Tell Em Steve-Dave - #438: Over The Rainbow Bagel

Episode Date: April 5, 2020

Q poses an ethical question, Walt considers cooking in the nude, Bry loses his cool and nothing gets destroyed.

I took an old west town and had a shootout find another 14 year old? There's not flamboyant enough for you. I like it. I like it. I think it's a little bit flamboyant, man. ["The Grille"] Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve Dave. We are still quarantined. We're not face to face.

We can't look lovingly at each other, which is a huge problem for me. What about you guys? Do you miss the grill? Do I miss the what? The grill. My grill. Oh, you're grill. Oh, I didn't realize you were, I was thinking about outdoors barbecue. Yeah, you know, I do. You've been quietly, we too. I haven't really heard from you last couple of days. It's got to be a little worried. No, I'm alright. Just working on stuff and you know. You're right. Social distancing. Social distancing, you know. Right.

Well, that should I think I've gone out twice in the past week. I went to the target once and I don't have enough I would count it. I went to a storage unit. I didn't see anyone. I don't know if he count that as going out. No, not in the important sense of the matter. That would deal with right now, no? Yeah. What about you, Walt? How you doing? How you ferrin? I think I'm better than I was the last time we recorded. I think there's certain stages of

what's going on. I think I'm at a stage now where I'm not as as bad as I was last time. You're at an acceptance? I think so. I think I am. I feel like I came out of a feel pretty funky. Probably. That's the weirdest do is days are just don't matter now. I don't even know what somebody told me what the day was. And I looked at them and I was just like, what? I thought it was Tuesday and it was like Saturday. It was really shocking and it put me kind of, maybe feel bad because I was like, how fucked up is it that we, I don't even know what day it is, but that's what it feels like.

But I do feel like I'm turning the corner a little bit now, where it was last time we spoke, I was, I was not feeling too good. Yeah, I look forward to you embracing not knowing what day it is. That's the next stage. Really? Who does this? I'm not sure. D.E.S. I'm an island time, baby. That's the way I do it. I'm an island time baby. That's the way I do it. Alright, so that's good. That's good to hear. It doesn't have anything to do with you in the lead for who likes Jim Moore. I guess I still watch in the office. We're still devouring the office.

We kind of haven't, I don't think we've done it though in the last two days though, but like we're deep into season two, which is season two is pretty, pretty damn good. And that's maybe the best season as far as characterization and it doesn't kind of get unrealistic. Oh, you're some cats in the back. I know you're here. It's said that a goddamn haunted house.

Benjamin's looking for attention. That's beat. Like with Dexter, like after Trinity Killer, after season three, or like, it's never going to get as good as this again. So like to rewatch it, you know that after season three, you're like, well, fuck it. What's the point? You know? Yeah, because once, isn't it like anti-climactic once Jim, gets Pam. I think they maybe gave they they shouldn't have had them get together as quickly as they did maybe that should have like strung that out a little bit longer. Yeah there's no tension after that we

re I had had seen it before we and Marybeth we just rewatched raising hope and it's the same kind of thing where it's like these two people who like each other, they don't know, they like each other, they work at a grocery store, finally they get together. And once they get together, you do not give a fuck what happens. Yeah, no. Yeah, I wouldn't let something I did realize that. I wish they had made that play out a little bit longer though, the the chase. Yeah, then be more, maybe more shit, Roy throws more shit at mirrors and bars. I like that. You know what I was saying? I figured out why I like what what it is about like I always subconsciously I think it did by time I started out, I always imagined Tom Brady

off the field was Jim Helpert. So like a small condescending dickhead. You and a like if you were like, let's say you don't have any backup, you work at the office and they're just pranking you like you're Dwight Like you know, let me just think I'm gonna be Dwight. Well, you're more of a standoffish guy You're not very social so maybe creed. I mean you gotta take your pick Yeah, they didn't bother to you're not you're not Kevin cuz he's to maybe Stanley You probably be Stanley cuz he's kind of curmud gently and be like oh this bullshit these people I think Jim would I think Jim would get me out of my shell though. I think he would like me and him would just be like

It'd be like bosom buddies I've been trying for 45 years, but this fictional character would be able to do it somehow I know cute told me he's been watching Westerns. Oh I said that he's posting all over. He's like I don't know what everyone so I'm John Wayne's case for. That's the big deal. The dukes are right in my book. the the the the the

the the the Have you ever watched a John Wayne movie? Either one of you guys have ever watched one recently? Not really. Oh, I have it. Yeah, I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did.

I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. I did. It's such a time and place, right? Like if the tough guy cowboy John Wayne type tried to like make a debut today Keep you taken seriously unless you were like a wrestler maybe if that was his wrestling character Episode cute. Have you have you taken a deep dive into Westerns like Well, no, I've been watching all of uh... clenice with

uh... all ones and they are at every single one of them is fucking it is great he doesn't it's not a dot that i've run into so far and i've only seen about six and a if you had to recommend one which one who to you guys i would say you should watch high-point instructor. I think you're seeing it. It's so fucked up that we would have a lot to talk about if we looked at it.

It's the type of over where he's just like a woman like backthaw for a second. So he's directed to a barn and then just rapes her. He's a leader of the movie yeah it's fucking insane and then the ending has like a twist to it that's that's fucking bonkers you want to wrap it for next week wall uh... i think i have a clean use of box that yes if i have it i'll talk here

rock well we watch it have you guys uh... every all anyone wants to talk about is a Tiger King? Did you guys go ahead and watch it? No, I'm afraid right? I'm afraid is there any cat abuse in that? No, I know. I mean, I mean it's like I won't watch the Luke Magnata one the You know fuck with cats or whatever because I know there's some of that stuff in there So I won't watch it in In this one, you don't see anything in terms of abuse. They talk about it in a general sense that like you know it exists, but, uh, and then some specifically, but it's not, uh, it's not, uh, proven or whatever.

