Tell Em Steve-Dave - #420: The Brothers Grimm(Er)

Episode Date: September 15, 2019

Bry’s brothers, Erik and Darin, drop by to tell tale of growing up Johnson.

You guys get crazy when you got together as I like, you know, a lot of race hell is crazy them going out without inviting me then yeah, they're wacky as hell. Then they're nutty. Why do you want to go? Why don't you tell your friend like, let's go somewhere where we can talk and catch up, Not listen to the fucking funkadelic sounds, whoever the fuck this is. That's how he got to work to check his nuts. Get up in here and have prostate points. I don't care for a guy, he doesn't really work this way. Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.

Possibly. This could be on Patreon. Well, we don't even know. I think this could be a record on when we don't have Q and the seat like you need a emergency pod. You have this one holster. We'll record it right in. It's the all family pod. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. That Johnson's on one side and, uh, and father and son on the other, Walton Gidham. And then, uh, my brother, uh, Eric is here from California. Parents get real impressed. Like, like, they want to impress upon other people, like, oh, my son lives in California,

like moving to another state is impressive and going to it, so. I think it has a connotation of achievement. Just even leaving the state is an achievement. Right, like your kids are not constantly with in your site. Yeah, well that they escaped and it come back still, so. Yeah, in our home Leaving the houses and achievement

And I just direct someone who has gone in a long time. I mean, I know the last time I don't know if you were guys remember but I remember the last memory Beth asked me and I thought it might have been the live show we did Where we did that live show when you were there in Houston? No, he appeared on a Christmas episode. Yeah. Somebody ate pudding. Sunday Jeff had the pudding. Sunday Jeff. Okay.

But Darren was part of that. I don't remember what aspect, but I know it was good episode too. Yeah. So every episode he's been honest and fucking $10. Right. So you bring him on once every five years and he fucking turns his pitch out. But yeah, Darren, you're here for people who didn't listen to the Christmas special or whatever show that was. It wasn't Houston Houston, it wasn't the one where we took.

No, it was Dallas. Oh, it was a Dallas? Yeah, I think so, right? That's a very early Yeah, I think so right But yeah, little bro Darren hold you know 42 14 just turn 42 did you get our our voice message me and sage yep? I was camping. Oh Yeah, yeah, you like to camp. He's one of these. Yeah, you're the that likes to camp. I air camps. Oh, you have to like to camp.

Brought, you don't like to camp, huh? I'll go, I'll camp if it's like a cabin or something. I don't like to tent and sleep in on the ground. I don't like to do it like the old school, like in a tent. So is stick him out of the pup tent? Is Brian the most feminine of the three brothers with in terms of not like, you know, being very, not talking about soccer,

definitely not so panny yeah he's like the softer stuff the two bros um he yeah he likes his uh yeah if somebody's gonna bail from the wilderness and head to like a resort it's 100% gonna be brine you think yeah yeah I don't know if that's a to like a resort, it's under for sake, gotta be briled. You think? Yeah. I don't know if that's a fair assist.

I don't think you're not against him. The thing you've taken sage. I've got, I've never taken sage. Tracy took her one, so no, no. Somebody got sick, you got sick. And I think maybe she went one other time. She went like that wolf. Oh wolf, that is not can't

no no no no they they can't outside the place they go to the like they only went to the water park they could have been i'm not even sure there's nothing camping about that will flogge i mean that is a result of no i mean it was no no no it's the she's they can't near by they did not show me footage of Darren taking the day.

So many chips. No, they went to a nearby campground and just went for the day. Oh, okay, took all the water. Yeah, and they went for like three or four days at range, like poured every day. It's like, that's the kind of shit I don't want to do with. That, bugs, all the other things.

I don't know. Yeah. How do you deal with the bugs when you go camping? I must taste like ass because they don't I don't get tons of mosquito bites Fly still like I just haven't enjoyable scanner whatever I got I had we went to Guatemala and my friends were like destroyed their whole backs like covered like they had a Like a rash or like anything like and slap leprosy or something and they were all loaded with the bug protected

I didn't wear it at all. He must give out some sort of national Firmones. Yeah, some Firmones going on. What about the doc? What do you think? Is he this ass smell that he has taste? It's on his dating profile. I must taste like ass. And must is underlying. So it's like, where is the inflection here? So, but he definitely is probably the manliest of the Johnson's. I mean, he'll even camp in the snow.

I don't think it all comes down. Not really. I mean, I do like back in and so I'll go out for a few days. No, we're with a couple people. The longest trip ever done is 55 miles. How many days? In four. We was up in New York around.

I want to see, was it candlesticks? Could you do a lax or something? Could you do avers? of you do a burst no i would have no interest in doing you like you're ripped i just like i haven't seen it a long time he's he looks like uh... like a Charles out of the no like he's wearing a leopard skin bikini uh... you know he's got his guns and i got a lot of go like if you said I I'm gonna do whatever's this year. I'd be like Sam You look like I bet if I actually took my shirt off

He won't make it to the base He's not gonna make it through the airport The sharpers late good there is I gonna soon as I get some scissors. I'm gonna take my shirt So yeah, um, DARREN 42, Eric, you just earned about 43. 43? 43? And you are 51. 51. 51, yeah. Soon to be 52. Won't be that long. Won't be that long. Won't be that long. When you refer to yourself, do you still call yourself 50 or you just like do you? I just say 50. Yeah. I won't be that long. When you refer to yourself, do you still call yourself 50 or are you just like, do you? I just say 50.

I'm stopping counting at 50. Is that our 29? Yeah. I think it should have been 49, so we weren't 50. I don't mind saying 50, but I'm not gonna mention, like if when I'm 50 through, I'm gonna be like, I'm 50. Yeah.

I'm just gonna say, I'm 50. No matter how long it goes. Yeah. You're 80 or like, I'm 50. Oh, god. I'm 60, I'll say I'm 60, but then when I'm, until I'm 70, I'll just say I'm 60. I'm 50 closer to 60.

