Tell Em Steve-Dave - #454: Eyes Up!

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

Greeting cards aren’t for everyone. Is your vision worth a toke of weed? Wedding talk.

I've never seen sales balls, I'm sorry to say. Do you think that like anybody who actually knows the Pope personally talks shit about him? Bamboy standing fucking godplowdode Tell him Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Him Steve Dave. I'm sitting here with Q. Hello. And I'm sitting here with Walt. Hello.

And I always forget to do certain things. So right off the top, I'm going to say, hey, if you want to watch the show that I do with Iraq, it's on YouTube. You can go to youtube.com, would you kindly show.com? And that's gonna send you to, if you like pop culture and you love Iraq, yeah, that's the show for you.

Twitter, tell them Steve Dave, if you need help, with anything, it's T-E-S-D, town, and our IG is Instagram. IG is a kid say, or do we think Instagram? I don't know. I'm just gonna say Instagram, so I don't fuck up. Tell them ants. So done.

And oh Patreon.com slash Telm Steve David. If you wanna get all the good videos that Walflantigan's putting out. Mm-hmm. Nice. All right, is that good? Well, excellent. All right, thanks.

You're the one that says you forget it all. Well, this was not by my hand. So Walt, last week, Mary Beth was sitting here. And I wouldn't want you to think that now that I'm married, I'm just going to bring my wife every time. It's a very good reason she's here that I'm not sure if you know. This used to be a boys club man. He used to be. But it's gonna, we're gonna have to include a female this week because last week's show. Yeah, I heard. You heard?

Yeah, Declan. Did I, did I didn't have the heart to tell you? I bought software. Okay, so what happened was we recorded a show, talked about the wedding, and when I got home, I sent it to Declin twice, and he's like, there's nothing coming through, even though it was like two gigs. And then it turned out the card was corrupted. I got software to try to pull it off, which I successfully did.

I got pictures of me and you, real old pictures. Yeah, it was weird, because the card's been formatted and shit. Really? Yeah, but like very old, like I would say, like 2014 pictures of me and yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Like, good ones.

Uh, yeah, I pulled some off. Yeah, it was like it was, they're all black and white. And I think we're sitting like at the poker table. God. Well, I told you know what? Yeah, I wasn't and you said you didn't have the heart to tell me because I was like, my, my initial thought when Declan told me it was just like, thank God it wasn't the previous episode.

Right. Oh, right, right. Right. Thank God it wasn't the previous episode Right, oh right right right now. Yeah, I am that's a and I and I then I caught myself. I'm like that's glass half full, baby That is yeah, I was I was impressed with myself and I because I didn't it was legitimate thought I was like well Fucking thank God it wasn't the previous episode that was lost with 10 people on it You could never recreate. Yeah. Eric might not feel that way.

Yeah. And the sober light. Did you stop by the movie's pop-up store, kid? Did you happen to grab a burger? I did not. I was going to go. But then I heard that they're serving a secret stage beer. That's not R&H beer. So that's it

How do they do that? I thought you need a liquor license No, they you team up with a local place that already has license They just they put a label on it got you so Mm-hmm red tank. They have a big inflatable J-Bob there do they really? Yeah, but I'm an chronic really No, no, I'm gonna go. I'm a little kidding. I'm gonna go. Get them there, selling merch.

Now I'm not going. But is it get them safe? Is he wearing a mask? Yeah, he has to. Yeah, he has to wear it. Yeah, it's an restaurant. Well, these are two separate questions. Is he safe?

And is wearing a mask? Yeah, well, it won't grate in LA, then it wouldn't like to go where on the street was like that. This one is crazy. I mean, people came through today just to store. I didn't go over to the restaurant, but the amount of people came from the restaurant and also came to the sea of the stash, leads me to believe it was a pretty good day for movies,

because it was a good day for us. Our best day since the obviously since the reopening of COVID. You've defeated COVID financially. No, no, I can take a lot more than a pop up to defeat COVID for a week. Yeah, it's going to take a lot more than that. Oh, it's only week. Yeah, it's only up. It's only there for seven days. I came into Red Bank today to go to lunch and I went over to my buddy Tossas place, the bistro here. And he looks like he's aged three, four years.

