Tell Em Steve-Dave - #422: A Scarecrow’s Story

Episode Date: October 10, 2019

Depressed moods, insomnia, getting old, and embracing ones glaring shortcomings. It’s a tesd party!

You know, Galaxy far far away. Everybody gives a fuck and a crack down to your ass. Yeah motherfucker, that's right asshole. I'm gonna fuck your kick your ass, motherfucker! We're gay! Yeah! Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve Dave. It feels like it's been ages, boys, has it been ages?

Wow. It's been a couple of weeks. I don't like it. No. I start to get like Nicholson in the shining, Mary Beth and Sage outside. I'm just like staring, drooling and shit. Oh, I can't take it. Well, hello.

Yeah, well, you're here. You're both Kiss Experts in my book, so I gotta ask you. What's with Kiss performing a concert for an audience of great white sharks? What? What's going on? I haven't heard this. I heard this. Oh, come on you guys.

Well, this is like the cast box right here. It really is. It's what reminded me of kiss will perform an underwater concert for an audience of great white sharks. Now when I first heard it, I thought they were like, oh, they're gonna do a benefit because great white sharks are in danger or something. But now, they're gonna perform in front of the audience. I don't think they're

going to go underwater though. Yeah, because I guess I how can you perform underwater though? It's going to be a private like a scuba tanks like to believe, but then you will still be able to sing though. You can't sing. You can't play your instruments. Some of the vibrations of the music. You're in rage. They're going to understand like wouldn't it hurt the show? I would love to just play forever. Calm them down.

I remember I hear that song. That was a song I came out. That was my wedding song. Wait, what? There was a song, kiss played called Forever. It was kind of like a real mellow song or bath. Maybe they'll play baths. So the sharks don't go into a few of friends.

You went in, you're wedding song was a kiss song. It was the first time you mentioned it. Yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. That's right. That's right right asshole. He was like yo You know who's wearing the pants right? This is the song The guy that you fucking left out on the curb I remember he suggested to his wife. She's like, I think he's like, don't think.

Just look beautiful, all right? That's your job. My job is to pick the rock songs. She's like, all right. Now I regret my choice more than ever. But yeah, maybe if they choose to only play like real mellow stuff, they won't send the sharks into like a feeding friend. They'll get them all horny.

Like maybe we'll get them in the mood for love in the sharks. I wonder how sharks make love is it violent? I think everything's, I think they're the most metal fish of all right? Doesn't everything they do is violent? Let's look it up here, shark mating, right? I'm sure it's something lame, like fucking chelais and agon, he blows a shark load all over it on a reef.

I also, it sounds pretty good to me. I also think like, I've been looking at Sure, I said lame Because he's not even there's no way to course there's no penetration It's just like massive. It's like guys do that constantly every day I'm like twice I have to raise his results just do it on a fucking egg from fun to shop right See what happens in nine months

I'm blown and of my pocket. This is my son. No, it's one of the chickens that's now dead enough. Okay, so here's some sharks. It looks like they're sort of like- Oh, they spin around. They bite each other. They're their bellies.

Oh, wow, look at that. Do you do that? Do you ever present your belly? To My back and say get on. Yeah, I if it all possible I keep the belly at a site, you know, It's tough. Looks like the silhouette of a pregnant woman. I got to start losing weight because I'm on my stage where I'm not even taking my shirt over the shower. I'm just so open underneath it.

I'm just fucking showering a little wetsuit on. Yeah, I'm so proud of it. It seems like these sharks bite each other a lot. Well, that's all right. You know. We all been there, Shark. Yeah, I guess sometimes you have to leave some teeth marks. We're way or some.

Yeah, why not? So yeah, I guess it's a select number of audience members for this concert that will be underwater I guess in a shark tank. Is that a shark cage? No, it's in Australia. Wow. It's arranged into partnership with Airbnb Animal Experience, which reverses the tradition Mark Tank, they're like Shark Cage. No, it's in Australia. Wow. It's arranged in a partnership with Airbnb Animal Experience,

which reverses the tradition of having animals performed from the entertainment of human beings, and it's that promotes making ethical and empathic connections with a wildlife, like playing music for them. I wouldn't think they'd like it. Like you said, kid. Why the fuck at 70 years old, this gene simmin's getting on a 22 hour flight

to play to a bunch of sharks. Because that's him. I was thinking about that myself. And a lot of times people would be like, oh, if I was like a rock star, as soon as you get rich, I quit and just live life. But that's why there are probably rock stars a lot of them, is because they don't want to do like they want like he has to keep going. Yeah, I ask you go because of his fucking lifestyle. Probably, but don't you think he is so much money that if he stopped now, he would just would be able to pay whatever, I mean, like you said, he's 70, right? No, I bet you they live fucking high in a hog, man.

You think it's never going to stop coming in that money when you're on that level. So sure. You think it's never gonna stop coming in that money when you're on that level. So you probably spend like it's like you spend like it's gonna come keep coming forever. That could be true. Like if you're 70. It has been coming in for a while. Although they face some lean times too though. Yeah. Yeah, they had some hard times like where they weren't selling a lot of records and nobody was going to see them So it's it hasn't been a better roses

But that's why Gina. I guess it's such a business-minded merchandise or it sure I think that's hard to brand though to be honest with you. I think that's really Kind of turned off a lot of the fan base I know there's some fan base that'll that are zombies and they got to buy everything. But for me, it just felt like it was so gross at a certain point when you're just putting just slapping that logo on everything. Right. He's not talking about you, Q. I don't know why you keep looking at it. Sorry, that's distracted by the J&B T-shirt. I was looking at it. I got that. Is that a J.M. Tom Bob game of thrones crossover that I'm looking at? The J.M. Bob, like, oranges, the new black.

They're in there with those guys. I mean, you know what? You're right, because it's pretty hypocritical of me to bash a kiss for doing what we're going to just announce right now. All the old TSD t-shirts are back at Stockbrough. That's good to hear. If I had to hear it one more time from Mary Bess, it's like, people like thoseSD t-shirts are back at stock, Brian. That's good to hear. If I had to hear it one more time from Mary Bess, it's like people like those old t-shirts.

And you don't have those old t-shirts. I'm like, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? They're back at stock, Brian. All the old designs that we retired and said we would never print again. Right. One last time they're going to be available.

Why would I? One last time. The noise got too loud. Even I had to like take notice of all the crying in the morning that I saw. So I was like, all right, that's a rarity. All right, they're back in stock. Why do people like us again?

Yeah, I think we're back. We were gone. I thought we were gone for like a year and a half. I think it's like a rollercoaster. I think there's dips and valleys, peaks and valleys. Yeah, and I think right now we're on a valley right now. No, we're heading up a peak. Yeah, we're heading up a peak.

So we have a peak. Yeah, I'm sorry, the valley is bad, right? Yeah, valley is in the rear view. Yeah, we're in a peak right now. Oh, that's fucking pretty good. Yeah, so enjoy it while it lasts. It could end at any moment. Just like one bad comment.

