Tell Em Steve-Dave - #444: Four Colors For Life

Episode Date: May 24, 2020

Bry, Walt, and Q celebrate this demonic episode by talking frenzied Frenchies and piss boners.

Fuckin' Mr. Joe, fuckin' big moneybags, Rogan. What kind of monster trains a French ball dog to fight? You'll wake up with piss bones? I do. I do wake up with piss boners. I do. I do wake up with piss boners. Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave. I'm here with Q and I'm here with Walt and I believe uh, pretty soon we're gonna be going to Spotify. We have a hundred million dollar deal just like Joe Rogan Have you hear that? No, what's going on? Joe Rogan went to Spotify and it appears to be a hundred million dollar deal That's a lot of Millions it's a hundred of them For him man, what does he talk about?

He talks about he talks to some extremely interesting people He's a very interesting guy himself. He's not like us. He's like man's man, like something needs to be fixed or an elk needs to be killed and dressed. Yeah, I've done this quarantine. I've actually done some fucking DIY. Oh, really?

I thought you were gonna go back to that S-hook on your pool from years ago. Go ahead. Go ahead. You have done some DIY in that in this downtime. But so like, he just talks. Well, there's video, but I mean, he talks to guys like Elon Musk or... Does he pay them to come on?

I don't think so. So when does $100 million so that people that come on, they don't, they don't, he doesn't throw them a little something for coming on because he's helping them. I mean, they're helping him garner this kind of... I don't think Musk needs the money. No, Elon Musk doesn't throw him a little something for coming on because he's helping them. I mean, they're helping him garner this kind of... I don't think Musk needs the money. No, Elon Musk doesn't need the money. I mean, some people may need the money, but I think at this point, it's an honor to be on Rogan.

Really? Jordan asked if he wanted me to come on. He's like, fuck, no. This was a couple of years ago. I was still on TV and he still didn't care. Really? He said that? Yeah, well, I don't know if I don't think he said fuck you. Oh, but I mean, he may as well have.

And on top of it, I wore one of his podcast t-shirts on the TV show. I'm on the top of my name everywhere. I can respect it though, though, because he's like, thanks for wearing the shirt, but you're still not interesting enough to be, he doesn't have to be the fuck I am. He's saying, like, you can't just throw on a t-shirt

and then that should take it on to the show. Right. And it shouldn't be. But we almost beat him for a best podcast though. Imagine that. Look at that route. Us not winning that fucking award six years ago. Why we're sitting still at a poker table and he's fucking burn $1,000 bills on a $100 million contract. Yeah, there's just too much. I don't know what to do with it all. It's kind of burning it up. It's a whole trajectory. The different routes, two different podcasts took. Yeah. I mean, is it the most listened to podcasts?

Like, is it just... It's up there. I think it has to be. Really? I mean, we'll look it up right now. But yeah, he, uh, and not much is changing. You know, because that's the first thing people get real nervous, I guess, that things are changing, but I think his video in six months will just be going to because it's always on YouTube I mean he's been doing it for free for a long time. So Spotify you have to pay for?

Spotify is free. So the podcast will still be free, but once they get into the video portion I think that's when you have to start paying So he just talks to celebs. Celebrities are like. Is he coming up any games or anything? No, I don't know. Does he come up with any games? No games.

Oh, I guess so. We got a new game today. Fucking Mr. Joe. Fucking big money bags, Rogan. I'm glad Neil deGress Tyson turned down our invite. I don't know. So he can play a game today. This could be good for us though.

Maybe we should be happy, Mr. Rogan, not angry. Because like, they'll be like, Spotify'll be like, holy shit, we got the big one. And then everybody else would be like, oh fuck, fuck, we gotta get someone. Who could we get? Give me a third of podcasts, go ahead. Right.

Like, Zoom did. Exactly. Yeah, there was like another one of these plate platforms is like, okay, we got to get exclusive podcast. Guys, $1,000. We'll get them in. Wow. Well, there is the like, you have to imagine when you hear that and you hear that Spotify

wants to get into non music type stuff, every podcaster is going to want to throw their hat into that ring, right? Because they're like, well, if they have a hundred million to give one guy. And if I was an investor in Spotify, I would not be very happy. I feel like really a hundred million, that seems like a lot. That seems like too much. Probably make that a month though. Yeah, more than that.

It doesn't just get high and talk to people. Yeah. So I mean, imagine that plus make it 100 million. That'd be fucking awesome. I mean, what's the planning in that though? So man, head man, why don't you smoke up man? Maybe we can make some money. We'll get that psychic from down the street back. Wow, $100 million. Good for him, man. I mean, I've never listened to an episode. I guess I'm one of the few, I guess. I've never listened to you there. Yeah, but I just don't know. I've listened to it. It's pretty interesting. It's just long. It's like, you don't have that much time to dedicate to it. He does it once a week, too. No, he does like, I think it does it four days a week. Oh Yeah, it was a 40s weekend. It's like four hours a day. It's a

It's a it's like a stern show. Right. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So he's the new stern. Um, he's this generation stern. I guess so. Yeah, except he's not like the the wild like I mean, not the stern's wild anymore, but he never had that like his wildest moment was probably he hosted fear factor. You know, with all that gross food shit and bugs and insects, can you imagine? I saw online today a Chinese guy eating a rat biting a rat's head off. Five. No, it was dead, but it didn't look any less.

No, it didn't look cooked. It just looked like a fucking dead rat just hanging there in his hand and he was saying Fucking Don't know if this guy could fucking sing a song I'd love him to So yeah, that's Joe Rogan's Now you're really sure told you shouldn't have led with that now. I'm all fucking depressed I don't even feel like I'm gonna fucking I tell you what I gotta do is I gotta get south to start doing what's Anyway, you got me your 100 million split two ways One hundred and one hundred three ways

You gotta you gotta start getting some of your fancy friends like he has Tony Tony Hawk, he has Pat and Oswald, he has Elon Musk, you know, he has all these, he's very, I mean, every day it's someone different. He's been so reliant on celebrities though. Tom Steve Dave just relies on fucking get him. Sunday Jeff. You'll run the fight. And I think we're starting to see why we're not gonna know a hundred million yeah Foundation is rotten over you know

Bro, I'm also dead You were not we're not fucking star fuckers. This is true. Well, I mean Ian came worse that he pulled back in I Hey Spotify we got Ian how much do we get now? to Ian. Hey Spotify, we got Ian, how much do we get now? Well, wait a second, yeah, fuck Joe Rogan then and all this money. You said you did a DIY project. Oh yeah. So quickly, because you said he's a man's man. He put shit together. Oh right. Okay. My daughter got a new bed. You know, where you, not the mattress, because it's a Casper mattress,

but the actual bed itself put a headboard and everything. And it was delivered and put together by the delivery guys. And they said that there wasn't enough slats for the mattress, like with the manufacturers, product didn't have enough slats. So if you laid on it, they felt the bed would sink So my wife was online then trying to buy a box spring or trying to buy some sort of like $200 thing that would go underneath the bed to keep the mattress upright Okay, and I said don't we have some pallets downstairs that the skulls came on

That we still haven't gotten rid of and I Absolutely, how do you feel about putting your mattress on some pallets? So I ripped the pallet The rip the pallet cross sections Slats slats rip them off with the with with the other side of a hammer on what the other side's called the yeah the claw took two of them brought it to work get them got me a saw a hand saw I would I measured it what it would go where I would have to go on and then I put a pencil line on it and I cut it I brought it back fit like butter hmm usually it fits like brought it back, fit like butter.