It's just six months ago, eight months ago. Yeah, I'm like, wow, you're aging appropriately. He has three restaurants. And he's none too happy about because eventually like you know they the street out here in front of the stash is all closed down for a couple blocks so the restaurants can drag their tables out it's gonna get cold then what then what well I don't know I think that I think as a country though we should pull together and not be such pussy and be like all right just put a pair of long

johns on and go fucking sit outside and eat dinner. What about your hands? Like put a pair of gloves on. You know, get those pocket warmers, you know, there's things like that for you to use. Yeah, like a nice fish and then or a hunter. Yeah. So you're holding these in your hands with your fork and faster dinner. I mean, if that's what takes to save the restaurant, so we can't get together and do

that. I'd rather just give him 30 bucks for the meal in his name home. We're just gonna take out, yeah, have him bring it. Yeah, yeah, I'm willing to sit out there in the windshields, you know, that, you know, approach zero if it means that sauce, whatever that does name it, what does that do to him? Oh, toss it.

Toss it, yeah, I'm gonna try it, you know, the do's name. What was that do's name? Oh, Tassel Tassel. Yeah, I'm gonna try it. You know see how it goes Right, I think I'm like addressed appropriately. I'm good until 50 to 55 That's a pussy right there. I'm a communist. I know And Because 50 to 55 I don't see my girdle That's nothing. I know. I hate the cold though.

I hate it. Just put extra layer. A couple of different layers. We get a heat wave. I'll be out there in 110. It's not that you're a pussy. It's just that you don't enjoy it. So what are you doing out there?

I hate the cold more than I love these restaurants. Yeah. Way more. I just take a couple extra layers of clothing though. Just see if we can do it. Try it. If you don't like it, you don't know until you try it. If they have their tables out there in January, I will sit out there with you.

They're not going to. No way. I'm wondering how long they're going to do it for. I think you can go until November. I think so too. I really think so. You can give it a shot. I'm sure it'll start to.

Could they put the heat things out there? They are. They're going to do that. Well well then you could get their October. Yeah, aren't they dangerous though? Like if they topple over and like, what oil can they like, it's not oil, it's cold, you know. It's propane.

It's propane, thank you. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's safe. That's the old school ones that people bring in their homes and then they warn you like, be careful. Yeah, yeah, I mean, you must have seen that kind of stuff. Spacey, yeah, we saw it. Spacey, this were a bad one. I remember we went into this one house. It was on

stand out and and every room in the house had this little R2D2 looking fucking things would grill on it. And they would top it off the tanks at night. That's how they heated it home. And I was like, that's fucking real. Like to grill patties? No, no, it's just like to stop you from touching the fucking heat, like a safety grill on the side so you don't touch the heat part and it was just blasting out heat but they were gas powered and I was like, it's your indoors. So their heating unit must have went and that's how and they never could get it fixed so they had to go. All these units couldn't have been cheap. It was like,

there was like six, six of these units. Probably cheaper than getting a whole new heating system. I'm going gas than two. I mean, this is a point. What the hell? The seal risks. Yeah, unless you have a refinery, you're going to be spending a couple of books. I tried to, I talked to Joe Gatto earlier today. I wanted him to come on to discuss his book,

but he had a previous engagement. So, uh, next time I'm here. Oh yeah, the first interview he's, he's done giving about the book. I don't know. I think he's been on like, good morning, American shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it uh, next time. I think he's been on like good morning. Yeah. So it's not an exclusive podcast. He's been on about it. Maybe probably. Yeah. I hope so.

He's coming on. No, he's gonna come. He's anyway. Come on. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Next time he'll, uh, you should have Murray on to do his book. Because he hasn't ever been on tell him. See, that would have been a perfect opportunity. Well, he puts out a book every five weeks. So I'm just gonna just wait for you. because he hasn't ever been on tell him, see, that would have been a perfect opportunity. Well, he puts out a book every five weeks.

So I'm just just gonna, you will just wait for you to receive the collections. I have, before we get into the wedding stuff, which I guess we will recap. I, I, It's the first time we've ever tried to attempt this. To recreate something. I don't think we're gonna recreate what we said.

Recreate the moment. I don't even remember. As I say, like when Declan told me as if I was going. I was going, yeah. Like he was trying to break it to me gently as if I was going to be devastated. And I just remember dancing around it.

And I'm like, what's going on? He goes, We'll see. I'm like what's going on? What's guys blue today? I'm not maybe he lost it the way he was smuck and so scared to reveal that it was done. I was like god damn like I have probably 25 SD cards and this little envelope that I bring with me. I just picked the wrong one. It was just the wrong one that time. So as you can see there's two. That one must have been old if you had fucking 2014

photos. Oh, yeah, maybe you should upgrade to 2020 cards. Hey, I got to 2020 cards in this recorder and the backup recorder. I mean, is there any cards in the in the old box that may be older than 24? My grandfather left them to me. They're playing cards. They're playing cards. We'll put in that. It's funny, it's like you were doing the backup for a long time, but like what happens is nothing goes wrong, so you decide you don't need the backup, and then you need the backup. You got cocky. That's what always what happens.

