Tell Em Steve-Dave - #397: Prank Superstar

Episode Date: January 15, 2019

Bry, Walt, and Q spend some alone time. Walt questions Bry’s boundaries. Music: The Radium Girls - Perigo Mines

I Said I say that wrong. Yeah fuck look out that out I know about things before I was born. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave. Seems quiet. It's because there's only three people here today. It's been a while. We need to dec- it has been some time. We've done a bunch of projects that haven't come out yet and the last couple pods have been like big.

Yeah, it gets out of control. It was starting to get to me a little bit. This is what I look forward to this, sort of like very intimate time to ourselves. Well, it's more like hanging out, like when we involve so many people in this project, the project, which is in the end good, because it's good to have all that stuff,

and I do enjoy doing it, but it seems more like work, less like, you're gonna go down hanging out, Walton Bryan. Yeah, well, there's so much coordination and shit that goes into a lot of people here the other night. Yeah, yeah. You'll hear about it in probably in four weeks? Yeah. I'm inside of them. Countdowns on to 400. What's episode this? This would be 397. So this one,

98, 99. So about, yeah, so about four-hmm 400 drops and the world will never be the same. I was considering Doing a fake number 400 dropping it and it would be that I saw comics that we did that they won't release I wanted to address Comment Because I don't I don't go to Reddit. And the main reason is that I hate spoiling what someone inevitably tells me for whatever fucking reason.

Like comments on Reddit. I love to just find out from other people what I'm not looking at on purpose. Oh shit. This would have been get them. And it's not a big deal, but I'm like, and I don't know why I would, like I would never go on to read it to address it,

but somebody mentioned a watch that I was wearing. Okay. And that it was spending all the Patreon money on. On a watch. On a watch. On a watch, right? Which one, I wasn't mad about it, but I was like, say, bring my car to a mechanic, right?

Yeah. And then I pay him and then he gives my car back. I don't question what he does with the money afterwards. It's not your money. It's his money. Now it's his money. Yeah. Because he's performed a service.

Sure. But something. So wait, people are saying that they paid into Patreon and then you have the gall? Mm-hmm. I guess it was a fancy watch. I'm just having a bunch of you. that they paid into Patreon and then you have the gall? I guess it was a fancy watch. So spend the money with the watch. The watch was like 3,200. Ooh, that is expensive watch.

Watch it now. It's a watch that, and this is the second part, that I've had for three years. So, and I might add, was given to me. Is it watch I got you? No, it's not the watch you got. It's a watch somebody else gave you. Have you given out $3,000 watches?

Oh, the watch I gave. No, they're all out. It was way more than that. Oh, I'm just like, what does it matter? Like what does it matter to anyone? That's what I mean. But does any of this shit matter to anyone? That just shows how you're stature in the world.

People are overthinking like when Kim K. Whereas like a necklace or something. Right. People are always speculating about the price. Now you're in that, you're in the same conversation now. I mean that same exact, it's like guys stuff. People are like speculating like how much the price been on that watch.

You know, it's the same, not as fevered or as many people as are wondering Probably close so yeah Wondering about Kim Kay's how much she spends on her accessories, but still I mean it just shows You've arrived. I guess so yeah. Oh haters haters. They're jelly. I suppose but yeah I just want to lay people's fears if you do have that fear no one not spending all your money on fancy watches. Well, I mean, you have a history of like going cuckoo with the accessories though, spending like hundreds of dollars on pens. Yeah. So I mean, maybe they were just looking out for

you. I hardly spend a dime anyway. I'm so long on anything major. Now when you buy, I feel like you need a pen. Are you gonna go by expensive pen or where you are? Will a big pen do? I don't like big pens. No, but I would get like a nicer gel pen where you might get three for like six bucks or something like that.

I might splurge. Yeah, it depends. Very important, man. Yeah. To bankers and fuck people who are signing contracts. He's a writer. Yeah, I said contracts. Oh, he writes.

Do you write what a pen or you write on your tablet? I write a lot of notes. I write a lot of notes. Yeah. I don't really like writing on the IPON. It's just an easy life upgrade too. Okay, you sell a nice pen. And it works out in the long run because you can buy you,

all right, so you spend, let's say, a hundred on the pen. And then the pen I use right now is like 30 bucks, but that's what I do, I just buy a refill. Sure, 30 bucks, right. And then the refills are over time will cost less than buying new pens. And less wasteful. Way less wasteful.

Which you could lose it though, then it's devastating. Sure, but you can't go through a life like that, and you could lose your family, you could lose everything. Yeah. Once my dignity went, I didn't care about pens anymore. I could lose a pen, I don't care about fuck. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, right? It's still unkind.

Still unkind as I remember it. I don't know, how long is it gonna take for this 100% approval rating? I mean, wait a minute, wait eight years. It'll happen. It'll eventually get that 100% before rating. I think so. Any day now we're gonna do the show

that they want us to do anything. Yeah, somebody complained about something the other day too. It was a Patreon person about one of the, I can't remember which might have been Space Monkeys. Oh yeah? Might have been, but I'm like, I don't even know what the point of this is. You gotta vote for your vote. Like if you don't know by now that like

It's just gonna be one of his then I don't know what to tell you just vote where you all it. I see you know I see you know book out is that with some of some of the notes you took with your Let me see if I can still find this if this is still oh god damn it Hold on That I pants causing your problems. I know see No, I had it on this link on duck duck go and Reminding me of you Walt. Did you see where the The child porn ring leader got the living shit? He actually got killed.