All right, it's right back to the shirt. I will say this man. Nobody is better to meet on the streets. Then ants answer always in person the best just the best. Just I love talking to him. I feel like we have inside jokes. They'll say something from the show and yeah, it's just it's if they're well versed. It's fun. Yeah, it really is fun. Yeah, because that's like it's not a language of its own, but maybe a dialect. Yeah, I'm yeah. And not only are the old shirts available, cute again, like all the old classics, the three heads, the the etchum heads, the cartoon heads, four color demons, all the old ones. Yeah, when we remember we retired all the old designs. Oh, I wouldn't have worked. Like old coke.

And then we brought the new coke and now old coke's coming back and now it's going to be, it's a, it's a little strategy. Marketing, man, look at this guy wearing glasses. And he knows what he's doing. Launching a new shirt along with this, with with the with the return of the old shirts um in the 70s there was uh there was a kiss right? I guess But do you remember in the 70 I don't know if Brian you remember this but I don't even know if you remember

Do you remember a character called Howard the Duck? Of course, yeah. What do you in 1976 he ran for president? That I don't remember. I was born in 1976. I only remember it because when we were doing it on Comic Book Men, I was reading about how are the duck and I read. So you recall that. Yeah. That's a real thing. So in 1976, I'm nine. And I see in the letters column of how are the duck that they're

training it. And the letters kind of like he's really running for president. And a couple of weeks later, I see on on the news they do a story about a comic book character is running for president So on my head I'm like well, what the fuck happens if you will? Don't say fuck, but what happens if he wins? It was like it was kind of like cool because I was in the comics. I was also like well, what will they do if this? I mean, I wasn't that out of it. I knew it was a fictional if this, I mean, I wasn't that out of it. I knew it was a fictional character,

but... President Duck, respect them. But how are the duck ran for president? And his slogan was, get down America. And I remember they were selling bumper stickers and buttons that you could write in. Not they were even selling, if you wrote in or something you can get one, if you can, you know,

POD, remember that? Is this headed to get him for president? Actually, it's better. He could never win, but the barren could win. Oh! I wanted to run, I want the barren to run for president in 2020. And I have, we put up a shirt, some bumper stickers on a button.

Oh, it's fun. I like that. The irony of how are the duck running in 76, like the anniversary of our country's birth is like, he's still one of how to better chance than Barack Obama in 76 like the anniversary of our country's birth is like he's still would have had a better chance than Barack Obama in 76 I think. Watch it we're on a peak right now. Yeah I'm just saying how far we've come.

We're also woke now. But yeah so now the old the old designs are back and there's a new design and some and like you know, something cheap bumper stickers and a pen is also available. Very cool. It was also cute. You're going to find this interesting, a $500 Patreon level. No.

Yes, we're going to do that. We're doing it. We're going to podcast to 10 straight cats and a select number of fans up behind the stash. That's what we could sell tickets, not podcast to tons of street cuts. Yeah, and the other way behind the stash. Yeah, why not? Right by the dumpster.

Yeah, so. So what a merch table if you're interested in that. Good. They're available now by the time this drops. Mm-hmm. All right, we're done judging kiss. Wow. I mean, come on, at least we didn't do a coffin yet.

That's now, now you got me thinking that I had never really wanted to be buried. But if I were a custom tell him Steve Dave coffin, like how they do paint jobs on choppers and shit, that's the way to go, right? I mean, that's how I, well, I don't we were putting your body in the stash, but it looks like you got healthy now. So it looks like you're not going to die like we all. We all hope that I was going to buy a boat. We're going to put a body in the stash.

I'm going to fuck our loss 200 pounds. Well, if you really, if you want to get like ugly with merchandising, you can do cute condoms. Oh, like his cues face at the head. Like, because kids did, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. if you want to get like ugly with merchandising, you can do Q-Condoms. Oh, like his Q's face at the head. Like, and he got like a say. Yeah, but I never wear condoms. And like the reservoir tip is like, I don't know that, we can edit that out right now.

And you say you always use condoms, you're always safe and responsible. Yeah, you're right. You probably do want to disseminate. You might have a few that are like 10 and 12 by now. Let's get the test. But yeah, you could I could look into getting cue condoms. Yeah.

You want that? Not really. No. What about, um, I suggested it to Walton. I mean, let's do it. I'm it to Walton. Let's do it. I don't know. Sell it. Well, I mean it'll depend on what if they're defective and then we get sued.

I think we should be to stay away from what you showed us from more. We just say four entertainment purposes only. Boom. Cover your ass. Cover your ass. And your dick would a cute con the boom. There like so we cover art. No, you guys are covering your asses for like whatever The point is we're not in trouble. Yeah, if you have a kid or get aids or whatever it's not art fault

That's what I'm saying I look into a queue a lot look into pricing in the cute condoms maybe for tier though, right? Not not for that was Ellen like was Ellen on merch table. Yeah, merch table is. Hey, true TV to all on my face. Is there a big, oh they passed on owning your face? Yeah. Or they don't own your face. They don't own me.

Oh, okay. That'd be a conflict with IJ if you were to be like all of a sudden you're like, dude. No. Are you really selling your face on a condom? Look what I found in the driveway outside my house, a cue condom, news. My kid almost ate it. Clearly, my little stuff's reading.

Would they be upset? Would that be really, that'd be if he kind of merchandising to have your name on, no, that's like, but you come out from a place of safety, you know, and in its positive, and inclusiveness. Yeah, you're good. Yeah. So any kind of sex is okay. If you long, you know, listen to me, I want my gay peeps to be safe. So put me

on your dick before you fuck your boyfriend. Yeah, let me get on this ride. Let's go for a ride. Let me be there spiritually. Yeah. I'm into it. Alright, now look into it. Let a cheap Chinese Trojan knock off be there with you. Looking like face on it. I got to be magnum. Really? I got to saw them in all sizes. You can't just like Wow, really? We got a solid on all sizes. You can't just like, like, alienate. Dude, I got a fucking, I got an image to vote. Dude, man, I can't be using, do they really sell them in sizes?

I do that. Well, they have like, maged them. I think that's like the large slash black guys size. They don't feel any bigger than regular ones. I think that's, you think it's a marketing thing to make guys feel better? Yeah, I did, because I tried it on and it was pretty tight. And I was like, I think I'm just being thing to make guys feel better because I tried it on and it was pretty tight

I think I'm just being made to feel good right now. Oh my god double magnum's cues Condoms only coming double magnum This cute transgender Either way, it's funny, I don't care. Triple Magnum. Yeah. I like it. I think it's a money maker.

I mean, to it. If you have, let's say you have a special lady at home, Q, let's say you got a girlfriend and you're married or whatever, you say you don't use condoms, you got a girlfriend you're married or whatever you say you don't use condoms you come home and you're tired They have impractically joking you pull the sheets back and between them. You see a cute condom spent So in this fictional world I come home and this woman were men Men, I mean I just a man. He's like, you know, it's a woman or I'm like sucking anybody's

cock who fucking comes over. You're saying I'm coming home to a woman, like I live with a woman. Right. Well judging on every single thing I know about you for the past 25 years. I mean, we're on a peak. He knows where to get to that. Yeah, man. I hope somebody calls them on it. They're like, so listen to Tom Steve Dave and all that cocksuckin' talk, he's like, you aren't just bullshit and worry, huh? Yeah, he doesn't have to be once a week, yeah. And all right, so this is my own column of my own face on it. Between the sheets of your cast per mattress, I forgot to add that part.