Was there anything that came along with turning 50? You don't strike me as a kind of guy. That would be like, oh man, I can't believe it. Yeah, it's just all about ignoring it and not even acknowledging it. Did you have one of those partners? That seems to be working for Gail. Did you have one of those parties where That seems to be working for Gimm.

Did you have one of those parties where everyone got you stuff from Spencer's like the over-the-hill stuff? Nope. We know what acknowledged birthdays other than just like a birthday cake, but we don't dwell on the age of the number. Just the number. Of course your daughters don't. They're like teenagers. What about the, does she care? Yeah., when you get to our advanced age, you don't want to acknowledge our mortality. You don't want to acknowledge it and you're just like, fuck, you want to hear me complain about it? No, nobody wants to. Get an old and shit. It sucks.

So, what was the last time all three Johnson brothers were able to hang in yesterday at Pam's during a barbecue? I really tried to start a fight just nothing took me. Yeah you just came to visit right? Yeah you guys get crazy when you got together is it like you know know, a lot of race hell. It's crazy them going out without inviting me, then yeah, they're wackiest hell. Then they're nutty. Yeah.

Cause I find out, I'm like, hey Pam, where's Eric and Darren? I know Eric's here like, oh, they went to New York without you. It's not like you have a lot to do. Like you can drop the, pretty much do it. I got nothing of free time. No, you know? I went up there just to walk around the city. Maybe I run into

As you can see that invitation bra you want to go where New York? I don't know I go to New York once a week now because I do a show with Iraq I Go up there to see jiggy sometimes be cute, you know, so you're you never know native New Yorker almost do it on a big apple or Anyone else bridge and tunnel people. It's it sucks. I hate New York Why'd you just big bro? Yeah, what happened? No, he's gonna say no There's no way I'm gonna say hey, do you want to go to New York to see a band and my friends that you don't know that well? Is that what you did? Yeah, oh damn it. And there's no way he's going to say yes.

What kind of drugs? Do you want to look at prostitutes? Yeah. Maybe we could find a homeless person. Oh really, so it was a, and you wanted to go to that, huh? Yeah. Do they got any fucking iron to pump oil in there? That was climb. Who wants to talk about my

like I met those guys? You met him? Yeah. A couple times. At the gym. What kind of music was it? It was like some funk band that my friend liked. He wanted to see. I didn't really know him. I just wanted to go see my friends. Oh I thought your friends were in the band.

That's what I wanted. Oh you went with your friend to see a band that he liked? Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's why you don't ask me. That's why. But I actually had the opportunity.

Oh, fucking, make fun of you for doing it. What you want to do. What you're doing, church, yeah. So you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're here. And what you want to do, you're just going to have him fucking criticized. Yeah, he's like, what should I ask him to go go no, he'll ruin it. He'll just ruin it He's like I'll come all the way from across the country

You can take two hours to go see some shit band. I'm fucking obligated. Is it why do you want to go? Why don't you tell your friend like let's go somewhere where we can talk and catch up not listen to the fucking funk and funk Adelaide sounds it whoever the fuck this is I Mean we're talking we're having a good time. You're shouting though, right? You have to chalk louder than normal when you're at, uh, yeah, right. I want to see a band and any of you went out to some bars afterwards. And oh, yeah.

Tied one on. Yeah, Johnson. So like, when you guys go out to bars, if do you guys like, do you guys like, like, do the Johnson's like, when you guys go out to Barsif, do you guys like to do the other, do you look, pick somebody out, like maybe some other people, like we're gonna fuck with those guys tonight or like there was ever a little key.

Well, if Darren picks it, we don't, because we're a chippendale, we don't wanna get our asses kicked. Hahaha. Barsif has a little key when the brother's reunion. I think if anybody's gonna start shit with somebody else, it's not me and you. Yeah, there's another guy who after one tipping point drink is like, it's everyone's

false. Maybe not as much anymore. Yeah, back in the day, you live in an angry young man. You don't go to the bars anymore and tear it up. Um, I see back in the day I was pissed off when I couldn't score a chick, so I just wanted to bust somebody's fucking head open at the end of the night. Because I was afraid. That doesn't sound like the line.

And the buster, not a buster head. Exactly. It's about like final statements from so many mass shooters It was it was about release of testosterone Yeah, so you but yeah, so maybe I don't have as much testosterone anymore, but um Pick you and shit. Yeah, it wasn't even worth addressing you You say that you've been in some legitimate like I mean Brawl's that you've been in some legitimate like bar forms. I mean, thralls?

Only like maybe two where there's more than just a couple people scrapping, but. You live in Texas for a while. You never got into like the whole bar, never brought in. Texas is like, they're loaded with state police. No they have guns, though. And their bars, yeah. No, everybody's carrying. Yeah.

Well, not the Pretty much they all have them in their cars not in the club In the barn outside nobody let's take this outside. No nobody ever pulled a gun on me in Texas Yeah, I got plenty of verbal scrapes down here because everybody's Allowed now. Why is it that the Johnson's are prone to verbal? Scrapes should I should have brought a grunt answer this? Because I feel like a no in your brother here. It's things like it's it's a daily occurrence. I'll tell you an anecdote I'm just a minute after he's Now do you find yourself being in a lot of verbal like

People like these guys now. I'm I'm he's been kicked out of restaurants though for causing problems like in his town he's permanently kicked out of a restaurant get the fuck out of that I got him a waychress because they they had a $50 bill and they charged me something like $250 by mistake they charged me for somebody else Right. And then she came back and she was like, well, I have to charge you again. Like another like for my regular meal. And so I got mad and I left. But I didn't get it out. You want to say she made you. I mean, you're a bad girl. You're wife told us you got it. So you want it to, you want it to meal for free because she messed up? No, I just didn't want to pay another $50. Well what happened? What happened was he gave her the credit card. The lady accidentally charged the wrong bill. So now it's but it's a debit card, right?