Where would I see that? The news. I looked, dude. I mean, look, the news is only political at this point, because there was a girl that they just found. Go on. Her parents are murdered. She's been missing for four months.

She was found yesterday, and that wasn't the fucking top news story. That was something about Trump. Yeah, I mean, how crazy is this world is where you find a girl, that a 13-year-old girl was kidnapped, her family was murdered, and she was found alive, and that's not the top story in the country. Dude, didn't you hear that Donald Trump was breathing hard while he was talking?

What the fuck, why is there not a 24 hour news source dedicated to that? If you complain about Trump at this point, you're a fucking asshole, you're an idiot. You offer nothing to the conversation, nothing. All you're complain. Shit like that, shit, they're like, he misspoke. You offer nothing to the conversation nothing all your plane Shit like that shit though. Oh, he misspoke like like these people that look for every tiny little thing I don't even fucking love the guy, but holy shit man like the obsession The demented fucking mindset it takes to find something like that and just fucking go after it And the other people do the same with the fucking weird socialist lady, AOC, who's dancing on a rooftop and they try to make something out of them.

I was like, who the fuck, what? It's like, what are you trying to show me that she looks hot in college? Oh my God, she's got great tits. It's like, if you were showing me that, I'm being like, hey, check her out. She looks pretty good. As opposed to like, oh, can you believe

she's recreating the breakfast club dance? But like that's great news story. I mean, it's a good, feel good story too. Is it? She was probably raped and like all sorts of horrible things. But she's alive though. She's alive though. And written off her dead and you know,

I mean, it's so rare. This is that Elizabeth Smart all over again. And it's a story that like, you a story that makes you at least feel good that she's alive. Yeah, she's gonna have a lot of things to overcome. I mean, some of the things that no one can really, I mean, you can't even imagine. But at the end of the day though, she survived.

She's fought to live and she made it. She got away. Oh, this chick. I saw this a while ago, yeah. It happened yesterday. No, no, no, I mean, I remember this girl going missing. Yeah. Yeah, and like, is it a creepy, like 911 call,

thinking here, scuffling and then nothing. Oh, really? Yeah, they can't find the hurt. Where was she? She was kidnapped by some psycho. 21-year-old man, shadow Wisconsin, couple of death at their home in a scheme to kidnap their teenage daughter and then held her for three months in an isolated town before she managed to escape. 13 year old girl. The news that Jamie was set up was safe

set off joy and relief 60 miles away in her hometown. I don't know to me. I know I know what you're saying. It's like that's not to know. No, you're right. It's to be celebrated Great to hear like like you know that like that somebody survived that you know, I know because whatever happened Whatever happens next she's a lot. Yeah, right. That's how I felt when Elizabeth smart was found I remember like just feeling like That was the top news story, but that when that happened. Yeah, if you remember, but that feeling of like, like, I felt good for her parents because you could see how happy they were. Now, her parents are. You see her eyes, man, like when she was smart up back like her eyes,

we're just like, you see her father's eyes. Oh, yeah, yeah. They was already eyes of somebody whose prayers were answered, you know, with like, it was amazing. Like, it felt so good for that guy. Now, her parents aren't alive, but she has to have family, though, that are going to feel the same way that Elizabeth smarts parents felt to see her when they see her again for the first time when they reunite them. As a fucking society, but how is your job? How, yes. So how is that?

Like, if you're producing the news programs, how the fuck do you still lead with? Like, yeah, Trump misspelled a tweet this morning it like I would feel let's all make fun of them I feel like we're also fucking smart if we were president we'd have it all figured out yeah fucking dopes but he but at the end but also I guess you they have to pay the bills and the bills are paid by fucking this divisive news coverage. The vice of? Is that a dice? I don't know. Fuck.

We'll cut that out. No, we won't. I definitely won't. I'm just emotional. That's why I misspoke. Yeah, Jamie Claus is back. It's a great story, man. It would only be better if he was gunned out. I don't want to make I mean, it's a great story, man. Oh, that, well, I don't want to be bad if he was gunned down. I don't want to make it sound like it's a great story.

But it's great that you was found alive. Yeah. The guys alive? They caught, yeah, the guy who did it. Then he, like, fall asleep or something. I think he fell asleep and she walked out. Yeah, I thought that when I heard the story last night, I didn't know they didn't have any details of how she got away from them.

It's said that she just walked away. Hold on, I'm so glad. You were not the iPad, it's like a fucking... No, I put in the wrong word. Do you like monkey with a stick? Yes, it's... When you're when they stick it down to your hand, you try to get it inside of it.

I'm like a... I'm like a... We're trying to lick hands off his iPad. It's an app, they're just crawling all over. Do you try and use that iPad in front of Mary? Fucking kidding me. I might as well whip out a one inch stick. I don't know.

I don't think you've ever come. I don't know if you've ever come to the stage with an iPad. Have you or use your phone? Use your phone normally. But do you think you look like that when you use an iPad? I don't think so. What do I look like? I went the fuck you talking about.

