendigrem of lobby, lobby, babies, and my tax is... I'd be interested to see it. I don't think that they did really over cross. I'm like, to me, I don't know, man, I don't find... But what about Walmart and censorship? Like Walmart doesn't allow certain CDs

and what it takes to lyrics. That's fine, Walmart's a lot to decide what they sell and don't sell. I'm fine with it. I don't like... And they offer the Walmart version without the custom. They get my point.

You love it. I like the idea of your tank. Everybody be able to do what they want to do and let the fucking market settle it out. It's unrealistic, that's not gonna happen. Why? Because it's not gonna happen, the government is already too big. Would you go any place that fucking

how to sign out front that's in no blacks? Aside from your house? Right, from on Stan Island, that's just there. No, no, no, no, no, of course that. Oh my God, but there's not a chance, you know, that that that would ever happen, but there's a good chance though, that discrimination could happen

if certain laws aren't in effect. Which ones? Just like being hired, being jobs or interviews, anything. But why would I want to... like being hired, being jobs or interviews, anything. But why would I want to work? We're all someone who doesn't want to work. Who doesn't want to work? Like Ryan said, though, like enrollment, certain enrollment for colleges have to be a certain percentage

and just to make it fair for. But fair how? Because there's no chance of discrimination. So whitey doesn't just take over. Yeah. Yeah, I think I would rather see is just a blind admission process, really fucking level of playing field. Instead of this assholes daddy knows this person

and he has my son's thing and get them in and that's a fucking problem. Shut up to the fire department. Yeah actually I broke that. Shut up to my regime. But it would be nice but you know that there's no such thing what could ever exist or truly blind. Yeah I mean... Admission. So you think that makes it imperative. Law is a laws and effect in force and and help make make it so that

people can't treat people or not include people where they probably if they weren't forced to they wouldn't include them and then yeah but if there was a school that was like if there was a college that was like, if there was a college that was like, we're not, we're not, if there was a college today, that was like, white only. Right. Well, they wouldn't say that though. It would just be very, very, like, out. I mean, that's it. They would never, they would never say that. But if you will look at it and be like, you, this is a, this is a fucking white college. Third Reich University. Yeah. Like, not only, not only would not, would I, would I fucking not apply to applied at school but if i own the business look at a higher people and i saw that came out of white only university i'd be like what i'm not hiring

you okay so if you went there you were you're going to enroll right to white only in no no it the this is they're not pro not proclaiming that but that's what you would realize that it was like how how would you have a reputation were perceived okay i heard of this place but like let's say they're like how That's what you realized that it was. How would you- The reputation would proceed. Okay. Like I heard of this place. But like, let's say there, like how quickly would you pick up on there?

But like, hey, wait a second. I don't see, I see everybody who looks like me here. How long, like you would pick up on that immediately? I think so, yeah. Well, I grew up in New York City where I'm used to a bigger mix. Like a melting pot. Yes.

So if I was in a situation where I looked around, I was like, but it is just all white people here? Like, did it happen when I looked at it? I probably know. There's Tonya think. I don't know, I'm not saying I speak in freer, but I'm saying I don't know, I mean how long, how quickly would I pick up a new one?

He might think he's on a Joker's cruise. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER I think, like you said said slippery slope. It's hobby life it doesn't want to pay for it. I think that's fine. They should be forced to pay for it. But within the health insurance plan that they offer, have a writer and a denim whatever

that says if you want birth control, you have to pay for it. It's X amount of extra dollars. But they're saying they don't want to do that. I know they're saying they don't want to do that. But they've taken a lot of lumps for their their their stance Have you to get to start their business? I think I think a lot of people have said that they I think it's I think it's both Some people who are like well, I I'm going to support high-value because they least They come out and say what their beliefs are and they trying to stand by their beliefs

But a lot on the other side just people like, I will never support Hobby Lobby for there. That's the way it should, to me, that's the way it should be. Like, I mean, if it sinks, then it deserves to sink. And if it stays afloat, then it deserves to stay afloat. You know what, I don't care what your religious beliefs are. Whoever has the fucking shorter line, that's where I'm going. Now, that's where I'm at. So do you know why I had to go, you know why?