Yeah, and he was like a poor student. He wasn't fucking daddy war bucks. Doctor. Yeah over here So the lady's like, okay, I accidentally charge it, but when I refund it, it's gonna take a couple days to go back into your account. I'm gonna need it again for your meal now, and he's like, what the fuck? Why don't you just take leave difference? Yeah, the difference. Yeah, refund the difference. You would think that's what they would do, and you're not dealing with it. But they didn't, and so I got mad, and then the guy at the table next to me was like Oh, I want you leave our loan. So I was like, why don't you shut the fuck up

He's like You were like that I was like shut the fuck up I tried not to more reserved and you know docile Johnson and you know docile johnson and mostly if somebody interacts with me and that sort of way I can't you got this sometimes so the johnson the johnson's like hair on the back of the just rises and there's no you can't stop it

it's johnson hackle activate the johnson jeans are taken over the other cells yeah it's kind of like an all or nothing thing. So you just go all in. And you got banned from the restaurant? No, I just assumed I showed my face to the internet anymore because the whole thing was just like, why am I going to spend my money there? Okay.

I remember hearing banned, which was backed up by your wife wife who is embarrassed of you. Yeah, she was pretty upset It was mother's day No, I wasn't drunk at all You take your wife off from other countries and like what you $50 I was poor I was poor man. I didn't really have money. It's like, you know, not always different. He's 40 years old, pulling the poor college student card. So, yeah.

Yesterday I was in the food town parking lot right by where we live. And if I go to the pizza place, usually I just go behind the food town and then pull up around there. So I'm not supposed to go back here. It says, I'm not going back here. I saw that sign. The rules don't apply. go up around there. Yeah, you're not supposed to go back here. It says, I'm not. Go back here. I saw that side. I don't apply.

I'm not going to get a shot. Not going to get a shot. I saw that side of the coup with that up. That's illegal. Yeah, how do I know it's legal? Yeah. But as I'm coming along the side of the building, there's a stop sign and then I would take a left. Now, I take the stop sign and as I'm turning into this left

and it's sort of a narrow like it's right front of like a plaza, like a shopping plaza. So the Langer kind of narrow, but as I'm turning some old lady pulls up and she just goes right into the turn, doesn't stop, goes right into the turn, then starts to wave in her hands at me. She always hit the side of my car. And I'm looking at her. I mean, sage is in

the car with me. Sage is now conditioned to be like, what is this? I'm gonna be a mild outburst or is this gonna be something major? So she's looking at me. I'm like, it's all right. Because I wasn't in a bad mood. And the lady's waving her hands. I rolled down the window and I'm like, what? And she's like, you could of let me go. And I said, what do you talk? I was like, what? And she's like, you could have let me go. And I said, what are you talking? I was like, one, you're on my side of the road right now. She was literally halfway into my lane,

so I couldn't even go forward. I said, secondly, you didn't stop for a stop sign. I was like, I don't understand where are you right in this equation. And she's like, you know, you could have just been polite. Let me go. I was like, I was already in the turn. And she's like, she starts rolling up her window. I said, go home, go forth knowing you were wrong. I was like, lady, you know, you could have just been polite, let me go. I was like, I was already in the turn. And she's like, she starts rolling up her window.

I said, go home, go forth knowing you were wrong. I was like, lady, you're wrong. And she's like rolling up the window and driving away at the same time. So this is a very mild, super mild. Because I didn't, yeah, I didn't, yeah, I'm really trying to not lose it, you know, I'm trying to do this little sea lioning here and there, trolling people.

Dave, before I got to an argument, some fucking hostess, lady, at her restaurant. It's so annoying because she's, it's like, why are you talking to me like this? Like you're doing me a favor by seating me in your fucking restaurant. Who the fuck do you think you are? Do you're a hostess at a fucking suburban restaurant?

Do you keep bail money in your Jeep just so that when you eventually do get arrested, somebody can bail you out for? So either sage or Mary Beth can bail you out. What do you mean, Bull? What did she say that was so egregious though, that could be? Well, hello. Because, yeah.

Look at the bread lees. She fucking squeaky. When you squeaky, hello. No, it was right across the street. And I go over, I was like, hey, Teele for two. And she's like, inside or outside, I was like, outside. She's like, all right, it's gonna be like a 20 minute wait. And there's a table open. I said, I said, what about that table?

Totally like thinking, maybe she didn't see it. I wasn't like an asshole. And she looks up at me as if I'm the biggest fucking moron on earth and she's like, there's a waiting list. And I was like, all right, where are they? And she's like, I called them. I said, okay, so it's okay, I put my name on the list, I'm just gonna go home and relax and you can call me

and I'll just come and get my table then. Because I'm like, fuck you, fuck you, inch. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to like that, you stupid little twat Do you agree with this? Does this make you, does this get the same response from you? Yes, absolutely, 100% that would irritate your life and shit out of me It's like who do you, who are you kind of sending to? I don't understand, like I didn't do anything wrong I wasn't an asshole, I'm always polite to people Did same response from you?

No, because I understand how restaurants work. Oh, you can just take off and be like, hey, I'll be back when I'm back. And if any fucking stupid asshole with the fucking comes here, all the time shows up and wants to eat, just tell him to wait. That's not the way restaurants work. The way it works is.

It is though, now. But I mean, you give your cell phone number then they, so you don't have to stand there so you can put a shot. But even if it does work that way, it could have been, this is how easy it is. And I'm not a customer relations guy, this is how easy it is. It's just like, oh, you know what? We have a waiting list that will text people. So if they're not here in 10 minutes, that'll be your table.

So it's that simple. Most telling is that when you started telling the story, I thought you were talking about dinner tonight because you got mad at the hostess. I did get mad at her too. It's true. I forgot about that. She's a beside common denominator.

