Tell Em Steve-Dave - #444.5: It Was The Times

Episode Date: May 24, 2020

*WARNING! Major spoilers lie within. Frank5 and Bry talk ‘The Last American Virgin’

I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough. Because here we are back where we were before. Hello everyone and welcome to the newly minted. Hey, it was the times. It was it It seemed to fit the title seemed to fit a little bit better and Not by design you just Geniously came up with it in the moment and Here we are it went from the 80s and 80s to the 70s and 70s to it was the times. Exactly. It was as we're going to find out with this film. Last American Bergen.

Yeah, I was just going to say I have to tell you that I never saw the movie before I'm just going to say I have to tell you that I never saw the movie before and I owe you a lot of thanks. First of all, sending me the DVD, which I appreciate. And secondly, suggesting this because this, I'm going to my growing up anyway. You know, it wasn't a bunch of, uh, topless girl or like naked girls and showers. It wasn't like the over the top shit. It was like some of the stuff was a little big, but not nearly as big as the other movies we've done so far. Except for people. And not just like there's nothing bigger than that at all. Yeah, and I mean, I gotta tell you, when I was watching this, it was very, very relatable.

I mean, there were some things that happened in this movie that happened to me. I was even talking to Mary and I was telling her a story of something and she's like, you're not gonna mention it on the podcast, are you? Like, no, no, I won't mention that. I'll often, I'm not mention the head, but yeah, I related a lot to this particular movie. Yeah, so what we're going to do is, all right. So the movie was the last American virgin.

And you're good with all these little factoids who directed it and what was based on. and you're good with all these little factoids when you're directed at and what it was based on. Yeah, so, Last American Virgin was a American, sex comedy, teen sex comedy came out in 1982, and it was filmed. The film was written and directed by, and I know I'll get a butcher's guy's name, I think it's Oz Davidson.

And Oz Davidson, he went on to produce some shows, some movies such as Rambo, 16 blocks, expendables. So some of those are some of his more notable films. This was actually a remake of a film that the same film that Davidson did of a film that, of the same film that Davidson did in Israel. So in 1978, he did the last American Virgin in Israel except it was called Eskimo Lemon or Lemon Popsicle. And they just basically adapted it to the American audience in 82. Right, either way Eskimo Lemon or Lemon Popsicle

seems like a password you'd use for your email. That's right. It's not a great film title. No, no, not at all. I don't know why they would even think of a title like that. But I couldn't find how much it cost to make. But from looking at it, I can't imagine that it costs very much. I mean, there were, I mean, porkeys had more a scenery. It's groupiles had more going on than this.

This was a lot of like dialogue. It wasn't so much like locations that I thought, but it made five million dollars. You got to figure it out. Great cost. Yeah. I don't think it came in close to five million. Yeah, I saw this theatrically Way, way back in the day. I was pretty young. I was around 14 I guess I saw it in the the neighboring town's theater and even at the time It will find out it felt relatable. It's like people like to see themselves on screen. I was like there. I am

I want to know what we can get to when we When characters are going to be next, that we're going to talk about, but who was the character that you felt you related to the most? I related to not Rick, the handsome guy. You know, what the guy's name David? Was it? Yeah. Yeah, David, not the fact guy, but Gary, not totally, because I wasn't that, like he's like a munch, a munch like this, he's just like a sniveling little like, he seems dangerous at times the way he stares at girls. He's got the thousand yard stare.

So I think I'd probably fall somewhere between David, who the the fact that he's always joking around and Gary, who eventually comes upon a realization as to who he is, what he is, and how the fucking world works. Yeah, yeah, it was a it was a hard hit lesson for Gary. I unfortunately, related mostly to Gary, just got to say what a snivily weirdo creepy is, but yes, I saw myself in Gary a lot. Totally not Rick, the Patrick Swaisy want to be. I mean, the good looking handsome guy that got all the girls that was far from me. What thing this movie did have? I had one little mention here.

I don't know about you. I don't know about you. I know that you like more of the heavier metal kind of music and stuff, but it had the perfect 80s soundtrack I thought. I agree. I mean, I don't care for a lot of the music, but I was like, in terms of how the hell did they get all this music? It must have been nothing. It must have cost nothing because the soundtrack is solid in terms of 80 style. Oh, yeah, Ariel's feet Wig and I mean, you're ton of them. So the cast there were really I mean, there were a lot of characters

But there were really just some very main characters the very basics was Gary who was played by Lawrence My son monison is that right? Yeah played by Lawrence Monoson, is that right? Oh, poor Gary. Have you seen Gary lately? I did. Just a young forever. No, no, no. But he was not kind. He is what I wish I looked like in high school.

Like just classically handsome guy. He had like the eyes and he like he had the facial stobone structure and the face and all that shit, you know. You're talking about Gary or the good story Rick. Rick I'm gonna say because I related to Gary. Diane Franklin she played Karen. I think out of everybody, she was probably the most notable because of that better off Dead movie. Better off dead and Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. She was one of the princesses, right? Yes. Yes. And I thought that

she really was French because I remember seeing her in better off dead and I didn't see her in anything else and So I it was kind of a funny one. I was watching this movie and I was like, God, this girl looks familiar. You know, when I looked her up, I realized who it was. Vinnie had Steve Anton, who was the good-looking guy, Rick. Joe Rubo, which was David.

And then we had a Louisa Moritz. I don't know why she was listed on here. She was on Wikipedia and IMDB as being the main character, but she was that knilf that was trying to... The Latino six pot. Yes. And when I was watching it, I was like, oh my God, this is the worst accent

that somebody could possibly have, she should have done better. And then when I looked her up, she was from Cuba. That was her real accent. She has a very like, like Carmen Miranda, I guess kind of thing going on. Oh yeah. Very.

Oh, hello. Like that very high pitched, like, sing-songy sort of inflection. Yes, like Charo and. Go ahead. And she was, she was a lawyer in real life. She was a lawyer and an actress and she just died not too long ago and a little side note about her. She was one of the first people to accuse Bill Cosby of dropping the roofies in her drink. Really? Yes. No, did she live to see him? No, the slammer. God, I know. But she was, you know,

I don't know about you. When you look up these people that we see afterwards, like, you're looking at me in a movie and she goes, topless, I'm like, oh my God, she's so fucking hot. And then when I look her up and find out that like she died at 80, right, yeah, it kind of takes her away a little bit. Well, it does because like all these movies were watching, like you, like I tend to forget like this was 40 years ago because you forget how old you are. Yeah. How you saw it when you were 12 or 13 or 14 or 15, you know, and it's like, even though

it was a whole lifetime ago for you, it doesn't occur to you that was lifetime, because that's it. That's the last time you saw her. Like kind of like when you graduate high school. It's like, I hate going on Facebook, because everybody reminds me of how old I've gotten. Like, in my mind, they're all the same as the day we graduate, because I never saw them again. Yes. You know? And the only way you can go on Facebook now is like, you go and you look at their kids, and then if you look at their daughter or their son, and it's like, okay, that's kind of what they looked like. Right. Like summer, like almost identical. Well, you know, and it's weird, you know,

you cruise on Facebook and talk about feeling like an old weirdo, you know, you go on Facebook and you see like somebody went to high school with his daughter, who is now 20 and are like, oh, you know what? She's pretty hot too, you know, just like the mom. I'm not a little young for me, but. Okay. Hahaha. So the basic plot of this story is that you have three high school friends, Gary, Rick and David, who are all trying to have sex with women. That was basically the plot.

And Gary seems to be the one who always comes up short. Gary ends up falling for a girl, but Rick, his friend ends up getting to her first. So that's the basic plot, really. And then we can kind of get into what happens as the story goes on. Go ahead. Oh, no, I was just going to say like that classic tale of the one. This is why like a hot girl will hang around with a couple girls Who are not nearly as hot, right? Oh, my buddy and I we say it all the time. It was pretty girl and then pretty girls friend Yeah, yeah, I don't want to be like, you know, I'm sitting in any in any group of friends. It's like, oh, am I the ugly friend? Am I? Is that why I'm here? Did you ever have I mean you still have your close knit group of friends from when you went to

high school. So I doubt this happened to you. This happened to me. Did you ever have two or more friends that like the same girl? I did. I really have two friends who liked the same girl and one was a Rick type. Uh-huh. And the other was more of a David type. Uh-huh. Heavier and funny. And the Rick type when the girl went for the heavier guy couldn't deal with it. Couldn't deal with it.

