Tell Em Steve-Dave - #410: BM Bounty Hunters

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

Walt & Git 'Em conspire to cheat animal services. Bry & Mike envision a 2nd career

Thank God I got that fucking kissing disease. Now you're cool. I'm going to take off the Dr. Undergerman now. Tell them Steve Dave. Thank you. I want to put you out your misery. You're just a sad sad. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave. Walt this is a very exciting edition. We've got 75% of the comic book men here.

Oh, hey guys, how you doing? How you doing? No mic. I'm curious by Mike Zapsick. What's up boys? Can we still refer to ourselves as the comic book man? Or formally the comic book man? Formally the comic.

Formally known as the comic book man. We'll get one of those really weird, like, I don't know the symbols well we're doing that we're doing me and Mike and and Meg are doing the show in Washington no polyap polyap polyap polyap Washington probably saying not this way we can next weekend What is it 14th or something I think so whatever this weekend is is not this weekend. It's looking it up Thanks, but yeah, it's like we're the comic book man, but not really not anymore. Where is it like if you're a cop in your heart You're always a cop. Yeah, it's like You're so synonymous both of you with with the with the roles of Mike and Brian.

People can't think of Mike and Brian. You cannot help but be typecast. Not an integrate way, you know, beloved way. Is that why I'm not getting any more work I've been typecast? I don't know. You're filming and parking lots all across this great space. That's true. That is true. It's the that is true it's the 15th and 16th 15th and 16th to fun come wash the Washington long flight it's a long one about as

long as it gets the part sucks I was I was watching I went to a casino over this past weekend with Q. Q, like they did a show and IJ show. And um, I totally fucking just lost, I totally just lost my triathlon all the second I'm trying to, wait, what was that talking? You're talking about, talking about show this weekend. Las Vegas. I don't know, where was the casino at?

Casinos in the cat skills. I don't know why I was bringing up the casino though. I mean, because we were going to Polyapp Washington. The Poehab Washington. Tell him Steve Dave. Thank you. Oh, I put you out your misery. Yeah.

Sad, sad, sad. Whatever it is. Except sure the check, boys. He's his 20 bucks in the roommate. Okay, now I know where he's going. Okay, now I got it. I'm not cutting any of that. I've turned daughtering. Sorry, bro.

Seriously, that was like a mini stroke, just right there. Yeah, like a burning hair. Even his was more fluid. That right there. Yeah, like burning. Even his was more fluid. Right. At least he was bouncing and his eyes were rolling. It was as you could tell he was alive. Yeah, I was just like, fuck,

what was I talking about again? Okay. Yeah. So I went to this, I went to this casino in the cat skills with Q and I know the guys a bit. And while I was there, I watched this show. It was on MTV and it's called How Far Is Tattoo Far? All right, Snooki Hostsit.

And the show is basically like, you're a couple. Like you and Julia go in and you're having some sort of disagreement, right? And for whatever reason you've decided, we're going to decide on tattoos for each other. Okay. It's just like therapy to help with your problem. If you're having, you know how,

everyone's been in this situation with another couple, where like there's a girl and a guy and like one of them will like hand-handedly make a joke about something that you know they're not really not quite joking about They're looking for you to be a mediator of sorts, you know like right right so maybe that's kind of what this is except Then you have a tattoo to remember it by permanently. Wow. So like one of the situations was the girl, like they're like in their mid-twenties, early twenties most of these people. The girl is upset that he spends too much time working on his car and he wants, she wants him to not work on his car anymore.

So then they go away and they get tattoos and hers was like, it was weird, it was just like a sexy cat or something, but his was, it wasn't like photo realistic, but it was of a guy like sweating in his tongue hanging out, banging his car from behind. So this guy has this tattoo now, I guess forever. He chose it or did the producers choose that?

No, the girlfriend had chosen. Who knows with the shows, but they say the girlfriend shows it and that's the way it's supposed to go. So it's a reality show, but we knowing what's going on behind the scenes. No, the producers pretty much picked this. Producers could have picked it out. There was another one where like this guy had gotten this girl pregnant. They're both like 20 and she had the kid and then she's keeping the kid away from them and he keeps saying, you know, you're using them as a pawn. You're using them as a pawn. So when they get their tattoos, it's um, her tattoo is a baby, not and then like a pawn from a chest piece. And his

was like sperm donor with like all these sperms, like on a stomach. Like hers was huge. It was on her leg, like almost her full thigh, and the dude was like on his belly, but it wasn't like a cool two-pock-like ripped abs. No, it's like a life shit. It was like a big like jelly belly with like giant cartoons perma, all over it. Does it say like insert sperm here or something like that? If you guys had to, though, bang a car,

which car would you bang? Volkswagen. Yeah, or like one of those, you'd go for the one of those. Herb was herb, was herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, what color was herb, herb, you know, it was a boy because he didn't think, because his name was herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, herb, a boy because he's a thing. Because his name is Herbie. It's 2019, if they remake it, who knows. I think he was, Herbie was white with a red and blue stripe with the 53 on the hood, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I'd be 54. I always think that's the number of guys who violated Herbie. Definitely knows who Herbie is. It was less sick. Well, maybe like, I was just saying, maybe the Lindsey, the one who wasn't that 15 years ago, I had to, you know, I was just saying, maybe the lens of the one, but it wasn't that 15 years ago. Yeah, I'd probably take like a mini Cooper.

What's in my, yeah, kind of like a sleep. That's a really short, no, no tiny little thing. I thought you would want to do something more of a Fam car. Yeah, like a Mazda Miata or something. Work-use old laser. Yeah, I mean, back in a car, although people do it, right? Well, I can't remember the term for it. Like when people marry rollercoaster. A lot of other services. Yeah. Is there, um, have you ever been in a relationship where you're like, all right, I'll do this tattoo. Thank you. Or never, not once.

Oh, you mean it? Where you would let like someone who, because these, most of these people were together still. Okay, but the, the one with the baby and not the baby and the one they were like kind of together, like they wanna be together or like she wanted them to be together. And I'm like, if you guys are doing this kind of shit, putting tattoos on each other that are like offensive. And forever. Oh yeah, this is-

Why fight so hard to be with? Well, you didn't have a tattoo prior to compliment, right? No. And do you have any tattoos post-compactment? No. That episode, so your only tattoo is... No, I haven't lost any bets like me, so I'm good. So you, so that's the tattoo you got in compliment is still the only tattoo you have.

Yeah. You haven't felt like you didn't get addicted to the ink. No. Why do you think? Why? I. Which is weird, because I do have like a addictive personality, so you would-

Why did I meet it that way? Oh, I remember you were a drunk, so I figured I'd probably get drunk on ink. Yeah, I just got all ink. I just met, you know, like some people, like, you know, they see it and they like it, and maybe they, you know, they get some more added to their body.

No, this is little by little and then before you know it, you gotta sleep. Actually, I've got, my sister-in-law got her first tattoo at I think 50. And now it's covered. Now, well, no, no, she's actually. So it's a sperm donor. Yeah, all on the belly isn't.

No, but she's got, not covered, but she's contemplating like an entire sleeve Yeah, I'm like, well, I think that's what happens to your female Yeah, I'm not a big fan of just like the solitary tattoo on a forearm or something But like if a girl has a sleeve then I think it looks pretty good. Yeah I'm gonna be getting some cover-ups done not too long. Amy is gonna help me design some shit stuff Amy she drew the pinball twins comic and

Tell them Steve Dave town news thing. Oh, yeah, what how could we get in cover-ups? What are you covering up? I'm gonna cover up the Calvin and Hobbes one. Oh, yeah, that was that was that was on all of what should I say as you get to former lover relationship, right? Was fired you so you who was Calvin, who was Hobbs? And it was what did that represent you when you were born and up? Well, at the time was as Calvin pissing on Hobbs.