It's just like your say type shit. Okay. From one person to another. I don't know if everyone's making such a big deal about it because everyone's locked inside and they're like, what else can we get excited about? Well, everyone else is excited about this Tiger King because I thought it was okay. But as far as, you know, being the... The newest sensation. Yeah. Did you, did you watch it? No, I mean, I've heard some people say,

tell me they really like it in a shell. Tell me he was watching. He said you got to watch it. But, I mean, yeah, I just, I just, I can only watch so much television at this point. And like, I feel it's, it just kind of like, it can give you too much. So I try not to watch that much TV though. Right, and it looks at 70 shit like background stuff. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and yeah,

yeah, you nailed it right there. Yeah, and most of the time when it's TV time almost all 99% of the time, it's background noise for me. and like I can't watch something like that with the demands my attention on that much, you know, over a course of a day Can I have a dd? I got some ads off of it, you're right up Yeah, I mean even I have become tired of fucking TV. I'm like, I don't want to watch anymore.

I just I know that I feel this way. It took a pandemic for me to fucking turn my back on TV. Oh, that's a lot. I hooked up the virtual reality. Helmet fired that up. Went into hung in a like a virtual reality. Helmet fired that up, went into a virtual reality chat room with Jiggy and Joe Virgil. Went on the tech of the Titanic.

That was pretty exciting. I took an old West town and had a shoot out with a 14-year-old kid that we've been hung out with for another hour. So it's been good over here me joe jiggy and uh... this team we're pre-teen named shifling queenie uh... we all have to get

we all have to get a quick quite a few hours was exciting no does he not does shifling queenie know it's cute and practical juggers are you don't tell them doesn't know and does not does not really seem to care at all either. No. Yeah, like he's just doing something. Now how real is the virtual reality?

Is it like something like on a level where I would be like? No. Like I got to take a step back and be like this is so fucking real. I cannot believe it. No, not, no, no. Where you lose your bearings and everything. Well you do lose your bearing. You lose that pretty easily.

Yeah. Because you are, I mean, you're aware that you're wearing the stupid thing on your head. Nothing looks natural. It doesn't, you don't believe you've been transported, but when you take it off, sometimes like you're facing a direction you didn't think you were facing, should look at it. Then did you go, you're walking around or you're just talking to each other,

like you're having a conversation as 3D characters? No, we're running around on the back of the Titanic. You got like your still game, you're like when you control like almost like a first person shooter. How do you ride that? You just go, you just point in the direction. Okay, you don't actually have to walk around your house. No, you could do that like I have to vibe, which is which has the room one where I can walk around the room But you can walk like before you're gonna hit the wall It doesn't really look it's not really good for like open world type stuff That makes sense

Royland when when I was talking to Royland he said that The like sickness like a BR sickness is common like you have to get out of the room after a while because you just feel nauseous and shit does that happen to you? It has happened. It doesn't the beginning but actually the last couple days I was on the mall and I used to it. But after a while you had it, you know you were in the fucking stupid glasses and you were

in all that shit like your head hurts After a while it's like wearing a helmet So you just gotta take it off and get out But it's like everything else right now. I'll take any stupid thing fucking Stractually for two seconds Let me get out of this world into another Yeah, anything anything else Yeah, we were talking about going virtually fishing tonight. We're gonna go fishing together

So all you guys you guys already had these helmets then and yeah, we had it. We had it Virtually fishing huh Well, yeah, but we just got all excited because we just Is the virtual strip club is that any window to find another 14 year old like pH I have have have have

have have man, Jeff Lee. He was fun man. No, is he going fishing with you? No, you know, we didn't really have a really, uh, I'm really follow up with Jeff Lee, we need some things that I guess are better. You know, you know, did you say chef or Jeff? No chef because his avatar Walt is, uh, is a chef. Okay. Well, would you do a different than it was Mike? He's a chef.

And you were in a VR. It was a VR chip and a house. He was a customer. Could you hear their voice? In a sense, they're talking. You're all talking. So I hear his voice. He's clearly a child. So he'd have to be putting out a sense, they're talking, you're all talking. So I hear his voice is clearly a child.

So he'd have to be putting out a voice, which would be... He's for 10, he's for 20. Maybe he works for like Chris Hanson, you know, like to catch a predator. He's trying to lure you into his VR bedroom and shit cue you uh... i know you're a wrestling fan did you watch the royal roe thing uh...

i watched yeah i watched the paper you the last one that rest of the news this weekend come up they still having it. They're still having it. Yeah, but there's no audience Yeah, it's gonna be how's the atmosphere for that With no audience. It's not been good. Oh, that's the one I'm talking about. Have you you've seen wrestling matches with no audience, right? Yes, okay Well, even when we went I thought it was really strange that people paid the most attention when the shit was up on those big screens like highlights and stuff and We're much louder and cheering for that than they were for the actual matches that were going on

Right, you know, yeah, well And they never see go ahead. I'm sorry. This is hard to like yeah It's hard. It's getting you, to try to get it to figure out what to say something. But like, you know, that's the future of sporting events, probably in the next coming year. And like, the NFL is not going to be able to put 100,000 people in a stadium back when the season begins again.

They're going to have to play in front of an empty stadium, which is going to be a very surreal I guess TV and Experience to a game where there's not one bit of crowd noise Yeah, I mean I don't even know I mean who know I mean I guess these two ways you look at it It's like well, he shouldn't do it because it just like what's the point of it. The other point is just like, well, he's stuck in their home and thank him. You know, you know, I don't know. It doesn't feel like, yeah, I mean, it's not, it's just not the same. So why would I watch it? I would kill for some football right now. Oh.

