Tell Em Steve-Dave - #392: King Dong

Episode Date: October 29, 2018

Bry, Q and a drugged up Walt discuss the urine black market, Broadway plays and nude aquatic adventurers. Walt takes a wrong turn in the Big City. Music: 4 Colors 4 Life - TESD Rap

I'm gonna have to slow down my finger banging. Stay in your lane, literally at a forerunnerly. Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave. It's healthy, Brian here with a couple of confirmed motherfuckers. If you remember last week, I was being told that I'm always sick, a picture of health today and Q. You got a broken wing. Yeah. What is the world you're in? I don't know.. I told you when he came in but I couldn't understand what happened. The exact word is called tenio when I just or some shit like that.

It's basically like your tenons go through like these sheets. These like round sheets. Like a sheet kick? No, a sheet. So I like a sheet. Okay. And mine, I like a sheet cake. No she's and mine she is inflamed and infected so they had to shoot it with some cortisone not cortisone but a steroid and I have to I have to write it right yeah so how do you think that happened?

It's it's just wear and tear on the body overuse overuse out of fire department injury there Apparently having pets only small pets is that increases you getting it because when you we stroke them when you pick up A cat or dog or something like the way he described is like if you had like a sack of sugar and you picked it up You're just picking it up. It's not moving, if you picking up, say cats fairly often, their weight is never stable, they're always like moving and stuff like that and that jigger is your thumb and if you do that enough over time.

Really? Yeah. I think that sounds way lemur, a way to get your like, get them's excuse for getting his put his hands from the finger. Yeah, the only problem is mine's real. I can come up with something if you want. You should have said

that you were you, you got it from finger bang until I was. Why? Who am I trying to press? I just spoke about making models. No one gives shit what I do. Like when you were a kid and present day, you'll come back to it. I just want anything that'll make me feel not this way. Yeah, please. If the doctor had said to you, like, you're up on the heapy, like, right, I got your test results back and...

No more miles. I'm gonna check your ass again. No, this is three times. I was like, I thought we found out what's wrong and what causes it. And he said, like, have you been dittlin' a little bit more than usual? Oh, like, let me clear up on this medical jargon. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, I would be you know, pretty shocked that get him had nailed that one I'd be like that's I did not see that coming I'm gonna have to slow down my finger banging

I don't want to Lefty that that would say you can always go left. Oh, yeah, there might be something to that But it doesn't have the same could you and then I got to fucking Her name like lobster boy I can hurt him. I'm gonna have to like lobster boy. Shit. That you could fall off the moves with the same satisfaction level with the lefty. Oh, I'm not at all confident that I pull it off at any satisfaction level now.

Both girls are like, I thought he was. You feel the chef, and he's giving me a lot of credit from my right hand. I think the same disinterested look What would it change the show in practical jokers if they're like you got an infection. It's pretty bad We're gonna have to remove your arm from the elbow down No, it doesn't that'd be funny Like think about that funny we can make it Yeah, like suddenly like you know, I'm like I got also the arm pranks I can do right I'm taking your arm off Yeah, I think it would I mean I wouldn't mind losing my left instead of my right

But I think for the creatively for the show would be cool Yeah, like how people that's a fetish for some people like that amputee I need any more fucking reasons for fucking chicks. Oh like surrounding them now I need any more fucking reasons for fucking chicks. Oh, likes rounding them? No, no, no. Like, no. Yet, well, do you lose any of the normies to the fetish chicks who are like, oh, they want that stump.

They need that stump. That's the started stump? Yeah. Well, no, no. Oh, hell no, yeah. Oh, the remaining stump. Yeah, let me get some of that medical waste over here. Can I get some of that medical waste over here?

I mean short of like Harvey Dent Disfigurement, I don't think and like he could lose he could be all stumps and they'd still be one He could be like over his remaining, you know He could be like Johnny got his gun just laying there Like he's still hotter than still hotter than the other two. Just a straw in my mouth. I can still podcast. Everything would be fine.

And while Flanagan apologizes if he sounds loopy, I understand he took a generic aspirin today. CVS brand, Admin. Where we recorded, yeah, I took my drugs. My first aspirin in over a year, probably almost probably two years. I got a wicked, wicked pain in my shoulder blade, like a cold in my shoulder blade. Yeah, can't turn my neck. I can't. I didn't know that was a real thing.

Cold in your muscle. Yeah. It's like it's like a kink in my shoulder blade and it is an island Right now it's feeling pretty good for not fucking That illicit drug I took from you Yeah, I gave him a pill This is out of an unmarked bottle CBS under or what's the other place drug fair? I don't know. It's a generic aspirin But yeah, I'm feeling better now. I figured I'd suck it up for the podcast and you got to. You got to soldier through.

Yeah, for the take the aspirin and carry on. Something else, man. I went to a con this weekend in Syracuse. I just, I want to apologize to my to my manager. Remember I shit on her. She was so attentive in this con that she really like won my heart. Oh yeah, the way I walked it and it was it was look like it was in an airplane haggard. Now this is a really nice guy. The dude who set up the con and he was sort of forced into this this space, but it was imagine throwing a con and then having 10 times the space you need for that con and it's open and all the doors are open, so it's fucking freezing in there because it's in Syracuse in New York. And it's basically a table sitting in the

middle of a room with no signage at all, so no one even knows you're there. I was like, what is this? The woman doesn't give a fuck at all. Not at all. How'd she know the setup to have a chat with you. She should ask. She should ask, what's the setup? Are you guys in an airplane hangar? What's the venue?

Well, they would ask what venue is it in? You can ask that. And would you have knock on them? I would have been like, what's that? I mean, the guarantee though, I mean, you would have went. We had a guarantee, no, I'm just saying that for her, she should make it so that, we should at least have a sign or we should, we also like, we should have had a guarantee. No, I'm just saying that for her she should make it so that like we should at least have a sign

Or we should we also like oh you mean like a volunteer I thought this is what Ming brings his own banner Ming didn't go though. Ming was in Mississippi I'm like this never know his own banner He has a banner, but even if we had it there was no wall to hang it on This is a flea market these yes, or a comic theme like a comic themed flea market. These are a comic themed, a flea market theme. I was gonna go through this con. Instead you, I didn't go, but like, it's a great way, motherfucker,

that I make the right thing. What'd you go see? Oh, I went to a theater. Did you see King Kong? I did. How was it? Remember how I raved the best Spider-Man throughout the dark?

Yeah. It clipped Spider-Man, turned off the dark. Oh, Murray saw it, he said it was excellent it was well there are any more quan's con stories before we get to con stories yeah the con stories are going to be better it actually was it got it got it was pretty boring there were not that many people here the people that came to the team not big turn out all ants who who came in yeah and so it boring, there were not that many people there.

And this guy came in. We only won Deito. Yeah, but still, it doesn't mean it's not boring just because it's only one day. I mean, three days would have been like, I don't know if I would have stayed. I would have been like fuck this, no way. It just, you'd left that money on the table.

I think so, there was just nothing to do. And we didn't get a panel, so like that's's the one part I look forward to is the panel. But there was a guy sitting nearby, and he came over and introduced himself. Because Sage came and Mary Beth came and Sage dressed as Ladybug and Mary Beth dressed as Cat and War. What's that thought? TV, like a cartoon, like a 3D sort of animation show on Netflix.

But Sage likes, and he came over, he's an older guy. Had one of those spider-man Hawaiian shirts on. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And a cowboy hat and stuff. He was an older dude. And he said, he was like, hey, he's like, are you black cat? And she said, no. And he's like, oh, because I've done pin-ups of black cat. I guess he's an artist.

His name is, maybe you recognize Charles Barnett III? No. Yeah, that doesn't mean that you're a jerk. That doesn't jog my anything right now. That doesn't mean that he's, you know, doesn't mean anything but that particular name I don't recognize. Um, so we were like, cool.

And then he walked back to his table. What arrow are we talking about? I don't know. I mean, I can look him up to see if he's online. I'm sure he is somewhere. But so he walks away. But that did get my attention. Because since I'm bored, I'm like, all right, well,

let's fuck with Charles Barnett, the third. Let's see, In'm like all right. Well, let's fuck with Charles Barnett the third Let's see ink her extraordinary. Okay, so he's an ink her Yeah, he's this how He's always see this will come up. That's exactly what he looks like in fact that picture could have been taken at the con Let's see That. That's him. Come on, I always have a fee for. He's waiting for the IPA and frustration to start. So yeah, that's him. Not at all. No, I know. I said he's an older guy. He's not like in his 20s. There's a black character from the 40s. I thought possibly he was a 90-year-old.