Yeah, playing basketball. At the time, I thought I was Calvin, but then it turned out she was lesbian. So maybe I was more homestead. It would explain all the pegging too. All right, so that's one you cover enough. And then the tribal ton. You get rid of the tribal.

It's so... The rest of the tribe is dead. It's almost number four. It's so perfect and it's like... You know, it's cheesiness. Yeah. Yeah. At the time I was cheesiness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. At the time, I was like,

car, yeah. I need something that's going to express my individual. Yeah. Hey, guys, that's all going on the tattoo part. Like the same tattoo. I've seen this one about, I don't know, a billion people. But there's a corny. Make mine look sharp.

Like, a art wire movie. Oh, man, that's like, I mean, you got to own that. I mean, that's just awesome. You can't, what are you going to cover that up with? I don't know. That's what we're deciding on. Well, I have like this age tattoo on the farm. So I do want to go with a sleeve.

So I want to go up with like sort of themed and this, you know, the tribal tattoo. What, what, what, what, what, that be what stage your life that would have been What cry early 2000. Oh any number yeah Post 2001 zoos probably upset about that I don't know why Crisis no like I'm like I got to remind myself myself I'm not old kind of deal going on. Yeah, this will keep me young.

People will respect me when I'm older, they'll be like, oh wow, this is like 25. Look at that, I never knew that barbed wire could melt. That's so weird. That's so weird. The Calvin Hobbs was a much better idea. No, I've always thought the Calvin Hobbs, because I had never seen anybody else with Calvin Hobbes have you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, although remember when we first opened the store

There was that tattoo couple that used to come in. I can't remember their name. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and They were talking about tattoos and one of the examples they used as Shit that they wouldn't they would never do because it's too corny was Kelvin It was did you even did you pipe up or of course I did yeah I was like really I was like cuz I thought this might need a few touch She apologized I was like I don't care yeah I was like I don't remember that This is corner wait till you see what I do with 20 years from now

Man so you're going full sleeve huh I? I'm gonna try it. Yeah, so wave it. So Is that it does that all you're covering up? The Calvin and the and the tribal yeah, so you're going to not cover up the war the undead German yeah, the one that that kind of got you pegged is a white supremacist. You're not gonna cover it up enough? No way. I love that one. I would get that covered up as soon as I got the sage one covered up. Like I really like that. I mean, it has, you don't feel it's hurt you maybe in certain social circles. What social circle? Okay, now perhaps and I'm just done a lot of it. Well, future social circles you may want to go into that may keep you out of because of the tax. Yeah, I'm like, how do I become a Jew?

Like, when are you guys? They're like, well, first get the swastik off your arm. No, I don't think there's any social circles. Because it's not like, I'm just pulling my fucking like, Hey, let's go to the party. Like, I'm not Maxwell where I'm constantly in a sleeveless shirt. Like hardly anyone ever sees it. But let's say the podcasting thing Like, I'm not Maxwell where I'm constantly in a sleeveless shirt. Like hardly anyone ever she's it. But let's say the podcasting thing stops

and you got a good, get a real job. Okay. Go ahead. You're out on an interview. And, you know, what am I? It's an interview before I started a sleeveless shirt and they're like, well, we usually demand, you know,

we have higher expectations of our work. And the way this world is going, you're gonna want to see your social media. Oh, you're not getting the job. Let me answer it. And your tattoos. Yeah, all right. Well, there are like some like, well, this is the last one I show them.

I'm like, first I show them the tribal one. I'm like, right? I mean, classic right? Here was 2002. Everyone was very excited about the tribal tattoo You want to go get chick filet? I mean like all the cliches of a middle-aged white My white Reeboks my white socks

What what is it man that like do you think you're ever gonna dress like an old guy? My daughters think I do, But you don't though. You wear shorts and a t-shirt. You wear sweats and a t-shirt. Once in a while, if you're in a fancy, you wear jeans and a t-shirt. So like you're like me, very sort of anonymous. Or like casual.

Yeah, very casual. Well, thankfully, I'm very grateful that I've been able to work almost my entire life without having to have a uniform or have to dress in certain attire. That's huge. I really much love to all those people out there who can't do that because I know it's messuck. You know, to have to dress up every day and go to work, not be able to like have like, you know, we have casual Fridays every day at the stage.

So casual. Sometimes I get them things he could take his fucking socks off. Yeah, and like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not that casual. Yeah, seriously, man. But anyway, this tattoo show is hosted by Snooki. And some other guy. Well, I mean, I mean, hanging on baby hanging off her dear life. She's still laughing. I don't know relevance the right word, but I

just think, you know, still hanging on to two. I mean, she partly, she partly her reality show and to other other TV shows. She figured it out. She has a merchant dice like she's selling pickle She's real into pickles I guess so she was selling pickle Some shit, I don't know I never watch Jersey Shoraks that maybe once I don't know how many time and the clip where the guy punched The only thing they ever wash about Jersey Shore. Oh, no big an a tattoo. So can you get shout out to a former Speaking of tattoos, I'll keep you in a shout out to a former co-worker, I guess, our boss, right?

Brian Nishel, a show runner on comic-mines, you got a new show coming out. Call. Oh, I'm gonna Nishel's my boss. He wasn't, you know what to consider him your boss? He was a cool boss, don't he was, no, no, he was a cool guy. He wasn't our boss. He was definitely the boss. He would know. He held that us one time. He's like, what do you yell at us? He goes, everybody was looking at their phone, except me. Y'all that you guys, not me, for like he goes, he

was trying to explain what he want, what you guys, what we're going to do that day and everybody was looking on their phone and he kind of like yelled at everybody. No, you call that. Yeah. Fucking lay down. But ultimately, if it came down to it, there's one person who's gonna go. And it's not us. Got a show like that. They would fire him over. They firing us. They can't fire the cast.

They can fire the show runner. Why are you such a dispute over? Is that my boss? It's not my boss. I'm laying down. I'm lying down. I would say it was my boss. Two years after the show ended,

I'm John the line in the sand right here. I wouldn't say it. No, no, I wouldn't say it back then. I'm say it was my boss. Two years after the show ended, I'm drawing the line in the sand right here. I wouldn't say it back then. I'm saying it today. Yeah. I got a boy, Brian. He's got a new show on AMC called Heroink. And A&E. A&E?

Yes, not AMC. Thank you, man. A&E called Heroink and he's really proud of it. And he said that there's a lot of similarities to complimenting in so much as there's a lot of similarities to Compokman and so much as there's a lot of banter that he so inspired by his time of Compokman. He brought banter to his new show.

And he's hoping that it does well. And I'm hoping it does well, too. He told me not about this show, but he's very early on. He complimented us, not you, you were on your phone at the time. That's bullshit. He complimented us saying he was like, it's unbelievable that you, like we'll give you guys a topic

and then you just go. He said, every single show I've been on, he's like, people can't do it, or people are like, well, what do you want us to talk about? And then be like, well, talk about this, but they're incapable of having those conversations. So we'll see. I mean, if it's coming out, he must have done a good job because he's demanding. You know, he isn't. I really like him. So I hope that his new show, like, you know, he gets

another seven years on this show, like he did on Conflict. And what's the idea behind it? Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't want the surpassed Conflict. Seven years and 95 episodes. That's it. The premises I believe I know for a fact what it is. He told me that it's There you go current cops are former cops who get tattoos based on traumatic or first responders Yeah, yeah, firefighters so they whatever the whatever Call they were on that really impacted their lives. They'll get a tattoo. Yeah. I wonder, has

anything ever happened on the job for you guys? There's been plenty of like important impactful moments in how many 20 plus years at the stage? Yeah Yeah, 20 get them to get issues. Yeah There's There has to be any any any number of incidents that would be so Momentous that they're worthy of being memorialized that they would be worthy of getting inked on your body Well, not walls body Well, not wall spotting. And it come to mind like maybe that customer like standing in a pool of urine in bathroom. I know out in the hallway. He didn't make it.