I wrote instead of here, there's like confusion and anger rolled in the phone. I can't see anything. I'm fucking eagle eye over here. When I use my iPad, when we're doing the games, everything's like, I look like that. No Do you look like you're sleeping? He's like So much I thought you were a Ming

But I'm not like I'm not pulling on my iPad like it's a living creature Like when I can't see something that it's Like when I can't see something that it's like What the fuck is that? What the fuck? There's a bear trying to hold a fish I don't have a posable thumb Yeah, yeah, yeah, see you know what's around the corner What is it?

Valentine's Day, hearts and cupids and chocolates and flowers and all that kind of stuff But you know it's more romantic than all of that. Underpants. That's right. Valentine's Day is right around the corner rather than spending all that money going out to fancy restaurants. Why not just hang in your underwear all night courtesy of me undies? Pop on your me undies. You watch some TV, you Netflix and chill, maybe have a little dinner at home, skip the crowded restaurants, skip all that nonsense, right? What's more romantic than hanging around watching TV in your underpants?

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Sandpaper. Sandpaper. Mm-hmm. See this? That's sandpaper. Feel it. Ooh. Yeah, that's what my underwear used to be made out of when I was a kid. That's all we had with sandpaper underpants. Can you imagine it? Yeah. You'd love it?

I do. You think you'd love it? You can get a style that is perfectly suited for you. There are all kinds of cuts, colors, adventurous prints. I prefer the boxers or the boxer briefs. Sometimes I feel a little saucy. I'll pop on some bikini briefs. I don't need to know about that. This Valentine's Day, me and these are going to be releasing a new print every Tuesday. Oh, this Valentine's season. Valentine's Day season. It's a whole season now. A made up holiday, which you've got a day at one time is now, it's a whole season. That means you and your loved one can chill and matching prints for Valentine's Day

and play the game how long can we keep these on? You know what that means? What? It means that when you're watching TV and the show is so great and you don't want to get up, sometimes you pee in your pants a little. So I think that's what Mjondi's means. Is that how long can you keep a mom before you pee them and you got to change them?

The why stop of Mjondi's. This year they're launching their Valentine's Day print in Lounge pants and onesies. Both are made from the same fabric and they have a great offer. It's good. I'm and they have a great offer. It is good. I'm going to save a little money. For any first time purchasers, when you order me undies, you get 15 per purchasers. You get me undies. Let me try that again.

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Okay. What time is it? You don't know? Hey mama. Yes, no more wonderful time of the year. Says no one ever post new year's eve. Alright, we're talking about post meets the holidays over and winter is here. Very cold outside right? We don't like to go outside. What do you like to do? To plant a hog. You like to play the

park? Yeah. In the cold? No. What do you like to do when it's cold out? Play with your toys, watch your movie, hang inside in your room. What you don't want to do is go outside and get food, right? So you can get anything you need to live straight to your couch. I know a lot of times at 4 p.m. you like to have a glass of red wine. They can do it. Pizza. A two in the morning. And a breakfast burrito. Eight in the morning. You do you. Postmates doesn't judge. They just deliver. Uh, in parentheses, it says Kevin, feel free to change these and mention healthy foods. If it's more authentic, uh-oh. I think I got Kevin's in this copy somehow. Huh. Let's quick read it before we get in trouble. For a limited time, postmates is giving you $100

of free delivery credit for your first seven days. To start your free deliveries, download the app today and use the code TESD100. That's code TESD100 for $100 off free delivery for your first seven days. Get anything you need, anytime you need it. Download postmates and save with code TSD100. I guess they have a lot of stuff

because I'm looking at a second script that says, if you like parties, right? I do. And your birthday's coming up. Yep. You were very first, how old are you gonna be? How old are you gonna be? Oh, usually.

If you're 12 now? 12 now. And then you're gonna be? Oh, usually. If you're 12 now? 12 now. And then you're going to be 13 next? Yes. Teenager? No. I can't take it. Anyway, postmates doesn't just have food.

We have moons or a disco ball. Champagne, they can bring it. Whatever it is, they can give it. They can give it to you. That's what Postmates does. I was not aware of what post-mage did until earlier today I'm earlier to the meme moments before we read this I'm gonna give it a try how about you you can do it all right ready party party party join in D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. D. F. beaten to death. Nice.

Now, it doesn't matter at the end of the day, why prisoners are inmates kill these people, but do you think there's an immediate reprieve from certain things happen to you status or do you think it's truly 100% about outrage? Or do you think there's some other factors that play into why they'll go beat the shit and kill this person?

I think even for prison has its traditions, right? Sure, those guys are never safe, right? You go in there and now. Right, but not from everything I've heard. So let's say you're incarcerated. Yeah. And your soulmate is this dude, are you killing him? Me?

Yeah, you're gonna get out next month. No, next month. No. No. I'd be like, I mean, that really guys are really back at being the core of me. He says he wouldn't kill John. So she's a foreign leader.