That's Amazon. Do you know why I was in that fucking long line of why couldn't get out No, because I like he's point one percent black keep him out. I was like come on guys Because I needed to get rapping paper because I was I want I had to rap your guys gifts like oh because I was I wanted I had to wrap your guys gifts. Like oh, oh, oh, segue nice. That's very nice. I thought I wanted to do I got some gifts for you guys for Christmas and I wanted to do this on an unboxing, ask video because these are super hot.

Okay. These videos for people unbox things get. We're going to get them. It's going to go viral. Yeah, but what do people do? Like it can't just be people opening the gift. Don't they have to get excited and like lots of You guys are going to be yeah

It's gonna be like if you want us to fake excitement You're not gonna have to fake it if you if you if you are not legit If you're not legitimately excited by this then you don't have a pulse. Okay. This is one of the, this should be the gift of all gifts you've ever received in your life I think. Wow. What's the best gift you've ever gotten? Best gift I ever got? On Christmas. Like what is it? What's the time?

I know you said it was Nintendo when you were like eight years old. I was going back to Nintendo. Well, I didn't want to do it, but I have to upsurpe your hand. Wow. And she's going to have to be going down to number two. I hope so. This is all in the middle of the night. Number two. I'm going to do it. You're going to do it too. So like you've heard about these on boxing videos, right? They're a phenomenon. I didn't know they were a phenomenon. I mean, people. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. Like the amount of views are crazy. So we're

going to put the video on tomsteve.com. And I hope they're up there now. I hope to replicate. I want to open and get the same kind of amount of hits that some people get. It's out. It's outrageous. Yeah, but I mean what do people I feel people in those videos flip out and scream and like do that. That's where we got it. And shit. We We gotta do it. No, I don't know. I don't think you need to fabricate. If I just open the box, I'm like, ah, this is cool, man, thanks. I still think it'll, I still think it's the,

the act of someone watching somebody open something somehow is mesmerized, the country. All right. And I wanted to see if we want, we want to get a little bit of that action right Yeah, why aren't we gonna taste to that action? All right, that's a little box of like unboxing video. How many views? 2.4 million I thought unboxing though is like when somebody gets a new iPhone

They unboxed it to show you what the product is. I didn't know it was like gift. Well, I've got that's why I've got Yeah, they do that. I guess this doesn't matter. Right, but one's a more like a technical research thing. You're saying though, there are videos of people opening gifts and be like, oh my God, this is amazing. That I don't know if there's gifts. I just thought it was anything in a box. Hopefully there is.

Oh, right. Because any unboxing videos that I've heard of were always like, the new iPhone come out. What does it look like? And the guys is like, here we go. We got the new iPhone come out What does it look like and the guys like here we go? We got the new iPhone oh, so you're telling me that they people who are watching it even know what's gonna be in the box and they're still Yeah, what the fuck they already know what it is then yeah, but it's showing the products Yeah, they're showing something to the product going to a store and get that though go see what the product is If you want to fucking stand online for a half hour

Revease of things before It's similar. So you're saying we may not get the you may not the 2.4 If you want to fucking stand online for a half hour, you might have to read reviews of things before. Okay. It's similar. So you're saying we may not get the, we may not get the two point four. We may not get the two point, we can get the, but well, I mean, they don't know what it is. Why would we watch this?

Um, I don't know. I still think there's something ingrained in it. So we've got our own thing. Yeah. All right. So who, well, probably you want to go first. So you just sit there, you're going to videotape it. I'm okay.