Oh, sorry. The free comic book day wars, you know. Sure. Oh, yeah, a termite with a big leg piece of cheese in his hand. And you know, now I've since you've backed off a back off a bash and free comic book day, you know, since I was on a comic book show, I didn't feel it was. Well, you never he ever bash the day that bashed the people.

Yeah, that's well, yeah, I think the whole the whole day to me is kind of like, I don't think it works. I mean, I think it I think it works like to bring in people, I mean, you can get like a nice chunky day out of it, like a cash register. But as far as like turning people who aren't in the comics. Oh, like bringing in new people.

Is that a comment that'll come in week after week after week after week? I don't know. I don't know. I haven't seen it happen here, but, you know, I don't want to speak for the rest of the country. Well the last two free comic book days have been Turned into Kevin signings. Yeah, yeah, we kind of sell it co-celebrated free comic book day with

signings and this one was also May 4th May the 4th be with you the Star Wars day. So percentage We're gonna turn it to a percentage sales wise. How many people do you think? So percentage, bringing it down into a percentage sales wise, how many people do you think spent money? Because a free comment with J versus Kav being here. Paul. Zero. Zero.

Everybody else. Okay. So zero percent is, and they cost money too. It's not like free free. You'd cost you guys money. No, they do cost money. I mean, not a ton of money for those free comics, but they do cost the retailers money.

Do you see the commercial for grandpad? Many times. Yeah. for those free comics, but they do cost the retailer's money. You see the commercial for Grand Pad? Many times. I can't figure out what is different about it. You don't need internet connection. I think that's the 4G thing is, okay, that's the only difference because I was like, I have a problem. You can't go on internet on your Grand Pad? No, you can, but you don't need an internet connection.

How do you get on internet then? It's like your phone. Yeah, like the 4G. Like a Bluetooth? Yeah, yes. I mean, I'm not. No, it has nothing to do with Bluetooth. Don't fucking entertain that nonsense. I don't know.

It's just like I don't know. No, like your phone, if you turn off your internet, you can still go, like your, if you turn off your internet you can still go like your You're like if you turn off your Wi-Fi You can still go on the internet with the 4G or LTE or whatever it says on your phone And I guess that's what this is like whether you're like Pam had a phone for 10 years Not realizing that she didn't have to be on Wi-Fi in order to use the internet Because we would go somewhere and she'd be like oh, I can't look it up because I don't have the internet.

I was like yes you do. Yeah you do. Yeah you're your own hotspot. Yeah, yeah basically wherever you go you're on the internet. So is that the only thing? Ah that's one of the things and it's safer. Less regular. It's somehow safer. It's safer like you can't visit a lot of questionable websites.

Oh, here you go. This may be good for us. It's designed with seniors in mind. The innovative device comes with features for connecting with loved ones without the complicated features of other tablets. The large buttons and intuitive interface make the grandpad a simple tablet for seniors who are ready to start video chatting and sharing memories. So large buttons like I remember a GERDI, she was like 95 and she had one of those phones

with giant buttons. So I guess that's it. We saw the other one that tells the grandma that she gonna be a great grandma. Oh, yeah, yeah, how to react is this the equivalent like if you get a if you were to get a grandpad Right, and I would buy revolver along with it. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah, that's a full proof. You come home with the grandpad. You're like, and you tell your 20, 25, 25 year old girlfriend, uh, you just, I just got this new device really excited about it. She's already like, well, shit, you're excited about something. Yeah, I already like, I think this is going to be helpful for me.

And my, and my, you know, it's, it's bigger, it's safer and it's less, it's less convoluted than my old iPads Which we have known you have a history of not being able to navigate your iPads and then she's like I'm sage You know you you mock the grandpad But if there's any person on the planet that I would get a grandpad for it would be me It would be you because you can't handle your iPad You treat it as if it's a live Fucking otter in your hands. Yeah, like trying to get away from you and run and and hide under a lot

It's a pain in the ass this thing, man This this iPad would you and then would you then you also tell her that you also got new undergarments that will keep the couch dry I've also got bad news for my doctor Keep the couch dry. I've also gotten bad news from my doctor It's win-win-no I'll be able to video chat you yeah Like when I get sent we get sent sexy videos Mary Beth, I'm gonna take off the uh, Doctor Undergerman now! I wanted to get one of those chairs that you ride up the stairs,

but I couldn't afford it. So we just video chat. You ride up it and it's like it's so slow just jerking up. She sees me like inch by inch come up like. You only talk to her and you go, only talk to me through the grandpad. Yeah. What's wrong with you, we had to deal. It's sexier.

Yeah, it's like, oh my god, I didn't know I had daddy issues until right now. Nah, she knows. She's trying to figure it out. She has to try to go a little inward. Yeah, I was a figure it out. This is obviously not normal. It's like fucking fit ourselves.

And what concludes is that you come looking. I said, no, she can't figure it out. Like childhood stuff, yeah, nothing really. No traumatic childhood experiences, normal. Pretty normal, yeah. I mean, it seemed they were a little bit like hands off. Like where Pam and Edgar were like up my ass all the time, it seems like they weren't like that. So maybe like that kind of freedom makes drug use maybe an overdose and then you know like

Who then why are I'm on your girl? Wait, who over me or who's overdosing Younger years She's holding it. She's maybe like you she had maybe like, you know, some drug use is as kind of clouded her. Oh, her, her, dude, she said she was such a fucking square before she met me drug-wise. Like before she met you. So now she's a little cooler. She's a little cooler. So you, so drug use makes you a little bit cooler Brian Johnson the drug cooler now a little more laid back in certain situations. I don't know. Maybe. But like I mean you go to college you would assume that people would smoke weed right.

Of course. So you never did. And the things that's wrong with college though I think is what smoking weed. Yes the ramp it. I think the big problem with college is like how the people that get in don't deserve to get in and then once the people who do deserve to get in get out they're crippled with debt. That's the problem with college, not smoking weed. Oh, I think there's multitudes of reasons, but I think one of the reasons is there's too much acceptance of drug use on college campuses.

Um, I don't know that they accept it though If it's not legal and especially an adorm any drug use is illegal No, it's not not in certain states like in California Oh, I let you get a card that you're stressed out. No, you gotta take a chance. I'm special In Washington you don't need anything. Yeah. You can walk into the spent time. You guys better watch out. Yeah. To that. Comicon. If you're under the lower my kid with the dark side, they come on. Just one puff. This is in a geekweed drug like again, says.

I don't know. What do you think, Mr. Chanson? You're right about the crippling debt and and I'm not sure that once you get all your degrees and your bachelor's and stuff that you're any more equipped to get a job in these. And it's what I'm talking about. I can tell you, in fact, you're not. But you weren't now.

You're not working a year. Well, I mean, she's got you as a role model, so. Yeah, that's true. I'm like, you got to smoke pot and you can't work. Okay. Now you're cool. Yeah. Well, listen to what? Well,

they're flanking. Yeah. So she wouldn't be a good role model. What makes you think so many people smoke weed and in college? Yeah. Well, like just like you said, it's the where you go to experiment. You go and that's one of the things I think is an expected experimentation. I can say with 99% guaranteed that it's more prevalent to have binge drinkers, and it is to have people smoking pot. Oh, I'm always even gonna talk about underage alcohol abuse.

Okay, all right. Well, if you wanna stay away from those, I don't wanna to break that up. That's a taboo subject. I'm not making so much for so many things going on at college. I mean, it's just, it's a mess. It is, but I mean, probably a bigger issue, right, is like, Adderall stuff like people using Adderall when it's not prescribed.