What's wrong to be a noise buyer? I mean, it's like why does everyone have to have such a contattitude and it's her job? You're talking a ball of sunshine? But not with a turd job. We go to the restaurant. There's not one person in there aside from us, right? She sits us right in the middle at a table and I was like,

Hey, can we get a booth? Immediately with the fucking face. And even before that, I'll go so far as to say, Stupid, nobody likes sitting in the middle. When you go to a restaurant, do you like sitting in the middle? No, you don't you want to fuck it. Bulls at me Hey, do you want to sit in the middle of the restaurant? You'll expose there just hang back You fucking you fucking son sonny fucking gangsters sonny curly on

Maybe The gun take the canola I said to him I heard an expression once if you run into a country hostess in the morning right into a country hostess if you run into a country hostess every day Yeah, I'm open to the country hostess. I didn't this read it though. She had an attitude, right? No, whether or not I decide to address that is the question. I always decide to address it I mean she's probably told that she shouldn't do that and that's why she was probably upset, you know, a little bit. Oh yeah, that does look like the right way.

She did give a little bit of a, like, not happy, but we got exactly what we wanted. Yeah, so it's all that matters. But I mean, I didn't go on and on about it. You know, I actually forgot about it. I forgot to, maybe for like a minute or two. But like, I forgot about it until right now. I wouldn't have cited that the other the other girl

I'm just like you got to be fucking kidding me with this girl. So why do you think Your mother gave birth to three powder kegs Because you married me I don't know if I was born a Cake but I was certainly certainly yeah so you you trace this all back to living with a with a father who had a next I guess someone say an explosive

I mean if like say it is my nature which is possible people are assholes people are nice people are whatever. So say it is my nature. Having a curse. So what was about the worst that you could do for a child with that nature? That's not the shepherd you're looking for.

Yeah. So would you say you were living in a powder keg and throwing off sparks? Yeah. Essentially. Has your father, the mellowed, as he's gotten older? Oh yeah. So you probably have to. I'm especially after his cancer treatment Essentially has your father though mellowed as he's gotten older oh yeah So you're so you probably after his

Cancer treatment with those The hormone pills or whatever the hell they had them on. Oh, this is yeah You never revealed this yeah, I don't know if it was my place No one you never revealed this. Yeah, I don't know if it was my place. It was my place, I guess. I actually kind of forgot about it. Oh my God. But he like he's better, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I think he's better. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. Well, I never trusted him to tell me the truth because I feel like he would tell. He would tell Eric the truth because he knows Eric wouldn't say anything. But he has this thing. That's how I got Eric to check his nuts.

Yeah. Oh my god. Get up in there and I'll prostate. Boy, I can't. I don't care for a guy. He doesn't really work this way. Yes sir. I seem to think he would ask him for the free second opinion. Oh man, I had a good question.

I was afraid of that. Oh my god, there's just so much going on. There's so many things I want to ask though. Alright, let's all take a deep breath. Let's all just call it that. The cancer thing. What year would this be? Oh shit.

Was it like four years ago? Four or five years ago. It was longer than that. It was six years ago. Well, can you reveal what it was? longer than that. It was six years ago. We, what, can you reveal what it was? Or would that be to invasion of privacy? Yeah.

Okay, right. I don't know. What do you know if they would care or listen or what? Yeah, pro-six. And that's a pretty serious one to beat, right? Yeah, it's very simple. It's like a pro-lab stain as he was walking around the house without pants on.

Drag it all over. Well, this is, this is not one that's locked. House without pants on it. Drag it all over. No, no, no. Well, I'll see. So this is not one that lots of people says come to this one. Yeah, so it's true. I mean, it's hard to catch because a lot of males don't want to screen for it.

And they don't want to get their prostate resected because then you get a rectile dysfunction. That's why it's hard to tell who's the manliest Johnson because we're all like, I'd rather have cancer than have a finger in my ass. I'm strict goddamn it. So, but he's all good now. Yeah, he's in remission. He has to go back every six months just to get scanned.

Just make sure he's still alive. And you would play the treatment though as calming him down. He was calming down beforehand, but that shit saptan It took me he was he was even aggressive and And like weirdly like Morose and suicidal yeah, you know like because you're feeling that You're gonna get sick and get sicker maybe and you don't want it. I think it might have been a meds That's possible. Yeah, so yeah, you basically want to get sick and get sicker maybe, and you don't want to. I think it might have been the meds. That's possible.

Oh, you can't that do it. So yeah, you basically want to stop a person's testosterone really, so the cancer doesn't continue to grow. And then he had radiation. And he had all this. Yeah, and the medication is very draining. Do it again. Radiation over kids way, hold down.

I just want to talk to down. I don't know. I mean, when he first told me, I thought he actually almost sounded happy. Like, you know, how it goes. I got my ticket. I'm gonna sit here and wait. Now, what was your mother's reaction to this? She must have been heart-like terrified, right? Yeah, you know, she was.

She was on match.com to hours later. She was. She wasn't a ball of tears. Like, I thought she was just like, we got to encourage him to get treatment. Because at first, he was like, I don't think I'll do the treatment in those types of things.

And I'm like, why wouldn't you? It's like the prognosis isn't that bad if it's caught early. So... John Wayne didn't look at how he turned out. Yeah. So, but he decided to do it and now everything's fine. Oh, that's great. Yeah.

So, I mean, so the outlook for you guys though is unless you get cancer, your guys are still gonna remain. Or at least take the men's. Angry and explosive. I guess so, that's the only hope for hostesses everywhere I mean we're all an increased risk now because Ed yeah yeah so that's like one final you're constantly getting your bug hold check aren't you I know kidding I had to got I got a check today. Got somebody new?

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It's mdrncbd.com code to eSD. Go use it. Oh, yeah, because I got a blood test recently. And what I went to the urologist today, he was like, oh, yeah, this PSA is cold. Hi. And it's associated with prostate cancer. He's like, so I got a check.

