Tell Em Steve-Dave - #427: Water Tastes Like Water

Episode Date: November 24, 2019

Robo-Q visits, Walt makes a stinky Sophie’s choice. Bry defines irony.

I Got diarrhea on me Tom Brady I thought that I'll never do it again, God, I promise. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave you joined Walt and a mid conversation talking about my new awesome track suit. Q is also here. Hello. Yes, that's the new Q. New and improved robotic Q. Yeah, I had a little surgery. Now I can't talk for two weeks.

Throat surgery, well. What kind of activity would damage a throat, so severely, that you would need to get your throat repaired? What could have been jammed down there? It's typing like a maverick. That you would need to get your throat repaired. What could have been jammed down there? It's typing like a madman. And then it's like, what did you say? Show us when it's coming. It's still easier to understand than Q right when we speak. Ian Morris said that I had the same search or he had meldoo John.

Oh, why you had to get your stomach pumped, too? Oh, he's joined the Mount Rushmore of famous blow-choppers. What? What do you have in common? He asks. Say it again. What do we have in common? He asks.

What do we have in common? He asks, you and Elton John. Beautiful singing voice. And awesome, son. No. No. Oh, I don't know. What do we have in common he asks you and Elton John beautiful singing voice and awesome son ill No, I don't know if I had is there a definitive answer? Is he a Colonel? He is an employee, he's a dick so I can't eat. I saw a penis.

There you go. Now, Q, it's how many days out, sent your surgery. This should be so simple. Like, it's been a week. Okay. And you've been given this device, this Stephen Hawking computer voice box that is attached to your throat. No, it's just not a gen to iPad like you have. So how long have you been on the iPad having to communicate this way? It would be the week, right? A whole week?

A whole week. Do you like it? Like do you like? Because then people are probably less likely to ask you shit that they don't really need to talk about. a whole week. A whole week. Do you like it? Like do you like? Because then people are probably less likely to ask you shit that they don't really need to talk about. Oh yeah. Right.

It's just on an as need to no basis, right? No fluff. No. No. Hey dude. I am going to teach you a priest. A couple of those pink killers.

You'll be right back. Cause you're getting depressed. Cause you're alone. Oh, I'll see you all alone. No fellowship. None. Now, Walter, there is somebody here in the wings that it's it's a girl with my thoughts.

Help. Oh, he's like, he he's like like we talked about last week Johnny got his gun you're like he's trapped in his own mind you're falling into yourself mm-hmm it's and that's scary though they didn't give you any kind of like you know advice or treatment or somebody to contact if you start to feel this way. You're like not to go out and have a look and annoy people. Are you allowed to laugh? No laugh.

Not really. Don't think any happy thoughts. Wow. So in an effort to save your voice, you have to be completely numb for a entire week, well, two weeks, right? Now, do you mean emotionally because I'm in, I've been doing it most of my life. But they way you're equipped. You're saying you're getting depressed. You're ready to hang yourself. Here's assistant. Is here. Have you seen any of this type of

There's assistance here. Have you seen any of this type of Melancholy attitude? Yeah, I'm a trap in my own head Get a mansion with an iPad Poor guy I hope you removed all the sharp objects in the house and any towels or anything that you could hurt himself with. Anything to remind him of his former worth as a human like any IJ stuff. So what happened? Why did you have to have surgery on your throat? Are you allowed to talk about that? Or is that too? Or anything, really? I mean, we know it wasn't really because you were performing Felicia.

You were doing an El-and-john on someone. Paul, it's on my vocal cords. Overuse. Overuse. Too much. He's working those voice too hard. How did you get old? Get old.

Yeah, that's for sure. Everybody is. No one's me into it Q Is he is he to sell a radio? Tom well, yeah except Tom Brady, but I mean that's a given I don't know I Like I like hearing that Stephen Hawking say that Brady Tom Brady Yeah, I'm good I'm good behind that and there are a bunch of voices you could choose a Stephen Hawking also chose like what the fuck voices you could choose. So Stephen Hawking also chose like, what the fuck? Like why would he's doing it as a joke? Stephen Hawking was like, this is how I want to talk for you. If I could talk, this is how I would sound because you're gonna get more

CRED I think. Oh, you sound like a computer because you sound more you sound smarter or you sound more robotic So you're gonna sound more like informative if you when you're saying all your fucking bullshit about stars and shit It's true because like when I met Mary Beth and she's like, golly aren't you Steve? Hey, if she said robotic way, so I could more respect for her intelligence How's this any better sexier? Oh, you know what like could could you in a desperate times? You're not married, of course. Do you own Q on a deserted island? He's got his iPad, no voice. His voice still isn't recovered? It hasn't recovered. Now he got some salt water in it after the ship capsized.

So it's just you guys. All right. So now, of course, you're going to need a hand job eventually. Could you do it with the voice? And would you use the last of the battery power with you Hey walled looking good in that line clothes look. Oh, I had a white cloth on Come on, let's tear up our clothes Come on, let's tear up our clothes. It's a morning class. I don't think the voice alone is enough for me to forget that it's Q fucking jerking me off. I just don't think it would work. I don't think I have that good of an imagination that I could just, you know.

Then you're all man. I've seen the shit you draw, man, then you're all man because. Why? Could you draw some crazy shit your imagination is it can run wild but if you can't imagine well I mean that's a lady look into my eyes enjoy it you know if Sunday Jeff had one of them because he's got those dainty hands right so it might feel a little bit more like a lady

salmon cues big old burly fucking catcher mitts. Is there a chance your voice will never come back? No it will definitely come back. Yes. Yes. What if you... What the hell are these things? Oh that's not for me. the hell are these things? Oh, that's not for me. Okay. I sent her over to get some candy and she comes back with this, I don't know, there's a marshmallow looking thing. All right, it's for you. That wasn't aware of it. I want to sell the caramel one. But let's say you had permanently damaged your voice so much that it was never going to come back. Would you have felt it was all worth it? What? At all? Not coming back at all, they said it. You're mute. Would it have been worth it? Would that have been a

a bright, would that have been of price you could live with? It wasn't worth it. It wouldn't have been worth it. Not speaking for the next 50 years of his life. speaking that important. You've now that you find you can't for this little bit of time Have you now grown to have a better appreciation for communicating with your voice? Yes All that typing for yes, what is that way we would left over it? Yes, I lie not kidding. It's weird. I'm not kidding. It's rude Yes, I lie not kidding. It's weird That's a tough one. I mean, that's weird. It's weird. Oh, it's weird. Is that what you said? Weird. It's not a ton. Weird not to talk. Oh, weird not to talk. Right. And

especially like when you like, was it worth it? I mean, think of the shitty set on that show. No, it definitely was not worth it, right? What do you mean? Well, I mean, I'm talking about all the things that you've tried to insult. The fame, the fortune, the admiration. I mean, come on, man, I would think a voice was worth it. So comic bookman wasn't enough for you to lose your voice. Only the money. And that's not enough. Oh, wow, that's how much you've grown to miss your voice. Sometimes it takes that. Sometimes it takes to lose something before you realize how fucking meaningful it was, right? Recomit was his oral virginity. Yes. Yes. I thought, I'll never do it again, God, I promise.