Insurance. I don't need this insurance. You don't need it until you need it. Then you need it. I know how to record this shit. That should be. What's that? I got the best sound in this podcast.

Oh, policy genius. That should be a policy genius's tagline. You don't need it until you need it. And then you need it. I think that's better than what they have now. I like that. It's a lot of it's in it. I think people will be like, huh?

It's clunky, but I mean, it's true. I think, well, you're not a drugtaker q you neither really and even at this point i'm pretty boring i don't understand what needs to what oh we just not a drug you can't be all it's not a drug okay okay and whose eyes uh... california calorado washington state massachusetts I'm trying to dance. I'm trying to find my way around this. You're dancing more than a declin' dude. I was trying to break a new suit. I'm not doing a jig and shit over here. Alcohol is, you have to make alcohol. Mm-hmm.

I remember why it's just a plant. People call alcohol a drug though, so yeah, I guess you're right. It's, you know, it's a drug that's not a drug that's not a drug that's not a drug. I'm trying to dance, I'm trying to find my way around this. You're dancing more than a declin' dude. I was trying to break a new suit. I'm not doing a jig and shit over here. Alcohol is, you have to make alcohol.

Marijuana is just a plant. People call alcohol a drug though, so yeah, I guess you're right. It's like I could see the argument for alcohol. I don't see the argument for marijuana. The argument that it's not, you agree with Brian, it's not a drug? I agree it's not a drug. Yeah, plant.

I mean, most of the drugs are, you know, like, it doesn't do the same effect that a drug does. What drug, what drug is like like marijuana all of them I thought About to tell you about one that is not like They're all fucking bad for you aren't they? All you can Can't you you can abuse them right? I mean if you can abuse it. It's bad for you I feel like it's not a drug if you can't overdose on it.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Like chocolate. You can't really overdose on chocolate. That's not what Sunday drift told me today. Really? Yeah, we're talking about it.

I'm not talking about it as a dog. I'm talking about it. We're talking about the Halloween show, The Little teaser, and there's something that I told him that was going to happen in it, and he was like well you'll kill him if you give him that much chocolate and I was like are you serious? And he goes oh yeah he can go into toxic shocks syndrome. Mostly because he's a tampon and is it?

Or what do you call it? Like I guess if you have too much sugar like too much sugar can cause a like a diabetic shock? Yeah that's what he called it. Yeah. And so I'm assuming you're talking about Gidem. Like we don't want to name names here. So yeah, so like chocolate may very well be a like,

a shock. I'm willing to put it to the test. You can get to it, though, again. Chocolate? Yeah. I don't know. I mean, you can get a sugar. Yeah.

All right. Is that a drug, though? So speaking as a drug taker, I have yet to see like the weed story that makes me say, like, fuck that, like I would never do that or I would never try that or I would never continue to do it. No, quite the opposite. You're like, weed seems to drive people

to just kind of chillingin' out, eh? It's a relaxation. Yeah. That's the side effect is relaxation and euphoria. I've read stories though where people have gone like fucking into like fantasy land where they're like having panic attacks because they've overedeed on weed. Well, they got paranoid if the weed is shit. No, no, I'm talking about like they go into like like

legitimate like panic mode and they like they can't get out of it. Really? Like an episode they call it From weed yeah, I'm telling you I write stories. No, I'm not yeah, I'm not just counting what you know mushrooms are Natural too, and I would say they're a drug so maybe my own theory isn't correct. Mm-hmm I mean, I guess it's not or it's not a drug. Let's look up the very strict definition of drug. Yeah. What brings us up anyway though? Oh, because I want to, there's this cautionary tale we'll look up drug in a second that I

don't know how much more serious a cautionary tale can get than this. Now, when you hear about meth, it's always like, well, it's dirty. It's super addictive. You get addicted the first time, it takes your teeth out, it makes your gross. You got scab, it makes your body go psychotic. So if that's not enough, a South Carolina woman gouged her eyes out, her own eyes, during a meth-induced psychotic episode in which she thought she could save the world. And then she got a pair of prosthetic eyeballs that would make her appear more normal to the outside world. She was 20 years old when she ripped them out of her, squishing them with her hands after snorting and injecting tainted methamphetamine.

Oh, man. I believed though, if you if you read that a dude who who smoked too much MJ, didn't that, it still wouldn't bake you go like, I'm stopping like the MJ. Not you, but I'm talking about people who like like MJ. Yeah. I don't think even that cautionary tale would stop people like, ah, they can't handle their drug. I think everybody would be like pretty shocked

and it would be more likely it was dipped in PCP or something to do something like that to have that sort of episode. How do you not, how do you, anybody know it's not dipped in it though? Well, if you get it in a, I mean, if you buy a pre-world joint, then yeah, you don't know, but if you're just buying flour, you know, it's not likely to have been sprayed.