It was safe. Usually it fits like a glove, but you said butter in this situation. You fit like butter, and you should have saw my wife's face, she couldn't believe it. You could must have gotten some at night. You must have. Definitely, but the,

I didn't even need it. It was just, I couldn't believe it. You're like, I can't believe I did it. Now did you get psyched up? Like, I wanna do more stuff. No. Or you're like, I'm just gonna fucking put while I'm in did you get psyched up? Like, I want to do more stuff. No. Or you're like, I'm just going to fucking put all my head in. I'm going to let you ride down.

I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down.

I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down.

I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm going to let you ride down. I'm handsaw. Mm-hmm. I thought you were gonna say you just piled kissing devil skulls under the bed. Yeah, but I did that. That was a little DIY. Nice. So, Jory, open. Yeah, take that Jory.

Bro, go kill your elk. Go kickbox. He's the other thing he's super into MMA. Oh yeah, he looks like he's fucking all roided out. He's the guy who called out foul and fox where he's like That's a dude beating shit out of a woman. He was the first guy to like sort of be against transgender. Oh yeah, MMA fighters. Yeah So Okay, good for him. You know, hey, there's enough there's enough room at the table, right?

Well, do we talk to the podcast? Do we talk to our people and say like do we throw our hat in the ring? If nothing changed. Yeah, why not? I think I think they are well aware of the we're tapped out Hmm, so there's no hope for us. Well, fuck it then we didn't need Spotify before we don't need them now Although I think people do use it to yeah, I'm beyond Spotify. I think so that's the problem with the way I'm probably for free Oh Yeah, I'm beyond Spotify. I think so. That's the problem with people that are way up product for free. Oh well. We're for the people. Right, always have been, always will be. Be, uh, the patrons content.

Yeah, it's still for the people. It's just for the people with, you know, the sports catch. Select people. Oh, we sell out, I see. Yeah. Yeah. Um, before we, uh. Before we get to your game wall, I wanted to... We can save it till later. There's no rush on it. It's not that good. It's not? No, I mean, I don't know. It's kind of interesting maybe. It really depends.

We'll see. I wanted to get your take on this. Q, I don't, I don't think you'll have much to add, but everybody loves a Frenchie, right? Bulldog? Yeah. I haven't met anybody who doesn't love a Frenchie. Oh, I've never seen this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard about this. This is crazy.

What happened? An Illinois woman was viciously malted death inside her home by her own rescue French Bulldog. How? 52. She was found dead in her home. They found her mutilated body on the back porch and all types of confirms she died from injury, sustained one, or dog attack. The coroner said the attack began in the home, but she managed to make it out on the porch to where she died. And the coroner said the rescue dog had previously been used to fight.

You don't think about it happening with a smaller breed, but we forget these animals can be powerful. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cooper said most of the bite marks were not on the woman's neck, but that was not the Cooper, wasn't the dog. You can't talk. It was a doctor who, I guess, examined the woman and said most of the bite marks were not on her neck, but instead on her legs and arms and someone on her torso. It was just a lot of bites and said most of the bite marks were not on her neck but instead on her legs and arms

and someone on her torso. It was just a lot of bites and a lot of scratching. I hate to say it, but unfortunately it was a vicious attack. I assumed that the victim was in her 90s. Yeah, fifty two. I thought maybe you were some invalid, some like a lady that couldn't fight off a Frenchy, but this was a young woman Yeah, did it give you pause your 52 Well, you know what immediately I knew how pit bull owners felt, you know how they get very defensive when a story comes up Like you know, I started going online fucking shouting on Facebook, you know Shout down all these people who are like condemning for Frenchies. I made sure to log out afterwards But yeah, I know how they felt where they can tell me they were in front of you so did you see anybody can tell frenchies all i know i didn't see this and i was

stunned because i don't know how this could happen knowing what i know about french bulldogs um i've never seen a more um lovable and docile breed of dog i mean it's it's I, right now, I just want to just run right home and hug him. You know, we'll give it 45 minutes and we're gonna talk about Bluetooth first. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, are shelling out eight done yet, boys? I don't know how a French football can do this.

I do know he has powerful jaws. You have this, isn't this small, a little mouth on his nose? No, it's a, it's a big mouth. They got big mouths. But he would never hurt anything. I just don't know how this could happen. This had to be a dog that, you know, that one and a billion dog. Yeah, because serial killer dogs. Yeah, it just had to be, or it had to be, like it said, train the fight.

I don't know how this could happen. What kind of monster trains a French bulldog to fight or any dog Well, there's some dogs that are prone to it like I mean right aren't there dogs breed it just to fight Yeah, I mean illegally, but they are bred to fight or they were a long time ago. They were bred to guard like war dogs Yeah, yeah exactly. Oh, I like that warden Rockwilers and that was a Nicholas Cage movie wasn't it? I never saw a dog Yeah, was it the cage or I thought it a Nicholas Cage movie wasn't it? I never saw it. I thought it was Nicholas Cage.

What kind of animal does that? What kind of animal sees that French bulldog, waddle up to you? It's like, I'm gonna make that dog kill another dog. Somebody who's, it's basically like the training wheels of dog fighting, right? Is he such a little, like, friendly guy? Like, if I can turn this dog I can turn any dog Well, maybe you train that dog to be super vicious and then and then you put it in fights and everybody bets against it

Because they're like that French. She's gonna get ripped the pieces and then boom you make a ton of money because you got the meanest dog on the block Cute skin has have either of your dogs ever shown any sort of aggression at all Yeah, I think socks kick it, it socks is the alpha dogs, it socks, you know, she, she growls, shows her teeth, she lets her, lets the other one know that she's a, she's top bitch. But we could talk about blue chiu if you want. Sure, you guys love boners, right? I mean, having them, not, you know, have ever had gotten a boner that you wish you never got you Like I regret no boners ever

No, I just like oh my god like I cannot believe this is happening around this is the most inopportune time ever get one Try maybe when I was a teenager, but I don't the men's room No, that's what you go together Never you'd never had one where you're like holy shit. What is going on? Why am I getting a rouse right now? I don't think nothing I recall. Yeah, okay. I didn't have that like in school like that's the the the cliche Like you go up to the board to do a problem and it's like oh no, it's a worst time ever I'm getting a corner. I never never never never never happened. Never happened. Yeah. What happened to you? I don't know if it ever happened to me

But I've always heard stories about the most inopportune time to get one, was like you had to go up and deliver a thesis in front of the class or something. No, no. What school are you going to? I don't remember our senior thesis. My thesis was on ill timed erections. You ill timed boners?

That would be pretty good. And the fallout. How you get shunned afterwards? All right, so this episode is sponsored by Bluetooth. Remember, guys, remember the days when you're always ready to go, like you don't waste boners these days, like you're 52. There is no in our show. I don't wake up with piss boners. I know, I do wake up with piss boners.