And this Bluetooth wrap or something. I mean, I got to imagine if I'm getting cheated on them upset, no? But is it especially hurtful that they're like, Ha-ha-ha! Like you said, It is like a little bit of fucking stick in the eye. Right? Because you were there.

They had to think of me while they were putting it on. That's all they thought about. Could you imagine if he found out? Oh. Oh. Graphic designers, and you're really listening out there, shoot me some logo of Q's, what's it called? Q's condoms?

Q condoms. Q condoms. Q condoms, yeah, that's the logo you need. All right. All right. All right. But anyway, for Casper for real, there's sleep random makes expertly designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. How else would you do it, Casper? Other products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves,

regardless of how curvy you are. Be proud of them. Sleep on a Casper mattress. You spend one-third of your life sleeping so you should be comfortable. The original Casper mattress combines multiple supportive memory foams for a quality sleep surface with the right amounts of both sink and bounce. They offer three other mattresses, the wave, the essential in the hybrid. It's affordable because Casper cuts out the middle man. And sells directly to you. Haselfree returns are not completely satisfied delivered right to your door and a small how the fuck did they do that size box free shipping and returns in the US and Canada? You can be sure of your purchase with casper is one hundred and a risk of sleep out of trial But bye try not to derail you right tell. They keep going and going and going. I know, I'll just keep going.

Although Walt, we're, well, I don't think we're contract, I can't, I don't know if we're contracted to include a personal experience, but we say it all the time. I got multiple mattresses and they're all caspers. There's no other mattress alone in that house. Nope.

You and for free, and that says a lot. They offer a wide array of other products like pillows and sheets to ensure an overall better sleep experience. So this is only applicable to select mattress purchases and terms and condition apply as we know. Get $100 towards select mattresses by visiting catheter.com,

and flash DESD and using TESD at checkout. Terms and conditions apply, Casper.com TSD and use TSD at checkout and goddamn it, terms and conditions apply. All right, mattresses, if you wanna mattress, go to Casper.com. Well, I know you like the 50s. You romanticize. Romanticize the 50s.

I think a lot of people do. The 50s. I think pop culture has romanticized the 50s. I don't know of people do the 50s. I think pop culture has romanticized the 50s I don't know if it was as cool as it really was but you know I would I Would be interested to talk to someone who grew up in that time of like cold war nuclear drills and all that shit and Well, your parents were children teens in the 50s, right? Mm-hmm. Is that what an idealized environment turns out? Those two fucking maniacs? Ha-ha-ha-ha.

I feel like they didn't live in Mayberry. Ha-ha-ha. Unless it was like tells from the dark side of Mayberry. Uh, oh, okay, so say your wife wanted to do this while she's like, I'm gonna quit my job while, and I going to spoil you like a 1950s housewife. Now this was new somehow in the New York Post a couple of weeks ago. After three years of happy marriage and getting stressed out by your job in a busy payroll department, she decided to turn back time and live like a 50s housewife. How does she do that? I mean she dresses the part which is pretty cool. Do you like the 50 styles? A little more modest.

I don't mind the 50s styles. I thought the the attire was was Nito. She's playing a vinyl Doris Day soundtrack in the background. I know you like that. I like that. That door is right there looking down on us Q on that pillar right there. Oh yeah. There she is. That I'd not too long ago, right? Like fairly recently? Rarely recently. I guess she also issues any modern appliances. So she does dishes, laundry and ironing. And she loves taking care of her husband. Now that is not viewed as a positive anymore, right? Like if a woman wants to stay home and take care of her husband, take care of the kids, she's kind of a piece of

shit trader. I don't think so. Is that the way it is? I think the idea is like you're, you're free to make the choice not to do that is the important thing, not that that doesn't exist. Mm-hmm. Those about choices. I mean, that's what I would, that's, I mean, realistic though, if I think that a lot of people can make that choice though I think there's so many people need

Two incomes to make it in this fucking snake pit. You fucking foreign comes man I'm looking at housing prices around us, dude. It's insane. Yeah, though. It's it's tough out there You can't it's it's the very few and lucky that can be like you know what? I'm gonna go live 50 style Mm-hmm. Do you want to know what she does during the day? She gets up at 6.30, she wakes up, lays out her husband's clothes before preparing his breakfast and packing his lunch. After feeding herself, she does 15 minutes of gentler exercises. I guess so she can keep fit for him. She is a little vintage slamboard. She to keep her shape so she can fit to all her 50s dresses.

It's weird, she's so nostalgic about a time she didn't live in. She all her recipes are like from the 50s. After dinner, they play board games. I mean, it sounds like the ultimate hipster move, right? To do something like that. It sounds pretty nice. Right?

Yeah. Do you play board games? What, I was thinking about you yesterday, move, right? It does. Something like that. It sounds pretty nice. Right? Yeah. Do you play board games? What do I was thinking about you yesterday? I was like, I wonder what Walt does every night. Because you don't like... Every night? Oh, I don't play board games.

No, I didn't think that. I think it was a break-in-out for holidays. You know. I didn't think that, but I was like, I know, like, you don't go out a lot, right? Any more? I do. You wouldn't, you would... I'd be surprised at how much't go out a lot, right? Any more? I do. You wouldn't, you would. I'd be surprised at how much you go out. Yeah, but I went and I went and saw a concert recently,

a couple last week. What'd you go see? I went and saw George Theragod and the destroyers. Yeah, the Basin. With whom? My wife. You both wanted to see George Theragod. Yeah.

Wow. But she didn't want to go, but I want to go. You want to go see? What's, aside from bad to the bone? Bad to the bone is the one I remember. What's the other one? Night time. Who do you love?

I mean, a guy played for an hour and only one song I didn't recognize. Oh, yeah, I mean, he has a lot of hits. He's got a lot of hits under his belt. I think though, like guys like that, I feel prejudiced against because of songs like Bad to to the bone where you heard it so many fucking times That you're like I can't stand him He I mean he's up there too when he's singing and he's playing and he's rocking and rolling and it's gonna take a lot out of you at that age

Right, he's got to be in the 70s. I don't take a look at all, you know, I mean he's doing touring at this point I know the stones are doing you going to see the stones cute Probably not this time. I saw him a couple years back. It's gonna be the last time No, they were great. Yeah, Mick had to get that heart surgery I know this is something about that's a scary you that then we might not we might have the living a world without Mick Once I lost Tom petty almost everything else is like acceptable Bring cue your dad died on American girl

Dad Not good trying to listen to Tom petty shit all night All right, I just touch you on it to know Go away, mom. Mike and Dolan, sis. George Thurough Good, the best age 69, baby. Oh, he's not 70 yet. No, he's almost there now.

That's a good more than he really was. February 24th. It's hard. I got to add about 10th row seats. Oh, yeah? Yeah. There was no 10th row seats. Oh, yeah, yeah There was no one passed row Hey George what happened nobody came to your concert

There's plenty people there I'm going to see a retro show tomorrow. A little not a concert. Andrew Dice Clay. He's going to be at the base. You think he'll still pull out all those jokes that definitely can't work today? I'm thinking probably not. I don't think it does it anymore.

