Tell Em Steve-Dave - #388: Death and Periods

Episode Date: September 24, 2018

Who’d wipe your ass in a pinch? Sage dispenses some advice. Q gets into a fender bender. Music: CVPITVLS - Stereologue...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Your job is to scrub a dude's cock regardless of his affliction. I Carat cake no that cake I didn't have hair I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, two-man podcast again, Walt. You're on our way up to Meet Queue. We weren't gonna record from the stash this week and you got into a fender bender. We were gonna record at his house, you mean? We're gonna record at his place, yeah. You said stash. Oh, did I?
Starting point is 00:01:16 Yeah. I said, we're gonna record at his stash. Oh, you said we're gonna record at the stash. Oh, no, we were not gonna record at the stash. Yeah, that's what I meant. We were on our way up to his place and we were gonna to record there. And to a live stream, too. Both things had to be postponed.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Everything got squashed. He sent us some pictures from the scene which really looked like this lady did not get hit at all. Yeah, you really couldn't see any significant or any damage whatsoever from the picture recent. Yeah. Been any car accidents as of late? Oh, knock on wood, no. Any near misses? I don't think so. You never know though, I guess. I, uh, near miss. Yeah, I guess not. I, uh, in your mess. Yeah, I guess not. I, I watched those videos on like live leak and the YNC and shit. It's astounding. How unlucky some people are like in terms of like you're just driving down the highway. You're driving down the highway and then a car from the other side jumps a median and like literally goes right through your windshield.
Starting point is 00:02:23 Yeah, I remember in the summertime there was that horrific story of a family coming back on vacation and just wiped out because a car just hopped at the fighter or hopped the median, the grass median came over on their side and head on collision. I think only the mother survived, but it's like, is it even surviving when everybody in your family is gone But you now you're all alone and you've got to carry on it. It's just nuts. What do you do? What do you fucking do it like it was it was quite a few people right wasn't it like seven? People died in one survived or something like that. Yeah, it was like three daughters her husband and and she survived
Starting point is 00:03:00 I don't even I mean those answers that are not Coming from this podcast. I'm sorry. If you're looking, yeah, don't even ask, don't even begin to ask such a lofty question. How do I carry on? It's like, don't know. Maybe, no. I don't know how I wouldn't even know.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Like, those are the people that, like, if they turn to, to numbing themselves, like, you know, you, they're like, yeah, like, yeah, then you totally get it. So that's when you would have given me the pass, I'd have to lose everything and everyone. And then I could mumbling. Yeah, you say, let's go for a drive. You really, you really, like, I don't even know how it's like, it's so numbing, like, sad to see a story like that, but they happen every day, I mean. All the time, I saw a video.
Starting point is 00:03:47 The roads are just so dangerous. I saw a video of a lady walking down the street, this is in Mexico or something or a different country. She's walking down the street and a bus goes by. And this is a, not like a highway, this is just a normal like, like almost as if we're going through Redback, just sort of a suburban street. And something happens to the tire of the bus. It like blows out and it shoots this ring.
Starting point is 00:04:19 I guess it's part of the inside of the tire and it hits her in the head. It looked like she got hit by a car. She just, she's walking on street She disappears into a doorway like because she's walking by a store. It hits her. She was just boom. She's gone Into the doorway now if that lady had left home to seconds earlier or two seconds later or whatever, but I mean There's so many times. I'm like oh my god. I've got the worst luck. It's like nah Yeah, you're not even You might be well, mean, you must always look at the other way. Like, you got unbelievable luck. Yeah, really? When you think about it, I shouldn't even be like, why are you listening to me? Oh, because I'm lucky. That's why.
Starting point is 00:04:58 You're right. I make me the luckiest fucking guy on earth. Yeah, you really, if you could just turn it around, I'd like to think that way, you know. Yeah, I'll see if I can move to glass half full territory. I saw this story, you may have heard it. I'm sure everybody, this is a thing like, by the time we record shit, everybody is probably already talked about it. This guy in Arizona who faked having Down syndrome, do you hear about this guy? Yeah. Arizona man faked having Down syndrome. Do you hear about this guy?
Starting point is 00:05:25 Yeah. Arizona man fakes having Down syndrome. Hires woman to bathe them and change his diapers. Now here's a picture of the dude. Right? Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't like for. Yeah, you could pay.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You could. He's got the like the the characteristic of like the round sort of moon face. His eyes look a little lazy, but I don't think that's a characteristic of like the round sort of moon face. His eyes look a little lazy, but I don't think that's a characteristic of Don Syndrome. Otherwise, you'd be like, he's just like a relatively like unattractive dude, but he's 31. And he was arrested on fraud and sexual abuse charges.
Starting point is 00:06:01 He posed as a woman named Amy on a caregiver site called carelinks.com saying she needed assistance with her adult son. So he's gonna get pretending to be his model. Well, yes, okay. All right. Three caregivers, okay, go ahead. I'm just curious, so that's a crime.
Starting point is 00:06:18 As long as he paid, does it matter if he really has down? Well, three caregivers all women were hired to care for him at various points over the summer, with the first woman saying she bathed and assisted him 30 times. So, the fraud is that, like, I guess they wouldn't have taken the job if they knew he was capable of changing his own diaper? I guess so, they took the, well, I don't think he needs to wear a diaper.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Well, it says he has to wear the changes diaper, right? Yeah, but he, I don't think he needed to wear it. So, this is some sort of fetish thing that he likes, okay? But so I guess you could see fraud, but is that a criminal? Because it's like he's, he paid for the service. That would be like going like to, if I went to the doctor and said, my, I got a, I just like, you know, someone to touch my toes. And like, hey, my, I touch my toes and like hey
Starting point is 00:07:05 I think my toes broken but so then he would look at it and touch it and touch it and like kind of maybe Like massage it or something. Yeah, if that were to turn you on sexually then that would be a crime Yeah, he asked the caregivers to meet him at restaurants to change his dirty diapers in the public bathroom Oh, well, that's it. Well, that's got to be a tip off right there. I mean, he can't be driving. Well, it didn't say he drove. It just said that he asked... He asked caregivers to meet him like, how is he asking them now? All three nurses said that he became a rouse during the bath. And the caregiver said, quote said quote Amy and quote the
Starting point is 00:07:46 mom texted them telling them to punish him if he soiled his diaper. This guy's got a whole thick fucking go on. The first caregiver became suspicious and followed him home earlier this month and met his parents. She discovered he did not have Down syndrome and not require diaper changes. Said that in a court appearance that he is special needs and a low level IQ. My mom and dad both have paperwork to prove that. I mean, which is more embarrassing? That you're busted for getting somebody to change your dirty diapers or you have to go into court and be like, I'm legally dumb. I don't know. I'm still like, I mean, I guess you feel, I mean, did the workers feel violated?
Starting point is 00:08:30 I mean, they're okay doing that as long as they're... Well, as long as it's somebody who really needs to help, not somebody who's using them as a prostitute, basically. I mean, that's what it comes down to, right? Because they're like, I want to get into this to help people who can't help themselves. And this guy's like, wait a second, there's a work around here. I mean, you should make the argument that he, there's nobody, he needs somebody to do it.
Starting point is 00:08:57 Or he's no one's gonna do it. So like, this is a service that's out there. You know, you can hire a prostitute to do it. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, it's not legal though. No, this isn't either Evidently this is legal leader Yeah, I just wouldn't think that that would be as long as I thought as long as he paid whatever they whatever the fee was for this for this Care I wouldn't think that um he had done something that would be you get him in some sort of legal jeopardy
Starting point is 00:09:26 Yeah, I'd be wrong now He had done something that would be, you know, get him in some sort of legal jeopardy. Yeah. I'd be wrong, no. I'm gonna go ahead and make a leap and assume he doesn't have many friends. But if you have friends and this is the kind of thing you get busted doing, how do you turn around and... It looks embarrassing, right?
Starting point is 00:09:42 If it's embarrassing, if I gotta go into the stash and it might, and get them know that I was just released on bond. Yeah, because I was at Denny's and there was some caregiver change in my diaper. It would be tough to face them. They walked in and you're in the bathroom like on that baby changing thing that's hanging off the wall. It would be very difficult to face them.