Oh, no. I thought a picture. I have not too many pictures of his stuff. He's getting a lot of miles. He's got that straw hat. He loves the straw hat. But a couple 13%ers came over and I said, I said, have you been over to Charles Barnett, the third stable? And she's like, no, why? I said said because I'm gonna keep it cool like not saying anything but he buys women's urine samples. I was like he's buying them right now. She's like what? She knew I was fucking around but then for whatever reason. Oh, it was fun. It's a new phone. Oh yeah. Yeah. For whatever reason. I know the August the old phone just scrapped out on us. Wow, it talks. First poll came in today.

Yeah, so the show got canceled. It's fucking like. Yeah, people like they don't know yes. Yeah, they don't go ring no more. You got to you got to figure out a scheme to get this back on the public eye this place. Yeah. That happened to Shane Black, man. Shane Black was all the rage in the 90s and then people stopped giving a fuck about him back now though. I was back Also anyway, so for some reason she goes over and

Tells him what I said the 13% her Oh, I said it too she goes over and I can see like she goes over and I was like holy shit I think she's telling which wasn't the intended it wasn't intended you just want to be able to I just want to lock him behind his back. Yeah, you know we forgot He's knowing You know he's basically a problem So I see his face totally change not like from like it isn't left it drops. There's like what? Shock total shock repulse and then he lay like backs up a little and then he

like he looks over at us and I'm watching and then he looks back at them and then he looks back at me and Mike and he points and she's like not I'd ask would it be better it would it be awesome if like he put a jar and gave her 50 bucks. He should. Yeah. But that would be awesome. Charles Barnett, the third totally dropped the ball. Yeah, he should. He should be like, yeah, you should have joined in my reindeer games. Um, so he'd never confronted me though, but I did pass him at another point and, uh, like at some point in the day. And he gave me the most, the chilliest nod. The chilliest nod ever, yeah, I'm sure he was,

like he's like, who, who? I can't, I don't know, who's that? He doesn't have a sign, I don't know. He's a guy sitting in the middle of a room at a table. But that's the rest of the day just became the tales of Charles Barnett III. We did a podcast with these guys, GeekPod, and we talked a lot about Charles Barnett III. We did a podcast with these guys GeekPod and we talked a lot about Charles Barnett III. And at the end, the guy was like sat-a-fair. It was

three guys sitting in this room with, like, you know, there were two chairs facing each other, but, like, probably a row of 10 or 12. You've done that for IJ, right? It fits on speed dating. Yeah, it's really the turkey leg. Second thing we have a shot for the show was speed game. Oh, yeah It was um it were it was three guys And no girls one girl peaked in cuz I was watching one girl peaked in and then it's like I walked out And I was like I couldn't tell if I should, I couldn't tell I should feel bad for them,

because the guys, because how lonely and desperate do you have to be, it's not near Comic-Con, it's not San Diego, it's this little Syracuse Con where hardly anybody went and it's an airplane hangar and it's a separate room and it's three guys. It starts at 330 then it's 335 and it's 340 and it's 345 and no girls have come in except for one who's like, oh, I was looking for the bathroom or whatever excuse you used to get the fuck out of there. Like that's a lonely existence, right? Yeah, man. I was laughing so hard.

No, no, no, I'm just kidding. But I was like, wow, I couldn't be that lonely. I couldn't, there's, I don't think. What do you mean you couldn't, well, what would you do? What would you do to change it though? I would just be like, if I'm that lonely, it still doesn't propel me to like, maybe I'll try to be dating here.

Oh, you know, it's just not something I would do. I don't think I would do. I don't think I would go online to date like a dating app. I don't think it would, I don't think I could do it. I couldn't take the, I just couldn't take like the swiping thing. Yeah, I couldn't take it. I swiped somebody and they don't swipe me back. The only one that sounds good is that that bumble one where guys can't reach out to women.

It's where women can only reach out to guys. So you only hear from girls if they see your shit and it's like, oh, that looks interesting. And they reach out to you. So the only way you know you're being rejected is if nobody contacts you. Or if the contacts you get are so unsightly, you're like, God nobody contact me. Yeah, or if the contacts you get or so on site We're like God has rejected me. Yeah I miss be gotten thinking that I am Yeah, how is Kong though? Yeah, I heard I've only heard good things so far. I heard the monkeys impressive

I mean if if there was a better word from impressive. I'd use it, but I can't think of it right now, but Do you have a couple months ago? I called you for directions to get into New York City. Out of the blue, I just called you. I said I was taking my daughter off the bar. Yeah, I do kind of. Thank you, oh my, my water is telephone. I wonder how to get to the big city. I can say it.

Yeah. I know I can't get there. I'm so sorry. Hey, well, that was because I was so frustrated with my GPS that like I would I put fuck you time time I put addresses into my GPS yeah, and like I get three matches Mm-hmm. I don't know which one to pick you use them a car one. Yeah, you know, you phone one. I don't use the phone one Mm-hmm. And isn't your daughter like just to use ways? Well, she's, and she's got her earbuds in, she's in the back. I know.

I know. I'm just going to fall like two or three. Yeah. All the way up to Canada. And she's like, she's like, zoned out. She doesn't know. So I say to my wife, I was like, all right, you're going to put the address in. Even though I know it's kind of right at a Lincoln tunnel.

You know, like Broadway, right? Yeah. Um, things drop shut. I'm 36. So it's real close, right? 40 seconds, where it is in. And so I say, just put it in, put the address as a theater in,

and just in case we need it. So she puts it in, and I see it at a corner right, it says, it says two addresses though. It says New York, she puts a theater address in. Yeah. Broadway, I think this theater was 106 or something and she puts it in. There's two matches and she hits the top one and we figure out the top one to gotta be the most popular match. So we put it in and we're driving up and it

says to get off and take the Holland tunnel. Okay. What to leave out of the Holland tunnel? It says the note to leave out of the Holland tunnel. It says the notes. Well, we're driving up as we're driving up the turn bike. It's just take the Holland tunnel, which is all the way downtown by canal. Yeah, your New Yorker native. I don't even know what that means. Basically, 30 blocks away is opposed to four blocks away.

But they could be rerouting because there's traffic. Right. So I told my wife and she's like, wow, it's telling you to get off the Holland tunnel to get on the Holland tunnel, go through the tunnel. The Holland Holland and I'm like and I must know what it's talking about I said I mean it's probably a quicker way I said So we're driving and it's taking us all these ways we're going through like places that I've never seen in in New York Just driving and driving and driving and it says okay you have will you will arrive? Yeah, your destination and like on the on Manhattan Island

We were in my my daughter told me that she from where she was doing her on her phone that we were in the in the Bronx. What the Bronx that made you went through through Manhattan, then through a tunnel into Yeah, I can wear a bridge. I mean, it is like, and there's like construction even on the Saturday and there's like every lane I'm in, uh, it gets closed or somebody. why do people in the city just the why do they just park on the side of the road they like like oh like it's nothing yeah I don't think they got no choice what are you gonna do well why is it allowed to why don't

why don't you get tickets they get tickets to get some more than ticket those people who do that they need to put them in jail for a night or something they won't do it no more than. Yeah. Right? Just a night. Just a night in jail, McClink, I think, would really stop the people from double parking and causing the massive clogs of.

Because sometimes it's just for the most time. It's just for their convenience. Yes. Because they're just like it just can be. Yeah, but in suitcases, or they're taking a stroller out of the back. And I'm a car is whipping by me. And I can't do anything but just have to sit there and were taking a stroller out of the back. And I got cars whipping by me and I can't do anything, but just have to sit there and wait for their stroller.

Or get daring and start lane changing. And I'm just gonna throw the balls. My hand, evil. That is all impressed that shit. No, she's like, do not change a lane. She's like, she's terrible. Lane changing isn't for you. Stay in your lane, Literally it. Before.

So we find out that we're in the Bronx. And I say, oh, we must have picked the wrong, which is also odd because if you went through the Holland tunnel, the Bronx is also way up north. Yeah, we've were driving forever before finally they said that we had hit. We're on a Broadway. Yeah. We're definitely on a Broadway. So there's two Broadway in New York. Well, there's a there's West Broadway and little Broadway. That does just too. I know of who's. But apparently there's a Broadway that's six miles from the Broadway I want to be on in a neighborhood that I do not want to be in. Yeah. So that or I have to bat was like that was a really annoying that I do not want to be in. Yeah. Yeah.

So that, or I have to bet, was like that was a really annoying that I had to like then maneuver back over. And like, you just to go like a block is, is it's where I do it? You know, I do it every day. I know how you could live in that environment. You just learn to drive that style. so you can get where you're going. But knowing that you're like, okay, I really only have to, if there was no lights or traffic,

I literally would take me five minutes, but it takes me an hour now. I know, but to do that, you'd not be living in New York City, you know what I kind of love. All right, so, um, so King Kong. So King Kong, we finally get to the theater and it's decorated the outside of theater. It's definitely they're going, they're doing the 1930s King Kong. Oh great. They're doing the, um, is it set in the 30s? Yes. Okay. It's definitely, well, you know, they don't really, from all the wardrobe and the backdrops, it's definitely set in the 30s.