How are we going to add a code name for a code code? Well, that's just like the buds and stuff rather than like vaping or something. And if, okay, so she says, the drugs take your fears and beliefs and amplify them. I thought I had to take my eyes out to survive and save the world. You never heard this story before?

Mom, you told me this story. Your mom? Yeah, in the 80s. What was the drug? It certainly wasn't meth. It had to be something else. Was it weird? Beer?

Yeah. Really? So we got a peddler sitting at the table. But your mom know this? I mean, he just made me want to tear out other people's eyes. I don't know. I don't know. Here's a picture ever with her prosthetic eyes.

Hold on, let me blow it up a little bit. I mean, it looks a little weird. It almost looks like alien. Does she have both eyes are gone? Is she still? She ripped them both out. So she can't see. She's blind.

Yeah, let me see, because the microphone was in the way. Oh, so. One looks kind of normal. The other one does not. Good, but pretty damn good for gouging your eyes out. That's pretty good prosthetic. She looks not typical of the person that I would think had taken meth and torn a riser.

That looks like a cheerleading photo. Yeah, she looks like the All American Girl. That shows it can happen to anybody. That's exactly right. Eyes are your fucking everything. Don't take the chance. It's not worth it. This, based on this alone, I would never do meth.

Forget all the other shit. Forget all the other stuff. Just this alone would make me like, it does what? Yeah. Like that crocodile shit that we talked about, where people's, like, that, that, wherever they shoot it into them, they go, like, they get in a creusess and shit. They're all like, you see bones through their skin and shit. You're sitting at the big boys table,

you're gonna have to deal with it girl. Yeah. Um, so, I guess that's it. That was it. She cried with happiness. I guess she can still cry if you rip your eyes out and squish it. Oh.

Um, we all have, you all seriousness, you have never heard this, this as a, as a cautionary tale that like, they rip people all seriousness you have never heard this this as a Questionary tale that like they rip people rip their eyes out from the because they don't want to see what they're seeing when they go on these I know that's like acid right like acid or LSD and any of those any of those hallucinatory Draws you know that makes you think that you that you're seeing evil. And that doesn't make you like do like mushrooms, like as an artist.

Right? Mushrooms? Yeah, if Walt took some mushrooms like as an artist, the things he would see. Ooh, I wonder how that would be. But he's already kind of fucked up, so he might see stuff he couldn't handle. You got to super low dose this guy. You can't be sending a world on a trip. I went I'm on

30 35 years clean. I must be wrong. I thought I remember a story of you guys on the set of one of Kevin's movies Right and Walt had a couple drinks. No, I don't fix it That big I don't know Remember I don't think so. I don't know. I don't remember. I don't really understand. It's giving you a bad rep. Family stand in fucking Godplow. So all right, we'll talk about the wedding and we'll do as best we can to

fill people in. Remember, I actually remember a couple things along the way, and that Instagram address I gave you earlier, we finally got the photos, and I'm gonna help post some up there, some of the cool ones, like, you know, BQ and the KQ. Yeah, it was a month. It took a fucking month, and I thought that you would descend. There's 2,000 pictures. I thought that you had to send thank you cards

inside of a month. Where is the year? That's three months. Three months. Three months. But she wants to design the card and put picture, like little small pictures on it and shit and I'm like, look,

we gotta fucking send these fucking things out man. People are gonna think we're on grateful. People at this very table. Yeah. We're really generous in life. I thought you had a year. Oh yes, that's in fact. What, we're really generous in life. Oh, yes, that's a fact What that you're generous in life

But you know what though if I I'm not that kind of guy that's just expecting a card No, I would like if I didn't get a card. I would never be like at all or just from me Try to be I'm not the kind of guy like if I didn't get them up. No, I'm not at all. I'm not the kind of guy. Like, if I didn't get a card from somebody, like, I'm a dude, I don't care. I don't think I would care.

I would even notice. Yeah, I would be honest. Yeah. Would you care? Oh, absolutely. I mean, I don't want to sound like a fucking curl magnum. But it's a girl. That's what they're into.