Starting point is 00:10:06 And I mean, I guess you just had to come to it was like, hey, it's what I'm into. You got to face it head on. You got to be like, this is what I'm into. Yeah, I mean, it's a fat out of it, but it's a fetish. We all have fetishes. Right. Get them. Come on.
Starting point is 00:10:18 You're trying to turn it on them. Yeah. Who are you? Look down on me. Yeah, with that lump on your wrist. Just out of a bitch. Yeah, it's fucking people are like I don't quite get it man. I don't quite get like like the like what you have to go through to get someone to do this Do you feel bad for him a little that he's like this is my thing and it's not gonna be easy because it's not like I'm a super handsome guy
Starting point is 00:10:44 I mean if you're handsome, can you pull it off? I'll bet you like You can find women that are like if you're a good looking guy and you're like, well, all right, this is what I'm into. You tell them what you're into. You're like I guess if you're like aflex level, you can find you can find hot women We'll even do that for you Because he's also famous. Yes. Right. So maybe it'd be a good looking and isn't enough.
Starting point is 00:11:07 You also have a little bit of fame. You've got to have the perfect combo of fame and looks. Yeah. To pull that off, which is guy, unfortunately, had. He had neither. He's famous now. Well, I like it. I don't know if that's famous.
Starting point is 00:11:21 Inferness. Sucks for him too, though, is that in the the world of 2018 is that it goes across the world so quick and his pictures all over the place. It's okay to shame in for this. I think so. You have especially since he, you know, he did it also to women too, which is definitely a no. And today's world it seems like anything.
Starting point is 00:11:45 I mean, I would be fucking, I don't know. I mean, if my job was to change people, adults, diapers, though. And I found out that one of my clients could change his own diaper. Or didn't need to wear a diaper to begin with? I don't know. I personally have, like, if I'm doing that anyway, that's part of my what I offer. Do I service? I don't know if I would be that aghast.
Starting point is 00:12:18 Well, here's a thing though. They're like, I could be helping someone who really needs it. Right, I get it. And you're suiling your different purpose, bro. And I mean, who's to say that like they don't see a rousal when they're legitimate people are getting bad. They must, right? They must. If your job is to scrub a dude's cock regardless of his affliction right. He's probably going to get around. Yeah. I guess that I guess it's
Starting point is 00:12:54 you compartmentalized you that and you just don't even don't even like you're not thinking that far ahead. You're just like, I'm gonna shit in this diaper and this lady's gonna clean it and then I'm gonna get aroused. I mean, but he really wanted it. I mean, his, he was committed, pretending that he's someone else
Starting point is 00:13:17 and being like punish him. So it wasn't just like the changing. It's like now you gotta punish him too. I'm really less. They don't say what the punishment was though. Definitely a freak show, but. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, if he does jail time, although it would be like stunned. I'm not saying he shouldn't. I mean, if that's the law, but like, wow, if he goes to jail for this. You know, I mean, you might find somebody in jail that
Starting point is 00:13:40 might want to change his diaper. Yeah, like somebody out and then yeah, they're changing his fucking diaper. I wonder what I wonder what gave it away. Every, I'll let him somebody out. And then the other changing his fucking diaper. I wonder what gave it away. Every story is the same. But I think gave it away. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,
Starting point is 00:13:52 he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,
Starting point is 00:14:00 he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's because if you're if you're need that service, you can't you can't tell if how clean they are No, you wouldn't be able to like you know way in. I'm like you need to clean those better just like Just like I I have not been involved not with in a tragic car accident. I'm like, I am pretty lucky Uh, this is not my job That's also lucky that I don't have to do this job where they're like wipe this ass
Starting point is 00:14:25 Some people fucking go. I don't understand it man. I don't have that kind of We honest. I don't have the kind of caring for other people that I'm like let me go help a ton of strangers That's the next level of caring right there. There's people that God's work is this Yeah, you're more like a nurse. She isn't nurse, but she worked in the nursery with the baby. She has a white Butch there little bucks that look I mean, it's just a little or tiny your butt when you go get right down to it. Yeah without cubes and fucking erections When you boil it down Still about it still about it's just a little bit smaller than that dudes
Starting point is 00:15:03 Yeah, maybe he should be his lawyer. Your Honor. Yeah, let me submit that his ass is just jumbo size compared to a baby. Therefore, the diaper doesn't fit you most to quit. I think the tip of should have been when he was in a restaurant. Because... Yeah, you're meeting her at a restaurant Well, you would do that in public in a public restroom and that the caregiver or whoever is meeting there Like isn't like well this cannot be done in a public restroom. Yeah, and it was did they go into the men's are the ladies are my wonder
Starting point is 00:15:38 Yeah, you're right. Wait because she would have to she would have she's a female So she wouldn't be allowed in the men's room. He's a male, you wouldn't be allowed in the female or restroom. It was a word of target, and anything goes. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, target. You can, I think you can use whatever bathroom you're feeling. So there's no, there's still symbols on the doors though.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Still symbols on the door, but you're allowed to ignore them if you feel like it. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's been so, there you're allowed to ignore them if you feel like it. I didn't know that. Oh yeah. There's been so there's been a rash of them. So if you walk into a restaurant and you see that cleansing going on. Like I walk into the men's room, you and I just went to Red Robin. I walk into the Red Robin restroom and there's a dude bent over and a lady wipe on his
Starting point is 00:16:23 ass. Yeah, I turn right around. I'm like dude You're not gonna leave what's going on I Would be pretty stunned and a gas That should not be an activity that's done in public. No that dude That's the red flag that he's not doesn't he's not at home with the mother like get with a caregiver at home Yeah, that he's out and about and like hey, they might ask why it's like you seem to be able to do all this other stuff on your own
Starting point is 00:16:53 I met you here so you got here somehow Yeah, that's the red that's the one that like every caregiver should have been like no now I I mean How how many other clients they have that are able to get to a restaurant? Yeah, usually with that kind of care it's someone who's like profoundly fucked up, like they're in one of those wheelchairs or something they can't do shit on their own. Although Pam did work in a nursing home for a while too, so she had to have wiped some old wrinkly asses, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Would you rather go like then, like then you're in a nursing home and they're like, all right, flip over and like then they have to wipe your ass. Would you be like, just come on man. It's a tough question man. These are the question, you're asking the questions that this podcast is not equipped in.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah, these are all death questions. I mean, I want to, I don't want to die and if like I'm still wanna be like, if even if I'm like bed ridden, I'd still want to die. And if I'm still on a, but like, even if I'm like bedridden, I still want to watch sports and stuff. So I'm like, is that a matter of like, I just got to have someone, some stranger take care of my,
Starting point is 00:17:58 my one and two. Oh man, it's so, it's so degrading, but like, I still don't want to, I still, unless I'm in like horrific, if that's the only thing that's wrong with me, I just need someone to do that, I would be like, yeah, I still want to, I still want to be here then, even though I can't take care of it. You've got all your faculties, yeah, that's the one thing you can't do. But it's because you're hyper-obees, you're 700 pounds. But as you get older, like some of the older people who listen will know this, some of the fucking younger people, you'll find out as you get older, you do have to be like, hey, can you help me with this? Like for me, it's like, so if I
Starting point is 00:18:38 forget my glasses, and I'm at a restaurant, it's like, you got to tell me what's on this menu. I can't see it. I fucking literally cannot see it. I have a relative who slipped and he fell and broke both arms. Broke both elbows or something. And when you break both elbows, you need somebody to... You're in that double cast. Oh, you need somebody to get your is it a guy? Yeah, obviously need somebody to get it out for Get what out is dick you like to take a piss everything? Oh Wipe your ass. Oh, yeah Shit, that's not the dance syndrome figure shit had done just broke both his elbows Yeah, cuz I'm not cuz I too didn't like it that didn't hit me until someone
Starting point is 00:19:25 told me. Well, you got to go wipe his ass. We want it? It didn't it didn't don't of me when I was like, Oh my God, you're right. He would need help to do everything till he's out of those casts. You're expecting to not jerk off right?, and he was on the outs with his, because you would expect your wife to do it, right? It's like, you know, you for better or worse, this unfortunately is the worst. Yeah. But, but he-
Starting point is 00:19:58 Never thought I was gonna come, but here we are. But, but he was on the outs with his wife, so he could only turn to two other people. Parents, I will wipe my ass until we all lose you. It's going to be unpleasant for a lot of people for quite a while. Parents and brother. Oh, God. So you're telling me you don't love your brother enough? Eric's like, oh, it's only
Starting point is 00:20:27 Five months and then I'm at it as cast five months ago What happened to his wife they're on the outs they're on the outs. Yeah I'm devising a system. I'm not digging my hand in there But I will get like you know like those scrubbers that you wash your back with in the shower I'm gonna like like kind of like the Simpson's like I wash wash your back with in the shower. I'm gonna like, like kind of like the Simpson's, he's like, I wash myself with a rag on the stick. Like, it's gonna be something like that, where I have to keep a distance, you know?