That's much worse than drug and addictive. Yeah, yeah, but it's a prescription. God. Yeah, I'm talking about all drugs. You know, get there. They come lobbying to get salt and pepper ticket. I've all the, all the cafes. Um, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I didn't go to college. You know, I mean, when Mike went to college, it was Not representative of today probably right. I think I think I'd I enrolled in college and I got mono that year I might have been tempted. I might have been I might have been like just some zonk out cement head type

Living on the doll. Yeah Thank God I got that fucking kissing disease. There's a lot of people that go to college who just do smoke pot and don't, you know, go on the doll. Wait a few I think. But people still say on the doll, people want to smoke a shit that makes everything better. I don't get it. We got to maybe cut this one. Everything better. I don't get it.

We got to maybe cut this one. Not sure. We got a little bit of time. We got to cut this one a little short. I got a emergency at home that uh, you know, he's going to help me. What? Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Another bird in the oven. Oh my god. Another live bird that I got to get at at a hot stove. I'm just going to talk about it in a second. First. First I want to talk, like me and you can talk about like if we're going to eat us, guys like me and you, you want to do it on a Casper mattress. Oh, yeah.

I need a time. I don't think you have to wrap it up. We got an anthem. Yeah. Casper. Oh, you don't have, do you have a Casper or no? No, you almost had a Casper pillow or something and then he sold it on you, right? Yeah, he sold a Casper or no? No, no. You almost had a Casper pillow. I do. Or something, and then he sold it on your right? Yeah, he sold the Casper mattress and the Casper pillow.

I think I got a Casper pillow case. I don't know. Casper pillow case. Yeah, that's pretty nice. Yeah, pretty nice. And they sweet. If you're wondering what Casper is, it's a sleep brand that makes expertly design products that help you get your best rest one night at a time.

Here's some talking points, because you know, who doesn't want to talk about mattresses? Let's see others Five okay, so we gotta talk about five all right. Let's see you spend a third of your life sleeping So you should be comfortable is that true do you sleep you get your eight hours a night? I try I know I don't what about you Mike. No, no not even close. No, so What are you doing? What are you doing that you're not getting eight hours out? No, I have a hard time falling asleep.

What the fuck is he doing that you can't get eight hours out? He's not going to eat hours asleep, but he's lying in the bed for 14 of those. What can we do? What are you doing that you can't get eight hours? I'll tell you something in a second when we talk about home repairs. I'm watching TV. I'm playing with Sage. I'm doing. And she up at 11 but I can't but I can't fall asleep. I can't. I just can't fall asleep. Yeah. You try to like turn in early. Like how early is early? Like make make a commitment. Uh huh. 10 30 going into the room. Mary

Beth. So I got gotta go into room! I gotta get my eight hours. You know, I'm sorry, but I'm really gonna stick to it for a month. I guarantee you'll change your sleep habits. I can't do it, though. Do you have a TV in your room? Yeah. Turn a TV off.

That's the problem. Yeah. Get a night mask. Night mask? Yeah. Casper should make night masks. They really should because the Casper mattress is like Perfection right any what else do you need but a Mask might help and I wake up a lot during the night and it's always been that way though

And then I can't like the more now it's fucking light at five in the morning So you ever think about taking a walk before bedtime? Not only charges you up, get you going. No, actually, I think I can talk about it. I thought I'd get your blood going. No, I take a nice little walk around the corner. Yeah, you're strolling around? Yeah, you bring the dog.

I bring the dog, it lessens too hot. I don't bring the dogs. And then I find that I definitely fall asleep quicker and more soundly after a nice Where you live you're gonna fall into the eternal sleep. There's no sidewalks Like 50 miles an hour in the dark Exactly You're taking your life in your hands over around there. I walk around the corner where they're sidewalks

though They're or in the swamp where they're all And there's not many cars when I when I take my strolls. It's it's late. Yeah, but that means you're I can't eight hours either. Oh, yeah, I am way if I go to bed at two I'm getting up at 10 to 10. All right. I'm not really can't stay up past two anymore. It's the most impossible for me. You know, that's that's depressing. I know. I used to be the the night out, but I can't stay up past two. I'm really tired. My eyes are itchy. Can't read pennies from the distance and the dark. Yeah, I used to be the the night out, but I can't stay up past two. I'm really tired. My eyes are itchy.

Can't read pennies from a distance in the dark. It happens, man. Oh my God. I get you a grand pet. They're affordable because Casper cuts out the hated middleman, sells directly to you. Come on. I mean, I don't want to vilify the middleman. The last Casper had, I got into this.

I don't know why we vilify the middleman. I mean, Mike, we want to vilify the middleman. The last Casper Ed, I got into this. I don't know why we vilify the middleman. I mean, Mike, we're middlemen, right? We are the middlemen. Yeah, but you know what? This industry needs middlemen, because you remember Marvel tried to do it themselves, right? Then they tried to do direct marketing. And Joe Cassado was selling it out of the back of this.

They didn't want to, they weren't gonna. Dot, that was before Cassado. Okay. When you had that own distribution, the heroes world didn't work Then work for them they had to go back to them to the I guess we're not even middlemen We're like we're underneath middlemen and where's Marvel now? Sometimes you know you need a middleman because The like these comics people are precious about them. They can't get bent up and shit, you can't send this stuff through the mail.

Like you can, but it's a, but it's a, but it's delivered to the mail. We call it a bookstrip, like weekly books. Yeah. Oh yeah. Well, you need you guys. I mean, with nobody really does, I mean, we're definitely living on borrow time. Oh yeah, you guys are totally fucking awesome. Oh, you know know that's perfect. That is the one that's announced it, you know,

over the airways for that. Every day that Kevin hasn't put a fucking out of business sign on the front door, I'm shocked. Yeah. Yeah, it's getting a lot more. You just wait to come in and that's just gonna, he's not even gonna say, it's just gonna be like out of business.

Soaped over windows. Yeah. Mike, do you sweat like crazy at night when you're talking about, because a breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulate your body temperature throughout the night. That's good. I mean nervous now. Are you supposed to sweat at night?

I don't think so. Some people do though. Get all sweaty at night. You don't have any hot, you don't have the hot places yet, right? No, not yet. Probably coming up soon. There's something wrong every day. Almost like there's something different wrong.

You know, should fall off a guy. Yeah, I mean right now, let me think what it is. It's I don't know. Maybe I might be pretty Pretty stable health wise right now. Although with the kidney stone was supposed to go like get it checked out to make sure it's gone So otherwise you could block this or that You ever what? The fucking one I went to get a remote is three nine thousand dollar bill. I had to pay three thousand dollars gone. Otherwise you could block this or that. You never went. No. The fucking one I went to get a remove is three, like $9,000 bill. I had to pay $3,000. I like fuck it. I don't have to be almost dead in order to go.

Should let get him try to fucking try to get you to stone out. Yeah. Get him reaching somebody to eat from. Yeah. I bet you he could get it out. But he could Google it and then he figured Yeah, he's a kendo kind of guy. Can you imagine him pulling a doc cock around on you? Oh

Freak it. I mean you have a little bit of natty He's a belt You know a strap are a strap are we're talking about it his date You know a strap are you talking about his date? A little bit of nanny something to bite on like a vacuum pump. Yeah, weasers a little vacuum pump. You can get that stone out Right probably yeah, I know we could are we good enough friends to do it Would you try it would you try to operate? I'm like I don't want to spend the money. I know you can appreciate that I can probably I work and just reach in a massage it all the way down, maybe I can probably, I can just reach in a massage it all the way down, baby. Yeah, you're gonna fist me.

Casper's just like ice. Nice. You're in the middle of a Casper. Come on, you've been tolerant enough to now. You want to shit on the middle man? Go ahead. Those guys are dicks anyway. All this, you know, play time.

