Tell Em Steve-Dave - #452: Die on Every Hill

Episode Date: August 31, 2020

Bry and his boys retire to a cave to record the bachelor party of the Pandemic. Trigger warning: spotty sound in the beginning.

The only thing I wanted to be was normal. I can feed you more every time I look at you. Oh fuck. Oh, okay. She's fucking somebody. Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave, the Brides Bachelor Party edition. And yes, we were having a bachelor party want to go around the table. Well, I'm here, Brie.

We got... Hey, it's Brian Quinn, co-host of Tellum Steve Dave Frank Frank five Walt Eric Johnson Brother Darren Hello everybody, this is Ming Chun And Troy wow this is This is a sausage party. This is much like any other other bachelor party i've been to which is only two

uh... one was waltz and it was me walton kev going to a devil's game and the other was my brother ariks who drag me to a drag bar it was what was it called it was like ancisees and charlie's he fucking loves this place he was just talking about a twenty minutes was he he really was a joke Charlie's he fucking loves this place. He was just talking about it for 20 minutes. Was he?

He really loves that joy. Yeah, it was we instead of a strip club, it was a immersive David Lynch experience. Yeah, it was it was a drag queen bar, right? But only 65 plus drag queens are allowed. Right, so there was 65 and over which made it even more appealing. I said, I'm not Darren, I asked for on the west coast too long. He just met Frank five. And within two seconds of meeting, he's like, I can examine your prostate. Oh, it's laughing. There's no jokes. It's just weird. Especially Eric.

He said it was like so dead. He's going to go to me. He's going to be over left. I agree to it. like so dead yeah Hey take his approximate age You look cancerous Frank Right I didn't think it was weird. That's the weird thing. It's not weird. You're like, wait, for so many years. Is there a co-pay involved here? Right before we started, Eric, you were talking

about their professional prostate got like models that, I guess, they work at medical schools. So, yeah, a medical school, professional prostate models come and they allow you to stick their finger, you know, in their anus, and then you have to feel their prostate and they're actually really good because they tell you if they're, you're feeling the wrong spot. So they direct you to feeling exactly where their prostate is. So these are guys with a lot of kids.

They're highly played. They get paid like hundreds of dollars per exam. They're highly paid these two. It's like, it's so costly to the medical school. They only allow you to do one exam. Now, I asked do they bring in some unhealthy ones

and healthy ones you guys can feel a difference? No. That would be amazing. Like, I think you're out on healthy guys, you know, me and us, and feel the pressure to somebody. Yeah, that would definitely be beneficial. So if you have a prostate out there that is not healthy, you should definitely volunteer.

No, one of those things, like one day, like every day, to be a practical, same guy, one shot. Yeah, you do, like, basically it's a day set up for like trauma. So you do the prostate And there's like a 75 year old woman and you do a bit of an additional exam on her at that same day And so it's just like complete trauma and you go home and drink yourself. So And so it's just like complete trauma and you go home and drink yourself. So, yeah. It sounds like I would do that. Like, yeah, the old people, you know, thinking about being a gyro collegeist, it's like, it's not just hot girls.

You know how many actual hot girls there are in the world? It's not that many. It's not that many that you'd want to just poke around in vagina vagina with no you know with a medical And then how many and then there's the rest Right and how many of them are gonna go to you and then the US Those are doctors. I may probably it's gonna be slim It's gonna be mostly old women and I guess if you're in the game Yeah, I guess. So how many times did you have to do it? How many times did you do it?

You only have the opportunity to do it one time. Oh, is it? Did you get it right? You know, $50,000 a year, you only have to shove your finger up one guy's ass. Does it officially? I'm gonna sound ignorant. Do only men have frosty? Yes.

Okay. That's not ignorant. That's just like why are you giving it the worst? Yeah. It's not gonna be smooth. We have bumps. Why do guys have one? What does that do for you? Well, it produces your testosterone and we don't.

Okay, we got your retra. So if it's enlarged, what does it mean? I've heard that. The nine prostate hyperplasia, which is the most common reason why men can't piss a lot when they go to the urinal when they're older, right? So it's like you have your slow urinal stream. That's the reason. And what happens if you have a slow one, what do you got to do? Someone's got to get up there and you take a little max.

I mean, you like, oh, there's, there's medicine. It kind of helps you. But I mean, you know, everybody's prostate and the largest in the urinary stream slows down. Is this true bachelor parties? Everybody's prostate and the largest in the urinary stream slows down I Have a few ones on the west coast Golden shower Why is that going to shower going so slow?

You don't think that the medical school could find people who would be willing to do that for free? Absolutely not. No? You don't think there are some dudes out there that are like, man, you know what I love today? People coach you though, they're not like, they're not like you, like I could go up to your room right now. Yeah. You would go out to direct me. Yeah. You guys know I was a little prostitute.

He doesn't know where he's prostituted. He doesn't know how his prostitutes feel. No, right. You can't do it on yourself though and figure it out. I mean, I can't tell you. I can't do it. I just like that. I'm like, shut up. Because I like the guy, like the doctors and training, young doctors just can't do like you do themselves to figure

out what about your roommate? Like a fruit. Yeah, I mean that's it. I guess I mean. Minus furiously before the match. You know, you're never set away. I got nothing. I got nothing. But why are we changing all the wires? Oh

It's like 1880 people here. I'm just trying to figure out this whole setup We're recording the right we're recording Yeah, we're recording. We are recording. Dude, Zooz is going to take you off their website. Then you do a sound check for restarting? Not with all 87 people here. It'll get better as time goes on. When is the very, you know, the shared universe.

This is not a controlled environment by any means, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. So I know we got Darren here. You're not a doctor. No. Not by any means. Do you think Pam and Edgar are proudest of, uh, a Eric? I mean, undoubtedly.

Yeah. After tomorrow, though. Oh, definitely tomorrow. After tomorrow you're the year that shows you tomorrow. You're the special boy. At least for 24 hours. Well then I'll be married. legitimate.

I'm legit now. I gotta say it's honest. Like it makes me feel more adult. Like I'm an adult now. Like it's the first real adult thing I've done. I wouldn't say so. Yeah, I don't know. You stopped the child. Yeah, it's 4.5?

Yeah, it's true. All right, so it's like the fifth adult thing I've done. Yeah, but for some reason, yeah, it makes you feel like, all right. Well, now I got to really live for somebody. Well, what changes do you anticipate being brought out by this new feeling? Like, what behavioral patterns will change? Probably I'll try to be more industrious, make it more money, because you know you got a... Horrible idea.