Starting point is 00:20:53 At a certain point, though, it's your brother and you probably did it when he was younger. Again, they're going right back to it. We're going right back to it, like, you didn't. The last person's big ass, yeah. Yeah, I mean, what's the difference at this point? I know there's a big difference, but like, in the grand scheme of things, can't you just like,
Starting point is 00:21:08 stop worrying about your hang ups? Yes, it's a new one. It's a new one. Okay, just for once, not looking at it from your feet. I've never been so happy I didn't have a brother. I know why I said I wanted a brother. There's moments so glad. I know I said I wanted a brother This moment so glad I Feel like every time I did it I would be like you're an asshole man like why the fuck
Starting point is 00:21:32 Whatever however he broke his elbows. I'm like why were you doing that? He was that work. He just slipped and he couldn't get his arms down in time time. You can't afford some of the come in do it all. He was uninsured. No, God damn him. So would you step up or would you be like, Pam, you see, it's your son. It's your son. Oh, I would be a last resort for sure. Oh, yeah, because Pam would do it. And I would be like, Hey, you got to do this. Just for a guy. Oh yeah, yeah, Pam would definitely do it. How? How do you cope with that? Right. Like it, like how do you cope with that? Especially since Eric would be like on five separate occasions, you didn't clean it enough. I hope Eric's listening. Because I'm sure he's never thought he would be the subject of Up up his mother. Yeah, wife is asked he's got two broken elbows
Starting point is 00:22:34 But you're now you're in a you're in a oh Hello sage. Hey, what's that little one? Like come say hi to what I was just about to say something that I shouldn't say in front of a young sister. Hello. How are you? How are you? You want to sit down with us for a minute? I got to ask you a question. Hold on, come here, sit down with us for a second. Hold on come here sit down with us for a second. Oh, yes, and hold this microphone. Okay Got it. Yep, okay. Let's say data fell right let's say data fell and he broke both his elbows and Then he then he couldn't wipe his own butt. Would you help me out? Yeah, you would
Starting point is 00:23:22 You're so nice that's the same. You're a nice kid. Yeah, I Think though that you could lose her know if you do that oh yeah they're like your shoes feels like six months ago like we tried a kid I think that yeah I think that would be highly um your hold that's just possible yeah yeah they're like so wait you have insurance there are other adults around like your mom you said on the podcast your mom would do it. Yeah, you're a good kid though, huh? Oh, yeah, you give me ham, I do. You do give you hamburgers. Does that really care about our hamburgers? Oh, you're I have a microphone already. You don't have you're not interviewing me. How school going? Yeah. I get 10. You get tens every day. She gets a there's like a check system. Oh yeah. 10 to 10 star. Yeah. Like she can get one out of 10 to it at 10. But
Starting point is 00:24:13 I heard you got a seven. Yeah. No. I get 10. I kind of I kind of was in the classroom. I thought I saw a seven by your name. Nope. I live for you I love four. You got a four? You got a four once? Yeah, so far it's been tens across the board. I tell separate guys. What? I have four of money. You got a four for your name?
Starting point is 00:24:33 Yeah. How come you didn't spell it right? I did. I did. I spell it. I just spell it. S-A-T-E. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Ow, I want. I want. Hey, do you want to give somebody some advice? Is it? Let's see. What if I had a problem? Let's see. OK.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Matt Graves wants to know, how do I know if a girl likes me? Kiss it. If she gives them a kiss, then she likes him. Yeah. What if she likes him and she's shy. Maybe she doesn't want to just give him a kiss. I'm your kiss. A dance. Oh you give him a kiss at the dance? Yeah. Alright. That's pretty good. Alright Matt Graves, I tell you now if you go to the dance and And you get a kiss? Yep Here's another guy. What should I get my wife for her birthday? What what kind of birthday gift do girls like?
Starting point is 00:25:38 earrings Pretty good fancy good fancy earrings. Yeah, diamond earrings. Oh, diamond earrings? Yeah. Six months souring. Yeah, Tiffany's baby. Wobbzy says, what's the best food you for dessert? Cake. Cake.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Mm-hmm. You never, you never, cake. Cake, ever. The flavor of cake, you like chocolate? Vanilla. Chocolate cake. First cake. Soap cake. Ice cream cake. Oh, I say, Nala. Uh vanilla chocolate cake strawberry soap cake
Starting point is 00:26:05 ice cream cake oh I say vanilla vanilla cake yeah what kind of frosting? uh
Starting point is 00:26:13 carrot cake no that carrot cake that makes your eyes strong carrot cake yeah you'll be able to see into the future if you eat enough carrots uh not even a carrot you know that carrot? care cake. Yeah, you'll be able to see into the future if you eat enough carrots. Oh, my car is more. You know, like carrots? My look at Okay, this guy's 33 and he's not married. Should he get married or should he stay single? Should everybody get married or should some people not get married? Yes, my should get married.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Mm-hmm. Is it great to be married? Are you going to get married? Mm-hmm. Is it great to be married? Are you gonna get married? Uh, uh... Better watch your answer, Dad. I'm gonna like it. You're gonna get married? Yes. You think so, huh?
Starting point is 00:26:55 I don't mind too... It seems. Prince James? Yes. Still Prince James, huh? We were at a... You're so mad at me. We went to Perkins the other day. And you thought our waiter was cute, huh? We were at a... We were so mad at me. We went to Perkins the other day and you thought our waiter was cute, right?
Starting point is 00:27:08 And you liked the waiter and then I pointed out other boyfriend you could have. Remember they were like real old, like 80 years old. Remember all the old men I said you could date them? You didn't like that though. Perkins is the greatest place to do that because everyone is 80 pretty much. Yeah, they're a little bit slower clientele over there in Perkins. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:30 So let's see, maybe one more thing, right? Well, will let you give one more piece of advice. This is a good one for you. Do you believe in magic? Yes. You do. I do. The other day, she came home yesterday from school. She goes
Starting point is 00:27:47 she goes upstairs. She comes down with like her pajamas and her iPad and stuff and she tells me she's going to Pam's house. She can go into grandma's right? That's what you told me. Yeah, papa. Miss Guiz was coming to get you. You said Miss Guiz is her teacher. Okay. Miss Guiz is coming together. The reason she's coming together is because the night before this is coming together. The reason she's coming to get her is because the night before this is from her. The night before the teacher snuck into the house, stole her magic book, and then was going to use it to perform dark magic on me and her. So she had to get out of the house. So, I guess, League at the church. You think so.
Starting point is 00:28:27 You really would think so. It doesn't sedate anyone though. It just makes it crazy. Crazy hallucinations. Yeah. What did you do? Did you talk to Quizz today? Did you get your magic book back?