And then he's like, then he thinks it's an aberration or something wrong with the test because he's like so I got a check and then he's like then he thinks it's an Abberation or something wrong with the test because he's like I don't feel anything No, he's like last or two months ago. It was normal. Now it's this high He's like that's not the way it goes. That's not the way it happens. Really? Yeah. So I gotta get it, he's like, it can be any number of things.

Right in a motorcycle too much. He's like, can do it. Like, cause I guess you're absent on here. Yeah, he's like, especially with dildo and you're as wild you're riding it. Cause I guess like the jarring, the jarring of the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the butthole or whatever is that the medical Well, I'm not a proctologist, but I know you want to be a proctology buddy, the kick-off will be a two-eager. The PSA level was stopped

they stopped using it to monitor for screen or screen for prostate cancer because of too many false positives. Too many variables. Yeah, and so a lot of people are getting their prostate resected, and then they all had a rectile dysfunction. And so then, you know, you got to get a good, some blue show. Did that girl have the all beeps? He didn't have, he didn't have to have a

resection. So, like, you go in and you cut the prostate. Oh, right. So, what about the other thing that you did you milk it for him? Yes, doctor. As a doctor? I mean, he should really be followed up.

Closely, did you tell him that Edgar had a process of cancer? Yeah. Yeah, okay. So we had a good chuckle for a while. I don't even know the guy. Look at what you tell this story. I mean, come on. Wow, the guy. Look at what you tell this story. I mean, come on. It's like, wow, this guy. Yeah.

Yeah. I know. Darren's like, hey, you want to hear some other shit that's fucked up? I missed out on a, you probably didn't go either. There was a big family breakfast this morning. Yeah, you didn't go, right? You went to work?

Yeah, it didn't work. Yeah, you went. How was it? How do you like coming back and visiting the family? I hardly ever see anyone because everyone's this seems so close and so emotionally kind of really don't want to visit them. But like when you come back, do you drive around and

look at the things that like have changed since you were here last? I mean a little bit. I mean mostly you're just running around seeing people for like a lunch or this or that. We're shitty rock shows. You know, being like this might be the last time I ever see you at this point. Why? Why? Because I use PSA really.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, say... Probably when you were talking, I didn't know when you were talking to your friends you wouldn't say that right? No, I mean. Because I'm talking to your friends you wouldn't say that right No, I Do it the doctor today aside from that PSA he's like you're in perfect health your your blood pressure He's like totally totally normal every single level. He's like it's right where it should be So I'm sticking around for a while Good knock one otherwise I'll probably get into a crash

Like this healthy mother fucker died damn So I mean it's it's These guys live right next to each other. They don't talk to each other probably in I'm gonna go as soon as I got my bike put back together. Oh, okay. Yeah, but it doesn't seem like there's like an ocean between highlands and port mom with for some reason. Does it feel like there's an ocean? Yeah, like do you go to see your mom that much or does she mostly come to see you?

My mom's a sea of me. Yeah, so it's not like I don't think it's the same dynamic that you have with your parents. I don't know. I went to your house for Christmas and even your mom were kind of like, that odds ready for some physical stuff. They're all fighting. Yeah, it's weird. Like, we were a couple of weeks ago,

a month ago, we, me and Mary Beth and Sage, drove out to Ohio. I did a con out there and we went to Mary Beth. We visited with her parents. We rented a cabin. It was me, Sage, Mary Beth, and then her parents were there in this big cabin And yeah, the way they interact I'm like You look at them like a dog exactly

Talked like what exactly is going on here They say I love you to each other. Yeah, you know this because I'm in the room Yeah, what are you doing? Why are the plates on the table and not- She's like, no, yeah, it's really weird to watch. And even like, yeah, you and your mom, like, oh, he's laughing and having a good time. I'm like, but nobody's making fun of each other.

And no one's calling out grievances from decades ago. But I would go to your in the 80s, I spent some time at the Johnson Household. I would come up. I never saw, to me it looked like a very like fucking 50s sitcom kind of household. That's how I saw it. With an occasional like, you know, Little dust up.

But without, without, without war die die I always felt that like Edgar was right What'd you think was gonna happen fuck you walk? I mean dude, I think back to the the scorpion slash spider incident. I'm like he's a hundred percent right Yeah, you were just that hard-headed fuck was a jerk off a total jerk off Yeah, I want not really rebellion, but just you know, you know, but rebelling enough Where you're like I'm gonna keep my pet not pay my phone bill I suppose like I'm in this gang and if you don't like it will burn the house down Yeah, there was anything super rebellious like that some of the shit, yeah, it was definitely my fault,

but his shit was like hair trigger temper. Suddenly, I mean, like you're a kid, you're 12 and suddenly you say the wrong thing and it's not like I started making Y's S remarks when I was 18. So you do it when you're a kid, I was honing my act and I'd get attacked. I remember getting kicked in the back. I wasn't even expecting it one time Like I remember when

Well it likes to contest this but when you really have a lot of money We were rich before these two came along Yeah, and suddenly the addition of the two youngest Johnson's put a the addition of the two youngest Johnson's put a a damper on the party. Yeah, you never saw a 10-year-old so in favor of Roe vs. Williams. But you know, whatever. But there were so many contributing factors like it's the 70s so smack in your kids round is not that huge a deal.

It's a 70s so we're in a full recession, almost depression. It's the 70s, Edgar, for whatever reason, decides to leave a secure job and start his own company. Why not, and that many people are building shit? He made a go of it for a while, but it was just like not the time to start a business. So, he was like all these things, it's like, it doesn't add up to him being like, he wasn't a hippie. The guy was going to go to military school before Pam was like all these things, it's like, it doesn't add up to him being, like, he wasn't a hippie. The guy was gonna go to military school

before Pam was like, oops, I got some pregnant. And the burden came along. Pre-ro versus Wade. So I'm sure at that age there's resentment. It has to focus somewhere and if you can't turn it in words, you know, like the kid you like you're painting, yes. And I think about like if I were 21 or 22 and had a kid, I wouldn't be a good parent,

you know, I'd be a shitty parent. I don't know if I would explode like that on the kids, but I don't know that I wouldn't. Like if I get mad usually it's it's property destruction, you know, uh, sages there something. Tarrant is all the time. Is that one of the things that you've had it like you get out of your property? You got to destroy shits. You don't destroy the person, you know, you got it. You got it.