Yeah. Does this constitute approval endorsement even? I'm like, well, let's let the court handles this one, guys. When we talk about this next month and a day, we'll revisit this. But I'm saying, is there do certain things come your way if you're the killer then? Oh, um. Why you're in jail? like certain statuses raised. I don't, I don't know, but if I had the guess, I don't think so,

because I think it's the equivalent of like swatting a bug. Look at this. Oh, you mean to the other inmates? Yeah. You just, you just killed somebody. Somebody had to do it. Yeah, you're like, you didn't take the biggest guy on in the yard. Yeah. You took the, the, I don't think it's looked down upon. I think it's just like, no, no, no, no, no, no, look down upon. But I like, I don't know, but I guess more props, not props, but I guess you get more, you get more leeway, your statuses, you walk out of your way.

If you, if you take on the biggest guy in the yard and you, you kill him rather than, sure, but you're still going to get something for killing that piece of shit. I heard that. Warren dude, right? Like, don't go after the biggest guy. Because if you go after the biggest guy in UK is S There's a whole bunch of other guys that are like black guys opposed to y'all kick your ass So like now you're inviting all these different fights. Oh, man. You're so sort of shit I didn't even consider

My aunt because when I I always tell you the only one with experience inside a prison But I always said though if I ever have to go to prison. I'm gonna all just find the biggest guy and I'll just take him on and After your beaten senseless what's your next move? Something you're in solitary for that's your career. That's good Would you prefer solitary of then Jen pot? What's that like general general population? You know just a reason Lingo. Yeah, mm-hmm Well, I've heard that There is these two wackos who made a bet with each other. These two poker people.

Right. And they one bet the other that they couldn't survive in a bathroom with no lights for 30 days. Okay. And the guy couldn't do it. Like you go and crazy if you're going to solitary confinement. So I don't know if I'd want to be in solitary confinement. Yeah, I would be rough. You might want to just take your chances with everybody else.

I don't know if here's big, here's big Baba looking at you at the shower. I can't get him. What's he doing? He'll be my roommate. What are you doing? He depends on hot suckers. Yeah. Yeah, you got him.

I ain't doing bud. How you feeling?socks. Yeah, or a soft one. Yeah, you get him, hey, no one but. No, no, no. How you feeling, get him? What has he been sick? Yeah, he's got the flu. And he's here, huh? Yeah. Isn't that what a responsible person does?

Well, how long did your sentence have to be before you're like, okay, I'll kill this dude. I don't wanna kill anybody. But if you to be before you're like, okay, I'll kill this dude. I don't want to kill anybody, but if you have, if you're like, look, there's no way I'm getting out. And they put it. Yeah, then what difference does it make? You would, you would get, you would be putting segregation for a little while, but there's so many people. I don't want to, I don't want to share a room with a fucking pedophile.

Yeah, so, but there's a room. I'm dressing it up. Who aren't getting out? Why don't they have the same attitude of like, well, nothing matters what I do. There's no repercussions for what I do now. What they get inside the jail. Yeah, well, they get punished.

They would still be punished. They could have like their privileges taken away, the canteen, all that shit, you know, they may not be able to go on the yard. Like, this is stuff that means a lot. When somebody's like, Hey, you're not gonna get that fucking candy bar. Now you're like, I should kill myself.

I say that on the outside. No, this doesn't. Can't imagine if a canteen was taken away. Now, the prison guards and the head of the prison, what kind of price did they pay? Did they lose their jobs for allowing this guy to get killed knowing that like he's enemy number, public enemy number one. So I doubt us bullseye on the head.

Either they want it to happen or it's just like it's prison. That's what happens sometimes. The warden doesn't have to like pay like with his pension for that. I don't think so. They're like, yeah, they killed a fucking child rapist. Now you don't get a pension. Well, the fuck would take that job? You got to rely on a bunch of animals.

It's a not kill and even worse animal. Wait a minute. So you say there's no repercussions for how he runs the prison? No, I mean, I think that there's probably some administrative shit. There's a bunch of paperwork and that would be annoying. And you might get something in your file.

But no pension. I don't think they're taking away. I don't think they're going to garnish you. If that wasn't a table, you think you'd still be alive today? No. Unless they, I mean, the only way to keep him alive is to put him, all totally by himself. Because even if you put him with other,

like there's still probably a pecking order of those guys, like that whole sex offender. Oh, yeah. Like let's say you're just a regular rapist versus a child rapist. I don't know, but maybe they look down on them, you know? And they're like, I think that this guy, because he went after a kid. Who the fuck knows?

God, I hope I know. We should do a Sunday driver where we go to a prison and have Jeff interview. We find somebody we can visit like we could get me sitting right for. Sunday, Jeff, yeah, that would be interesting. Or like Sunday, Jeff goes on the inside for like total immersive Gonzo style journalism. I think there's a cap with a hat in it. And that would be, I mean, a cap with a camera in it. I would wash it.

Would you, you wouldn't watch it? What? Sunday, Jeff. Oh, yeah, I mean, there's a man that doesn't belong in prison. The world's toughest prisons. In that of which interview a prisoner. But anyway, so they kill this guy and it made me think of your plan to sacrifice people who are born short.

Oh, the image it to pose as children to keep catapiles from from breaking the law. Right. Keep them on the kind of like that maybe a program to keep them on the straight and narrow. Like I'm feeling like I may offend. I may offend. Where's my magic?