Yeah. You have an expert voice. I look around the table and I see Ming, I see Troy, I see Frank V, I see Walt, all married men, I see my brother Eric once he was the apple of my parents' eye when he was married. But now look at him. He's falling from grace. Also when you're in the greater LA area, if you're looking for a cool doctor, who has a beach house now. Anna regular house. Anna regular house. Look up Eric Johnson. No wonder Pam and I go are proud of it. As an

added bonus, had no problem with fingering asses. Men's Men's at least, we can assume women. So if you're into that, you're going on that prostate. Yeah. Eric sent me a picture of his beach chalet. Is a view of the Pacific Ocean. Not a little. Something else.

Yeah. Pacific palisades between Pacific's palisades melt. It's worth sticking that finger where I got to go. Right. We're taking it. Yeah, we're in a situation where you're like, this person is just too disgusting. I don't want to deal with this. Yeah. Like I've been in one way, like, like, meth people. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of, like, I've worked in a lot of very difficult situations. I had to pull a, um, unfound tampon out of a woman who was toxic shock.

Yeah, toxic. Oh my. There's a man that has a few daughters or grew up in the 80s when that's all the toxic stuff but he also did off the at-prostance I thought they eradicated toxic shock well not I thought we cured that a 45 year old prostitute that has lost their tampon and presents to the emergency room and you're the medical student and on staff. Oh, and I bet you the doctors love it. They love candles. Oh yeah, you're like, you handle this one. Yeah.

This is a good learning experience for you. This is what it's all about. Did they say things like, they're your first one, but they get used to it. They said, yeah, of course, you know. We got my case. I guess that's what you could call it, but I mean, a haze or just, I mean, that's life. You have to do what you signed up for.

So you knew that was a possibility? No. Just like you didn't know the possibilities when he entered the fire department. Yeah, yeah. He's telling a lot of cooked up pork business shit like that. Yeah, thanks. Aren't you glad that like the career you have,

like Frank five, you're a professor or a Walter mild mannered clerk slash podcaster, that you don't have to worry about falling through a roof and you don't have to worry about a hookers vagina. Well, I mean, I've had to fucking deal with some bloody tampons at the stash, though. Thank you. I'm talking about my cock here. I'm talking about my cock here.

There's I work with two guys who have a fucking cycle, I think. Thank you. Every six. Yeah, actually three. I gotta count myself doing it. Very much myself included in that though. Hey, wait, was Gidham not get the cut? The invite, huh?

No, he did get it. He did get it. Oh, he did. Yeah, he chose to stay behind and work. I'm trying to make him $60 is more important. He comes with his friends wedding. But he would have be getting him. Right?

You need him to get him thingy. Yeah. Well, that's what I had to give you a gift. So now I'm not opening it. That's a thing he wouldn't have had to. Yeah, but he can't show up for wedding. And I could be gift unless somebody here didn't bring a gift. And of course, you can show up and not bring a gift.

Frank, what was the worst gift you got? Do you recall? Or you got? Do you recall or you Walter, you trolling? Oh, I don't think I got a bad gift. You know? I was talking to this couple the other day and they said that they had a pretty decent size wedding and a couple gave them a teddy bear. As they were, she was like, it was probably like $90 a plate

and this would have been in like the early 2000s You know and they gave him a teddy bear and I was like I wonder what like what's the thinking behind that? There isn't any Thinking like oh shit. We forgot to get them. Yeah, they saw a bit of harness it. Yeah Yeah, I got some weirdly like the dazzle like box Yeah, I got some weirdly batazzles like box It was a wooden box it was like 12 by 12 on the top it was called color like these little crystals like but they don't So it was batazzles Anything in the box, maybe no empty box with all these little fake jewels on it to keep it

Maybe the jewels were real You probably threw away real jewels. They're right. Like Walter, if I were to ask you, who's the most alpha dude you know in real life? In real life? Right. I can't say myself, right? No, excluding myself.

I wish you would. Who's the... I would think it was you. Oh, really? No, I wouldn't have thought it was you. I've gotten soft now that I'm married. Yeah, definitely I was you at one point for 50 some years. Brian Johnson, which I met Mary Beth's father. Right. Does he know how all your because something he said to me I met him at least me to believe you didn't tell me your real age. Right as I he graduated in 1995. That's not your 50 and I was like, what is that 50? I was like, I want to kill that mother fucker. Mama, get my gun. He said, I bet you're Brian being 50 years old, never believed he would get married.

And I was like, he's not 50. Are you wearing the mask? What benefit is that to you? I don't understand. I was calling the words. I was just like, I didn't know what to say. It's the honest walk. I said, then you didn't have to say anything at all.

I thought it was right. No, it is another Brian. It would be Brian the Shell. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's a big alpha dog. Much like myself was big alpha dog. Well, he puffed himself up to the one. You would have thought so, right?

He had me tricked up until three days before the wedding when it was said that he was not allowed to attend. He would be here right now. If only. If only. If only. He had balls? If he had some balls on him. Yeah.

It's right now what he should be doing is finding the nearest female's vanity, digging deep and grabbing a maxi pad. You know what's really funny is you throw a wedding in the middle of a worldwide deadly pet bed. And you're like, what an asshole for not coming. I'm a Tuesday. The world has seen the likes of this since 1908.

I'm like, what a pussy he is. 1908, the year the Merry Best's father found out Brian. So, yeah, he called me three days before and I could tell he was torn. He felt bad, but his wife was like, it's me or Brian Johnson. And he didn't choose Brian Johnson. Now, the old alpha in the shell that I knew Would be here right now. Well get used to fucking you know fold in like a card table like old Michelle did because From the guy that pulls the diamond from the bottom of the fucking coal pit, you know, that is hard. No, Walter. I told you like a mother fucker, can I remember? I remember being 14 years old and seeing you pull up with your girlfriend and being like,

God damn, how do you do that? Wow, the original pinpo over here. Yeah, it was, I was very impressed with Walter. We'll look at him in time. He met Debbie. Oh, thank you. I love this guy. I love this handsome.

Even though you're like, I know why you're probably the best guy. I talked to my psychiatrist friend who he agrees that Brian's probably the most alpha person that I've ever met. That I am? Yeah. Wow. You know, there's more. How was he lying about drinking since 12 noon today? Oh, no. I don't know where's my face right here.

