Tell Em Steve-Dave - #364: Himamānav

Episode Date: February 3, 2018

Bry gets as nasty as he wants to be, Git ‘Em runs afoul of Mike, a mystery substance lands on train tracks in a certain country. Music: Thy Kingdom Slum - Master Plan

so fuck you shut up asshole And I believe Frank Five, to his credit though, I believe he was too enamored with you guys. I support Mike. I'm friends with Mike. I am positive towards Mike. I'm friends with Mike. I am positive towards Mike. Tell them, Steve, Dave. Hey, Walt here. And before we begin the show, just a quick announcement. On February 5th, the four Cryptozoic Man bonus pods will finally be available on TellEmSteveDave.com.

Now, before I start getting hate mail, let me explain. I made the promise to all the listeners that were kind and supportive enough to purchase the Cryptozoic Man comics that I would never sell those four bonus pods without the book being tied to the purchase. And we kept that promise for the last four years by selling the Cryptozoic Man Trade paperback along with the bonus pods on MerchTable. But TSD has been informed that the Cryptozoic Man Trade paperback is officially out of print and there are no more copies available at any distributors. I hope there won't be any listeners who feel this is kind of breaking the promise we made to never sell those pods unattached to the book because I never took that promise lightly. But since it's not possible to sell them together anymore, I felt we kind of kept that promise. So if you are a new listener or someone who didn't have the bread or you just never got around to picking them up, now you can pick them up at TellEmSteveDave.com. You get the Cryptozoic Man pod.

You get the Fiasco pod. man pod um you get the fiasco pod um you get taking hay which is unofficially making hay three in my opinion and you get the fourth bonus pod which was i think we played um a serial killer board game if memory serves me correct there um but yeah go pick them up if you haven't ever listened to them. I think they're good pods. And thank you for all the listeners who supported it way back when and made it a success. Thank you. All right. Let's start the show.

Hello and welcome to Tell Them Steve Dave Presents Overkill with Q. Oh, this isn't Overkill. Next week's Overkill. Oh, we're not doing Overkill today? I thought we were doing it today too. All right. Yeah. Back to back Overkill.

Back to back Overkill. All right. Do you have a little, a few things to talk about? Like Walt and his adorable family. That's an Overkill? That Alec is not, no. But, you know, we're not going to do a solid hour of paranormal. All right.

Why not? That's normal. I want to address Walt and his. All right. And what I suspect he directed his publicist to insert as a puff piece about his wonderful family. Oh, so this is an overkill. Yes.

This is conspiracy stuff. There's a little conspiracy going on here where I think in order to curry favor with the family, Walt had this article planted. It's too positive, this thing. It didn't say anything that's not true. It didn't. That's what I hated about it. Really.

I'm like, this article could not have been written about me at any point in my life from the moment I was born. They're quoting George Bernard. This is liverampup.com. Well, what is it? People don't know what you're talking about. I'm about to tell them. It is liverampup.com and this is three weeks

ago. We stumbled upon an article Three weeks ago? It was written three weeks ago. It only came to my attention like two days ago a happy family is but an earlier heaven George Bernard Shaw said I don't even recognize the name because the guy who wrote this article is a better writer than

George Bernard Shaw I don't even care what George Bernard Shaw wrote it's claim to a burden. It would not be wrong if we associate it with Walt Flanagan, who is churning every family moments into beautiful memories. I don't think that George Bernard Shaw would pluralize unnecessarily. So he's got that on whoever wrote this. I mean, if we're going to worry about grammar, then let's not re-enter articles.

No grammar Nazism here. Okay. Walt Flanagan is indeed a lucky man who has such a beautiful family on his side. So why not read a beautiful story of your famous comic book artist down below, blah, blah, blah, blah. So then it goes on to talk about Walt and everything seems gleaned from this show and your wife's Facebook account. Did she make it private or she didn't care? We didn't even get into it. No?

Yeah. He didn't tell her. There must be nothing going on in the world. I mean I guess Trump is, it has been quiet for the last week. Why on earth would anybody write a story about this though? I think that since you're so secretive, you're losing a few layers of your married life

and people like to see that. People like to see that. Am I that secretive? I didn't think so, but. I guess it's private, it's a little bit private being secretive. I guess so. Is it? In this world, yeah, where people – like they tweet out every thought.

Oh, yeah. They Instagram every moment. Oh, yeah. About cups. Got to put that out, yeah. About thermal cups. About thermal cups, which is called riffs between co-employees. Can we – I mean I find that more interesting than an article that is –

Can we talk about it? A puff piece? I mean you call it a puff piece. I call it good journalism. It is pretty – you know what? For once, I can look at an article and be like this is 100 percent true. There's no bullshit in here. So this is what I would like to read, this kind of stuff.

It was a very nice article, but I don't know why anybody would write that. I don't get it. I don't know who would be interested in reading it first off. You know what was nice, though, was that Declan contacted me. And Declan was still contacting me

this morning about going after the website. And I'm like, for what, though? He goes, well, people shouldn't be still contacted me this morning about going after the website. I learned some of your secrets. And I'm like, for what, though? He goes, well, people shouldn't be doing that. They shouldn't try. You wanted to keep this side of your life private, you know, yada, yada, yada.

And I'm like, yeah, but why would I want, like, going after them, I think, would be far more... In what way go after them? Well, talk to me, brothers in the IRA. We'll take care of this. He contacted a lawyer on my behalf. I'm not lying. He's like, I need the retainer.

Quickly send it to me. He contacted a lawyer who is apparently an aunt. Is it Mary Rachel? I don't know. He didn't say the name. He goes, you can send a cease and desist letter. She can draft one for you if you want. She said you can deal with the company.

She's dealt with this company in the past. They're fairly reasonable and might take down the article. Yada, yada, she says. But you can also go after the photos that they used. She'll take the pictures down. He credits Deb. Copyright. So I told him, I was like, look, man, I mean, it's not like they wrote something that was heinous or anything.

I'm not going to – I'm not interested, though, in anybody else doing this. I wish I would really – I mean, if you gleamed that from listening to this and you enjoy listening to this, I would hope that you wouldn't do that. Anybody wouldn't do that in the future, though. I started to write an expose on this whole tilted kilt situation. Right. If you enjoy this, if you get this for free, the least you could do is at least be like, hey, you know what? If he doesn't want this done, I won't do it then. So hopefully in the future people won't do more of this.

Are your girls aware? No. They would be very excited, I think. Pictures of them up here? Pictures on the internet, is that really a big deal? It is. Everybody puts their own pictures on the up though, right? Ad nauseum, you can see yourself on your phone.

Right? Just because now someone else's... The same pictures you saw somewhere else that you saw many times when we took our vacations. It means more if someone else is like, hey, these guys are worth writing about. Then it's not up to you. We would be the anti-Kardashians though. Would you?

Well, not in the way that we don't like them, but like there would be no – there's no dirt. See how quickly he recovered? I don't want anyone writing about me, not like in the Kardashians. But like if we are doing a show like about like their drama, then they'd be like, well, where's the drama? Where's the where you got to ramp it up? Right. Well, I'll tell you what. I read the article and there was a part of me that was like, it's all true and happy for you.

I'm like, good for. Well, yeah, he's a happy guy. He's got a great family and all this other shit. However, as a reader and a person in today's world, I do want to see a little something sketchy or controversial or scandalous. Much

like the Thermal Cup situation that's been going on here. Thermal Cup 2018? Thermal Cup 2018. Get him. Come over here. Get them. Wow. I can't believe we're pulling back the curtain on this one. To me, it's so amusing and so innocent.

If you can't laugh at this. Yeah, but you're exposing a level of insanity going on here that's going to make people laugh. It has implications. The story you're about to tell. I see. I look at it. I guess everybody sees things differently. I see this as being so harmless and so cute, almost.

You don't think it's cute? I think it's awesome. Are you worried about talking about this? I think it's next level paranoia. Yes, possibly. All right, well, let's walk like we're on rice paper. Okay. Get off my paper.

Have you ever walked on rice paper? No. That was one of the challenges Kane would have in Kung Fu. If he could walk from one end of the rice paper to the other without ripping it, he was a master at Kung Fu. Oh, okay. Have you ever taken any martial arts? No, I took gymnastics as a challenge. Oh, yeah? You're a tumbler?

Yes. I can't even see you doing gymnastics. You've got the body of a... Of like a tank. This was 30 years ago. Or the barrel the clown hides in. 30 years ago, you were nimble enough to be on a mat. Could you still do a somersault right now for us?

No, I couldn't. Or a cartwheel? I had to have the person grab you and flip you over. What made you want to be like, I want to become a gymnast? What made you want to be a normal child? Was that normal? My parents enrolled me in the program.