Hmm. You know, like if like football season was now, I don't care if it was part of an empty stadium. As long as like a football game, yeah. Yeah, there aren't any, there aren't, are there any sports going on? And when you think about it, I'm like, there's no sports, right? Which means all the sports betting places are like, oh fuck what do we do? And even the mafia because they take a lot of illegal bets So if there's no sports to bet on these poor mafia guys must be taking

These poor movies Oh my god, it's fucking crazy. Do you know what's good though? We're not nurses and fucking doctors right now who are undoubtedly in hell. With, you know, being on the front lines and being in the hospital and shit like that, like fuck man, like, it's like, all right, I gotta be bored in my house and just chill out for an X amount of time. But I'd rather be doing that and dealing with what they must be dealing with in hospitals right now. It's got to be crazy. Yeah, I was talking to Eric the other day.

I did an interview with him for a for Patreon about the about the Corona stuff. And he said that there's like an expectation that 80 to possibly 100% of people who are helping out now will eventually develop it. You know, at some point they'll get sick. That's those aren't good odds. Don't you think those same odds are for anybody eventually is going to get it through? I mean, if you're coming into contact with people that I mean, I guess it's just way more likely since it's like every person you talk to is

Yeah Would have you gone like do you go to the store anything Walt like do you know the grocery store? Yeah, well, I went the big outing Last week or or was it yesterday? I can't even tell the last week for yesterday What month is it? We are like let's go we want Chick-fil-A we want Chick-fil-A. We want Chick-fil-A. So it's like, all right, so we got to go through a drive-through. So the nearest Chick-fil-A isn't freehold, which is like 40-minute drive. So I was like, who cares? Let's go. Like, I'm up for that drive. Let's do it.

What else are we doing? Oh my come on speed. Yeah, yeah, I'll drive there. And so we drive there and then the realization, as we pulled into the big parking lot where the Chick-fil-A is, is that not only did we have that idea, but about a thousand people have that idea, as it was an hour and fifty minute wait. Oh my god. To get to the Chick-fil-A window. Oh my god. And you're already there, so it's like... You don't turn around, you just wait.

Yeah. Oh my God. That was, if that killed about three hours, that Chick-fil-A trip. Yeah, because you can't even go to the one in the mall. No. I've noticed that, you know, we get door to ash here and there that they found an all new way to be incompetent and that's if you put in the notes like just leave the food at the door for some reason they're incapable of reading that fucking note and they just need to interact with you. It's like mother fuckers. You put it sign on your door too. Yeah, yeah, I should yeah after the second person

I'm just like for Christ's sake like I want to yell at him through the window But I'm always terrified that they're gonna be like oh big former fucking TV fucking dickhead makes He's hot shit like in the event that someone's like oh he was on TV a hundred years ago And he still thinks he's hot stuff You know, but it's like no and I just don't like there's no reason for us to interact. The tip's been taken care of just, you know, a cough, but they won't, they just won't, they won't do it. What do you've been eating, Q? Staying at home, cooking?

Yeah, I've been cooking a lot, actually a lot of trying to, trying to not eat so bad, you know. But I've been cooking I've really been ordering it all. I just made some pasta with pesto for lunch today. What are you? What about you? Like you guys ate out like all the time. So yeah, I've been doing all pasta action, you guys have just eaten pasta constantly yeah so you're the one who cleared the shells of the pasta

well it's unbelievable like how cheap pasta is right oh yeah it's crazy like a whole box and you can eat it for like three days in a row, four days in a row, that's the one box. Well I was wondering it like say it's like I don't know maybe nine o'clock so everybody's still awake at your place. White van pulls up a couple guys get out they have like the whole white get up the CDC type shit. Right. and they start banging on your door. Do you answer the door? Yes. You would answer the door. Well, I would at least yell through the door like what do you want? And they're like where we need to speak to every occupant of the house.

Why? And then like as you say why somebody's banging on the back door like your slider. Why? And then like as you say why somebody's banging on the back door like your slider Yet out there holding up badges. It's the whole thing right Do you eventually let them in I would have to think it was pretty Desperate times for it to have them at the front and the back door. I would be like well Yeah, we'll find out what the hell they want So they come in and it's like and the back door, I would feel like, well, fuck yeah, we'll find out what the hell they want for me. Right. So they come in and it's like,

and then one of the guys pulls his hat off is his whole helmet and it's me and I'm like, prank superstar. Is that upsetting to you? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm like, I don't know. I feel like I was talking to Mary both about it. I was like, I feel like it's unforgivable in this environment. Yeah, there's a new bar. There's a new bar for what's forgivable now. What's not forgivable now. It was not forgivable. Okay, kids and wife are terrified. Do we have a dad just said we weren't going to get it. I bet you we got it from Chick-fil-A.

So who'd you wrangle to get to the front door and the back door though? Well, you know, I've enlisted Mary Beth because what you're going to do is say no. I can't say. Yeah. Oh my god, they've got to dwarf with them. For pulling in anyone to help them. It would be kind of like a relief at the end though after that burst of adrenaline. Like really I should be thanked because you're like, oh my god, I am alive, you know.

Just. Well, to be honest, I would have thought that maybe the CDC had heard Tellm Steve Dave and knew that I was one of the early potential survivors and maybe they're coming for my antibody. They're looking for some serum and shit. Yeah. Yeah, that would make sense. So the head of the CDC, weird sense of humor that he has. He's hurting off hand comments.

He's really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, the good part. And you're going to get your airlines because you don't have your airlines, you know, what are you going to do? You got to keep the country moving. But people had asked for it like, like, like, stub hub. Is there? Oh, tickets, tickets for me for like concerts. Scalpers, yeah, scalpers.

And it like the balls on you guys. You mother fuckers. Like that is crazy. How do you ask for that? Like with the with the the the fees that you charge and as much as you let people resell them before, it's crazy. You have some big knots right there. Yeah, I looked for a sage is real into Taylor Swift.