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Unless you're doing something before you get up and take a pee, you're wasting it. Well, sometimes I do. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I just attack the middle of the night, you. Sometimes I do, sometimes I just attack. I'm in the middle of the night. You know, like a French boy. Yeah, I'm like a French. I'm like, not that bad. Now you can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed. So listen up, blu-tru.com. That's blue like the color blue. And

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realize it has to be it gets sends blood to the erection to block it off so you don't be the bed it's really yeah science yeah Science. Yeah, man. It's like we have our own yield-agress Tyson here. It's about $500 million. Wow, I did not know that I just assumed that it was, you know, I must have had a crazy dream. No, nothing to do with your dreams. Wow. It's a biology sun.

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to get to the bathroom. Right now we got a special deal for our listeners, visit bluetru.com. I got your first shipment free when you use our special promo code TSD, five bucks shipping. That's it. But what about dude, two can't get boners, are you constantly wet in the bed? I don't know, that's it. But what about dude two can't get owners are you constantly wetting the bed? I don't know that's never been a concern that I've thought about. Hey you wonder if they're like if they're have to like you know make sure they get up a couple times in the evening so they don't because they're not getting the erection to keep the. This is a good question for doctor. You're

in the morning doctor? Oh fucking I could ask Eric Yeah, ask Eric. I'm gonna call him. That's what that is. That would be pretty humiliating, right? You wake up, you're like, you're like, I can't really get boners anymore, you wake up and you've pissed all over yourself, the bed and your wife. Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm talking about.

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in that house? What's that? Oh, I have other stuff you want to talk about. I have an issue. Oh yeah. I have an issue. That's it. Sound good. No, it's, uh, I need, I'm starting to need glasses. Welcome to the club. Oh man, it's the worst. Just so you know, I think I would ever come that they would ever come for me and it came. I mean, it's really depressing just so you know I think I would ever come that they would ever come for me and it came I mean it's really depressing for me because my vision's always been like Like eagle vision. Yes. Yep. So I thought I had eagles eyes too. I was wrong now like I'm looking at the The microphone It's fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy. That's where it gets clear. Yeah. How old are you?

44 yeah, that's about it. It just happens, man. There's nothing you can do. Yeah, there's literally nothing you can do. Like you can't get lazy. You can't do this. It's like the cornea is hard in or something and they're like unless you got a cornea transplant, which is probably on that. Yeah, this is this make you feel a little melancholy. This this I find a little depressing. How come? Because I've like I'm kidding. kidding, when we used to take, we did the the early physicals of the fire department, like my vision was always. New York top guy. Yeah, I was the top guy. And it's sniper vision. That's what a guy said, he goes, if you're in the military, you'd be a sniper.

That's what he took. That is a badge of honor, right? Yeah. Not a cowardly fucking sniper on a fucking top of a building. Charles Whitman. This is more, man. I'm covering my fucking, covering my brothers on the field. I gotta have a sniper. Fuck it. Who's that dude in the fucking?

We get a job in a book depository here. Oh, that guy could kill Kennedy. He Harvey Osso. I was leaving the fire department guys. One of the Jones over there said I had sniper to kill Kennedy. We Harvey us. I'm leaving the fire department guys. I do one of the Jones over there said I had slight provisions. Yeah I'm gonna go to the White House Oh, cute, cute, cute

Well those days have passed me Walter. They're gone. They're done. I can't and it's it's a constant reminder that I'm getting older because I now, every second of every day, I don't see as well as I used to. Things look different to me now. Yeah. Things just look different. And so it's just like. That first time that happened, did you realize what it was?

Because I didn't realize what it was. I was like, fuck, man, why are my eyes so watery? I must have like something in my eye. And I didn't realize what it was. And then slowly dawned to me. Yeah. They're holy shit. It's just my eyes so watery? I must have like something in my eye and I didn't realize what it was and then slowly dawned on me. Yeah. That holy shit, it's just my eyes are going. It's happening.

We got any readers yet? I have two pairs of glasses. I have, I could have gotten by focus. Right. But I got two, I got two different ones. I'm still, I'm still okay seeing it a distance. Yeah, I am too seeing a distance is a distance. Yeah, I am too. Sting your distance is still okay. I have readers. And first

of all, they're like the lens. They're like, all right, well, pick your lens and like one lens is like $500. And I'm like, how much of those lens? Oh, dude. Fucking wall green. Yeah, dollar store. That's what saying the same

up to Amitris. I was like, how much of those? He's like the 25 hours of like, what's the difference? He goes, oh, those are a little nicerrist I was like how much of those is like the 25 hours of like what's the difference he goes Oh, that was a little nicer. I was like There a little 475 dollars nice. Oh, I look like Joe Rogan. Yes. I got the 25 dollar of plastic turquoise readers Oh, yeah, I just I lose mine so often. I just go to the dollar store dollar tree Oh, you know

I just get like whatever I just try him on to like get the one that it feels the best like it looks, you know, I look and I bring something with me that's small written and I look and I just I buy like 10 of them because I lose them so often. So could I because they because my my prescription is like lenses are prescription. So I can just find the equivalent of that and I'm not doing it. I went to a place called Replacealends. I got these frames on eBay, thinking that they would make me look like a chalmalastron, people would stay away. No one is. Has it worked? Nope. Everyone's like, oh, they look good. It's like David Kresh glasses. I thought they actually thought they looked pretty good when you put them on.

Yeah, very 70 style. Yeah. And then I sent sent away to this place replace a lens and then they put that it was like 1.75 or 2.0 or whatever And then I just made glasses to the bad part of it. Iron man glasses. Oh, nice look at you. Yeah. That's pretty good Yeah, I got to get into this ship, but this is this is this is it's it's a bring me down, but you know what? Yeah, it's it's the circle of life. It don't worry about it. It happens to everybody. It's been a good time soon.

Yeah. I mean, I'll get used to it. Yeah, you can't let it bring you down. It's pointless to even let it knock you at all, because it's taking its try. It's every man deals with it. Yeah, you know what's great, too, is when you have a 26 year old in the house who has snipe her vision. And you're like,

can you read this for me? Like she used to be like, do you need a pair of young eyes? She would say that. You know, bitch, I paid for your lazy. Oh, yeah, but it's, yeah, it's no fun. And then the rest of the shit comes with all this shit It's diminishing returns man once you hit a certain point You just like you just got a hold down and be like I just Whatever level I can enjoy this on I guess that's what I got to do right Yes, yeah, I mean there's no other wish it was bluetooth for the eyes Blue true for the eyes bluetooth for the wrinkles around your eyes, blue-chew for all that shit.

Although, I guess there is, it's called cosmetic surgery, but people look fucked up when they do it. Like a lady who pulls her face back and it's like, now you don't look like a real person. I don't get it. I don't look younger. I was watching Westworld, New Season Westworld, and Ed Harris, have you seen him lately? Ed Harris, he was in that... Oh my god he was in a best right? Yeah he was in a best. He's been in Ross, he's been a toyster.

He's been everywhere and uh Space Cowboys was he in that? Was he one of the guys in Space Cowboys? Oh he was uh he was in Apollo 13. He was the uh... He was the... He was the one yeah. So he's on Westworld now and his face is fucking Corrigally. I mean

Can't even fucking believe it. It might be one of the most cragliest faces I've ever seen like Just like you know when you see that he hasn't got any work done your thing. Yeah, no Would you ever consider work while yeah, but I'm afraid to get anesthesia though No. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a wrinkly dude. Like that is pretty, pretty cragly dude. How old is he? I mean, still looks good. He's a great actor on stuff, but I was looking at him and I was like, it's fucking cool that he just fucking his hair went. He didn't fucking do anything for a place. He's rocking that horseshoe thing to shave it down it's getting all those wrinkles just leaves it.