It was a gymnastics place over by where the toy store used to be in Freehold. Okay. The boy is clunky. Go into gymnastics. But isn't like Little League more

your average, like you forgot your son and you're like, you put him in a Little League Pop Warner. Not like a onesie. I'm not remembering wearing the onesie or the unitard or anything like that. How long did you last?

I don't remember. Multiple seasons? Competitions? No, no, definitely not competitions. Were you like the Carrie Strug of your school? The Nadia Komanić? No, it wasn't school sponsored. It was like a private place, a private gym. And it was like, I would say maybe like remedial No, it wasn't school sponsored. It was like a private place, a private gym. And it was like – I would say maybe like remedial gymnastics, like just getting active.

He took a short bus to gymnastics. All right. So – okay. So that was as close as you ever came to being in the martial arts with your gym. Getting into the Olympics. Yes. So what was your story? Get this heat off you.

Yeah. So I came into work on, what was it, Friday. This Friday. Oh. What's the matter? I don't know. There's some sort of buzzing going on. Oh, my God.

Buzzing? Yeah. Yeah, I'm on the airplane. How's that? Okay. You good? Buzz gone? Mm-hmm.

So I came into work on Friday because I switched days with Mike because he was in the car. Was it yesterday? Today's Saturday. Yeah, it was yesterday then. Okay. And I walk in. He's like, he goes, he's like, you know, you're pretty passive-aggressive with your tweets there. Get them.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? And I made a tweet. I was watching an infomercial late at night for one of those insulated cups, and I just tweeted about it. What was the tweet that was in question here? The tweet was, I never – I've never – yeah, here we go. This is how bad I wrote it. He's so worried. He's walking on rice.

No, no. I'm making sure I'm reading it correctly because it's written wrong. I've never understand why you're proud your coffee is warm 24 hours later. Why didn't you drink it by then? Okay, so obviously natty influence. Yeah, definitely, yeah. You're no Bernard Shaw, obviously. He's got the grammar of a live ramp.com.

This was sent at 1230 in the morning. So yeah, it was definitely in natty mode. And so about how long until you passed out and you weren't able to tweet anywhere after this tweet? I'd probably say it was about a half hour. Are you a happy drunk or are you like, who the fuck is so fucking proud of this fucking hot coffee asshole? No, I'm a happy drunk, but I just – I like to talk when I drink. So more so than when I'm sober. Who are you talking to though?

That's what I'm tweeting. Anyone who will listen. I try talking to the cats. They could care less and walked out of the room. So like let me go get on Twitter. They'll listen to me. About your jab at the thermal cup industry. Yes.

Yeah, and the people who are dumb enough to buy these cups to keep their shit hot. No, like I said, it was just – it just happened to be on TV and then I was like, why the heck would you want it? I love that drunk face. He's annoyed, yeah. We'll just see about this. I'm going to take down the whole industry. But I just informed Gidham that when I was in LA this past week, Mike brought it up.

Well, how could he though if you tweeted it Friday though? No, no. I tweeted it friday though no no he i tweeted it on the 20th yeah it would have been last week oh okay yeah it's last saturday night because mike definitely he definitely brought it up when i was in la and he was very defensive about it he's like it's not like i you know i and i assumed at that point it was directed to him or it was just said directly to him i didn't even know if it was a tweet at that point. And he's like, it's not like I said I invented the cup and I don't really know what he's talking about. He's like, you know, it's not like I drink it 24 hours later either.

You know, like it's just – I'm just saying. He never really was clear on what he was talking about and we were supposed to do a show. You were stupid. You were – there was too much going on for you to get to the bottom of were stupid. There's too much going on for you to get to the bottom of his fire. Even if nothing was going on, I probably wouldn't have cared. Had I known it was this though? Had I known it was a whole thing.

So then you get here and he's called and Mike is mad. A week later, pretty much a week later. He's still stewing. Look, his coffee stays hot for 24 hours. His rage stays hot for weeks.

Better than a thermal cup. But are you certain that these passive-aggressive tweets, are you certain that the one he was referencing was this one? Yes, he specifically brought it up. He's like, why did you tweet about the coffee cup? And I'm like, the coffee cup?

No one was supposed to know. And then I told him. I said, I saw the ad on TV and it was just – and I had also seen an ad in my Harbor Freight catalog that I got. And I'm like, why do these people want this thing to be – I'm sorry. I'm confused. Mike has a Yeti cup? I don't know.

He's got a lot of like mugs. He might have a knockoff. Right. I think he's got one of those that looks like a little thermos. He may even have the Yeti cup for all we know. I would think with this level of anger, he's got a Yeti cup. And he may have stock in the company. I was going to say, he has to be a majority shareholder

if he's this pissy. They are sponsors of ISO Comics. No, I'm only going on Gidom's. When I saw him on Friday, he certainly was not angry or mentioned any tweets about a cup. But this was when I walked in the door. You're talking Friday yesterday. Yeah. So he had had a week to

sort of cool off a little. No, yesterday is when he came in front of me about this. But I think maybe he understood my explanation. Maybe that's why he didn't bring it up to you. You diffused the situation. By explaining what actually happened. Did you

explain it in a way that was apologetic and sort of like a bitch? Like you didn't want to get him any angry? No, I kind of laughed and I was like, no. I said, I saw this infomercial and it was just, I think it's just, it's weird and that's why I tweeted about it. And you didn't ask him like, why would you think I was talking about you?

No, not really. You didn't what? Yeah, yeah. I wanted to end it. Why would he want to put the red wire next to the blue wire again? I can't tell you what good reason why because it makes the rest of the day go faster. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. No?

I am here to tell you that it does not make the day go faster. I have been specifically instructed to not put the red wire next to the blue wire. Yes. Bob squats with Colton. There's a lot of gag orders on Get Em. Shockingly, none of them have to do with him choking on large pieces of

food or anything. You're not allowed to give your opinion about anything. You're not allowed to fight with Mike. You're not allowed to fight with Rob Bruce. Not allowed to tell people we don't have change. He has to give change? Yeah, he has to give change. Even if we don't have change, you give change. And it's our responsibility

to fucking scramble and get change on a Sunday. Not the customer's responsibility. Oh, not change for the parking meters. Change for the store. No, no. Change for parking meters. Like when people come in like, oh, can I get like $5 a quarter? But they're customers though.

Oh, okay. So not just anybody who walks in off the street. I am not implementing it to total strangers. But if you don't know. The program may expand. Error on the side of caution. Yes. Waltz.

They may be a customer here someday, not just using you for change. All right. All right. That's good managerial thinking. You would dub this insane, insanity. Well, think about that first moment where Mike read the tweet. For him to be that zero to 60 about it. Like what was going through his head would be what he was doing.

I think you're being conservative by using 60. Like where was he? You know what I mean? What was he doing? Was there anything else on his mind? Yeah, yeah. You guys are not telling – because we just told this whole story off the air. So you guys at home are getting the condensed version.

It was really – What are we leaving out? No, it was just – it was more passion behind the story and stuff like that. It seemed like – Probably the low-level paranoia that exists. Like he must think at all times you're plotting something. Oh, yeah, because – Or anything you say.

Can we bring up the merchandise incident? Merchandise? Merchandise incident. Sorry. I had a little bit of a natty night earlier. What would that be? The podcast merchandise incident. Oh, and you're...

No, I think you're... You're getting... You're getting amped up because you're on mic and you're not thinking about the... He didn't break the rice paper and now he's all excited. You're about ready to... You're about to defecate on the rice paper let alone rip it if you tell that story.

And then Mike will be defecating on you, I think. And you got to sit there and take it. Verbal. You got to let him defecate on you? Yeah. Wow. He's his superior. That's true.

Yeah. In intelligence, would you say, or just like in terms of longevity at the store? Are you smarter than Mike? I think I hear a phone ringing over there. Oh, you think you're smarter. I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth. You think you're smarter than everybody else.

There's no room in that mouth for anything else. Mike should not take this personally. You think you're fucking smarter than every fucking person that walks the earth. I know you do. That is a fact. I've been watching The Honeymooners recently, and there was like a small detail in one of the episodes. An episode I just watched and I could see on his face, because he said it was one thing

and I was like, no, no, no, it was this. And I could see on his face, he's like, I'm not wrong. You're wrong. And I'm like, I literally just watched it less than 24 hours ago. He wasn't having it though. Yeah, this is a man that, you know, it's good to be to think you're smart though. You mean you be, to think you're smart, though. You mean you're better

to think you're smart. It takes a real genius to work under Mike Zapsik. That was not me, though. That's like next to, like, the IQ or the SATs in terms of intelligence. Oh, Brian, you just What are you doing?