You know, it's horrible to grow up with them. Because you come home, and the girl you've been sweating for fucking the entire year, within two minutes, holds up her top and shows her broad. That's right. You might want to cut that off. Yeah. That's not working.

Oh, man. All right, but what you did, I appreciate really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, I'm really, Bridge Beach baby. How you did it, baby? I know, and to this day. I'm not in the same way, so somehow it turned. Frank, what advice do you get? Two decades married now. Yeah, 20 years I've been married. I think being honest is the best device I can give you. Yeah, definitely be honest.

Unless they're waiting. They're waiting. Don't be honest. Don't be honest. Oh, do you think I should just shed a couple pounds? Yeah, don't say that. No, it's a yes. No, please.

I did that yesterday. No, no. What happened to you? No, no, I didn't say that. No. Yeah, I think honesty is the best. Yeah. What about that fault and advice I gave was that?

I never, you know what? No, I don't fault. You don't fault? No. Yeah, I noticed that about you. So, I'm asking you. I'm asking you. Yeah, yeah.

You're so awful to advice. That's what I have to say. It's competition. Yeah. Be up in the kitchen. Yeah, you gotta see that girl's skinnier. Oh, we're like, you don't have to say anything, just look and then get caught looking.

We'll get caught. We'll just be like, we could be skinny. So we've gone around a table so far, Eric does not agree with any of the, of the married guys advice so far. We're gonna have Troy. Pick the hells you wanna die on. Just throw away, and fold at the right. Oh, yeah, right, right.

Pragmatism reason goes out the window, just be prepared to be like, you know fold at the right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you.

You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. You're too manly to argue with you. is your valley. Yeah, that's on the Johnson crest, isn't it? Yeah, I think I've lived out these these are our hills. I think yeah, you could say that Edgar like he tried to make every hill his own and Pam was talking like a

Yeah, I was a worry. That was a weird house to grow up in in terms of like, like strange, aggressive behavior all that. There was always like the looming threat of something that was going to happen, right? It was just like the other she was about to drop it any minute. It's like an charlotte. Right.

Have I mentioned that? I mean, I'm not. We should have sat in the charlotte. It's like Ann Charles. Right, right. Have I mentioned that, yet? We should have said that, and Charles. Yeah, that's that, you're saying it. That's agreeing with all these dummies, right? What is your advice, then, Eric? Because you seem to have a different take. Yeah, after my claps marriage.

Yeah. And my, do you want to go into the great detail Yeah, I was thought to hear all about competition Yeah, you should have made it feel no matter how comfortable you make her it doesn't matter anything else The only thing that matters is knowing that you can leave her Or is it her knowing that you can leave Or is it her knowing that you can lever? Yeah her knowing you can lever room and you know you can lever and then leaving right bud I'm actually doing it And then just keep her in fear I'm just going to be a nice Johnson.

This was when they were like, oh I know about when your brother's on. He took a heel turn late and I took brother. He just knows the doorbell Johnson. He salted up to the table with a bottle of Jameson. He used to be the French bulldog, Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. He's my dog.

Yeah. You do better run away. Yeah. I look around this table. I see a lot of rings. I know. Folded in half. You know, as far as he's looking at us going,

what do you know about it's a six-fold marriage? Shitty voice. You find out that, like, how'd you kept your wife and fear? Well, you don't fear fear fear. Oh yeah, like chiver. Like I actively tried to keep her out of fear. Yeah, because like you're the only one honey. Yeah, I know. A very successful person. So it's like so I tried to downplay that for her. And it fucked me. Oh, yeah.

Because she's like, I'm on, I'm on, I'm on even Keele with this guy. We're on the same level. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I tried to make sure to feel like she was irreplaceable. That was a hard, hard, horrible strategy. Yeah, I tried to make sure to feel like she was irreplaceable. That was a hard, hard, horrible strategy. I'm basically trying to find out my next folding.

We're so fortunate. Because I feel that works. I feel like he's very happy when I do that. I can't, I can't, if it comes along and I miss it, I'm dead. Let me tell you something Around Walt's neighborhood quite a bit I'll have you arrested for That itchy finger yours There's a favorite with a brown finger in my neighborhood

So do you fold, Frank? No, he said he doesn't. No, I don't fold. No, no, no. No, if I'm wrong, I'll, I'll fold. We're not folding, then. You're just kidding. Because I'm wrong. No, I very, very rarely will fold. Stop doing that. But I will admit, you know, I'll stop that. I will say this, if I am wrong, I will admit it and I will apologize. Don't never apologize. That's horrible, horrible thing to do. I mean, is there any literally a huge more science to other people telling you right now, it's a horrible thing to do for a man to apologize? That's don't never apologize. But even if you're wrong, even if you're like, no, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.

It should be apologized to him if she's wrong. Yes. That's acceptable. I'm probably going to lose my license. What do you think all this thing? I've got to get your, you know you're married, right? Most days, yes, people remind me constantly, yes. Yeah, the lovely Debbie Chen couldn't make it, unfortunately.

Yeah, I find it odd that, if you guys would have told me 18 years ago, as I was getting married, that 18 years later, Brian Johnson, became married 20 minutes north of me, and in the state of Maryland, I wouldn't have believed it was so weird that you're you're you're I got married like 20 minutes from here in the town go for a few days. Almost my my anniversary is let me think. No

August 31st 2002. That is very close. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, why why down here? Why are we in Maryland? She just went online and picked like a place that would be equidistant kind of from from everybody from yeah new Jersey in Ohio And she's this is the place you like yeah, it's pretty cool What's it called? It's the oh the grammar see mansion in Baltimore. Yeah, it's a nice grounds and everything We got a pizza party tonight and we'll take a funnel cake truck. A funnel cake truck, yeah, I like it, but yeah, 18 years, I've always made it 18 years, I think I just not in smile at this point. Yeah.

So yeah, it's not unlike what I do the most white people trying to get me to do stuff. I just Mean you're the most successful out of anyone I've ever seen in Maintaining a lifestyle that most married men would be like that's that's not in real life. That's like a movie That's a TV character. Is it that bad? I mean not anymore because the pandemic, but I've cut it not been for that. I mean, you were gone like every other week. I was. And you're not just gone like a businessman is gone.

You're gone and then you're on Instagram like with hot girls and like out at bars and getting free coffee. I'm a living man. I'm living. It's called living. What's your wife look like? She's your picture.

Yeah. Ah. Ah. Ah. I can's in a picture. Ah! Ah! I can lie in a parent's house. What is it? Johnson Family Trade. I love you some Debbie Johnson. Oh God.