So they never really say, give a firm date where we're at, but it's definitely not 30s though, from when I've pieced together. Now, do you consider King Kong one of the greatest, like the top 10 story or movie or, you know, just one of the American classics. Yeah, I don't know what number I'd give it, but I'd say it's up to you. It's King Kong. I like how you're pressuring him, kind of pressuring him into saying yes. No, I mean, I was obsessed with it when I was a kid and surely you won't deny. I was obsessed with King Kong when I was a kid, yeah. Because of the black white winner the 76 one the 76 came later because that was when you climb the twin towers and I was so that was weird But it was the the black and white original one TV. Yeah, I watched a lot. I loved it

Thanks, good. Yeah, I loved it and then the 76 version with twin towers That was a little that was even though the movie's not good Really I haven't seen it in over 10 years so so I should I go back I should watch that movie is it boring is how I feel I feel so bad for King Kong at the end in the street like it's so terrible you don't mean that's what they did in the 30s one is that he was a real monster yeah 30s one I mean he's eating people. He's ripping people apart. Yeah, there's no love for Feyray and King Kong. Oh, my fucking god. Where is the fucking receiver?

It's how you get smashed again. But in this in this King Kong and every and every subsequent King Kong. Yeah. They've kind of played up the Feyray female angle. Did you like Peter Jackson's? Once King Kong was introduced, yes, but that was torturous before Kong was introduced. That felt like a trolling. That felt like an absolute trolling. how much Panning can I fucking put this move? What the fuck is this fucking monkey? Yeah, did you see venom? I didn't see venom dude and I had the same thing I was like why is it the movie is called venom right? I was like because we're about 40 minutes in it This fucking thing hasn't showed up yet. It was all Tom's hearties like relationship and like breaking up with his girl and shit. I was like, what the fuck am I watching?

So overall, what would you give? Was it a good movie or no? It was not, no. It wasn't a good movie. It's an interesting movie because it's the tone of it is so fucking weird, dude. It's at times like a mad cap, Benny Hill type comedy, like real over the top cartoonish antics in the name of comedy.

And then when when Venom and Eddie start speaking to each other, it's almost exclusively played for laughs. Why did you expect that? I did. I was like, what is going on? Venom was great. Anything with him fighting and eating people was cool. But, uh... I paid a ton of money, I heard.

Fuck yeah. Um, but it was so bizarre to see the relationship between Venom and him be what it was. And for Tom Hardy to have played it so goofy, was not what I expected. I just can't get motivated to go see it, although I've heard of people saying it's interesting enough to go watch. I would say that's something. It's an interesting movie. I would watch it at 1.5.

Anyway, sorry. King Kong. Oh yeah, but ever since the Feyray, the Feyray part, they've played the female as having feelings for Kong. Almost every movie since then has hasn't taken the like, or Feyray was terrified and didn't want no part of Kong. Every that character now is morphed into like where she cares from. And this one was the same kind of deal where she felt the the favorite character felt a bond with Kong. But when that Kong comes on, and it was about almost 25 minutes before you see Kong, but

when you see him and when he roars and you can feel it in your chest, that's unlike anything you'll see. You could feel the rumble and you can feel it in your legs because it's so loud all the speakers and everything. And they have this effect where Kong runs. So it's like these guys are like who are manipulating his digits, his legs and his arms and the background goes to like light speed, the like in the Millennium Fowler. So the trees and everything are going are rushing but he's not really moving. But when you're looking at it, it gives the illusion like he's really good. Sure, right. So well done. You do have to suspend your imagination comes in the play here but there's a sequence

where he fights a serpent like a giant serpent. Oh yeah. It's awesome. I got to see it. So, James, a movie was it like term? Yes, but what they do is you know, like addressing more women like in the parties, we get dressed behind the screen. Oh, that screen thing. You can see the silhouette. Yeah. So he's, he, he, at a certain point, he brings the Kong and the serpent fall behind the screen. And you just see a silhouette of Kong which i guess is animated it's not really the puppet doing it anymore and he grabs the serpent and he rips it and the screen splatters. Oh wow! That's cool! Like, they needed to, like, two more fight scenes between big monsters and maybe some, like, maybe about 10 less songs. Yeah. And it would have been like

it like now is a nine. Okay. Just like in the e. That's what that's what maybe. What night did you go? I went Saturday afternoon and the first night was Friday. That's when Mary went Friday. Yeah. What he's in the com too. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about it for it open. We're like oh, wow, it looks good Yeah, I would definitely recommend to you It's anybody I don't know how long it's gonna last. I mean just a lot of snobs in theater I know that fucking groundhog day musical should have been one of the biggest hits ever It was so fucking good people won't see they won't give it a they won't be serious about it because yes

They'll keep it as a novelty because like It's kinkong where there are a lot of people there. You know why they hate it though. Um, because producers won't take risks anymore really. They will do King Kong. They will do mean girls. They will do all these things. You don't think King Kong's a risk? I think it's less of a risk than just a fucking play about you don't know what, you don't know who. Yeah, but I mean, you're talking about that, it could be really, really goofy if it's not done right though, right?

Well, sure, but the name recognition, is what they care about, more than anything. Yeah, yeah, but I would definitely, I don't know what I'd say to that. I'm not a theater expert, but I can see like people getting down on it Yeah, I'm gonna have a long life show see I Will I'll see you next few weeks I

Beetle juice is coming abroad. Why next next spring. Yeah, I'm excited about that. I love that shit I can't remember the last time. Oh, no, I can't remember last. I mean you know, yeah, I want to go see Larry David one. Yeah Oh no, I kind of remember last year. I mean, yeah. I went to go see Larry David one. Yeah. I think I'm probably, no. No, no. How could that close?

He didn't want to do it anymore. No. Yeah, he just wanted to do it for a little while. And then Jason Alessandra took it over from him and then it closed. But yeah, that was really funny. I got to take a seat at the Harry Potter one in December. Oh, it's already.

It's, it's, it was, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, that's got to be like high-end. It's two parts. You have to go either over two nights or white or basically see two Broadway shows in one day. But people are saying like what you can't believe what they pull off in terms of the magic and shit like that. People are like it's on it is unbelievable. I got to say. Yeah, I read all the books. So, was all the movies and everything. It's good stuff. But, uh, did you, what did you think of Skull Island? Um...

I didn't think it was as good as God's Allah. I, um... I feel the opposite, that's interesting. I felt it was, uh, something was missing for, for me. Um, I didn't like the, um, I really, really didn't like the humans in it, other than the dude who was stuck into like, from the World War II. Yeah, he was awesome. You know, like Samuel Jackson staring down King Kong over a wall of

fire? I was like, that is why Samuel Jackson's in this movie, put out one moment so he could stare down King Kong. I just found it. It was long too. Yeah. I found it silly that like, there's this, there's this,'s this contingent of the human humans are like we got a safe calm we got a safe 40 foot gigantic monster from the you know it just felt like that that didn't play well for me but you fuck Star Wars and like any stars will be coming out now I would if I go and my choice to see the King Kong versus Godzilla Yeah, I'm just especially of the last Jedi I'm almost with it. I would I would defer I would say okay. I can only choose one Franchise yeah, I would say King Kong movies for love and Godzilla the got so franchise over the more movies. You know,

I love the Marvel movies. Yeah. Monster Guy first. That trail is awesome. When we were when we were shooting the show, I guess it might have been sees I can't remember what season it was. Three maybe. There was a guy who came in monster bill. Oh, I remember he was talking about him. And he was, I think it was a sanitation guy, yeah, and, but was a collector and shit. That's how we got into collecting. Final stuff in the garbage. Yeah, but like finding huge models that made the mind, not mine.

Not mine. Mine models that made its way to the side. The showrunner, Brian the show, becoming so irritated because we wouldn't stop saying monster bill over and over again Like every time we talked about it be like monster bill that he's like, you know, I'm tired of this monster bill I tried to paint I Remember getting these things. It was it was Wolfman Frankenstein and Dracula and you had to make these little

It was Wolfman, Frankenstein and Dracula, and you had to make these little plaster casts of them. You stabbed him here. You had him here a long time ago. And then you would paint them afterwards. I remember doing the plaster cast that part worked out, and then I shut him up, and I'm gonna paint him. Immediately Frankenstein fell off and his nose broke right off.

And I don't remember why, but I made his jacket red, and his hair brown, and I didn't even get to the face and was like fucking I throw all three from a wife I kind of want to do this to skip the closet. They were right to the curb We got no what the colors should be because you only so black away move. No, I think I think yeah, I'm color blind Yeah, I'm like he probably has like a cool smoking jacket like Frank's life was a red satin jacket right? Like sure. Why not? I should have assumed yet was dark. I have no recollection as to why I made it red and I should have assumed Yeah, it was probably like at least dusty brown

But yeah totally losing speaking of monsters and franchises though Halloween this Friday I don't know I talked about that but um I guess I guess the The monster the monster universe that that was gonna be dead dead monster universe that was gonna be dead. Dead, from the top cruise one. The mommy was not, I didn't like that movie. It was not.