All serious, Mike doesn't... I wouldn't label Mike a stupid guy. Oh, no, I don't think he's stupid at all. I just think it's funny that's how Gidom's like, yeah. That's how Gidom has to operate is that he's under Mike. Well, he is. Much like Ming. Would you agree

with that, Gidom? I mean, you must be under his skin, huh? If he's monitoring your tweets and calling you out on them? Yeah, he's got his kids and his wife checking all Gidham's social media shit on Reddit. I mean, yeah, he's not blocking me like Rob Bruce. I think what has happened between Mike and Gidham is Rob Bruce has been invisible for a good month. 60 years. And they

aren't able to bond in their dislike of Rob Bruce coming in and their jabs at Rob Bruce are made to each other, like back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, giggling and giggling amongst themselves about it. So now with this, with this, this vacuum, yeah, with this vacuum, Rob Bruce vacuum,

they're like, well, who else don't we like? Oh, each other. That's right. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Not that Mike Zapsik is my enemy. I love him and his family. They're focusing in – You really love his wife.

Didn't you make a remark about how hot she was and then he got pissed? I made a remark. About how you're like, I'd love to have me a piece of that. No, no, no. I said I wish – Something like that. Don't be making this more difficult for him. I said I wish his wife –

I thought this was a – Wait a minute. Before I – Can I say this though? I thought this was a very nice compliment. And if you had said it about my wife, I would not have gotten mad. I would have been like, oh, that was a sweet little thing. But Mike is a bit – some guys are.

Some guys don't want anybody making a comment about their woman. Mike has been cucked countless times. He doesn't need to have it happen again by Giddle. But I said I wish his wife had a younger twin. Right. Implying that someone might – Like minutes younger? Or like –

Someone – We have an age difference, Mike and I. Right. And someone more my age appropriate and that looked like his wife because I find her attractive. And she's a nice – Personality. Personality as well. I don't believe the words age and appropriate should ever be put next to each other.

But you know what? I get it, though. That Mike as well is certainly within his – like, you know what? Don't ever mention that, yada, yada, yada. Again, though, you broke the rule and mentioned it. But why, I don't know. You're a rebel. Rebel without a clue.

Would you say that you're just not scared of Mike? You're not intimidated by Mike? The only reason you're not unleashing is because of Walt. If he says that, he's lying because I saw Mike go after him one day. Really? And you get him to look like the puppy who – Oh, shit. So you are scared of Mike.

Oh, don't give me that look, Giddle. I saw your face. That's also what I heard. Giddle made some mention of Tell Him Steve Day versus I Sell Comics. And Mike – Sometimes you got to suck it up, Gidom. You said not to bring this up and now it's – Yeah, yeah.

You didn't bring it up. Oh, okay. Mike unleashed on him and Gidom essentially just like – he needed a wee-wee pad. Like he piddled. He piddled on the floor. No. Oh, yeah. He showed his belly.

Okay. How did you not? So you're intimidated by Mike. You know what? You were wrong though. You were totally wrong in what you did. What I said and was even conveyed to Brian, you heard that and you were like, I don't understand why he was so offended.

You convey it to Brian. But Brian was conveyed the same information from the source. For context for the listeners, someone called up and asked if the Stash had told him Steve Dave merchandise. Gidham says, no, we do not. And then loudly, I guess, says, we also don't have I Sell Comics merchandise. The person did not ask for it. Even though they didn't ask for it.

I said we don't sell any podcast merchandise. That includes Tell Them Steve Dave, I Sell Comics. Okay. He's trying to be funny, and he's lying to you. And the way he tells you the story is definitely biased. It is though, because there's no need to that caveat about to bring in. He's trying to be funny and he's lying to you and the way he tells you the story is definitely biased. But that's not even insulting. It is though because there's no need to that little caveat about to bring in – Because he didn't say like we don't sell Kevin shit.

Right. Because they do. They do sell podcast-related stuff. He went out of his way to say like I sell comics isn't worthy of merchandise and even if it was, we wouldn't care. You're giving it way more thought than I was giving it to on the spot. I do on this one, because it was on the heels of saying there was no Tell Them Steve Dave merchandise. But the man didn't ask for any other podcast

merchandise, only Tell Them Steve Dave. There was no need for that information. Because how could you not, though? I'm legit. I don't see how it's an insult, because he because by saying that, he's insulting us as well. He's baiting.

Well, there's a very – there's two separate reasons as to why our stuff isn't sold here and why I sell comic stuff isn't sold here. OK. And you think that's what Gidham was trying to do? I think that's what Gidham was alluding to. Oh, so Brian doesn't agree with you. What's up? You don't agree that he was that he's this poor, innocent – He absolutely is not.

Oh. No, he absolutely is not. He's definitely like a shit stirrer in this instance. Stirs a little bit of shit. No, because I did not go into reasons why we don't sell the merchandise. I just said we don't have any podcast merchandise for any of the podcasts that are – Not the way I heard the story. It was more like –

Tom's changing it, right? Yeah, yeah. podcast merchandise for any of the podcasts that are recorded. Not the way I heard the story. It was more like, no, we don't sell Tom, Steve, Dave merchandise or I sell comics merchandise. It was very lethal. So Mike goes after you and you tuck tail. I was sitting over at my computer and he keeps on coming

over and knocking the Snow Miser and Heat Miser figures that are on the ledge over and yelling at me. Walt's like, this is my life. Thank God the guy wasn't here to write the article that day. He's like, no, not outside of his family. Oh, boy. You don't want to know.

Did I just sit there? Yes, I just sit there. But it's not like I went and cowered in a corner. You were frozen. How could you cower? No, it's not like I was frozen either. It's just like I'm going to let him blow out. It's okay to be intimidated by Mike.

That's not embarrassing. He's not like a... He's not small. He's got a lot of anger to back up. Is he going to bring it physically? Oh yeah, when he snaps, it's all right. It's okay for you to be scared by Mike, is what I'm saying. I don't think anybody's got to be like, come down on you for that. I mean, me, Q, and Walt aren't,

but you should be. If he was legitimately coming after me, then yes, I would say I would be – You do a cartwheel and a tumble so I can get away? I would be – I believe that he could hurt me. Okay. Let's say that. But in this instance, I did not – That's not what I wanted him to say. In this instance, he just hurt me.

What's going on right here, in case you don't realize, is they are shit-stern. Obviously, you don't – You see this giant ladle in my hand? What do you think the chef's had all day? In that instance, I did not believe he was going to physically attack me. Has there ever been an instance where you thought he would? You thought like he might come after you? Because I know Rob Bruce has nearly come to blows with a couple

people. I think when... Embarrassingly with Dante. When... There was a time years ago when Rob... No, no, no. It was at a poker game afterwards. You never saw two guys who really didn't

want to get into a fight pretend that they wanted to get into a fight. Someone break this up. Someone hold me back. There was a time years ago when Rob Bruce came in and stirred up some shit with Mike back and Mike was very – No, this was right after we recorded Get Him, Rob Bruce. OK. You think you remember the incident?

The fabled podcast that no one has ever heard. Vaulted. A Song of the South It was that That inflammatory It was remastered by Creaky Studios Nice and polished Is it just too boring to listen to?

It's vaulted for none of the reasons It's not for racism or just anything other than just pure out and out. You don't want to bore people? Boredom.

We should sell one copy of it. Like the Mootang? Yeah. $1,000 for the only physical copy. Who owns it, though? That's the thing. You can't sell something that Rob... I'm not going to split money with him.

Let's put this to bed, though, so Mike understands. I only told the... I had John to tell the tweet about the... What was it called? The Yeti thermal cup. Because I find that that cute almost.

Mike should not be mad about that. But going forward though, you consider Mike your friend? Yes. If Mike is my friend too, do you ever see me take shots at him? I wasn't taking a shot at him. Is it one o'clock in the morning on a Sunday night?

Because then yes. When you watch Comic Book Men. But have I ever taken – while you've been working here, how long have you been working here? A little over a year. Do I playfully – like the things I say to Brian or Q or you or to Jeff, do I interact with Mike the same way I interact with those guys? Just shorten the list and say any rational human being. No, I don't. And I don't because he doesn't have that kind of personality.

And as he's my friend, I understand his comfort zone. And I don't want to make him uncomfortable. He understands that he's the rice paper of human beings. So, you know, it's not, why would I do that? If he's my friend, why would I want to make him feel uncomfortable? I like to him... Because he's your friend. That's how you know someone's your friend.