Starting point is 00:28:39 Or she still haven't? At that. She still hasn't. Focus, focus. No, not that. Puck your focus. Abra Qadabra. No still has it. Focus. Focus. No, not a big focus. Abra Kadabra. No. What kind of spells do you think your teacher would put on you? Master, master, in my hand. What is it? Magic magic in your hand? No, not that's it. Go with going.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Go with goy Bbb us so so and no Bb us Those are I don't know what that is that med this magic and cantations. Yeah, what does it do turn people in the frogs and stuff? No, no I don't match it All right, what do you like better Christmas or Halloween? Halloween Halloween's better. Yeah, you are my kid Britney wants to know what should she do if she comes in contact with a zombie. If she meets up with a zombie, what should she do? I mean, Queen.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Just run away screaming. All right, there you go. That's something. All right, thanks for dropping by and giving advice. We appreciate it. All right. See you later, bud. Thanks for dropping by and giving advice. We appreciate it. See you later, bud. You're gonna drop the mic. Nice. Nice. You can't, baby.
Starting point is 00:30:02 So before she came down, where are you going to say? I don't know Because we're talking about wiping butts and um, Oh, I was going to say um, you're kind of um, relatively new relationship, is this an old, is this a relationship strong enough to handle Brian Johnson with two broken arms and someone has to wipe butts? Absolutely. Is it strong enough to handle a Mary Beth with two broken arms and someone has to wipe buts. Absolutely. Is it strong enough to handle a merry bath with two broken arms? Someone way street up. Oh, it always is. Um, yeah, I mean, I don't think anyone would be super excited about it.
Starting point is 00:30:44 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Florence Nightingale would run the other way. Yeah. Well, is that the one? Florence, what's the Nightingale? Like there was a nurse, a famous nurse, right? Yeah, that was where we have Florence Nightingale.
Starting point is 00:30:55 I thought, well, who's the Nightingale? That was with the Pips then. Gladys Night. Gladys Night in the Pips. Oh, okay. Gladys Night. Florence Nightingale. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I mean, I mean, I maybe have him a Nightingale. Yeah, I think that Casselie is getting to you. You know what I did have to go through recently? Something that I knew was coming, something I asked other people to prepare her for. Oh, I don't know. They saved us for space monkeys. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Oh, no, thank you. I'd rather talk about death. Oh, no. Good God. No, no, no, no. I think everybody gets it. Everybody gets it. But it did what I had to do.
Starting point is 00:31:33 I want to do an ed real fast. Good. Ed's. We got away. I love away. There you go. I do. They sent us a free bag that you used to collect your snapples in at the store.
Starting point is 00:31:49 Oh, okay. That's these guys. Yeah, I see these guys. And I bought a big one because I was going away for longer periods than the smaller bag would accommodate. And I really actually do like their stuff. And I bought it full price, except for our discount. Key talking points that a way would love for us to discuss is that they always use high quality materials
Starting point is 00:32:12 while offering a much lower price compared to other brands by cutting out the middle man and selling directly to you. You can choose from a variety of colors and four sizes, the carry on, the bigger-on, the bigger carry-on, the medium, or the large, for extended stays. This stuff is in a... Oh damn, I should call sage back. Joe Woody asked, should Mike and Ming finally just get down to it and resolve their hot sexual tension? Free shipping and any away order with the lower within the lower 48 states. Carry on sizes that are compliant with all major US airlines while
Starting point is 00:32:53 maximizing the amount you can pack. If you're in town please be sure to visit away at their retail store in New York City. Let's see what some... Damn, I like this aluminum edition. I'm looking holy shit, 495, that's a lot. Don't say that. Yeah, that's worth it though. I mean, it's gonna last you forever. Do you, like when you buy stuff now,
Starting point is 00:33:17 do you buy quality shit? Because you're like, I'm old enough that this will be the last piece of luggage I buy. This will be the last piece of that I buy this will be the last this or that I buy No, I mean, I know I shouldn't say this I'll just I'll just I'm not gonna I'll knock I would for you. I'll just use a garbage bag before I go by I get expensive luggage. You can't just bring it on like a hefty bag I put it in a garbage bag before I would I know that this is not what they want to hear probably not
Starting point is 00:33:42 They're like what did you say? What did our spokesman say? I'm not a spokesman. But there's a special offer to listeners of our show. You for $20 off the suitcase, visit awaitravel.com slash TSD and use promo code TSD, during checkout. Repeat the offer and call the action. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaitravel.com slash TSD. During checkout, repeat the offer and call the action. For $20 off a suitcase visit away travel.com slash TST and use promo code TSD. Video channels are also required. We don't have video. We can't fucking get video
Starting point is 00:34:19 rolling. Somehow it's fucking alludes us. I like these things too, because you can like the smaller ones you can plug your phone into. So when you go to the airport and everybody's like crowded around the, uh, the plugs and shit. There are so many things that we can't do or it's or like to so many regulations that we're, that we're to adhere to for this ad. Yeah. Um, they don't make it easy. easy. They really don't like I'm going through all this crap to wait through here. It's the best luggage that Brian Johnson owns one
Starting point is 00:34:58 and it's good enough for you. It's good enough for Brian Johnson. Yeah, who are you? You're so fucking special that like you're gonna get better luggage than me. Lucky as guy on earth. Hey, it's Brian. I gotta jump in here real quickly because we forgot a whole bunch of stuff for this away. Ed, you can choose from a variety of colors and four sizes. All suitcases are made with premium German polycarbonate, 4 360 degree spinners, TSA approved combination lock, removable washable laundry bag, a hundred-day trial, live with it, vibe with it, travel with it, Instagram it, free shipping on any way order within the lower 48 states, and carry-on sizes are compliant with all major U.S. airlines while maximizing the amount you can pack. We must voice a special offer, so if you guys want to buy it, for $20 off a suitcase visit awaytravel.com slash TESD and use
Starting point is 00:35:51 promo code TESD Doring Checkout. Repeat the offer and call the action. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com slash TESD and use promo code TESD Doring Checkout. And back to the show the show or actually back to the ad, I guess. I don't know. I can't remember where this is going. Speaking of a video live stream, I don't know if I don't want to say I don't want to be, I don't want to say something that may or may not happen, but this would have been the last live stream that we would have been responsible for, I think, or maybe there is one more I can't recall. No, it's just this one. But the second cycle of Patreon's coming up,
Starting point is 00:36:34 October, November and December, a lot of new changes, a lot of new, I think, in my opinion, better offerings for the Patreon subscribers We're gonna do away with live streams, right? Yeah, well we went over it And it's like I mean the two live streams they were what's not good ourselves. Yeah, that's why like this one was Had we done it? We don't know if it would have worked. We don't know if it would have worked, but it was set up so that It had the best chance of working
Starting point is 00:37:05 of the three. It was a different platform and it was going to be a hard-wired line, so we weren't depending on Wi-Fi. But yeah, you and I have spoken about it and there are certain things in there where like this doesn't reflect a good value for people, so we want to give more valuable stuff. You can just continue your Patreon thing at any time if you're like well fuck this. I wanted a live stream But I think in my opinion you're gonna be getting much much better content than a live stream That's choppy as shit, and you may or may not be on and then see and stuff that like and seeing us stare at a screen and read
Starting point is 00:37:42 People's responses. I just go. oh, they can't see us. Oh, it's too low. Oh, the audio seems. 25% of the time is like just reading people being like, here's the problem with it. That's what you were paying for to see us read that. And I feel, I hated it. So in my opinion, what we're offering instead
Starting point is 00:38:02 come the second cycle, October, November, December is a better video content, video podcasts, like a Frank five podcast, a video podcast in lieu of a live stream. That's going to be over 35 minutes. Well, here's a thing too. It's not just a video podcast, like like say we were doing the live stream podcast This is a polished produce. This is a production. There's some shit in it. That's so fucking funny. I Don't know how much you want to talk about it. Well, I mean, it's gonna be it
Starting point is 00:38:38 I think we can talk about it because I think people need to know that like we are going to up the Annie a little bit here. We're going to put some of the money that we got for the first cycle into the second cycle with production values. Just cool shit. We're investing in the production of these new things we're going to try of Frank five, it's called Frank five's rewind, right? Yeah. So what it's called. And it's a podcast video slash video cast about retro TV, unlike any video cast I think that's out there, trying some different things.