Call me like doctor, prescribe me a dwarf. Right. Yeah. Insurance would pay for it basically. I love that these dwarves and midgets are willing to have sex with the worst elements of humanity. These pieces of shit. Well, you don't think that they have the same like weird fetishes that like normal

size people have like they're like who's fetishizing about having sex with a pedophile? No, but like they want to have sex probably with normal size people though. Regardless of what they look like or they're fucking morality Well, they what's the call when you when you compartmentalize something you justify it You're doing a you're doing a service every time you sleep with this piece of shit, you're maybe saving the kid. Right. Like, it's a lot to ask for.

Like let's say it. And you get paid big bucks too. Right. It's a government funded program now. How much does everyone know that government employees rake it in? For each like session, A date with no sex. Yeah. Thousand bucks.

Thousand bucks. A date with consummation. Yeah. Five grand. Wow. What happens in the government shutdown like we're in now. Oh, yeah, then you got to keep doing it for free. Yeah.

And hope that you pay. But that pay. But they might not be that good. So you you may get the money that you've already earned if you're lucky. Back pay with interest. Yeah. How's that? I don't think that's how it works.

For these, for these, for these, this is like a special, like, almost like CIA. This is like seal of people. Right. Like these trained to say the right things, they're psychologically profiled. To be children, to seal your lips and pretend you're a child. Then they also, you know, they, they can offer some sort of therapeutic. I would love to get a therapist to, to, to really evaluate

this idea of yours. I got one. Oh, I have it. I totally medicated. Yeah. I have a doctor who wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on.

My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on.

My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on. My therapist wants to come on anymore. You guys seem like you are in such great places now. You're what your new gal, you don't seem as broken as you have been in previous years. You seem much, much happier. You see, you turned a corner once you got healthy. You've never looked back and felt that kind of like,

so like, why am I bringing a doctor in? We all know, I mean, I've been good since the day one. What does he know? Or is he now or she or they He did say that he like I told me would be kind of like me to ever see Metallica this kind of monster No, but I know they're conceived behind it like yeah, they had a therapist come on. They filmed all their sessions He thought it would be a kind of like that and I said yeah, it would be kind of like that And he said because I'd want to know what I was walking into I you know

I don't want to walk into something where I wouldn't want my name attached to it. So bringing up this scenario with the dwarves and everything that could be troublesome for a therapist to weigh in on. It may hurt his credibility with his patient. Well, what if he doesn't give a say? Like it'd be Dr. X. Yeah, was he fucking glory-hound? He needs his fucking name all over the place?

I could ask him. I went in beautiful downtown Red Bank. Oh, visit Dr. Zim. So he comes in and he's a licensed and, you know, well, he should be afraid to take on a fucking patient or patients. Well, I don't know if this is a patient scenario. This is like confidentiality.

He's throwing out a scenario that could revolve. Well, I don't know if this is a patient scenario. This is like confidentiality. Throwing out a scenario that could revolt. I mean, repulse people. Right. I mean, most people I would think I would never say this to like if I was at the family dinner table, I wouldn't break out this. Well, you want to bring it up? No, you're going to float this one by the fam.

No, when I would like if my mom was over, I wouldn't be like, no, I've been thinking about this idea I got Oh, man, I gotta show you something we'll keep talking I gotta show you something until I forget I forgot about so essentially like Let's say you have this unrepentant heroin addict, right? What unrepentant heroin addict just like one of these people that like they just can't not take heroin. It's got to do it no matter how much they are relying. Like already lying for example.

You instead of having this guy do what he's doing or people who don't have money like already, you know, the who are robbing houses to get their fixed or stealing cars or whatever, you're giving them drugs. You're essentially like, you're bettering society by giving him what he wants. Just guy, right? And that's kind of the same thing as the Midgets, with the pedophile. Like, if the pedophile has his Midget, then there will be no true victim. If the heroin guy has his heroin, he has his fix, and he's not out there robbing houses, there's really no victim anymore.

Yeah, I don't like the idea of normalizing pedophilia in any way, shape or form. Like giving drug addicts drugs is like, well, they're an addict, they can't control themselves. Like, by giving, giving in an inch. It's a different file. It's a different file. It's a different file. But the people say that about pedophiles, they can't help themselves.

Well, those people, there's a lot of liberals that, that's in them. Oh, I've heard no liberals get on this. Oh, no, no, no, I'm not talking about your garden variety liberal, I'm talking about your libdondos. I'm talking about your hardcore fuck ups that are like, they shouldn't be shamed. It's a sexual orientation we should recognize.

It's probably other fuck ups. Yeah, those are people who are, you're feeling the same. Even suggested. Yeah. Even suggested. It's like, it's just a sexual orientation. It's like, but why not?

I don't remember. Why not? Any of the liberals and the news ever taken on this one? No, I think most would not. Most would not. As I'm saying, you're talking your far, far, far, far left contingent. So, I don't like normalizing it either, but if it were to save a child from this happening,

I don't know, man, I have a hard time thinking rationally about this issue. Look, if you're asking me, I would say, take a mild, yell or style. If this is this person has, because sometimes though, I would say, take them out old, yellow-er style. If this is this person, it's because sometimes, though, kids are like, oh, this happened, it didn't really happen. If you have 100%, you film, whatever. Guaranteed, this person did it.

Right. Boom, dots. And that's it. Well, it just happened, though. And jail. I know. Yeah, but there's lots of guys on our jail. Or that go to jail and this doesn't happen to them.