What the fuck? Everybody has different personalities, though. This is what I try to instill in him. This is what I have been trying to teach him. You have to navigate amongst people you think or you consider your friends differently though. And if you can't,

it really shows a level of what's it called when you don't have any feelings? Oh, like sociopathy? Yeah. You're so unwilling to, you know it bothers him and yet you still will say things or take little jabs of – that you know are not working. So what you're saying is before I send any tweet or say anything, I should think how someone whose mind I'm not in might perceive it. How is Mike going to take it?

Well, that tweet I find – In his defense, he is autistic. And the definition of that is a guy who doesn't understand those social cues. So how could you – that's like saying – He's not full-blown. Like a legless man. Why doesn't he walk? Or a blind person to lip read.

Yeah, but a legally blind man can be a wide receiver in the NFL. A legally blind man can drive. What? Yeah, but – A blind guy was a wide receiver in the NFL. A legally blind man can drive. What? Yeah, but... A blind guy was a wide receiver? A blind man. Wesley Walker was legally blind. What I'm saying is the guy has a condition

that makes him incapable of recognizing... No, incapable is way too strong a word. Unwilling. Yeah. No, that's you. He doesn't have full-blown. No. But how do you know that?

Where are you on the spectrum, Gidham? He's not very far on the spectrum. What is – people say the spectrum all the time. It's from what to what? Is it like zero to ten? Is it like a rainbow sort of thing? I think the spectrum encompasses a lot of different disorders. You're about to make shit up right now.

Yeah. As soon as he's like, I think the spectrum encompasses a lot of different disorders. I'm about to make shit up right now. Yeah. As soon as he's like, I think. Well, because Asperger's was added to the autism spectrum disorder, which was redefined in the DSM-5, I believe, which just came out. Like throwing all these things at you. Was it the DSM-5? Was it the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual? Yes, between four and five because I think they reissue them every 20 years. They're put out.

And there's lots of debates before the – what's going to be included in the next one, what diseases are going to be eliminated or conditions and what's going to be folded into another condition. You know like Ming is a guy that you can jab and have him jab back at you. But you've got to know – He jabs back?

Ask Mike. You've got to know. He jabs back. Ask Mike. You've got to know your friends and know that, and is it worth it? That's always what I, is it worth it if he's not, if you make him unhappy? Because I don't think it is. But you make it seem like I'm trying to make him unhappy and. And you're trying to make yourself seem more innocent than you really are. It's kind of disappointing. Just own it. You're trying to escape yourself seem more innocent than you really are. It's got a disability. Just own it.

You're trying to escape accountability. Do not own it. But if I – You have a disability. The second you own it, you're accountable. So you're saying that then no matter what he does, he can never be held accountable? I'm saying it's on Mike to not get upset. Not on him to not upset Mike.

To hold him accountable, but basically Mike is bullying him. Yeah. I would say through a majority of my actions, Steve... Could you... I would say through a majority of my actions, I have shown that

I support Mike. I'm friends with Mike. I am positive towards Mike. To the best of your ability. And yeah, it's – Is it the caveat? Under the circumstances. Are you going to stay to the best of your abilities?

Yeah. Get him. You latch on to that. You hold on to it. Isn't that what anyone does to the best of their abilities? No, not necessarily. Some people are – what I'm saying is I don't show that for the 5 percent of things that get on his nerves and make him think that I'm taking a jab at him and quite possibly I am in the course of fun or that he says something. But he's not having fun.

Regarding the subject of fun. Or that he says something and I respond back to him. It's a little tete-a-tete. For that 5 percent, I think the 95 percent of being positive towards him and being supportive of him and everything else like that. How are you supportive of him? I retweet things that he tweets. I said you had a hot wife. Do you retweet things?

That's how you show support? It's part of it. It's the best of your ability. It's part of it. I thank him when he helps me at times, when he gives advice. So something that you would say to a stranger that's supportive, Mike? If somebody helps you, like hold the door open and you say thank you. No, no, no.

Like if I have a question and Mike answers it, I thank him. And who else have you shown this support to? I say thank you to – I try to mentally – Didn't you get a bird out of his fucking fireplace? That seems pretty thankful. What did I do when you did that? You thanked me. What else did I do when you did that? You thanked me. What else did I do?

You brought me for some pizza. Who paid for that pizza? You did. I thought it was being seen in public with the guy that was the – When you were looking for a car, who asked Jeff to come out and stay off? And we drove up there to get a car. We bolted, yes. Okay.

And I thanked you. Who's more supportive? It's not who's more supportive. No, it I thank you are supportive. It's, it's, it's, it's not who's more supportive. What has done the most. You have to weigh a little more heavily by supporting Mike. Cause it's a harder thing to do. And you just take Walt for granted.

Cause it's not, I don't think I take Walt for granted. I think, I thank Walt. I thank Jeff. I think a bunch of pizza like a year and a half ago. And you haven't mentioned it in a while. I'm sure. I thank you for the pizza.

When we, when we went to go get it. Did I thank you for getting the burrito? Yes. Everybody's so gracious and thankful. I'm not sure why we're having this conversation. I'm saying is that I, through a majority of my actions, I have not made myself out to be Mike's enemy. So it baffles me as to why he thinks –

I feel you have an American Disabilities lawsuit on your hands here. Gets the sash? Do you consider yourself disabled? Sorry, Brian. Better question. In all honesty, in some sense, do you have any level where you think you might be have...

Oh, yes, because that's how I got out of jury duty the one time. I got to get out of jury duty again this time. I had a doctor's note. OK, but for – When it benefits you, you have a disability. Get him Steve Dave's secret stash. You could own this place, buddy. What did they say when you give him a note?

What did the note say? I think it said like in the interest of justice, he can not – like in the matter of law, he is not – He's just a stank retarded. He got a note from a doctor. I still have that stamp. Saying that he's so. Busted off. This genius, this self-proclaimed genius.

It's been a while. Is not able to sit on a jury and make a decision in the best interest. It should be a jury of one if he's so goddamn smart. Forget the other 11 people. All right, get him. I'd get a lawyer if I were you. For what? Sue Mike.

Feels like Mike's a bullock of a lawyer. You'd have to sue me too. Yeah. Class action. The man who's given you a job. He's given you an artistic outlet. He's given you... Did you say autistic outlet?

He allowed you to demonstrate your avian escapist skills. And my Photoshop skills. Yeah, I mean, I – no lawyer skills. And you're going to sue Walt over that. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have something drawn up this week to – you're going to have to sign to continue working. Arbitration clause. Johnson's the arbiter. Actually, I came up with something for Gidem.

Can I talk about next week's thing a little bit? Sure. Preview. I came up with something for Gidem that I think is going to propel him to next level. This is a vehicle for him that I've come up with that I think if you

have an agent, right? I have an agent. If we could pitch this premise based off this podcast next week, I think this could be something for him. Next week we're going to play a game. You know it's a game, really. It's sort of like...

It's a competition. Impressor. Professor Impressor. It's kind of like that, but where Impressor Professor was kind of very too highbrow in my opinion. It went over people's heads. That's why I don't think it connected with people.

It's too much like schoolwork. Next week we have one where we're going to bring conspiracy theories, the ones that we're most passionate about. Okay. The ones that we're most passionate about. Okay. And present them to Gidham, who is – you've dubbed yourself a self-proclaimed conspiracy debunker, right? You have gone online and schooled people. Yes, I'm actually banned on the conspiracy subreddit. He has gone on and he has totally schooled and made people look like fools.

So they banned me. This is coming from you that you made them look like fools. Oh, definitely. The moderators couldn't handle the whipping that I gave them. You whipped even the moderators. Oh, yeah. You spanked them, huh? So my idea was that we would – me, you, and Bri would present our most passionate conspiracy theories, ones where we believe in are the most likely to be true.

Right. And get them much like – now here's what I'm talking about. You get your agent and you get maybe possibly a TV show involved, but get them as the host. Much like Simon Cowell, he – Spanx us. He makes you look like a complete and utter tinfoil hat. A bumbling...

And that's the name of the... The working title is the tinfoil foil. With a Z. We could go with a Z. Do you get it? Do you understand what that means? Yeah, sure. Tinfoil foil. Of course I get it.

Who understands that a foil has two different meanings? Yeah, I know Tinfoil foil. Of course I get it. You understand that a foil has two different meanings. You get the cleverness of that. Yeah, I know. I got it. Foils. The tinfoil. I got it. You thought he meant the foil like that fucking.

Fencing. That fencing. That's what you thought. I didn't even know what he thought. I could tell by the look on your face. I've seen fencing on the Olympics. Please explain. I've seen Feds in all the Olympics.