He's like, why? And it was like, oh, well, she's not your type. He's like, we talk on everybody's type. Like, dude, I'm not paraphrasing. That is an exact quote on everybody's type. Like, that's the level of Mary. That's crazy. I had a friend like that too, and you know, who seem to always have the confidence and would go up to the girls. And I mean, I still remember it to this day, we were at the mall and there was a girl working at the sun glass hut and he goes up to her and he's like, Hey, you got a number and he's like, yes, he goes, Hey, you want to use it on me?

You know, and it was just like, he's stupid lying, but none of the rest of us had the balls to go and do that. And I remember I liked this one particular girl and he knew it. And I worked at a turtle's pace. It seemed to try and get this girl. And he swooped in and was hitting on her and everything. And he's like, never. World of the fairs, not tortoises. I know.

I know. I was made a turtle soup was made of me. I don't want to go back and just be like, dude, why are you such a jerk off? Like you knew. Like was that the thing in this movie where like we'll find out? Like the two competing guys, I feel like Rick never knew. Like you just didn't know.

I got that too. Yeah, that Gary liked her. So it's hard to get met at him throughout this. You know? The thing I could understand about Gary getting frustrated, maybe I'm looking at it through my own experiences too, is it's like, you know what? You got all these women.

I mean, save some for the rest of us or at the very least, I mean, I'm always hurt. Not I'm always Gary is always talking. And I'm scared. God damn it. No, Gary's always talking to this Karen. So it's obvious that, you know, Rick should have been man enough to be like, hey, do you like her? You know, if that's the case, you know, I'll back off a little bit since I'm, you know, and then he

would get even more frustrated and this is the same thing that would happen to me when he started cheating on the girl on Karen with other people. And it's like, geez, you know, but we'll get to that. You can't win in that situation either because it's like, geez, you know, but we'll get to that. You can't win in that situation either because it's like, hey dude, do you mind not fucking every girl? I like her, you know? So if he's like, all right, I'll back off. It's almost too much like a gift.

Like, yeah, I'll back off and I'll give touch to you rather than like you earning her. Yeah, yeah, no, I get that. Because if you don't have that personality and you don't have that swaggering confidence, it's like, and you're, I'm relying totally on looks back in high school, or now, or any point in my life, it's, it's not, oh, wait, except when I got on TV, after that, I suddenly got better looking somehow. Well, you know, I have the perfect speech plan. If I ever win the lottery, I want

to stand up in front of the camera, hold up the lottery check and say, Oh, no, I was going to say, I'm going to say, I guess who just got a little better looking. Yeah, or I could even say, you know, Mary, pack your bags and she's like, where are we going? It's like, I don't care where you're going. I just want you out of the house. You got to stay with her, man, because she was there. Oh, you was there. She married Gary. She married Gary. He didn't go for Rick and was happy about it. Yeah. Don't you feel sometimes like, I know I look at Mary Beth and I'm like, how many lead paint chips did you eat exactly? Yeah. I do. I wonder sometimes about her taste.

You know, I really do a times feel she could have done better. If not for looks just for like sharing difference from like, I'm not an overly affectionate or emotional person. So I think that comes in the play at times too. But you know what? I think you and I were, I think we're selling ourselves short too. I think we have a tendency to probably be our own worst critics.

We probably are better than we think. Yeah, we are better. Yeah, we're better than the rich of the world. Yeah, fuck you, Rick. Fuck you, Gary. Where are you now? You look faded, bro. So the story opens up with Gary loading up a pizza car, which is a very large pink station wagon Did you find as an Italian? Did you find anything offensive about that that thing up top that like

The title with the pizza weirdo guy. Yeah, I you know, it takes a lot to offend me very very little offends me. So I mean he could have been wearing the wife beater with the gold chain and it wouldn't have bothered me. But no. So he he he works at a pizza parlor and he's making deliveries. So hard working guy, I mean, you know, they gave him the lamest car to possibly drive around in and on top of that, he doesn't even own his own car. He has to beg his boss to use the pizza car. Yeah, and the name of the place is pink pizza. So you don't know if that's supposed to be like

an added insult to injury or what the deal is. He just needs to wear the vagina hat that those people are holding for a while. So Gary pulls into it later on. Gary pulls into a diner or a hamburger stand. I don't know what it is. Our tape is kind of like a meeting place. And he sees two girls ordering ice cream,

Karen and Rose. Karen is going to be the pretty girl that Gary pines over and Rose is pretty girl's friend. Who I don't think is bad looking. We're gonna tell you. Yeah. Given a choice, I'm going to Rose every time. Because she liked him or just because of the looks, because of the looks and because of the personality. She just like she's down to fucking clown. She's DTF. Like that. She's like, she just seemed fun. And in the pool scene, she's rocking a bikini instead of a one piece. Yeah, I thought you look good. Yeah, I agree.

She was, she reminded me a little looks wise of like a little like a Paris Hilton a little bit is what I got from. Like a TV. So Gary sees these two girls ordering ice cream never saw caring before. So Gary sees these two girls ordering ice cream never saw Karen before. Ask the guy serving ice cream, who is she? And apparently she's a brand new student, got the school like two or three days ago or whatever, already has friends.

Yes, weird. Yeah, I mean, I went like four years and still had like the same three friends. I went to elementary school with you. How do you remember me? To say you know me, I wore the shoes in gym class. Remember I got stickers. Gary goes over to a table with his friends and he's sitting there with Rick and David. And they're looking over another table of three girls sitting over there.

If this doesn't personify pretty girl and pretty girl's friend, I don't know what does in this movie. Yeah, like I would hate to be cast as Millie. I would just not be fun. And the other like, okay, so there are three girls. It's Roxanne, who's like, she kind of reminds me of Juliet Lewis. And she looks like she's very cute. She looks like a, she's a very typical 80s, like, hair metal rocker chick type. Then you had Brenda, who was like a blonde bombshell,

and looked much older than everyone else. They look like they're way older sister hanging out with them. Big boobs, blonde hair, kind of like Ditsy, and then you had Millie, which the name alone is just like, that's going to be the overweight attractive friend with the good looking girls. So I'm guessing maybe Millie is the one who owned the car or she had the money, this is the game for everything. I don't, but the thing maybe Millie is the one who owned the car or she had the money. It was paying for everything. I don't.

But the thing about Millie too is when we get back to the, to the house, it wasn't even like she was nice. She was a bitch. That's what I liked about her though. That's really what I like. I loved her detached attitudes. So they go back to Gary's house with the promise of cocaine. detached attitudes. So they go back to Gary's house with the promise of cocaine. And these girls do not look like they'd be into coke maybe. Rocks that you know, two do not look like they've been to it.

But they're like, hey, we're having a party on our house, the Gary's house. We have cocaine there. Let's get let's all go back. So then they go back to the house. Nobody's there, obviously. Gary's parents are out. And the girls are like like so where is everyone? And they're like oh they'll get here. They'll get here. Let's start dancing. So that's when they start dancing So rocks and the good looking girl of course pairs up with Rick the good looking guy the two like you know the blonde Kirby bomb show pairs up with the heavy dude and Then there's really no pairing up by default Gary is now with hanging out with Millie. Yeah. So it is hard to

search for that. Okay, so then they have to come through with the drugs though. Well, what about, you know, what did you think of the dancing scene? I mean, that's just, it's all I've asked you. Have you ever danced at a party, like a party party in a home? Well, if I ever got invited to a party, I probably know I've never danced at a party. I will do this. I went, I asked a girl to a prom and she, her friend was the girlfriend of my cousin and we practiced dancing once at her house. That was it. But never just a regular party, we start dancing. No. I've never even seen it. No. Like, I've been to Kevin's house and he used to have get together some parties all the time.

And like, his living room was huge. Not once. And they had music on. Not once. I see. Nobody danced. Nobody like broke out. It just seems like a such a dated thing. And this was slow dancing too. Yeah. Every TV show that was set like in the 80s, that was the case. I mean, I was just watching Silver Spoons the other day and Rick Hadapardi, Rick Schroeder Hadapardi,

and everybody was dancing. You know, same thing was saved by the bell. They would have a party in dancing. I had never been to a party where people just paired up in dance. I've had a party where people paired up and gone in the bedrooms, but not the dancing thing. So yeah, so I didn't get that. And I mean, my God, you know that Roxanne is ready to party with how she was kissing Rick. The good outcome is his hands all over her ass. and he was an ass man, wasn't he? Every time I met a girl, his hand turned around her ass right away.