Give me my voice back, I'm a joke. Next time I'm not gonna follow it, God. How am I supposed to know it's so acidic? You must eat a lot of citrus, God. Oh, it binds. It points me. Oh, he's typing. Have you accidentally spoken? Yeah. It's hurt.

Hmm, he said it hurts. Now have you broken? Other than the accident, have you spoken, maybe have less than one word since it's the operation? Oh, much to pay your kindness not ever speak again. Oh, how much would you take to never speak? Oh I think there's a number I could put on I'm not gonna put it out on a podcast though. Where are you gonna put it up? Because I want to be there. I don't know, I mean there's definitely a number though because I can't. I'm not gonna tell you right now. I don't like my voice as it is so I don't know if I would really miss it. Again I go communicating

would be the big thing but if I didn't ever had to hear this monstrosity of voices. No bullshit, man. I would try to go funny to match the funds for you not to lose your voice. Oh, all right. That's sweet. Yes. Now, what about if you were to have maybe an arousing dream

and you started speaking in your sleep. What would you do? I mean, you wouldn't even know. Like, you could fuck up everything because you're having some sort of erotic episode. I could probably fit another one in my mouth. Scary, but sounds pretty good. I didn't learn the first time. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, first time. Did you take any precautions to keep your mouth like, you know, be like a gag or something when you were sleeping so you wouldn't talk. He has

that many erotic dreams. Doctor, there's a problem you may not hear from. What I'm horny. That's right, at this advanced stage, I still got enough plural emissions. I wake up the boner. There it is. And of course, I got to do something about it. If there ain't no whole next to me, which is red doctor, tell you. That's very rare. Oh, I have a heart.

Yeah. Wow. I would hate it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha gets frustrating. I can imagine. It's good. Now, okay, how much would it be, but given the chance, would your wife say, walk a loses voice for a week and I'd be all right with it? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Do you talk to her too much? Um, I just think a week without hearing me would not be any big fucking loss.

Around the house? Oh yeah, around the house. Oh yeah. You don't offer up. It's not all sage like fucking wisdom that's coming out of these fucking lips. Sometimes it's just fucking. Nobody sage like do you mean my knees like it's on that level? Here's what you should do, fucking screw a light bulb in. So cue what will be the first words to come out of that new almost virgin like

throat now that it's been repaired. What will be the first sentence you speak in a couple of weeks? Point me if I cock. Let's fuck this love tunnel up again. Saul. Let's do you feel I want to let's fuck this love tunnel up again. Salvatore Do you think it was just something that would have happened regardless even if you weren't on stage?

No, no wasn't hereditary No, I never shut the fuck up. So I don't rest. So polyps for days. Sort polyps for days. I guess after every is working hard and there will be days afterwards They were polyps polyps polyps polyps. Yeah. Oh, yo, oh somebody put that to a beat right? I'm going to call it polyps Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha by the by the next Tom Steve Dave we might be able to hear your oh so familiar. Should be okay. That's good to hear.

Well, to ease into it maybe like a tidbit. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So I mean to come down and still do Tom Steve Dave in your condition. I mean there should be a fucking parade down the center of Tom Steve Dave town. TSD town should be rejoicing. I mean aren't you one of the co-mayors you can make it happen why sing there should be. Why isn't there a float of you. Yeah with your polyps like coming out of your throat. We're like a like a doctor slaying a giant polyp. There should be, there should people will be annoyed at this. Oh, it's I.R. man. Then tell them they can just go fuck off. Yeah, with that, I put. Fuck off. There you go. We, I think it's um, Steve Dave town, like nobody pays attention to any

other diseases, like all the medical researchers just directed towards polyps in the eradication. Now how about eating is that a problem with the with the throat? No. Were you told to eat a lot of ice cream or stay away from certain things spicy food? Ice cream. Stay away from cold at first. Cold? What about Mexican food? Very spicy. Yum. So there was no like no doctors advice to like you know to stay keep things out of the throat that shouldn't be in there. Just don't talk. Okay. Was it quite stopped only going to be honest? HIV is no joke. Is there anything you're concerned with? Well, like Q's head to like all of us, some major health stuff. Yeah, I know. Mine's coming at me. It's only so long before sooner or later,

something's gonna come my way. I just hope it's something that I can rebound from as quickly as you guys have from your maladies. Well, he's back in two weeks. It took me like eight years to recall. Well, I mean, you were still here though. I mean, regardless of what was going on when the mics were off.

Yeah. Yes, true. Look at me. I'm a hero too. Yeah, you are. Not worthy of a parade mind you, but still, you know, a good, like, you know, maybe we'll lower flag. Like half-mast, so I did die then. I feel kind of bad talking about this sponsor because I know how much Q loves it and the speech is limited. You know, it's not limited though, once he has this, this is fucking boner age. Well hold on, let's find out, you know, with your recent surgery on your throat, did the

doctor like say, hey, you know what, complete shutdown of your voice and all extra curricular activities. This tick doesn't get dry. Really? The doctors didn't say you had to make sure you're preserving every ounce of energy to make that throat feel better? Rest, right? That's... Yeah, bed rest.

Can't stop once, stop. Yeah. Wow. I would like to see the doctors face it. That's what we're trying. Yeah, that's... My teeth are stained blue. There's, uh, what, you're not even going to have to say anything.

I don't think. You could act like you over here because we got a testimonial from it Oh Yeah, I got I think I got this email too did you yeah, he was a very complimentary of the Blue Choo Drug he was he was a wife of 13 years partner of 17 says you wanted a divorce He was a wife of 13 years partner of 17 says you wanted a divorce Gotta be tough He was crushed and then he started dating a couple months later, but the problem was he had trouble when it was time to get done must be a fucking

Hanson guy. I thought you were gonna say it saved the marriage No, that would be a much fucking sweeter story That's a happy fucking ending you two keeps it real. Hey, this is a happy ending too They weren't right for each other. What are you gonna do? You're married 13 years. You're gonna stay together the next 40 just because. Maybe if you had tried the Bluchoo,

maybe just a couple months earlier, you know, maybe, you know, that you only has a self-deblame as what you're saying. She ran off to get better and different dick. Okay, yeah, you're right. You're right. You're trouble. He knew it wasn't the erectile dysfunction, because he was only 37. Plus, he could be ready any other time a lady wasn't around. Hmm, what's that supposed to mean? Well, I guess emotionally, he was still thinking about his wife.