Please explain. And so Gidham then scores the theories to see which one is the most – which theory is the most – Are you trying to foil our sound by putting your mic by your fucking eyebrow? So Gidham then judges and scores the theories based upon four categories. Credibility of theory, passion of the presentation, plausibility index, and the cuckoo curve, which is like he takes into account... Please tell me that's spelled with three Ks. Please. The cuckoo curve means like

if your conspiracy is so out there, he gives you extra points because you brought something that's so outlandish that he will give extra points for that. It could help you win, almost. And he has certain questions that he will be asking the same questions to all of us

that will base a lot of his scoring. So that's next time we meet. Wait, so what if... Do we have to tell him what conspiracy he did? So he's on the spot? I think he should be able to do just as much homework as you guys. Yeah, okay, alright. Brian's already given him his should be able to do just as much homework as you guys. Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right.

That makes sense. Brian's already given him his, which we could say it now to people who may want, listeners who want to do some homework, brush up a little bit on it. That the CIA was complicit in flooding inner cities with crack in the late 80s to fund the Iran war. Okay. I mean the Sandinistas and Contras. Okay.

That's a going cue. Would you have a couple of, you haven't decided yet? Yeah. I'll text it to you by the end of tomorrow. Okay. And I am going to go with a dinosaur conspiracy. Oh,

so not the Yeti cup tweet conspiracy, but that's on the next episode of Tom's deep Dave. And I believe that this, like where get them was before he was, um we played Impressor Professor, or Professor Impressor, he was a participant, which is not his strength. He's better at judging everyone. He's better at coming down. And I believe Frank Five, to his credit, though, I believe he was too enamored with you guys still to be that simon cowell that we need to make the episode um interesting for a viewer or a listener like he was too much he was afraid too much to judge you too harshly or to knock you down or critique you too well also he

was judging facts whereas ginnam is going to be judging something completely subjective and not provable yeah and this is but but like I said, I believe like, this is a potential for a real show, I think. Like, if this is done well. Yeah. And he could be like,

he could be the guy that is the heart. Of course. Why wouldn't they want him as the face of the fucking show? I'm the next Chris Hardwick. Right. Well, does it all depend

on good looks? I mean, there's an art to knowledge. some of it does, though. Well, if he drops that weight, I mean, he's fucking – If you drop the weight, you get some pearly white, you could be a handsome guy. Well, you got people like Cedric the Entertainer hosting shows. I wouldn't consider him –

Okay, why shouldn't you put yourself up against fucking Cedric, like the quote-unquote entertainer? I remember when we first revealed this picture, there were a bunch of 13 percenters. Who's the actor? Matt Dillon. You? Yeah. Well, maybe Melinda Dillon right now. Saggy tits and ring.

So you're weighing in next week, right? Yes. And the weigh-in next week. The weigh-in and the tinfoil foil. Tinfoil foil. We're going to be doing the weigh-in from from truck stop on 13A off the turnpike. And that's a work title. And if there are listeners who can come up with something better between now and then.

Well, you were so proud of it. You know what? I don't know if that's TV worthy, though. Oh, I see what you're saying. Too much explaining of the word foil. I was so proud of it until no one reacted to it, though. I should have gotten more like a, yeah. And nobody said anything.

Well, I didn't understand what you meant. I'm used to people saying, yeah! Every time I say, get him in my, yeah! Gonna go to lunch, yeah! 10.4, yeah! There's no line. If we have to explain it, it's not a good title, then. I didn't think you had to explain it.

I got it. I don't know. I saw the look on your eyes. Yeah. I saw the look on your eyes. Yeah. I saw the glaze. I saw the glaze. Patella. Quickly Google foil.

They gave me a drink. I'm thirsty. Shake, shake. Yeah. Yeah. Shake, shake. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, now I've told Gidham, I've given him, I've taken the dog collar off of him for the next episode. He's allowed to come at me as if. With no repercussions. No repercussions. Whoa. He signed the paper. On the tinfoil foil. Yeah. I cannot hold it. Title pending. He signed the paper. On the tinfoil foil. Yeah. I cannot hold it.

Title pending. Oh, all right. We already talked. Right. I forgot from earlier that you explained it. I told him that I will not hold any grudges and that no matter what happens on that episode, there will be no repercussions. Because I want to send this tape to Simi.

I don't know if the truth is they're not really into conspiracy. You got to commit to some – I think this is better facial hair. That looks like you're a West Virginian child molester. What, the goatee and mustache? It looks a little weird, yeah. I just remember girls being like, oh, he's going to be – Salivating. Oh, and the winner of the tinfoil foil? Yeah.

What? Patella, do you still have Google up? There will be. You will be getting... It's one job as my assistant to get me iced tea and to fucking keep reminding me what tinfoil foil means. And get me toilet paper.

I've been hearing good things about Yeti cups, Patel. I could keep my coffee hot for 24 hours. Sounds like something I want to do. There will be, much like in Tom's Deep, when we played Quinn to win it, and there was a cap, remember the crown? Yeah. For the winner, there will be

a tinfoil crown for the winner. Oh, all right. There's something to buy for. There's something to play for. I always feel that when there's something to play for. A little skin in the game. That people will bring their A games. I'm looking forward to it.

Okay. Overkill, right? So one more thing. I did go to a premiere, a Hollywood movie premiere. Oh, yes. Which two – Looking fit and fine on that red carpet. Did I?

Did I look like I belonged there? I saw a picture of me smiling. I was like, oh, it looks weird. It looks like when a dog smiles or something. Like it's not natural. You're looking good. But first we did a show. We did a – Mike, Ming and I did a show at the Scum and Villainy Katina.

Oh, they're nasty as you want to be, right? It was as nasty as we wanted to be. What's that? Did it get nasty? I don't – well, I walked in and Mike and Ming were in the bathroom and there was an argument going on as to who the straight man was going to be. And they would not – neither one of them – they're like, I don't want to be straight. So I don't know what that meant. But then when we finally hit the stage, the way it's set up is kind of weird.

There were like maybe 80, 90 people there and it's a bar. So people are sort of sitting around the perimeter and there's chairs set up and then you stand behind the bar as if you're a bartender and talking to the mic. There's a handheld mic. And it looks like the cantina? Kind of. Yeah, I guess so. A little bit. Not at all.

People cosplay and shit, I guess. And I thought this show was pretty decent. And during the show, first of all, nasty as you want to be. I don't think it should be titled that because I made some jokes and I'm like, seriously? Like this is too much? Yeah, do you know it was too much the crowd turned on you? No, they didn't turn on me.

But trying to get one, let alone five child molestation jokes across, people seem to lose patience. Is that true? No, it was – well, I had to address it at one point. Like the second joke, I was like, is this too much for people? Like I thought it was as nasty as we want to be. Like is that not nasty? Well, you're in a Star Wars cantina. Yeah.

I guess. Mike and Ming weren't really that nasty. They didn't say anything. Well, they were as nasty as they wanted to be, which is not very nasty. So I said some nasty stuff and I did sort of an extended bit on Sage getting her period. And so

at the end, I thought it went over pretty well, to be honest. Extended bit. Let's just add a little more to this. It's not something I was planning on. It's just like shit that came up because I was supposed to come down on Friday before we left to go over stuff.

Is this show going to be released? Nasty as they want to be? I think so. Don't spoil that by telling that story here about what... You're not going to recount the story, are you? What story? The Sage story? The extended.

No, no, no. No, no, no. All right, I was going to say, please don't. Oh, it couldn't be as brilliant the second time around. No way. But,

so, I didn't plan it. We didn't really plan anything. I came down Friday, or I was supposed to come down Friday at 4.30, and then at 4.40, I was like,

oh shit, I was supposed to go play stuff out. Did you? Yeah. I forgot you to go did you yeah I forgot I had to be there I forgot I had to be there so I didn't go and I said I'll see you at the show and we'll just do the show yeah wing it yeah come on this far in life why now I'm gonna

start preparing so Ming brought some clips audio clips that I listened to and I'm like how the fuck did we get a TV show? They were so lame and so bad. I don't know if he picked out ones that he just wanted to hear but they were awkward. Yeah, just audio. No visual, just audio.

From the CBM show? I guess they didn't have a video. Yeah, it was from the sizzle reel of the comic book man. So he played them. It didn't really – it was tough. It was a little cringy to be honest with you. But anyway, so the sage period thing and the show ends. Is that the show closer?

No, the show closer, I can't really say because I swore everyone the secrecy in that place. I'll tell you later on. I said if I tell you this, I said nobody here can mention it for a certain amount of time. For a certain amount of time. Right. Okay. So I was saying hello to people afterwards and some lady comes up to me and she's Ming's friend, which I'm sorry. If you introduce yourself as Ming's friend, I do not take you seriously because you're not Ming's friend.