As well, he shouldn't because I was telling Mary Beth about him and we were coming back from somewhere and I was like, let me put on some old dice stuff. Right. And I really thought back, like I remember dying laughing at Eddie Murphy and like all old dice stuff. And I really thought back like I remember dying laughing at Eddie Murphy and like all his gay stuff. Like I remember thinking it was funny, but that like dice I'm like the nursery rhymes and shit. I can't remember laughing at it. And hearing it back I'm like, oh my God, what a nation of retards. They're all repeating the like the nursery rhyme,

like the entire like gardener whoever, you know, whatever concert he was in. And also you think I don't go out, I went to just last week and went to So Stephen Wright at the base of you, my wife. Oh, how is he? Awesome. He's good.

That is a dude that's gotta be like, it's gotta be insane to write a set because his joke's only last, what last what five seconds so he needs a joke He must need a thousand jokes to get through a hour and a half a plane. Yeah, but he's got to be so in the zone by now That he just like can look at a pair and be like I got a joke about a pair I mean, but these jokes are not for the the the Seriably challenged if you're not paying attention and you're like his jokes make you think. Yeah, he's a funny guy. Yeah, he's very impressive. I would like to know if he wrote all those jokes or he has every as a team of writers because some of them are like absolutely like like wow,

I mean, that is so intelligent. He probably has. Why Stephen Wright such a cheap douchebag? Hey, I didn't write this. I guarantee he has of writers. He must. You get to those levels. Like even, like unless you're like shepeller, like one of those guys, you know, I guess they write all their own stuff. Like Chris Rock has writers. Like I think a lot of them do. And so like you've been in the biz at long, how do you think of one more deadpan joke? I don't know. It's crazy. So many of them know. And then he, um, he, he plays music to the memory he has to have to tell the jokes to. It's just crazy. I

don't know how you could do. Yeah, he is not like us. It doesn't just come here and fucking shoot from the lip. Mm-hmm. That guy knows what he's doing. Shoot him from the, from the lip and lip is it harder? Obviously not. I think it's different levels of quality, no? Yeah. Like there's a different sort of crafted joke and improv. Well, or the ability to have a conversation and then have people anticipate listening to your conversation.

That's a different kind of skill level, right? Because what we're doing, what's what we've done for 10 years? Or arrogance. Just thinking I think it's, I think it's probably balanced. It's probably both. I don't think it's arrogance anymore when you, when you said everybody doing it this long and you know, feel bad for the people who never know what just happened. I feel bad for the people who never know what just happened. I mean, there is actually, it's, it's, it's, it's, the other proof is in the put it.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, I'm not upset. I can't believe we're doing this 10 years. What is that happen? What is that date? The 10 year mark is the next year? It's next year. It would be, it's like February 20 something.

Oh my god, that's crazy. Yeah. That's nuts. We're gonna be dead soon. Yeah, you know, we're just gonna die, man. Like if everything flies by and that fucking fast. I think about that quite often because you see like, you know, Ginger Baker died and this one died and that one died and like he was in cream.

Oh, I'm sure. Drummer, yeah. Respect and musician, but you see like all your. Not necessarily heroes, but heroes for the sake of you. Sure. Dying off. But there are 20 years older than you. Yeah, that's what I mean though. But like the guys like say Jimmy Page who like you know like for like I idolize Jimmy Page

when I was in sixth grade. Right. And eventually he'll probably die. I mean hopefully he'll die in my lifetime. Sorry Jimmy Page. I know you got to deal with the devil and all that shit but. So you're just going to see him drop off and you're gonna get closer and closer. Like it's gonna be like sometimes I see old people and I'm like when you look in the mirror, do you see a shred of who you were before you were so difficult for the general population to look at you?

You know, like, you're not shriveled up like you look like like a the Vincent Price Drunken like an apple thing. Yeah, like so and I'm like eventually. I'm gonna look like that Dude I remember seeing pictures of Paul Newman just before he died and be like it can't be It looks like a race I felt so depressed I felt so depressed. He was the sexiest man alive at one point. For like many years, like he was the standard, the gold standard of sexy from males. And then at the end, then I learned today,

guess how old Snoop Dogg is? Oh, he's old. He's got to be pretty too, something like that. Okay, how old do you think he is? I think he's got to be 66. He's 48 years old. He's saying, I'm not sure if he's going to be able something like that. Okay. How old do you think he is? I Think he's got to be 66. Yep. He's 48 years old

Are you sure I'm telling you Snoop Dogg is 48 years old? Let me I'll double check this well. It is same with like M&M He's well into his 40s and you like you remember when he was a kid. Yeah, but Snoop Dogg I always thought was way older than me. He's born in 71 47 Yeah, but Snoop Dogg I always thought was way older than me. He was born in 71. He's 47. He turns 48 in October 20th. But why do I think of Snoop Dogg as like a grandfather is like an old man? Because he has probably has grandkids. But his grandkids probably have grandkids.

He's have kids when he was like, when he was nine. I guess I just always thought he was like a grandfathered in old old school guy, but he's really not yeah I don't know what's going on anymore, dude Father time. Oh, you still came out in 93 Which like when you're like on 93 and it doesn't sound that long ago until you're like oh wait a second That's 25 years ago Yeah, I graduated I graduated high school in 94. I can't believe it anymore, man.

Do you think if you went back to 20-year-old cure graduating and you know, like here's where you'll be? You're happy with the high-matchin'. I think so. I think overall, he'd be like wow That that seems pretty cool and I'd be like yeah most of it is Yeah, I mean not so much the part where I have to pretend I might share my bed with a man Just so people don't get mad at me But you know

No, he told that he's like No, fuck away I'm gonna fuck your kick your ass No, he told that he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like We will push the hounds. Now look. It's been raised. Roll it on the stage. I don't know when men at that old guy was given a speech or a lecture about, you know, embracing diversity. Then a guy who look kind of just like a mix of skinnier and younger. Yeah, it might have been his son attack them.

A lot of accusations being slow. How do you calm down 20 year old Q? I would send them down. I'd be like, listen, listen. Give him a blow job. There you go. There you go. There you go.

Relax. That's just masturbation. That's true. Good to go. I do that. No, I do that. You can still make the funny jokes. You just have to tweak them a bit so they're about yourself.

You do that. Caching. Come here. yourself. You do that. Can change. Come here, take a look at future, Brian, who doesn't do that. Look at him. You want that life? Explain it to me again. Yeah, Joe, so I have a straight. I said straight. All right.

I know you hate it. Same jokes. Just make them about yourself. You don't have to rewrite anything! Well, surely I can still say, BEE! No, that got phased out! That got phased out no six bro! You got another good ten years! I always wanna whiver that word!

Fuck that shit man. You should be banished from Staten Island dad. I hope they ride you out on a rail. Yeah, it's weird then you think of the people around you people that are old. Like I don't have any grandparents anymore, but events and uncles. Yeah. Parents of course. Yeah, I miss my grandparents. That's the one. That's the one big loss in life that I that I that I wish I can get back. I know the Tom Petty. Yeah. Yeah. We'll say it a lot. It would be nice to see them one more time. They didn't get a chance to see you as this celebrity. They didn't saychez, you're success now. No, they all died. And when I was in late teens, it's okay. So not even at a high school, huh?