Oh, I thought they killed that a while ago. No, I was able to dark universe. Dark universe, yeah. That saddens me though, because that could have, and they may never get another chance on my lifetime now. So all those Tom haters out there that were, that was, Universal Monsters may not get another chance at a franchise.

Yeah, they may though. Did you see the mommy? Yeah. What's up with any good or not really another chance at a franchise. Yeah, they made up. Did you see the mommy? Yeah, what's up with any good? I really really bad. It was really bad. Really just not a good. They need Brendan Frazier back. I'll take it that first mommy movie is pretty good. But what are you gonna say? Oh the movie Apostle just came out on Netflix Friday. It's a horror movie about a you, you guys would love it. I watch it. It's fucking a guy's sister is kidnapped by this religious cult in the 1900s in England, I think Wales. And this guy, he's an opium addict and he goes on the cover in the cult to try and get a sister back, but it is some fucked up shit goes down and it is the glorious movie I've seen.

But it is some fucked up shit goes down and it is the glorious movie. I've seen like I mean Decay since like hostile like was like pumping them out like crazy Gore crazy gets a really weird and dark and supernatural and the whole time I'm watching I'm like you two guys would fucking love this movie. Yeah, well then you would not like this But there are cool monsters and shit in it. Oh, yeah Oh, so it's not oh, it's not just about, they're not, they're not, yeah, they, what they worship is interesting. And you see things and it's pretty cool.

I was, as I was watching, I was like, this is fucking, the boys would love this, but yeah, if you're not into the gore, it's a lot of it. Now that is a gore, like the gore porn. Oh, the torture porn stuff. It never appealed to me. By the time it came out, I think we were aged out of that lot of it. There's a lot of it. Like the Gore porn? The torture porn stuff. Yeah, it never appealed to me. By the time it came out,

I think we were aged out of that sort of thing. Like torture porn was the slasher for us, like of the 80s, you know, like five, 30s Halloween, all that shit. So by the time torture porn came out, you were like, I've seen it and then passed it. And this is the older people don't like it too, because when you're younger,

you don't have a real sense of mortality. But when you get older somewhere deep down, you're like, somebody could fuck and chop me with a machete like these people and die right and left. My problem with those movies is I just, I just didn't want to see kids get tortured for no reason. I was like, why?

Because it was like, young, average hikers, teenagers. Yeah, whatever they were in the movie like I just was like there's a girl and like she's on vacation with a friends And like now I'm gonna sit here for an hour and watch some guy pay a hundred thousand dollars to cut her tits off I'm like I don't want to see this Hostel yeah, yeah, I do like kind of shit. Yeah, like Heather what's her name Heather Maderato and Heather what's her name Heather Montorato and Sure, they made like three of them like hanging upside down and yeah like nude it's it's really really strange It's very bizarre. I mean even saw I'll watch because at least

It's completely absurd and the contraptions of what it's all about and those people you know They're not necessarily good people and you know jigsaw's is like you ran a red light and you know hit a dog I would have a shithee says um, oh so they give you they give you kind of give the viewer a reason to into yeah, like Uh, it's not good. Yes, that's like what's happening to why this person in utile Yeah, it doesn't it's not logical. It doesn't it's stupid But but at least to give me something besides the girls on a gap year vacation. Yeah, they're like, yeah, what did she do?

It's like, well, she saved up and went on a dream vacation. Oh fuck her. Yeah. Right. Yeah, it is really strange because they definitely build it up to like, you know what's going to happen? It's going to be like a bunch of friends are going to get tortured to death and one girl is going to send her.

Make it out or kill the guy or whatever. A digit hostile to spoiler. Did it start with a person who made it through, like one of the things that got on the floor? Oh, I think so, right? Through the whole first movie immediately gets killed. Yeah. Like right out of the gate gets killed.

Yeah. Do you have any excitement for the Halloween that comes out? Ah, that's your guy, right? Or is that not the guy? No, Jason's my Ah, that's your guy, right? Or is that guy? No, Jason's my guy. Yeah, I don't have a lot of hope for it, but I like, I know they're not going to make the mistakes the last ones, which is that like Trick or Treat,

motherfucker, shit. That was some who feelin' over the top. No, that was, that was, that was H2O, or some of that, where Buster Rhymes was in it. And he kind of kicks through a burning door and he goes, Trica, treat motherfucker. No, I've heard what you're talking about.

Well, all right. Now as a purist, as a person who grew up on the ony-use, and this is your, this is my genre. This is like Halloween is yours, that's your era. Sure. That your generation owns that.

Like, I'm from William Wolley that like what I'm more like Jason I think we're jace the first one came out in 78 he was fucking two years old yeah he on it I mean the sequel certainly but he grew up as a teenager who knows where like at the height of like these are theatrical first run like major releases those movies I guess they still are but now do you as a purest are because I I've heard that they're racing it all, except the first one, everything after it now didn't happen. Yeah, I kind of wish they'd kept the second one. Like, I don't mind that they were brother and sister, and I like that John Carpenter had a hand in the second one.

He directed some of it and stuff, so, but I don't care. You don't care, because of how the other like, they think like that. No, but we use different timelines. You don't care. Because of the other you like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like But those movies are all shitty like the home movies are like the Rob Zombie one. Oh the Rob Zombie ones. I wasn't really because it wasn't I mean, they weren't as bad as the trick-or-treat motherfucker ones in terms of like Corniness, but but I was just like all right, okay the big problem with the rob zombie one was That he gave a reason as to why he was that way first like in the first one It's like he's just evil and carnit.

And Rob Zombie's like, hey, I'm gonna take the serial killer approach. He's abused as a child. He has a white trash up ring. He's killing dogs. I don't mind that kind of shit. I didn't like that he gave him a reason. It just didn't feel like Michael Myers, but Loomis was awesome. Oh, Malcolm McDowell.

Yeah, I thought he was a good Loomis. And I did like when Michael Myers killed Danny Trejo's character, who's like Danny Trejo's really nice to him. Oh, yeah, he was like Michael, Michael, Michael, stop, stop. Yeah, and he was a janitor. Yeah, for years and years like the janitor was really nice to him. And then when Michael goes to escape, he just fucking kills him like it's nothing. Yeah, and he didn't have to.

He didn't have to. He just walked right by. Yeah. you just fucking kill them like it's nothing. Yeah, and even after they didn't have to, you can just walk right by, yeah. Do you, like, how awesome would it be if like, if there was like, if the makers of the new Halloween were like, every Halloween movie after the first one doesn't exist, doesn't exist, except Halloween three. Yeah, like we're bringing Silver Shemra back.

I would think they do it. Could they combine the two worlds? I think so. I've never tried to do that yet, right? Have they? Probably because Michael Myers wasn't in the hall. Yeah. He was on TV, he was on TV in it.

Oh, was he? Yeah. They combine the two. Somehow they were able to marry a season of the witch with the Halloween, with the Michael Myers aspect. I mean, now, I think that would be the only thing left to do. Well, wait, what? Is someone asking, why are we doing this? Like, what is, what, where do they, could that, it come together? Like, well, somehow, some, some, with clever writing,

they're able to make the silver shamrock part of that Halloween three, all that stuff that was in Halloween three, be in canon and in, in the Michael Myers continuity as well. be in canon and in in the Michael Myers continuity as well. I think that would work because since then you have all these tablets and phones. Now it's going out everywhere that commercial to viral video or something. You know, but how do you bring like that,

those people who were putting it into motion, who I guess we never knew why they were doing it. They were robots and they were like gods. Yeah, they're like, all fuzzy. It was like there was like Stonehenge was a big part of it. It was like a sacrifice, right? But like, could you marry and then have Michael Myers come on the scene too? And he kills all the robots and he goes and somehow it's like monster versus monster.

I would watch that. You don't make it. Then they make it into a play. Yeah. I go see that too. You have the whole thing of like Laurie Strode coming back. I'm just like, but she's been back twice already. This same exact story line is played out.

I'm waiting for Michael. He's coming for me. I know he's coming for me. I'm prepared. I'm going to get to go though. Over 15 years ago. So they theorize probably just like in comic books like that audience is long gone This new audience doesn't remember or wasn't around was it a poor a cute generation owns it

I mean Alex people take ownership of Star Wars. Oh, yeah Well, I thought maybe that you would take ownership of this of the 80 slash movies. Well more Jason I always obsessed I'll take ownership of that. That's mine. Okay. We take ownership of what's ours Be personally like I mean, I don't know I can't speak well You're a good Zola big monster Big big mock Kaiju big big monsters. I'll take ownership of those and plan on the apes I don't know. It's not hard, but you take it You guys really have that that's not hard, but you... I'll take it. I like it. See, like, you guys really have that. That's mine.