Yeah, she was not to come this week, which bummed me out greatly. I would have loved to see her. She didn't want to quarantine when she got back. Yeah, she's by the book. She was like, oh man, you get back. You get a quarantine for 14 days. I'm like, really him? I know. I Yeah, she's by the book. She was like, oh man, you get back you got quarantine for 14 days I'm like really him. I know I mean I'll play safe, but Yeah, I she teaches little kids so she didn't want to get them sick

But I'm like it's it's for Brian Johnson. We never thought we'd see this day Talking to Brian the shell Do you have any words of advice for the man? I just nod and smile for real. That's what you're telling me to nod and smile? Just nod and smile. I'm right out of the gate. I have to get into 18 year old married mode. I'm just like, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's where it ends up. Eventually, that's where it ends up. If you last this long, just say, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Any close calls where you're like okay that's it man no no no never like so angry at each other no no not that it's never gotten that bad

hmm it's never gotten that bad I learned I told that story remember about my parents my dad got the video camera and my mom and we're a Disney world and my dad's I guess that we're getting a divorce and we're in line. Oh, yeah, we're in line for like it's a small world and shit I think that was I'm one of the Christmas episodes Yeah, I saw that I was like oh man, I can't put my kids through that what a horrible thing to do That's how you keep them scared right? I mean I'm a puppy yeah? Yeah. I'm very like this wife. I mean, I might be. Yeah, my parents are still together.

Fear. Fear. Yeah. I mean, if you ever get divorced, give your wife my phone number. What would you give me your wife's phone number if he's like, yeah, you can have her right now if you want. I was like, I'm done with her here. You can have a right now. I was like, I'm done with her here. You can have a...

So this was a blindsided thing? Or are you sort of coming? No, he got cut. Yeah, I got a fucking blindsided. Oh, again, big time. Where are the horns? I wouldn't even say it was big time. From what you told me, it wasn't big time.

It was a... No. It wasn't anything like nothing like you're thinking. What's big time. It was, um, that, no. It wasn't anything, like, nothing like you're thinking. What's big time to you? Like you come home and you're like, you're just completely happy and all of a sudden, she's like, I'm out of here. And like, you had no idea that she was ready to leave?

No, there was like a little rumbling like, and then I thought, oh, it's COVID. She's not working so much. And then it's like, oh, fuck. Oh, okay. She's fucking somebody. Well, you don't know. What's this big time as you thought?

That's pretty big time. Yeah. Does it get much more big time than that? But from what you told me, there was other things involved with private investigators, not hired by him Not a hybrid me, but I know that the father's been of the other People show up at my fucking house. I'm a respectable doctor. Yeah Neighborhood does not have controversy and people are showing up and you had no idea why they were showing up You just get just like blowing my private investigators, but you didn't know they were private investigators

No the wife of the oh Yeah, just boom blowing into my driveway It's harsh key to car Key to his car But I liked that your mind went to like well, I should fuck his wife Because we talked about I was like that would be my first thought is like that's, I should fuck his wife. Yeah. Yeah. Because we talked about it. I was like, that would be my first thought. It's like, that's all I'd want to do. Yeah. Yeah.

I'd like to say now he never knows if I didn't or he didn't. Right. We'll just have to take her word for it. We'll just have to take her word for it. Yeah, I'll just have to take her word for it. Was there another guy or a doctor too? Because I thought, this is what makes me even worse. Oh my fucking god. Well, you're trying to drive me down into the fucking ground.

Like, how can you get in a doctor? That's only my doctor. A professional football player that teaches other fucking doctors. There's like a super doctor. No, he doesn't. He teaches other doctors and we're going to a fucking hospital. No, he was a doctor. He's not a doctor. He's not a doctor. So we're going to fucking hospital, and the fucking mouth director. You're the fucking judge. This guy was a sharpest.

He was a prostate model. He could be that successful. He was a handyman, man. He's the fucking guy that comes into your house. Fixes your eyes. Fix your fucking... Wow. Fix your wife.

She's your fucking UPS driver! Hahaha! Hehehehe! It's like the fight club. It's like we're everywhere. Do not fuck us. Do not fight with us. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life.

Wow! So that's the fucking bachelor. Thank you. You need to remember. Well, yeah. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life, motherfucker Well, tomorrow I'm just like look bitch. I was talking about the other Eric Things are gonna change You think I'm fucking around

You think I'm fucking around. You thought I was on the edge before? Yeah, I'll interrupt. You don't even know. I was like, yeah. Like that's right after we say I do. I'm in front of you. You shouldn't even fucking say I do. You should just nod.

I'm in front of you. I'm in front of you. You should just nod. I thought it was frequent spoken to. I'm fucking submissive. Fucking bullshit, man. You can't fucking say that. I'm showing my frequent spoken to. Spoken some missing fucking bullshit man. You can't fucking say that. I'm showing my underbelly. Yeah, exactly.

How recent is this? You would think it was like minutes ago. That's the recent, that's the recent. That's the recent. Yeah. So I like what you approach now like with women. I mean, surely like once, like she's regained your senses.

I don't know if you want to get him on tape talk. I mean, it's got a career in all this stuff. It's a great fit. Let him know like, do you, yeah. Do you do like a dating app? I can see, because like, if I didn't have anybody, I couldn't see myself doing a dating app. I'd a doctor on a dating app.

It would just be like, your phone would blow up, fucking constantly. Well, they would be like, or they'd be like, you're just gonna take a war with me. Yeah, I was looking to watch the beach. So my friend, he has the same exact job I do. He's a doctor, and he's a dating app.

He's better looking. I am. Oh, he's his age. Better looking than him. But, ha ha ha ha ha. Dang. But, uh, fucking, yeah, he fucking yeah is just a blow up that thing. Yeah blow stuff like crazy. Dude it's same thing's gonna happen if you can

on that up. Yeah but all these kids these girls say have all kids and fucking and the kids draw us in the Johnson's we're not good with kids. Yeah we're not gonna be good for anything serious right right? You're just gonna, you're not looking for anything serious? We Johnson's get drawn in with kids. We can't look at him, look at him. Darren and Brian. Yeah, take care of a couple of kids. Yeah, I know.

What's that, that paternal drive? Yeah. To take care of people. Yeah, to take care of other people's kids. That's what we do. There's nobody to care of us. Wow. Wow.

Oh my God. That is welcome. So right upstairs, I should go bar their door and light it up. I don't put hell on fire. I need it too. I need it too. What did you do?