Jerking off. Jerking off. Okay. He said he could seal the deal. Maybe the second or third time trying. You can imagine his frustration. Hey, I don't have to imagine it in there, brother. So he used blue chew. And then he got the first, the first shipment a week later for free. He just paid shipping. He was wearing a skeptical. But he said, holy shit, it works No problems. Bona is out the ass. Not in him Who's to say? I mean wherever you're gonna put it. It's fine as long as the other person doesn't matter It's the other person says it's okay. Yeah as long as they're aware of it. You know You don't sneak up on I think I'm on the blue chew wagon now

I'm not to take it. I mean but I like you're all fucking funny How do I fucking need blue chew? I got a fucking Super Bowl right? Blue rings. That's what you wear in the bed Let's see blue chute first chubo with the same FDA approved active ingredients such as Vigrants Yalice, you know, they work Come on who wants to'all, so you know, they work. Come on. Who wants to show up in bed? You know, it's like showing up in bed. There's no sheet to no pillows. You show up without a boner. People notice, right? Well, I thought that was, you know, up to the, your partner to make to be your, your belong to.

Vince, our for boners. Vince, our for boners. Your, oh, your partner's, oh, so it's your partners fault. If you kept, so wait a second. Was it his fault or was it hurtful? No, no, I'm just saying no like he wasn't getting this enough for me Well, you know nobody's that fault because thank God because now we got blue chew to fuck and come in and rescue today The blue chew is like the parent who's like mediating the argument, right? Hey, whether you're too gross to fuck or you're just too old and incompetent and flaccid to fuck, doesn't matter. Blue Choo, here's here to rescue. I'd never even considered

that. Wow. Yeah. It's like a blue Choo is basically beer goggles in, right? For whom? I guess forever's taken it, right? I mean, I mean you if you're gonna take it you might as well fucking Yeah, why was the point of not Blue true put the blue chew to use if you're oh If they they also you're say okay, so you're saying if she's hot then blue chew you can like save it And just say you got a fuck a beast. Yeah, I'm sure you are there for you, right? And just say you got a fuck a beast. Brutchew is there for you. Right. Should be the new tagline.

If you got a fuck a beast, Blutchew is there for you. We're alternately going hogging. Take a blue chiu. Blutchew, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, chiu, ch, Victor and Alex, no Mexican, Bluetooth here. And it's not even you guys, it's the Chinese. There's sneaky getting that shit into this country. Visit Bluetooth.com, get your first shipment free. Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie, Erie,

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Spain? Yeah. I mean, I mean. I mean, I'm just want to listen in regular. This is amazing technology, though. I mean, like 10 years ago, we couldn't do shit like this. Like you would have been out of commission. He would have been fucking, you know, just crying in his bed.

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Thank you, BlueChew, for sponsoring the podcast. Thank you for the poll. There's BlueChew. There you go. Q's situation is very interesting, but I think he'd agree not nearly as interesting as you're bedazzled right. And I see a Jersey devil ring. It looks like the Raiders possibly. No, no, no, the Patriots.

Patriots rings and a devil's championship ring. My mindset from now on is every podcast I do, I'm gonna treat like a fucking Superbowl. And you should see these Super Bowl rings on his hand. It looks like like pinky rings For yeah, I don't have the fingers to pull off these championship rings Well two of them were gifts from our from our cameraman Alex He knows I'm a big Patriot's fan and he he acquired these Super Bowl rings. I don't know where he got them But they're these are real Super Bowl rings that you've procured for Walt or are they

reproductions Alex okay, they're not real They're beautiful. I adore them and I can't thank him enough, but like I said I Have much with this how much were those a lot yeah so that's it every every podcast is like a super bowl every podcast I'm gonna treat like a super bowl I want to fucking be all in and just try to win a podcasting championship every time out I feel like you do with every time not every time huh with you without the rings well Well, now we got the hardware down. Yeah. Why don't we have Alex? Why don't we have our own rings? Like that? Tell them Steve Dave championship ring that we give to ourselves because we want it for them.

Just gotta make it. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. We'll do it for the upper Patreon tier. Run off a couple extras for us. There you go. All right, now we got it all figured out. Well, this is a big problem. But don't ignore Q just because he can't speak. I feel like he's not involved in, you know, he's feeling fine. I'm alone. What I meant to say was, Q.

Oh, alone. Speaking of health issues. What I meant to say was cute. Speaking of health issues and Not overcoming them a certain bagel shrimp Stroked out recently a couple days ago and Is in a coma. He's he was in a coma. I don't know it It seems the world is not as excited to find out what's going on with him while he's in his coma as the war when he's like throwing bagels around and yelling at ladies. But if you were to I'll show you a pretty funny picture of him in a second. He's got all sorts of shit hooked up to him in the hospital.

But who can who releases that picture though? Well, the people putting out the go fund me because they want to help bagel shrimp with his. So as Chris Morgan has suffered a stroke, any monetary assistance provided will be put towards helping Chris in his recovery. He currently has no feeling on one side and won't open his eyes. Wander can't. Won't a totally different story. It's like, well, fuck you. I'm going to give you money so you'll open his eyes. Wondering can't. Wondering to totally different story. It's like, well, fuck you, that. I'm gonna give you money so you'll open your eyes. He acknowledged verbal correspondence upon my arrival.

So I guess he's like, ah, what's up? You know, with the half-groupy thing. So if you wanna give money to, to, to bagel shrimp, you can on his go-fund me. He's looking for 10 grand in five days. How much do you think someone of a bagel shrimp? That's a good question. Because 10 grand to me in this day and age with social media and how famous he was just in the summertime. I will think that'd be unattainable, but you're, but the way you're phrasing it,

it sounds like you may be far below the 10 grand. That is not as beloved. Yeah, I'm going to say healing has a thousand five hundred. Pretty close. One thousand two hundred and fifteen dollars out of ten thousand. Let me put it in the perspective. When Princess Mitch got sick, Let me put it in the perspective. When Princess Mitch got sick, Gemma organized this GoFundMe without my knowledge or, or, uh, what are you called? Not a proof. Whatever. She did on her own. Very sweet gesture. 3000 in less time than this. Princess Mitch never did anything. So TSD Towns is a beautiful place. You know, it's not like the rest of the world. The world just fucking turned their back on big old shrimp when he needed us the most.

Yeah, like, didn't he give us enough during his life? But didn't he give us enough for that one day when everybody was talking about him? Everybody was so mused. How angry and short he is. Yeah, and everybody, but now it's like, okay, now he needs you people, and you people don't have the time for him. Are they just termites then? And he was the free cheese. Is it awful to say that if you found out that Bigel Shrimp died,

you'd be like, I have no feelings one way or the other. It's just one way. I don't know. Do you think it's awful? found out that Bigel shrimp died, he'd be like, I have no feelings one way or the other. It's just one way. Ha ha ha ha. I don't know. Do you think it's awful? Cute, it's too. If you found out he was dead, would you feel sadness or nothing or shock?

Why should you care? Yeah, I know, but it felt like he was, like I said, he was on his way to something. Yeah, I know, but it felt like he was like I said he was on his way to something. Yeah, probably court. Passively gel like a real. D dice. What was that? Everybody dies.

Everybody dies. Oh, that's a very good. Yeah, he's so dark today. But he was on his way to a reality show. I thought I thought for sure he was going to turn that to a reality show, I thought. I thought for sure he was going to turn that into a reality show and it was going to be like the big, like the new, what's that show you used to?