Yeah, her ass. I mean, she was French kissing him right away. I was like, I think I texted you and I said, I'm 20 minutes into this movie and this is the best thing I've ever seen. But her playing hard to get was, she's really terrible at it. Oh, yeah, yeah. So you were saying they have to come through with these drugs now because these girls are now asking for it

Like even Millie is like we were promised cocaine Yeah, yeah, Millie wants the coke Yeah, I love Millie's out of two the whole time like when Gary goes to sit with her She's like hey, he's like hey, do you want to? Do you want a dance and She's like I don't care You know, I just I don't care whatever and then anytime he asks her she's like, I don't care. Or, you know, I just, I don't care, whatever. And then anytime he asks her, she's like, I don't care.

And like, her exaggerated eye rolls and shit, I'm like, that's, I think a heavier girl defense mechanism to be a bitch because everybody's mean to you. They're all calling you names and shit. And you're like, hey, can you be the fat friend for the night? I'm not that kind of shit. So I understood her complete apathy to go.

She's like, I know what you're about, dude. I know that you're slum and you've gone hogging, I'm the hog. And this is what you feel you want to do just to bust another whatever. It's just like, that's what you want to do. That's what you want to do. She had such a fucking indifferent attitude towards sex or anything that it's like, you's what you want to do, that's what you want to do. She had such a fucking indifferent attitude

towards sex or anything. It's like, you feel bad for almost. I was actually surprised Gary got as far as he did with her. I could have seen her just like snorting what they thought was the cocaine and then her, just, you know, that was it. But she was still going forward with it, but they were all hiding out in their kitchen

and they were like, we need to come up with these hardcore drugs and they found sweet and low and that's what they decided to pass off is cocaine. They brought it all back to the girls and they all started with the girls, all started snorring cocaine or snorring sweet and low and said how great it was. That's stuff they ever had. Right. Which means it's probably the first time I've ever did coke. But I guess at that time, man, coke was big. Like that was in like late 70s, early 80s. Like that's when coke first started coming to America. And I guess it was all over the place. Yeah. I think that's kind of like with defined the the decade, almost was a pretty much. Yeah, go ahead. So they

they they end up breaking off into different bedrooms after they do the coke. Right. And rocks in and Rick go to one room and it's not long before they're naked and fucking rich pound in it. Brenda goes into a room with David, but then requests that he weighed outside while she got undressed. She's very demure, I guess. Yeah, shy, I guess. I suppose. And then Gary and Miller are still in the couch. She's eating a chips.

The whole bowl of chips disappears by the end of this scene, which I was like, this is so hacky and shitty. He doesn't need to sit there chopping on chips and like Gary's trying to get off her bra and it looks like, how I remember my mom's bra, like with like four, five hooks on that strap in the back to hold up the giant boobs and all that shit. And he gets frustrated and eventually tries to cut it

with scissors. Yeah. And it's crazy, right? I, well you know, I even wrote it down here. I'm like, Millie's bra is like this gray off white color that we, if you think of the old lady Sears bras, this is what it was. Yeah. And if you were able to get it off and start messing with her tits and sucking on her tits,

there's no doubt my mind that that character would have kept eating chips and like, she, like her nipples probably won't even gotten hard. Like, that's how much she didn't care. I don't care. Yeah. No, she's like, I don't care. It's like Bartleby. Like, I would prefer not to, you know.

So typical cliche thing happens. Parents come home early from wherever they were, and everybody starts to scatter. Well, Roxanne comes running out and she's topless. So you get a good look at her and the parents are like, what's going on? And then Brenda, and this confused me, because Brenda also comes out topless, but I'm like, why is she running around in front of other people with no shirt on when she's asking David to go outside

so she can change because she's too shy? Like it seems so contrived. Right. Well, the only thing maybe I could think of is that it was such a shock and they wanted to get out of there so quickly that maybe they just, she just didn't think of throwing something on really quick.

I don't think she knew though, because when she came out she was smiling. Oh really? Yeah, and so was Roxanne. They didn't know the parents were out there. So then everybody runs out aside from David who's already outside. They have like those French doors or whatever. And he's going to wait, I guess, a certain amount of time before he comes back in, and we've seen this many times before.

When this started to happen, I was thinking to myself, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, it's just like, come on, man, like this is too easy. It's been done too many times. But then, so David goes into the bedroom. The woman is like, what are you doing? And you know, and they turn on the lights and they start like smacking them around a little bit

and he runs out and they all drive away. And Gary seems very happy. Like he's not in trouble for having done something like this. No, yeah, he was all laughing and giggling and they were all getting into the car and it's like, dude, that was your house. And soon or later you're gonna be back there facing these consequences.

So I don't know what you feel like you're getting away with. But I did. And I was getting a good deal. Yeah, he was in gave it was in bad with Gary's mother. And then what happened? Then there's the next scene right where they are at the high school. And this proves me totally wrong about what I said in the beginning of this because I forgot that that nerd was spying on girls in the shower Exactly I totally forgot Victor who's a minor minor character Victor is a real nerdy guy that is kind of hang hangs around with them But very fringe fringe front He's peeping on the girls in a shower. He moves us bulletin board and he

He's looking at them and this is this is probably the most bizarre part of the movie. They all start teasing Victor about having a boner And then this leads to them all measuring their boners again With a take measure touching hard cocks like Gary and David I think we're in charge of doing all the measuring and they're all so happy they're all lined up the whole gym class. I did not understand again like if there's just

no way you would do that. Like when I went to school in the 80s there's no way. I don't think there's any way today. This is our fourth or fifth movie that we've done. And I want to say that probably three forts of the movies that we've done have people measuring each other's cocks or touching each other's cocks. And nothing in real life has ever happened to any of us in this instance.

Not that I wanted to happen, but it's just so unrealistic. Yeah, and it's never happened to anyone I know. No, you know. And the fact that they're all maintaining these erections while they're waiting in line surrounded by dudes, I mean, the minute some guy put a tape measure next to my boner, I'm sure it would go down.

I hold it. Unless you're on the blue chew, then there's no stopping it. That's right. It could be touched by anyone and it's going to keep on raging. I like the fact that Victor did win though. Yeah, he has a huge 9.5 inch cock. Which is, I guess since he is such a nerd, I got a very prototypical nerd with the glasses and the greasy face, but I do like he's usually alone, but he seems to be not just in on the joke, but having his own private joke, where like there are moments where you can tell he's like, hey Gary, how's it going with Gary? Yeah, the little passive aggressive,

or even like this when he measured it and he was like nine inches and he goes, wait a minute, it's supposed to have another half inch or something like that to really rub it into those guys. Right. Oh shit. So that doesn't move the story forward one Iota. There was no reason other than maybe to make the actor that played Victor feel a little bit better.

So we're the next thing I have is that Gary is driving by Karen's house. And she apparently writes a moped to school. And he flattened her moped tire so that he could be the night and shining armor to help her bring her to school. Good example of it was the times. I did this. Did you? I did do it this.

Did somebody's tire? I did this. Oh. So, yeah. Did you? I did do it as somebody's tire. I did this. Oh. Yeah. Um, so yeah, this girl that I liked was working at a mall and I knew she was getting out like at 930 or something. So I went and let air out of her tires at one tire and then kind of just waited in the parking lot when she came out and she was getting ready to get into her car.

I happened to be driving by and said, Oh, you know, uh, what happened? Oh, I have a flat waited in the parking lot when she came out and she was getting ready to get into her car. I happened to be driving by and said, oh, you know, what happened? Oh, I have a flatness in that. So I changed the tire for her. So I would have more time to like talk to her and try and look like the night in shining armor. Yeah, I had a go. It didn't work out.

I didn't work out. No, it didn't work out. At least she brought the tire. She had to go out of her way to bring the tire to the tire guy. And he looked at it, he's like, there's nothing wrong with this. I never thought of that. But you inconvenienced her at least.

I'm sorry, Rachel. Or Rachel. Karen, this was a lot of fun. That's like serial killer shit. That's like what a serial killer does. Yeah, that's a factor into the van. I was I was Gary. I was grasping at straws. I was trying to do anything by any means

necessary. Yeah, I got you. Karen, the girl who played Karen was actually deaf in her right ear. And because of that, she could not ride a mole pad. So every scene that you see in this movie is just her pushing the mole pad or standing next to it. You'll never see her on it because it fucks up your balance with having the one here. Yes. That was tiny, but it worked for Gary. He did get to take care into school and they got to have a little conversation to car and ultimately when they got to school, he did ask her out to go to a party with him, but she said he was busy.