It's the Polter Table. That's the way it is. It's a greeting card. That the whole greeting card industry was made for girls. I mean, it's, that's the way it is. I'm sorry. If that anger's you, you know, I apologize, but that's the facts, Jack. But you would say it again tomorrow. So you're not really all that sorry. I agree with you. I mean, in this world of like ambiguity in terms of gender and sex and all this other shit, there still is room for like not caring about greeting cards or thank

you cards. It's your man. It's that like hot button to say that I think greeting card industry is dominated by women buying greeting cards for dudes, but I mean it's way more important to girls I think. I know there's gonna be the unicorn out there, it's gonna fucking send me an email. But I understand there's always exceptions, but for the most part I think it's a a female dominated business. Yeah, so you just cut the check and your like,

I'm out, I did everything I was supposed to do. What's the letting you be pissed? I don't wanna hear anything more. I did everything. I didn't remind you. I checked all the boxes, I had to check. We actually didn't talk last time either about where you stayed originally.

I'd ask you if you wanted to stay in the mansion with us and you could put it. Yeah, because I brought my one daughter with me and I didn't want to ask for another room. That's what I heard. Yeah. And I figured that, you know, that she wasn't going to the wedding that, you know, we would spend, um, the, since we're there three days, we would spend some time in the inner harbor and she would have things to do.

And then she would stay in the room when we went to the wedding. But we pretty much stayed in the room the whole time because the inner harbor was rough. It was a little rough, you know, just nobody was there, it was a ghost town and just You know, it was it just wasn't the same harbor that I remember from what that I went there a few years ago The touristy harbor. Yeah, it just really was safe harbor I'm not saying it just was sad that to see it in that it's not they you know No one's going to it right now. I guess a lot of tourist destinations are facing the same problems,

but once they reopen the country little by little, I think the tourist industry still hasn't seen it bounce back. Now, when it does open, do you think people will en masse be like, finally we can go places? What is open? Where it's not limited in terms of like, oh, 25% capacity.

I'm talking where it falls out, back to life. Vaccine back. Vaccine back, yeah. Will it come back? I don't think not overnight, but I think it'll slowly start to come back. I think everybody eventually, just like you with the card, you didn't need the backup card.

People start to be a little bit less safe or a little bit less worried. I will wear the mask. I don't need your hands. I can go to a restaurant now. I can go to a tourist destination. That just comes with time and not feeling stressed about doing those things. I don't feel stressed. If I could go into stores without a minute, I would absolutely do it. I would just, I read somewhere it has like a 99 point

something recovery rate. Like statistically, you are almost, it's almost impossible to do it. You don't know what it's gonna do to you if you get it. I know it doesn't, but I mean, I don't know if I'm gonna walk out and a fucking anvil's gonna hit me on the headwily coyote style.

I don't know that like, It's not a good analogy. Okay, not an animal. But a car, you know, driven by a woman. So it's reading a greeting card when she should be paying attention. Yeah, but like, if you weren't wearing a mask and then you got me sick and then I got my mom sick

and I killed her, I'd be pretty upset. Why aren't you wearing a mask? I am wearing a mask. Okay, well you got your mask and you're gonna worry about me then. That's the certainly way to look at it. Yeah. Plus wearing a mask. Okay. Well, you got your mask. I don't worry about me then That's the certainly way to look at it Plus wearing a mask with a beard. It's like there's so much airflow under there. Yeah, I don't understand like you got the same thing going on A little bushy, but yeah, there's a lot of air

Should there be exceptions for men with beards? I think so I think like people who have a doctor's nose and guys with beards I like I think even you with your shaggy Scruff going on there. I should be exempt. Oh, yeah, absolutely Go over that well, I don't even think you could make the case that a guy's what long beards should not have to wear masks Oh, I don't think I could either I'm not gonna argue a lot of Some hostility. Do you guys judge people driving around and mask still? Like I thought at first when people were like very real,

like driving the car with a mask on. Driving their car with mask on. I see it all the time. I think that's a little silly, but I mean, whatever. Maybe they just forgot. Yeah, because I forget I'm wearing it now. And yeah, I've driven a room with a mask on. I just forgot to take it all. Oh, really? Yeah, I just forget I'm wearing it. And yeah, I've driven a room with a mask on. I just forgot to take it off.

Yeah, I just forget I'm wearing it. It's like when your sunglasses are like on your forehead and you're like, where the fuck are those sunglasses? You just forget they're there. I told Mary Beth, these masks are the new band-aids. Like how people just toss a band-aid, like you find a gross fucking band-aid. Oh, it's disgusting on the side of the room.

Find masks and shit on the ground. It's like, ew! Like fucking ew! When we rented a car to take a road trip, though like he was like, oh, I have to go sanitize the car. The guy, so the guy brings the car in the back. Sanitized it, quote. Why didn't they do that anyway, by the way? I don't know.