And I mean, I guess I'm not sure if it would have been cancelled or not. So I can't remember when it was but Taylor Swift the Massachusetts and like I'm talking about seats that were not that great like 1100 bucks For one seat and then you have all your stuff at the so that's added on another hundred or so And it's like no News gonna have to listen to the you know I mean you're lucky I pay for Amazon Prime Music so I forget that other shit that's crazy. Do you have any tickets CreeCue for something coming up that

you're like oh man I'm gonna miss it. I just happened that Pee Pee's playhouse on Broadway. He's doing like the whole thing I had to get to that last week back I got canceled. You know I got my usual rounds of hair metal bullshit. Well that must make it feel good that you're gonna miss that. No man. No. You know what I pay to be the pay for it and I'll get like 500 bucks a week. I mean you've paid into it for how long? I mean look. I think you know the answer. You wouldn't be asking the question. You know the answer. You know I don't actually know.

Why you need to hear the loud. It's not shameful enough to even consider it for a moment in your own mind. I think you should be allowed to apply if you'd literally go to the office with your hat in your hand. I mean, who would know though? Really who would know? I mean, aside from everyone else. No one would know.

Absolutely no one would know. I don't know, because I don't think it's coming back until at least May now. Oh, yeah, that's what somebody just said. Like all of April is pretty much burned now. I thought they said. I think it's another month. Virginia is on hold until it put us in. You're in shelter place.

Well, June 10th. It's insanity. They said shelter in place? Yeah. So you can't leave your house. It's in my God's tent, dude. I think I would rather be sick than sit in a house till June 10th.

Yeah, if you go out and get corona, at least you can go to the hospital and see some new people. But I guess it's like you can go out to the grocery store whatever, but if it's like, oh, I'm going to go out and shoot some hoops. They're like, oh, no, you're not. No, I think when we come back to when they finally listed, I believe it's going to be masks are mandatory for and

for everybody i believe it's gonna look like uh... china where you know a mask is a common thing a site to see i believe that is going to be you don't care about her is anymore we care about the corona i think it's gonna be a real i don't mean if you have a mask and you can put a scarf on or something but you're going to they're going to want uh... those is a mouse, at least, you know,

for a little while when everything opens up. Because you're right, it's not like somebody's gonna be like, all right, it's all gone, and then we can celebrate and go out and like no one will have it. Yeah, you have to imagine, it's like, it's now safe because there's so few cases relative to what there were that we don't have to worry It's like it's now safe because there's so few cases Relative to what they're where that we don't have to worry about becoming overwhelmed anymore

right, but they're gonna want some sort of like some safety there To help prevent it and I mean I just read it today I mean it's coming down online, but there's no mask so maybe this whole thing is just fucking to get ahead of all the masks we're going to need. Right. Good. Bay. They may custom masks too, you know, not just the little disposable ones. I got the sweetest fucking Tom Steve Dave scarf that I'm going to be wearing around forever. Oh, yeah, I have that too. They get easier. 99 degree weather in July.

But you know what, if anyone can do it, I think it's you. I've seen you in sweatshirts in that kind of weather. Yeah, I don't know. I've also read that the masks don't do that much if anything in terms of like breathing and spreading it around and shit. It's mostly that's ridiculous.

Of course it does. Well, not if the thing is too small, right? If the virus is so small that it doesn't contain it, I think it's like more like, let's say you touch something, then you don't inadvertently touch your mouth or your nose or something. But the very fact that they're like, you don't need masks, you don't need masked people, we need them for doctors.

I mean, well, that says it right there, but they need it. So obviously it must help. It has to help. There's not that that was just like that was just some bullshit they put out there. So nobody fucking hoarded all the masks. Yeah, well, they said it a little late. Yeah. Well, I mean, this guy's saying it's not a guarantee against infection. Right. But if it's any preventative thing, unless it's completely ridiculous kind of thing, like why not?

Yeah, if it stops you because you know, you touched somebody who had it and then you would have touched your nose, your mouth and then you didn't fuck it then. But I mean, how long you will in the wear that shit around for? Oh, I don't think you're gonna have a choice. I think you're gonna have to wear it. If you don't wear it, you're going to be given a fine or something.

I believe it's headed that way. Yeah, they have to. If you're going to open an up thing, we're going to have to make some, what's the called, concessions. The public and one of those is going to be you, if you're out, and especially if you're out and you're doing business, if you're going to open up America again, got to wear a mask. Well, I guess they've

heard of what you say. I'll wear it right now man. I'll wear it. I'll sleep with it on. I don't care. Well if they're like hey you know you're going to shelter in place and if you want to go out this is what you got to do. Yeah it doesn't seem that much to ask of someone but you know what? It is a lot to ask of people because people cannot. I've never seen people more interested in shooting baskets or riding their bikes or any of this other active shit that you never see anyone do otherwise. Now they just can't wait to do it. You know, now they've got to play basketball. Because there's nothing else to do. I mean, all the other options are off the table. Sit and wait, just like everybody else. Go out there. The patient, god damn it. Do you think all this indoor time is driving people to their more

primal state? Like people are banging more and stuff? Have you seen an uptick wall? Have you seen an uptick wall? No, no. I mean, because I, like I said, I mean, up until recently, I was pretty, um, deflated and pretty, uh, flatlined. I was, I was, I was, I was pretty bad. I was not really, uh, my mind was anywhere but here. I was, I was probably my most low estate. I can remember in quite some time.

And I'm early recently. Just just time, just a realization that like you can't do anything about it. So why sit here just thinking about it over and over and over and over again. Right. It's just nothing to do. Yeah, so I and it wasn't like I made the decision was like boom That's it. It took time and slowly but it came out of that funk, but Even like even when they announced that it was extending like I Didn't like in my gut. I knew they were gonna extend it anyway So it really didn't deflate me as much as I thought it was going to deflate me.

No, I know it was coming. Great. Way to go. Have you been walking around in your meundies? Yeah, I didn't. Oh, yeah, we got a couple. Why would you need an meundie? Why would you need an meundie membership? A membership with meundies is full of perks like site-wide savings early access for you shipping a new ridiculously soft undies delivered to your door each month and you can build your collection there. We got some personal anecdotes here hey you

know what today I had a very old pair of me undies and sage wanted to play abug and Kat Noir. It's this kid's show. Cartoon. So she has a Ladybug outfit. I'm all in black, Kat Noir. And we didn't have our masks. We needed some like domino masks. So cut up an old black pair of meandies. Use it as a mask.