So she was busy and then she's like, give a boyfriend, she's like, no, bye. And then just walked so fast. Just a little left them. Right, because he's asking that for a reason. And that's the exact moment when you know you don't have a chance. Yeah, and she's like, no.

All right, see you later. Not like, no, why or no? Like for the conversation. Right. No. Yeah, he should have, he should have followed up with something. You know, what was something or just giving up at that point? I remember I would ask a girl, I remember I asked a girl once if she had a boyfriend and she said, no, and then didn't go any any further and then I remember saying to her, well, since you don't have a boyfriend

and I don't have a boyfriend, maybe we can go out of date, you know, just to see and then I had a perfect line that if she then said, you know, if she, if she turned me down, you know, like if she did say, oh, I have a boyfriend, I would say, oh, you know, all the good ones are taken so that I can kind of just leave with some type of dignity. And I workshopped that line for a while, busted it on a few people, see how it worked. Yeah, see what goes on. Later on, they go to the party and Gary sees Karen dancing with Rick. And this is the first time you hear that song, like, I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough. Yeah.

If his best is deflating a moped tire and then sneaking hurt, like, you know, sneakily getting her to get in his car, that's not that great. That's not that much of a, we got to put him more time and effort than that. It's almost like he was entitled to her. Right. He sort of felt like just because I want her, I'm entitled to her. Well, he figures, you know, I flandered tire,

I gave her a ride, I'm talking to her, I, I, she's new, so she doesn't really know too many people. I mean, it was the perfect storm for him. And he, he let it slip. It didn't, it just didn't happen. I don't think, well, not that I don't think. I know she just didn't feel that way about him. Right.

And there comes a point in time where you gotta just cut your losses. It's like, I would rather here, like I don't feel about you that way, rather than like, you're like a brother to me. Oh yeah. It's just like, we're not close at all. Right.

Why not? Just as a friend. Yeah. That's another one. See Right. Just as a friend. Yeah. That's another one. See, it just as a friend. All right. Well, I don't want to be your friend. Yeah.

I got enough friends. We see it, but you know, Rose is introduced to Gary and we find that Rose likes him. And, you know, if I was Gary at this point, you know what? She blew him off basically when he asked her to the party. She, she's dancing with a good looking friend. Here you have somebody who is, am I interested in you? You might as well have gone with her.

And he didn't. He was still locking in on her. So the point where he's following up. Yeah, he's following her around the party. I mean, she goes to the... It's a stopper, what he does. Yeah, I never did that. But she goes to the bathroom

to like do her makeup and stuff. And he comes and he sits on the counter and starts talking to her while she's getting dressed or getting on makeup on. Didn't that look like a dressing room? I could not tell what was going on at that party. It looked like someone's basement, but it looked like almost like a room

where people who are in a show get ready like for a player something yeah long sort of table or cabinet and then like a mirrors and shit and there was a buffering ad on the door on the door do you see that the buffer inside I was like what what is that there for I mean if you if you think maybe this this party took place in basement, if this was a bathroom off a basement, you can kind of get it because if it's a kid's hangout, you could see they would hang signs and stuff. I mean, I don't know many teenagers that would want to hang a buffer in sign on their door.

Maybe won't. I thought of them when I saw that sign. Gary goes into the bathroom, Rick then shows up while they're talking and really just kind of, I don't think he meant to do it or maybe he did, but he demeaned Gary, I felt. What did he say? Just by making out with her?

Well, no, when they were talking in the bathroom, Gary was talking to Karen in the bathroom. Rick comes over, takes Karen away from Gary, then looks at him and says, hey, buddy, you better lighten up on that drinking. You know, kind of like you can't handle it or you need to just chill out. You kind of think he wasn't wrong. No, he wasn't wrong. Because Gary looks, my note for this is

Rick and Karen make out Gary stumbles around the dance longing for Karen. He's pathetic. He was very pathetic. I mean, he just, it got to the point where he just was making a sloppy mess of himself. Uh, David falls staring at her. He's just like, oh yeah, I don't you know, I don't know why I feel this need to keep redeeming myself even though I felt like I identified with Gary, I want everybody to know I was not this bad as far as Gary's behavior. I just feel like I'm still not living the cake thing down. So I want to make sure that this is thrown out there. Yeah, rather. But he's like, yeah, he's just pushing people around. He's just a very, very sloppy drunk.

David, the heavier set friend ends up falling into the pool. And ultimately, David is the good friend. David is the, well, good friend is the one who brings Gary to his car to get him out of there. He's too drunk to stay at the party. So, would they do? Hold on a second. All right, everyone. We just got interrupted. We were practically zoom bombed by Sage. She went on a Google hangout or Google Meetup or whatever it is with her class. So, if we look like we're positioned differently or it's later in the day, that's why.

Because it is. Yep. Because that's those are the facts. All right. When we last left, Gary was stumbling around the party like a drunken idiot. around the party like a drunken idiot. He stumbles outside into a pool area where I believe he pointed out he gets pushed or falls into the pool somehow. Yeah, I think I think what happened was yeah David or Gary I think might have pushed or turned too quickly and David ended up falling into the pool. So Gary definitely had something to do with up falling into the pool. So Gary definitely had something to do with David falling in the pool. Yeah. And then in a show of true friendship, David walks Gary out to his car. What's the minute? And I think he says like, sleep it off or something Well, he said he goes, you sure you don't want me to take you home

and Gary, who is too drunk to be at the party, was not apparently too drunk to be put into a car and be like, no, no, I'm fine, I can make a hole. And the friend was like, all right, I'm gonna go back to the party. Yeah, I mean, in a move that only a pure shit head would allow. Well, it was the times, right? I mean, sometimes I forget, I'm glad you're here to remind me.

So, yes, so Gary drives home safely, apparently, and gets home and his walk through his front door and his parents are having a dinner party. Yeah, it's like people so stuffy. Yes. That's like, so stuffy. Yes. That's like, I don't remember my mother having friends like this. They were all kind of trashy like we were, you know? Like dressed in sears, clothes and shit like that, you know?

Well, loud and, you know, probably beer bottles, things like, you know, same with my family. Yeah, not like refined with tea and people are like, you know, women are clutching out their pearls at every single comment. Like it's, it's, it's odd when, because you look at these people and it's like, this woman is not that much older than I am right now. Right. I can't even conceive of dressing like this or acting like this. Definitely a stick in the mod type of family. And I mean, even even the party itself was kind of weird. There, you know, no music, no television, just everybody was sitting

like in a semi-circle, very close together. Yeah, and like talking about something boring. Yeah. And so Gary comes in and he's wasted. And I guess for some reason they can't tell right away that he's wasted. I don't know how that happened. But he starts making some remarks to the, do you remember her name? I was going to write it down. I, I, I didn't, I didn't. I could try to find it really quick. But yeah, I don't remember Mrs.

It wasn't now Applebaum. Would that been it? Or Mrs. Ross? Well, something like that. But it was the most derogatory comment she was making tour and I was laughing hysterically at this. Yeah, it was a high point, even though it really is nothing to do with the movie again. No, it doesn't necessarily move it forward.

It's just kind of like it appears Gary can get away with anything. Well, you know, unlike the the the dick scene earlier, which doesn't move the movie forward, at least this one had some comedic presence to it. At least this one may be laugh. Yeah, and you did. You know, he was stumbling around. He this woman who was the friend at the party said, well, why don't you, you know, I think this boy needs a shower and he turned towards that something along the lines of, well, if you come with me, you know, about everybody is like, oh, you know, they're all clutching everything. I mean, it really did. It did make me laugh. And he just did not get into any kind of trouble whatsoever. I mean, the parents, this was the earth thing I found funny. Here he is. He's drunk. What did the parents do to try to get him out of the room? Here, take these empty champagne glasses and go into the kitchen.

Our expectation is that you will not break them. Right. He moved about four inches before they landed on the ground. Shatters all over. And that's the big thing, not him being like, hey, Miss Apple, down, we'll fuck you. Yeah, yeah. You're in a dinner party. Yeah, if you're in a dinner party, or a group like that, and you know,

same situation, you miss five, and he's like, hey, miss five, come take a shower, whatever. Like do you feel the need to stand up and defend Miss this vibes honor? God, I'd be like, good luck with that buddy. Let me know if that works for you. I'm trying for over a decade now. Let me know how far you get.