You're someone that Ming met. You're not his fucking friend. And she starts taking me to task on the period shit. And she's like, I don't think it's – and she's serious. She's like, I don't think it's right that you would shame her for that. And I said, what are you talking about? And I said, what are you talking about? And she starts blathering on and on like any fucking asshole that you would see on Twitter about this and about like don't I have any compassion.

And why don't you put yourself in her shoes? And I said, so you want me to put myself in the shoes of an 11-year-old girl with special needs? I said, what the fuck is wrong with you? I said, I can't do it. I said, why don't you put yourself in my shoes? I was like, oh, that's because you can't. I said, you have do it. I said why don't you put yourself in my shoes? I was like oh that's because you can't. I said you have no idea. I said do you even know who I am?

And she didn't because she's Ming's friend. She's Ming's friend. She has to know who you are then. I don't know. I mean I don't think she's listened to like this show or watched Comic Book Man. Like I think she's probably like oh it's these two guys I do a show with or whatever. Yeah, I'm sure. I can't imagine anybody would have thought that was going to be the story. Topic du jour.

To your credit, though, that shit is as nasty as – that meets the criteria. Why would she go to a show? You fulfilled it. She goes to a show called Nasty As You Want To Be. And who the fuck are you to come up and lecture you? Get the fuck out of my face. It's as nasty as I want to be. Not as nasty as you want me to be. Pinging means nothing.

Go away, you fucking loudmouth. Oh, it's so annoying. Everybody's got something to say. At a certain point, I hammered her into submission with logic, which is all you really need to do. And I said these words. I said, I'm going to give you a chance to do and I said these words I said I'm going to give you a chance to bow out gracefully

would you like to take it and she said yes you know why because she's not online we're fucking she says it and a million fucking like minded sheep back her up yeah they're like yeah yeah like knowing maybe 5% of the story because it's like look bitch if you had any

idea of what I really do with that kid, like – and I'm allowed. I'm allowed to be uncomfortable by the prospect of my 11-year-old kid getting a period when I have no fucking experience with it. Yeah. And I don't really know what to do or how to handle it or what to say or any of that shit. And I can't put myself in that girl's shoes or in that position. So fuck you. Shut up, asshole. Yeah.

Shut the fuck up. Like what you're saying has no merit to it. It's not thought out. It's just fucking blather. Be quiet. Nobody cares what you think, especially me, the one person who you hope cares. You take me in a task for being friends with this person? No, because I know it's not his friend.

It's just some dope that he was like, hey, you should come down and fucking watch the show and fucking hear about periods and fucking Mike's Yeti Cup. Mike makes credit, though. This is why they probably were like, you should come down around 4.30 so we can talk about what you're going to talk about.

But I didn't know until the moment. Because, my God, can you imagine those guys being on stage and having to, like, you tell the story? Like, what is their, like, what is their role to play in this? No, no, no, no. I don't agree with that. Okay. They named the show Nasty as You Want to Be. They invited Brian Johnson.

By name-dubbing it, Nasty as You Want to Be, he invited. Right. The very, I mean, he should have known it was going to be about a pre-pubescent. It's like arresting Willie Nelson for doing it. It makes no sense. It makes nothing. Like, let these people be themselves. They should have been prepared beforehand.

Yes. Yes. With the nuclear option. But Mike, though. He's just a victim, though. He had no, he didn't name it. I'm a victim of Mike's. He didn't bring any material.

I got victimized up there. At least Ming brought the clips. Want to draw my lawsuit? Speak it up. Time to pay the piper for you, my friend. It's coming. We've announced the third Impractical Jokers cruise, and you owe me a half hour, my friend. I was wondering if I could pay it back a minute at a time over the next 30 cruises.

No, fuck that. Remember the thing was people were going to come up with a way. It was something you had to do on the boat for a half hour. Right. We were going to run like a fucking, not a contest, but a poll of sorts to see how you're going to pay back that half hour. So now it's fucking half. The only reason I agreed to do the cruise was because because of this fucking moment to get that half hour punishment yeah so everybody start sharpening your knives

we got a year to come up with something you're the ship's anchor for 30 minutes i can't wait that uh i said yeah i saw that announcement i was like it was the first thing i thought of i was like oh shit i gotta do when they gave us the offer i was like yes yes yes uh yeah so that's how the show went and then we we went to the premiere and uh ming went in a delorean and then we went in the pizza planet truck oh uh but there wasn't yeah but it was it's just the front of the truck so there wasn't enough room and they were going to come back and get me and And I was like, I'll just sit in the back. So I sat in the bed like in the cabin. So we got to the red carpet. I just crawled out.

Wait, Ming pulled up in a DeLorean? Yeah. That's cool. He's driving a DeLorean? No, no. Somebody had to drive him. I was going to say, he propped out the insurance on that. It would be crazy if somebody rented it to him and let him drive it.

Was it Back to the Future DeLorean or De. Was it Back to the Future DeLorean? Back to the Future DeLorean. Oh, really? It was done like that? And then we saw the movie. But before the movie, Brian, the CEO of Funko, he's giving his little speech, the intro. And he's like, I want to thank some people for coming out. They came from far away. And I was like, oh, I really, I did not want to be thanked.

I didn't want any attention on me. And so he says Elvira, because Elvira was there. And Robert, Freddie was there, Robert England. And

Tony Hawk was there. Skateboarder. And clothing line at Colt. Robert England and Tony Hawk was there. Skateboarder. Skateboarder. So I'm like – And clothing line from – at Colt. Oh, he has his own clothing line? Yeah. I'm wearing some Tony Hawk right now. Are you really?

Underneath. Oh, the shirt. Not the – I know it's MeUndies. No, it's MeUndies all the way. Fuck, yeah. I thought we weren't doing ads. It's not an ad. That's the great thing.

We're just saying it because we love them. I got you. So after he names three titans of their respective industries, surely there's no way he's going to – Forget the comic book men. No. I'm like, he's not going to mention us. There's no way because he's talking about these big people. And then he's like, and the three sexiest guys from the east coast and he mentions

us wow too tepid applause till like i mean yeah i mean essentially i mean although these are people who if you're into funko you should probably know that but they fucking the guys obviously mentioning you for a reason out of pure politeness you would think that they would. Right. Yeah. They weren't polite. They didn't care. It is LA. But I couldn't not address it. That's my boy. I yelled out to – I literally yelled out to Brian. I said, Brian. I said, it's supposed to be a continuing escalation, not a sharp drop off.

So that was the douche chill moment of the night. Otherwise, the movie was pretty good. The documentary was pretty good. A little long. They should 100 percent cut us out. We don't lend anything to it, I don't think. Like there are people in this documentary like one lady has 8,000 pops. Like it's the hoarders of pop shit.

Yeah. And super fans like this boxing guy and a wrestling guy and a couple other people. But the, the fanatics as they call them, it's like, whoa, this is crazy. Is this movie going theatrical release or is this going?

Uh, probably like Netflix. I would think, I don't, I don't know for sure, but it was done well. Yeah. It's,

it's a good documentary. Maybe we can probably get a copy for the store. Hope so. Will you pay to run it on, um, on the, uh, can you Will you pay to run it on the... Can you buy it and then do it publicly or no? No, we wouldn't do it publicly.

So, some overkill shit. Want to talk spooky? How long have we been going? Oh, I don't know. Hold on. Oh yeah, now we're in two minutes. Shit. No, I don't want to start on. I feel like we've... Oh, yeah. Now we're in two minutes. Shit. No, I don't want to start the episode now.

All right, fine. All on a yeti. What, you want to end it right now? I don't want to end it. I just don't want to... You don't want to go into a... Start an episode. I'm hungry. Yeah, me too. Go over.

Should have eaten those chips. I had some chips. So what else then? That's really all I had was... I went to Rick and Morty Studios. I'm hearing 2019. Yeah. What are they working on there? Nothing right now.

Still contract shit. Yeah. I mean the only thing they're working on is Bitcoin farming, which I'm not – Are they really? There's a guy there that like I guess he's friends with Justin and he has all these CPU set up and he explained because I

was like what exactly are you doing and he sort of explained it and I'm like it's just a whole bunch of computer power that's taking little little

little pieces or something and then you sell I don't know yeah but he's like I'm planning on making two million and getting out within two years.