Well, how are you going to video it? And so it's, but then you won't be in it. Yeah, you won't be Okay, you need to see me. This is all about you know what I'll get on the faces of A man who doesn't have long to live All right, I like this and Bride this gift I'm giving you that's this is from the Be cute the gift we're giving you. this is for me and Brian. Oh, okay I do a gift. Oh wow and it's for your birthday on Christmas. Oh, okay, it might be it may be for a couple Christmas's so Oh, this is maybe a cue may have a chance to you know if you

In a couple years and then when the glow wears off this gift Yeah, she gives you something big all right, she can up sort of probably not You oh, she's not even alive anymore. No, she gets you something big. She comes back. She can up sort of. Probably not. Oh, she's not even alive anymore? No, she is. But I don't think she buys me gifts anymore. I think I'm just too old. All right. And this is, unfortunately, is not a traditional box, either.

Yeah, it's kind of an unwrapping video, more than an unboxing video. All right, here we are. Look at this. This fucking idiot set a life for how long? Just like a tear this off. Alright, what do we got here? What's up? Do I want to turn it around? I feel like I want to turn it around. You want to see your faces. This is all about...

I guess the face is in me. Let's see your faces. This is all about... I guess then, to face it to me, let's see. Face it to you. This is my first for your... ...to join. Okay. Alright. So first I look at it? Oh, shit! That is pretty amazing.

Oh, that is great! Did you paint this? I had it put on canvas, but this is a page Turn around. Yeah, I know. No, this is my favorite. This is my favorite image from cryptos. Oh, it's crazy Man, if we got put it on canvas. Is this where I go nuts? Yeah, Through backflip. Oh backflip I'd fucking kill myself. That is great. That's pretty awesome. So that would look great in the crooked house. Yeah, you gotta get me a like scream. I should hang it in sage's room, right? You gotta get a real like nice spray. I'm sorry if I say it.

So yeah, that was this is a paint black distressed wood, like fancy, like haunted mansion looking frame. That would look great. And that's, wait, so this isn't painted, it's printed on canvas? Printed on canvas. I find a place to do it and I thought it would be I was like what could I put on canvas and I had the perfect picture Wow, huh? Pretty fucking sweet. I love it. Yeah, it's what gives really good Christmas gifts

I'm not even kidding around not to get even this this is nothing cool nothing cool Compared to yours. Can't go there go like I would say you go over where I'm gonna love the video of you fucking filming the fucking bookcases behind you All right, Brian you want to put you want to film then sure now that you got your gift. Yeah, thank you Man, that is quite pretty awesome. Thanks buddy Okay, cute. Don't open it me. It's like a bridegroom.

Alright. Let me get a money shot of the item and cue. Alright, go on now. Okay, cue. Open your eyes. Whoa! Holy shit! Back clip time baby. Yeah, you ain't kidding. I'll be careful.

Don't fuck it up. It's crazy. Huh? Yeah, you ain't kidding. Now be careful. Don't fuck it up. It's crazy. Huh? Yeah, holy God. That was made by a big time-lister Joe C. Oh, yeah, he's ready to go. I think his last name is. He's done some other work for us.

We got him to, man, three printed out. Yup, 3D Prank. That is unsat you. That is unbelievable. Damn, man, that looks great. He didn't remain enough. Close up of this guy. We can't pick it up by anything other than the two ends. That's the only way you can pick it up. Okay.

Otherwise you're gonna, it's too fragile and something will break off. But I thought that would look great on your office. Little Talham Steve Dave on the tank. What size, yeah. So when can they buy their miniature four color demon guys on a merged table? Yeah. We can reproduce this because it's the detail.

Yeah. We can have him printing out 3D versions of this. No, not when we have, not when we're sitting on a thousand skulls. Yeah. Mm-hmm. If you want, they should better buy those fucking skulls. Oh, man. Merry Christmas. Thanks, man. Wow. All right. It's some Christmas, huh, Q? That was pretty good. So what do you think, does Aunt Q, is

she in position? That to me. Oh, what did she give you again? On the, the original NES system the original Yeah, so yeah, it's tough to compare like the excitement of a child with the With the surrender of an older man That's pretty. I mean that's unique. That's one of a kind. It's gorgeous Yeah, I think it's pretty like they look awesome way and wherever you ever I already know I think it's pretty, why they look awesome way and wherever you're in here. I already know what I'm gonna put it in here.