That's why they have like certain wings for them so that they can, you know, walk around and compare notes and shit, three huts in a cup. Tax money, Q, going to these purves. Well, I'd rather my tax money go towards keeping the wall to streets than to fucking everybody else who has their fucking hand out in this country. Yeah.

You know, I do know, I do know. Yeah, I do know. Back in my day, I actually turned a corner on socialism. Oh, no, I did. Here's it because, you know, my, I might, my stated view on is that social and evil. You can't just steal shit from people to give to other people. Right. But it made some of what you weren't.

Yeah. Oh, you want to keep out whatever you weren't greedy. We're not going to give you anything back for anyway. I've turned the corner where it's like, because you look at what's what's your name? OAC AOC right? OC. Yeah, I also and There's no way look you know how tough would be to steal this country to socialism But let's say that they succeed the day they do I get to retire I would just retire That's true. I would not make another sense of the rest of my life.

I'd be like, great, we're socialists now, sweet. But, I mean. But you still have to keep paying taxes. Yeah, it's not like you get to start with. Why am I not earning any money? Oh, it's a no way. What's that? You have no money in the bank?

But that's earn money, don't pay 30 million. It would just, yeah, it would just be like property tax. We got to pay money anyway. We got got pay money anyway. That's not new. Well, and because of social and what I began a little my way, my income is fucking low. You should get your fair share. So not you come here. Income. Your poverty level, bro. Fucking low poverty level. So I would be getting money from these rich mother fuckers in every towers, hoarding all their money. So now I'm actually turning around, I'm looking at this like a good thing.

There's no, I don't understand the incentive and socialism. Like I don't understand like what, because most people by nature are like, wait, I can just get something and I don't have to really put anything into it. Oh yeah. You know why not. Somebody else will take care of it. Not since. I love it now. I'm on board. All right. I'm on board with it. Socialist. Be cute. If it happened you probably when it does happen, if it does happen, you probably when it does happen if it does happen you probably would be close to retirement age anyway yeah yeah because it's not going to be an overnight thing. No, but but now you know what I

think it in all seriousness I know I just I think give it a shot see what happens and if it don't work out to bring back to bring back to you know I don't think it's that easy. I don't know that you do you know how much reform you would have to do like suddenly everybody's got we put a man on the moon we could we can go we can go socialist Do you know how much reform you would have to do? Like suddenly everybody's getting... Where the fuck is the money? Oh, did we? We put a man on the moon, we can go socialistic and then go back if it doesn't work out. Give it 25 years. Why? Why do you, okay, so the rest of our life? Why would you want to do that, though? I don't understand. You guys are not working for a lot of people the way it is right now, so let's give it a shot the other way.

And if that don't work, they're like, okay. But we already know it doesn't work. We know it. We know for a fact it people the way it is right now. So let's give it a shot the other way. And if that don't work, they're like, okay, but we already know it doesn't work. We know for a fact it doesn't work. You've seen it fail so many times. Move down the Venezuela, you'll have fucking socialism so much. You can go eat a dog. We'll do it different.

We'll learn from the past mistakes. No, it's, it's, we're talking about, so you're not rewriting the tenants and you just, you'll have to, it can't be, they'll have to be some things that are, to not go down Venezuela's ways, we'll have to, it can't be, they'll have to be some things that are to not go down Venezuela's ways, we'll have to change certain things. Just like, like just put a little democracy in there.

No, no, no, what happened in Venezuela? I made it go off the rails. Like what was it? Isn't it just like there has to be someone in charge? And that person's going to be corrupt. Everybody's corrupt. And there's still rich people in socialism. Yeah. How? Well, usually they people in socialism. Yeah.

How? Well, usually they're government officials. Right. But that one happened here, though. No, no. Yeah. Our fucking officials would never take kickbacks or pay-offs or fucking graft or any of that shit. If they do, well, put them in prison.

Why haven't you doing it now then? They already do it. Yeah. So why aren't you doing it now? they already do it. Yeah, so why are you doing it now? What fucking fifties bullshit dream world are you walking around? politicians are aren't going to jail for stealing some do but lots don't

take in bribes lots don't how do you know? Because I read so you're talking I read you know how many fucking the car spent got do you have gotten DUIs and. That's not but they didn't go to jail Well, the fuck it's a crime that's that's like that's like who you know? That's the old boys club It's like okay. He's the congressman. Well, give him a pass. Well, what's the difference if they take a bribe and give him a pass? Yeah, that's just as a leave. Yeah, it's in fact it may be But I tell you what, you can't eradicate that level of corruption.

You can't eradicate anything. You can eradicate, like given a politician a parking ticket, you know, that, making it go away, you can't. Let's not, let's go, let's aim higher than that. Let's just worry about politicians stealing billions of dollars and millions of dollars. And then I'm not even worried about that. We can work on it. We can get it. I don't care about any of it. dollars and millions of dollars. And then I'm not worried about that.

We can work on it. We can get it. I don't care about any of it. I don't really care. It's way easier for you. If it were to happen, I mean, I wouldn't usher it in. But if it were to happen, it's easier for you to be like, fuck it. I'm not working on it.