I would probably try and defend her. I mean, I would also understand that the person is drunk and not meeting what they're saying, but, you know, I did like the fact that I hit this down here too, that he acts so obnoxious that they all look at him and he just belches back at them before he even says anything to him. I thought that was funny. All he does is confirm every suspicion that they had. So and that was the scene. I mean, then the next scene we see they're back in the school, they're back in their classroom.

Right. So once again, that didn't move the storyline at all forward, other than maybe showing how upset Gary was. That's how he's choosing to deal with it. You know, he brought, well, who could he talk to? His best friend is the one that's all over Karen. It's obvious his parents aren't going to be somebody he can talk to. What else could he do? David, that's it. Yeah.

Good vector. If you didn't treat Victor like shit, maybe Victor would have talked to him. Right, yeah. Yeah, Victor seemed to be like those friends that you have that you hang around with when your other friends are away. Right, you know what I mean? He knows it and he accepts it.

He knows his lot in life. He's like, I'm good with it. But yeah, they're in the classroom next and Gary is day dreaming about Karen. He's writing her name on his notebook. You know, he the teacher calls on him. He doesn't know what's going on because he's been day dreaming for the last 15 minutes about Karen. And the student, day dreaming for the last 15 minutes of our care and the student who I believe was Victor, right, was feeding him the answers. Yeah. And not in the slightest way whatsoever. I mean, it literally was Victor looking at him and saying, Al is the answer or you know,

it was like, I mean, how blind is this teacher? And then at the end, Victor gives him the wrong answer. Right. He said to my Victor is a Tony man. Victor is revenge is slow and sure. You know, Victor might be the unsung hero of this movie. Yeah. You count him out because and you discount him because he's a nerd. Mm-hmm. But like they say, the fucking nerd.

Yeah. So I mean, and that was it for that. And then we kind of move a little bit forward to Gary's now delivering pizza. So he must go to work after school and he delivers to the Cuban milk. Yeah, Carmella. Stiffler's mother before there was Stiffler's mother, right? Yeah, and she also refers to herself in the third person quite a bit. Yeah.

Maybe it's a Cuban thing. Good day. She's hot. So she comes on to Gary a little bit and says something about coming back or at some point, whatever she says. But then he's like, oh, I'm going to go get more pizzas and get the guys and we'll go and we'll just all fuck her. And under the guys of like, Hey, we have some more pizzas. Well, and I don't understand either. You're somebody who's trying to get laid. You obviously

are not very good at it, which, you know, I'm empathizing with him completely. You have this chance where you have this older woman who is very good looking who looks like you could do it with her. Why is the first thought your head? Hey, I'm gonna go get two of my body so we can all get in on this. Right. Well, before that, like, I forgot I had marked down, like, when he first comes into our house, Gary, you know, he puts a pizza stand, but then he takes the drinks and brings them and puts them in the refrigerator. Without being prompted or anything, he drops marmalade all over the floor, something like that, you know.

And it gives you an idea of how old this woman is and if she's got marmalade in her refrigerator. And if she's got like, apricot or some shit that I would use. That's the idea, you know. And then when he leaves, he hands her, where there's originals, probably.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, chickens out out goes and gets his friends. I would never do that. No, no way. It's too bizarre. I think it takes an older person to know how to handle more than two people in a bedroom or like a situation like that because their expectations of what's going to happen, I guess. Like, I just, again, never in a situation where it's like me and two buddies are like, hey, you just want to run a train on them or a train on her.

What do you say? And on top of that, he's like, yeah, I'll go third. Yeah. So it wasn't even like, let's do it. I'll go first. He's like, no, no, you guys go in then I'll go. And the sloppy seconds or sloppy thirds thing is predicated upon, I guess, none of them use rubbers.

I think vile. No, it's just, it's just the sound of it is, is disgusting. Why would you, yeah, I don't get, I don't get that, but it must have been the times because this is the second movie that we saw in this timeframe that seems to glamorize sloppy seconds in thirsty thirds and... Usually it was... It was used in like a pejorative sense, like say you're dating a girl,

she breaks up with you. The next guy she goes out with, you're like, hey, enjoy my sloppy seconds. Yeah, that's how it used to be with us. I mean, that's what I would say, but it takes on a whole new meaning, I guess, in this film. But they all come back.

He goes and he gets his friends. I assume that three's done with the rest of his pizza delivery job. Goes and gets his buddies. They have a pizza each. And they go back to this woman's house to, hey, we got more pizzas. Let's fuck.

Yeah. Basically, we brought some more pizzas. And if I read the signals correctly earlier, I assume we're gonna fuck and he wasn't wrong. I mean he did read it correctly. If he was first, he would have popped his cherry. He wouldn't have been the last American virgin. He would have been all right. Second to last. Second to the last. He decides to go third for some reason, maybe to get the woman loosened up or he was probably nervous. I'm sure that's what it was. She shares them

at one point. They're like, no, it seems like they're nervous and she's like, it's okay, it's okay. But then like in passing, she mentions her cell or boyfriend Paco as if they know who this guy is. But it's real like brief and sort of like passing, but she does mention him. She does. And when Paco does show up, it is just like what you would think of a Paco sailor, Paco the sailor man being.

You know, like a merchant marine. Yeah, he's got the little sailor head, the the the the the the the the the the the shirt made out of gene material. And I mean, the other two guys David and Rick Focker. So Rick goes first, the good looking one and he's doing a decent job. He's doing a bang up job. Then David goes next and you could just kind of see the rhythm. I mean, you know, David, he's getting the job done,

but, you know, it's not very pretty. And she has to take a little bit of a break, and while she's taking a break, Rick, or Gary's getting ready, and then that's when the sailor boyfriend comes home. Yeah. Yeah. I asked him at one point point she dances for the guys.

To get them all worked up the dance is pretty awful to right away Rick. He's like he's got to be an ass man because what he's dancing with her hands go right to the S. I mean, I you know it was nice because when she was stripping for them at least she had on like the black tight nice underwear. Millie probably could take a lesson from this woman, as far as lingerie is concerned, because it was, I mean, she's older and the dance was awful,

but I still thought it was pretty hot. Her figure was a little fuller, so yeah, Millie could, but Millie doesn't care, that's a thing. No, that's just doesn't care. It's like whatever. Yeah, I never had that experience. I never had an older woman who was interested in me. I came close once.

There was a woman that was helping me learn Spanish. And I was probably 20 at the time. And that would have put her, I think she was like 60 at the time. But nothing happened other than her helping with me with my Spanish, but she was known around the place that I work that is being very easy. Like Gary, I fucked it up apparently. Like I'll go third. Oh geez, the boyfriend shows up and once again they're all scrambling to the car to get out of there. They scrambling, Paco gives chase and Paco's like slapping them.

Like it's really weird that like he doesn't, he's like, oh, like, you know, it was all done like, uh, in post like him yelling and stuff because they didn't have the sound. Oh, yeah. And you know, and if you look, you could see that he's not really trying very hard to get to them that, you know, they must have said, he listen, you got about 20 feet before they get to the car, make sure he gets to the car, make it as close as you can get.

I mean, the only thing missing from that scene was that the very end, Paco standing in the middle of the road, like, waving his fist like, you can't. You know, the only thing missing from this, I mean, it looked played out, it was horrible. This, this next scene where they go to the diner, the malt sharper way. This is why I thought maybe Gary wasn't, or Rick wasn't

aware that Gary liked her because he's like, hey, I need your help. She won't go out with me unless Rose goes along too. So can you, you know, being my wingman? And that's what made me think like either he's a sociopath or he's just completely unaware. Yeah, you know, it could go either way. He could be just somebody who is so consumed with himself that he just doesn't even consider the feelings of anybody else. So it's probably a little bit of both. It's him being an asshole, but genuinely not knowing because he's an asshole. Yeah. Yeah, that could be be to just as a total narcissist. Yeah

But yeah, they need it they need to go out with the girls so they're at the mall shop and Something happens to the car right Gary was supposed to get the pizza wagon and The boss didn't come through with the car wouldn't give him the car or something So now they hatched this plant to steal Victor's car. Right. The Victor just gives it to him. Victor lends it to him after promises of something or another.

Yeah. From the direction. Yeah. So he lends it to them and then they drive and they go to the point to make out. And I was like, wow, that is the least inventive name for a place to make out. I'm going to done better. I'm gonna done better.