I made it right. I needed you. What did you do? I made it right. All right everybody let's take a break in the action just for one short spot. We're talking about care of, talking about vitamins and supplements delivered to you. And what you do is you take a quiz, very short quiz, and then it's sort of personalized around you. So care of, recommendations come in daily individual wrapped packets that are perfect for getting into a vitamin taking routine, quality you can see and taste. They're super transparent about the research and sourcing behind all their products. So, if you go to their website, you can read all about it.

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the code TSD50. For 50% off your first care of order that's takecareof.com enter the code TSD50 that's 50. We were at dinner one time and we were talking Johnson stories and you're soon to be ex-wife wanted to confirm a story with me about Pam going crazy. And I can't recall what she was going crazy about, but it ended up with her in the closet trendest ever My god, I don't remember and it could be any detail. Oh, we only got it. Yeah, the number of times Yeah, I'm not very vividly this one time she was upset

She was like I got off because we were doing something and we knock it off evidently. And she's like, I'm gonna kill myself. And she goes, I remember going into her bedroom in an interclass and she's sitting on the, on the closet floor, like sticking a, like a steak knife into her stomach. But like not hard enough to really do any damage.

You know, like, enough to get her children to put their hands on the dangerous blade. You're probably not stamping herself. Does that get the unreliable boys to clean their rooms? If so, then, you know what? Hey, it worked. I don't know. I don't remember doing anything productive. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a rough house. I mean, you think about if you were 21 when you had your kids. Yeah, they were your parents were young, right? Yeah, they were pretty young. And then two years later, they have another kid. And then 10 years later, they make two more mistakes. Nobody's playing. What was that part of your guys' religion that you just kept having like, to have so many kids?

Yeah, or like Irishmen. She never had such a fucking pump in a mouth. No, it's, it's, she has borderline personality disorder. Who pay me a thing? Yeah, first she's pretty nuts. Tinker no. I know 100%. She has borderline personality disorder. I mean, that's a pretty...

She's not officially your patient, right? She has four-drawing personalities. I mean, that's a pretty... She's not officially your patient, right? That conflict of interest was... No conflict of interest, but you read the writing on the wall. You know, it's like... She would never let your medicaid or either. You have medicaid that shit out. I thought for sure that she had ADD too.

I don't know, man. She memorized entire college essays and graduated college, after I graduated college. And I mean, how do you have ADHD? And you can memorize a three-page essay. Yeah. That's pretty smart. But she doesn't have, I mean, she's smart in me.

She doesn't have, who, mom? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I can't. She doesn't have who mom. Yeah, I don't know I mean, I can't really weird. I was like, I don't know what that memory is memory Yeah, I was like, I would throw Tracy's memory in with mom's memory when she's actually studious I thought you're gonna say their way the remember shit Yeah, it's like that's not the fucking way happened at all all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tracy, I mean, Tracy was quite smart when not dealing with, I got, I don't know, not educational aspects like a fucking boy, friends, husbands, children, all that shit, she's fucking not

quite up to par, but her educational pursuits. Would that be considered street smarts or no I wouldn't say that street smarts or smarts but you did have books smarts though you say yeah it was something she's a lot like mom in that sense that that she was good at school yeah but 30 years ago but then again was it's like oh I have to get married, I have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have

to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have

to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have It's not a boob in the fight. It's like that in an alpha game. I thought it was an alpha game. Who the fuck pick this impressionist artist fucking place? As soon as I fucking walked in here, I knew your fucking bride pick this place. You mother fucker pussy. You're an alpha bride, I was a fan of you. Because I was like, but I like this for you. This was like, we're Edgar Allan Poe married is 16 year old cousin.

I like, but. So it's in sheen. Yeah. No, they're giving me some other tour. What's that? Yeah, they're like, this is a pressionist, your arty girlfriend picked this place. Oh, yeah, she did why the fuck would I want to involve myself? I barely did anything for it and to me I'm like, what's what a fucking man does? It was nothing

She wanted to do it. So I'm like go ahead and do it See it's all about the way you present it though You're he says in a way that it sounds alpha dog when I fold it and let her pick Everything was because I had no choice. I have Second choice Out It was on Colorado because of the COVID stuff. Yeah, so it was in a woman that shut them down. It was a fucking worldwide man.

It was a cheese. To which point he was like, you know what, fuck it. Have your way out. It took a pandemic to neuter me. Yeah. Or make you indifferent. Yeah, but you know, even with the place in Colorado, which would have been the Stanley Hotel where Stephen King wrote

the shining, it's like, obviously, like I had a hand in that, you know. I don't think there's any impression I started on the walls there. No, I knew that was your fucking influence. What? Then I got here and they're fucking giving me the tour and they're like, look at this fucking fluffy painting. This fucking fluffy painting. Yeah.

I'm like that, huh? Fuck. I'm like, where's the picture of the guy fucking his cousin? This is so much different. Maybe on your phone. Yeah. You know, the old Eric would have been like, oh, I'm going to MoMA and like,

had his nose in the air and shit. He's having a rediscovering his white trash reach. It was like last a one and a stinky pinky. Now it's an index finger because it's long enough to reach the cross. It would be nice if Eric moved back to the East Coast, I think. He was just talking about it. And he was like a more familiar face. I think it would be nice if Eric moved back to the East Coast, I think. We were just talking about it. And he was like a more familiar face. I think it would be fun. Yeah, like you can introduce you.

Yeah, we can get you out there. To center I.J. fans. I'll get you on an episode of I.J. No, that'll be fun. Yeah, yeah. Start doing conventions once the virus is out there. So your picture for me America's best known massage

Everybody needs a gimmick bro Now it works for some ladies. It'll work for some. They don't all hate it. Right now with all your talk of keeping women in fear and not being reasonable with their demands is like getting some girl out there all excited. You're on your way.