You're so fucking mad. It's like something's got to break. And we wonder why you're going into construction. Yeah, that's ironic. That's where I learned it. Yeah, so that has to go somewhere. So for me, it's like any time, like I've never hit sage. And I ask her sometimes, I'm like, anybody ever hits you?

Right. And who do you think's going to say yes, though? Oh, no, I'm asking her. I'm not asking random people. No, like I ask her. I know you're asking her, but who you think? Who is the host possibly that would hit her, though? Another child, you mean?

Another kid or, you know, her sister used to smack her hand when she was younger. Like she'd be like, oh, she's cursed. I'm like, you can fucking hardly tell the kid's saying. So it's not a curse. You know, she's like six, seven years old. So every once in a while, I'll ask her, but, you, she always says, I just want to make sure she's all right. Can I ask a question to each of you? Because I feel like most kids know.

I don't know if it's too uncomfortable. I already know what you're going to ask. And I already have my answer. But who do you think is the favorite out of the four of you guys? You want me to answer? Well, yeah. Well, it's me. What do you agree with that?

No, I don't. No. By process of elimination, I already have said it's not him. It is clearly not my sister So I'll be between me and Darren and I would have to say it's Darren. I think Darren Yeah, yeah, he's the baby. He's the baby. You agree with that? No, I still think Eric's the favorite. Yeah, well at least I still think they're the most proud of him Followed probably by Brian although Edgar has his bizarre ways of showing it But the doctor thing with status thing is like huge, like that. And in dad's mind, I think it's, it's like a real serious accomplishment. More so than podcast.

Well, that's like, I think that's something he doesn't, he can't understand, maybe. What are you TV show? Were you driven though to become a doctor to get that love? More to put it in Edgar's face. No, not to put it in. No, not to put it in. I'm going on. I mean, I think maybe I'm not the favorite.

Maybe they're just like relieved more. Like it's just a sense of relief. Like somebody made something of themselves. Yeah. So just because I've always kind of followed a relatively normal path regular path. Oh, like we're fucking didn't let's get them out Yeah, I've like a Joe job in construction talking about a normal path Yeah, you've had a lot of other jobs beforehand where I kind of had a more linear type of life

So I he's an academic over here you know yeah if he's always going to school or he's like one of these lifetime students oh life is an education yeah fuck him to the it yeah let's take it yeah well I didn't think I mean that was insanely quick though it was really bad

you know something I don't know evidently you know something, I don't, I haven't know that you know it too. It's the banner to it breakfast this morning. Eric's our favorite. I think, I think Pam, in any given moment her favorite could shift. It's whoever she's with

and she'll talk shit about other people. Oh, she'll do it to the floor. Oh, yeah. She'll do it to all, she'll do it to all four of'll do it to all for us. My mother would never do that to me, to my sister. I mean, I don't know, but like, she has never, ever spoken about my sister in a way that I'll be like, get the hell out of here.

Even like when maybe there was some times that she could have, never once, didn't she? Never talked any shit about her? Never. How? I said, I'm annoyed with my sister a lot, so if I say something, she will jump in, but I know that when I leave, like if my sister comes over,

she's like, oh hey, who are you? It's only class one. Pinocchio, a lot of a fucking box. It's a classy. A classy like that. Oh my goodness. Yeah, so, yeah, okay, so I guess it is Eric's the favorite then. I think Darren, that would be my guess.

Ain't don't it on him? Don't it on him enabled more than the rest of us. Really, how so? Yeah, and you talk about a drug addict who lived at home at 45. Do they have a room available? Yeah, yeah. This is good. I mean, he lives here now. He's your new son.

Okay, Rhett. I think that Pam especially just always is like on the lookout for Darren, you know. I think both of them would help us no matter what we needed. But especially Pam, I think, had a soft spot for Daren. I mean, I thought dad more so than even mom. Oh, because he's good at like paying a shit. He's good at like Daren's good at mechanics and you know, all that nonsense that people

find valuable. Yeah. They do find valuable and that's the problem. It's like, oh, can you fix my car? We had a barbecue yesterday. Three different people are on them about fixing their cars. I think that's what's great about being Brian Johnson. No, you don't have no mechanical ability. So nobody ever asked people. People like, who can I call? I know who not to call. I post pictures of me destroying shit I've

tried to fix. Look, I need to take down all I know what to call. Yeah, just a hammer home. This is not your guy. Yeah, terrible at that kind of shit. You want me to write some stuff down to insult people? Yeah, give me a call. What more can I tell you about Casper that you don't already know? It's awesome, right?

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And here's our unique URL. This offer is only applicable to select mattress purchases and terms and conditions apply. Don't think otherwise because they do. Get a hundred dollars towards select mattresses by visiting cuspid.com slash TESD and using TESD checkout terms and conditions apply. As I mentioned earlier, that's cper.com slash T-E-S-D. I was asking Eric earlier like what's his new milestone, right? Because me and you haven't really hit a ton I don't think like Eric has got me not any

We can both count graduating high school no one can take that away from us There's proof but then like Eric went on to college and then Eric went on to do a whole bunch of like free community service work type shit, like stuff you never wanna do, working with people you don't wanna know, all that kind of crap. But then after that, so he gets engaged, he gets married, he has a kid, he's got a house, he just got a, he's the director of such and such

over at the clinic, right? New promotion. So there's all these milestones. So like, where do you go from there? Like, what's next? For him? Yeah. Like, where do you get the juice, man?