I know. Even happy days was inspiration point. I mean, you could have done a little better. Something. And so Gary and, I mean, Rick and Karen are in the back seat and Karen and, or Gary and Rose are in the front seat. And Rose is like, making them, I like rose a lot, man. Yeah, rose is pretty good.

She was a little sex kid and rose. She's ready for it. She was, she was, she was taking the reins. She, if he just let, if he just went with the flow, she would have taken care of everything. He would have put no effort into it. You could just tell. I think with one or two turns in the correct direction,

rose will have a career as a dominatrix, a successful career. Very successful. I wonder what Rose went on to do usually. I have this stuff, but oh, she's, she was in Twin Peaks. She was the, she was Lucy in Twin Peaks. Yep, there it is. It's at Twin Peaks. Honey, I shrugged the kids, beauty and the beast, Yep, there it is. It could swing peaks honey. I truck the kids beauty and the beast Stewart little screw the street speed to she's got something coming up in production The 420 movie Mary and Jane and then stealing yeah, so so good for her. Yes, it's just yeah She's still still getting a little weight, but she still looks all right She passes my test. I know don Don't you just love how proud the

setting we are. So judgmental. Yeah, we are. You look like a baby now what? It's like the baby will look at you. I'd be like, I know. See, I already know. That's why I feel okay doing it. So what happens is they all start making out in the car. Once again, there's that thing of making out in close proximity to your friend. I don't get it. Two things make me uncomfortable when couples are arguing in front of me and when couples are making out in front of me. Isn't it like a quick like, hey, see you later, kiss is nothing. But if when they're like, well, yeah, that's like, come on, man.

Exactly. So they start, they start like making out and I think it's Gary or Rose, somebody hit the gear lever and made the car, the emergency brake, which being a car person, I don't understand if the car is automatic, why would hitting the emergency brake, take it out of gear. Anyway, the car goes down this hill into the ocean. Yeah, they all bail first. Laughing. And they're all kind of like happy laughing. They think it's the funniest thing ever. And this is a fucking cherry cart, too.

It's not a piece of shit. Nope. It's like a really nice, and comparable Mustang, I think it was. And it's not even there. No, it's Victor. It's four Victor's going to take the bus home. How sad was it when they flashback to Victor,

he's sitting on the curb and he's got like six sodas there. I thought that was funny. But yeah, so the car ends up into the ocean, and they all just kind of get out. And then we end up going to the next scene. They're almost celebratory. Yeah, when Rose or Karen, one of the girls, I don't remember, was jumping out of the car. One of the guys was there to catch her. And they looked almost like they were just like frallicking. Not that you just destroyed this, probably $30,000, $40,000 car. So they're at school next and Rick asks for Gary's grandmother's house key.

Second time. Yeah. and Rick asked for Gary's grandmother's house key. Second time. Yeah, Gary agrees, but later says he can't get it. This is oh yeah, when they're at the mall shop. So apparently the grandmother died, and we find this out later. And for some reason, they still have the apartment, probably just maybe can't get rid of it for feelings

or it maybe happened recently. And apparently Rick wants to use it, like you said, to just go back and fucking Gary's the one who has the key. Gary originally agrees to it, but then kind of decides, no, I don't want to, I don't want to help Karen get fucked. So he's like, I couldn't find the key.

Yeah, and I thought in this scene, he sort of showed himself to be a manipulative dickhead, because it's like either confront your friend about this issue and stopping such a pussy or just fucking let it let it go. Right. You know, just let it go. And then like he turns it around. As if because you're right, he's like, I don't want to be, you know, aid and fucking her, but he makes it seem like Rick's the asshole for wanting to hang out with her. He's like, you know, he and David are both like, oh, you're always with or you're always with her, which is, you know, very typical teenage issue, you know. And then they they brow beat him into the to the point where Rick is like, all right, I'll hang out with you guys. Fine. I'll hang out.

Right. They will they said, we're going to go in, Rick is like, all right, I'll hang out with you guys. Fine. I'll hang out. Right. Well, they said we're going to go to this hooker, this prostitute, who I guess fucks everybody, which with prostitutes do, and Rick decides to go with them, which also shows him being another dick. I mean, here you are. You have this nice girl that you have as a girlfriend,

and you're just going to toss her aside so that you can go with your buddies to go to a prostitute. And I mean, even in Gary's eyes, it's got to be, you know, it's got to be kind of shitty too. Like, you have this perfect woman that I could, that I would give anything to be her boyfriend. And here you are pushing her aside to come with us to go do a hooker even though we're the ones prodding you to do it. Yeah. It is. This is all seen as odd because once again you're talking about three guys who I want to bang the same girl. Ruby the hooker. She also speaks about herself in third person.

And I'm not even sure she's a female. I'm not positive. 100%. She's a jury's out on that one. Yeah. So these are my notes for that one. Ruby finds out Gary's a virgin and is nice to him by stroking his dick until he gets hard. Gary fucks her badly, again without a rubber.

As she talks him through it, by saying, what kind of creep are you? Gary finishes, then Ruby castigates him for absolutely no reason as he slinks away She's so mean to him like for no reason Gary's used to that though, you know, I did date afterwards. Did he get like so nervous or something afterwards like he was vomiting or Up afterwards. Yeah Can you see why I relate it to Gary?

But they they all ended up what happened to all of them? After they fucked this hooker, would they all get? Oh, they got the crabs. Yeah. They all got crabs. So I was unsure from this scene if Gary actually went through with it, if he ended up really fucking her. I mean, you're led to believe that he did, but the way she was chastising him and stuff, I thought maybe he was putting it in the wrong place,

and then maybe he came too early or something, and then she's like, just go. But in order to get crabs, he would've had to do something, right? Oh yeah, I mean, that would have had to at least touch, I suppose. Yeah. You know, bump into each other.

And Ruby, the hooker, if possible, was less enthused about life than millie She was really like just my life is total shit He's too care and you know what millie's real name was Winiford Friedman He looks like a winner for she looks like I mean how bad is it that the name millies actually an upgrade? Yeah, right He looks like a winner for drugs. She looks like, I mean, how bad is it that the name Millie's actually an upgrade? Yeah, right. Yeah, they all, they all end up getting crabs and they decide to go and I actually looked this up because I was like, is this true?

Can you drown crabs? They were all, they show them at the community pool just sitting there trying to drown these crabs that they all got. And this is where the girls show up. Karen and the one piece rose in the fucking snappy bikini looking good. Immediately like, hi, Gary. Like, I don't know. There's just, she's adorable.

I don't know why. Like, Gary's an asshole. Who the, dude, who the fuck do you think you are with those looks and that personality? Who do you think you are? I think he had tunnel vision. I think he had his mindset on that girl. What the fuck do you think you are with those looks and that personality? Who do you think you are? I think he had tunnel vision. I think he had his mindset on that girl. He really liked that girl.

In his mind, he already had them as boyfriend and girlfriend. And that's all he was going to focus on. He wasn't going to look anywhere else. He had blinders on. My one note for this was Gary looks like he wants to devour Karen. The way he's staring at her, it's like Jesus Christ almighty, like how is nobody noticing this? Yeah, it was creepy.

I mean, you would think too, at least even the friend Doug, not Doug David, David would even know because he said, I mean, he said a couple of things to David throughout the movie about Karen. So you would think at the very least that they were all good friends, at least David might have said, you know, Rick, I think Gary has a crush on Karen or something, but you know, maybe they weren't that good of friends or they were all just focused on themselves. Oh, definitely.

Yeah, every single person just cared about whatever, how anything was affecting them. But we learned that you can't drown crabs, which was something that I learned too. Right, you can. So back to the malt shop. Yes. Oh no wait, we go to, well, they go to get a crab medicine,

but it's so unfunny that I'm worth mentioning. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know, you can kind of figure it out. They don't want to say what they have and the pharmacist thinks that they have, you know, it's a fleas for a dog. So yeah, it's not funny at all. So yeah, so they're back at the diner or the arcade thing. Gary S. David, we're carried in Rick R and Victor

says they went to the football field to do it. He doesn't just say that. And this is why Victor's awesome. He says Rick's gonna bust her cherry. Like those are the words he used. He knows what he's doing. Yeah, I didn't until talking to you, I really didn't realize how cool Victor was. So they yeah, they go to the football field and here this kind of gets a little bit creepy. So I never done anything like that. So Gary goes to the football field to check it out,

to watch, to stalk. This was crazy. That my note for this was Gary the Cuck, stars on Rick as Karen's cherry explodes all over the bleachers. So, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I mean, you know, and he shows up in this big pink stashy wagon with a 10 foot tall grito on top. And he thinks he's not going to get seen, which he didn't.