Draco Jokers? No. No, it showed up. So TV, this fall. Bigel shrimp. With Mama June and... Oh, a honey booboo. I thought he was going to be turning his life into a new honey boo boo show because people like that kind of, you know, the side show. They do, but he's not likable. Like honey boo boo is likable. The mama June is, it was gross and not likable.

But the honey boo boo was and some of the other children were and you would watch it from the train wreck perspective to be like, oh, these poor children. Now, you watch a big ol' shrimp reality show. What the fuck is there to like about it? It's just going to be people having a non-stop. I would love to be on that show just being in the room to be like, here's some ideas to fucking do with an AT-mix. I was asking if they wanted to hire us as writers, what I say, yes. I thought you can have my voice for life if I can write the show. I believe we, I believe, I believe Bagel Shrimp, the show could have been a fucking, could have been a winner, you know, with the right people involved though.

If he doesn't stroke out. Well, that would be about what would it be about? Be about him finding his way in a world that has abandoned them. You know, a world that just doesn't want to know his existence and he's going to rise above it and he's going to be, he's going to be at every man's champion. He's an American white male. I know he does have that going against them, but people get shit upon plenty of times though before the season finale though, because people do want to see him get shit up.

We don't have to tell up upfront bagel shrimp. There's the news. You're not like you're not. But it's just reality. But by the season finale though, he will have found some sort of win to, you know, to give everybody hope that, you know, even if you were a bagel shrimp on your own life, you're feeling the feeling of bagel shrimp. You can win What are you fucking do a lottery scratch off?

You're in the lottery fucking She's like one of those wacko lottery winners. It's like I won a billion dollars. Let me buy more tickets. Maybe I'll win again So if anybody couldn't hear somebody was, what was that? She was doing lottery scratches. She's like, shh. Watermelon. Okay, that's greedy.

That's what's to be. That's greedy. You already won the fuck a lottery. It's all, needs more. Talk about an American. Good God. Imagine at home. Floor's littered with lottery tickets everywhere. Scratchers.

Really? Yeah, I can see. Is that true? So, as I say, I'm not one to play the lottery about you. You played a lot. I mean again. No Before before you were Did you play it Not really. Yeah, I've always felt it was a suckers that it's it's It's a self-imposed tax it is a self-imposed tax. It is a self-imposed tax. And I get angry at people who

like if you go to a convenience store and there's not like two people like one for the lottery, one for the register. Now you have some asshole in front of you. That's like, give me fucking this number, straightened box, and blah, blah, blah, and all those other shit. And I'm like, look, asshole, statistically, I have the same chance of winning lottery as the jerk off in front of me who's wasting my time buying a ticket, which is to say not at all. So get the fuck out of the way. Stop wasting my time and your money and fucking let me buy whatever I need to buy. You're not going to win. You're just not. And the fuck off. But somebody does. We don't know that person. Have you ever met a lottery winner? Because I have. I knew that a lottery winner when we were growing Have you ever met a lottery winner? Because I have.

I knew that lottery winner when we were growing up, so I won a lottery. Yeah, how much? They won like $1,000 for life. Oh, Michelle Taragano. I knew the fucking name. I wasn't going to... Why would you fucking say it aloud?

The girl who used to go out with Scott Zayden. Why? You intentionally kept it vague. So you wouldn't say... All right. A guy on the I.JJ cruise parents 110 meters million 10 million So you know well people do win it, but yeah, I just never felt I was gonna win it So I never wouldn't waste the money just felt like I was burning it. Yeah, you are

I don't know. I mean I But everything's a gamble though right you life is a gamble. Yes Why is words from the account? Q, we didn't benefit from this sponsor. Unless you have a reason for those like scrubs that doctors use, like doctors and nurses and veterinarians all that. Oh, I got these.

This is figs. This is figs, yeah. This is a good one. I actually ordered the figs. I'm wearing the figs now. You wear them around like you're a doctor? Yeah, well, I mean, they're really comfortable. Yeah, I'm actually, this is a good brand.

This is a good... You know that was supposed to be for your daughter who's in the medical field, right? I told her I was like, hey, go order some scrubs. We got three figs. I did. Yeah,'t refit. I did Yeah, you didn't there's only one free fig to go around Never got blue too either

If we went online and he did his Bluetooth thing, would they accept this as the voice? If I was them, I would not. No. This doesn't seem legit. Don't have your really close. They're already starting to fucking the fringes of legality already. Just kidding. It's a little great.

Keep it out of sight. And then just like mouth the words, like you're really saying it. And hello. There you have bone issues. By the way, back to Fixo and scrubs, I told my daughter I was like, you know, you can go order two pairs of scrubs. And I said, did you order them? She goes, now, I was like, I'm going to go use the code then. And I ordered my own pair. Can't stop wearing them. Really? Yeah, they're really comfortable. And stylish. Well, they're just like stylish. Yeah, they're just like, yeah, they're trendy. But yeah, with medical professionals, hey, can you get some free

fig scrubs? The guy's ready to fucking off himself. He hasn't spoken in a week. You're gonna try. I didn't realize that I was getting the, why am I, why did I get the only cop? Because you're daughter has a medical field. Oh, she's going to be in the school. She's going to be, she's nurse, right? Yeah, well, she wants, she wants to be. She's not a nurse yet, though. I look more like a nurse than she does when I'm walking around in house of my scrubs.

If she's not walking around in scrubs, yeah, I think that's probably true. I feel like I'm more knowledgeable on medical issues on where my scrubs. Well, is getting right next to you with his scrubs on? We're like real doctors on most like there's no different. I think something on the wall. You know, he told me about my planners, he was like, because have you ever thought about changing your sneakers? And I was like, well, I just got these sneakers.

Because have you seen my feet? No, I need to keep them on for life. And he said, well, why don't you just, I go, I just got these sneakers. I don't want to buy a new pair of sneakers. And he goes, well, isn't it worth it? If it takes the pain away just to see if it was the sneakers? And it's like, damn, that is fucking pretty smart.

It is kind of worth it to take all that pain away. Just to go get a new pair of sneakers. A man of your means, yeah, I'd say so. I got a new pair of sneakers, the pain went away. It wasn't fucking planar's heel. So he misdiagnosed you and then diagnosed, he gave you a prescription for sneakers. Yeah.

And then you put on your scrubs and you're like, I could have written this myself. I don't need him. I'm 10 times a doctor, he'll ever be. Well, but I was, I was thankful though, for the, you know, cause he thought about it. It wasn't like he just said it, like, like he said it on prompted.

He just came over to me one day and he goes, he said he'll still bother me, cause I noticed you're walking on Olympus, like, yeah, it's fucking still hard. So he think, and he goes, did you ever thought about a new sneaker? And I was just like, damn, I can't believe it. No, I haven't.