Yeah, like when you're talking to your patients, is it like do you dispense this type of advice or this is? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's it's a totally a much happier when I do it. You're basic advice. Yeah, you can't ever get the best base done. You're trying to lead them in a direction. Yeah, you know, you look at them for themselves. No matter how bad or how good they are, you lead them in direction that's best for themselves. Have you met some bad people that you're like,

how do I even want to ask this guy? Yeah. You don't care. What are you gonna care, man? You can't care about that. You just, you just't care. What are you gonna care man? You can't care about that. You just You just give people the best advice for the direction for themself You and usually it makes themselves better

hopefully, yeah You know you meet horrible people Do you see a lot of people getting off math once you're like a hey, stop taking meth through to the like, I'm gonna just take meth, okay? We get them to stop smoking pot. I mean, yeah, no, meth and meth and meth and meth is something. I mean, I see a lot of meth and like, people in meth, 30 fucking years, and that shit is addictive,

but you try every day, you just go in, you just try to stop them. So you're going to do Walt. You know what, you know what, you know shit, you gotta just, it's like, how am I supposed to ask him, am I paying you with, what am I going to do? Somebody comes in every day, they're asking you for a backstreet boy comment, what are you going to do? You're gonna try them So then your job is kind of like choice

You're doing the same thing right? Except it was somebody's a piece of shit you get to toss them in jail. You don't have to sit there and help them. Yeah you just have to wander if they're going to jump over the desk and stab you to death. Yeah I wonder who statistically who is a better chance of getting stabbed out of you too. Probably me. Yeah. He's trained. Probably me. I would definitely save me Do you have any like what you remove if somebody comes at you with a knife like get stabbed? My name is to curl up

Hopefully not take it in the kidney off of you Xammas prostate. Yeah I'm a certified blood sugar. Yeah, I get stabbed and I shut my finger up the rest at the same time and say, wait, you have prostate cancer. You want me money? I can only save you. Don't stab me again. So is this, if we had a regular bachelor party wall, how much are you allowed to get away with?

Like how far can I go? Like, okay, we're gonna watch a stag film is much different than love. Can you still do that? I mean, we could bring it back. I thought you were going on my own. Yeah, so you're like, you're so sad stuff. It would have to be in black and white.

I'm probably like, it changed the screen setting. You're like, no, no. What unit has to be dead a minimum of 60 years. It's there. Trust me. It's out there. Yeah, I probably would not be at that kind of party. In a, you know, in a COVID world, though, I mean, you can't take a chance bringing in that kind of party. You know, I'm sure this fine establishment would not allow you to bring in the kind of... A projector. The pineals. The women that...

Yeah, I'll call you that. We're like, woo! Like, I like guys just to gather and watch like soft core porns together and cheer and smoke cigars. It's creepy. Yeah, it's so weird. I mean, when you say it like that, it sounds like it might be fun. It could be. You could watch the Happy Hooker 1, 2, and 3.

Yeah, we're like, we stayed up so late. We watched movies together. Did you have a bachelor party, Frank? I did. Yeah, what did you do? Upstate, we have something. It's like a stag party where people will pay for tickets and the money goes to the groom. So they come, they have like a big buffet party where people will pay for tickets and the money goes to the

groom. So they come, they have like a big buffet and all that and it's you charge like 20 bucks a ticket and then at the end of the night, you know, they'll have like 50, 50s and stuff like that and all that money goes to the groom. So yeah, I get a bachelor party like that and then afterwards we went to the strip club. Yeah. I went to the strip club. You went alone? No Because if I went alone, it would make you sound like a loser, right? I don't think you're gonna ask Shine Eric I wanted to ask you when tomorrow when the ceremony is happening right I Want to get I want to get your approval of this before I do it. After the Reverend or the man of the faith

that announces your man and wife, I was gonna stand up and scream, tell him Steve Dave, would that be appropriate? That would be the best thing. Yeah. If you hadn't told me in a minute, I would have been like, I didn't think, I could not have dreamed of a moment like this.

I would have thought it awesome. Like, everybody startled me. Oh, I can't. I wouldn't. I thought it was so fitting. Yeah, but this is a classy place. You don't do that here. You can jump up so fast you'll pull ahead.

He hasn't said I do yet. Oh,'re gonna try to talk to you. I'm sorry Mary Beth. Are you worried now when he asks for the objections that there may be somebody in the room and they have something to say? Oh if you continue drinking like this, yes. I got something sir, she's scared. Why is he asking? If no one has shit to say, why is he asking? Because he never knows. I wonder how frequently it does happen. Where's somebody objects?

We're about to find out. They don't do that anymore. Do they do that at your wedding? I don't remember. I don't remember if that was if that was still in the in the vows or the reading by the playbook. I don't think it's in the I don't think they do that anymore. What about love and obey? Is that shit still in there? I think that yeah that will be in there. Did you guys write your own vows? Yeah Oh, you did. Is there? Is it? I'm going to record it.

Is it? Is it, is it, is it, is it from the heart or is it more for the like you're playing to the audience? Well, if by the audience you mean like you guys, it's a half and a half. OK. She wrote her own too nice as well Now what kind now is it a is it a man of the cloth doing the ceremony or is it a man of the robe?

You're Tell me that yeah, I could be the dark about everything Eric's my real status Are you a fellow brother in the... Yeah, universal life church? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow! How many people have you moved? This is my first.

Ooh, that's a lot of fucking... I have many different versions of the speech written, so we'll have fun in later episodes of something jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was too risky for the Johnson wedding. We had to cut some. I can't imagine a joke that's too risky for the Johnson wedding. If you're reminding myself that that Mara Beth parents are here. And her grandparents. Yeah, let me give you a couple of really.

If you fall ill by any minute, I'm also also ordained I can pinch it for sure Cliff mincee chin right here One is well. Yeah, Mike's so Michael be here tomorrow. So like if you fall ill There's like five other people like a man and a bill. There is something like that. I'm not saying it's an exam. It was a ring all right. Did you have a bachelor party, Troy? Yeah. Well, cheers. We went to the bus and went to a landing city.

Gamble went to a steakhouse. That sounds manly as hell, right? Yeah, steak and gambling. And that's only what he's saying. Really? What does he mean? Yeah, we're in a state of a steak and gambling. Yeah, it's like, you feel like a long room.

So he's right. On the way back in the bus, we turned off the light. Who's in my mouth? Drill it. Drill it. Did you go to a strip club? That kind of thing? Oh, no strip club, huh?

We all just met up at a bar, got on the bus one T.C. You say gambled, went to a steakhouse at dinner, gambled some more, drank some more, and took the bus back. Yeah, you don't need no strip club. Are you fucking crazy? He's a fucking... Like, obviously I know that. I'm sitting here with you guys.

He's a fucking... He's a fucking hero. He's a strip club. Shrip club comes to him. Shrip search. Yeah. Yeah, you're thinking of the old school. Today's NYPD, I don't think they're

ahead in the stripper party. He's retired. No, he's not. Well, he didn't get married today. Sorry. You might have a fault tomorrow. I need that cut. Can I leave in the stuff about making women feel you?