It's a good spot for you. Thanks guys. No problem. He would have gotten me one, but it would have slid right off the fucking table onto the floor. You're a cork at house, you ass. Yeah, thanks guys. Blue Apron, I'm talking about Blue Apron, the leading meal kit delivery service in the United States.

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I don't know, what are you doing for Christmas? I'm going to my brother-in-law's. Coney brother-in-law's. He lives around here, right? He lives, yeah, he lives a little bit south of me. Nothing, nothing, nothing all that's spectacular very warm and intimate Christmas. What about you? I would say is out of way of saying I'm not invited. I don't know. I don't know. I mean after the debacle of Thanksgiving, do we did the Johnson's attempt another holiday day?

Together. Will we? Yeah. I mean, we have for the past couple decades, we'll get fights every year, yeah. So that will look Thanksgiving day. Um, I'll bring. I'll be forgotten by then. Well, like, in the morning, nobody's even a resurface.

I mean, my mother probably forgot them, like, minutes after I left. It's a goldfish, yeah. Pretty much. I'm a dory. Um after I left. Goldfish, yeah, pretty much. I'd worry. I'll bring sage over, but I don't, yeah, I don't really like it. It'll probably be the same thing pretty much, you know, same shit. I don't like from the 25th until like the first. Once it's the second, then I'm like, all right, now we can, everything's back on track.

I don't like the holidays. I don't like them, you I'm like, all right. Now we can, everything's back on track. I don't like the holidays. I don't like them, yeah. Like Halloween. Halloween's the best one, obviously. Thanks, G going. Is all right. I didn't like Christmas for a good like 12 years of my life and then I just,

no, you like it again? I think it went away with like a lot of unhappiness in my life, it was just another like contrast to like my mental state versus the world. But now I get into it. I like it. So you showed up all Grinchy and shit and people are like, I'm glad he's here. Sometimes I didn't show it. I would work Christmas. On purpose?

Yeah. I would, you know, the firehouse because it was always fun hanging out with the guys. Yeah. I like to go to movies on Christmas because like not a lot of people are there if you go early. They're hardly anyone there. I like that. I used to do that a lot, but this year, I don't know, I always just go to my mom's and Christmas even and I use to spend Christmas alone. Stop by the firehouse for a little bit.

You know what I mean with them? And then spend the rest of the night like playing video games is just chilling out. I enjoy scowling from my window. Yeah. A lot of people walk by. I like there is He's unhappy I forget about the bug. I think that was a real important message is though like goodwill

towards men There's a man Man, no, I'm like a memory remember that definitely I Yeah, these are I was just wondering if you were time in it. Yeah, I am. Well, 55 minutes. OK. Yeah, I think that people should be that way all year round.

Yeah, you're right. They should be, but I think sometimes we need a reminder and we need to be a little bit extra. Yeah. I like to highlight these remind people of that. I'm going to be rolling with getting into that. Being like, no, it is a special time of that. I'm doing something wrong with getting into that. Being like, no. It is a special time of year.

Like why not? Why not buy into it? Yeah, if you can't, if you could just muster it up for this month, because you know, because you know January's coming, and everybody's going to forget about it. And you probably will too. But for this month, why not just get into it and show your fellow man how much?