Maybe a private practice. No, I'm gonna, I work with low income people. So I'm just, ee-e-e-e. Oh, wow. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,. Wow. I mean, there's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

but, but are you, so you have no interest in opening up your own private? I mean, I like helping people out. And if you do private practice, then it turns the relationship a little bit. Cause I have to pay. Yeah, they,

they have to pay most. My patients don't pay. Cause they don't have any money. And before he sounds, yeah, before you let me make some self-sum too generous, the state pays. I get paid by the government or whatever. So it's easier to get the money from the state than worried about how then a private practice to get the money. I mean, I guess so because you would have to set up your own business and stuff. And you talk to doctors and they're like,

the insurance companies give you fuck all in terms of like, all right, I perform this service. I charge 50, they're like, we'll give you five. Right, that's the way it goes pretty much. Yeah, and you have to do kind of like things like you'll, people that are successful at private practice will like see people every month, even though they don't have to,

just because they can make more money, or they can do, they play all these little tricks so they can increase the profit. And I'm just not interested in that. All right, so it's not a private practice, what about a book? Like write a book? Like write a book about a patient

or write a book about your life. Using real life. All your life. I mean, also though, it's a private practice me and Darryl run your billing department. And the apartment. Old department. Well, I've had a book. I'm, I mean, I could, I guess, try to write a book.

I would have takes a lot of time. What would you write about autobiography man? The Eric Johnson story. And it's like what's the what's the angle though? Is it like how he fought his way up from this fucking ignorant sub-intellect class of people? To stand out to work with a poor. I mean, it's just an interesting journey, though, with a somewhat famous brother. It's just the, it built, I guess the journey itself. I'm just, I'm still reeling from the compliment

of somewhat famous brother. I love it. That's giving me more than I think I deserve. I love it. What about you, Dad? What are your milestones? You've got no milestones, bro. Me either.

We're not married. I'm like, we don't own a house. It's true. Oh, that's right. You don't own a house. I'm never own that piece of shit. Can we get one pretty soon, though? Within a year, we're going to find a place.

OK. It's expensive by us. Holy shit. Yeah. Oh, my god. I mean, well, you know, you're still relatively young. Can we get one pretty soon with any year gonna find a place okay expensive by us holy shit Yeah, oh my god, I mean, well, you know, you're still relatively young I mean, I wouldn't put pressure not you toilet there. Oh, okay I was like second-component I mean there's like a time for the for milestones and I mean in these are societies milestones. Yeah, yeah Those are the ones account right what society's milestones. Yeah, I mean if you these are societies milestones. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the ones that count, right?

What societies milestones? Yeah. I mean, if you put a lot of stock in, you know, living a complete full life. Being happy. You know, all these things that people get caught up in. Strange concepts. They get something yourself. Being a valuable member to society. Contributing, I guess.

You know what I mean. But yeah, like do you feel you're close to getting engaged to? No. No. Yeah, because I don't know that I would ever get married. I might eternally like date the same person, but. Mm-hmm. Why is it you're not a big believer in marriage?

Um. You got a play. He has got a play. Not really. Yeah, no. Yeah, it's like, it's sort of a real, no. No. Just sort of a religious thing.

Nothing that I was ever like, I want to get married. I want to have kids. Nothing, none of that kind of drive. If I got married, it would probably just be to satisfy the fiance's desired have a wedding or whatever it's not like I wouldn't change anything for me but do you think that you will I mean if not now when it's getting to that point though or it would be like it's supposed to be on their second to third marriage Yeah, I don't even have that miles

Just before you're like we're like thinking about our mortality. It's like my god. How much longer do you expect to be alive? I just think that like if you do though You're you're setting yourself up for one of those weddings that like you're not gonna get people like that poor girl So you're setting yourself up for one of those weddings that like, you're not gonna get... People are like that poor girl. Also, you're not gonna get all the things that like a young couple would get, you know? You're not gonna get all that. Like a can opener, it's just getting started in like...

Yeah, they're gonna treat you as well. What's like you're meant like the bread makers and the can opener, it's just like register. Yeah, you're not gonna get any of that good stuff. You're just gonna get like... What do I get, you think? Just like a little... People are like, he's somewhat famous. He's got money Basically it that's what it's gonna be and and wishful and a wish of good luck

Well, what do I need because the only people that are gonna be there are people I'm really I was gonna say if he invited anybody It might be like six months down the road. I'm like, oh fuck, I forgot to tell you guys I got married. I want to rule it out. Like I would have ruled it. I would have ruled it out. That is a statement in itself. It is, right? She's a cool check.

I like her. So, I mean, I don't know. But here's the problem. She has the promise to tell me she's anywhere, right? She doesn't, so she's, yeah. I'm not obligating myself in everybody's head. I'm not obligating myself in everybody can be cool man but there is of course the big issue I could die five years after the wedding and she's 30 you know or 35 or whatever you're dead though so

it doesn't matter yes I really know I know I know somehow. You're gonna swear her to not remarry. So she's having a jump on the funeral pyre there. She had better. She had better. She's a horn dog. I can't die knowing she's going to like bring a date to the fucking service probably. So I just got to last five years or so.

So well, I mean, I felt that like if it gets to the point where she's 35, 10 years from now, she'll age out and I won't have to worry about her anymore. Hey, joke to who? To me, I can't date a 35-year-old. Oh, I'm like you were dead in a scenario. No. Anything's possible. So no marriage for you either. in a scenario. No. Maybe. No. Anything's possible. So no marriage for you either.

Yeah, probably. You had to get married, right? Like, you fell under the, I mean, you wanted to, but even if you didn't, she would have been like a shitter. Shitter get off the pot. Shitter get off the pot. You had to get married, right?

Yeah. It's like that. No, you were, you were, you fall under the umbrella of what he was talking about, right? I mean Wedding was pushed up to a very inconvenient time But you know because there was like all of a sudden all this fake urgency around it. Oh, yeah, my wife Yeah, because I was in medical school She wanted to throw a big wedding and it's like I have no money. So how are you gonna do that?