They didn't notice him there. I mean, it's not a very stealth car. But yeah, Rick does pop Karen's cherry. And here, up to this point, it just don't mean out, the last American virgin is caring, not Gary, right? Yeah, it should be. Yeah. That's who the story should be. The title should be Senator Rob. Yeah, so they end up back at the diner. And Gary's like the last one there, sitting there all by himself as they're like sweeping up and cleaning up and Gary and Karen and Rick come in Rick's got to go use the bathroom probably to clean up and Karen goes and sits next to Gary because she sees him sitting alone. Or no, or is it the opposite might be the opposite. which is Rick comes in and reports to Gary that he fucked Karen. Still doesn't, apparently still doesn't know that Gary likes her, then Karen comes in and then Gary

storms off and drives away. You're right. Yeah, because Rick then tells Gary that he fucked her and she's no longer a virgin. But Gary gets really mad and starts calling him a liar. You're a liar. And I don't know why he would think that because dude, like, you know, it's for a fact. fact you just saw it you were just there Not everybody is a possible Gary just hates himself and that's why he would go watch that shit Well, I was gonna say you know, but not everybody's like you Gary some people can pull the trigger Yeah, it's Gary's fault for I mean it's Gary's fault for not reading the initial signal Which was like he's like different boyfriend. She's like no see later

the initial signal, which was like, he's like different boyfriend, she's like, no, see you later. To including this moment where she fucks the other guy. Like, what, what is it? You're not reading, bro. Look, you don't get it. Do right at that point when Rick says that he fucked Karen, he should have been on the phone to Rose to see what she was doing the next day. There's no way he should have still been pining over her. Let's see. So then we're back at school. Gary's at school. He sees Karen and Rick are now fighting in the library. And this only happens in movies on TV where this kind of shit is so quick to be found out. Because I got the feeling this was the next day. I got that feeling too. It was the next day that she found out because I got the feeling this was the next day. I got that feeling too. It was the next day that she found out she was pregnant. I mean, that's pretty quick.

Pretty soon, yeah. That's not going to happen. But she finds out that she's pregnant and you assume that Rick and Karen are fighting over the pregnancy and Rick is just acting like a real dirt bag at this point. Yeah. He's, well, she's like, hey, it's going to be okay. And then Karen's like, well, I'm pregnant.

And then that's what they're arguing about. Rick doesn't give a fuck. And then I guess Karen leaves. And then Gary and Rick start arguing back and forth about it. And at a certain point, Rick's like, you know what you probably wasn't even a virgin anyway. And that's what like that matters. Yeah, like that set Gary off. Yeah, that set him off and they really start fighting.

And this is where Ricky really sounded like like his inflection completely changed into like surfer guy because he's like, oh right, dude, like any time pizza boy, it was a really strange affective put on. I don't know why. They, you know, the thing too is like Rick, when he was arguing with Karen, she was trying to talk to him and he was like Just get out of here get out of here. You're embarrassing me in front of everybody I talk about a 180 from you know a couple days ago or yesterday You just fuck this girl you are her first and now the senior to the point where you're like get away from me

You're gonna embarrass me in front of all the people in the library and this is before he finds out that she's pregnant Yeah, that's yeah exactly before he finds out that she's pregnant. Yeah, that's there, exactly. Yeah, so like you said, he get into a fight. I mean, at this point, Gary is now feeling, he's gotta be feeling like he lost his friend and he's gotta be feeling like he lost this girl. Oh yeah.

I mean, he's thinking. Sure. Now, so I guess Gary reassures Karen that'll be okay and that will help and blah, blah, blah. And then there's a ski trip coming up. There's a big ski trip that everybody's going on. And Gary, instead of going on the ski trip, he tells his parents that he is, but he goes to his grandmother's house.

He brings Karen to his dead grandmother's house reports that she's been dead for over a year and no one has been in the house since. Why would you say that to someone? Like why would they need those details? My grandmother, she passed away. You don't need to know all those finer details. I think Gary just doesn't know how to converse. He's probably not with very many women.

He doesn't know what to say. And so stupid shit starts coming out of his mouth, I guess. Yeah, I mean, he's like, Karen's crying and Gary wants to gun reassures or that he knows dozens of girls who have had this done because you know, they're intramed and that she's gonna get an abortion. Dozens, dude, I haven't seen you talk

to one girl the entire time. So how do you know dozens? Maybe Millie called them to let him know that she was pregnant. He's claiming that he knows at least 24 girls who have had abortions. I don't believe him. We haven't seen him talk to more than three girls in the entire movie.

Yeah, and two of the three has zero interest in. Yeah. So can we talk a little bit about the abortion doctor that they bring her to? Oh, cold, she is. With the fact that they only take cash. They only take cash. She's a real like, and this is where Gary has to suck it up

because Gary's with her and at the abortion clinic, so the woman automatically assumes because Gary's with her and at the abortion clinic so the woman automatically assumes that Gary's the father and is annoyed by it and really is just like real shitty to them like and she's like you have to pay in cash and you have to which doesn't make any sense because he paid afterwards so he could have just been like fuck you and walked away. Yeah, all right, stick it back in there, stuff it up like a turkey. And this was really fucking crazy. This shot that they had in this, I said, the abortion is cut with footage. So showing

Gary trying to scrape up money, abortion footage is horrifying. First, the camera for whatever reason starts on her legs and tilts up showing her full bush, her boobs, and her crying face. And then there's a doctor with like, I was like, there's a doctor with a pockmark face who looks like he belongs in human centipede. And then it goes up to when she's crying and shit. I guess it's to show how traumatic it is. Which is how vulnerable she's feeling. I mean, when they put her in the stirrups and they are cinching down her feet, which I mean, I don't know, you know,

I don't know if that really happens because then they knock her out unconscious, right? They use the anesthetic to put her to sleep. So is there a need to strap the feet in? If somebody is completely asleep, I mean, I don't know. But they then show him running all over the town, doing whatever it takes to try and get money. I mean, like he's reaching into know, he's reaching into cookie jars

and he's selling stereo equipment. He's begging his boss for the remaining hundred bucks that he needs for this abortion. The abortion, it was cost 250 bucks, which I looked up it was today to be about $700. Hopefully somewhere in there. No, I mean, for a lifetime, you're paying for a lifetime of not having to deal with a child. Well, I'm just thinking, too, just a medical procedure for $700.

Yeah. It's insane. It can't even get a war taken off for $700. No, no, please. I braces. Mary just got done with braces. I wish there were $700. But he does scrape together the money.

And, you know, and I empathize with him because this, I know he likes her. This is a real nice guy thing to do. This is a solid. I mean, he kind of wins you back here because he has been a little bit of a shit bird up to that point with his obsesscessiveness and a stalkery bullshit. But here is where he's like, I'm gonna just, she doesn't have anybody else. She's new, I guess, so I'll help her out. I'll skip this. I'll bring her to my dead grandmother's house. How do I mention she's been dead for a year and the house has been empty ever since?

That's what that smell is, Karen. Don't worry. That she's in the closet. I didn't call anybody a kid or, you know, we're still collecting our social security. So post abortion, you know, pays for it, post abortion, they go back to grandma's house. I really didn't understand why he was shirtless

in so many of these scenes. Maybe he was trying to turn around. I mean, moments have turned up portion. It was very odd. I thought that like there are many shots where like, he's just not wearing a shirt for some reason. It's not like he just got out of the shower. He just doesn't have a shirt on.

Yeah, I noticed that too. And I don't know what the reasoning behind it would be. I don't remember how his physique was. I mean, was he muscular? I mean, I don't know. I don't remember how his physique was. I mean, was he muscular? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I wrote, here's my note for this is Gary shirtless reads a magazine as Karen rests.

Like a gentleman, he moves her magazine to pull her shirt down so he can't see her underbooth. You know, like I guess her shirt was right and how he saw it, I don't know because the magazine was over. I said, however, he still purges on her as he stares at her underpants. He sleeps on the couch and makes her breakfast the next day.

And then at breakfast, Frank V, what happens? Well, at breakfast, he finally tells her how he feels about her, and that he loves her, and that he's always loved her, and they kiss. Mm-hmm. that he loves her and that he's always loved her and they kiss. She I wrote she gives him a serious kiss. And I don't know why, but I was like, it looks like he's trying to hold in a mouthful of shit. Like his face looks so weird when he was doing it. It was probably bit vomit. He was probably so nervous.