Yeah, it, it, it bears mentioning that his quote unquote, doctor, it took him 10 minutes to walk 20 feet because he has a gout leg and a fucked up foot and all kinds of other shit. But the two of you limp around this door. Yeah, yeah, we limp around this. Not anymore, I got myself a new pair of sneakers and I'm all good now.

Two limp legs and one limp wrist. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. So anyway, they create the highest quality medical apparel. So that medical professionals look their best feel, their best and perform at their best every day.

Could you wear them here, you think? You're like a doctor of homicology? I definitely. Do these look like scrubs? Are they the same thing I'm thinking? Yes, they look like scrubs. I got I got two pair of black pants scrubs. I didn't get the shirt though. No, you know the shirt Yeah, they're infused with anti-microbial properties to control odors. They're really soft moisture wicking Oh, I need my moisture wick. I don't know that code my my the back of my knees were always fucking really sweaty

That's my problem area. Hi, here needs the back of my knees, not in the face. That's embarrassing. Yeah. Uh, hey, I see what you like. I'm there made with yoga waistbands and coming over a variety of styles from classic straight legs to joggers to skinny styles. Yeah, I got I got the skinny style. Yeah, skinny style. That's good. It looks like it looks like two black licorice. It's not fucking jack skeletons. Prints it around a house with my fucking stethoscope. Like that doctor in the wheelchair should be wearing your scrubs. Oh, Figs gives back too.

All right. Every time you shop at Figs, probably not when you get it for free, but when you shop out, they give scrubs to healthcare professionals in need around the world through their threads for threads initiative. And to date, Figs has donated hundreds of thousands of sets in over 35 countries. So speaking of giving,

they make great gifts for the lifesavers in your life, unless you're a nursing school and you're like, this shit doesn't appeal to me for some reason. What's she looking for? That thing doesn't. I don't even think she went and looked. Because I don't think she believed me.

I was like, you can go get these for free. And then she's like, well, what do I do? And I was like, then you've got to get this code, I said. Put this code in. I think it was just too many steps. Yeah. Yeah. We got it.

Kids. Kids today. Yeah. Make sure that they always, they're, you know, they're suspicious. They always think their strings attached She responded to wearing them the fix the Have they been a big hit at home? Well first she couldn't believe it because that they actually came because I told you you could have had these but now they're mine What so she sees the amount she ships it she ships all the stuff out

thousands and thousands of things every month and it still doesn't occur to her that somebody somewhere maybe like he's worth a free pair of scrub pants. And they're super comfortable too. You don't have to be a surgeon or a doctor to fuck and wear these pants. Clearly. You can just wear them around the house watching TV, they're great lounging pants. I'm not kidding around. These are soup. They're more comfortable than any pajamas I've ever worn. So like Bluetooth, even if you don't have the ED, it's just a little extra something.

You can still use it. And just like these, it's like even if you haven't gone to the trouble of eight years ten years of school you can still be as comfortable as a doctor in your living room and I know they're definitely different kind of pants I've never felt such deep pockets and pants I've ever worn before. So all these ads were doing. I mean literally deep I mean it's like it's for putting doctors shit in your pockets. I bet you like stethoscope Yeah, but you like that a lot of shit in their pockets I I can fit so much stuff on these pockets that I'm like Get some the get them remember all that shit in his pockets

Yeah, but again, I'm not kidding around like even if you're not into like you don't have to wear scrubs for your profession You can wear them to land around the house. I don't know if it's, I don't know if that's, you know, cost effective, but they're really comfortable though. If you get it for free, definitely go. Yeah, otherwise. Here's the call to action. If you're not one of those people who over the course of 10 years has earned themselves a free pair of scrub pants and you need to pay for them, where do you go? Where?

Figs. F-I-G-S. .com. Enter the code T-S-D-A-Checkout. If you're... Wait. Hmm. Whether you're one of those awesome humans that works in the healthcare or one of the other

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Kachine. Kachine. Kachine. Kachine. It's gonna be a good game. Yeah. Let's move on. Let's move on.

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Why the fuck would you not go by this shit? I miss burl. I miss burl. I miss burl. I miss burl. All right. Good. That was pretty good.

That was pretty good. Just say what? What's it that you didn't like about it? She's like anything now. No, it's a hot action. You have to be really clear where things W-E-A-R are. I did, I spelled it out. You didn't spell it, you just got all things, you didn't spell it out. W-E-A-R-F-I-G-S, in case you're illiterate, that's where, not as in like, hey, do you want

to buy our wares? But since you fucking wear the scrubs, it's W-E-A-R. And figs, not the uncommon spelling, like say the pinball twins would have with a Z, but F-I-G-S as in the more traditional figs spelling. Get clearer, bitch. W-E-A. Can you type this out as well? Capital W. E. E. type this out as well. That was a period. What's she says? Dot. Come.

Come, come. Nice. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, S, D, D. You put that in a check out after going to W. Wherefigs.com? If you went, you have a choice of these two things. Well, you go to Hollywood with, you the wife and the girls going on a vacation. You've hit all like what like Universal and Disney and not staring all those fucking places and they want to go see the Hollywood walk of fame and While you're there, okay On this side of the street is this example on this side of the street is this example on this side of the street

some Burley dude doesn't like the cutier jiv and kicks your ass in front of your wife and kids leaves you on the ground. On this side of the street, a homeless psycho dumps a bucket of hot diarrhea all over your head and body that he's been saving for weeks. Which do you prefer? Or which doctor? For that's a, it a no-win proposition right there Diaries not much fun. Here's not but you take the ass kicking Yeah, you'd be a get your ass kicked. I have a had you but how do you come back from that?

You know in front of the family though. They saw you fucking Fold up like a pretzel. Yeah, man. You struck your fucking gentleman Jim Corbett Fuck you, but then again up the AIDS from the homeless shit parasites in your eyes and mouth and shit It's hard to also to forget that they saw me doused in diarrhea It might be hard to get to forget that image that I'm like do I got diarrhea on me? Yeah, yeah, oh, I Just way more than usual The smell the smell yeah to a super smelly. You know what that's gonna do

You may as well get punched out You know I can't speaking of senses though? If I could turn off these nostrils, I would do it. Yeah, it's a curse, man. You take the diet, yeah? No, no, I'm talking about like if I had to use like the voice or one of my other senses, I would definitely take the smell. You're out of the loser's smell, but then you can't taste it, man.

I'm just smelling it. Everything I smell just is just overpowers me. Oh, hey, okay, so you lose your sense of smell. That means you lose your sense of taste. Now do you eat more stuff? Yeah, I could probably eat whatever was healthy now. What would you do if you didn't have super smell? How would life change?

I would eat healthier. Yeah, I have some lettuce. Lettuce smells? No, it have some lettuce. Lettuce smells? No, it tastes like shit. I, we know. Don't even bother. Don't even type it out. What?