But I'm like I'm looking at this guy and I'm like alright he's 70 years old and then I'm like in 18 years I'll be 70 and look craggly like this motherfucker some jerk off podcasting to be like every scene Brian Johnson what a crack he is. No but I think it was cool I was like like, fuck, man, I think like he, I think age on like, me, you know, I'm even Clint Eastwood's gonna hold my phone and you see me look so frail. But I'm, he still looks like a badass.

You think so? Dirty Harry. But he's like, what, 84 now? 85? But if you turn back to clock, like even 10 years, I think you would look at Clint Eastwood, but he looks pretty cool still. So I mean, at Harris's rockin' that thing.

So I don't mind aging too much because I'm hoping like I'll hit that point where I'm like, all right, I look like at Harris. Cragley, but cool, you know? Yeah. With the vision. Well, it gives you, it gives your face character. It's overrated vision. Really?

Yeah. Can't they just shoot stem cells and fucking eyes? I eyes. I'm like, you can fix this shit. I probably if they could, it would be go. Don't let me if I shoot anything in your eyes, Q. I remember what happened last time. They didn't pay you. I wasn't charging. I got a, I got contacts or tried to anyway They're like basically it'll help you see stuff up close But up you'll sacrifice a little far away. I tried to wear them. I'm like it's too fucked up It's just like nothing looks clear like up close doesn't look clear far away. It's a lot right

So I'm like I don't the only and the only reason I would get contacts now is just to read, but because of the headphones, like they play down on your ear. Would you do contacts? I wore contacts once, the color ones for something we were shooting, and I could not get over the feeling. My daughter has contacts and she puts them in and takes them out like it's nothing, it just makes it creeps me out. Yeah, a lot of people, like touching your eye, like it freaks out a lot of people. Oh, yeah, it just felt me on my eye the entire time and and people like you just get used to it

I guess maybe you do but I would have had them in for eight hours. I never got used to it. Mm-hmm So no contacts are for me This is this is totally turned into like we're getting older. That's all we want to talk about now. Joe Rogan got 120 mil. Joe Rogan's talking about how he took down a fucking obcap by himself. So I mean, I think it's kind of a common not I don't know about knowledge, but I think it's accepted that I don't know anybody who's disputing

it anymore that I'm the most normal person in the world. Well, not in the world, I guess in our circle. Okay, sure. I would think that was accurate. I don't know if anybody's arguing that or if he's going to contest it, right? Is there anybody going to say nobody cares enough? I think he's a lister think the listeners would think that right I don't know let's ask him well but the game I came up with I it's called are you normal okay and it's three scenarios ranging from the mundane to the

insane okay that really happened and I want you to each of you to tell me what your response would be to these things. Okay. And we'll see how it they lined up with a normal man's response. Oh, okay. Three scenarios. One just like absolutely nuts. Oh, cool. Crazy. Crazy shit. Things that you never think ever gonna happen in your life. A dream about sometimes. All right, go for the piss bar. So I quit, so there's three scenarios I gave each one a title.

First one is Blowjob and a haircut. Okay, great. So not Chief. So I give my haircut back when I was getting haircuts before the pandemic At the mall supercuts. Hmm anywhere that's got no line anywhere that I look in am I go okay? There's no one getting anything done. I can go roll I can walk right in get it done right now And I went in to get a haircut at the mall the local mall

Right after the mall opened. So it's like 10, 30, 10, 15 in the morning. And I walked up to the lady and I was like, can I get a haircut? And she said, absolutely, go sit down and Jackie's going to come out and give you a haircut. It should be right over. And I'm sitting there waiting and waiting. And mom, I phone, I'm not annoyed, I think, but it's taking a while for this lady to come over.

And then in the mirror, I see the bathroom door open and this 90 year old woman walks out and she saddles over and she's gonna give me her cut. 90 years old though. I don't know, and then is that being ageist, be like, whoa, I thought I was going to get the 40-year-old thing. Usually work at these places. So you're asking me what I would do?

I mean, yeah, I mean, well, that's not the situation yet. That's just part of it. I mean, I would assume she would have more experience. Skills? I would be, yeah's been around the block. Cutchow and chapel and tarot Trim this mustache So she comes over and like you know what? Would you have would you have said anything? Or do you let the 90 year old come over? No, when you say 90 are you exaggerating or

Harris looking I mean I thought she was there like you know She just asked to use the bathroom because she was like she's like she got off the I'm in Continent you know, scat bus There's a mall walker with a group of other seniors Here's what I do Because I don't want to make her feel bad right at least while I'm standing there I'm sitting there. I'm already in the chair. At least while I'm standing there. I'm sitting here. How are you in the chair? So I pretend I get a call.

And I'm like, I'm sorry, can you hold on one minute? I leave, I just never come back. You would do that because she's 90? Yeah, I wouldn't want someone that old cut my hair. I just feel like they're daughtering. They wouldn't know what they're doing. Here's Lisey's honest. Yeah, yeah.

So so far, you're lining up with what I did. I let her start to cut my hair. And then something happened while she's cutting it. Do you want your dick so far too? I blew Charlie Chaplin once. He had a piss bowler. Well first of all, I go there for like, it's a sensory thing for me, a haircut. It's like, you know, the sound, the feel, not so much the visuals, but sometimes the visuals, you know, work out in your favor.

But not this time. She's 40, she's dressed like she's 20 she's 90 dresser like she's 80 but yo she's starting with start to do the conversation things trying to talk and I'm like trying to make it real small talks like I just at least enjoy the sensory the sound and the and the feel of getting a haircut and then I noticed that best haircut maybe I ever got my life. Oh, we're looking really, really good. I'm really digging what she's doing.

The skills that she's got are definitely paying the bills. Wow. And then she does something that I've never had happen while I'm ever getting her cut in my life. She's looking at over, looking at trying to even up the hair on in the front, like my bangs. And she's having a hard time seeing just like all of us at the table.

What's going on? So, lately. And she attempts to get the stray hairs off my face by blowing into my face. Blue the hair off my face. Oh, no. I swear to God, she blew the hair off my face. And thank God she had a fucking tick-tack in her mouth.

I could smell it. But she blew the hair off my face and thank god she had a fucking tick-tack in her mouth. I could smell it. Oh, but she blew the hair off my face. Isn't that why they invented those little brushes? Yeah, it's one of the main tools. Wow. And I just, I sat there and what do you do, Q? You have to realize she just blew in your face, blew all the hair off your face. Oh yeah, that may be one. One she blows the

once is she going for another puff. Dude will not be a second. Well actually that's what for the first. Yeah for anybody who was wondering why I called this one blowjob in haircut. That's the job. That was a good one now. So what do you do, Keele? I would probably let that one go, because what are you gonna do? It's already done. Okay. Let's stop there, Brian. What do you do?