Oh God, yeah. I wouldn't work a day in my life if they were like, and they already take 50 percent. Like, so she's, she's only talking to seven these. You know, but whatever. Something light. Okay, you want something to take it out on a light. I don't want to talk about politics or anymore. I don't want to talk about any of that shit

because I don't pay attention on any of it. And you don't care. You're the better one. I don't really care that much. What do you got that's light something popcorn? Please not about dead children or children being Crimes being committed against so you so you don't want to talk about our Kelly than I guess Well, something good in the entertainment world. There's got to be something good. All right. Well, I consider I consider us entertainers

Okay, here's something good. You were saying that you would not have that conversation about the dead, the dead porn king. Oh, yeah, the, the midgets and all that. Yeah, that's, that's one I, I had to choose the, the, I had to take the temperature of the room. And who's in it before I break, I break out that one. This is the room that you would do it in. It's the only room.

Yeah. It's the only room that, that room that that conversation can be discussed without people like going like, you know, we need to call a doctor. That's real sick. So here's my question. Then would you do this on Christmas morning Christmas morning to your wife and front of your family. Give her a gift and then like you know the kids are there, moms like all everybody's there and then this is oh god damn it hold on. Hold on. I pressed it. It's crazy. Oh my god be quiet. Fuck it got alright you're right. I don't even know what excuse. I don't know what to say anymore. Yeah, you're right I can't see in the fucking

Okay, all right now I got it Well you do is fucking hit the triangle and it would have worked Why do you know because the the thing was the sound is fucking down and I thought I might have gotten too far ahead Okay, who is that so that's Mary Beth opening her? This is not your Pam's house? That's Pam's house. No, what I did was wrapped it up, put some Mary Beth from Pam and Edgar, and then put it under the tree. Is that some sort of sex toy?

I'm not saying it's a sex toy. What is it? It's a vibrator. Oh, did you really want to text toy? Yeah. Look how red she is. Prank Super. Prank Super.

I've been pranking people lately. Listen to pans. That's not a real laugh. No. That's a nervous laugh. Like, I don't want my son to run out of here if I say something. I don't know. I thought you were going to say that.

That's what I laugh. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. Frank Superstar probably. Like that. Like that. Like that.

Do you like that? My son is a prank superstar. That's what it says, that's what it says on my stocking prank superstar. So you went back after you stormed out of the car. No, there's just before that, that was before that, I was gonna play her laugh again. Maybe it was an envious laugh.

It's like, oh, oh, oh. There she is. So you would not do something like that. Then oh my God, I would. Oh my God. No, that is super stuff. Yeah. What if you're the only way that I'm trying to brand? Let's say I gave that out and if the whole family like mother-in-law everybody brother-in-law Everybody's had around open-and-presence and I gave my wife I'm married I would then I would stand up and I would tell everybody in the room. I'll be like There's there is a sharp shooter outside and he has and there's a gun on me and that's why I'm doing this That's the only way I could ever do that.

Would somehow seem less crazy. That's the only way that they would forgive me. That's the only way that they would forgive me. I had to give you this gift. The only way it would be under the threat of somebody was going to murder me, that I would do that. Yeah, what are you thinking? I'm thinking this might be funny.

But I mean, you're funny. Blame Q, he didn't tell me not to do it He was the only other person who knew was gonna happen. Oh, so you I tell him I was like, wait, think of this should I do is he's like So what it's so what's the alternative not to you to not do it, but how did that will never know how it turns out? Not watching the end of a movie or reading the end of a book? I don't know. How does that not carry you through the day though though? Like how do you not then just like suck it up then when when Pam says something about you know the Fitbit

and you fly into a rage you weren't flying off the high of giving the mar mirror. Because the prank superstar just made everyone's Christmas. What's my thanks? Oh my god. You know? Because it was, it was like, yeah, was it having a good time? It was fun and then all of a sudden it's like, hey, I want to work my Fitbit for the first time in four years. But how did Mary Beth?

She thought it was funny. She thought it was funny. Yeah, she had a good Sunday. Could she, though, say like I was really, really, don't ever do that to me again. Could she say that with, and not ruin Christmas? I mean, is it to me? Because of it's to me, then no. I could prank superstar.

Look, you knew that when you met me. I was the prank superstar. I was wearing a t-shirt that said prank superstar. I was at least talking about getting one made, and made that. You are now have to, that is now your, you are now prank superstar from now. Please tell me you have bright superstar that come you got it better believe it better believe it. If she shows any sign of like oh I really wish she didn't do that. Let's leave it on that she's laughing and she still says I really wish she didn't do that. Is that enough? Or is that going too far? There's gonna have to be 100% approval for it.

What world do you think I live in there? I think it'd be pretty surprised at the approval rating. I get sometimes so much so that I'm like, did you hear me? What I just said was funny. What do you made a stone over here? Put that popcorn bowl down. Yeah, that's fine.

Popcorns for laughers. I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, does she not hear me? Because what I'm saying is I got a text that's cute, because I'm like, if I don't get a respawn for her. I'm like, ah, she was a listener before. Yeah. So did she find the podcast funny? She did. She did. Yeah, she bought all this, she had bought all this stuff, like all the extra pods, the bonus pods. So she was a putt-knots listener. So you would think that it would just be 24-7 laughing then. I think that's maybe what she thought, and then she's like, oh, this is the reality of it.