You guys know taste what's the matter? It's like an edible wet paper towel kind of. That's sort of like... Tastes like water. Yeah. It tastes like water. Yeah. Look, this water tastes like... like tastes like water. Yeah, it tastes like water. Yeah, look this water tastes like Taste like water like nothing. Yeah, you can you can fuck a push the button a thousand times over you not really give me an answer though Water tastes like water

Like like nothing. That's a fucking Chinese riddle over there, like a proverb or a taste like. Tastes like lettuce. But I guess I'd have to go with the S king and two of Q. But I mean, it depends on how bad it was. So what if like they did break my fracture, my skull, fracture the orbit of your eye. So it's like bulging at you. You know, how what, what are the longterm repercussions of such an ass beating? All right, you got knocked out and you have a shiner and a wiggly tooth.

Can you really knock it out, but it's a little wiggly? Oh, yes. Fuck it, that's not much. Mm-hmm, yeah. I would be just like, you know what? You caught me unaware. You know, if I be... No, he didn't.

Ha ha ha ha. What? Ha ha ha ha. I would be like, man, I was a sucker, plush. I'm not gonna do it. You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do?

You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do?

You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? You know what I'm gonna do? I mean you have to go with something they didn't see because you didn't get sucker punched. Oh yes, I did He was a younger guy. Let's say he was like half your age. Yeah, he's a nice. They stole my rings

How did you want the Super Bowl? I thought I had one rich I thought I had one on Super Bowl and it's daily copy I thought I had fuck of one rich. I thought I had one on Super Bowl and it's daily copy Like he doesn't look that in shape Because he's the only guy that's ever wanted to Super Bowl and no I think a world series So he's only guys ever one two championships the only athlete of all time. I think so wow I think he's only guys over one two championships. The only athlete of all time. I think so. Wow. I think he's well He's definitely the most high profile, but I I almost think he's the only athlete that's everyone two major championships in different, you know different sports right So that's how people would know that you hadn't won them Well, am I wearing the rings everywhere I go?

No, I thought I was just wearing them when I podcasted. I thought so. Yeah, I heard about the story about the diary. If that's not enough to change the way that a city goes about dealing with the problems that are in the city. The homeless people. Well, it won't. It won't. It won't.

The fucking guy, they sent the guy to jail. If it was the fucking mayor it would. If the mayor had fucking swallowed a fucking fuck at a diary, I bet you he'd fucking make you provisions at the fucking council, the next council meeting. He's like, almost be worthy shot on set. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha second, but the homeless guy is like, I was, I was telling Mary Beth, I'm like, I have the worst fucking luck. I have the worst luck. And then you see shit like this. And it's

like statistically, what are the chances of coming from another country going to the Hollywood walk of faith? Oh, it was somebody it was a, it was a visitor to or. I think it was, yeah, it was a UK person. You think that, uh, you think that's hours the trip? Little. Well, I heard, I heard a story with her and she's like, basically I have PTSD.

Oh, that's so horrible. I can't even, I mean, it's beyond words. Now, he's a homeless crazy guy. You probably can tell that just by looking at him. If he dumps it on not you, but one of your girls or your wife, I would jump in and you have to be him. Oh yeah, you like die of like a slow motion. And I've had a fucking appreciated. Really, man. They better not be like, I'll actually lose his voice for a week. Now, you know, I mean, you and your new,

your newly wed, your fiance. In a while, hasn't it? Way to calm again. You walk it on the street, you see that bucket coming? Do you push it out of the way and take that fucking brown splash? Do I take it for her? Like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man, that's a. I wouldn't want to I'm like, I'd damn it I'm provoked as she says it gave her PTSD. She was about to drive home from a tie restaurant near the fame tourist area when Jare blessings. Wow, there's an ironic. What did I do to that guy? Should he go to Jailcube? It was diarrhea, hot liquid. It soaked and it was coming off my eyelashes and into my eyes. Ooh.

Now, where did they come up with this word too? You ever wonder who fucking diarrhea? Yeah. Was it a doctor? Probably Latin. It's such a word that makes you just don't want to hear the word. I need to know yeah It's one of those things where if someone's like hey how you feel like not that great. I've diarrhea You would never say that. It's like why'd you tell me that yeah, yeah

There's no need to fucking give me that information I'm a bad idea. I told the homeless guy was reached out to and given a sympathetic ear. He has problems. We don't know He needs to start talking he's becoming too like introspective and like he's gonna start feeling shit I don't need that. I don't need a cute appeals Did they take the balls off too with the polps He's a pre-op transgender now. Greek, Walt. It's Greek, the word? Yup.

Daya, meaning through, was it say, reen means to flow. So Daya reen, hey, what were you doing last night? I was Daya reen. Flow, through, Daya, to flow, reen. So through to flow. So it's like liquid shit, basically shit basically is what the Greeks were saying Save some up in a bucket weren't the Greeks the first ones to come up with sores and butt fucking No, that's not true. But fucking I mean probably not but they're into it right?

Yeah, but I bet you even before Romans there was some people who are like You know just not smart enough to know where to put it then why do they call it? Yeah You know they just weren't intelligent. I don't mean a bad way. I just mean they like they were just primitives Then why do they call it like go and Greek if you know? Oh, it is it's It's a stereotype. Oh an ugly stereotype. Yeah, I'm sure like yeah, you don't know what you think they invented that. No, well, okay I'm gonna read to you. Um, wait a second. You can wear a comes back, but you know that you know there had to be like pro magnums that were like, oh sure. Oh, you even have an illustration of it. It's pretty hot if you want to see it. Well, no.

It's generally the insertion and thrusting of the rekt penis into a person's anus or anus and rektum. I'm so stupid that I honestly thought anus and rektum were interchangeable. I didn't know there were two separate parts. other forms include fingers. These are recharged warning warning short circuit. What was that fucking short circuit? What's that robot's name? Number five. Yeah.

Number five. Um, Johnny five allied Yeah, I like this movie's here Surprise it hasn't remade that movie. Oh, there you go ancient Sumerians had very relaxed attitudes towards sex And you know, it was just fucking the bus bad ass Sumerian of all the rock Cute or no, he's some moan Samarion of all the rock. Cute. No, he's some moan.

Go sir. Are they not interchangeable again? I said rectum Conan of our bearing was a Samarion. Oh, yeah The earliest known civilization in the historical region of southern Mesopotamia modern-day southern Iraq. So we decided isn't it? Sumerian Sumerian. Yeah Yeah, well, I was it is it C I M E R oh no no no no no this is SUM okay this is I'm just I'm not talking about go a fucking go on conscious if you're gonna tell me Conan was into dudes no way Conan the barbarian fucking slaying pussy right left he cut every dude's throat?

That's not a guy you want to fuck if your cut is throat first This is okay if you want to read about anal sex and Sumeria you're gonna have to go to Wikipedia Well here's to fucking a cave painting of two guys fucking fan and each other and getting ready to butt fuck old You mean cave paintings. Are you right? Fred and Barney here's a crow magnet and drawn a picture himself second dick and fan and each other and getting ready to buckfuck. Told you man, cave paintings. Oh, you're right. Fred and Barney. Here's a crow magnum drawn a picture of himself second dick. Ah, all right.