How much you love standing in lines and turning around the talk to strangers. No, it is a choice. Even people who are like, and I used to be one of these people, are like, fuck Christmas, I don't give a shit, these people are morons. That's as much a choice as being like, I love it, like let's get into it. And it's as not unique a choice as buying into it. So many people like fucking I don't care about Christmas. Like you're not, like you're not,

you're not cooler than everybody can. Well, I mean, you're talking, I mean, Muslims and Jews. Or like, yeah, Jews are like, what are you talking about? They're like, oh man. Right. Christmas is like your name. For the holidays. We could say Christmas, but I'm really mean that like the whole holiday season

Yeah, and I think it's also you gotta I mean Guys are maybe not you cue your you're still pop your young buck. Yeah You 40 years you'll feel it Christmas is do we have with all our factors in general? Hey all are and like where we're really still healthy and there's really nothing to... There's really nothing, no impending doom, you know, looking over our shoulder. How many... how many healthy Christmas is do we have? You never know man, like like it could die on the way home tonight so it could be zero

or I could fucking God forbid could be 50 you gotta really get you gotta remember that though because there's gonna be a time and you know it's gonna happen you're gonna be like man I wish really wish I had um recognized how crazy and God's like you better recognize how wonderful uh this this time I wish I had recognized how crazy it has. God's like, you better recognize. How wonderful this time of the year can be. And you take it for granted because there's nothing physically wrong with us right now.

But how many more of those seasons we got left in us where we're working? I thought 10 years ago it was zero, but here we are. We're not dealing with something major or, you know, or, you know, everybody around this is relatively, you know, in good shape. Exactly. So why do you want to waste time in a line at Michaels? For you guys.

Oh, fuck it. Oh, fuck it. Put it on me. For you guys to do it. I mean, yeah. It's just same. Get it, Matt. I'll launch. We're going to do it. I mean, yeah. It reminds you the same. Get it man on lunch. We're going to CVS or any other number of places

that sell Christmas wrap. I was at Sears today. It's a ghost town. Yeah. Yeah, they have it for sure. This was special Michael's paper. And I felt like that. I had to.

That's true. It's pretty, it's pretty cute paper. It's nice. Yeah, I don't know. People are like, oh, it's so much better when you have kids though like even if you don't enjoy it It is pretty good with kids and I can't deny that and you and us know that too. I don't I don't know that no She doesn't get excited. She gets excited. She gets shit. I mean she doesn't play with the shit She goes back to the same stuff that she likes you know new stuff getting for littlest pet shop shit getting tossed out

You know, new stuff getting for littlest pet shop shit getting tossed out. Yeah, I mean my kids are my kids the the excitement level is totally, you know, it's not. It's kind of like you guys open in these presents, you know, they're not little kids anymore where they're, you know, they're not like bouncing off the walls and you're not like jacked up. They're not getting up at like six in the morning. No, yeah, they still do, but there's that, days you know those days were awesome now where like you know like Santa was was coming Right and that fear of like, you know, I'm not sleeping yet like that panic of like I got to get to sleep I got to get to sleep, you know my neighbors said that she reported that to the cops when I left the window She's like looks like Santa's coming.

There's an elf in there with them. Oh my god. Quickly get here. Merry Christmas Steve Dave. Oh No ads, right? We have to put a bit later. I'll probably have to put them in. How about a how about that's a gift probably have to put them in the database. Oh, come on. How about a, how about that's a gift to the listeners? Right. An ad for Christmas? Right.

And then in return, they give us a gift by going to TelmsteaveDave.com and getting the Space Monkey Save Christmas episode. I thought you were going to say knock-around boxing video up to 2.4 million, but... No, no. If you could do both, that'd be cool. I mean, it's got to be a lot of program out there that can do it right there. Have you ever seen these farms where they have like cell

phones that are raiding apps and shit? Some apps will hire these farms in Asia that will just give them five star reviews. It's like a wall of fucking phones, cell phones that better do it automatically somehow. No, no, no, not like a farm with cows and shit. We could get something like that, where it's just like, they're dialing up views and shit, right? So we can be popular.

Yeah. We could become YouTube sensations. Do we wanna be YouTube sensations? Why not? I don't know. He's a big paycheck with that though. Yeah. So you're a TV sensation, so you don't need it.