But so, okay, it's sanitized. Then we find a mask in the glove compartment, a used mask, and a used mask tucked down on the side of the seat. I'm like, well, you know, that's some sanitization. It seems sanitary. Do you point that out?

Yeah, the manager called an apologize, but at that point, I'm just like, I'm not gonna call him back, you know. You could have got that money fucker refining. He knows, I don't know, I don't know about that. Maybe I got like a free day at rental or something. Yeah Who knows so so the wedding where do we start? Well, we had it at the Grammarcy Mansion in Baltimore in Baltimore

30 people maximum I wanted to invite some people there were people I really wanted to invite and cook Tommy Lincoln my buddy E-rock I probably would have invited Dante yeah we had the first night was the pizza party rehearsal dinner pizza party and everybody was there except Mike I think yeah he he came up the next day. Mm-hmm He came up the next day and I don't think oh we had a little what was that that dessert truck? Yeah, funnel cake funnel fair So and that was pretty fun. I thought The rehearsal dinner, but there wasn't any standout moments really. I don't think

Well the podcast then we do the podcast the podcast you had the party. And then I heard there was a bachelor at party too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, not as a rival. You get a wildest the podcast. I don't think so. Yeah, we were. You saw the gift baskets.

So. Yeah, that's what they did. They put gift baskets to you. They just took all the gift baskets. Did you guys talk to them? At least a little blue while you did it? Yeah, where they like, hey, what do you have planned for tonight? No, I don't think so what do you like what do you have planned for tonight?

There was no blue talk that's on the menu Poo I don't really remember I had a We got you know talking about posting some of the pictures earlier. I requested from the, from the photographer. I said, you know, sometimes when you look, you know, certain, you're on certain forums, you see women getting dressed, you know, they're in their bridal gear.

And they're in different states of nudity. Oh, pardon war. Boob's might be a little bit of a bar action, yeah. So I said, I'm gonna make a request if I actually catch some of those snaps. You know, so I haven't seen them yet. There's a whole album. Yeah, I'm told it's a entire album fall.

So the photographer took pictures of you in your bowed war states. Yep, yep. I love the photographer. Everybody at the wedding had a crush on the photographer. She's awesome. Yeah, she loves everybody. But I think she would be for me. Yeah, I think she'd be a little much like I don't have.

There's no room in my life for that level of energy. Very, very, very. Consistently like that. Yeah. Bombs over. But when I talk about the rest of your life, you're talking about wedding shots and a wedding, you know. Mm-hmm. You could take it for that.

I could take it for that. Yeah, I thought she was very pleasant. Oh, yeah. Oh, I like her. She's great. Oh, it don't sound like you like her very much. No, she's high energy. I hate that bitch. Oh, no, let's say that. So is it awkward when she's taking pictures of your both yours? Not at all. My mom and my aunt were in the room. Oh, really? Yeah, it's not. Oh, that wasn't. I also did one for her and my mom and that girl were in the room. I was thinking about that.

I think about that, if it was reversed, that would be so weird if my mom. Honestly, I don't even think you need to reverse it. I'm with you and like the ant and the, like you're not in your mom being there. I feel like that's weird. The total stranger to me is not a big deal, but the mom and the ant.

But I guess it's like, few, the girls are just different. They don't care if like other girls see their tits and stuff, you know you know, but we grew up and we fucking grew up seeing each other's balls and We were forced to we had to know big deal. Wow Surprising I guess so yeah, what's surprising that we had to they just stare at each other's balls all the time Well, that all day just in Just for 40 minutes in That all day just in just for 40 minutes in

I've never seen sales balls I'm sorry to say yeah, we talk about it. We did but it wasn't like that I mean you can get changed into Jim gear and we throw in some I'm a we're not over your fucking school uniform You didn't take off your underwear you pregush We I mean we took showers and our we were we have to take showers. I didn't we didn't take showers. If we didn't take showers, they took points off our grade. Oh my God.

Whoa. Well, in fact, Jim was my last class by senior year. So I would go. I would check in. I would go in the locker room. I'd grab my bag. I'd walk out the back door, get on the train, go home. For us, I kind of understood it though.

Like you're a teenage boy, it's like third period, and it's like we took Jim, we didn't fuck around, like we played basketball, or we played soccer. So you're sweating balls and stinking and shit. So I kind of understood why they would want to enforce it, not to the point where it's like if you don't get nude in front of your friends and stare at each other's balls, it's gonna fail.

It's so far into people, young people today, don't you see here that, you know, that was like a strict fucking rule. They can't even wrap their heads around how bizarre that is. One of the most enforced rules in the class that I can recall, it was that, like that and don't fuck around. Like when you're actually playing the game and shit, like doing jammer, whatever. Those were the only two things.