She blows on my face. Yeah. I think the same as Keele, I'd be like, what the fuck? Immediately, I'm like, I can't wait to tell those guys. But like him, I'd be like, please don't do that again. You would tell her, don't do that again. You make an issue. Would you even, would you even,

not approach it, but would you even comment on the first blow? No, I wouldn't, I mean, I guess I'm commenting by saying don't do it again. I guess that is kind of a comment on the first. But I've gone to a point where like, I just tell people shit, like, I'm very straightforward because I don't want to fuck around, I don't want to be polite when people are doing fucked up shit or stuff like that.

It's like you should know better by now. You don't blow in someone's face. It was my hunter with you. This is pre-coronate. I don't give a fuck when it was. I have no fears of like, you know, this was definitely like early February or January. I was not worried about

Corona, so you you said you address it. I don't address it. I don't address it I just let it go the first time. Okay, when she spins and does it to the back of my neck Then I'm like then I would say something Really? Yeah, I'd be like, you know, could you just give me a favor and not blow on me? Like is there a brush you can use? Be like, did you know could you just do me a favor not blow on me like is there a brush you can use? Probably she you've already told her not to do it and then she spent your own you and you she blows on your back your neck again Oh, God, I'm like this. I was like she's I knew it. I knew I should have fucking said here I should have listened to my guy. I got a call Wow, well both you guys are abnormal are we

Wow, well, both of you guys are abnormal. Are we? Yeah. Because we didn't do what you did, we just sit there and take it. I just didn't say a word. I didn't say a word either time. I just was like, you know, oh, she goes, are you happy? You look good and I was like, it looks great. And I just got up and paid and I gave her a tip when I walked away.

And then you never went back and you never would. I would go back. I would go back and I went back another time to get her, but every time I looked at her I would walk by a couple of times to see if she was in there and she wasn't in there so it's probably died So I never got my haircut from her Ever so you let's just blow it in your face. Well now I would tell her now I would be like, you know Hey post-coron I mean now we're in a pro-coron age. That's what it takes. I could die if you blow in my face

So could you please not do it? Yeah, I didn't say word though. I thought that was the I didn't want to I don't want to embarrass her I don't want to make her feel bad, you know old lady. She's a witty could put it on yourself. Maybe I don't know But just be like I have a weird thing because you know, yeah Like many people I don't like strangers blow in my mouth It is bizarre that somebody would do that. Usually what they do, if they don't use the brush, they take the hair dryer and they're like, yeah.

Yeah. Not this way, she was conserving energy. So you're in the 19th century, this is how we did it. Yeah. I mean, she was blowing it and she was like the fuck a wolf trying to blow it out of little pigs house. Man, she was blowing so hard in the back of my neck. Oh yeah.

She was hooked in the back of my neck. Oh yeah. She just hooked it back in my neck. She hadn't even cut it yet. She said, what's the past now? I'm trying to prevent it from being a bump. Sneak out without paying. All right, so all right. So you guys, oh for one, both of you guys,

both abnormal. Shit, that's all right. So there's still chance with these last two to turn around. Turn around. All right. The next one is chance with these last two to turn around. Turn around. All right. The next one is called Hot Hot Toys. OK.

One day I came to work and got a phone call. Another line, it was a gentleman who claimed to be a police officer from a nearby town, alerting me that I had stolen goods in the store. All hot toys and the hot toys are a certain brand of toys. That's why hot hot toys. Stolen. You gotta explain it to me. I got toys making really high-end toys. Usually Marvel or DC movie. I have some hot toys that I've been. 300 $300 a pop high-end shit And what and you when they go out of print they go you know go up to $506 a piece. They're very nice

Yeah, really really well done. I mean there you could see why they charge so much for them Yeah, I got the DeLorean they did oh really no, so that was like a five-owner or a piece right? Yeah, that was a big money But I got a call from a guy who's claiming to be detective from a town that was about maybe 10, 15 minutes down the road saying that I had in my possession on my store's eBay page what he believes to be stolen merchandise and that these items were reported stolen. From whom? These items were reported stolen from whom from a from a guy who's who filed a police report saying that These items are stolen from my house and then this guy went around looking on eBay and looking to see He did a little detective work, and I guess he thought that

There's too many things that I had in my collection that are on this guy's collection that are on this guy's Store page so he says, factually, that shit stolen, not like, I need to come in and take a look, or here's what happened. Can I ask you some questions? Yeah, no, no, not even ask me questions. He says you have stolen merchandise on your stores page. Okay.

Sounds like a desperate collector. Like I'm coming to get it. No, it's a police officer. That's what he said. How the fuck do you know if he's really a cop? Yeah, my first thing would be like, this isn't a cop. Yeah, I don't think I'd be in prank.

You guys are going to be a little bit more normal by the second. That's what I said. I go, well, how do I know this is a police officer? And there's like dead silence. He goes, I'm a police officer. And he says, it's bad. And he goes, like, he's so annoyed at me at this point now.

And he's so gruff. And he's like, tomorrow I'm going to come down there. And I'm gonna confiscate the toys and I'm gonna give you a receipt and yada yada yada and I'm like, oh, I need some explanation here. I'm like, I know you fucking gotta go solve the fucking Lindbergh baby. You said that? No, I didn't say that. I know you got other fucking trying cases there, but you're just like making me expect you to believe that this is real like, how do we know? And he went into it and he really got off the phone really quick, was like, I'll be there tomorrow. Go over it.

Just confiscate these, he gave me the names of all the toys that were on my eBay page. What do you know where the toys came from? Yeah, I know about two months ago, some dude came in and sold me a fucking massive amount of hot toys So it might be the stolen toys. They're definitely stolen toys And it's not a scam right that maybe you know this is why

So fucking dude walked in off the street months prior and was like kind of all these hot toys Sounded that at the back of his back. Hot toys. That's why I called it hot hot And I didn't know they were hot. He didn't tell me they were hot. He was just like I'm selling my collection Incidentally If a cop calls looking for these it's because they're stolen. Yeah, so I buy I make this big purchase You know spend over a thousand dollars on hot toys. Oh shit and Yeah, so I buy I make this big purchase, you know, spend over a thousand dollars on hot toys. Oh shit and Start to list them on eBay and then I get a call two months later that they're stolen

What do you do? What's like? There's still like this is just the first stage. So what do you do now? Just hearing that stage of the scenario? So as he's off the phone. He's coming tomorrow. Yeah, what do you do? In my heart of hearts, I feel he's not on the level Well, I mean the the caller ID. I look at it says oh fuck it's coming from police. Where I'm but they could fake that though I'm like I might well look the weren't the least you could do the least that happens is he comes in and he shows his badge and he's a cop right Two things immediately come to mind. I would either call it a local precinct and be like, hey, I got this guy coming

to sound shaded to me. Let them investigate it. Crazy. You're fucking, you're normal. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you haven't heard of you as to it, but that's what I did.

I went down to the Vy local police station. Right. And I was like, I'm gonna file a charge against this cop for fucking harassing me on the phone, you know, or this supposed cop. It is not a cop, I want to see if I can do something to him now for trying to scam me out of my hot toys. Right. My soul and hot toys. Literally, my now. It turns out it was, I, I had, you know, he called there, called that precinct, talked to the cop, and it turned out to be be accurate but there was a case of stolen hot toys. Oh wow.