You're gonna get free shipping and returns in the US and Canada and it is gonna blow you away, Mike, when the package comes to the door You're gonna be like how do they do that? Yeah, I that'll keep you up at night. I've compared you know, you haven't seen it. You don't have a mattress right Casper right? I have a mattress at all. I've seen this. I've seen it. I've seen it. I'm so palsy like I got a mattress or no. I've I've compared the unboxing of a Casper mattress to the birth of a child. I I say that the flaps the cardboard flaps are like the legs and the opening is a super big vagina. Okay, like I I would have been a mattress, not a shak carpet. It's like one of those, it's like one of those re-birthings ceremony.

They put kids through. And then when you see that gorgeous pristine, never touched by human hands, foam mattress slide out so effortlessly like it was just like there's no need for medical procedures to get it out. I want to hear the talking point that these are made by aliens. Never touched by human hands. Well, I think once it comes out of the foam vat, I think that it's a- Yeah, there's not like a second-third- head mattress with bedbugs and shit and junk and stay across your fingers. It's a beautiful spectacle. I mean it's you know like watching a macy's day parade balloon. It's like watching it. Like a like a deer or a giving birth you know how like a horse gives a birth like

like while it's running right? No, no they lay down even like they later. What's a animal that just gives birth to walk? Like a giraffe or it falls out of its asshole? Yeah, I'm that I'm not sure I've never seen those videos where they're just walking all of a sudden boom Stuff that falls out and that starts walking immediately to I'd like to see these videos Like a wildebeest or a fool yeah, they start like walking

I mean shit. Yeah, yeah, it's it's animals man like almost immediately they're like, all right, I'm on my own. For some of us, it's like better than a deer's leader. I think that's usually prey animals that do that. So they don't get picked off by a predator very quickly. Pretty animals. Yeah, things like predators like rabbits. No, things like predators have and they roll around for a couple days before they start walking like a big cat. Like lions in the such. It's a beautiful

it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. No, Casper should really market that. Do like YouTube video redesign their boxes to look like the giant. Re-design look like a giant is and the commercial. Yeah, you're right. It should be just like a series of quick cuts of like animals having beautiful, beautiful animals coming out of And then to fit in Cap it off with a Casper coming out of the box the spectacle like Like this with a lot less people

Yeah, pipe and fresh just out of the box. Uh, you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 night risk free sleep on a trial. Let's see. I'm probably could look up there and find the talking points to this because Ming used to print them out every week. Did it? Oh, yeah. You can get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting Casper.com, slash D-E-S-D, and using T-E-S TST promo code at checkout

terms and conditions apply. That's $50 off towards select mattresses by visiting Casper.com slash TST using TST promo code at checkout terms and conditions apply. We found out it's very important to say that Mike. Oh, very important terms and conditions do apply folks. Go out and get yourself a Casper mattress because these things are gorgeous just going by their pillowcases alone is fantastic yeah all right there you go Casper so so you got another bird in the oven you got a call from the wife and you don't use it anymore this summer wood burning soap but did you use it in winter a couple times oh did you okay thought you were like it's it's so hot though it's on on bearable it's summer wood burning soap, but did you use it in winter? A couple times. Oh, did you? Okay. How do you relax? It's so hot though. It's on unbearable. It's like a hundred degrees in one room

And then 60 degrees in the nature. It can maybe even more than a hundred It's it's that unbearable to have the wood burning stove on But yeah, I just got a call about it half hour before we started that you know my wife was like Just another creature in the in the wood burning stove and you have that person. She's calling by his name. Is there any chance that that person you know could come and get it out. She doesn't even ask if I could do it. Oh, she knows.

She's going to be married. 25 years. 25 years. 25 years. 25, wow. 25 years in on June 11th. She knows as well that you can't do it, as well as she doesn't know his name. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So he's going to, he's going to follow me home. We're going to break all the speeding laws after we record this and get back to my house so we can get that bird out. Get him, come back. I wanna know your proposed approach to this.

This is not something I'd wanna do either. No, I wouldn't ask you. I wouldn't even ask you. Yeah, I would shoot it. Like, if you wanted me to shoot the door. I could get everyone out of the way. That's the solution. Like as, so like you, how do you approach this situation?

Like do you have special outfit that you put on? No, just gonna put some gloves on and. Like heavy gloves? Like leather gloves? I don't have anything heavy glove in my Jeep right now. Because they said creature and we think it's a bird. But we're not sure. Yeah, but I'm gonna look through the glass first

to see if it's a bird, not like a squirrel something. Don't tell me it's glass in the front of your own stuff. I usually say you can see the thing. So if it's a squirrel, it should be able to go out on its own. So. What if it is a squirrel? How will you get it out?

You think squirrels are just... I don't like squirrels, yeah. Oh, you don't like squirrels? Why? Teeth and the nails and everything? Oh, I didn't know you were a pussy, too. And all the disease... No, I'm not a pussy. It's the, really?

I mean, I know, I can't. But it sure sounds like you're hard to please. It's, it's, they're not fun. So you're saying just the dirtiness of the animal, what do you hope to find in there? A bird, because then I could just, a bird, because then I just, I'm good, them's good eats.

I'll open it. Can't you just snap the neck of the squirrel? Why would you just strangle it in front of the girl? I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding the neck of the squirrel. Why don't you just strangle it in front of the girls? I can't get a squirrel too. I'm sure I could learn. Yeah, but really? Would you eat squirrel?

A lot of people eat squirrels. I know there was a morning in Jersey many years back that they're really high in lead. And they put out a new Jersey, put out a warning, not to eat squirrels. What lunatic is eating a squirrel? Actually. Hey, what are you talking about? There are fishing more companies that'll buy their tails, so a lot of people go out and shoot them and sell the tails.

And they're like, Hey, you know what this looks like? It's kind of abing, isn't it? Well, you know, waste water on them, I guess. On our wedding, then you. I'm sure it's like a small rabbit, people eat rabbits. I don't know, anyway, good job. Yeah, it's too gamey, man. Look, the other certain things I'm like, I'm just not gonna eat it. I don't know. Anyway, it's too gamey, man.

Like, the other are certain things. I'm like, I'm just not going to eat it. I don't want to, I don't need to taste it. I don't want it. But like you like Mike, would you prepare a squirrel? I was going to say that in the joy of cooking, it's like one of the best selling cookbooks out there. It has a section where it shows you how to skin a squirrel.

So it's, yeah, and they even have a diagram in some of the earlier editions where you just like rip it off. That's like, that's pretty damn gross. What I, what I prepare it? No. No, it's like if like somebody hired like, let's say you come in one day and it's all you got to business time. The door's out there cooking. Yeah, so you're one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one who's the one would your age work against you and trying to find a job and to cook an industry? Yeah. But you wouldn't be able to just like, you know, pimple or like, or like not pimple, but like kind of like, what can you like a spokesperson for? No, but like a page, your resume, maybe with lies.

Squirrel Skinner. Yeah, you've been cooking. And by instead of saying pad your resume with lies, just say lie on your resume. You know what I'm just like, put all out of business restaurants that you cooked at. Actually, most of the restaurants that I used to cook at are out of business. That would, with the previous, with they see a pattern there like, well, every restaurant

he's worked at. That's how I remember. Or maybe I just told him the parentheses closed, not do the cooking. Or I could just tell him that I was in prison for like 20 years, the last 18 years I was, I was in car service. Yeah, but then he got to get to have your shower. Well, they couldn't you sue whoever doesn't hire you for, you know, age discrimination. Age discrimination?

No, because they can say what? No, he did it. There's a different reason. Yeah, he didn't have the, the experience we were looking for. I always got to, he always got a way to get around that. I was bad enough. Otherwise he'd be writing a strongly worded letter to the management of his grandbed.