You better take a shower and don't fuck around and jam. Geez. Gross. Good old days. Yeah, and I remember, what the small dick people do. Should we sit there, shower and shame? Wait, wait, wait, why, why, this it matter?

You shouldn't be looking, who's got the bigger, who's got the smaller one. Yeah, but all it takes is one person to go like, holy shit, look at his dick. And then it's like, oh, I'm so small. But then you fucking out yourself as you were staring at it, though. He's okay.

It's a day and so, that's not a problem. He's just looking at shoulders up. Yeah, Kelp, can't help but notice that you noticed. Yeah, I think you would help but notice that you noticed I think you would be more ripe for ridicule because if you put that shit out He's around the locker room with his little pecker Guys he's don't fall for this. He's trying to flip this script. Let's all just focus on a tiny deck Let's focus how focused you are on the size of your classmates

Jealous you guys want to see my dick Showing my down show you on the train Meet me in the caboose I'm gonna be my dick. Me being the kaboosh. So the next day is the wedding and cue. You were working on your speech. Yeah, up until, yeah, like two hours before I was rewrite in that speech. Beautiful speech when... Form the ceremony.

Yes, you performed the ceremony. Yes, the first ceremony. The first, yeah. And how long had you been a Reverend well less than a year I did it when Brian minister Brian it told me that I Be doing it. What is it called? Reverend I think yeah Listen here, listen here. Yeah, yep It's that was impressive for your first one look like you had I

Were taught on that that I've worked on anything in my career for your first one look like you had a I were taught on that that I've worked on anything in my career he looked like he was experienced every nuance every pause like I I'm listening to and looking at the pictures and remembering like or trying to remember the moments and like watching us and like I'm like this is what we're laughing at this right now we're laughing at that right there you know yeah I my only thing is to I changed it so much, I didn't memorize it, I wanted to be off book, but there's just no way. I was just changing jokes two hours before I couldn't.

I mean, how can you not when Eric comes in? Well, that was the thing. Eric, you can't look, the sermon I wrote, there's like pre-arric and after-arric, you can't experience Eric and then be like, well, I have to address that a minimum of three times in this. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was so, it was slid in there so perfectly.

Because if you listen to the Bachelor Party episode, my brother Eric is going through divorce. He's none too happy about women, I guess, in general right now. You know, it was so sad, one of the saddest things he said. I didn't, I didn't, I thought about it, it haunted me. Was it the numerous times that he's like, I want to marry your wife with your die? No, I didn't talk about that. She's fairly even knows who he is. I don't even know she would pick him out of a lineup, you know? It's gonna break us hot. But, um, no, but he said something that really, really just hit home and made me go, Oh my God, he, how fragile, um, what he's looking for is because he

said, all I ever wanted in my life was to be having normal home life. I just want to be normal. Yeah. He sad it and it made me, it just really, like I thought about, I think about it almost every day. It's like how you can't control that. Like it is so dependent upon everybody else in your life that you live with if your home life is going to be normal.

And if one thing is a skew, it could be, it could mean the difference between abnormal or outright fucking toxic. Right. Like everything could be going in the right direction, and then suddenly you assisted those methods you close your own eyes out. You've got nothing to do with you,

but now you got your sister to a clawed out. That's not what it's like. Well, it's not normal. Yeah, I mean, it really just like, it just really made me sit there and go like it, it moved me because I was just like, like, he kept saying like, you were normal, you're normal. And it's like, but the reason his life went from normal to abnormal, it wasn't because of him though.

So it is so dependent upon the people, the rest of your people in your life. It really, really like it affected me. Really, we had gone to dinner with Eric and his then wife like what, two years ago, about two years ago. And he was singing the same song. He was, we were telling stories.

Still talking about me being normal? No, he was, we were telling stories. Still talking about me being normal? No, he was talking about his self being normal. He didn't bring up Debbie a few times. The wife was crazy about that. He was singing that same song where he lives in this small town in the outskirts of L.A. and they moved there from the San Francisco area, his wife really liked the San Francisco area. She didn't want to move to this little town. So she was like kind of unhappy there. And he was basically trying to gas later into believing that she did want to live there. He's like, no, we got this and we got that you want to live here. You'll you like it.