I am. We're not. We're still green. Nothing. I know. Real jerks. Well, I don't know what we're going to do next year about, you know, the ads and stuff like that. I mean, what do you guys want?

Like, what's your idea of being a podcast sensation? Oh, that trains past. Yeah. If it's gonna happen, what happened by now? Loyal audience, but I mean, there's podcasts that put that laugh with laugh at our numbers. Oh, I'm sure, but who cares? About them.

I do. You'd rather have the big numbers? Oh, I'd rather have the big numbers not me I'd rather have the I'd rather have like a flattening and Christmas Intimate people are all on the same page not a bunch of fucking mouthy jerks that are like hey, man He fucking said this and I don't like it or like hey, man like why don't you guys talk about this or don't talk about Hobby lobby or whatever like then you start answering to people. I've been doing that for fucking last five years. I can become a sensation.

I'll fucking answer a couple more people. Yeah, I mean, I've been answering and cow-towing my views for the last five years. And with no hint of any kind of sensation though, to pay for paying that. Well, when you're saying shit like, women shouldn't be allowed to breastfeed in public like oh you're telling me what I've been saying is you're insane I'm saying that won't get you to be a sensation you have to what would I think it I think with a fuck knows you see the you see the dopey shit that becomes a sensation I think it would have been if we got like operational on guests and stuff I know you would have thought like at this point you would be enough, but...

Oh, he's not. He's a big... I mean, he's a big... Not enough to make us sensations. I know, now. No, I mean, it's not. I mean, that would be a Christmas miracle. Is it possible?

It's on me and you. Yeah. It's 100%. But that's what it's 100% on us. What is your bar of sensation? Like, what are you guys looking for? Hits. We want to be viral.

Um, time. Huge. use time life top 10. Oh, what's what is that bring you? Is that bring me? Yeah recognition. So you want recognition? Yeah better recognize I mean, how many people? Why is that enough the world? You need the world to dominate the world the pod world Why it wouldn't mean anything if you know different. It's better. It would mean a hell of a lot more. We wouldn't be sitting on a fucking thousands of skulls.

We would definitely would have been. So you're talking, so that's not recognition. You're talking about sales. That's the difference. Well, there's a doubt. It goes hand in hand, doesn't it? If we could just sell all these skulls, then I'd consider myself a sensation.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I guess. But I mean, I think if it was, if it is, if it is, I mean, look, I'm not saying, look, we have a, I'm very thankful, especially this time of year,

for the loyal, rabid fan base we have. But I think it's shrinking. Just like anything, I think the bubble burst on Tom Steve Dave a couple years ago and now our audience is shrinking. It's just diminishing returns now. Yeah, but I like the ones that are left. Me too. Yeah, I like the hardcore. Okay, I like them too, but I don't think I would,

but I would never turn my nose up at what, like if somebody had the secret, here's the keys To having a podcast that would dominate the podcast world. I thought we were gonna do it when we got the That iTunes word back in the day Boasting we we start we kicked it off with a bang. Yeah, and we know the world I thought was was the oyster, but it turned out to be a stinky clam. Well, maybe you have an idea that was right. Maybe the time has come to shut down, tell them, Steve Dave, and start something.

No, it's the last. No, I would have focused on a different name. Yeah, just a different name. Yeah, maybe you've had that idea several times over the years. You know, I thought you got death threats. A reput. Yeah, I have a one person, one that, death threat, not death threats.