But then I get back to the store and the owner calls a store. The owner of the toys. The owner of the toy saying that he, you know, he was looking around, he saw that I had so many of the toys that he had. He figured, you know, they had to be your toys and he goes, now I looked at what some of the other things that you sold You can see completed auctions and see who sold them and he goes so I know you sold some I merchandise already What do you do do you cop to that? Well, he has evidence

Yeah, he has evidence so I like no he has he has evidence that you sold those toys He doesn't know that they were his right He has no way to prove that they were his and I I would say to the cop, like, can I ask you a question, would you advise me to just believe anybody who says they're a cop when they call the store? Like, is that the advice you would give to someone? And if they come in and they're like, give me those hot toys because I'm a cop. Like, that sounds fucking ridiculous to me. Right. You should act more professional.

But then the guy starts to go, like he starts listing all the toys. So what did you buy? He goes from my, because it was his niece's boyfriend, stole all his shit. And he goes, did you have this? This are the things,

these are some of the things that, well let me ask something. Is he talking to you, like you're an asshole? Or is he like, not yet? Okay. Not yet.

That's coming. Okay. So he's telling you his tone would take a lot of time on his response. Now, I mean, I want to run a clean shop. You know, first and foremost, that's, you know, put all that suncoast days behind me. No, a man can't you.

Yeah. So I want to try to do the right thing here. You know, I'm stolen goods, stolen goods. But I did sell some of the stuff in the two months that I was made aware that the stuff was stolen. And so I said to him, like, yeah, I sold it. And then, yeah, I sold that one. And there were some things I sold in store

that so he didn't even know I had those toys though Because he's just looking at my eBay page So he doesn't know about the three or four that I sold in store So do I tell him I sold those two or do I just say no I didn't get those because there's no way there's no paper Trail I can never be You know, well in my mind. I don't think I can be but you know I'm between a rock and a heart place here I got the law fucking breathing down my neck on one end now I got the owner fucking Not to mention the barber Yeah, but you haven't done anything wrong

Get that on Joe Rogan Like he's too high that's clever man. I say you don't get that from somebody fucking smoking dubbies all day long. You need to be fucking fresh and fucking with it. Yeah, man. I'm on point. Lucy. That's, I would be like, this is really a conversation you should be having with your niece's boyfriend. Like, he's been arrested. He told me, he told me the whole story. He was arrested in North Carolina. He's a heroin addict and He then proceeds to tell me that when I when I cop to I have to you know He's got like you said he's got the proof that uh from the eBay pages that I did sell those toys He goes huh and how much you sell it for and I said how much I saw the foreign goes he looking at goes Yeah, he goes yeah, that's what you sold the for or he goes you're gonna have to give me that money for that down

He goes, yeah, that's what you saw before. Or he goes, you're gonna have to give me that money for that down he goes. Oh, I'm like, look, I bought these. I bought these in good faith. This is between you and your home insurance or you and you're like, I'll give you what I have left. But it's like, why do I have to lose all the money? Right, that's what I said. That's not the way the world works is like,

if you go into say a pawn shop, they have a responsibility legally to list and and cross check What are they called like the numbers serial numbers and that kind of thing? That's not the way it works in a store like this right as far as you knew like the guy said hey I have all these hot toys. I want to sell them. It's like first time it's ever happened in the history of stash that we brought stolen goods It's like first time it's ever happened in the history of stash that we brought stolen goods

first time ever that I know of and So I'm like a like my mouth's a gate when he goes that you're gonna have to Compensate me for all the toys you stole you sold not stole we didn't steal Some of your stole yeah, let me get that clear and still these toys and So I say to him like why the hell are you not going after the fucking boyfriend? Why would you go after me? And he goes, please, got no money. He said, at least he is like, he is brutally honest, because you got the money. I can't get anything out of him.

He's got nothing. I can go after him, but he will have no money to compensate me so I can go back and buy the toys that were stolen for me. I beg, well, that sucks. I don't envy your situation. But that's, again, that sucks. Like, I don't envy your situation, but that's, again, that's between you and him. If the cops come down and they take it, then okay, what am I gonna do?

Yeah, because by his chain of logic, the guy who border off you on eBay is now responsible to give it back to him. Yeah, and lose that. And lose the money. He's saying he was gonna contact, he wanted me to give the winner, because you can't see that on the eBay page

He wanted me to provide the details and the address the addresses. Oh my voice is going for everyone who bought the toys I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't give up my fucking customers information. Yeah, because I mean jail I said I'll never give them up So then what do I do what do you do then? I'll never give them up. All right, you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh anything else, it's like, look, I acted in good faith. And that doesn't, I don't think that obligates me to pay you back anything. Sue your, Sue, the guy, I don't give a fuck if he was money or not. That has nothing to do with me. Yeah, but he's, he said he's going to go away now. He's a felon and he's going to go away for about 10 years. And when he gets out, then he has to, you start giving me compensation for the hot toys. Okay. So you want in. So you want to double dip that.

Yeah, it was crazy. So what I did was I went back down to police station. I was like, can I file a complaint against this guy? He's arrested. He arrested, I said. Why, how many times did he call? He called two times. He called back the second time to apologize.

But apologize only for being emotional, but he still planned to sue me though, he said. I'll say this much, it's not normal to file multiple restraining orders in one way, over twice. What against the cop is only doing his job and another he gets in the front of the guy. I want to be proactive and start having, so when he called again, if he called, I'd be like, you know, I just went down and followed up a against you. Yeah, I thought that would maybe you know, you know Make him back off. Yeah, and you know we encouraged him

But I didn't tell him but the cop wouldn't even take the fucking complaint anyway He's like you you can't file a complaint against them. He goes you know He in plus he goes he can't sue you. He goes you're okay. Don't worry about it I kind of took me off the ledge. Oh That's good. Yeah, so he can't get his stuff back because he got he get the stolen stuff back That I still had my possession the stuff that I had flipped in between right I'm free and clear There's nothing I didn't know that sounds pretty fair now. Did you make your money back? I definitely Probably was either a hundred dollars up or a hundred dollars down.

I can't remember right now. But it was close enough. Close enough where it was like it wasn't devastating to lose, you know, the money we had paid out to this fucking crackhead. I mean, the choice that this guy hot toy guy made was to allow his niece and this fuck up to be around his toys. It's like every choice that you made led to this guy. He doesn't care. Selling this shit to me who acted in good faith, who runs a collectible shop, like what the fuck did you think was gonna happen?

And it was, the crack didn't even look like a crackhead. That was the thing, he just looked like a normal dude. Never would have thought that he was stealing, or this was a shady deal. everywhere man sling boxes hot toys so who came by to pick up the products? a woman police officer came by the next day because that police officer the guy the gruff the fucking the guy who was all fucking in my face and shit thought he was gonna scare me and rattle me

crime dog like hey you shook you know he was gonna scare me and rattle me. I'm gonna be like, hey, he's shook. You know, he was dealing with a fucking real gangster. Yeah, man, like I'm fucking hard. I'm running fucking down the police station three or four times to fucking try to file complaints against them. I ripped a slout off a pallet and fucking fixed my daughter's bed. But she was really nice and she came down. She gave me a handwritten receipt of all this things that she she took and they walked away and the toys left and I haven't

heard anything since was it the hot cup hot cup the one with the dark hair. There's a there's a female cop in red bed. No, no, this was a police officer from the dude where he lived. Oh, God. Yeah, she was a little tiny little police officer came in and and took all the hot toys away. Was there any temptation to look at the remaining hot toys and be like, I was a skim this the Lorraine off the top say I sold that brick and mortar. I'd be lying if I didn't fucking, if I wasn't torn, be like, well, he doesn't even know I had this fucking Captain Phasma. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But I'm proud of myself to say I didn't fucking skim off the top, I was like,

played it by the book. I'm a bogg-cat. No, I didn't. I swear to God. I didn't. I played it by the book because I was like, it's not worth the 150 bucks. It's for the best.