Okay, you got it. Shut up. That's not yours. What are you gonna take ownership of? I mean, I know you like, let's scare Jessica to death. You can have it, I don't want it. Yeah, yeah, don't be afraid of the dark I'll take. A number of obscure 70s.

Go with the car movies. Yeah, I would take it. Bad Ronald, you can have it. I have a lot of cars. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take him all. I actually love those kind of movies. Yeah, I would take bad Ronald you can have it. I take them all. I love I actually love those kind of movies Because that's the shit that I was gonna argue about it though like you can have it and you're not gonna have like And they're gonna have like heated debates about it. It could be like I don't know what you're talking about

Well, er, he was a rat. I never saw it. I never saw it Maybe it's yours. You won with Crispin Glover. Who's that? Never saw it. I never saw it. Maybe it's yours. She went with Crispy Glover. Who's that? Oh, there was a remake? Oh, yeah. Oh, I didn't even know that. Yeah, it was not great. Not really. Did it go right to the video? No, I saw it theatrically. Really? But it was, yeah, it was not that.

Don't be afraid of the dark. No, willer. No, willer. Yeah, the don't be afraid of the dark one. That was not good either. Yeah, I remember you were disappointed in that. Yeah, I never even saw the remake. Yeah, it was pretty terrible. I went to the theatre to see that too. I'll go to see Halloween. Yeah, I remember you're disappointed in that. I never even saw the remake. Yeah, I was pretty terrible. I went to the other side to see that too. I'll go to see Halloween. Yeah, I'll go check it out.

But yeah, like you I don't have, like you're going with low expectations. And Lori Stro is like, it's just weird. She's so matrily like grandma. Shh. I don't know if she's like, they had to erase anything to like try to like make her. Sexier up.

No, I think they went to Lynn their Hamilton route Where she's like doesn't give fuck what she looks like she's all about, but you know kick an ass Linda Hamilton though Great though and she's there were no rumors that she wasn't a woman Yeah, but she wasn't glamorous. Oh, yeah, they were all life right? For an afro diet people kept saying for a long, I don't know why or what started. She's been naked in movies. She showed her boobs.

I'm like dreaming places. I sleep away. I sleep away. I sleep away. She was in it. No. Oh, so. But that's what they've got.

That's the rumor I've always heard about. Sleep away camp because we do cons and some of them are horror cons. We see Tiffany Sheppis all the time and she's a lot of time so Lisa Rose is there too and she's the the Sleepboy camp girl. She's her machete. Wow, you imagine she's great. She's in a Victor Crowley. She's really nice. She's so nice. So she's been the other thing. I thought she was just banking like she was still just going off being in her Maffordite in one movie. No, she's been in a ton of stuff, like a ton of work.

How much was she made that her Maffordite in one movie? She was like 16, 17 years old, something like that. That was a CGI shot. No, it was like a murk and right? It was like, yeah, some kind of... Well, the face was like, you're not, are you either YouTube?

She's like, a phone, I could take something. No, no, no, no. No, it was facial rose, it wasn't Tiffany, that was the... No, I get it, I like it takes Oh, no, no, no, it's for Lisa Rose. It wasn't Tiffany. That was the No, I got it. Oh, you know her too. She was in that's the thing. Yeah, we should call her. She was in She was in hatches as well. They're both in hatches. What part is oh, oh, yeah, yeah, that's right. Holy shit. I totally forgot that Do you think there's been a since sleep away camp? They've kind of shot away from the hermaphidite in the horror movies Well, I don't think she was a hermaphidite in the movie. I think she was just a guy. Yeah, she was just a guy. No, the rumor was that Jamie Lee Curtis was the hermaphidite

for real. That was like what was urban by the time she that that that was real was that she had no she was a dude and it looked like a teen girl. It looked like a totally normal teen 16 year old girl until the very end. When they're like, oh my god, and her face was all messed up. Like, I did something really to her face. And she is a giant cock hangin'.

I remember seeing that on video being like, what the fuck? Like, I'm confused. Yeah. Dad? Get off that roof. Look at this. He's like, I never coming off this roof. I live up here now.

I'm watching cock videos. That was a glorious time. People are going to be like, wow, they're old. But the advent of the VCR and the video store. All those movies that are now the best all online. They're all online. This is bad, just all online. They're all online, but this is bad just as cheesy just as cheap and they don't but yeah They don't have that same allure like you can see a movie that's probably better in quality than one of those old shitty like Dr.

Gingles MD type thing, but you're like I would never watch this because then there's no way to attach nostalgia to it later on you know No, at this point that this stage you're like no way to attach nostalgia to it later on, you know? No, at this point, at this stage, you're like... No way. Like, people kept recommending, uh, terrifying about this clown. It was like, there's a horror movie about a clown. And, um, a killer clown, he's like, going around killing people and we had a very, very 80s feel to it.

And I'm like, it's a rabbit. I mean, it doesn't look great. The clown's very fucking weird and shit, but like essentially just chasing a lady A couple of ladies trying to kill him through the whole movie and that's it There's just no like very rare anymore. You see a movie that I'll watch you possible But it was the other one that Western that you recommended which was your own talk. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom. I'll talk that was brutal too. That was really yeah, I like that But trying to find a movie

anymore to like sit through and be like, wow, that was really good. It's like nearly impossible. I want to see the mega. I was like, holy shit. I heard that was dog shit. Holy shit, that big shark movie. Yeah. That's why you would say that. I brought sage because I thought that sage would like that. Yeah. That seems a bit too like tense, I would think, for sage. She likes jaws, she likes sharks and snakes and all that kind of shit. She doesn't get the, I'm sure there's the overused, like, fucking, like, shock thing where people jump. Oh, the jump scare type thing. Was it in the bag? I would imagine.

I think you're in there. I mean, there's one point where they kill the bag like 15 minutes into the movie and you're like, I'm totally sure another bigger It was it was so bad. It was like unbelievable how bad it was there's like one lady who has hair Like an anime character like it was so distracting the way her hair She's a fucking bio marine biologist or something on this oil rig thing, Dwight from the office plays the, That's the other trailer. Yeah, the evil billionaire businessman, it was just like all around it was like this sucks.

Yeah, like the, I'll CGI. I'll CGI the cartoonish black guy who like, you know, like I ain't going in that water, you know, like joking around, like real stepping trick. That's cheating, motherfucker. Exactly, yeah. Did you guys see the news now today?

That in Toronto police have footage of a naked man swimming in the in the Toronto aquarium shark tank. The shark tank naked and they and they he gets out of the tank put this clothes back on and they don't have no idea who he is. That's crazy. He went for a swim. He went for a swim in the in the shark tanks nude. That's great. Yeah, you have footage of him swimming underneath these sharks Yeah, shrinkage and

good damn, but Is boning sharks disease. No, he doesn't hurt any of the marine life, but like What kind of psychopath breaks into an aquarium unless he works there and they don't know who it is But and then strips down and jumps in that tank. So, a subtle problem, right? It's just like it's one of the strangest stories I've ever come across on the internet. Yeah, that is odd. Is it war? I was thinking is it a marketing gimmick for Aquaman? No, I don't think they got to promote that. Yeah, they're like, look at this doughy lumpy wipe away. This guy will be, they're right there.

This guy will be representing Jason. Whoa. This is how we want to market it. Yeah, so like, I mean, why is going to your head, it would just, I mean, he's crazy. Was he on drugs? I mean, how did you get into head? I mean, he's crazy. Was he on drugs? I mean, how did he get into the aquarium? I would not be surprised.

He's saying he had to hide out in a closet as I'm shit like that. And then when everybody's gone, and he jumps in, like, is some sort of fantasy. But again, who's fantasy? Why the fuck won't this shit play? Oh my god. Okay, the little 13-second clip of some of the internet here. Fuck won't this shit play. Oh my god

The little 13-second clip of some's the internet here This says to a very as you can see is but hole in everything Yeah, it's fucking look at him look at him go Oh, shit. Yeah, see him. Yeah, man. He's like waiting to swim in around There's all kinds of fish. Oh, it smells so nasty. And be cold, isn't it? Like those sharks like cold water? It's got, I mean, this guy's got to be hopped up on some sort of, kind of, a couple of offerings.