Where in your face? Yeah. What am I going to do? It's desperate times. Although Michael's isn't open. I can't go get this domino mask So I'm like, say, put my dirty underwear on your face I want to show you any other article of clothes other than underwear that would wear my face

But did we have that like that high-end shirts those those shirts those Tucked shirts for like a second. We had that in I would have cut up that shirt Before I cut up a pair on the wearer and wear and like my, I can't keep my hands still and shit. I'm like, oh, I'm old. Do you think it's H? I don and shit. I'm like oh I'm old I don't know. It's probably that plus the outer all shakes plus low blood sugar because I don't eat whatever I don't know but I cannot keep still That's a lethal combination for steady hands But here's a thing they're very soft and that's because they're made of micromodal

They're designed to be the softest thing. You've ever put on your body and offered in a range of sizes extra small to 4x out. And they don't just make undies, they have lounge wear. I've been lounging around lately and some of you undies lounge wear. And you can check that out and wear it in and out of the house. Well, try to wear it in the house. I'm not a crazy about people who wear pajamas and underwear outside the house. Yeah, what's up with that shit?

I know, come on. It's not your kitchen, it's not your breakfast look. Everyone else has to look at you. Mian Di's has a great offer for listeners for any first time purchasers. You get 15% off and free shipping. And it's a no-brainer because they have 100% ah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, they have a 100%

satisfaction guarantee. So to get your 15 to get 15% off the first order, free shipping, 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to meundies.com slash T-E-S-D, that's meundies.com slash T-E-S-D. The primal stuff I was asking, I saw that that Q do you follow MMA or just wrestling? Mostly wrestling. I'm aware of MMA but I'm not really one of the guys that liked it. There's nothing in buoyant enough for you. I like it. I like things a little bit flamboyant man. You like the storylines right? There's no storylines in MMA.

I don't really like people getting Watching people get to shake it down. I mean real I had to be the the the initial though draw to wrestling was that you thought it was real though, right? So you thought it was they were really getting to shake that right? Well, I mean I was like There's a Page Van Sant and Austin Vander Ford. I'm not sure. I don't know a lot about UFC type stuff, but they've started an Instagram thing where they they've been cooking naked and working out naked, but like not, you don't really see everything, but you know, like she's in a, um, an apron or something,

you know, and he's holding things in front of him strategically. Is that all right? Is that something either you guys may consider? I mean, they had a lot of likes on that page. Yeah. You know, like just an apron, Q. If you're just cooking in an apron, you know a lot of IJ fan girls would go wild. Dude, I don't think you'd be seeing that for me anytime soon. No, I didn't see that. No, you know what? I don't really, and nothing against anybody that is doing it, but I'm really struggling with trying to get attention or trying to get people

to notice things that I'm doing now. And I'm not saying like, a lot of people are doing shit just to make people give people something to watch and shit like that, but I don't know. I haven't a real difficulty. Like I was supposed to watch that radio show that I was supposed to do for the beer company this week and I'm like, I don't really want to put it out now because I don't want to, I don't know, it just feels cheesy. Yeah, I definitely have to hear what you're saying. But I think people need the trivial more than ever now.

I know that's the argument, I guess. If're trying to get us, like, we keep getting offers to do, like, television shows from home. Type stuff. And I just keep turning them down because I'm just like, I don't know, man, I... Can I be naked? I don't want to put on an apron and fucking stand after that. I can't go naked. It just doesn't feel fun yet, you know what I mean? And it's like, so then what am I doing before?

Like why would I do it? Right. You know, I don't know, man, I'm really bummed out. So now I got into it. Yeah, but I don't blame other people. Everybody processes things. They're all working on me. If I had an MMA body, yes.

Then you do it. If I have a comic book, my body. No. No. Yes, they need to do it. I have a comic book man. Yeah, it does it does seem to you know I'm looking at the picture and I I feel like I don't look like this guy and have never looked like this guy. I was like what that's your go-to when you're when you're going to when you're when you're when you're that chisel like I gotta get I gotta get everybody see how I'm like how every day to find muscles. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. People are dying I should take this shirt off right? Mm-hmm. But it's funny because he also has flour on his face because he's cooking with his girl. You know you know how well to cook with your girl you have flour all over your face. Yeah. But what does this have? A hundred and thirty seven thousand likes. I don't know if likes makes you money probably, right?

Should I go for it? Try to raise a little bit more, try to draw a little bit more attention to tell them Steve Dave and just do some naked cooking. Like I'll have like a cooking accident. I'll stage it. I'll have like a cooking accident. I'll stage it. So I Like I get I constantly get like some some how I always find a way to get some hot liquid on my groin Bachelors in the Yeah, I'm like five follow my final days as I die from not corona but bachelorism from bad peaches man dies from bad peaches no one cares 5,000 more cases of coronavirus

I've been doing uh, our sage has been doing this thing called Called a Google hangout Yeah, like the school they've started to do like I guess every couple days they'll do like do you know Google hangout is Walt? I imagine like a like a virtual place where people are all the kids hang out at.M. Yeah, it's like a streaming thing and there's the teacher she's in. Yeah, exactly. It's the teacher. She's in the main window and then on the sidebar you have different students. And like I guess whenever they talk, they appear in the center square. So what you have is like, I mean, how many kids are in that class? Seven or eight, you think, Mary Beth is in here.

Oh, 12 kids. And so you have all these special needs kids who are like, as soon as it goes on, they're waving at each other and going crazy. But they all have like, tics and shit. Like, you know, sage is constant. Like she doesn't realize it. I'll be like, see, like if she gets over the excited, she'll like, huh, like she'll make this noise. So then her making that noise would light up, like, would make her in the center square. But then

when you have 11 other special needs kids with ticks and I'll talk it at the same time, I'm looking at the screen like, how do they do it? Like, I'm about to have a fucking seizure. Like, I'm watching like Pokemon on TV or some shit. I'm looking at the screen like how do they do it? Like I'm about to have a fucking seizure like I'm watching like Pokemon on TV or some shit. I'm like I don't know how they get anything done but I don't know. It seems to work. Mary Beth is here. She has a she has a Johnson household update because I think we're doing pretty well. To me, to me, as you're like, Is there a grise on? Yeah, there you go.