Yeah. One person was pretty irate, but, um, most downloaded shows, I'll give you the top five. Yeah, I'd like to hear it. Fresh air, Rogan, who is a really good show. Stuff you should know, podcast, Dave Ramsey, and The Daily, which is in the year two but they provide something

Most of those are like like you learn something from listen except for Rogan Well, he has guests that generally like will be informative all the rest are here at Ted radio out I plan it money Yeah, get them all the time back then That lives are what you think what you're up to them All these while back then, how much of their lives are, what's your, what's your, what's your,

what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your,

what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your,

what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, what's your, One guy who's on TV you can't turn a TV on and out without without seeing his face and two other guys who are on TV If you blink you miss him, but still they're on TV And it's like sometimes if you don't bring your miss him and it's crazy though that like um, we never Never did anything we never we never we never

Made a specific we kind of you can't do what we do, which is like, it's always up to our whims to do, you know what I mean? Like, you can't peg what the show is. Like, sometimes it's this, sometimes it's that, sometimes it's that. I bet you all these shows have like a solid format that, when you tune in, you know, you're getting, this is what I'm listening to. You don't think they, we don't think after this many years, the list, our listeners know exactly what they're getting this is what I'm listening to you don't think they we don't think after this many years The list that our listeners know exactly what they're getting every week. Yeah, but you're talking about growth And I think that people look at all our episodes and they're like, well, where the fuck do I start? Yeah, like how do I wait? Where do I sit at for years? That's I'm saying like your idea of a reboot might might not be

2018 maybe we tried it we tried it My number one 18 maybe we tried it. We tried it out 10 minutes in we haven't tried it legitimately going full board In name change final episode of tell them Steve Dave and then a new app then start a new take like two weeks off To start the appetite getting wet and then start something new With a hard strict format. That's a good idea. I really anyone has started new podcasts these days. So we should definitely get another grant for. I know you're reluctant to do it, but I mean, I don't know. I just thought it's a new format. So we're talking about like investing or...

No, I mean, there's only certain things we can talk about, but... I think we talk about... The shit that we can talk about, we talk about. Week after week, otherwise we don't know. I don't know. We don't know of us, have any specialized skills, none of us are experts in anything. No, not really. Not the world's talk about anything.

I think it is a head scratcher, and I've always thought it, like I'm like, why are we so niche considering that it's three people on TV? Yeah, but look at the TV shows we're talking about. You're, you don't diminish you, you're, you're on 24, seven. Yeah, but even, but it's not the biggest show in the world. It has a law. It's like IJ is a lot like this show on that. Like, the audience is huge, but, but the audience is loyal and they identify the show. I read a lot. And if you don't identify with the Prattal Joker's, then maybe the humor isn't enough to carry it. You know what I mean? I think that's a lot like our show. And if you don't identify with the Prattal Jokers, then maybe the humor isn't enough to carry it. I mean, I think that's a lot like our show. It's like, think people identify with us or identify with one of us or we're a point of view and they come for that.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm not saying like, I mean, it would be risky because you could alienate the hardcore listener base that we have that we have. I want Fitzman turning this back on you. I don't want that. I think once you start chasing that, then it becomes a work. It's very rarely to see if they felt like work to me. If you're driving all the way back and forth and you still don't feel like that's work, that's good.

That's good. But... It never ceases to amaze me. Your commitment to driving down here all the way back and forth and you still don't feel like that's work that's good. Yeah. That's good. But it never ceases to amaze me. Yeah. Your commitment to driving down here all the time. It never ceases to amaze me. Wow. I've said like, hey, we'll meet you halfway. We want to meet somewhere in a diner or something. So you have to keep, you know, but you're like, sounds to stitch. I like coming here and sitting around the table and bullshitting, you know? All right. I mean, I just saying it like it is, I don't know, you've never thought of of that like it can you people please buy those skulls? You just fucking buy the skulls please

Not at all. I mean I'm very it's a very happy Christmas Because like I said, I don't know if this will be I don't know how many more I got left in me So I'm not gonna worry about some some unsolved skulls. I can let it ruin my Christmas Like I let it ruin my Thanksgiving We're at any number of holidays that came before Christmas. Hopefully, hopefully there's that one thing that's going to click in 2018 that's going to propel us into that stratosphere that these other podcasts live in the air that they breathe. I don't know. I don't think so. No. You can give me hope, can you?