My father's parents died when I was in high school. My mother's parents died when I was in my mid 20s. And there was nothing to be impressed about in my mid 20s. There's a very real possibility that those four angels are responsible for everything that you've accomplished right now. Where the fuck are my angels? Why's QF all the angels? I wish, I feel bad for all of you that you didn't just see what happened again.

That's true, you're right. You're out of hashtag blessed. Who the fuck am I kidding? Yeah, I see you every fucking like 15 days. And then you're like, where am I, angels? Yeah, what? You got any angels for me? Oh my god. I know.

Trust me, I sit at home and I'm like, how can I feel this way? I must be out of my mind. I still feel shitty It was so bad this past week. Why did you call me dude? I don't like I don't like Take give the call be like I'm so sad I know but it is What brought it on I don't know I don't, but it's like I feel bad for Marybeth I actually feel bad for because the

the like the switches in like the moods and The reaction to something like I look back at some shit, and I'm like what the fuck? Why would I be mad at that? We're like why would I allow that to get me into a state? And so I went on like, I'm like, I need a mood stabilizer because that's what used to happen before and then once I got on, it was better. Can you get those over to counter? No, no way.

You have to like go to a shrink, not even a psychologist, but a regular psychiatrist and I went on to my insurance, not even a psychologist, but a regular psychiatrist and I went on to my insurance, my health insurance and it's not cheap. It's like 500 a month, a little bit more to pay for the insurance. Just for the insurance, yeah, so I go on and I look at the shrink stuff and it's like, there's three main places that are practices, but those are hospitals and usually what they are are like the Like the social services places and I called and they're like, yeah, we don't have any doctors And I'm like there's like 50 or 60 doctors listed on this

I was like you don't have any and she's like well though the good ones are booked out for the next eight to ten months the other ones ones, she's like, I wouldn't go to them. Wow. Yeah, but I'm just asking for medication. That's what I thought, but I don't know. I mean, I mean, maybe she's like, you're wasting your time with them because they're not incompetent or they're that greener. You can't do it over the internet, like, do like a video chat, like, a bluetooth. No, I don't think so. Yeah, I'm like, hey, dog. I'm like a blue chew and now I don't think so. Yeah, I'm like, hey, dog. I just did it in a dog cage in the background.

Very about appears to be unconscious, at least he hopes. So then I called a couple other, I called three other people, nobody called back. And the fourth person was like, that said they were taking new patients, doesn't take new patients. So I'm like, I guess I just pay out a pocket then. Despite having insurance, you're like, fuck it, I'll still pay out a pocket. That's like a hundred and twenty five bucks visit. No, at

least in LA when I used to go, it was a one seventy five, one seventy five an hour, but that the dude was good, you know, it was real good. Before I got the insurance that I had that I have now, which is only the past seven months or so, I, because I've been on well-beautiful for the fucking decade now, and I have to go once a month. I go there, I sit there. It's a same thing, it's, yeah, that's impressive.

Yeah, it's like an anti-depressant anti-exit. It's a lot of people, a lot of people swear by it. Yeah, I've taken every day for 10 years. And I go and I,, okay, sit down. I like the guy, but I like, I sit down. He goes, how's every, I'm in and out of the office in five minutes. And he, and it was a hundred and twenty five bucks every month. And then this new insurance boss to that down to 20 bucks a month.

But I'm like, why do I got to come here and just feel like and just, do you want to get out here? You want more? Do you want to talk to them about? I don't want to talk to my name. No, you talk to your other your lady. Yeah, I haven't been able to go to her in quite a while just because of my schedule but if you wanted to that to you talk to this is just this is just a medicine man. Yeah, and I'm like, god damn like and I, like, I'm fortunate enough that I could afford the 125 a month, but I was like, fuck man, this is robbery. Because then you've got to pay for the medication too. And if you don't have a chance for that, forget it.

Yeah. It's fucking crazy. What's happening? Nothing. Someday I'll, like, someday I'll have Mary Beth come in and she can tell you stories about like, out like some day I'll have Mary Beth come in and she can tell you stories about like the like it times it's like a disassociation like a detachment from reality like I'll make up something to my head and it becomes true and then I'm all upset about it and it's not true at all you know it sounds weird what I say yeah it sounds like yeah you need to keep working again in a doctor

yeah and let's give it up sage appears on edge at times and that was like never a thing Sounds like yeah, you need to keep working again and a doctor. Yeah Sage appears on edge at times and that was like never a thing Yeah, and I can hardly ever sleep I sleep like three hours a night It sucks, but I don't know what's going on like I don't know a tron like I don't know why suddenly it's like within the past week and I have it feels this way, you know. Huh. That's not good, dude. I had a good day today. I'm going to tell you about it later on. A good day today. In fact, I showed up late in the reason was because like lately when I work, when writing

vulgar two and like I'll just put my phone to the side and I'll just listen to my iPad instead so I don't like it distracted. So I worked a lot on that recently and that makes me feel better. It was working on anything. I'm accomplishing anything as I was like a key. That my bedroom door, I'm going to post a picture eventually that like it was my punching door for a while until I punch through it And then like there's a giant hole in it. So it's like all right, I'm gonna go get another door And so I go to the lows and I get the other door and I bring it back and it's too long But I knew that so I'm gonna cut it with a saw and

Just get a cut there by professionals. I didn't think of that I thought about that later instead like an asset This is what I mean like I don't have a firm grip on. I didn't think of that. I thought about that later. Instead, this is what I mean. I don't have a firm grip on what I should be doing sometimes. And I went and I bought a circular saw instead of just asking them to cut it. Because I'm like, well, I don't want to use a hand saw at home saw.

Circular saw. Doesn't she say, well, we just let the people have to say that. By myself at this time. She is not what the fuck to say. Because the second part of the story is I go, I get the second door, I bring it back, and I'm cutting it, and I don't know what happens, but like a big chip comes out of the door.

So then I take a fucking hammer to it and smash it and throw it into the fucking yard, and now she comes home now. There's two doors in the yard, and I'm going to order a third door, and she's like, please, please just have Ernie hang it for you And I was like, I'll do that and it made me think you're like, you're like, why do you keep trying and I'm like, I don't know I don't know why I can't try. I think that's like, yeah, it's just setting yourself up It's not like you or you have like skills with like it's like going to the Olympics and then being like I want to be a ski I was like us. We're not we're not handy and I And I know, I mean, I don't beat myself up.

We're not being handy. I'm like, fuck it. I mean, I can't, I can't be good at everything. Yeah, I can't be, I can't, I can't, I can't be good. You're good at most, you know what I mean? I can't be like, I can't be expected to do all the, like, demandly traits, like, every single manly trait. Can't all. You don't feel like, I guess your wife is, like demandly traits, like every single manly trait. Can you more?

You don't feel like, I guess your wife is, and you're so unapologetic about it too, there's no way you could feel bad that I don't want. In front of your wife, yeah, like, oh, I can't do this. I feel like I want to fix things and like, I'm just like, oh, it's not me. I don't want to do anything around the house anymore. I don't want to do anything.

I told my brothers, I just call for a fucking cleaning lady. You get the cleaning lady prices. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ. I'm like 175 a week or something. I'm like, this place is small. Man. That's crazy. Yeah. That's what it is. That's what it's. What's manly treats though? One of the most common. Fixing cars? Yes, okay, yeah, even knowing about cars. I mean, I'm over two then, like being handy. Me too. And being mechanically inclined or being into cars.