Just lean into it. So, if you guys have any questions about what it's like to be locked up, basically sheltered in place, because I don't go anywhere. I don't think Sage has been out of the house in like three weeks. Like, she doesn't want to go anywhere, she doesn't care. Right. And Mary Beth goes to the grocery store mostly.

So that's what we're looking at here. Do you have anything interesting to report? Mary Beth? Well, it has been going pretty well, I'd say. There's only been a couple threats of killing and that is Brian threatening to kill Princess Mitch. Q. Do you threaten to kill your cat sometimes? Not once ever.

Have I threatened to kill? I'm just going to cut that out. I'm going to plug in a yes from somewhere else. But what if one of your cats shit all over your paperwork for no reason? They do it constantly. How does it make your cats not trained to go to an litter box? No, they are and have been. What?

She's trained, but when you leave stuff by the litter box, then she gets afraid of it. Well, Brian, why are you writing down that litter box? No, no, no. You would, I would think there'd be the last place you'd be like, I'll get a set up down here. No, no. The papers are downstairs. It's a small house. Yeah, you've been in it.

It's not big. No, no, no, the litter box is upstairs, but the thing she's referring to is I fucking dared put a shampoo bottle on top of the litter box. So the cat's like, oh, that's different and weird. I have to go fucking shit on his paperwork now. It's like, I don't understand the mentality of a fucking animal that does that kind of thing. So I got frustrated because I needed those papers. So yeah, of course I'm going to flip out ruined the deal. He's like, put some of an asshole puts a shampoo bottle on another man's toilet. Yeah, I got to say.

And then papers where he knows I'm gonna see him and probably take a shit Yeah, and then this is the expectation is that I'm grateful You were describing our current situation that you were describing our current situation. Oh, that's me. No, no, I meant like the whole of America you got my balls. I mean, I guess I could have been right. Yeah, wow. poetic.

So one thread of killing, that's not bad. It wasn't even a human. But Princess Witch has been the source of the tension I guess I even cleaned up the catch it and then Brian decided to clean up the entire living room blocking the entire downstairs really. My my response to her shitting on the floor was tearing the entire living room up moving moving everything out, sterilizing and backing and what's the Bissell fucking, let me tell you something, don't fucking buy this, a Bissell two time, it's the pet one, the two times something or other pet one, heat, pet steam cleaner, what

a piece of shit, it's like you fucking go to like do the steam cleaning and the water comes out but it doesn't suck it back up. I put like four fucking gallons of water on the floor and like one cup of water comes up so now I gotta put fucking put fans on the rug for the next 24 hours. That's what I got to deal with because this cat shits all over the place. Because a shampoo bottle. Well let me ask you something if Debbie happened to place a shampoo bottle. Well, let me ask you something. If Debbie happened to place a shampoo bottle on the toilet tank, would you then go and shit on her paperwork? No, but if Cooper had an accident though, I mean, he would just always do his just look

at me and I would just be like, oh, that's the cutest piece of pile of door crap I've ever seen. Let's take a picture of it before we clean it up. Lily's Frenchie hasn't has a new picture of, finally. I think that's pretty good though, for a week, especially like locked up and stuff, you know. I didn't kill her. I was going to keep it tallally of all the stuff you destroyed, but I mean, the list is empty. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I didn't destroy anything. I think my medications work in a little bit. Yeah, that's good, no. Uh, uh, I don't know if you want that medication to work too much for you, Jay, because it sounds like Mary Beth is into this sort of behavior. Oh, she likes the edge. The unpredictability.

Hey, so. That's what I'm picking up from our tone right now like she sounded like She doesn't sound very disapproving Yeah, I know she's probably scooping shit out of the litter box and then putting it on rooms like putting it in rooms. She wants clean That's not bad though anything else. That's not bad though. Anything else that's it? No. No. No. Speaking of shit, sage always eats a egg sandwich in the morning. I don't like where this is going. It's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna, it's good. Sage, no! Hahaha. Hahaha. I forgot.

Hahaha. No, she always needs an egg sandwich, and since the grocery store has been low on bagels, I saw that they had a few rainbow bagels, so I thought I would be the best, bestie ever in Got Sage a rainbow bagel, which I thought she would love. There's some multicolored bagels, like food dye in it. Just pretty. And so I got one for her and she loved it. She ate the sandwich.

And then she came. She didn't. Hold on, let me. Oh, I know where this is going. Where's the other color bagel? This is not a tree, I imagine. As much as like it tickled the eyes, probably not the stomach in the intestines.

Oh no, the stomach wasn't too bad, but she was mad afterwards. So I was like, and it's frantic. It was like, Dada, my poop is green. But mad. Oh yeah,

and then it was as if I had tricked her her like I did it to her on purpose. Because you're like, oh, I think it's probably the the the the the big old. And then she's like, was it now? Like not, not in those words, but like now, then she had, yeah, she had her eye out. Um, it's, uh, I've been around her for so long that, uh, it doesn't really occur to me when she's making noise and shit anymore, Sage. It seems to still occur to Mary Beth. Oh my God. And she's not quite about it either. She's like downstairs screaming making noises playing constantly Constantly I have this I have this recording that I For you guys this is sage downstairs by herself word

Okay, it should be too early second damn Benjamin He wants attention. Yeah, he's having a rough week. Well, they said they said that pets are ready for people to go back to work now. They've had enough. They were happy at first, but now they probably are stressed that the humans are home so much now. Yeah, I've seen evidence around here. The cats have started to act a little weird.