Because I don't want to see you let down. Because I don't think it's imperative. I don't think that it... Well, it's not. I mean, you wouldn't have the same feeling if it was IJ though. You'd want as many people on the planet watching it as possible, right? You would always want that. Yeah, but for different reasons. I don't know that IJ is as personal as Tonsy Davis. Oh, I would say not. So.

Okay. And you make good arguments. But, but this way, I do Tonsy Davis for free. Like, we've started making money, you know what I mean, off in here and there, but really it's like, what would I do it for free? Yes, I really do do it for free. Like we've started making money, you know what I mean off it here and there, but really it's like what would I do it for free? Yes, I really do do it for free between all the time. So it's like something I say lose money. Yeah, some might. And if true is like, hey, good news, we're gonna give you season eight, but we're not gonna pay you. You guys make the show. I would be like, wow, I mean it's been a good run. You know, guys, thanks.

Thanks for all. Well, I know I like to hear, but you know, it does that's almost like Christmas, like a Christmas present to me, though, that you say you don't want, you're happy. You're content with Tom Steve Dave, just the way it is, Brian. Content with it the way it is now? Yeah. You're just, you know, with the last race, the numbers, the, everything. It's, yeah, it couldn't be better. It took for you. No, it couldn't be better.

It unfolded organically and it unfolded without trying to chase any one like demographic and It's exactly what I want to do week after week, which is a good fit for me. I didn't need to open up a Christmas present tonight No, which I did but I mean I found out Nobody told us that we were opening Christmas gifts like that Like three weeks before Christmas. This is awesome. awesome. That's a nice Christmas present. I mean, God bless us all. I don't even have to fucking stand in line to do it.

Merry Christmas, everybody at home. Yes. And to my dear friends, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Little PS Walt about these skulls. I have a story from a girl who bought one. She was wearing her kissing skull shirt. She bought a skull.

Right. She gave him the money and she had two bloody marries on the cruise. A girl Melissa, she forgot she was holding them, dumped one on her own head and she tried to save her hat. The other one landed on her as well. Well, while you have a stroke, you have a picture daughter. Are you interested in sentences that aren't there? I mean, like I just...

This girl is basically saying that the kissing school did not work for her. It's a cursed skull. Why would it work? She gave it money. Oh, she gave it $5? Well, the two give it $5? Here's the actual skull fight, Alice.

Here it is. She gave it $1. I mean, is it null and void? You should have given money. I we supplied the money in the shredded money in the in with the with the package. They never give it any more money. I mean, so where did she go wrong? This Melissa? We got to send $5. into the skull of the store. And then you won't get a bloody Mary dump on your own head. Right. This is this is the curse magical object here. That's just to remind you. Like like how Jewish people wear the Yamaha. Right. The little skull is to remind you to fucking as far as I know. Yeah. I mean,

I mean, unless unless it has magical powers that I'm aware of, but it is 3D printed. So I don't know. There's essence to skull in it. Yeah packed by children. Merry Christmas. I'm like an illusion, trip out illusion We got these demons in our head, we got to lose them, fight for what we do now And I gonna get in some out, but we stand right here, no we ain't gonna drop And don't just run away from not feeling you stay from I know I won't And look out on a great ride of things that you might find Take you away, hey, hey, no Just let your mind go, oh, no, no, oh, just let your mind go, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no

Just let your mind go, no I'm situation, why going waste on We got these problems in our head, we got to face them My melody's so bright, gonna make you feel alright So we stand right here, no we ain't gonna drop I hopped on a plane to escape from this light view Chosen me to do no, oh And now I'm in a place where I'm living in no fear

This life that I'm going to love Just let your mind go, oh, oh, no, no, whoa Just let your mind go, oh, oh, just let show, just let show Just let your mind go, oh, oh, no, no, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, go, no, no just let your mind go, just let your mind go, just let oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, This has been the production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com.