Yes! I've seen like bachelor parties where they bring the bachelor on to the stage. Did they do that with you Frank? Not with me, but I went to a steak party where... or a bachelor party where they did do that. They brought the groom up on stage and the strippers did about to stop doing them. And they're always spanking them in shit? Oh, a chocolate syrup down his pants And yeah, who and that nothing erupt you the wife of the guy that does happen to call me the next day at work Telling me that the wedding was off and it was my fault because I brought him to the strip club And really because yeah because they were living together so he came home and chocolate syrup on the pants and everything Did that not go off and it really didn't happen?

The wedding did happen. It didn't end up happening but. Were you not invited? No, I was invited. I still went. Awkward, duh. A little bit awkward. I mean he didn't answer if you were invited.

You just said I still went. How did you get out of that? I just said, you know, listen listen it's all in fun right? Nothing really happened it was all just for show and stuff like that. Okay she bought that that we can't. Apparently they're still married. I mean I haven't I didn't talk to them after the wedding. Once the wedding was over that was that they moved away. But yeah.

We have a cousin who got married, not this past summer, summer before I think. And I was, I remember one day, I was like, holy shit, I never sent him a gift. So I called Pam to get his address. And she goes, oh no, he's not married anymore. And he got married in, it was August, right? And then he was divorced in September. I mean in September of a month later. What happened?

Well, they were there. I don't know, but they they've been fighting on Facebook like it was like very public. Like she's like weddings off type shit. You know, the wedding's off and then the wedding's back on and like as a like Eric was coming from California. So he's like, what the fuck? Like, you know, like, you guys get married or not. And it was a pretty fun wedding.

I had a lot of fun. I think I can't deny it. It was a pretty decent wedding, but then, I mean, I got out of sending a gift. I was like, whoa, I'm glad I didn't know his address. Because I think from what Pam said, the bride was like, I want half that money. Like even though I guess he had paid for the wedding.

Oh. And that didn't look like a cheap wedding either. Yeah. So how long should I wait to send you a gift? I mean, August to September, yeah. I mean, I hate to see a cousin outdo me. Oh man. I hate it. I didn't get a fucking refund.

Oh, you didn't? How much you give them? Not much. I was fucking poor. You give him a teddy bear. I was fucking poor. But when it cost me a lot of money, it cost about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him,

I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him,

I was about to ask him, I was about to ask him, back. I don't know why I was sitting on the table. I just never got around to it. And then eventually they put Eric to the test. They're like, find out if Brian's going to the wedding. So he had to track me. Now, they'll like I'll answer the phone if you call. But it was like a Jewish wedding. They did very, they did shit that I'd never seen before.

They were burning oranges and walking walking circles and shit, right? Like we're not gonna be doing Yeah, that's another thing. Yeah, it looked wicked But it was no as some kind of Hebrew ceremony stuff. Oh, okay. Well, um Pamcia, right? Will there be any like witchcraft? Could spells be cast tomorrow? We put in a bubble craft, like, who would put spells being cast tomorrow? Who would put spells being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow?

Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow?

Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow?

Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? Who would put spell being cast tomorrow? There goes there. Is anybody else concerned about Erica? Should we be stepping in? If he's that angry, I don't want him doing the prostate exam. That is a big mess. That was a big mess. That was a different one.

That was used around these parts. Here must be a den aqua when he showed up at the Christmas party and treating pieces. Yeah. When he showed up the Christmas party and trading pieces. Yeah, he's and this is this is tempered since you know, he first found out when I first talked to him about it He was on a warpath and I was just like just play it cool. Don't Call our names. Don't leave that fucking like he's not gonna go on Facebook or any of that kind of shit But it's like a Johnson's got a Johnson Know how we do

Alright, we're So what comes next in the bachelor party wall? How we go back to the rooms, we start really drinking. Are you guys in the same room? Because I mean, I thought it was a bad luck to see the bride before, you know, the wedding. Interdress. And it's also you're not supposed to stay in the room, the same room the night before.

All right, are you? I'm not in the same room. Oh, you're not. No. That is impressive. Yeah. That is impressive. I thought you would want to, you know,

I didn't think you would want to spring for an extra room. Okay. I'm like, do you know how much this is costing? I'm like, do you know how I just is costing. I mean, the girl got a goddamn deep fried dough truck or whatever it was. A funnel cake truck. So good, though.

Yeah, that was good. But I know I can't believe how nervous I was. How try. But like I legitimately am nervous for you. I couldn't believe it. Like, you know, up until when it felt like it was really happening and I was driving here. Yeah. You know, I was like, damn, I'm fucking nervous for you.

I'm happy for you. I feel like you're finally allowing yourself to be happy, to allow happiness into your life. I feel you for a long time, you've tried to chase it away and push it away. It feels like lately you're allowing it to come into your life. We're in the past, I don't think you've been good at it. Huge failure. Huge failure. You should know.

Don't ruin this moment. Yeah. You sure wasn't a terrible word outside. The bitterest pill. Really you think you can be happy? Really, you think you can be happy? You know what? I can't fault some because he was right before, well, maybe two years ago, Mary Beth and I went out to dinner with Eric and his ex now. And he was trying to convince her that she should want to stay there, because she was like,

it's too boring, I don't like it. I want to move. He's like, no, you don't, no, you don't. And it's because Eric's been chasing a normal life too growing up in an extremely abnormal house. Like, oh, you don't like you, you don't want, you don't want to. Oh my God. The only thing I wanted to be was normal. My entire fucking life. Like there was this idea that I had where I could just wear, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm like, I'm if frying gets that normal, like, there's no way. I'm gonna spare your pass of a t-shirt. He's gonna be beating the waitress at all of Gargant's. I hate it if it ever fucking achieve normalcy. Who is it that has to be?

It's a nature and nurture. Is it chemical? Because I agree with you, Walt, and as much as, like, yes, this is the happiest of been in some time. And it did seem for a long time. Like I made excuses to not have good things. Like, well, this is the reason, or that's the reason. I agree with you totally on that.

I feel like, like I said say I feel like you're finally allowing it to happen and Look what happened when you allowed it to you know to blossom love Like We blossom like a pansy Your guard down the fuck they come with their teeth There's no Debbie flying again around every corner. No, there isn't right there is I'll tell you why as you die I'll take the front of your door to the door. You know I don't know, man. I think he'd rather I do it,

that you do it at this point. There wouldn't be a question. Yeah. Maybe one of the Gallaudet. Billion men's lined up to you. So that would be, Debbie Flanagan's pretty solid. Debbie Chentill.