But, well, Ben, you even had a seizure the other night, which he's never had before. Really? Oh, it was like the scariest fucking thing, then. Like, he just, it was exactly what you think, like, humans when they have fucking hom homing mouth seizures and they all tighten up and shit. It was that for the cat. It's like so scary. What brings that on? Well he's old now. He's 16 so it's like a degenerate thing where they can get one and they can never get it again. But they can do it like a very few months and stuff like that. But I to my bad these like a sign aside from the sign of him getting older He's like you know, he's like a fat serious until less it starts happening

Like frequently and over and over again Everything calms down and shit there actually cat neurologist I found out I'm gonna go talk to one About it, but oh dude. I was like I was watching a flop on the floor And I got down I was holding them and I was like, I was watching them flop on the floor and I got down. I was holding them and I was just trying to like, stroke his, you know, make them feel better while they was going through it. And I was like, I was like, so heartbroken. I was like, he's dying, he's going to die. Did you know what it was? I mean, I knew what a seat, yeah, I've seen seizures before from when I was in the fire department when you used to go to call the stuff. But I knew what it was.

I just didn't know if it was going to kill him or not. Yeah, so it was really, really bad, man. It was bad. And then he came out and you could tell he didn't know where he was. And he couldn't use his back legs, like his back legs weren't working. And then within two minutes, his, he had a shaky back legs and his eyes were starting to like, blows up a little bit.

And then 20 minutes later, it was like, it never happened. It's great. Yeah. It was really nuts. So I've been having a great week. Paman Edgar's last dog, she used to have seizures and the vet prescribed this suppository that like if the dog had a seizure they had to jam it up, it's button like she would come out of it in a few minutes. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's got to be a two person procedure right, right? Because if the cats are for the August flopping all around you need someone to hold the butt still, right?

There you have to do golf, kill. I would do it. I mean, I would do anything you need us. Well, yeah, a cat I would think would be easier. Not only because it's smaller, but like if you have a big like great game smaller, but like, like, if you have a big, like, great team, could you imagine, like, like, trying, trying to get the medicine where it has to go while it's, while it's convulsing? Yeah, that would probably not be great. That's like, um, like calling shotgun, right?

Your dog is a teacher and it's you and your wife, you're like, basically shotgun is equivalent to I'm holding your gem in it. Well, I would definitely be like, I would be like, I would hold the button that I want to put it. Even I probably got this that year of the hands. Yeah, I probably would, I probably would be like, let me, you do that part. That's just like, I mean, that's too straight. I can't do it.

Exactly. It's too homoerotic. That's just like I mean two straight. I can't do it exactly I've been locked up that long So so Mary Beth has some of this rambling uh I don't want to play. And that's from upstairs. That's from upstairs and she's downstairs. I'm not sure if you caught it, but she was mad that someone had taken her haunted doll and is that what it sounded like? No. No, what was it? I'm the boss.

That I heard. Something in my house. She was mad that a haunted doll was taken from her house. Oh, okay. But she's having an imaginary argument with someone. Right. No, if I do that. Dick.

I'm the. So. Do you remember a bright shanique? Oh, yeah. Isn't it, isn't it, isn't it, eerie? How, now that girl, that little girl had, I would think the same thing, right? She a down syndrome.

Yep. We're saying the exact thing, you say, right? Yep. And that little girl would come to the community center and she would, I mean, she would do that. I mean, it's eerily similar and sounds exactly the same of where they go to wherever they're going. And they just have these conversations.

She would play school, remember? She would play school for hours. And the library would be always be yelling at the kids over here, the imaginary kids. She was always mad at the imaginary kids that were like, whatever she was playing with. I mean, it sounds so similar to that. And sage is very dramatic like Shadeek was. Like, I say, like whatever Shadeek came to the beach, I saved her four to five times from drowning, you know, quote unquote. But you're right. Yeah, she would go on and on and on and not stop. And that's the way sage is. It's like, it's gotta be something like that is, I guess, pretty commonplace.

Yeah, I think so, but she gets real like worked up at times where like, I mean, she's shouting to a point where I go to the room and I'm like, calm down. Well, she is a Johnson. Yeah, that's true. What do you do? I got your back. Let's get him. Let's break a goddamn door down the warm up.

I'm not lying. I'm sorry. The fun line remains true. So, do you feel you're used to it yet? Or are you still? No. No. Like, I don't really hear it anymore. Unless it's like, it's real loud. I don't really hear it anymore. So do you feel you're used to it yet? Or are you still? No. No.

Like, I don't really hear it anymore. Unless it's like it's real loud. I don't really hear it anymore. It's constant. It's constant. Yeah. Yeah, she never stops. No matter when she gets up or when she goes to bed.

Unless she's supposed to be sleeping. And then she knows to be quiet. Yeah. You know what I've been doing, man? Tending to my balls, making sure they're smooth as glass. Oh Yeah, oh yeah using the The the only razor that tell them Steve Dave would use the persona

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Come here. Really? How old? I mean, it's in America. balls like glass? Come here. Really? How old are you? This is America. It was like $220. What was it? 1975. So it was $225.

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We need to talk to you. Bulk, you buy and bulk. That's the way you make savings. I remember I saw a walled outside Costco that time, preaching to the choir. Yeah. Everybody about bulk savings. When you're a fireman, and you went into a place

that had burned or whatever, and you saw like, like when Gidams Place went up, he didn't really have a firebox right that's why his money burned up or he had a firebox that was not that good. It was like a firebox but there was nothing of value kept in the firebox. Right, his money he kept out of the firebox for some reason. Which is strange that he had a firebox but chose not to keep the most valuable things he had in it. Oh yeah, yeah, fuck.