Starting point is 00:39:20 And you know, you may like it, you may not like it, but you know, we're definitely trying something different though. You'll at least be able to hear it and see it. And you know going green screen just doing shit that like I'm excited for. And I like videos be like a like video content behind us popping up it's like it's it's very it's pretty polished it's Chuck's doing all the Yeah, but I love involving Other members of the TSD universe and especially a guy like Frank five I think he's really fun to be around and he People seem to dig him and he came up with the concept of doing if he wanted to do a podcast on Retro TV. Yeah, a while ago. he brought it up to me and then I said why don't
Starting point is 00:40:07 we do a video cast and do some really cool shit in it. We're doing so that's going to be in lieu of a live stream. We're also doing some of virtual reality podcast where with the Baron Von Flanagan and you and Q are going to be characters in this virtual reality. I won't give too much away with it, but it's fucking awesome too. It looks really cool. It's 3D. It's pretty. I don't know if it's virtual reality in terms of like you could put goggles on. No, I think it's more like you would say like it's more like like toy story times. Yeah, that's what it is. And the concept I'm really excited about too because it's
Starting point is 00:40:51 just. It's Pixar level. It looks like it at times. At times I'm like, damn, this is so freaking cool that I'm like, I can't believe that we're able to do this. But because of these, because of the Patreon subscribers, we're over. Yeah, for the guy that I was talking to on Twitter that at first I was like, I went against my instincts and I answered them in a polite and calm way, and then he had more fucking problems. So I was like, asshole, you're not just paying for fucking podcasts.
Starting point is 00:41:20 It's like, we're putting a whole bunch of money back into like video and shit and And doing things that we wouldn't have been able to do because obviously the stuff's not free Right, so like now we can make more stuff that we want to make and People will again like I said people get more bang for their buck rather than just staring at us on a fucking screen Like a weird profile shot and shit I maybe we'll do maybe we'll do live streams here and there if we get a fucking lockdown, but you know, we will live streaming episode who knows. I know people dig that at, I think that they were excited.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Some people were not everybody, but some people were like, oh, I can interact with them. But that's very, very overrated interacting with us. Ask, ask the people who do. Ask anyone. Yeah. Ask a daily basis. They're like who do. That's getting one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Ask the daily basis. They're like, they're not really that great. Yeah. We've got, we're also doing this thing once a month called Enhanced TSD where we take one episode, we film it and we enhance it the first in October. It's going to be the Halloween episode. Film it.
Starting point is 00:42:24 Gonna add special effects to it, going to do it all up, it's going to be awesome. And that enhanced TSD is going to go to the $5 tier. So everybody's going to get a chance to see enhanced TSD in October. There's so much cool stuff coming down to pike, so many different things. And if you just, if you can't afford to do the higher levels to get those videos, still going to get your four weekly audio podcasts, you know, podcasts, Sunday Jeff shows and knocking it out of the park lately. We recorded one the other day. Sunday Jeff at a certain point, I thought, you know, stroke.
Starting point is 00:42:58 I read a cue card. That's what people love. They want to see that. I love the incompetence and that to that That level, that just, just on the verge of a stroke, that's where he's at his best. Yeah, like muttering, looking down, like making eye contact. I want to tell you about this, I want to break this here too. Tidbits. Tidbits has been, I think, the, the, the one podcast that has tried to find it's it's divisive somehow yeah it's the one it's the one pod that out of the three out of the four that seems to have found Bit been the most difficult to find a middle ground where people dig it but coming in coming next week I don't know how it's happening already, but it should have premiered in In in October with the rest of the October lineup, but it's gonna come next week.
Starting point is 00:43:47 Chris Ladondo, it has a little segment that he's been begging me to do. It's called May I Propose Arost. Oh, really? That's what he's gonna do. I know it's, his Ladondo it's either roasting or if fucking complaining about Trump shit or whatever, or complaining about Staten Island shit.
Starting point is 00:44:04 It's a very short segment. Like tidbits, I thought could be kind of like literally tidbits. And I think that I think this is a cool concept like well just throw anything goes on tidbits. We'll have still have clips of of me and Q doing but they will fill it out with tidbits of just stuff that like it has no real home but like people could still pick. I know Maxwell wanted to do something. I would like Maxwell to do something bring him back into the fold he's been going for too long. But I think you know he's gonna roast any number of people. It's only like a minute and 30 the second segment. I asked him to do more but you know I think he just wants to just start out with a minute 30. All right and it's wrong this segment. I asked him to do more, but I think he just wants to start out with a minute 30.
Starting point is 00:44:46 And it's a three month trial, like not try out, but he's signed him. He's signed for three months. He's signed for three months. He's a three month because he October, November, December. And if people dig it, if we get the good feedback from this, we could become a regular segment on tidbits. Who knows? To try to predict the public
Starting point is 00:45:08 and what they want is impossible because there was a complaint that like with tidbits, they're like, I just want little bits. I don't want like a whole other episode of you fucking idiots. I'm like, what? I thought they were like, yeah, then they're like, I don't want tidbits. I want longer snippets.
Starting point is 00:45:22 And I'm like, you don't know what to do. I'm going to try to, I mean, let's get the don to like you don't know what to do. I'm going to try to I mean let's get the don to Hello, what to do But I'm gonna try to do a thing that I want to do for a while But I didn't want to do it as its own thing But maybe if I do a real short segment of it I think what my girl is called father flanagan Okay, I'm gonna try it and I don't know if it's gonna go good I cuz I hate to be that guy that's like shoving it their kids down people's roads. I say it come back. I need you to talk about something. It's give some advice maybe
Starting point is 00:45:54 But I hate to be that person now that like my kids are awesome But kids are like my kids deserve they don't really deserve to be heard they don't know kid doesn't know but ice but I've gotten some feedback that people dig it. So I'm going to do like this. People really like the ads. 10 minute little thing called Father Flanagan. I know it's. That's why LaDondo is cut down in 90 seconds. My daughter's one, your daughter's going to bump them off to bits. But I'm like, I'm like, I don't want to be that guy, but like, I love the name. Because I like, I know there's nobody listening right now, baby Frank five, because he's so, but like, nobody gets the father-flanning in reference. He was like a 1940s priest who
Starting point is 00:46:36 like who founded Boyz Town. You're talking to the guy who does. Yeah. I'm like, oh my god, that's, that's awesome. What a great, what a great podcast name, you know, because it ties into that. I'm not sure. Nobody gets that, that it's father-f a great podcast name, you know, because it ties into that. I'm not sure. Nobody gets that, that it's Father Flanagan. Well, you're telling me people don't know what the fuck can Columbine is. It's Father Flanagan, no, I'm not.
Starting point is 00:46:54 But yeah, so we're gonna try that in the next two days. So we're gonna see, just, we're not gonna rest on our laurels. We're gonna provide like, some experimental content. You may love it. You may hate it. Maybe looping. And you can always, yeah, voice your opinion because we definitely want to know it's like if if you're not into certain things, is that, is this racist couple, where would we go to sign up though? Oh, sorry. If you're, if you haven't joined up or if you're thinking about canceling or dropping down,
Starting point is 00:47:27 obviously this was just to let people know that like we hope you hope you stick around or you hope you stay at your levels. If you can, if you can't, we understand that too. But there's some better stuff coming down the pike than the first cycle. And the first cycle was good, I thought. But there's better stuff coming
Starting point is 00:47:44 because we figured it out a little bit and we looked at the concept and we looked at the potential to do even more experimental content, I think. And that's what excites me just to try different things. And now we can. Is this real?
Starting point is 00:48:03 What do we got here? We got, let's see, I don't know, second here. BQ. Yo. How you doing, baby? All right. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Great. I'm awesome. Did you just get home? It just kind of just kind of. So about 15 minutes, you got 15 minutes ago. OK, so it was a good 3 and a half hours that you were. You sent us the pictures. You can't even see a scrape on this car.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Not, not I didn't. I took close, I took close up photos. You still can't see it. And you told what that this woman insisted on calling the cops, yet she didn't have car insurance What do the police say to what are the presay the situation like that? And I'm like, well, how much of a ticket is going to be one of the fucking bumper? But God. Yeah, that's an expensive ticket.