To get caught and be embarrassed and be like, well, why'd you lie to us? What else are you lying about? Is everything suspect in this place? Nothing suspect in this place. I would like it if, like, what do you do if the cop is, or the cop is looking around for the hot toys, she's like, hey, can I see your basement

and like get them panics and pushes her down the stairs. So, ah! All right, now, I bet both you guys are pretty normal based off that. All right, one. And that one, yeah, you guys both get fucking normal marks. Nice. But now I got the last one, which is the insane one.

All right, let's do a meyundi's course, so far as we keep people. It has something to do with the basement too, bro. You said the basement. Oh, yeah, weird that you would like segue right into a all comes around. Yeah, I was just fucking thing falling over. Okay. Let's see what do we get here? And this last one will determine if you're normal enough. I like that. Yeah, because we got one. We're not normal to the other one. We are. right. Summer time dreaming. These are the days when visions of sunshine

and surf dance through our heads, probably now more than ever. Okay, I'm not gonna read any of that stuff, it's nonsense. Let's just talk about me undies. Let's talk about Modal, Micro Modal, not the full size. Oh yeah, finally got some me undies since the house.

Whoa, breaking news. Yeah, no, box of briefs still. Oh, you want boxers, right? Yeah. Boxers instead of box of briefs. Yeah. Yeah. What was the pattern? Is it killer whales? Yeah, it was pretty good. I would. I heard you're not supposed to not call them killer whales. Or because I said killer whale and I was immediately chatted. Marybeth, she's like, you know, I, when I was in school, I'm living by her rules. Sounds like someone is. while and I was immediately chatted. My who? Mary Beth, she's like, you know, when I was in school. I'm living by heart rolls.

Sounds like someone is. Not when she's not around. Then I say, kill her while I'm dead. So I have a sweet, sweet, I have so many meandies that I've had to get rid of some But it's heartbreaking when you do because I love them. Yeah, I'm I was looking they have a B pattern We were just talking about bees recently won't kill bees. Yeah, oh killer bees are they had a killer bee pattern That'd be sweet, but now they got like a lot of killer bees Murder hornets. Yeah, get your object to that. I don't know, I'll ask her. I was thinking, you know, if on the podcast, maybe it'll be okay if I said murder hornets.

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So this is really good, This one's gonna count. This one's decided. You walk out of here in normal man. Or an abnormal man. The pressure. It's called basement billionaire. Okay. Right before the shit hit the fan and we went into the lockdown,

I had to go into the stash basement looking for some customary for a project we were doing. I'm looking for a top hat. Okay, a barren hat, that a purple barren hat, that I knew I had, that I need it for a project we were working on that we're filming that weekend. And I knew always down here but I couldn't find that anywhere in the basement. It's it's it's it's needed that it's ever been, but it's not like super neat. So I'm digging around looking for it and I happen to see a bag that I've never seen in the basement before and I'm pretty much I feel like

I would have noticed this bag in the fucking 20 years I've been here. It's buried, but I'm like I would have seen this bag in the fucking 20 years I've been here. It's buried, but I'm like, I would have seen this bag by now. I'm like, what's in this bag? I open up the bag and there's nothing in the bag, but there's weight to it. I'm like, well, there's something in the bag. I could feel it underneath. There was a hidden bottom to the bag. Not so much hidden, but somebody had put something

in there and I just peeled it away. And I thought I was living in a dream because when I pulled it away, there were stacks. And I kid you not, this is the insane one. Stacks and stacks and stacks and stacks and Stacks and stacks and stacks and stacks of bills money Cold hard cash. I'm not fucking with you really with denominations

All 20s Some 50s just just I Couldn't believe it and not you've never heard word one about a bag full of money being missing. Never. Just get him hiding money in the basement. The very first thing I said to myself was this fucking idiot is fucking hiding his whole life savings in the stash because remember when his house burned down, he had lost because he had fucking was hiding money in his fucking couch right?

In his couch on top of sewing machines. I mean I really was just like I had to sit down and just be like what the fuck is going on? Because this is something people dream about right? Sure. I was just going to say like it's either when you open up a bag and like on the side of a road it's always either money or body parts. I was relatively sure it's not body parts,

so I was like, if it's money, that's the dream. What's your first inclination? What do you do? Because you're like, this has been here or it looks like forever. I mean, I'm really assuming it's getting. If I'm you. Yeah, that's what I would've thought too.

And that would be my first call or text But what but do you be are you like hey, man? Did you do you have a fucking substantial amount of money in the stash? Hidden in the fish. Yeah, I would be like is there any chance you hid some some money down in the Basement but what if it's not him? No, I don't I mean money does fucking crazy shit to people so I'm like He can you tell him how much just be like yeah, that's a money. He's like how much like 200 bucks It's like a driving nuts just be like it's I've found it I just found money hidden down there as a yours. He'll say no All right, so I initially I thought it was good. I'm so but like what do you do?

Do you put the money back in the bag just leave it there and go about your day because he's off work that day So you you couldn't contact me. He doesn't fucking pick up and it says day off fucking he day because he's he's off work that day. I would you could in contact. I can't he doesn't fucking pick up. And it says day off. Fucking he won't he won't answer it. It's my day off. I'm gonna respect it. I would text him anyway.

I'm just assuming it's him. So I'll just leave it there and go about my day. So you wouldn't you wouldn't be like fucking like just bamboozled. Did you ever count it? When I got to a certain point, I was like, I can't even count it no more. Really? Yeah. I would just think that given his,

what we know of him and how he handles his money, to me would just be a no brainer that that's what it was. But where was it squirreled away? Was it just sitting out? It was really, what I, I mean, I was making a little bit more sexier, but it was just fucking out in the open. It was just out in the open. It was sitting out? It was really, I mean, I was making a little bit more sexier, but it was just fucking out

in the open. It was just out in the open. It was just out on like some fucking boxes that had been crushed. It was just out sitting there like where anybody could have just seen it and just walked away with it. Cheers to Pity. Yes. Yes.

And I was just like, I've never seen this bag before. I don't even know why I even caught my eye because I like, I don't even know why I even opened it. You know, but I knew the top hat wasn't in there. You just, I knew it wasn't in there. I don't why even opened it. I don't know what made it go. You should have tagged it and gave it the camera on to deposit directly in Kevin's account.

Yeah. Or called the cop. Back to the fuck, yeah. I want to give my hot toy profits. So I, you would just put the money back in the bag and just leave it where it was? Yeah, I mean, it's probably what I would do. Right.

I would probably take the money home. I think I would take it home and I would because it's clearly not safe. I mean, only you guys go down there, but like you don't know, there are other people who do come in here, fire guy, fire department dude, is always down there. So I would bring it home.