Yeah, some kind of, some kind of name brand aspirin. Because I mean, I would think, I mean, I don't know how clean is that water though. Not at all. Well, no, it's heavily filtered. Yeah, I guess so, because the fish got to be even. Yeah. I don't know, man. That would, that would freak me. I couldn't know how clean is that water though. Not at all. Well, no, it's heavily filtered. Yeah, I guess so because the fish got to be Yeah, I don't know man. That would that was freak me. I couldn't do it There's there's there was just like no fish that bit in there. I couldn't fucking eat my leg in

There's no what's the reason to go in there's there's no reason to go in unless you're bucket list all right Yeah, you could do that usually you're in a cage like you're bucket list, all right? I want to say the sharks. Yeah, you could do that. Usually you're in a cage, like you're not technically swimming. That's what we'll see. That dude, and why get naked? Why not wear some trunks or something? I don't want to be one with the, you want to feel like you're one with the, with the sea life, man. You don't see fish in here with any pants on.

That's true. I mean, if you had your way, they would. But what do you do to that guy if you're the aquarium the oppressed charges you sure you got it Yeah, of course, did he do any I mean trust pass? He you know broke the rules of the place. He probably put the fish in danger Yeah, because they could get some sort of fucking fungus or whatever Yeah, what if he ate something bad and it like well comes out and then yeah, like Kill this you think you dropped the log in there I don't know but I guess when

we're talking about to put a pass on yeah if he wants to become one in the fish community that's what they do those are the grossest thing I'm gonna prepare me so fish tanks and like when a fish took a shit it wouldn't always like this large she'll be falling around as they swear oh it's so disgusting I try to jump in naked. Right. Bucket list. But is that the greatest of advertisement for this Toronto fucking aquarium?

I know it exists now. I mean, I would have assumed one exists, but now I know for sure there's one I Mean it's not gonna make me go. What? Do you think that guy is Right now is like why the fuck did I do that? He put that to me you see my face Every time I'm a panic man. He's he's making plans right now Canadian or American? Canadian. Canadian.

Yeah. Yeah. It was probably somebody on some like bath salts or some shit, like something very weird. I wonder if it was maybe just one of the handlers. Yeah, but then there would be no mystery. They may not let it out. Yeah, they may not let that information get out. People are always doing that shit climbing into fucking tiger enclosures and then like some like with shit like that

They're like oh my god. He's getting ripped apart like they're gonna rip some apart right front of people I'm like, I guess we better shoot the tiger. It's so the fuck for what the fuck for I don't understand it You know, it's like somebody somebody breaks into your house and You shoot them and then like we'll now we got to shoot you Well, you can trouble for that now, right? I guess so. Shoot somebody in your house, probably not. Somebody came in. You got it. I guess.

You're going to go on now. No, I'm just trying. Shoot him a dirty look. Yeah, shoot him some daggers. Get out of here. Go on now. I've been watching. I was going to ask you this. I've been watching this show 90 Day Fiance. You've talked about it.

Yeah. It's pretty interesting and as much as like, I mean, having worked on a show now where like you know certain things don't happen certain ways and like the looks and shit the reactions it's like you wonder now about every single thing you see and shit like that but when it comes right down to it it's like these guys met and every single person who is from another country it's the same story their entire family's like all they want is a green card all they want is a green card. All they want is a green card. And I'm only up to the second season so far. It doesn't

seem like anybody's there just a green card. Yeah, I got it. Why though? If you don't like it though. Because it's really not that good, but it does. It's amazing what they do with such a small amount of footage because you'll see the same scene or like you know, little sequence four times, five times within the same show. It's like, here's the teaser. Now here's the recap. Now here's where it really happens. Well, you watch for Prattle Joker. Here's the flashback. My accident.

You're telling me with the world we live in and the amount of entertainment that's out there you're watching a show that you don't like it got Yeah, it hooked me in I can't I can't not watch it. I'm like all right Well, and then you finish bulge egg the next no I watched Beyond the 90 days like I was like what's this It came up on Hulu and I watched the first one and I'm like, oh my god, these people are maniacs. So like you watched the whole thing and then I'm like, all right, let me watch the first season.

And then you're like, Is this a couple of things like you and your gal, do this? Oh, we totally, yeah. Yeah. I'm serious, like is this something? Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, like so, I know you guys just, I'm sure you're just yelling at her about what's,

not yelling at her, but like yelling at, yelling at her through what you're seeing. I'm like, why don't you act more like a Russian who desperately wants a green card? I feel like you're in frustration by books. Are you're telling her every frustration while watching this about what you're seeing, right? No, it's more, I'm not frustrated as much. It's just like incredulous. I can't believe these people exist and I can't believe that some of them you feel sorry for. Like the first season, there was a guy who was a Mormon and he is, he has a girl who's from Brazil, this girl who's 20,

really pretty, really young, small. She looks like a little kid almost and he's 29. And all, first off, I'm like a lot of these guys, I'm like, that guy is gay. There's no way this guy isn't gay. And he's, I guess he's gone like outside the country because he's, you know, the local poll has been left and disappointed. I think this dude is from Utah. I think or California, one of the two. Where was the foreign participant from? The foreign girl was from Brazil. Is it that bad in Brazil that they'll go? Yeah, they have one of the highest murder rates

in the real-day scenario. Yeah, there used to be like, that's like police were like death squads. They go through like killing kids. So though people love to go there, they're vacation. It was beautiful, but yeah, like you can't be in the streets. It's a, no.

No. Shippell. Oh yeah. Yeah. Wow. I know that. That's why there's a no no shippell. Oh yeah, yeah, wow That's why they're nervous when when the Olympics were there because the street crime is so bad So you give your bender no cattle went He went for real for the festival and he got carnival. He got a flee seems fun. Oh, yeah for the festival and he got a carnival. He got a flea seems fun.

Oh yeah, he fell asleep. He fell asleep on a beach. How do you look up all the ship was gone? His wall at his camera. All right guys. That's what you wake up. You're just like, well, I show your shit to him. I'll ask him.

How is it like, how is it that light asleep right in a foreign country? I know, he doesn't drink either. So you know, he wasn't like, you know know he wasn't like the sun beaten down out of yeah Yeah, there's no fucking way was he just by himself? I mean he told me the story years ago I don't know the I'll get the details. Oh, this was this was yeah college. I think yeah That's that's crazy, but the the guy is like a lot of the guys are very controlling or like they want to control the girls because they're all from like the Philippines or Russia or Brazil, Colombia, that kind of these places and the guy

And again, you don't know how they cut it so you're not sure if he said this before after, but he's like, I don't want her to become a model. Which seems a rather random thing to say. I don't want her getting caught up in that fast life. And then she goes to get a haircut and they do her hair all nice and the lady, the hair cut lady is like, you should become a model. And she's like, really? And then she tells them she's going to do some modeling and she goes and takes pictures and he doesn't like it, of course. And he eventually, at the end, she does not do the modeling and she instead she

marries him. And this is like this girl. She seems so nice. And so I felt so bad for so sweet and like wide-eyed at everything. Like she was, she, he brought her to Hollywood in Highland and she gets, she's super into Johnny Depp and there's a guy dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow so she gets a picture with him and he doesn't even like that. He's like, all right, all right, hands off, hands off, like he's in real control. And there's a scene where because there are more men so they can't have premarital sex so she sleeps in the bedroom and he's sleeping out. I mean, whoever's shooting this must have been like, this is, I

couldn't hope for more. He's laying on a couch to go to sleep. And his friend combo comes over to make sure he doesn't sneak in there to have sex with him as if, like, sex with her as if that's like going to be a problem. And he's like on a different like, they're so close and facing each other, giggling. And he's like the, the guy, the warm and guy pretending he wants to fuck the girls. Like, hey, why don't you go to sleep?

He's like, you first. Like, they're so, I'm like, they're gay. There's nothing wrong with it. Just be gay. Right. Why is he dragging this poor girl into it? Why does this girl have to like become a part of this, this weirdness?

And I checked up like the backstory and they're expecting their first kid she didn't do modeling yeah I was like god damn cuz I was hoping oh yeah yeah yeah like yeah cuz so mostly the girls you're like walk away like some of the guys take shit that I'm like oh my god like I wouldn't I wouldn't take this under any circumstances let it like that must be the little one you can get out of the country so fast, it's just a phone call.

Yeah, like you're bitching at me again, hold on, let me just call ice. There's a girl who, again, the fucking guys, like it's the religious ones who are like real like, it's weird, like 23 old guys who are like giggling about being virgins and shit, and like that, the religious people, that's all they wanna talk about before the wedding is,

like the extended family too, about having religious people that's all they wanna talk about before the wedding is, like, the extended family too, about having sex, that's all there. But can you imagine, so I would talk about this. That's family. And just being like, so big nights coming up, gonna get some. So, okay, so.

It's bizarre. So, that's it, you, let's say you have a family member who is a virgin, a male virgin, and you're not ripping, and not ripping, you're not like talking to him, like you're not like all the big nights going up, or you're just like, it's, you know it, but it's a elephant in the room. My first question is, why do I know this?