But like, you look at my brother, Darren, and he's very good, like mechanical shit. And he's a foreman at a job, like construction site. So he knows about that shit too. You just gotta be, I mean. But then everybody asked you to do shit as the other thing Hey, can you fix my car? Hey, can you help me out with this? I guess it's that it's coming to that place of just accepting that like Who you are like what you are and who you are and then embracing it

And if it's and it's not being handy, who cares? I mean, there's plenty of those people around that can do that for you. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I don't know, I get so angry at myself. Even though I know, I like, I know chances are more likely than not that this is exactly what's gonna happen.

I'm definitely gonna ruin it somehow. And I cut our fucking patio table because I was in pain and I cut right to the metal. I'm like fucking. I hate myself. My wife asked me to hang care or put scarecrow something around for Halloween. I was like, and I look at her and she's like, it's just put taking a hammer and hammering the weed, the weed. It's like on a weed. Right. A bamboo stick. And then the scarecrow like kind of clips onto the stick. It's like on a read. Right. Bamboo stick. And the scarecrow like kind of clips onto the stick. Just what you gotta do is hammer into the soft ground. I go guarantee

I'm just gonna split this read. I can't one of the girls do it. I can't tell you the number of things I'm like, Mary Beth, please do this before I fucking burn the house down. I don't like, I'm not like, more of angry or freaking out, I'm just like, so how much was this in Chico? And I go, because you know I'm gonna break it, I go, it's a real expensive, I said, because I don't wanna do it, because you know I'm gonna split the read, I said, it's first hit, I go, I know I'm gonna-

It's not a read, okay, stop calling it a read. Yeah. Where did you even get the word read? Who told you that? So I take it, I break it out to the yard, and immediately before I sit down, she goes, that's grounds not soft. I go, how do you know it's not soft?

Because it's a sidewalk walker! Give me the goddamn scarecrow! Scrooves! Girls! Can one of you hammer the scarecrow and without breaking the read I love it you're like I'm gonna fuck it up and then when you do it she's like you're fucking it up You're like what makes you say that? Yeah, I just go I go to plant it and so I go to the next spot

And I just look before I even put it down I go like I put it over like And so I go to the next spot and I just look before I even put it down I go like I put it over like I'm moving it up like and then I like so then I don't see it disapproving nod. So I'm like okay here I take off the scarecrow so I can start to hammer it and And if I had any experience with hammering in a read or whatever the All the bamboo stick I Probably shouldn't have used the head of the hammer. I should have used the the flat side like almost turned it like Like a larger striking space Or piece put a piece of wood over it and hit the wood there you go your hand EQ. I used

Common sense I should have texted you what I was doing this. I would have helped you with that So I did it with the way where you had to drive a nail in one hit fucking splitter So then I then we have another one so I'm like I know how to do it I said I know what I did wrong. I said I got to use this flip side of the hammer and You know I'm trial and error, but I figured it out. I drove that fucking scarecrow in. He's underground now. Yeah, the mother fucker ain't that much.

I'm very dumb. Well, it's like Ted Danson creeps you. It's like, if we have a nor Easter anything, it's not nor Easter proof. But normal weather, I think the mother fucker is there to stay. He's not going anywhere. I had a similar thing.

I was at Salis place the other day and he had on his back patio. He had one of those gas firebits and he's like just smells like gas. It's just it's leaking. So I went inside and when we used in the firehouse look for gas leaks, we used to put soap in a water in a spray bottle. Oh, yeah, and spray it on the pipe and then where the gas leaking out of blows above it. And so I was like, holy fuck, I haven't gotten to do this in 10 years. I got it. I put the thing, the dish soap in the spray bottle.

I put it on and saw the bubble, I fixed it. And I walked around feeling like, God, that's using a food. How did that, does Salah acknowledge that? Like using like, holy fuck, my friends, a man. You think we're not manly? Oh my God. Oh my God. Is that really the case? acknowledge that like you like my you think we're not manly oh my god oh my god is that really the case?

Sal has many skills hands on this one but does it beat himself up over it? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, accept your limitations and acknowledge your strengths. That's what I did. When I was sitting there, today I felt so much better about everything. Just sitting there and working and doing exactly what I wanted to do without getting up and fucking being like, oh, the fuck I gotta clean up the cat shit.

It's like, I feel like I'm constantly taking care of someone or something else, you know? And especially like it, she is soccer and she got this and she got that club and she got told me three so it's like I know but you got three on you're like oh well now I have to be subject to the whim of if she needs something she usually doesn't she's really pretty good but it's having to be there. Yeah. I mean I don't know how I don't know how I I don't know how, I mean, I guess it's hard for people, but if you

couldn't fucking get to that fucking zone of like knowing that and not fucking caring that you can't fucking hang a scarecrow, you can do A, B and C and being like, but I can do this. Yeah. And that's pretty good too. Do you remember when we tried to put a new roof on your house? I was just talking about that. That's so weird.

You should say that. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, boy. And we're like, we went and we picked up these Mexican guys from the train station. They were worse than us. They were worse than us. And we're judging them.

Meanwhile, we're like, oh, fuck, we were hoping. They knew what to do. Do you guys know how to roof? They said, yeah, see. Yeah. They said, the suns of bitches. So we thought great. And they were worse than we were

Yeah, what made what made you guys think you could put a roof on though if you've never done it before or had any experience doing it I think I don't know I had experience carrying shingles up a ladder on to the roof Do you think that's part of like why you guys are? Yes, I think it's I think it's arrogance the expectations of like I can do this, but no, I don't have that anymore. Nothing to base on. I can do anything. But if you look in the past, it's like based on what, bro.

I'm successfully raising a tomato plant and a fig tree right now. And I'm fine with that being my only accomplishments at the house. Like these are growing. They're not dying, the cats. If they die, are you going to go into like a fucking downward spiral? Are you going to be like, oh, well, I tried tomato plants, you go fuck themselves. The fig tree was my grandfather's fig tree that I paid to have

transplanted from his old house to my house. So it's on your property. It's not in the house. It's on my property. Right. OK. So I'm really like, OK, when you, so both of. It's not in the house. It's on my property. Right. So I'm really like...

Okay. So both of these things aren't in your house then, right? No, they're outside. So in other words, the sun in the rain or taking care of them? No, no, no, no, no, but there are things. You've got to prune them. You've got to wrap them for the winter. Oh, yeah?

I really been like, I'm like... You do that? I do that. You don't pay someone to do that. Not for the victory in the tomato plants. I don't really have anything else besides that. Rod Vegas't pay someone to do that. Not for the fig tree than tomato plants. No. I don't really have anything else besides. Rodriguez! My tree's unwrapped! I want to see them leave tonight.

Wrapping unwrapped daily for my pleasure. No, my fig tree was my grandfather's, so I want to take care of it. How out of it am I? I thought that these things were like little pot at plants in your house. That's what I thought too. I thought they were like little. But fig trees can grow big. Is this fig tree big right now? It's about four feet high, four five feet.