I might even wait for them to say something. These are the things I'm like, I gotta wait till somebody says who this is. Yeah. Because I mean, it's too much fucking, this is crazy. This is not normal. And the number of 10 number of 10 games called are you normal right? Yeah The number of times that there have been events here and God knows how many people go downstairs

Yeah, but if you know the money's down there, you're gonna be hyper aware of who's going down You know, it's not just like a revolving door No, you're saying get him would be you were no, I'm just saying like, I would leave it down there because the fire guy's not coming and going downstairs without me knowing. Oh, right, right. So then I'd like very suspicions if I fucking run down here with the fire guy,

which I've never done before. Just stand in front of the bag with your arms. Like, nothing. Yeah, but so what, it's your store. If you want to go down before the fire guy, well. Right, right. Well, getting points though, for just leaving it there, that's not normal. Yeah, but so what at your store if you want to go down before the fire guy, right? Well Getting points though for just leaving it there. That's not normal. I don't think just to leave it there cute I have that much money. Yeah, I don't know how much money it is

Well, I can't I told the person what I found out who's was I told them I would not reveal because he's very nervous about about About the amount. Yeah, so I won't reveal how much the amount is but um so I go up there. Oh, actually no, I run immediately and I start taking the money out of the bag and putting it is my pockets loses weepers So I start putting it and get him your fired Don't ever come back. I start putting it in a different bag And I'm gonna find a much better hiding space down here for it. I'm not just gonna leave

it out in the open. I mean literally it's like you see that black bag right there, Q? Yeah. I'm pointing off, I know we can see I'm pointing to that's where it is basically. Down in the basement. Just right out. Right out in the open. Yeah. So I take all the money and I put it in a new place. I put it in a safe. The no one's ever gonna fucking find it unless they were tearing the place apart. And I go upstairs and I call my wife. Cause I'm like, I don't even know what to fuck to do.

I don't know what protocol is for this. Who's money could this be? I'm thinking like in a drug haze, did you get this out of con? And just forget it down here, or did you use this bag and didn't realize it was under there? Oh, I did, That's exactly what happened. Now that I think about it. You can't do that while you're high.

You can't do that while you're high. You can't do it like that. Joe Rogan wouldn't have fucking made that joke. That's true. Well, it's all I'm thinking, like, is it Brian's? Because did he use this bag as he was down? I know you were down in the basement recently. Like, did you use this back to bring something?

You didn't even realize this money was hidden in the fucking, in the hidden pouches. So I call her, and I'm talking to her, and I'm in my car. I don't even make the phone call in the store. I go in my car to make the phone call tour to tell her, I'm like, I don't know what to do. I'm scared, I don't know what to do.

I love how conspiratorial it is. And like, like, I don't know what to do, I'm scared, I don't know what to do. I love how conspiratorial it is. And like, I feel like I would be like, holy shit, look at all this money, I'll bring it back because it's weird that it's just sitting out like this. And then investigation commences. Yeah, I love how you're just like sweating. Oh yeah, sweating like a bandit. Oh, shit, I want to sit in the 20, I'll put up pizza.

That's what you're talking about. I'm talking to her and I'm in the driver's side of, you know, car, I'm in the seat of my car. And I startled by a fucking knock with thorough fucking intensity on the window. And I turned and Mike is staring at me, fucking wide eyed and fucking like we fucking rabid and I roll the window down and he goes, Hey man, you didn't find anybody to understand, I don't face it, it's ya! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh my god, how attempted were you to be like now? Would have been great just to keep him from going. He is fucking panicked like like I've never seen him before and I'm like Yeah, I did I go that was your fucking money. I go what the fuck is that much money doing in this body? in the face of the stash

He's like oh, okay, you got it. I was like yeah, yeah, I got it. Oh. I go, oh, thank God. And he's like, and I'm like, what the fuck? That's like, get out the phone. I got to go. That's fun. That's my slush word. And he's like, I had to, I was bringing that money to the bank this morning. I have to, I was changing state deposit box.

And they, and I didn't get here. I was running late and have enough time. So I just threw it downstairs. And I didn't think you, I didn't think you would go down here. I didn't think you'd be down here. I didn't think anybody would be down here today. And you were down here for so long. I was like the holy shit that you find my money down here I was just like it was just

I'm it was like what a fucking roller coaster ride that must must be like the fucking do horse or something like when you're like It must feel like a do drugs because I was like I was so fucking electrified. I am tough Yeah, you know finding that much money in the thrill in the fucking the the danger watching Mike fucking get all scared and shit adrenaline bump it was it was just I could not I I would have bet the farm it was that fuck up I would have anything it was him I thought it was yeah I'm on fucking took his money that he fucking that didn't get burnt and I was hiding it here hiding it quote unquote hiding it in plain fucking sight. That's like that's been nigh occult to just take whatever amount of money it was throw it down stairs and be like that's

good until tomorrow. Like why wouldn't you just tuck it away? I have I have no idea. Mike was in the store. You weren't working alone. I wasn't working alone. Oh you didn't just come up and be like you money I didn't know what to do Q. I wanted to say to anything either I wasn't gonna be like because I don't know man money's fucking that can't fucking do crazy things to people like bright Like I said a bright like that joke. He made like oh, yeah, it was my money. I don't know. I don't know who's money It is I Got a fucking beat. I got to make sure the normal thing is to do the right thing.

Right. Make sure who I reunite this fucking satchel a cash to its rifle. But how are you going to do that if you don't ask people if it's their money? I'm going to wait for prices. I'm going to wait to see what happens. The person will be making themselves know. Yeah, there's somebody's going to eventually going to fucking be like, hey, do you find money down here? Yeah, like if the next morning I hate you find money down here. Yeah, like if the next morning, Carol's like Mike took his own life like that. Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! I messed up on this. I'll find her skipper, as soon as we were sure. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Oh my god, I was, it was a tiny man. Oh. What a day that was. That was a much exciting day at the station a long time. I tell you that dude. It's crazy Look at this place man. This is an exciting place to work You got cops be like give those hot toys back like big sums of cash now. I again it may sound like that Like big sums of cash. Now, again, it may sound like that.

I know I'm painting a picture that this is like exciting fucking edgy your seat. Glamers, you may get some glamers. Glamers, what's it called? Selling comics, but for the most part though, it's fucking dreadfully boring and that doesn't really happen. But those days though, you know, it was felt like to be alive. Wow, maybe we should set up little mysteries for Walter. Yeah. You know, it was felt like to be alive. Wow. Maybe we should set up little mysteries for Walter. Yeah. I said a bad idea. I don't want to

month. I felt, I felt, uh, you are the most normal out of the both of you. Thanks, sir. Yeah. I wouldn't have thought that either though. Comes with age. Yeah. I wouldn't have thought that. I wouldn't have thought that I would have had on you. Wow. I don't know. I know you're losing your sight and now you found out that you're not normal, but. He's taking lumps all over.

I can't read anymore. Everything was so fuzzy. Oh, congratulations, O'Brien. Thanks, man. Who would have thought,? That's desacurate Home tonight. Yo tell everybody. Yeah, I'm like, hey Mary Beth I'm normal Just regard all that other shit that's been going off for the last five years. Up to an including earlier today.

Restarting now. I put this off this one up against anything Joe Rogan did this week. I agree. We should have got that 120 million. We're fucking robbed. You found a bag of money and you had to give it back. Tell him, Steve Dave.