Oh, boy. And he put all this shit on his credit card to buy the CPUs and stuff. But he seemed confident. And he seems like one of those internet or like computer guys that's just crazy enough that you're like, he probably knows what he's doing. Yeah, I don't know, man. From what I've been hearing lately, the return on investment is really getting higher and higher. I mean, he said, he's like, one of these things costs $1,500 and it will make $15 a day doing whatever the fuck it's doing. So …

It takes you 100 – what? 100 days then? So it will take 100 days. Just to recoup the initial investment. To break even, right? It's saying – they're saying that like that's going to ruin the environment. It's all the video cards and shit. It's taking – yeah. So you got the heat that they're generating. It's all the video cards and shit.

Yeah, so you got the heat that they're generating. Then you have the electrical power that it's generating plus – Are you saying ruin the environment? Like the real environment, not the Bitcoin environment. Because the amount of energy that is being expended now to mine Bitcoin is like off the charts. It's fucking crazy that it's all this energy being burned constantly um that's they say it's gonna some people are concerned it's gonna ruin the pc gaming industry it is because it's sucking out all the video cards from everybody's buying video cards well then people can use a high-end he said people can use a high-end gaming pc to do it that's

that's what i have my somebody i know is like, why don't you use it to mine? To make $8 a day. I was like, oh my god, man. Yeah, they just... You need access to a lot of cheap or free electricity because evidently it takes a ton of electricity. But that's the problem. All this electricity, more

than Sweden uses in a year, is being used in a fucking day to mine all this Bitcoin. I've heard of colleges shutting people down in their dorm rooms because they can monitor the internet traffic and realize that they're mining and they're like using too much power. It's not part of the student agreement or the dorm agreement and they have them shut it down because it's just so much power and energy wasted. It happened to good old-fashioned panty raids, man. Now people are just mining Bitcoins and shit. Hey, man. I don't know about this Bitcoin. I don't know. That's not a real Bitcoinfashioned panty raids, man. Now people are just mining bitcoins and shit. Hey, man.

I don't know about this bitcoin. I don't know. That's not a real bitcoin, right? No, no. Yeah. It doesn't exist, right, in real life? Just walking around with a fucking $11,000 coin. With a fucking Krugerrand and shit.

Yeah. Are you familiar with bitcoin, Walt? I have no idea what you're talking about. Cryptocurrency, which I didn't know there were so many. Evidently, there's like thousands of – Garla coin, doge coin. I know that whatever Bitcoin was split into two different coins. Yeah.

Because there was some disagreement. The only time I ever cared about Bitcoin was right before I discovered it and then discovered Silk Road, which then immediately closed down because I could have bought all my drugs with Bitcoin over Silk Road for cheaper and it would have been fucking glorious. If you had bought Bitcoin back then, you'd be in a good business. Because I would have spent it all on drugs and I would be like, oh my god, I'd be a fucking millionaire if I wasn't a fucking idiot. Did you hear about 50 Cent? Yeah, he found like $7 million about 50 Cent? Yeah, he found like 7 million dollars that he forgot. Yeah, he found like a couple bitcoins or something. No, they gave him 600

bitcoins because he signed up to release one of his albums and he could pay with bitcoins and he didn't realize it's just been sitting there. He just forgot he had it. Well, I'm sure at the time it was like covering at like $3, so who the heck cared that you got 600 of them? This is one of the guys on my crew for years has been buying it up like crazy when it was like $30 a coin.

And now it's like – It hit a high of like $19 or something. I don't even know why he's still working on my show. I mean I know this guy bought hundreds of dollars of it when it was $30 a coin or whatever it was. And you didn't buy any, huh, get him? No. Dumbass. You bought those fucking fake coins instead. He told me to buy. I'm a fucking dumbass. That guy did? He was like, buy it. He you didn't buy any, I get them? No. Dumbass, you bought those fucking fake coins instead.

He told me to buy. I'm a fucking dumbass. That guy did? He was like, buy it. He's like, trust me, buy it. And I was like, whatever, dude. There's a reason I'm on the screen and you're getting me my latte, motherfucker. I just think it's so weird to think.

Let's try to imagine the dollar splitting into two different currencies. Well, it's just some dude made it up. That's when I'm just like, well, what? Like it's literally a dude. Some guy was like, this is worth money. And everyone's like, all right. Yeah. And that's all it takes.

And now everybody's going nuts for it. I don't understand how it fluctuates though like a stock. Because essentially it operates like a stock, right? It's just what people are willing to pay for. Supply and demand, yeah. That's it. If they lose faith in it, then they're not going to – they lose faith in the coin. Well, that's not what they're saying.

They're saying if China blocks it – A lot of Chinese people use Bitcoin? Yeah, like that's where this – I don't know. You've seen more verse than this than me. But in my limited research, they're saying that much of the value comes from China. Well, yeah, like they own so much of the American currency in the market. I would guess that they would have this much in the market. OK, so you don't know more than me.

So now here's what's happening. So China is – it was so popular in China that all these people who give it value are the Chinese. It was so popular in China that all these people who give it value are the Chinese. But if China block it and those people, they can't buy it and there's no demand, it will plummet back down to nothing. And all these people who are investing time and money and electricity and energy and GPUs are going to kind of be assholes about it. Look, Warren Buffett came out and said it's a fad. It will pass. I mean what fucking – The fucking Oracle of Omaha?

You got to listen to him. But who knows? I'm wrong 20 times a day, so maybe I'm wrong. You know what the fuck foil meant, so I wouldn't listen to you. I got fucking American money. You got fucking dollars in your pocket, not bitcoins in the clouds. It's all fiat currency. You got to invest in gold.

Precious metal. That I agree with. Gold? How much is gold worth right now? Buy a fucking bar of gold? 35,000. Gold is great. Not an ounce.

Not 35,000 an ounce. What about you, fucking King Mike? Do you own any gold? What's the price of an ounce of gold? Per ounce, 1,360 bucks. Yeah, gold's the way to go. Here's what I found on the web for what's the price of that. But even gold is funny because even gold is just a thing that they were like, now this is valuable.

Right. I think it's more held its value steadily through the – I can't believe anybody's still listening to this fucking episode. I know. Who gives a fuck about this shit? All right. I want to hear more about you fighting with Mike. Yeah.

Have you invested heavily in Bitcoin, Walt, or you would not touch it? I wouldn't even go near it. Being like, what does this mean? Wallowing in ignorance. So nothing else, Walt? Nothing else? No. Did you hear about this meteor, though, I think?

A meteor? No. I have not been looking on the internet at all lately or addressing my phone or any of that shit. There was a meteor, and I think it's – do you remember Roswell? Yes. What? That's so funny. I remember Roswell. What do you think of this man?

He ain't no one to foil, man. He was one of the most well-read, intelligent guys I know, and every two seconds you're like, here's something elementary. Are you aware of it? Well, look what he has to deal with every day. You know what the sky is, right? If you look up at the sky, you're going to see shit like stars. What?

See like what? Okay, yeah, I've heard of it. I'm always looking at the ground hoping to find bitcoins. My yard is mining for bitcoins. So you, are you familiar with, I don't mean like you remember, but are you familiar with

that they... I've been to Roswell. I think we went together. Oh, you were on that trip. You thought he forgot, didn't you? Yeah, the Walmart had a big alien outside. Yeah, that was that hotel with that awesome sign up. Do you remember, though, the whole conspiracy theory around it, that it was the weather balloon, the pictures that were taken, and then the theory is that it was the cover-up, right?

Yes. And in Roswell, it's like – I always thought like, oh, wow, here's the site and you could just go see it. But it's like a two-mile hike and then there's nothing there. It's literally the same desert you see. I said literally. It's the same desert you see. It's the same desert you see everywhere. Somebody could plop you down in Nevada or California

or any number of places with a desert and you'd be like, I guess. Roswell. Why not? I know this is going to sound like my overkill, but it really wasn't my overkill. My overkill was going to be that Ireland is put on blast, the Vatican, for not training enough.

That's right. You should have never touched me there. That was going to be my overkill. Wait, why did they put him on blast? Ireland's fathers and priests in – well, fathers who are priests put Vatican on blast for not training enough priests in the art of exorcism. I don't know if that's the art or the skill or the knowledge. The field of exorcism. Is Father Lance going to transfer over because there's such a vacuum in the market?

He's not a Catholic priest, though, is he? Byzantine Catholic? I don't know. Does he follow the Pope? I mean, he's also not a nexus. I don't know. I don't talk to him as much as you do. That was going to be my overkill, though.

And to my thinking, though, I think that shows for a for a fact though that if there are legitimate Catholic priests in Ireland willing to go on record and publicly call out the Vatican because there's not enough people trained in exorcism, what does that say? It says that they care more about that than priests fucking diddling kids because they didn't say shit about that. No. It doesn't say that at all. No. It has nothing to do with – I mean they didn't say shit about that. No. It has nothing to do with it. Nobody was speaking out about that. Is that still a thing? I mean, I'm sure it is,

but it has to be like real hush-hush. Even more like you can't let them survive after that. You've got to be real careful if you're going to molest a kid. These priests murdering and molesting? I mean it's the only way to make sure you don't get caught for that part. The murder part you may still get caught for. Off topic though. Totally off topic though. No, no.