Yeah. That's only one season's growth because I just had a brother. I brought it over last fall. And it took some. I think a lot of men know, especially men are have what you go through though they get so mad about things that they can't do can't do can't control just like instead of just

Enhancing but like taking pride in what they can do Like the truth is I shouldn't be cutting a fucking door. No, we're doing this or that I should be sitting out of goddamn laptop and writing stuff down or making fun of somebody. Yeah, I mean, it's sad, but yeah, it's all I'm good at. Yeah, I mean, really, it's all good. It's like, you're lucky enough where you could make you could still make a living doing that. So like, yeah, why why set yourself up for failure? I know that might be, I might do you agree with that?

Or am I or should he be trying? I don't know, am I? While I don't. Trying to do hang doors, eh? I don't think you should try to hang doors without first attempting to learn how to hang doors. Do you think even if you looked in, yeah, I think if you took a class at home depot and shit like that,

like you'd be able to do it. I'd probably still fuck it up in the bill. I'm not gonna hang myself instead of the door Luckily you won't be able to build any kind of hang man. Yeah, like it snaps. I break my tailbone. I'm like Very best you still think of me as a man As if I ever did Yeah, like Edgar's real handy. Not super humorous.

Yeah, so like yeah, you have, you're all the Johnson's have different strengths and weaknesses, just like every other motherfucker on this planet. Yeah. Yeah. Every, no, but Tom Brady exception. Fuck that guy, man. Fuck that guy, man. But he is the fucking only one on the planet that you can point to.

That's like that. I know that Jacelle is would never be like what happened to the patio table? Q, I got good news for you. Oh yeah. We got some CBD oil. Oh nice. THC free wall. So you know that's good. Nobody's getting high off this shit. And Q, use it for your cat.

Now you cut this out, but is this craze the new copper? Like, right, everyone's like, I gotta put a copper sleeve on my legs. I'm gonna be fucking back to normal. I'm gonna be able to run 100 miles per hour. I've got this little bracelet and stuff. I'm not doing things. I'm gonna be useless.

Yeah, Magnus. I'm gonna get bitten by a copperhead. That should help you. No, this is real. This is not a placebo. No, this is not. This is science. Okay, CBD.

Science. Yeah, this is not. This is science. Okay. CBD science. Yeah. This is some scientific stuff. Uh, this is the leading site to buy CBD online. It's MDRN, CBD. They sell their old line of high quality, hemp derived CBD products. They offer other top selling CBD brands that use USA-grown hemp.

I guess that's important. It's like Zappos for CBD. So convenient. I can't believe I'm pushing CBD. No, this is fine. Is it okay? It does not. I looked into it at first I was like, is this snake oil? Like, is this, like, should we be going town to town selling this?

Well, I mean, this is not like pushing like, like, like, joints. There's no psycho- I wish. Yeah, like, all your one-stop shop for roaches. Who the fuck only buys roaches? No, they call it a roach, but who sells roaches? Like the burned end of a joint. I don't know what it's called. People just don't go around selling the roaches out of their car. I don't think so. Not anymore. Give me a dime of roaches, I suppose. Like, it's basically, can I have your ash tray?

Yeah. Okay. There's supposedly works for anxiety. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't sleep. Oh my god. Why don't you try some of this stuff? It says, I can't sleep.

That's why I tried MDR and say, I have Xanx, but I don't take it. I don't like, oh my god. Why'd you try some of this stuff then? It says I can't sleep, that's why I tried MDR and say, I have Xanx, but I don't take it. I don't like, I know people like it. It's just like, if I take Xanx in the next morning, I feel like sluggish and shit, and it's like, I don't want it. How do you feel on three, I have a sleep sluggish and shit. I'm on the other side. Yeah, you're right.

Well, you know what, I could try some of this because they did send it muscle pain, pet products. Yeah, it works. I had the arthritis. Yeah, I've taken some CB. Yeah, what's it called CBD? CBD. I've taken it works. I've rubbed it on I took drops took drops. Yeah, it I You've been parachuted it The cats all come around it and my I wait like I think I parents shoot it. But the cats, the cats are calmer on it. And I think I mentioned this floor. We have a 17 year old dog in my family. My dad's dog. And I thought you were talking about your unhot cousin?

Oh, no, no, no, no. We don't talk about this. You either put a dog? Yeah, we put it on the toilet, the vet was just to see what it does. Yeah. And we put it on dog treat. And you see he walks stiff because he's so old. Oh, your parents it on dog treat and like you see like he

Walks stiff because he's so old, but oh your parents dog. Yeah, that dog is awesome. Yeah But he when he's on the CBD. Oh he walks he'd lose her Vets your napascrib in this. Yeah, I have a prescription for my cats on the dog I have to rethink this, you know my dogs get to that age, you know, I can't be so like, you know, so close mind it to not Yeah, it's not like I never want to smoke and roach I remember like when I was in high school people like kids in school It's how many like they would put, you know, like drugs on their

Remember and do stuff to girls with it with it. Would you do that with CBD? What kind of drugs? I don't know coke maybe Hmm, the tip. Do you remember that? No, I mean, the girls who get, the girls liked it that way. They got all tingly. I don't know, that's how they got high too. I don't know.

I think somebody was telling you some tall tales. Yeah, maybe. I mean, they may have done it and then everybody lied. Is it most cocaine like cutting like baking towels? Yeah, like talc and yeah, it's like It is disgusting. That's one truck. I that's gonna have a boat great. Okay. It's coming back I got offered it fucking twice last week. Where in Los Angeles? So please I mean you found the gas leak

Have some of my cook for your troubles Yeah, I got I got off of the twice really so it's back, huh? For long I said Yeah, I got off it twice really so it's back Maybe like the for guys like me and you You know like an average guy. There's not we're not going to drug-fueled Hollywood parties and should I was at work. I was almost set It's crazy. Mm-hmm. I thought maybe you said Disney could you said you're at Disney recently. Yeah, I was at Disney and I went to Galaxy's Edge. Oh wait, let me finish this up. Let me give this this. This one, I thought this was a nice story. I would like this one, I would like to listen to here.

I thought this was... I don't like it. I thought it was just a sightseeing, and this day and age, this could still happen. Okay, wait to hear this. This is daily. Okay, we know how we are. We know the society. It's the lab.

MDRN CBD because the products on their site have passed strict quality control procedures with ingredients and product lab results listed. They have great transparency and MDRN CBD offers free shipping on all orders so you got a lot of that. It says them. Love free shipping, man. They love it. They love it.

They love it. They love it. The entisement of all entisements, right? Even if it's not free, like Mary Beth will spend more money to get free shipping. Right. You have to say it. It's like it is basically like the hypnotizing. Yeah. It's like the Coke of the new age.

Yeah. I mean, it is just like free shipping can make you buy anything. Yeah, like I'll put some Coke on the end of my dick and go and order stuff online if I'm getting free shipping. This offer is too good to pass up. Get 30% off your order. Plus free shipping. This offer is too good to pass up. Get 30% off your order plus free shipping. That's an amazing deal, but only when you use our code TSD. So if you want all your good CBD products go to mdrncbd.com. That's

mdrncbd.com and use our code TSD to get 30% off plus free shipping. So don't wait. I mean, you can wait a little. I imagine all of you, most of our listeners are probably suffering from their normal aches and pains of life. No, maybe maybe like a sore elbow, a sore name, maybe try it. What do you got to lose? Yeah, 30% off plus free shipping. Come on. MDRNCBD.com TSDd So what happened you went to Disney? You want to say galaxies at right? Galaxy's at the Star Wars thing.