Starting point is 00:49:09 You can get your license revoked for that. Yeah, it was pretty good. I actually talked to them out of giving heart tickets. I was like, please, not do that. Please. I was like, she is a maniac. And they were good. He was like, dude, you know what you're lucky? You're lucky
Starting point is 00:49:26 to share all that car holding her neck. But I like, I barely move the car. He's like, it doesn't matter. It happens almost every single car accident. And then when they wrote up the accident report, they made sure to note that she was not injured. You like, just if she found out who you want, something she got back problems. Right. Oh, she didn't know she didn't recognize you. No, no, she didn't really have a firm grasp on English language. So I don't think she was all the truth. The Joker doesn't have a sap button. Maybe in real life.
Starting point is 00:50:03 That's that button on your on your remote where you hit the satellite and it goes into. Life Spanish. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I'm saying, but always I'm sure it does. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I know for football.
Starting point is 00:50:15 It does. Uh-huh. Sorry. Did you want to football players? You know, versions of us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she was just miserable, man.
Starting point is 00:50:24 She was just a miserable woman and I get it like you know There's a wrong like I Carp rain you bumper completely wrong and I got out of the car Walked up to a window. I was like I am so sorry I was like if there's any damage in the left that I will pay for it absolutely I was sent she would roll down the window. She's like she's giving dirty looks She said I'm calling the cop and I hear her on the phone and she's staring at me and she's like he's wearing He's got black hair like
Starting point is 00:51:02 Okay, she tried taking off I get yeah, but then you know what would be more useful than that is my license plate. I mean, she was just like, you're never going to be angry. And like, we went into the cops for almost two hours. The entire time, anytime she went to me, she gave me the dirtiest look. And again, I get it. I have inconvenienced you. I have damaged your car.
Starting point is 00:51:22 You know, put the damage wasn't that bad. And I was so nice off to that. And I don't convince you I have damaged your car. You know, but the damage wasn't that bad. And I was so nice off to that. And I don't know. I was just like, whatever lady, whatever. Hmm. I was asking Walt, like, what would have happened if you just left if you were like, look, here's my license, here's my information.
Starting point is 00:51:38 I'm not gonna fucking hang around here all day. I considered doing that, but then I was like, well, who am I gonna to trust with my life? And you know what I mean? That's true. Now she has all your personal information. Yeah. The cops came up and they were like, you, I was like, no, no, no, I was keeping on the
Starting point is 00:51:56 down low. And she was like, like, like, like, it was in the middle lane. lane and like, dude, her car didn't even fucking move when I touched it. Like, it's insane. So I, so I was in the middle lane and I stuck on my car. I'm like, we got to move over because it's rush hour in Brooklyn and there's only three lanes. I'm going to take in the middle one. She's like, I'm not moving my car. And I was like, I'm like, yeah, we got to move the car.
Starting point is 00:52:24 She's like, I want pictures before we move the car. I think lady, I'm not moving my car. And I was like, I'm like, yeah, we got a movie car. She's like, I want pictures before we move the car. I think, lady, I think I'm telling you, I'm admitting I did it. I was like, I'm telling you, pull over. It's going to be fine. The car's not going to care. Nobody's going to care. I didn't want to tell her I was a fireman that I did this a billion times. You know, people do that bullshit thing when they just leave their cars in the middle of the road. Yeah. And now, and now, I'm going to comment set up fucking forensic evidence on our husband. Fucking morons. And do I have a exceedingly polite to this fucking dope? And she was not nice to me. You know, again,
Starting point is 00:52:56 I was wrong. So she shouldn't have been, I guess, but there's wrong. And then there's like, come on, like this, if this hasn't happened to you in New York, a little tap on the bumper, it's pretty surprising. Happens every one at 10 point. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I know. It's such a weird thing because I'm 100% the wrong. But I'm still, I still feel like the aggrieved party.
Starting point is 00:53:23 Well, she's don't like how little does she have to do that she's like I'm willing to sit around for three hours to get this taken care of. Sorry, and it was a Toyota Camry and I got the new Wrangler with the steel bumpers on it. Yeah. And so like my car was like didn't even have a scuffle. Well, there's a silver lining to this Walt Mayward talking and he refuses to talk about sage getting your first period So me and you can talk about it on space monkeys Okay, I think I want to tell me about it now for a little bit. I'm settling in yeah Walt does want to hear it. He won't talk about death or periods on this episode
Starting point is 00:54:07 Yeah, I'm sorry. We had something really fun tonight, and that because of my clownish buffoonery, it's getting pushed the next week. I was bummed because I was really looking forward to it. Are you going to be available next week? Yeah, that's definitely a night next week on my belt. Awesome. I felt bad for you because I know the... I know what you must feel like when you're leaving
Starting point is 00:54:29 and you're like, fuck yeah man, I'm on my way home. Gonna fucking hang out with those guys. We'll do some Tom Steve Dave. Like, there's like, it's, and then it's like, ding! And the night's over for you. Yeah, it's fucked up. And the morning started out, finding out what I'm like. Cats had gotten out in the middle of night
Starting point is 00:54:46 And I and I saw him on a nest cam at 3 a.m So so I didn't know what the fuck he was and he's out you're not out to a cat He's ever been outside before he got no clause because the guy got him from the club So I'm like like they started crawling all over on the decks of my day. He's yod being like Chessy like thought a criminal over on the deck of my day to you all be like just me like a uh... talk about a banner day how did you get out i don't know i i don't know i i i suspect that uh...
Starting point is 00:55:16 uh... although i don't believe it on the body i suspect uh... someone left a house my sister she left a house and uh... that i believe he ran out there oh does he i think they try to get out uh... he does he had a foul on try to get out i don't know why you usually only goes out looks around for a couple of feet and then walks back into the door where i grab him and get him in the door but uh... he's
Starting point is 00:55:42 he was at the right you know what? At least you found him though. It's better than not finding him. Oh, yeah. Well, I was in a panic. Yeah, oh, I hear you, man. That would be horrifying.
Starting point is 00:55:54 I was very horrifying. Yeah, it was really bad, when I found him, I was so relieved. Yeah, that feeling of, yeah. I felt good here in my eyes. That happened. My dog ran away. Some workers, next door,
Starting point is 00:56:07 not even my own workers in my house. The next door neighbors had workers and they opened my gate by accident and we didn't know they opened my gate, we let the dog out. Dog was gone for like a half hour. I was going like so panicked and we finally found them. And that moment when you find them is just like,
Starting point is 00:56:25 you know, it's like you found a million dollars, it feels like. Yeah. But then you realize, wow, it's not really a million dollars, but it. Yeah, rather a million dollars. It's like a thousand dollars. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:39 You buy a lot of dollars with a million dollars. Q, do you have us? Do you have someone in your life, like let's say you're walking down the street and you trip and fall and you break both elbows? Oh, it is a good question, yeah. Do you have someone in your life that would come and wipe your ass for you?
Starting point is 00:56:54 Because it's gonna be a good, you know, it's gonna be some recovery period. Weeks. I do have someone that would do that, I believe, but I would say I Would just probably get a bidet get a bidet Well, but don't you have to operate it so you would let somebody operate your bidet for you? We have to get your pants down, do you know?
Starting point is 00:57:17 Yeah, your pants will solve it Yeah, right and that's someone I'm a that's someone I'm assuming to sell Yeah, right? And that's someone I'm assuming to sell. No, I think there are, I think there are people. I don't know it would be specific, but I would think that if I had to have someone like my ass, if somebody in my life that would do it, I would hope. If it's either of your parents, do you feel more ashamed than if it's like, rather just shit in my pants.