He must have been, but he was like, it was a little touching. It was sweet, you know, like his, if had he done this a long time ago, who knows what the way it would have went? But he kisses him, you know, nice kiss. Like I like you too. You start, I mean, you start pulling for them a little bit. You know, it's like has she finally seen

what a nice guy he is, is he finally going to get his, you know, the girl, the quote unquote girl of his dreams. I don't know. I, like I said, I kind of pulled for it at this point. I remember, you know, long, long time ago, I mean, I had a friend who was a female and I did the same thing. I put it all out on the line, not the dead grandmother apartment, but I was like, hey, listen if I like you, blah, blah, blah, and I got shot down. So I felt very good for gear.

This was the story that Mary was like, you're not gonna tell us on a pot, are you? No, I mean, look, it happens. It happens a lot of people. When I was in seventh grade, I mean, that's pretty young. I was like 12 or 13. There was a play and I was just a stage ending back, but there was a girl. She was a senior. I don't know why I thought I had

a chance. The only time I think I've ever approached a girl, and this is probably why I never did it again. But she, I was like, oh my god, she's so pretty and look like this kind of stuff. Like I want a fuck her, but like pretty. So my aunt owned a pharmacy in town. I went down there. I picked out this little locket with a chaotic, because her name was Karen, just awesome. Oh shit. Yeah. And I gave it to her and she gave it back. She was like, it's so sweet. And she did what she had to do. Yeah. She gave it back. That's all the pain, but I totally forgot about that until right now. I've never told that story even on Tom Steve Dave. You know, when we shut these cameras off, both of us will probably just stay in the room by ourselves a little bit.

Cry a little bit. Yeah, lamenting our lives. Later on though, interesting. Yeah, right. An interesting note. Later on, there was an accident where like, you know, like those pulley things like you put a rope on it and you like, you know, it's a, it's like a wheel so you can like pull ropes. Like, I guess that would open up and close the curtains. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was up high and it felt and it hit around the head and knocked her out

right on the stage. Really? Not during a performance, but like during a practice. If fucking, I saw it, I was standing right there and I saw it fucking hit her right on the head and she just went down, man. Oh shit. Yeah, she's okay though. I felt a rub while she was out. I was like, it's gonna be my only chance. Remember you said we've been dating for three months. You don't remember? Yeah, right. Right guys, right? You guys all know, right? So this is funny. So yeah, so they kiss and Karen then says something about,

it's going to be her 18th birthday party. And she invites Gary to the 18th birthday party. And he, like I think any guy would think they're now an item, or at least another step closer to being an item. And he goes to buy her a romantic type of gift. Yeah, a little locket. Little locket that says the inscription, to Karen with love.

That's pretty sweet, right? Very nice. And I mean, you know, it was like $250 bucks, I think. Like in today's dollars, something like that. Because it was $80, right? Yeah nice. And I mean, you know, it was like 250 bucks, I think like in today's dollars, something like that. Because it was 80 bucks, right? Yeah, 80 bucks. So I mean, he's just not a lot of money on this girl so far. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And all the time he's spending chasing her, he's not working. Right. He's going to be at the pizza place forever from all the bunnies, borrow from his boss. Yeah, now he's very nervous because the jeweler is like, hey, I don't know if I'm going

to be able to get it done by tomorrow. And Gary yells at him. He's like, what? No, you got to. You know, and the jeweler's like, all right, all right. So the jeweler says, I can get it done. And then we cut to, well, before the jeweler even, Gary goes on, he pretends he was skiing. And from that point on, he's on top of the world.

Like he's a totally different guy. He's not the mope that he's been whole fucking moving up to this point. He's now like, he's got a fucking, he's got steam in his stride. He's got a spring in his step this guy. So he goes, he does a jewelry store thing, and then he goes to Karen's house.

He's got the locket. It's his birthday. It's her birthday. Huge party. For a person who just moved into town and fucked a guy almost immediately. That's why she's so popular. I guess so. Yeah, I mean, it was, it was a huge pecked party and you know, he walks in all their classes there. He's got this, you know, he goes up to his friend, David, I think was the first one, right? Have you seen Karen?

Oh, she's in the kitchen. He's got the locket and I could feel for him. You know, he was just so excited. He wanted to give her this gift. He's like, this is what it was all for this moment. This is so important. That's why he was so mad at that jeweler. The jeweler just didn't understand how important this was going to be. He's ready to seal this deal. Yeah. So he winds his way through the party.

He, uh, he, they're in the kitchen, uh, Karen, but she's not alone. Ricks in the kitchen with her. And they're not talking. He's not alone. Ricks in the kitchen with her. And they're not talking. And he's not talking it's because they're making out. How fucked up was that? That was fucked up. I can't recall what my reaction was like back when I saw it when I was a kid.

But when I rewatched like maybe 15 years ago, I was like, holy shit. I couldn't believe it. Like I was shocked. I mean, but like in retrospect, everything was leading up to that moment. Yeah. I really thought it was going to be the happy ending, literally. But I really thought it was going to be the happy ending.

They were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend and I I remember Mary was we were both laying on the couch She was at one end. I was at the other end and I was watching a little portable DVD player And he had the headphones in and then when that happened and they showed them kissing. I went oh shit She was like wow what happened what happened? What happened? I said, you're not going to believe this. And I was heartbroken. I felt so bad for that kid. It was like that.

He'll probably get PTSD from that moment because not only were they making out, like they're making out for a little bit, and then Karen notices him there, and she stops, and she just looks at him him and the look she gives him is almost like What do you think was gonna happen? And then Rick notices that he's that Gary's in there and he turns a look at him and basically he's like Sorry, sorry, Charlie. Yeah, they both just stare at him for a second while he's standing there with this locket. Like like a total jerk off.

Yeah, even though he's not. He's not like for like every dude, everybody, I mean, I guess you don't want to be pitied as a human like you don't want to fall into that category. But it's like every single person feels bad for you because so many people have been in your situation. So you don't need to feel bad about this, but I understand, because I feel the same way, I'd be so humiliated that I don't know how I could, I don't know how I could handle it.

I don't know what I do. Well, I mean, and you think about it, this girl that you, you spent all this money on that you didn't have, you went out of your way to help her because the friend was so shitty. You got into an argument with this lifelong friend of yours. So I mean, you lost a friend, you lost this girl, you lost money, and on top of it, you're made to look like the fool. I mean, how do you recover from it? It takes years to cover it from there. I mean, you've gained a locket that you can't use but You have to bring it back to the pawn shop and see if you can pawn it. Gary is kind of like how people call them in cells today

Oh, yeah, you know, I just learned this the other day because what happened on the Somebody got killed Oh, yeah, so some yeah some the Toronto the massage parlour somebody went into a Oh, yeah, yeah, and I never knew what anour, somebody went into a business. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I never knew what an insell was until I read about it. Yeah, but like when you think about that movie, you're like, I can totally see him turning into that.

Yeah. That fucking super angry at women. So, yeah. That scene of when he just turns around, gets into his car, starts driving away and he's crying. He's fucking a crying. They broke him. And then the movie just ends.

Yeah. Let me just fucking answer. What does this say that I think this was the best movie we've done so far? I agree. It was definitely the most realistic in terms of like, not the situations as much as the vibe and the feeling and being able to empathize with what so many people in this movie were going through, you know.

I mean, all of those 80s movies that we watched, we looked for bits and pieces that we could kind of relate to. And in this movie, other than some real major points, I mean, we found stuff that we both can relate to, you know, you like you and a girl, not like you, you friends competing over a girl, you know, buying something and having it, you know, basically return to you from a girl. I mean, it's just, there was a lot there. There was a lot there. And then for it to end, you know, basically return to you from a girl. I mean, it's just, there was a lot there. There was a lot there. And then for it to end, you know, I think as humans, we like to see the story

and as a happy ending and it sticks with us when it does it. Like, did you see uncut gems? No, I feel like it's good though. It's very, very good. Because I won't say any more about that. But, you know, you're hoping for a happy ending and when you don't get it, it has a tendency to stay with you. Maybe that's why that Toronto guy went wild. He didn't get his happy. Yeah. Nice. Thank you. Thank you,

ladies and gentlemen. So, so that's it for less American virgin. Frank, I was wondering one last thing I had to ask you a question. Why do you think today in so many team comedies were deprived of all these nice boobs, nice team boobs? But only 30 years ago, boobs are plenty. Yeah. But Brian, it was the times. Pfft!