Yeah, beautiful. Mm-hmm. A Merce of... Crowded? So fucking crowded. All the reports that you have heard are not true. There's a lot of people. It was packed, packed.

And the thing that's bringing Walt so much joy is that, you know, Galaxy far, far away, everybody gives a fuck and a packed out of your ass. Get the fuck out of your friend. Good. That's the bad deal. See that one I will line? Oh, Michael, they didn't care. They didn't recognize? Whether they recognize it is completely irrelevant. They were like, get the fuck to the back of the line, clown. I mean, that serves like a pirate's, pirates, pirates of the Caribbean. Hey, how many times you want to go?

In the out of Jones ride? Get right to fuck up there. Cue cop. Get some lights on. We all get up there. Star Wars? Dude. Nobody cares.

Nobody gave a fuck. Nobody gave a fuck. Is it because those other rides are so old, people are like, ah, who gives a shit? Yeah. Like what's one more guy, but Star Wars, they got boners over. I was the ones who were so fucking crazy that they were not giving it. I went on this single writer line for the Millennium Falcon, right? And that took almost 40 minutes.

Wow. It was crazy. It was crazy, but they were just like, I mean, they're so like the workers at Galsy's Edge. This is saying the bullshit about this park not being busy. These guys look like they've been a world will want to end Like a thousand yards there they got that thing with they're like what Like the second you ask him a question, right? It is not a very distinct experience

You know and then and the way that I get on rides is like first up to the soft sell About I'll just walk off into the room throw like handballing or about First I'll be like oh my god, cue I got the odds like 70% of the time that works yeah, and then And then the rest of the time I'll go up to them and I'll be like I'm sorry Is this the entrance of the exit and then use it the voice or the end the face combined? They'll be like oh my god like blah blah blah if that doesn't work I'll be like hey you got a got a third card in your pocket. Give me a thousand dollars.

I look at security and I'll get a name from a name tag. And I'll be like, hey, man, Ramon from security. Tell me to come up and said to, oh, you said that. Oh, yeah, I'll be like, I'll be like, because I'm online. You can tell us this. You can tell me this part earlier. Yeah, I love it. And they'll be like I'll be like because I'm online You can tell us this you don't tell me this part earlier

Yeah, I love it And they'll be like and they don't want they don't want to make a mistake of pissing anybody off that might actually be important right so they're like Oh, okay, all right, just just go around and gougsy edge Fucking remote in the Nothing exists. I tried everything man. I was like hey, man. So this is the line huh? I tried everything man. I was like, hey man. So this is the wine. I hope into that clinton recognition. I hope I don't run into Larry. Well, though you need sometimes though, just that, don't you?

Just that, like, hey man, I'm a regular guy. I feel like in his life without going into specifics, you were reminded of that frequently. Oh God, I'm a fucking dead. That's not that's not public though. Well, the problem is like, honestly, like, it's not the fucking weight. It is the weight, but it's not the weight. It's the it's the it's a gallon line you wait and then someone is like, oh my God, it is the wait, but it's not the wait. It's the it's the it's you get online, you wait, and then someone is like, oh my God, it's cute. And then before you know it, that entire it's an hour of pictures, it's an hour of pictures, and it's an hour of make a

video, it's an hour. So much so that I'm like, I just got to go because the five minute millennium, we're out Falcon, right, isn't worth an hour and a half of fucking meat and greets that I'm doing like, what I'm here with one other person by the way so so they're standing there not talking to me while they can they gonna push that away how could you hold the camera and take a picture of it you know what I mean like it's just a have you considered like remember the cop out premiere with Willis he had those security guards like you can't even talk to them then just like nut push people out of the way the way got a couple big security guards

Start beating the shit out of people. No, I'm not comfortable with that like I'm not comfortable with telling you What did you feel like such an asshole? I would feel like the worst But I still have to do it in my reality, which is like I don't want to stand in the hot fucking California sun ignoring my friends Talking of strangers for an hour like I just can't do it. So So I went on a single ride at. And I skipped the other ride entirely, because it was so long. So we'll super happy about that. There is. I got to agree.

Like I love that. Like you're different ways of getting to the front of the line. I love that. But there is something nice about your famous friend going up and being like, what is life but one red carpet being rolled the fuck out. I mean not this time, not this time I'm gonna fuck it. I don't know, Universal Hollywood Horror Nights and I before, oh my ass will have on the

park. This is for Amistic Quinn. I like those monsters, you want to go again? Wait, wait, everybody wait. Quinn wants to go through and we want to give him enough time in the front and enough time in the back So that nobody bothers him was going through the thing and I'm like Karma cut I am a hundred percent saying if I wait on the Ghostbusters line for two fucking hours and some fucking douche bed from a third-rate show on a fucking

Basic cable network breeze right in I would be like fuck fuck a fuck I get it I'm a hundred percent on board yeah I mean those those workers got a fucking deal with the fallout of you of letting you win early they have a ride on their hands what's the difference though between say you and someone who would walk in being like of course I should like say one of the real house wives are like any number of these reality stars. At least buddy doesn't seem like an entitled asshole. What are you talking about? He got pulled over and was telling the telling cops that he was he could get. He's like

apparently get this cake in the van. Okay, I'll get you killed on the footballs. Yeah, I'm the cake boss. Yeah, he's a real fucking old school gangster. No, I I couldn't instead of a fucking baker. I tried to use that people like eating cake this hot make you a boss I think it was just like I take like I take my lumps and I just walk away like I'm the I don't go I can't imagine you pitching a fit. I can imagine you like I'm not going on the ride. Yeah, that's what it is and I'm like all right Let's go to fuck a pirates again because I can get on that right I got juice yeah it's fun already fun like trying to come into your friend you don't draw shit around here Quinn sometimes the patriarchy loses right oh yeah like that has to make many marginalized and disenfranchised people right there feel good when they're like

Quinn no Recognizes who I am That's the reason I'm not getting it Because fuck this guy I don't get it If you were working there, you would be that guy if I I were working there, I'm always nice and I always fucking tip. Yeah. I always tip.

Whenever I can tip, I do. I'm never the guy that's like, fuck you, fuck this, fuck that. But I get it. I get it. Go home. You know, like from here on out, you can, instead of a couple dollars, maybe you slide them some cute condoms, you know, it's a little, yeah. You look here, get some plus on me.

And they're like, or whatever, you know, you're not saying strictly, it's for you. Yeah, no. Yeah, if you want to butt fuck a guy, go ahead and do it. Just can I put down a monsollo for five fucking seconds, you do whatever you want? Did you build a lightsaber? Do the line, the line for everything was,

all you could do is walk through the land and look at things. So it's the complete opposite of what they said. Complete opposite of what they said. And genders, you know, people have a gen, so they were pushing a false narrative about that it wasn't popular. So then everybody would go and they'll be like,

oh, I'll get right to the front of the line like I'm probably a bit of a practical joke here. So you think it was Disney was pushing it to get people to come? No, I know. That's deep. No, maybe. That's a really easy theory. I know that's not true.

I know there were problems. I've been listening to a lot of art bell recently too. I think I might be losing my mind. I know. I'm telling Steve. Thank you.