You got to get him on tape and minigame. That's what you got to do. Yeah. I mean, honestly, that sounds like a nightmare to me. Applying for a job, proving myself to some asshole who 100% is younger than me for a job that I don't want. Probably won't even do that well. And this is younger than me for a job that I don't want. Probably won't even do that well.

And this is a guy running for my job. That would suck. I did home repairs. No, my thing. Not your thing. Are you going to home repairs? I kind of shit. I'm oddly good at them.

I hate doing them. How about home destruction? They have people going, you know, rip out buildings. I'm a good demo guy. Now, now that's your opinion of yourself. No, it's my wife. She's like, you're really good at this. Mary Beth tells me I'm good at stuff that I know I'm not good at.

Does she really? Oh, that's adorable. Oh, I never really, I never really. It'd be nice on his feelings. Oh, that's me. That's amazing. So she tries to fool you that you're good at home repairs and stuff like that. No, you're really good at this honey There's no full she'll she'll more be like well, you shouldn't have to do that anyway. That should be the landlords

They like she'll sort of like couch it like Not that you suck at this, but It's not your thing. Wasting your valuable time on it. Yeah, you should be trying to get that. Should be trying to resting. That's that solid 10 hours of sleep. You've been on it.

But so a couple of months back, the sink is leaking. Kitchen sink is leaking the pipe underneath. And then the faucet is assembly there's no water pressure at all so I call them and Lord they send over a quote-unquote plumber to fix it and I may have told this already It was just get them in a mustache. Yeah, like the arey-our the weegee aren't those guys plumbers right? Yeah So so the guy comes in and for whatever reason he brings his girlfriend with him and So she can tell him what a great job he's doing

I mean she would be lying then because so the guy is like all right Well, you have this leak and we knew needed something up what did he show up in like a like a van? No a car it was just a regular car with his girlfriend. It's not even a plumbing van. Not even a plumbing van. No plumbers tools. He then looks at it, tells me he gives the diagnosis. There's a Saturday and he's like, I can do it Wednesday. I said Wednesday.

He's a kitchen sink. But why is he coming anyway then to tell you you can't do it till four days? No, maybe he thought it was something like simple as like the, the no the knob underneath is turned off. That kind of deal. Yeah, accidentally or whatever. Well, he goes, can you get water from the bathroom?

I said, so every time she cooks, I said, she's gonna go upstairs for water. I said, why can't you do it today? And he's, I don't have the money to buy the assembly thing, the faucet. I said, so if I give you money, can you go get it and fix it? And he's like, yeah, but I won't be able to come back till three because we have to drop her son off to work.

And I'm like, all right, but you can come back later and do it. Yeah, okay. So he leaves, he comes back and he does it. Hold on. You gave him cash. I had to give him cash to go do it. Yeah. I had to give the plumber money. This isn't really like this doesn't sound like a legitimate like licensed plumber. Well, you're gonna be shocked at the end of this story. I mean, spoiler alert. So about a couple days later, the faucets work and find its cheapest shit.

He came back and fixed it. He didn't come back and, well, he came back. He came back. Did what you thought he fixed. I thought he fixed. He puts on the faucet assembly and that the pressure is working okay. But underneath it's still leaking. So I call the landlord and I'm like, hey, it's still leaking. So I call the landlord and I'm like,

hey, it's still leaking. I'd prefer you not send that guy. I don't think he really knows what he's doing. Oh, well, I already paid him, so I want him to do it right. I said, okay, so the guy comes back, he leaves a couple days later, I'm like, what the fuck, it's leaking again. So he sent a text to the wife of the landlord and I'm like, hey, I need this done. And I

there's some other little thing that he's got done, but I was like, please don't send that guy. I was like, I don't eat. He's incompetent. He's the guys incompetent. So then the landlord calls me and he's like, I'm gonna send that guy. And I was like, no, I said, he doesn't know what he's doing. I said, it's the most basic repair. I said, and he's been here twice. I said, now three times, he's like, well, sometimes, ten times, you know,

if he gets it right, you know, I paid him. And I said, oh, and my time means nothing, huh? I was like, I need to be around eight more times for this guy to come. I said, he's incompetent. And he's like, well, he told me that stuff was stacked up in there anyway, leaning against the pipe.

I said, wait a second. So it's my fault. I said, what? I was like, are you out of your mind? I said, every kitchen in the country has stuff underneath the sink. I said, there's nothing leaning under there. I could see where the leak is coming from.

The guy didn't do the proper, he didn't do the repair properly. I said, you know what? I was like, don't send him, I'll do it myself. And he's like, no, no, I'll send him. I'll send somebody else, I said, no. I said, no, just forget it. I was like, I'll do it myself.

Because I'm like, fuck you, I can't take that kind of shit. Even though like in my mind, I'm like, I'll probably have to call that a year to get a million. I'm like, but so I watch a video that's like four minutes long because I know what the issue is. And I go out and I get the parts and I do the repair and then sage comes down,

she's helping me or she lay a little bench, she's watching and I go to test it and it's leaking and I'm like, fuck, God damn it. But then I was like, wait a second, and I forgot to turn this one nut thing or whatever. And then it was fixed. And I got to say, and I'm not proud of much. I was prouder of fixing that sink

than being on TV for seven years. Oh, so you actually did find that? It worked. Yeah, I fixed it. Wow. But during that time, the landlord is calling me twice, and the other, the plumber, I didn't want to come texted me. And then the wife texted me, and she's like, can you please call back my husband? He's trying to set up the plumber.

So this is what I wrote back to her. Fuck you. No, I mean, that really is like, I was enraged. I said, I told him I, okay, so she said, he's trying to call you to arrange for another plumber. Can you return his call? I said, I told him I do it myself, which I did. It took 45 minutes after watching a four-minute video and having no experience. Turns out it wasn't something leaning against the pipe. The assembly was missing a gasket and the, the quote unquote plumber must have figured the old

dried dried up ceiling putty wasn't good enough like they say you get what you pay for. I've been a decent and low maintenance tenant the rent is never laid and I do small repairs myself. I said the heat never worked properly after several attempts to have fixed for that heating guy to fix it but did I complain your husband was way out of, blaming me for the leak and acting as if me taking time out of multiple days for a simple fix like a leaky pipe is nothing. If this is the way it's gonna be,

when I need something fixed and his guys can't get it right, I won't be in your hair much longer. And I actually didn't answer that. But I'm like, fuck you man. Like fuck you. You know, and that was the thing, he was like, I'm like, you know, he keeps holding the plumber. I go, hey, stop calling my plumber. I said, is he licensed? I said, is he a licensed plumber?

And he's like, he pauses and he goes, well, licensed plumber who costs twice as much? I said, I don't care. It relevant to me. That has nothing to do with me. I said, he's not a licensed plumber. He's a lot that he admits it, though. He goes. I'm not going to say a licensed plumber. Yeah. Saturday. He's one of these fucking to play in Johnson. Yeah. These dickheads who's like, I'm the cheap guy. Like I'm the guy who fucking does want to pay for anything. You should be proud of yourself and I'm proud of you too. I mean, and it shows you that you can do things and like if this podcast of thing doesn't work out, BJ's plumbing and bridge burning. Well plumbing. Or if you want to perhaps the cost only specialize in that one

fix because now I know how to do it. Okay, he just goes very special. It was gasket and it was like because the second time he came out, it was a part I didn't say, his girlfriend's waiting out in the car for him So he's like rushing through it and I'm like, let's do go and I just why I told him and he goes well You know he doesn't have a license which means he got a DUI and I said oh great So I have a guy who's not only he's not a license plumbers. He's also not a licensed driver So now I got to deal with his girlfriend every time and So that he drives the guy who's fixing your sink as he can't drive. I guess I guess that's why

And she can't drive the van cuz she doesn't have a CDL Comedy of errors. Yeah, that's it. I'm just like it's I told the cows like it's so unprofessional man I was like I don't want to deal with this shit And it but he's not that asshole. You know you're out looking for a new what this shit. And it, but he's not you're not you're out looking for new. A boat. I'm going to you. I don't want I just can't handle this place anymore. And the number of things that I don't request be fixed like I could be breaking their balls nonstop with the shit in this place. But I don't because one I don't want

people coming over, you know, I don't really care if it falls down around me. But that shit is just like, I get not wanting to put out a lot of money. I get trying to save money by using these fucking handymen, and all they are are guys you went to high school with who like kind of got into the blue collar tray, they're not really good at any one thing, and usually there are a bunch of drunks or extra gotics.