Rim job. What a cool lie. Can we talk about you? You were very proud of your outfit. Today, how come you haven't pulled up yet? Looks dope. Thank you. Yeah yet. Looks dope. Thank you. Yeah, I was in a macy's recently and I saw a puff daddy.

Tracksuit the lore. I haven't seen really the Lord Tracksuits in some time. Like it looks freshy fresh. Right. Like an 80s rapper or a modern day mobster. It's a set with a jacket and it's real songs. Did you feel it yet? Feel it. That's going to change your mind. Oh yeah, that's right. That is. Would you wear this? I just thought it was interesting because I have, when's the last time you

saw me wear something like this? Yeah, I think that out of the ordinary though. I don't know why. I just didn't. I'm happy to report. I got got a puffed at a one and you got an identical puffed at once. Makes sense. He's from New Jersey. Yeah. Slam. See that shit all the time.

In Jersey. Not in Staten Island. Brooklyn. Yes. There too. So. Not in Staten Island, though. Brooklyn. Yeah. Yeah. There too. So, so yeah, I thought it would be more impressive.

Probably we should have worn them both at the same time. Anyway, I didn't notice that anyone cared. If you're both wearing the same exact outfits, yeah, I'd probably want to notice. Yeah, definitely. That wouldn't escape my attention. I don't know. Oh, do you want to hear me being an asshole? Yeah, definitely. That wouldn't escape my attention. Oh, do you want to hear me being an asshole?

Yeah, or at least I'll leave it up to you. Like, re-listening, I'm like, I kind of sound like an asshole, but with good reason. So, door dash, this, you use door dash. Yeah, I don't really use it, but my kids use it. They growl still. So we use it but my kids so we use that sometimes and we ordered from sonic oh my god yeah yeah you know where this is going oh my god oh sonic is literally admitted from his house yeah delight food cold outside it's cold that it's not cold out yet this isn't well you like the cold man. Wow But anyway

It's more than a well somebody will bring it to you surely He's gonna bring it to you. Why would I leave? That's their job the fucking Wally his if I go out and get it then that door d'asher doesn't have a means of income I'm keeping the fucking economy going, baby. In America. I'm so lonely. So we order something, the Mary Beth and Sage, and the guy who brings it brings two shakes, one of them incorrect, no food. And I was like, what is going on here? And he's like, doofy, like a doofy guy. And he's like, Oh, he's like, Oh, there's what they gave me. Probably the probably second delivery comment. You've got in door dash. There is no second

delivery. They don't fucking bring it to you in its stallments. So we have to then go on and and by we, I mean, Mary Beth to deal with Dordesh and get the money back and whatever and then we just order from somewhere else. The next day we're like, all right, let's reset. Let's try Sonic again. Have you lost your license? I know she's not on that for drive yet, but I lost your license because you not just driving for fucking two seconds to get it? Because I don't want to. The definition of insanity. So.

Well, I don't want to. I don't want to. OK. That's it. That's the only reason. I'm like, they'll bring it. I don't want to go out in the cold. If it was nice out and sunny out maybe,

but it's like it gets dark at 5 o'clock now, and I just want to deal with it. So the door-dashier bring, now this is on me because they bring the fucking food and I go to look through it and They're fucking missing a hamburger. These assholes at Sonic and Middletown the place should be shut down just for pure incompetence So I get in the car and I fucking drive But I'm like I'm going to because, because the last time Mary Beth was like, I was gonna call him and warn him. And I don't know if she's gonna do it this time.

And I don't want like the cops to be there. So I'm trying to maintain a calm. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So I get to the, I talk to the manager who's a 20 year old girl with multi colored hair. And I'm like, looking at her and I'm'm like I'm about to say something that she's not gonna give a fuck about at all but I say it anyway turns on them right she doesn't give a fuck she's like well you have to if there's a missing item you have to

you have to like go to the app and tell them I'm like but you guys packed it and I'm here now yeah that seems foolish that they just can't correct. She's a fucking Iowa state. Everybody who works there is a fucking idiot. And I wish I had a bucket of hot diarrhea to fucking dump on them because I would do it. Oh, that's a little harsh. I would. Forgetting a hamburger?

No. Forgetting a hamburger? A thousand fucking times. Every fuck, the night before there's something wrong with it. This time there's something wrong with it. The time before that there's something fucking wrong with it. They are so fucking incompetent as is almost everyone. I went to the eye doctor this week, this fucking idiot behind the counter. A receptionist, a male receptionist, the lowest of the low, fucking trying to get information, just very basic information from this cocksucker was nearly impossible and you can ask Mary Beth is not me right I'm

asking I'm like what the fuck is the brand of these contacts I'm like I call up and I'm like hey comment first I need to know the brand of these contacts it says this TORIC RF whatever yeah that's that's what you need it and I was like okay but what's the brand? Is the brand Twork? And he's like, no. Okay, is it enough? Well, I need you to know that the brand is.

So I can order them. So I can order them. Because I paid for the fucking appointment and I deserve that belongs to me, that information. But don't they have to order them for you? Maybe they don't. Oh, I'm not gonna get it off by these assholes. That's why they're not getting any information though, I think.

But, no. If you can going to get it off by these assholes. That's why they're not giving you the information though, I think. But no, you can't go to a start party. Go to a fucking fly by night, you know, contact. 100 contacts. Yeah. Okay, fly by night. No, yeah, you're right that they probably would rather sell me the contacts. Yeah. But to to be willfully ignorant and just be like, I wanted to slap him. I wanted to slap him. I wanted to slap him. I'm on the fucking phone with the guy. Finally, I was just like, can you just tell me the brand of the contacts

and he goes, oh, shanloom. I turn him very bad. I'm like, this guy's a fucking idiot and I'm still on my phone. That's not a brand. And then I just, no, it is. But it took me five fucking minutes for him to just answer the question.

And if this is the first time It would have been one thing, but it's the day before where I go all the way over there for no reason because he's a fucking incompetent asshole and I tell the lady when I'm at the appointment today. I'm like this is insane, but I don't know what to tell you about It isn't equivalent of somebody calls a store and is like hey, I'm looking for To get a good price on this book Can you tell me who the suppliers of the book are so I can find I can look up. I didn't ask them for the number to 1-800 context that I have up here. But you're asking them to give me what belongs to me. It's commonplace.

It's very common for you. Because I paid for the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the on the box or your prescription. I don't have a that's what I'm trying to get is the prescription. He didn't fucking write it down because he's in a competent asshole because he's a fool. He should have written down the brand of the context on the prescription. He did not. So when I call Mary Beth should handle these things going forward.

She had to eventually handle it. So is that what it's going to come to at a certain point? Because I mean, I know that she's starting to take over every aspect. Almost everything. It's awesome. Tell us how we're on the way here. Yes, we're on the road. Which? Mmm. I'm sorry to interrupt.