Yeah. Like my brother, like my brother. I would defer, probably he's a cousin or, I don't know. I probably would talk to him about it, just because. But you would, you'd be like asked a big night. Like my brother like my brother Probably would talk to him about it just cuz you would you be like a specific night? It was a I probably if it was a female cousin. I probably wouldn't I wouldn't want to be like I probably just offer my services Yeah, like you don't have to go to Columbia for this Why why cuz you wouldn't feel it be too awkward to talk? Yeah, I think it would be awkward and it's like would inside Do I have on the topic? Yeah, I think it would be awkward and it's like what inside do I have on the topic?

No, not on not from her angle, but also do you have any brothers or cousins that if they were still a version you wouldn't be like They're a sexual there's something. Yeah, there's something fundamentally wrong Sure except for the fact that they're highly religious. Yeah You wouldn't like give the old punch in your arm like, hey buddy, you're 48 hours. That's not how close to, if I was really close to him, I'd probably would, but it's a little bit and be like, you know, you make sure we're getting the right whole, buddy. And I was just like that, you know. But not the girl though. Not the girl.

Not the girl. You'd be a little bit more. I just wouldn't want to discuss it. Weird. Yeah, I think it's weird. There was a guy, he was a religious guy from Pennsylvania and the girl was from South Africa. They're both pretty young, like 22, 23 somewhere in there. And he has two brothers.

I think they were both older. All they wanted to talk about, like the one brother thought he was the funniest mother fucker on earth. And it was like, oh my god. That's a darn error feel. Yeah. They yeah right at least that was an hour that was great go um this is the one reminds me though this car is back to the beginning stages of Tom Steve date when you were obsessed with honey boo boo. Yeah. You are drawn to these like these trash. Car wreck trash. Well shit.

Yeah. And then I can't stop because I'm like I got to see it through to the end. I got to see it through to the end. But I know it's stupid and I know I'm wasting my time. But I'm still like still if you enjoy it. It's on some level. I'm like, I want to binge every season. That's how my bucket list is. Like, but these two guys are like, they're talking about the sex with a brother and he's all like, oh, and they're like, we're passing the torch to you and they're like, the sex torch and they're like,

they think the term sex torch is hysterical. But when they explain it though, it's like, I don't know what they're talking about. But he was like, the one who, no, the one who got married first was like, first I passed the sex torch to you to the other brother. Was there an actual torch or no? And he was like, and then we'll pass it to Danny.

You know, I mean like, and her, like, not us. Like they were like, they don't, they don't want any mistakes made that like, we're going to fuck our brother. That actually made me laugh. But then during the ceremony, they did bring out an actual torch because they were like, we can't waste this on just me and you.

Let's let everybody know about the sex torch. And they brought it out and everybody's cracking up. And I'm like, either a, they're laughing at something they don't even know what they're talking about or be there's a whole preamble that they just cut out of the show. Yeah Weddings though. I mean sex has played a gigantic role in the in the ceremony, don't you got the After the ceremony usually Well, the white and the brightest more weddings if that were the case here. Yeah, what's that? After after theows and the kiss, you take off the garner belt

and you throw it to somebody else. And you're like, you know, you get real high. You're seeing a whole bunch of skin. Yeah, but I think at this point though, you're assuming that they've had sex already. So it's not like, oh, they're gonna do it tonight. It's like, I've lived together for three years. I'm assuming that they fucked at this point.

I literally don't care years. I'm assuming that they fucked at this point. I did a lash like I don't care and I you know Yeah, in fact, they've lived together so long. They probably aren't gonna do it Exactly, probably gonna be tired. I was gonna bed If I was wondering though if you were a single guy would you ever? Would you ever consider that like another somebody from another country? Because you don't you don't really know anybody when you meet them now. You really don't know their backstory I think it's such a different cultures and everything and maybe it's a tough thing or comments and like unless it's like

Like a first world country. Yeah, like Canada or something Or England or something, but like somebody's like you like you know like if it's like okay And you live in a straw hut and I live in yeah some of them do yeah like the one girl lived in like like earth and Floors and shit. It's very difficult You have to work your way up to having an actual floor Yeah, there's there's some culture shock for some of them There was a guy in the before the 90 days or whatever this guy Larry. It's So good this guy. I've never seen someone so socially awkward like this is like this is how we talk about the if it is

eyes this is like dead wood level of yeah he's really into this this guy was so amazing though like I've never seen someone so incapable of conversation with people he knows interacting with people he doesn't know like and up like worse than Walter Like it was like there's one scene. I'll isolate I'll isolate it and show it to you guys the way he He goes to the Philippines and he greets this did remind me of you He greets like the family the way he greets the dad is a Series of I guess greetings that he assumes. First he doves his hat. Then he goes to shake a hand. Then he tries to hug him but awkwardly. And then he, or before he tries to hug him, he bows. It dude, it's so fucking weird.

That's weird. And weird. But like he goes, what he's approaching, he goes, hi, daddy. And then he goes, hi, daddy. But then they're like, all right, well, the whole family's going to have this barbecue type thing. So they roast something called like a luché or whatever. And it's this pig. And the guy hacks the head off with a machete. And the dude is like, I'm not eating that. I got to want to eat that.

Was it cooked, right? It was cooked. Yeah, it was like a pig roast. And the girls super upset because I guess they'd like save up for a month to buy this pig So that and they rarely have it and this guy Larry shows up and they're like hey, we're gonna celebrate Your rival and marrying the daughter and everything and you won't eat it and these little kids are laughing at him and all the adults are offended And she's pissed at him for like the rest of the trip because he wouldn't eat the pork And he's just like I don't eat that

If you thought you'd be like, no way, like no fucking way. There's lots of shit I wouldn't eat. I don't care if it offend somebody or not. It's like, all right, come on. Come on. There's a lady she was offended because she was some Midwestern lady. She's like, so you don't want to eat my bacon? Like she had made bacon. And. They look girls like I don't eat bacon. I like bacon She's offended by it. It's like you fucking fried bacon. It's not like you made some kind of fancy soup One ingredient Down there it's a little warm up. Yeah, you didn't really cook it. Yeah, I never got the obsession with bacon like I like You know, like people do read that real fatty bacon with a maple syrup on it. Yeah, it's so disgusting We're like bacon and chocolate

I like the ship crispy bacon almost no fat on it. It's not like chewy There you go. You like bacon? Well, I used to eat bacon. I haven't eaten bacon in probably 20 years 20 years Because it's very rare for me to have gotten bacon without any fat on it, because I like it crispy too. And seemingly every time I got bacon it was like rubber fat. That's nasty. I just wore off bacon.

There was, um, Mill pork. I pulled the swine, like Muslim, you know, big on swine. So it made me pull this up because there was another Mormon guy who was like this kind of girl. I really thought she's 21 years old. She comes over from Czech Republic. She's like, I really like to dance. And the boyfriend or her husband say whatever is Mormon.

And the whole family is like super judgmental. And they're like, yeah, no more dancing. And she's like, but I want to dance. And they're like, nah, in fact, put a shirt with sleeves on because you can't have a sleeve or a shirt. Shit. And so the boyfriend is like, all right, I'll meet you. I know you like the dance.

I'll bring it down to learn the salsa, which already knows, evidently. But he brings her, imagine bringing her to a pizza place in Idaho. And they just clear the tables away. And it's a whole bunch of white people doing something that in no way shape or form resembles the salsa. And the music isn't like salsa music.

And she's looking at him like, what the fuck? And she's like, this is, this sucks. And this is no good. And she came from Russia, this girl. And I've been watching this. I'm like, she, I bet you she had more freedom in Russia than she did. In Idaho, with these fucking crazy Mormons. They don't like anything.

But I know what, you're a Catholic. It made me look it up. And I'm like, you might be a good Mormon. Here are some of the main tenants, right? No sex before marriage and complete fidelity after marriage. You've been married a while. You're fucking the fidelity thing totally works. So you got that. No alcohol or drugs. Yeah. Why? Just a aspirin. Yeah. I don't know if they're not on my son or whatever.

So I don't think they care about like if you had an aspirin because you got a cold in my neck, I think they'd be like, alright, well just don't dance The yeah, I could definitely be if that's it This one you might have hard hard time with no dishonesty Mormons believe it's important to keep Christ's commandment and the Bible to be honest with other people Well, no little white lies Um, mean, it is no dishonesty. So probably that falls under the umbrella. Come in little white lies, you tell a day, you.

On average, you think you've got the guess. 10. I don't know. I think less and less as I get older, what do you value? Zero. Zero white lies. All my lies are major lies to sleep. You're blackest of the lies. White lies, you're probably maybe a couple of

days. Not too many. Yeah, I don't know if I mean if I was being 100% honest. I mean, I tell which the Mormons want you to be. That I mean, I'm telling white lies constantly. Yeah, I pretend. Like, well, I can pretend to be interested when someone's telling me is that what is that being dishonest? Uh, no, I wouldn't say that falls under being dishonest because you're just you're not lying to them. You're you're you're you're you're humoring walk away after the conversation they like like he was interested. He was engaged. Yeah, I mean, they're technically they're delusional, I guess. But I would say that you that's more you just being polite.