I use a more active drug addict. Yeah, more active, yeah. And they watch the same YouTube video that you did. And that's how they come in. You're not watching to the fucking end because you can't fix the goddamn thing. Right out of data. But yeah, I was a little bit proud and especially because I can legitimately turn around and be like, this is how fucking easy it was.

And this asshole couldn't do that. Like, if I can do it, who can hardly do anything, who my friend wouldn't even call me up to open a door to a goddamn oven so a bird could fly out. And that's what it's called, Nick. You don't have the track record. Like you said, though, you know,

I could call animal control 250 bucks on the come over. Wow, or I can call Giddum. or my wife can say, do you know that man who Yeah, the other person Can you just can't just first the ready Can't you say it's injured and it's like, oh, I have an injured bird like one day like come out and be compassionate No, I'm gonna charge me to come out. They want that money sucks. Yeah, 250 bucks. I wonder where that goes money sucks, 250 bucks. Wonder where that goes. I'm in some man, like who the fuck wants a deal with that?

Cause it's not like bird in a stove. Usually it's like, hey, I got this rabbit possum in my basement or I have a dog that's cornered me and again, I'm not sure that's where I am. 250 bucks. Who can carry that? I don't think possums can carry rabies. No, no, they're immune to rabies.

Really? I never knew. I couldn't have rabies. Possum can never knew. I couldn't. I couldn't have rabies. I hope it's not a raccoon. I hope it's not a raccoon. I'm a great man. I can't. Clause. Clause. You want me to come over? You want to call up rise landlord? I don't have my heavy gloves. I've seen you without your socks on. You got claws, buddy. I don't know about the things in most clubs. Yeah, what if you just put a pair of Walt socks over your head? Trying to get a rabid raccoon. Don't want to euthanize a damn thing. I like watching videos where like someone is like, oh, isn't this cute? And then it bites them and then they're like,

shit, now I gotta get rabie shots. Oh, it goes out and bites them. Oh, man, that sucks. All right, well, at least it's gone now. Thanks, man man. I can drive home right. We need a band eight. We don't have any bands each. You can already see the phone forming around this now. Get him take tomorrow. It's a matter of fact. Don't come by. Okay. What would you want to get into? But let's say post comic book store like what would be your go-to? Like personally, if someone was like go out and get a real job I wouldn't know what to do. I would have no idea. Um, I don't know. Bounty Hunter. Wanna become bounty hunters? Yeah, with you, sure. Actually, that'd be pretty cool. Bounty Hunters? That's a dangerous line of work. Would you really want to do that?

You can't carry a gun. Yes, you can. We can. We can get. I watched every episode a dog and he did not carry a gun. Well just because he did Yeah, Mace isn't it weird that that was his name and not his wife? Actually, that was because dog was a convicted felon in Texas. He um he knew of a murder and didn't report it to the police So he's found guilty. I know my dog shit But we probably you guys would walk around you think think that you guys can become bounty hunters with guns. Why not? At this stage of your lives. Hey, you know, talk about fucking at a touch.

Jalen Byron. Holy shit, you're chasing fucking 18 to 35 year old. What do you think we need the industry? What do you think we need the gun? Don't chase him, you'd entrap them. Yeah, it was the first second. Yeah. Let's talk like Mike is not going to, let's speak as if Mike's not We need the gun don't chase you you'd you trap them Let's talk like like Mike is not gonna let speak is if Mike's not gonna fucking hold it against you tomorrow That Mike and Brian could go into the Mead Street to Nork and get

People who have who are out, you know who are have violated their roles will it is a what will back up the black guy no it's not even matter what matter but it's a tougher we don't we white only why is your bigger pussy so no no no this is the one situation where white to go the white collar yeah cannot be you have to go after whoever the fucking

well we're a few to ever is run out on you guys Whoever skipped out on your bond skip trace you think you think that there's any way shape reform that they could they can recapture a twenty two-year-old I Think between the two of them they are smart enough to figure out a way to catch the guy So they're gonna capture that recapture them with their wits? Yes. Yeah, we could do some with. I'm so like, like, wait, wait for the, wait for the guy to, wait for the guy to come

out of the company and he's storing, they just come up on one on each arm and just, yeah, it's that better live. Well, he's like chewing on like a whole, how are some? How do they hold onto him when he starts to make the, his escape move? But between the two of them, I think that each have one on the last or whatever something like that said they just kind of handcuffs. Yeah, I'll tease him.

Yeah, I'll tease me bro. He walks out. He like I said, he walks out of the the place. He's got like a Twiggy in his mouth. The next thing he notes, he's got 50,000 volts to room. What if you know what, if I were gonna pick, I don't never see a dog do that. So you guys are gonna go taser. You're not gonna go just like how dog did it just with fucking brute strength fucking walls and wolves teeth necklace

Dog had the paintball guns and the bear spray Yeah, he did have the he did have the spray He did but if I were gonna pick anyone as my partner it would be Mike Because he likes weapons Okay, he's angry so we can both be angry together. Be like you believe this answer Two days we've been to a back cop back cop. Oh, you're you said you'd be dog and he'd be young blood Remember you used to call his partner young blood. Yeah, I thought that was the son. No, that was was the sound No, that was his sun. Was it the sun? No, his name became a D.

I told them it was the guy who got arrested for exposure. You know, they all got arrested a lot. Or another. He was found innocent though, that charge though. No, just not guilty. He wasn't innocent. Yeah, and we have a hard fast policy where if we're speaking to an answering machine, we don't use the unword.

I can be like the war call and be on the computer like, you know, doing like the skip trace that way. Oh, yeah, we're coming back to you. So what is Ming doing this? Well, okay, maybe Ming. I was going to say, I thought that would be Ming's job. He's filming it all. He's flushing him out. Yeah, we send him in dressed as like a lady boy,

I love so much. You stupid. The honey pot, honey pot, yeah. Little honey, can't factor. Here you go. Hi, Tyran, boy. All right. We're going to go.

Mike, do you want to know what we're going to do? First, we research our subjects very thoroughly before making any moves. Well, this is actually you're going to do this, get them, then you're just gonna go as the breakdown. That wants me and Mike hit the streets. We stake out the fugitives address or frequent haunts. We may search through their male trace phone calls

or talk to people in area who might have seen them. Some bounty hunters use spy gadgets. This is what I'm gonna make Mike. Like exit sign video cameras and night vision goggles to trace, to track down skips. The carry mace or many bounty hunters carry guns mace or other weapons. Skips, that's the industry term for people who are. Yeah, that's what I call them. Skip that on their bond.