I'm not cutting any of this. I feel like it would be insulting the queue. Does Walt have a pencil mustache and no one has said anything yet? I know it's a bottle. I didn't notice the mustache. Yeah know. I'm just doing it to fucking annoy everybody at home because they hate it. How did they know they hated it? I love it there. I did it all at purpose the last week and then I just was like waiting for them to notice it too and they're like and then now that they say they hate it, I'm not shaving it off. Well, eventually I will. I know there is no way I can keep up for Thanksgiving with family coming over.

What do you mean? Why not? That would be nuclear fucking war. What? Because who's that would be a bomb drop if I fucking came down the stairs. And it's like, and I'm afraid of the family in my pants. You look like this guy. I'm a dying movie star. You look like an old dying movie star. A whole tiny movie star. All the time you movie star? I got golden age.

That's not what the girl said, homestead. Yeah, it sounded more like asshole. That old time movie star. Yeah, but if I greeted the fan, but who's vaporized in this nuke? Like who's like, what the fuck? Just me. No, no, no, no, no.

Who's mind is blown? What do you mean? Everyone's mind is blown if you come down and you have that? Well, I think everybody would be embarrassed if I came down with my pencil thin mustache for Thanksgiving. How do you not knowing how do you not do it on purpose? Because it's just not worth the aftermath, it's not worth the the two seconds. You'll fall out. Yeah, it's like a nooks here.

Yeah, it's just be a horrific Thanksgiving at and what at the end of the day for what come back You'll tell me that let me give you a hand job Tell him Steve Dave I didn't even get to be in an asshole Yes, you did I mean, I know that was the past 54 minutes. What was your being an asshole then? Aren't good to tell you the last part, which was I went to Mecha. Oh, no.

Sorry. I mean, I can't get anything from DoorDash, so I have to eat between them. Oh, you've been banned? No, no, no. I was just saying they keep delivering the wrong shit. Oh yeah, if you were a problem customer, like I would be like,

I would not want to deliver your DoorDash from a problem though. Oh my problem though. The problem is them. I know. But like if you're but if the dealing with you is this level of fucking insanity for the door dish driver, I'd be like fuck this. I'm not going to do this. Everything you paid for. But the most fucking tracksuit though, I got to say that. Do you really think though if that people want to deal with that though? I know you may say like it's... No, they don't.

They definitely won't. If I got that address, I'm like, oh no, I'm not going to that. But see, the door dashers never know about it, because I'm too fucking dumb to check before they leave. So as far as they're concerned, it doesn't matter. Oh, you don't blow up on them. But they are the assholes who bring this shit

in the first place. That guy should have seen, oh, they're probably gonna make a second delivery, not bring me two shakes, only one of which I ordered. Like, you should know you fucked up. So the door dash guy knows what the order is. He doesn't just pick up a number from the, from the, no, he should, he should, he just picked up the order.

He knows what should be in the bag, he knows what should be in the bag, but I don't see them going through it. It's, ultimately, it should be Sonic's fault. So it's his responsibility to make sure that everything is in that bag, the door dash sky. It's not just his responsibility to pick out the bag and deliver to your house. No, I think that is his responsibility. I don't think it's his responsibility for it to be in the bag, but it is his responsibility to make

sure he's given the right fucking order. Like, if I order one shake and then burgers and fries and you bring me two shakes, you're the asshole. How does he know, though? Because there's a fucking ticket that says Johnson and the- And it says what the items are? I should say what the items are, yeah, like a receipt. You know every- I understand, I just thought he was picking up a brown bag and I didn't realize he had to like, you know,

check off everything that you ordered. No, he doesn't have to check it off, he used to make sure he is the right order though. He didn't even bring the right order. I was checking it off though, isn't it? No, I'm not saying root through my shit, fucking be a taste tester and make sure the fries taste good. What are you saying?

Pick up the bag if it says Johnson on it, then bring it to me. If it fucking doesn't, then go the other fucking way. Oh, you didn't order shakes? I ordered one shake and food. He brought no food and two shakes. I don't know who's that fault here. Probably you for not to get into car and just drive in a sonic. At least he did.

At least he did. Refuse to stop until I play this for you. Play what? Oh, you're recording. I went to McDonald's. Yeah. And this one was accidentally recorded. It was just on the dash cam.

So I go to McDonald's and not for me, just for sage. So I'm going to get her what quarter pounder I think I'm pretty clear on burger bun ketchup I'll let you guys decide what you think so I pull up and here's I broke it up just because there's so much waiting in between yeah I need a number two with just the burger and ketchup no cheese nothing like that just burger and ketchup. No cheese, nothing like that. Just burger and ketchup. What kind of drink? Pay attention to that part.

What kind of drink? Coke. Thank you. That's it. What kind of drink? Coke. Ease, nothing like that. Just burger and ketchup.

What kind of drink? Coke. What kind of drink? That's it. Sorry, your total is 84% of the police. Is this me? You? Yes, yes.

So soon. There's a poor sage. Excited for a burger. With just ketchup. I was supposed to say you were mean. It's good. Oh, not too bad. Right?

What? Just one. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm supposed to be. It's good. Ah, why are not you bad? Right? Just why are not you bad? No, it's not.

Why? I'm gonna come, it's fucking far out. God damn, I know it's gonna be better, but... It's a weird temper. What is that? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I Fuckin technology shit man LSD days Imagine trying to bring a flak to burger to your house too. I mean that's fucking hard shit. That's hard to do There's a bound to be mistakes There's gonna be mistakes That's just nice. Oh, it's nice. Oh, yeah, because it's fucking shit. You're all fucking fucking fucking. I was an asshole. Maybe I'll play it next week

Yeah, I need a number two with just the burger and ketchup no cheese nothing like that just burger and ketchup What kind of drink? Coke Thank you. That's it cheese, nothing like that, just burger and ketchup. What kind of drink? Coke? Anything else? That's it. Alright, your telepathy for our first window please. Just me? Yep. Yes!

Yes! Yes! That's me! A supressa union. It's good. Oh, well, not too bad. Right? What?

Just want to not too bad. Nice line is not bad. What? I said this line is not bad, you're right. I have the corner in the area with no people I know on the road, as well. No chief. Nothing else except just ketchup. Want to catch it?

Hold it. That's why when you cut me off, instead of listening to the whole order, I knew this is going to happen. Right? I just heard that. So it's just cheese, perhaps? Or ketchup? Jesus Christ, just ketchup. The kid isn't airy allergy, if you put it on, it's going to be a problem.

Just ketchup. All right, just ketchup. Have a great day. You got to be kidding. I just confirmed three times with this girl back here, nothing but ketchup. OK. Nothing but ketchup. No, no, no, you don't't understand first. She cut me off instead of taking the full order She just has to get to the drink I sat there and said nothing but ketchup. That's it. She's like okay So just she's in ketchup. No nothing but ketchup. I don't know why that's so hard to understand

Can I get any prize too please? I'm gonna be gold. There you go. Have a great day. I watched them make it. It's all the same. Sorry, I just got a, very notification. Thank you. Do you see a funny?

Yeah, I think. You saw it, right? That is not crazy. You saw it, right? That is not crazy.