Starting point is 00:57:45 That's what I said. Yeah, I spent six months shit in my pants. So now is this is this person that you would go to? Is this person you would go to? Q. Is this a person that you would be intimate with before the accident? I don't have anybody in my life that I would be intimate with before the accident I Don't have anybody in my life that I would be intimate with anymore So no, I think it would be a non intimate
Starting point is 00:58:15 But you're married. Well, wouldn't you have your wife do you say no? Oh, yeah I guess my my wife would probably feel like it was her responsibility, you know for better or worse And this is definitely the worst I use that I probably said that earlier, but it applies. It's good. It's probably the worst right there. But I wonder if it would change the dynamic. I wonder if that would change a relationship. Would it be forever tainted? Oh, so the next time it would taint like, like, so like the next time, like, when I'm healed, pun. No, it's not a pun. So like the next time like when I'm healed and I'm risky.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Yeah, and I'm like, would it forever like alter how you look at somebody ever again? Like it's just so. So I'm not gonna fuck this invalid. Mother fuck it, don't even know what a bidet is. But days tough to operate though,
Starting point is 00:59:04 too broken. There's lots of stuff you can't get your pants down. You can't get your dick out. You can't. You can't wipe it. You can do all that. Yeah. Oh yeah. This is a true story. This happened to somebody I know. Yeah. It happened to somebody who Walt knows and he had said he has he had somebody in his life that could handle it. He had two people. Yes. His wife and his brother. No, his mother and his brother's mother's oh he was on the outs with his girl. Yeah That's the worst time. I'm gonna say that upon reflection. I don't think I do have anybody in my life Your mother would or that I would have to do it for me or you know what I mean? That you're still that's that you're still your mother's baby. You know she would
Starting point is 00:59:44 Yeah, but I wouldn't have her doing And is there a difference between a little tiny ass like a baby ass or a big man ass Yeah, you got me some days I have two burritos. I mean Well for her sake don't eat we don't go at one for God's sake Okay, your mom's like you have to eat two burritos or you know you can just eat one, right? I got fucking broken arms here. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:09 You can take all my joys away. How old are you, Q? I am 42. So 41 years ago, she was doing it. You don't think that you think it's really a big deal. At 41 years later, she's got to do it again. Probably the higher you. I didn't have hair. I didn't have hair.
Starting point is 01:00:28 Dimples. Like a seven inch cock. And you're just humans so if you become a rouse. It's you know it's in volunteer. It's a horror show. Yeah. Yeah, like your dad walks out your mom's way, but you're actually got an erection of two broken elbows. That one looks like dad. No, you can't even fight back. Is there a brother you can go to? Yo, man. I have two brothers.
Starting point is 01:01:08 No, they're not doing that. Why don't you ask? Why don't you ask a fucking nurse to do this? We just found out why, because the dude who pretended to have down syndrome was higher in nurses to wipe his ass, but really he didn't have down syndrome. You're not going to pretend you have downs, are you? No, I wouldn't have Down syndrome. Yeah, you're not gonna pretend you have Downs, are you? No, I would have the two broken Ones, wouldn't have you enough. But two broken Ones people are like, nah.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Don't do it, just like. Yeah, so that's what's going on. Well, Q, if it ever happens, you ever fucking, what was he doing again? He just slipped at work and he didn't get his arms down in time Was he like carrying something? I don't know, but I mean what a time for you to be on the out sweat your wife, right? Cuz you know she's like I am not coming back But do you but I don't know if it did you ever weigh in?
Starting point is 01:02:06 Do you think that my wife could ever look at me the same way or do you think that she, do you think we'd get it bring us closer? Uh, I think you guys are too young for it to bring you closer, because you still presumably having like a nice, long, healthy sex life ahead of you. I think when we start hitting our 70s and start with that wrong, we should diaper stuff like that. So we have to be accepted, I don't know, well, you're still pretty young.
Starting point is 01:02:31 You don't want that image in her head. No, I agree with you. Yeah, that would be pretty brutal. Debbie's like, when did you start eating burritos? You doing this shit on purpose, aren't you? No. to a little shit on purpose, weren't you? Oh, all right. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:50 All right, Kew. Well, you go relax, man. You need it, buddy. Oh, yeah. I'm going to buckle down and watch. Are we sunny? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I just finished last season.
Starting point is 01:03:04 Rewatch last season. So I could get him up just about to start this season And you said it's good. Yeah, okay All right, buddy. Thank you. See you, you later. Sorry You guys coming to have for you here. I don't know but next week no worries man. Talk to you soon. I love you guys. Bye. Bye That was nice. Got a little big Q in here, but didn't expect that. No. No. Thought it was gonna be two weeks without Q, but no. Just one week without Q last week. Just one week. People responded well to Joffrey and his fur can still be deep voice as well. That's nice though. You know that people gave him a shot in your arm. You know. That's a guy that needs a little support, emotional support from the ants.
Starting point is 01:03:49 Yeah, people are nice. People are very supportive of it. Like, I look at Twitter and I'm like, all these people are better than I am. Yeah, they are. But I mean, they don't let it bother you, you know. Oh, it doesn't. I feel like they're holding it over me. Oh, how long we've been going?
Starting point is 01:04:04 We got one more hit and you're in there. Our nine minutes. All right. So, oh, we're talking Casper. As always, the one of the most faithful sponsors of the Tom Steve Dave show is Casper. Hold on, let me put your... God damn it.
Starting point is 01:04:20 What'd you do? No, it's asking for a network. Casper, come on. You want to lay on a Casper mattress because it's all nice Casper is a sleep brand expertly does it wait Casper is a sleep brand that expertly designed products to help you on your Jesus, I can't see it because it's like okay, I'll be here. I'll go lands landscape. Wow. I got to go landscape because it's All right, I'll start landscape. Wow. I got to go landscape because it's, this is sad. All right, I'll start over again, Casper. This is, this is the CU struggle.
Starting point is 01:04:49 Because it's like, it was in portrait, so I can totally have the fucking thing. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. Now, we are doing two ads tonight where we can truthfully say we have the products,'ve purchased the pot products at full price. Yeah, the the the luggage and the Casper's and I say with Multiple Casper's I own all Casper's in my house and I will never go back to anything but a Casper
Starting point is 01:05:19 It's that and I've had people email me like are you screwing around because I'm gonna buy this Casper and I'm like I'm not screwing around. It's that good. Now, Stern used to read like commercials that I'm like, there's no fucking way he believes in this shit. And we turned down stuff. Oh yeah. All the time, because we're like,
Starting point is 01:05:35 yeah, that's not something we were. Let's, yeah, let's, let's do it our own a little bit here. I mean, we turn down multiple things to push because we don't believe in it vaping vaping stuff They're like porn stuff, right like and I'm not talking out. I'm gonna talk like hardcore porn like weird hardcore porn stuff that we're like Yeah, that's not really us. Now I heard the vaping has become a nepotemic. I heard amongst young people Yeah, probably because it's easier to get now to talk talking about vaping cigarette, because that's what this was.
Starting point is 01:06:06 It was cigarette tobacco. Can you evape anything now? You can if you can get the, the, the weed cartridges, but they're, they're not, if you're not in a state that it's legal, like, a California or Washington or whatever, or Colorado, it's not easy to get. And they're expensive. And I'm not saying, I'm not like, I'm, I'm just saying that for us, I think it would be disingenuous for us to be pushing.