That would that would that would make me question the 148. Oh, that is the other thing. Okay, let me keep my my bubblegum wrappers and my and my trinkets or whatever, but let me keep my money underneath the couch. Yeah, I mean, I love the guy, but you know, yeah, when you win, I don't know how he's holding up. Oh my god, I haven't really talked to him. No, just a few techs here and there. I know he's been going into the store to like clean up. He and Mike go in there to straighten it up and shit or something. But when you went in there and you saw fire like if you saw somebody with like a lame

fire box versus a really good one would you judge them? Like would you be like a stupid ass you should have just paid a little extra. No not really. I don't think we would have really seen that much. No. Like usually shit like that. Did you see the inside of Kiddem's house? I mean, it's just black and mushy.

Oh, really? Before or after the fire. Yeah. Yeah. It's a serious black mold problem. Yeah. He had a 148 intellect. Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I never really judged two harshly people's houses when they got burnt.

No, you weren't like that. Is this a question? No, no, really. I asked, ask a fire, a former fireman, a stupid question, no. Yeah, please. fireman a stupid question now please if there's and if there's a box that can protect from fire why don't they just build the walls out of that box you could build a fireplace you don't need the box you can just make the walls out of

the center that would be it's a good one does though sure of course they do well i think the one that's the foundation i think the entire house the frames are so i mean the frames are way too with frame houses would frame houses are would frame houses but there are i mean look at project in shitton and hatton

that those are what those are all syndicates also they can never burn down net net in fact when what the old ones out on a governor's island before they tore them down, we would put bells and hay in the actual rooms and shit light them up and drill in there. It's shit inside the walls. It's not even the couch. It's not even the you know it's the couch. It's the Christmas tree. It's the, yeah, so that's it.

Did you know what frame had the wall, the wall, the wall for Berk too. Obviously. Do you ever see anything cool when you went into a like a not cool, but like, oh man, that sucks that that got burned up for this person. Oh, yeah, we had a fire once for this guy. I had a sports memorabilia collection. But like one of those ones where he just went overboard,

you know what I mean? But probably something Jeff did would accomplish. And it was like, he lost it all. And it was just, it was all, you could just tell it was all expensive shit, like old shit, signed shit. It was pretty, pretty, pretty hard for a guy human to see and the guy was pretty upset too. I just have this visual of him standing in the yard holding a signed baseball and like he wanted to cry. You're on your way out both of you guys with something that's not living.

You know, like your cats already out, your dogs already out, your kids and wife already out, everybody's fine. But you're going to go for that one item. What is it that you run back for? I mean, probably my laptop off the top of my head. Wow, but take it aside, but like I'm practicing and thing like that. I wonder what I have in here that's like my grandparents or something like that. I don't know. That's just a question. I jokers through his four memorabilia.

I kick over my grandfather's war medals to get a joke. I'm a poster. What about you? What do you got a lot of stuff? Yeah. How do you make a decision? It would be impossible to make that decision. I would just grab whatever you're making the decision.

The whole place collapses on you. Yeah. Why are you why are you presenting this this choice to us? Is this a no, that that just came up, but I have an awesome firebox and Mary Beth sucks. So I was just wondering. Her firebox has a very low rating. Like it could only last in a fire for like, what an hour and a half or something. How can we see what is not allowed to share your fire box? But she could have but her, she had hers first. What are you talking about?

What are you giving me that look for? You know, it's true. My fire box could like, Satan himself could own it. That's how long it could be in fire. The fire box was your old fire box, not mine. Oh, that was my fire. Firebox was your old firebox not mine. Oh that was my fire. Well that's on you then to take a head me down firebox. See I've learned and mine's different. Mine's great. Isn't it crazy that they sell shitty fireboxes though? Like shouldn't all fireboxes be up to a certain like you know the fireproof or should be ones that are better than others?

Yeah, the same. Yeah, I guess if you want to pay more, well, they're like, if my house burns, I mean, is it really going to burn for more than two hours? Probably not, so maybe that's why. And then it's like, then it's like, you know, the next level is like waterproof. Do you want to make sure that, you know, when you and his fucking hose happy buddies come in and spray all your possessions down? You know, you know, I can't fucking spam. Oh, oh, oh, oh my God, I got his fucking football wet. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Mickey Mantle card. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Do you see that shit disintegrate? Ha ha ha ha ha.

That's how I like the thing that you put out firescube. Ha ha ha ha. I mean, they have been trying. The sociopathic joy. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. So what do you have planned for the next day? Do you plan anything now? What do you do structure your day? Because I think that's what bothers some people. It's not that they're home and sheltered or whatever the fuck it's like.

A lot of people need and like structure. So maybe that's like a thing, you know. I think that's a big factor for a lot of people, myself included, that that's why it was so difficult, initially, but yeah, I think that I think that guy, like, I'm like, I think he needs that structure too. I think it was, I think it was hard. That's why he continues to go to the store and just like just chill out in there. That and the fact that he's living with somebody that, um, you know, it's awkward.

Yeah, well, it's just awkward to you know, he's still, he's still not on his own yet. He's living with a friend who took him in after the fire. So it's like, do you want to spend every waking moment with them until this is over? So obviously, I understand totally why he's like, I'm just going to hang out at the store. Like I'm going to work as usual. Yeah. Right. Like how in Don't the Dead all the zombies went back to the mall. Yeah. People really want to just sort of carry on what their usual behavior because they don't know anything else And nobody wants to talk about anything other than corona. It's like it's only been a month like what was everyone talking about before that shit It's like it's the biggest story of our lifetime, I think oh no, no, I get it

I get it, but it just seems like nothing else is happening and maybe it isn't Yeah, I mean I hear you have see people are cooking naked. That's something. Yeah, maybe we do need more of that shit after all. I think so. I think that a lot of the, like the cam girls and that sort of thing, you know, like online stuff is picked up because nobody can go to their regular escorts,

maybe. So they, yeah, I think so. Like some of my employees that that worked for me, obviously, had the first side of money. I can't even get it out. If you were to say, obviously, it was the first side of financial distress. I cut them all loose. I think I'm going to get them the best I can do is subscribe if you become a You know, send me a link. Any other message? I'll post it.

Yeah. Q25. Q25. Silence, Steve Dave.