But I'm arguing over 50 bucks with restaurant doors. Did he come to the wedding and you ended up figuring it out? It was an awesome toast. I don't think most of the people really understood what was going on because her family is from Nick Aragua and they're like, they just don't understand who he is. And they're all like fucking eyeing the doors for ice anyway. Like, Rumba, you're a crazy man, you're fucking the poor dude. Or actually, aren't you? I'm a right truly are yeah.

No, I think I read some lines or maybe I did it a live show that I wrote but never said because I'm like even I Can't see like I'm like I know I can't see this so some of the lighters Yeah, I know you said you know what he said about waiting I don't He tells a room full and this is not this is a room for people that I know You know what he said about waiting I don't He tells a room full and this is not this is a room for people that I know people I don't even know I'm half of the room. I don't even know he gets up and tells the room that my wife Saved me and got me off of heroin Never touched a drug in my life. I believe it was specifically methadone, which is you're trying to get off, Harold.

And one person laughed, hurt chuckled, and there I've choked. Except, give me some credit except the one table where our friends were sitting. And I'm so ignorant of drug use And I'm like, oh my gosh. And I'm so ignorant of drug use. I'm like, I don't even know what method I want. What does that mean? I didn't know what it meant. I had no idea what you were talking about.

I was so ignorant on drugling, God. I didn't even know what you had said. I remember you saying that. You're like, I'm like trying to think of what is he saying? And then like, I know it's not something good and Everything starts getting fuzzy Yeah, so I know exactly how you felt yeah, you're just like what is he saying? At the very end though I pimped the upcoming season of comic book man, which I thought was the most important part of the speech

Mm-hmm. That's how I went out. So let me ask you something. If you found a hundred dollars on the street, would you pick it up or keep walking? Of course you'd take the money. So why do you keep picking winners and not betting on them? Hey, that's why I go to my bookie. It's fast, it's easy, and they pay when you win. Let's face it, when you're betting, what? Let's face it, where you're betting is just as important as who you're

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And at one point, they're like, I don't know where the pizza guy is. The pizza should be here by now. And it wasn't. And they're like, I'll take care of this. Well, in a way, in a way. I got excited. I'm like, oh, there's a problem.

The service industry. So many neat shit. I like all there's a problem. The service industry? So many neat shit. I'm giving it. People at Junior Soul Trumble. No, they're like the pizza guy's not here. Maybe he went to the wrong house and blah, blah, blah. And then the two owners of the house walked away into the house.

And then it was just me and Mary Beth, because these other ladies had gone off to talk to their kids or whatever, and the phone rings, the landline phone rings. And I'm like, I'm like, I bet you that's the pizza guy. And Mary Beth is like, maybe. And so I answered it. And it was the pizza guy. And I was like, hey, man, I said, if you're looking at the house, go on the left, because it looks like you can go on the right, but you can't. So go on to the left and there's a gate and blah, blah, blah. And so the kid walks through with the pizza and Marybeth is like, are you crazy?

You can't answer someone else's phone. And I was like, why, though? It's not like it was their doctor and they gave me a privacy, though. They gave me, but the pizza was public. They told everybody, they told everyone we were getting pizza. They gave me but the pizza was public But it's not like if it was somebody else that would have instantly blurted out something sensitive They would have thought they got the wrong number and hung up. Well, they would be like, yeah, who is this? Yeah, I like don't ever call here again I don't think it was that big of a deal, but she seemed to think it was like a they I don't think they even knew I Answered what's the cordless phone it was a cordless phone. That's why it was outside. It does

Right because you could be like you could pick it up and start walking and like after it hits a certain number rings You got to answer it otherwise it's gonna go to be the pizza. Yeah It could be something important and then you could keep keep on the line and go get them and tell them yes This is an important quote phone call for you. Right. I don't like that you answer my phone It doesn't matter something's important. Yeah, thankfully Do you know what was whatever you're welcome? I'm with Brian phones unattended. I'm with Brian this one a landline these people had everything these people had everything. So how long in Jersey for? Just to one say.

Just to one say what else is on the agenda. And what have you done so far? Because I even know he was here yet. Until excited. So yeah, so what do we start? We went to the Giants game. Oh, Chicago. Who went to a Giants game?

You and Edgar? And Darren. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. You know you don't want to go. Got my yep who went to a jazz game you an Edgar and Darren oh You know you don't wanna go I love you and you ain't you football that is like that's the Americana Dream right there fathers and sons the nuclear family that is all rooting for the same team The world there's a football game in August it's pretty. It must be so hot. Yeah, I'll fuck that Wow a giant was at a fun time I imagine right It's a preseason game You watch your drivers license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license.

Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license.

Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license.

Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. Lost his license. I'm probably gonna get a spare face. I just give you that. I can probably call my father and see if he can find it for you. Yeah, it's father works at the method. Yeah, where were you the other day? That's not being invited twice now.

You know what they invite me to shitty breakfast. They're like, hey, you want to go get an omelette with the cousins you don't want to talk to? Oh, yeah. Definitely. You have to see a lot of extended family while you're in town. Yeah, I went and today I saw some second cousins. Who is the most fringe person? Yeah, you're like, I could have went without seeing them. And don't say me because I know it's not true. Like, who's really the most fringe person? That you're like, I mean, it wouldn't have changed a trip either way. Maybe George. Like George, yes.

It's just boy from the one who reminds me of Gidham. Like really? I said it to him yesterday, I was like, he really reminds me of Gidham, but not likeable. Is he better than the last one? I wonder if it was the last one, but I remember you used to talk a lot about Paul. Is he better than Paul?

In as much as he's never threatened my nephew's life as far as I know. Yeah, I guess he's better. Didn't you at one point want me to set up with your sister? Did I? I don't know, baby. I thought so. I doubt I'd do that to you. Yeah, it must be when you still had our URL. Oh, maybe.

Tell him to you, baby. Tell them to you, baby.