He's now, about, I don't know, two, three weeks ago. He said he was a pinball twin, and now I was saying, he's a prank superstar, and I don't know two three weeks ago. He said he was a pinball twin and now I was saying he's a prank superstar And I don't know what's gonna happen next week. He humiliated me with this new character at least pinball twins He would just walk around saying weird stuff He was talking about some actor I never heard of and yeah from a show that was on in 1940s 1975 My god, what the fuck I know about things before I was born

Yeah, I think I do think that at times I'm just annoying like I'll catch myself because like at night Sometimes maybe smoke something little something and then I'll just go on and on and on like spinning scenarios and shit And I think like most I would say 95% of the time it's well received other times. I'm like I think I might be annoying right now. I got to take a step back. Yeah, also she's so you're the scenario you're in a scenario mode a lot. It's almost non-stop. I mean my whole friendship with the the We think happened when we went over to the moon. I've never been a fan of the scenario mode. Yeah Oh, it's so fun. It's exhausting after a while. Yeah, so if you live Yeah, I can see that but like when I went over to cues where it will like before we watch movies

We're talking about like Vietnam vets like returning home from From from Vietnam and we're playing different like I'm playing two roles of two different army vets. He's playing two roles where each playing a Vietnamese refugee. Sometimes the storylines merge. They don't even have anything to do with each other. They're just going back. We're in a parade. It's like, I mean, yeah. I mean, it was fun.

It's fun. But there was a fight. I was fun. What the fuck? What the fuck? Were we well received in the parade by the way? So now that she's being killed, I wonder what it'd be? Who's standing behind me? Where? I'll get him. Whoa, whoa, wait. Now that has Mary Beth found herself

since now she's got Tom Steve Dave. She's living tell them Steve Dave. 24, seven has she found herself not needing tell them Steve Dave in her life though the actual podcast. Oh, she's found that for quite some time. Oh, so she needs to listen. I lost her so listen. She leaves the house when he does what he does it.

So what? So what? So what? So as soon as I leave, me at least in case you come back in a sneak back in. That was a good one. Wasn't it? Aren't you laughing?

Remember that movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase? Funny Farm. Yeah, when they bought the farm. They buy the farm and he writes the book and he asks his wife to read it right in front of them And he's like he's reading the book and she turns the page He's like there are at least three big laughs on her speech alone So so wait are you telling me that we had a listener? Mm-hmm that was buying all our shit. Yeah, and now we now she's not buying anything because she just getting to well She's getting the milk for free

she's not buying anything because she just getting to, well she's wanting, she's getting the milk for free. Yeah. Oh man, you can't do it, man. Yeah. You gotta make sure that like, you know, you, you're gonna fuck us into poverty. I wonder if I break up with her, she'll become a listener again.

That's where the risk. That's where the risk. I would want to hear. Can you, can you, can you do camera? Can you record that story just a little series to be like, you know, if we break up, would you go back to being a hardcore listener or do you feel you couldn't listen never again? You want me to secretly record? I don't know, I mean, that sounds creepy, secretly record.

But I'm just curious, I remember bringing her in, maybe I would love to. I mean, it doesn't just sound it, it is, but I'll do it. That's how I make my living, man. Yeah, secretly recording people. Yeah, but then you're good. And then I'll break up with her maker crying. I'll be like, break super star! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You can look at the four practices of the, uh, when you're on the fact that they didn't know any better back then. But the injustice of the historic cost for companies knowing very well that the product they were using actively killed their employees, actively killed their employees.

Did it everything in their power to silence any of your own children, praying on the poverty of the food This is the work and job to the women that we're living in The The The The The The The The

The The The The The The The The

The Everything It's just a, still going in their pockets, vitality and love Through the states with that we stroke, watching the end, not watching, we still make this toll It's only against the king's action This king is the king's force of the world Six of them are the kings Six of them are the kings Six of them are the king's force of the world Six of them are the king's force of the world Six of them are the kings

Six of them are the king's force of the world Six of them are the kings Six of them are, Seek the power of the world, Seek the power of the world, Seek the power of the world, Seek the power of the world, Seek the power of the world, Seek the power of the world. The truth and the truth, The truth and the truth. Yes, then we need to keep on going

I'll be your valiant rose You should rise sweet rain here Talk to the decomposter Poster Step it out and take your home Make a little touch here You think the dip is supposed to Poster You would take the depicts, balls turn They're not there 1.5% 1.5% 1.5%

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1.5% 1.5% 1.5% Everything is a switch show Still going in their carpet, my guarantee's been wrong Through a nace, but every stroke stroke Want to meet your dark watchin' Meet you in the big this tall day Tired, tired, tired, tired, you know Is your eyes sweet, radio, top top, deep, composed That's enough to take your home Make a neck point toxic, you can get that spouser

We talk, there is no reason we're in We can be the same, if so now we're in Take the hells and throw it, there's no reason to care And as a sign, all you know and why That is no reason we're in The injustice of historic roles for companies dealing very well with the product they were using active heat-type metal proteins. However, they didn't die in vain, as their point established the right-wing individuals to see for damages or corporations to come to work. The radiant girls were so contaminated by the time they died that it was still totally This has been a production of SmartCo Internet Radio.

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