This was not about – this was about Catholic priests in Ireland being like – I mean, come on. They put on blast. The blast how? You're right. That's like – What do you mean how? Do you know what the fuck that means? Were they like tweeting them or –

They were going on and publicly shaming them. OK. Not on tweeting, smartass. This is the fucking guy you're putting in charge of the conspiracy thing? Like Simon Cowell would definitely know what putting somebody on the last minute. I don't really. What the fuck? This guy looks like a rummy taxi driver.

Do you not know? Have you not heard about this? What? About the priest? No. Some fucking self-proclaimed conspiracy bunker. Wow. It's a news week.

Yeah. This is a legitimate – Is that credible news week. Yeah. But they're basing it on what? That there have been too many demonic possessions that haven't been rectified or haven't been addressed? They're dealing with so many in Ireland right now. And there's no help on the way from the Vatican.

So there's a disproportionate number of possessions in Ireland. Or there's too few exorcists. This is saying that that's a situation. International Association of Exorcists believe that demonic activity has increased substantially in recent years. What was that international what? International Association of Exorcists.

We should do a book about that. In unrelated news, there was a toxic chemical spill in Ireland that affected a bunch of fucking priests. I mean, if Newsweek picks it up, are you trying to say something? Let me tell you something. There's one of the reasons I don't read the news anymore except for articles about you. I don't believe shit. I don't believe anything these motherfuckers say. I don't believe CNN.

I don't believe Newsweek. I don't believe shit. I don't believe anything these motherfuckers say. I don't believe CNN. I don't believe Newsweek. I don't believe anybody. Okay. Because it always turns out later on that they fucking lied about something or made something up. Well, yes. There's a 2016 documentary called Deliver Us about modern-day exorcists. You want to come over? It's on Netflix.

It's on Netflix. Whoa. We got to watch that, bud. Anyone who doesn't see the need for more exorcists Is out of touch with reality Right, I mean this is a huge story Some may argue the people that think demons Actually exist are out of touch with reality But they wouldn't

This is what I can't stand though You want to bring your murdered child To the conspiracy to overkill I tried to shoehorn him in But this is like When you see Legitimate priests to overkill, but I tried to shoehorn him in, but this is like when, but yet face when, when you see, um,

legitimate priests risking everything to talk about this. Right. And you just discount it without, without even reading it. No, no, no, no,

no, no. They risk their, the risk, their careers. It's a good thing that I'm not the tinfoil foil because you're getting worked up. See, I'm only reading it's one priest. It's an association.

You saw it. Didn't you hear a cue read? The Association of Exorcists. International Association. Yeah, it says in 2014, the IAEA said the levels of demonic activity throughout the world had reached what they considered a pastoral emergency. So? So then it is what you said. What?

That it's a bunch of guys. I think it's a lot of people who are dealing. But why are all the cases in Ireland though? They're fucking all drunk. Oh, I got the spirit in me. I think I'm possessed either that or I drank and smoked way too much.

I got a fucking demon inside me. Fucking 2000 years ago. Where's a priest? I could be leprechauns with these fucking people. I don't know, it's demons. Leprechauns are not sexy. They're demons and shit. To me though, like I wanted to – I didn't get around to doing it because a lot was going on today.

But I wanted Declan to be an on-the-field reporter about this, to do a little research. Talk to some of the priests. Find out what's going on. Oh, he's in England? Yeah, he lives in England. Oh, he's going back and forth. He's always talking about he's in Ireland though. I got good internet.

I got shitty internet. Yeah. Yeah. He's – he could going back and forth. He's always talking about he's in Ireland. I got good internet. I got shitty internet. Yeah. He could go back anyway. Send him as a correspondent. Well, anyway, that wasn't what I was about to talk about anyway. I'm talking about Roswell. Oh, that's right. There was a meteor that fell in India

in this little village. Not on the train tracks, I hope. And it was... It had a pale yellow-brown color texture with a transparent surface. Some villagers believed that the mysterious object was a space rock. We've talked about space rock, remember? Well, that's what a meteor is. Space grass, I meant to say. Remember we talked about space grass years ago?

So which do they think? It's a space rock or space grass? Because it is a which do they think? It's a space rock or space grass? Because it is a fucking space rock. Or is it a space rock with space grass in it? It has space grass on it. Okay. So they saw something brown with grass sticking out of it. And they're like, that must be a meteor.

There's something on the ground. With a billion fucking cows in it. A billion fucking cows in the country. And they're like, I don't know, probably came from space, I guess. There's meteors everywhere. But a team of scientists... Is this one of Trump's

shitholes? From the India Meteorological, did I say that right? Yes. Department, reached a spot to collect samples. They informed the Natural Disaster Management Authority as well. How fucking big was the thing? Now for 24 hours,

people were claiming that they felt weird in its presence, that it was changing color, and that it was... Are you talking about the space rock or get him fucking laughing at his own joke? We you talking about the space rock or get him fucking laughing at his own joke? We're talking about the space rock.

People in its presence were feeling very strange and were having visions. And then 24 hours later, this agency comes out and says, it's not a meteor. And what it is, it was a transparent cube, a ball of ice full of human excrement. It was crap. We were right. No, you're not right. I am right.

Ends in shit. Every story. I maintain that this is just like Roswell. That this was not blue ice. This was not because who... If it fell anywhere else on the planet, I could see them mistaking it for not knowing it was

shit. But in India, these motherfuckers deal with it constantly. How the fuck they would know immediately that it was just some ice and shit. So I believe that this was a problem. Wait, so you're saying that they freeze their shit and therefore they would know what frozen shit looks like

if this meteor which was basically they said ice with excrement in it they would know immediately what it was even if it was covered in ice in India but I believe that it was a cover up and that it really was a meteor

that was something strange and something very otherworldly. And now they're covering it up and saying it was... Let me tell you, sir. If this fell in America, okay. Maybe they don't know what it is. But in India, we know our shit. Pun fucking intended. You see a picture of it?

This is what it looks like. I wouldn't know. That is not even a... I believe that's not even a real picture of what it was. This is a gigantic cover-up. You think it picture of it? This is what it looks like. I wouldn't know. I believe that's not even a real picture of what it was. You think it's been doctored? Yeah, I believe that this whole thing is a lie and that something did fall on India and it's being covered up right now. What makes you believe that? And what do you think it is that fell? Because in the world of Twitter, in the world of the internet, the people 24 hours before the government, even the government of India would get that quote unquote in my book, rushed in and put a fake story out there to cover it up.

I believe it was something extraterrestrial. Well, I guess I'm asking why do you believe that? The president is like, just say it's more shit. The president is like, just say it's more shit. Because even though that you may think that it's a fourth world. Is it a fourth world country? I don't think fourth world exists, but third is. It would be safe to say. They still get on the internet and they still show pictures and they still talk about stuff that's going on in their world though.

And everybody thought it was a meteor up until the government came in and be though, and everybody thought it was a meteor. Up until the government came in and was like, no, it's not a meteor. And shut it down. Right, but why... Right, okay. But why do you... But why do you... You just think the way it unfolded is suspicious. The way it unfolded is super suspicious

and these people were talking about it having... causing strange visions, causing them to feel weird in its presence. It didn't feel like ice. So they're touching it? Oh, yeah. There's pictures of people holding it. So there are pictures of them holding it? Yes. Okay.

Before they were taken down and redacted. Right. The people probably redacted them because they're like, oh my god, I was holding a giant piece of shit with a smile on my face. I was fucking Stephen fucking Hawking. I look like a total asshole. The visions were from the methane.

Tell them, Steve. I've got a sick feeling This one can't be saved Set him down and lock him away Please cool him, wash him clean She stinks, everything This prison was a blistering Are you ready for the new place? What is this control to defy command?

Make way for the brave Stand up and don't stand in the way Time to take and count Feel this cup, it pours it out Free now, I'm on my way Broke it down, brought it back Opened up, but don't step too fast Clear the path and I'm here to stay Oh yeah

Are you ready for the new plan? What is this control to defy command? Make way for a free Meep Stand up, I don't stand in the way Out of the way Out of the way! Are you ready for the new plan? What is this control to defy command? Make way for a free man

Stand up, watch out, stand in the way Out of the way Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Out of the way! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Get out of the way! This has been a production of Smodco Internet Radio. Serve only at Smodcast.com.