Okay, so the most valuable weapon is the element of surprise. Like dressed posing as a UPS delivery person. That's what we could do. Poses, a pizza-good delivery guy. He's still got the outfit. I like all poses that now I gave it away. No. I'll pose as a UPS guy and then I'll be like this is this is this is my you know UPS not USPS. I'll be like and this is I'm training my young

protégé here. Hello, Sunny. No, no, you're not a skipper. I checked my grip. I make sure to. I don't eat the internet. I like the pizza box idea and you have like the knockout gas inside. The old sun did some batman six. Hope we don't get a Facebook. They say that they say most people don't even put up a fight. Less than three to four of the people that this guy goes after, resist or rest, and most of them do nothing more than try to run or squirm away.

The most violent criminals aren't on bail anyway. Yeah. That's what dog, that's what, like, always the lame is part of his episodes. It seems always trying to find female fugitives. And they're not going, they're not any drama to the episode because they don't fight or... Or I'd hit the Newtie bars or... It's when they were going after these young bucks

who would give them a good run or a good chase. Because they were on the ice. Bounty Hunter's 50 and above only. Right? Some old criminals. Although you get some of these like grand criminals. Yeah, yeah, really like you get some of these criminals That are like like mob guys like 60 70 like there's no doubt like I've seen 70 year old guys a bike He'd waste me he would kick my ass I was like you realize at this age you're like a guy who's 18 can definitely kick my ass a guy who's somebody can kick my ass

I'm starting to think everybody might be like, you guys, you know. I only wish I had known this like 20 years ago. I think, what would your wife want you to become a bounty hunter? Probably not, but I mean, you got to pay that mortgage. So, I think I don't, I would not want to see you going to bounty hunter. Brian needs to get money to give to some guy to go and get a, you know, I could have a lover.

Yeah. I had a guy at work who was trying to recruit a bunch of us to be like a bounty hunter team. You're trying to recruit you? Yeah. You know how can you turn it down? So I didn't have a license to carry at the time. And I also didn't have the gloves for it.

At the time, but now you do? No, I don't have a license to be a security officer. Yeah, I was security officer's license. And that'll be, he could at least show the license at the door if you had him if you got him on your team. Yeah, little little scare the shit out of our criminal. Oh, he just got used to guard the mall. He was posted outside American Eagle, but if you just on sale day, but if we just flashes it real quick though most people are gonna read it. Well, I'm just gonna fake badge, then. Well, yeah, you don't need them around.

You can get a bounty hunter badge. It's not illegal to carry one. Yeah, it's not like if I show up with a real security guard, the guy's gonna be like, oh shit. Like I could just, I would just tell him, I'm a security guard, he got the same description. No, no chance. Yeah, no chance of running.

He's got a security guard license. Did you ever have to bust anybody when you're a security guard? Or did you not become a security guard? Did you ever like, were you a security guard? Yeah. Or what did you ever bust anybody? Like did you have to a security guard? Were you a security guard? Yeah. What did you ever bust anybody? Did you have to drag them back into a... No, I know.

We get the drugs, you just pretty much escort them to first aid. And then leave them there. Anybody give you a hard time? No. Like, smacking your own. No, the drugs just get stupid. Yeah.

They forget where they were, they piss themselves, and that was the fun ones When they piss them that's fun I'm saying it sarcastically that was the fun one get sarcasm Obviously You can teach these autistics anything if they're around it long enough right? Bounty hunter get them got to end. We don't that's it So if you guys need to go catch a bird or whatever and

With four legs not wings hopefully not so it's not something like six legs Four legs good two legs bad I'll video taking you know Do some video as get them tries to Extract this is that why don't you just like smoke them out like Like just take a duraflame light it and just like open the door chuck it We saw man that stuff from $6 million man. We might have a firecracker Startle Some butterfly net

I saw like they have these beautiful butterfly nets. Yeah, I just was at the dollar store. They're nice. I saw like they have these beautiful butterfly nets. All different shades of colors. We can get one in there. I mean, are they rated for things besides butterflies? You could catch, get them with it after the bird. Why do you think it would work? I'm saying a butterfly.

I'm like, can a butterfly net handle like the claws of a rabbit? Squirrel? What do you suspect is a butterfly in there trying to catch a bird? No, but what it does a squirrel have like massive claws that can go through a butterfly net? Depending on the butterfly. I don't know. I've never seen this butterfly net. I've seen America's funniest home video. You're talking dollar general butterfly net. I don't think it's made of a Evalor reinforced wash.

What a squirrel wants to get out of a house and people are trying to help it. Yeah. It moves like it's on real. It's like a pinball. It's like it's like it's all over and then like a dog or a cat sees it and they jump in the fray.

Yeah, what are your dogs good at hunting? Like maybe they could retrieve it. Like just like open the door and shove shoved something in there. You would think that the dogs would be sitting outside the stove because they heard something and like the other trying to catch it. I guess not.

You don't allow our dogs to hunt. No, it's cruelty freehouse, huh? Yeah, it's like, you know, what? It's live and let live. Mm hmm. Repacifists. They lock themselves in closets and basins.

Don't they chase tennis balls? Those aren't hunting dogs. What, tennis balls not a living creature, though? Yeah, but it's a predator instinct when they're chasing a tennis ball. But are those dogs, those boxers, and what boxers, is that a predator now, right? I mean, that's like kind of a fighting dog.

It's a Boston Terrier. Like the French bulldog, man, is like, I don't think most people are in the fun woods. Are they under the AKC on like under pussy breeds. Oh, what I'm saying, you know, what? No, not the owners that dogs. So you didn't offend me and I'm not going to take it out of the mark, but I can't wait to get into work. I'm going to get about your French bulldog. The AKC has list them as pussy dogs. I don't know, I'm just wondering

what the fuck are these pussy dogs? Like don't know. I'm just wondering what that is. It's a pussy dog. Like, you know, a dog that's afraid of everything. I can't go in water. A dog? No, not a fruity dog. Those things. Feet.

Feet. Feet. Feet. Oh, like a French poodle or a dog? Those are hundred dogs. Those are bad asses. Actually, Navy Seals use them for one of those little white ones. Yeah.

Really? The little pom-poms and the shaved bellies and everything. Yeah. That's not very intimidating baby seals use them as hunting dogs don't what anything what is a Navy seal aren't they like like here are these shit yeah yeah so what it was a dog and in the fucking water with them sometimes you're full of shit swear So where to go? No way. There's a frog man need a little get on your square gear swimming right next to

them. Shit. They're also land days. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. They're not just a frog man. No, not just frog man.

Go ahead. Look it up. What I'm looking at for because because the special forces uses German shepherds, the army which are lit intimidating dogs. Very.

They are sorry. They are non sporting group. This is what they're here considered. Hold on. I have a cop buddy who does the, he's the K9 unit. And I said, let me ask you a question. I said, because his dog seemed really well trained, except when it comes time to let go. Like, I've seen so many videos where like,

a guy is subdued by a dog and he shaken his head and the dude is screaming as this dog rips through his muscle and they're yelling whatever command of the dog and the dog is not letting go and they're like trying to pull it and shit and he's like yeah a lot of times dogs listen to the like let go command. That boy is like fuck it who cares like that's their fun time. Yeah the dogs. Yeah some guy was coming at him with a knife and he sent the dog and he was like, I'm going to release the dog and the guy dropped the knife. He's like, I don't want to fuck with a dog.

Yeah, I don't see a picture of, oh my god. Wow, it's like one of those stereotypical like, like dogs that like yeah at the ball and on his tail like you know it's like cut to look like a yeah at the end they are pretty too much wow I never would have thought that I was gonna say that one well this is this is a poodle yeah look at the top a little picture maybe sales use uh poodles as their hunting dress nice that's the picture you pull up.

It's never going to end. It is their date. Tell us the date. Hey, if you want to check out the accompanying video to see what was in my stove and why we had to cut the episode short, then you could check out the video on at TESDTown on Twitter or the Thelm Steve Dave official Facebook page but a warning it's terrifying. It's disturbing and you know just want to let all you people know out there you know viewer discretion is advised.

advised.