Yeah, I would say you're being polite. I mean, and really just suffering, suffering the nonsense. Here's some other ones. Do not view pornography. It's incredibly belittling to women to treat them as objects and pornography temps the viewer to commit sin. Respect their choice. Do not engage in same-sex relationships. We know you're not going to do that. Here's the one that would really suck. Dedicate Sundays to the Lord. I think they basically are like into the Lord all day long. Y'all football. I don't know. Maybe at night.

I think they're at most of the day they're in church. Did you guys watch that football game last night? Fucking so good. Yeah, I checked that out, man. I was like, give me a brew, ski bitch. Oh, I know you. I'm trying to watch this football game. I mean, I thought maybe in between 90 days, you know, you can watch it. You can maybe get a squeeze a little football in.

Yeah, now she's like the electric's off, remember? Like, I don't want to come to that gun. Get me a warm beer, a refrigerator, and Maybe get a little squeeze a little football in yeah now she's like the electric soft remember Get me a warm beer a refrigerator It's a great game last night you guys are messing out who who played Tom Brady put on another show last night I did it. Yeah, it is 40s now in his 40s and doing things that no 40-year-old man has ever done on a field. I heard recently, I can't remember, it was on some radio stations flipping around and they were talking about Tom Brady out living his usefulness. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't sound like it. This is what these guys were saying though, that like, he was steadily declining and should probably hang it up. What radio state? What would it be?

It was on satellite radio. It was on satellite somewhere, yeah. No, I think he's- No, I think he's- I think he's- I think he's- No, I think he's- I think he's- No, I think he's- He's- He's doing like- He's-

No, at this stage, at the 40-year-old stage, he's done more than any 40-year-old has ever done. Like, he's break. Every time he does one thing, he's adding to a record that he probably won't be able to have at this point in his life. Who's the oldest guy to ever play in the NFL? I don't know for sure but I know there was a guy named George Blanda and he retired in the 70s and he was 50 and he was a quarter back and who who got regulated to a place kicker to stay on to stay in the team so he was the backup quarterback

but in his final year professional football he got to play some some quarterback as the the starter got injured and when you look at you google picture of George Blanthain his last game as a poet compared to Tom Brady it literally looks like Tom Brady's grandfather

Is that a landed and that's not a great picture. I can't see it But if you just type in George Blanda and Google images. I'll show you the picture. It's nuts Like the difference in decades and like I guess how you how we take care of ourselves right or how athletes take care of ourselves not We yeah One got the broken shoulder the other guy with a broken arm But still man, I mean it's crazy There he is Well, that's like that's in his let that's one of his last games up there the far right that motherfucker looks old right Yeah, if you were like, hey, that's a guy who plays football,

like currently, I'd like to get the fuck out of here in a way. I mean, it's just a different, I guess. Like in the over 50 league? It's a different world now. How athletes train? I just like, I mean, Tom Brady looks. Motherfucker in pliable.

20. He's always dead. Poor George Blanda. I got here. Yeah, he died in 2010. Born in 1927. He retired from Pro Football in 1976 at the age of 48. Oh, he didn't even make it to 50.

He was only, he was one of only two players to play in four different decades. Oh my God. Yeah, here's his 1955 woman card. It's paid it because they have cameras. He's like, wow, that's a great likeness. He's like a Michelangelo to paint it. I mean, he retired in 1976, so...

Wow. Holy shit. Yeah, so George Blanda, 40 over. Who else? Jerry Rice? How old is Tom Brady right now? Can you go in there? I thought I saw a stat less than he was 44, but I think he might I think he maybe have thrown 44 touchdown passes and at the age of 40. Yeah, you're all woozy. I don't like I don't know what's what. Let's see. He was born in 77, so he would be 41. So if he can go nine more years, that's a gigantic if, because it can end all on one play. So he's like got broken recently, right? So he snapped their leg.

No, that was jothized when I was decked. No, no, no, this is something recently. I'll try to find it. But if he plays until the age of 50, which he says he wants to, yeah, is it the greatest single achievement for a player? Yes, but I guess I mean, I mean, it plays 12 games a year. It's absolutely those 16 plus playoffs. Plus playoffs usually plays about four playoff games a year. We're always in the Super Bowl.

plays about four playoff games a year. We're always in the Super Bowl. That's 20 games plus the preseason. But I'm so happy. What about these cameras? What was his thing? Like what it says? The Iron Horse? Yeah.

Oh, this is, it wasn't a leg. It was a broken ankle. Bengal's Tyler. I felt like they tackled him and it's fucking. I don't know why. It's I don't know why it's easier for me to watch somebody die. Like in a video, then it is for someone to watch somebody break an arm or a leg or something. Yeah, I don't know. I'm going to, I think it's, if he is able to do it, I just don't see how it can,

how any singular achievement in any sport can ever match it though playing professionally until you're 50. It's crazy to think about it because going up against guys near 20s who are like physically it shouldn't be possible. Yeah, they're specimens. I guess this is like Football players man, I mean football fans look at over here. Yeah, Cal Ripken. What was his oh? Okay, yeah, he was a shortstop for the Baltimore Iron Man not the Iron Horse. That's it Luke Gary's in Iron, Iron noise Yeah, it's a nickname for one of the plays Ironman. Okay, he played 21 seasons. So he played until 2001. Well, right now Brady started in 2000. So he's played 18 years, with no signs of falling. I mean, this guy at the end, Cowrupkin. Yeah. I mean,

usually when they retire, it's like, it's like, oh, he's like, it's everyone knows it's time. All right. Like, there's no like, there's no like, oh, should he do it one more year? Everyone's like, you know, don't embarrass yourself any further. Like, it's time to leave now. Everyone has such great memories of you. But that is not the case. It played to leave us 42. Like that happened with Brodora a little bit towards the end, right? Like, he just was not as good as he was. Like your reflexes aren't just aren't as quick. They can't be. Uh, yeah, you just, yeah, a human being's reflexes.

Yeah, especially at Goldtender. But I mean, he wasn't, but he wasn't embarrassing himself. He just was a bit, he didn't have a great team in front of him either. It really was. He got the motive though, right? The perfect storm. Well, he, he wasn't starting.

He, he, he left and he went to another team. Oh, yeah. in front of him either. It really was the perfect storm. He wasn't starting. He didn't he left and he went to another team. He played only like six games and no one's going to ever remember those six games but for another team but Goldtender definitely but they some of them play until they're well into their 40s though. So about positioning too. you make up for any reflex loss by getting in good position and not when your angle is in shit. Yeah. I don't know, I saw that any given Sunday, I'm like, I could probably do it for lifting. I could be the oldest player.

I mean, is there thoughts of like, maybe there's time for like, when we're too old to do this? I don't think so. No, to sit almost oceanless in front of a fucking microphone. We're going back to Q's, Johnny got his gun shit. But I mean, kids will do it. Are we still bringing the same level of quality as we were when we were in our, when we were in our, we were young men? If you're going by my obsession with reality shows, yes.

I mean, the episode tonight would be relied heavily on just movies TV. But so long. No, no, I'm sorry, but like, you know, is that okay or is it? It's okay with me. That's all that matters. So you're saying that me and Brian, we could go to our 60s. If Brady could go to his 50s, we should be able to go into our 60s. I'd like to see you guys going to your 60s. We're the Tom Brady's of pod testing pretty much. It was all I'm gonna see you later. Hey mustache, this monkey, 12 monkey, sapphire, he's a poor color demon, not a lame scooter guy, he's the Staten Island Colonel Catch Boyd Big Well, God be a great chief, just go fuck yourself. Bless me, father, I may have sinned, I don't quite get the rules set by Mr. Flanagan. He sells comics, baby, no word of a lie, he never touches drugs and his parties are dry.

Balks, please send her his cash, but to protect his eyes, you know that all he eats is pizza chicken, fingers and fries, family man Family man devil's fan who gives get him his due to bad his family song, swindled like a pigeon. Thank you, sir. Thank you, sir. A pigeon? Yes, that is a cheetah. That's a whole ton of money.

Big bro, beard guy, a profit of rage, spends his time writing horror and just hanging with sage. Neighbors all hate him, house a skewed and ary, drop the pills and the pounds that he really looks like It's often been said that Bry can't hold a job, maybe it's PTSD from when his car was robbed That he makes more on Patreon than you, but me, so if you're giggin' at it's pull you better Sing on key, together they make tesdy money, brains and brawn, they're not top ten in time by number one on Patreon They care about the fans and the lies they save, but well just wants us to be over so This has been the production of SmartCo Internet Radio. Sir, only at smodcast.com.