She's a special lady, I mean, Debbie Chen. That's the last time. Did you ever even talk to my wife? I was 12. You got like you to my lady? You know, it's just just the alcohol. Tomorrow he's going to wake up and he's going gonna have a renewed and a much more positive way. Where are your wife here, I'll marry.

Why do you leave that? I don't think that's what he means. Why do you believe that this is gonna get better overnight? I feel like this is just some, this is just some hurt that he's kind to numb with the alcohol right now, but once he sobers up, he'll realize that like holy shit, I'm a fucking doctor with two fucking mansions.

Yeah, one in the beach. I'm like, there is the fucking, the fast zone, or the fast lane is the only lane this guy needs to begin. Yeah. Look at that. I'd rather be in the Debbie Flanagan lane. What do you want? No, don't get me wrong.

What? What? It's not for everybody. More of a shoulder. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. and then you're saying marriage, abandon hope, abandon all hope, you who enter. Well, I already called the except for one, except for one, you know, me. I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, hire a lawyer to help this wife for your rescue, his kids. Wait, what

is going to, so you're going to move in with Debbie Chen as well. After child protective services removes me, he's going to swip it into the finger tips. I'm just going to swipe it anything. That's what you're looking for, though. You were looking for a Debbie Flanagan type that. Yeah. You thought you had one.

I thought I'd. And then you found out you're drinking coffee. Which is really cool. Or you could ever prove that you was having coffee with this guy. Is that true? Yeah, that's true. Because the wife hired a detective to follow him around and there was no evidence of...

Did you find anything except some enjoying of coffee? So, coffee kids think about this, the fucked up thing won't yeah they go out with the kids to coffee shops together. Oh like so they brought your steps on. They all enjoying themselves. I think the boys get to hang out with a girl. Yeah. Yeah. I know with a girl. Yeah. No, did was it seen as a, because you're very close to your stepson. Oh, yeah. What was it seen as a betrayal?

Like was he told not to tell you? Not so much. I don't tell deady or anything. I went from God. He's not like that. He's not like that. He, uh, yeah. I had a thought about that.

That's all right now. He uh, yeah. I had a thought about that. That's all right now. Oh shit. Is that a bottle? Let me get back to shitting on marriage. No, no, no. I would never hold anything against that guy. He's a solid guy.

So the day I die. No, was there any part of you that I know? Shit, that's a richest kid I know. He's getting it everything I have yeah probably like Bill Kate's kid any number of technically really so sage gets nothing nothing nothing I know I'm gonna cut her yeah yeah I'm gonna check cut her. Yeah, I'm going to cut her a check. A couple of hundred thousand, maybe five hundred, six hundred thousand. Wow, that's not bad.

That's a fucking nice drawing. Considering she barely recognizes who I am every time I see her. Yeah. You know, I want to go down to a hundred thousand when I serve today. Yeah. Why don't you Face Timer? You can Face Timer. She can Face Timer, you love her.

She can Face Timer. Well, we don't know, when you're like if you're busy fucking fashioning, this is something I dropped you. So it's a real like weird turnaround because I imagine you've been doing like getting him the New Slough his neck for years, right? Yeah, it's your turn now oh my this is great. It's not great. Great for me. You can now pay back all the probably all the help that you know he gave you. Never. I could. That's one way to look at it. The other is to let him mask asking his misery. I'm recording. Oh, I just like, it looks like a profitable line.

It's like back. You let it eight weeks go by? What's up? Eight weeks from what? I checked you that place in Malibu. I was like, should I get this place? And you're like, it looks like it's later now. Oh, you're like, I don't know what you're saying, I look good.

Oh, you're still alive. What happened, you needed something from him and went to tax them and realized you had the answers. Oh my God, Jesus Christ. I haven't been getting taxed anyway. No, no, no, you were like, this is a place I'm looking at. I didn't know you wanted me to give you an opinion. You were like the It's a mansion

But I mean if you it's a respectable place like if you brought a girl there she's not gonna be like oh It's a guy to respect your old fucking view. Yeah, sure But the place alone like going to be like oh she's got a respect to old fucking view yeah sure but the place alone like she'd be like oh well maybe I don't know or just your other place nicer so my other place is way nice you're just saying by comparison by comparison my other place is white nice you just bought that house recently too. Yeah. Man, that stinks. We're going to end on a real download someplace at some point. Yeah.

Is it John's an option? No, this is your fucking do it, dude. No, no, no, no. Well, wait, you said you were nervous driving down here. Yeah, I don't know why. Why do you nervous about it? I have no idea why. I have no idea why I was nervous for him, but I was just nervous like I was that,

you know, of wedding I never thought was ever gonna take place. I never thought that I would see a bride. Brought. I still have 12 hours. I never thought that this day would take place. I thought that Brian was going to be the perennial bachelor. You know, he said he was going to be and I thought he was I, you know, he said he was going to be,

and I thought he was going to, you know, do it, but, you know, I thought so too. People can change and things change, and you just never know when your life is going to change, you know, and it's, it's a beautiful thing. Yeah, thank you. No. Shh.

Shh. That's right. Hi. Hi. He wants the Debbie Flanagan fantasy. Maybe I can get it too. Could you imagine statistically what are the chances that we both basically marry a Debbie Flanagan? Marybeth very solid. She hates coffee. She's an introvert, so that's a pretty good sign. Yeah, why do you say that? Yeah, because she doesn't like to go out and meet other people.

Oh, okay, that doesn't mean she's not gonna be bugging them. Like, hey, we should go to the fucking dance club, fucking this bullshit, that bullshit. Yeah, she never does say that. She's always rather like order in and watch TV. Yeah, like a skitzoid personality type. This is rife with personality disorder. It's show films, that's all you do.

I'm gonna go with that. Yeah, I think you are. Good then, that's a very fast, pretty aggressive. Yeah. That's like the three-player bottle smash in the background. Oh my god, that's the big one. That's the big one. I'm still kind of skeptical because this is a pretty artsy place

Putting paintings up on the wall. Yeah, I think we're saying it really to you I Will we'll have to update everyone if Eric talks me out of it or not I don't know if I'm gonna need that update. That's just a technicality. I think right So down the rabbit hole So then there's no funny way I figure up his prostate and he wouldn't even know. That's how little Sam. He's saying he needs extra money now, he's getting married. So, if you can see that on my only fans account.

That's how little he can save. That was the day. I don't know if you heard the first one. I don't know if you heard the first one.