Starting point is 01:06:27 None of us vapes. Vapes. It's just, I'm not condemning the industry, but I don't think it's healthy for young kids. You want a big vape coming after you. No, I don't think it's healthy for anyone. But young kids, man, they're like, that's the greatest thing and the worst thing about being young is that sense of immortality. We're like, you do? Yeah, I can tell. It's like the way you're fucking,
Starting point is 01:06:48 you won't even acknowledge, Jeff, you're like, what's that? I do, I do not, I still have that that feeling of immortality. I look at other people and I'm like, oh, no, that's not going to happen to me. I know it's ridiculous to think that way, but I try to keep that mindset of thinking that it's not possible that these things will eventually become my fate as well. Well, it is fucking weird, right? When you look at it, I'm not going to let it happen. You won't age. I don't mean, I'm talking about health wise age. I could see I could see that you know I look in the mirror you could see that but like I'm not gonna allow myself to feel an acre pain. I'm just not ignore it I mean like just little stuff like that. I mean you can only do so much
Starting point is 01:07:36 Hey, Jopper is like oh is that the secret? Yeah, I really do so much you can't but like I Know that eventually I'm going like it will power will will won't be enough But for now I'm not going to I'm gonna just Go with it ain't happening to me Yeah, why not man? Casper. Yeah, Casper. Well Casper's gonna help fucking keep your bones feeling good and should back feel good your neck right? Yeah it's designed for by humans for humans.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves, providing supportive comfort for all kinds of bodies. It's been one third of your life's sleeping so you should be comfortable. The original Casper mattress combines multiple supportive foams for a quality sleep surface with the right amounts of both sink and bounce 200,000 reviews and an average of 4.8 stars across Across Casper Amazon and Google that's about about averaging close to TSD amount of stars and iTunes Casper is keep reaching guys. You can you maybe someday you'll do probably not probably not yeah go do a go do a if you haven't already go Go leave a review of a five star or four star
Starting point is 01:08:51 I don't know what it is on iTunes, but if you feel it's worth if you feel worthy of it If not then don't leave a little boost again. Yeah, but yeah, if you're not gonna get five stars fuck off But if you feel like you have a given review yet now also there's another thing that's been coming down the pike I'm getting a lot of emails about our episodes disappearing. I Address that today with our webmaster That I want to host it on our site so people never have to worry about fucking iTunes or SoundCloud Or wherever the fuck these podcasts are held and then like because people are like Oh, I'm like ripping through them. I like and then suddenly 150 to 170s miss and I see people are like
Starting point is 01:09:30 They're sending emails are like oh, um, you broke your promise you put your episode your free episodes behind a paywall And I'm like what are they talking about right? We have we have done nothing to the free episodes if they disappear It's not because we did anything. There's I don't know why they did. Well, iTunes or their podcast stuff, it's like, it's all hosted for free by them. So they're, it's not a priority for them to make sure that all those episodes are up there all the time. So there's a glitch or something. I don't know. We don't know. Yeah, but we're not, but we haven't removed them. And if they're removed, it's by not by our hands. Yeah, I'm eating with somebody tomorrow to talk about putting them on our site. So they'll all be there. Smodfan also
Starting point is 01:10:10 is like if you have a flash drive and you send it to him, he'll put the curator all the curator. Yeah, the historian or he's got like 10 different names. No, just curator. Just a curator now. He's like Air Jordan. That's like the curator. You know who it is. I don't want to ever hear him call it smod fan again Okay, it's curator. All right curator. Sorry Curator is If he's sitting curator flash drive he will put the episodes on for you and he's smod fan on Twitter I don't know why he's not at curator yet Soon I hope you know, I haven't seen it around on the internet in a while. Is the Fitzman still there?
Starting point is 01:10:46 Fitzman's still there. I see him from time to time. Yeah. He used to get a lot more mentions. He's been, he's went quiet though. I mean, I don't know what happened to him. Curator's getting a lot more love from Tom Steve Dave. He's getting a love that Fitzman used to get. Yeah, curator is the new Fitzman.
Starting point is 01:11:00 And you know, also like I who gave me the IPAD, Rich, IPAD Rich, he went dark man. He went silent I haven't heard from him in so long. Hmm. I wonder if he still listens to sad to think that I Well, I wouldn't he sound like a young guy when I when I was dealing with him, but If he's if he's still out there, I want to know I would hope that he's still listening But it would be sad to like you I don't know that I pay his like second gen listening but it would be sad to like he's like second gen you know to think that he thought he liked tell him Steve Dave so much that he
Starting point is 01:11:28 sent me an iPad and now he doesn't listen anymore that would bump me out I hope that like the if that's the case where he's like yeah I just don't like it anymore because that happened to me with Stern like I tried to listen to Stern the other day I was like oh my god this fucking guy with his PC shit, like, this is a guy who like totally wants to rewrite his history and the shit that he did, like the jokes and the sexism and all this other stuff. Like this is a guy who in the 80s had like people throwing below me and like cold cuss to stick it on
Starting point is 01:11:59 like women's asses, like strippers, asses and stuff. And I'm not trying to pretend I'm all woken shit because I'm not, but that kind of. And I'm not trying to pretend I'm all woken shit because I'm not. But that kind of stuff I never thought I'm not just a cashier. Okay, so anything out there. I don't know who's who the fuck is thinking who's who's on the fence? Like is he woke maybe? I can't tell. Okay, so all right, that's been that's been decided and clarified. I'm not woke. But I never thought that shit was funny. I'm like I don't get it like throwing cold cuts. I never understand you were a big stern fan but I never thought that shit was funny. I'm like, I don't get it like throwing cold cuts that were in the house.
Starting point is 01:12:26 I never understand. You were a big Stern fan. I never was a Stern fan. I never got it. I would listen to it and I would give it solid like chances. I'd be like, I'm really gonna give it a chance. And he was on E. I would watch that E show too. And I would be like, I don't get it.
Starting point is 01:12:42 I don't think he's not funny. There's some funny, actually, I don't think he's the funniest one on the show. I think Fred is funnier than he is. I think Richard or Sal are funnier than he is. Fred's still around. Yep, still around, yeah. I think Fred's probably the funniest one on the show
Starting point is 01:12:54 and then Sal and Richard are a close second and third. But I tried to listen to Stern and it's like, he's doing this like, because Les Moonvess, hey, what's up, you're back, huh? Less moon vest. I know, seven. What's up? I was a tape.
Starting point is 01:13:10 I told him to keep telling him what's the end of it. All right, come on, finish that, and we get out of here. I know, we get out of here. Wow, holy crap. It's time for me to go. The, okay, tell him, talk about Casper a little bit more.
Starting point is 01:13:23 They offer two other mattresses, the wave and the essential, the wave is a patent pending premium support system, to mirror the natural shape of your body, affordable prices, hassle free returns delivered right to your door, and a small, how do they do that box? And free shipping and returns at US and Canada.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Now, here is the required stuff. You can be sure of your purchases, sorry, You can be sure of your purchases. Sorry, you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 night, risk-free sleep on a trial. Host must address a minimum of five bullet points found in the chart above, which we did. You did five. We did the personal, yeah, at least.
Starting point is 01:14:00 We did the personal experience in the very beginning. I own one terms and conditions apply. Terms and conditions apply. Get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting Casper.com slash TESD and using promo code TESD. Check out terms and conditions apply. Repeat offer unique. Okay, so repeat that. Get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting Casper.com slash TESD and using promo code TESD. Check out terms and conditions apply and God damn it they're constantly like do
Starting point is 01:14:29 not address the following under any circumstances. Okay, I won't, I won't, I won't. And there's your phone back. So I guess that's it. That is it. Sage I do want to bring something up to you really quickly though. Do you know who Beyonce is? You know that singer you listen to sometimes Beyonce? Her ex-drummer accused her of extreme witchcraft. What do you think about that? Somebody who's a singer and a witch. How? Me? Yeah. Beyonce. They said that her former drummer requested a restraining order because she practices extreme witchcraft and she's been using her magic to run surveillance and control the woman's finances.
Starting point is 01:15:09 I mean, come on. She's got to be using black, not only in that way, but just kind of a using magic to use to be that popular because that come on. Nobody could know black magic. Nobody is that popular the way that she is without using some sorcery Yeah, you got to have some some magical stuff some focus focus a little abracadabra going on sage. What do you think of that? Do it did they all right? I know I just made loud all the words But I've been blessed with more than you've been
Starting point is 01:15:55 And you can even talk to the change or I still have one stone, one stone Why do I want it? I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, I assume, assume, I assume, assume, I assume, assume, I assume, I assume, I'm gonna train their fate Two shows are right there, they're making for a jade They're making for a jade I don't wanna reach us all the side-lines Look at our castle, the stone Peace is always but I'll strive for it And I'll be growing along this cartoon against the wind
Starting point is 01:16:50 I'll steal a question, what gun, why do I want answer? I'll burn his voice once we meet So make it recognize that we won't take it no more We keep on trying and trying and the same thing will get The same as old sands for fun Not gonna do it, but not gonna trade their things Two children have been forced to act They forced to act
Starting point is 01:17:18 My life's a bigots, my life's bigots My God, I think I'm gonna win No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no This has been the production of Smodco Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com.

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