Like you literally say like this kind of shit to her. And she was like, I don't like it like you literally say like this kind of shit to her and she was like I don't like it You know, I don't like it and then that was another theme of the night was Telling stories about where we're young and him being like I just that's all I wanted when I was young I just wanted every I just want it to be normal he had a vision of what he wanted and the vision was that small quiet town and he desperately wanted it and For whatever reason I guess she why wouldn't she like a small like dick I was you know yeah I was up but I don't know yet it really was like I didn't even say anything because when he said it, it just made me realize it's so out of your control, Eric,

you really can't control that. It's just like, it's luck basically, or if it remains normal, and there's no fucking guarantee, then it'll always remain normal. Something, one small thing, one little stone thrown into the fucking water can make those ripples and one of those ripples

can be fucking cock-eyed and turn everything upside down. Think about how abnormal your life becomes if Deb is suddenly like, oh, I have this male friend, we're gonna go hang out. It would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true, yeah. I mean, it would just unmake everything that you thought was real. Yeah. It really would. So that's

like I said, it really, it really just like haunted me since he said it. And I hope that he's doing better and he finds that normalcy that he's seeking. I'm going to go out and visit him next week. Oh yeah. Yeah. Just hang out for a couple days. Not next week, no week after. It doesn't matter. Come on. This is gonna correct me. Any chance you get.

I can't say anything. I mean, he's real bad with dates. The 27th is free, right? For him? Yes. We get back at his ass. Fuck you. Every time I talk to him, it's like, I'm going away this time.

I'm going and then he's like, no, it's not this day I mean he has no clue You know not everyone tell me all the time you didn't know who's gonna see his brother No, I know he's seen his brother. I don't know it's the exact dates Yeah, but at that time there I told Eric I was like, normal. I was like, that's not for you. I was like, you're a Johnson, it's not for you. Oh, really? Yeah.

What you, we need to get to the past. Kind of cursed him, man. Fucking on my day, so we're not on my day, so we're not sure if Thomas. Yeah, I was like in two years time, a Latino will go out for coffee with another man Oh, so bad And she, well...

It's almost worse than banging That's why I'm here in Joanne's company Yeah, that's why I didn't know how many details you wanted to give out But it is, in a way, because here's the thing in my mind If I was married and my wife fucked a dude It's a clear cut Like, hey, and my wife fucked a dude, it's a clear cut. Like, hey, like you fucking fucked a dude. Like obviously there were a million ways

you could have handled it. You handled it like this. So fuck off your an asshole. But she goes out to lunch with same dude and doesn't fuck him. I mean, it's really like almost like I'm the dick for asking for the divorce. Because there's nothing,

and especially with that private investigator involved, there's nothing you can point at that's like, well, I have this is hard evidence. It's like your only hard evidence is that after working out, they went out for a cup of coffee. Yeah, fucker. And didn't, and didn't tell Eric. Like she didn't mention it to Eric. I feel like that's a little different than being confused as to like what date you're going

to go out to LA that I don't tell her. Yeah, but, but you could see how some people would be like, you're in the voiceover that man, like she just went to for coffee. Yeah, but it was several times, I think she brought the kid once, like they each brought their kid. That's fucking normal, I think.

That's better, but worse too. It's like, I'm out of it. Because now you're like, hey man, keep cool, don't say anything. I don't tell coffee. So the kid was told not to say anything. I don't know that. I don't know that. I don't know if he was just like, I don't know if he was just like I don't want to get involved or whatever

But Eric has a close relationship with him. It's unfortunate. Yeah Oh, well, what are you gonna do? It'll fall apart eventually. In other news Walt came over to the to my place the other day He had to take some pictures of me for a project and it was weird his head was higher He had more of like a spring in his step. Really? I don't know, he's talking. Dressed a little snappier.

Walt. Walt. And I was like, this looks like a guy. Oh, I know he's talking about it. This looks like a guy who's discovered Mac Weldon, our new sponsor. Ha, ha, ha. The best sweatpants on the planet.

Aren't they really? Yeah. Why, we got sweatpants? You must have got your code. You got a code that you should have. If you didn't go to the website, you're just like, I don't know about those codes. I got codes.

Yeah. You must have gotten a code. All right. It's too late. This is a company. I used your code. But I asked very, very well. I thought I was like, has it used that code yet?

And it's like, oh, come on. I mean, he had a firm ferment, I'm taking that code. I need two pants. He's still on fucking TV. Let me have the fucking code. I've got TV in yours. I think your code has been used. Oh, it's been used, really?

I think so. I think. What? He lies all the time I think about not getting shot. Oh, he used his own code. I've used my code. Yes. or your assistant used it for you. Yes But this is a place that before Mary Beth secured them as a sponsor I already Frequented I love their sweatpants and I love their shirts and I love their sweatshirts Before Mary Beth secured them as a sponsor, I already frequented.

I love their sweatpants and I love their shirts and I love their sweatshirts. They're sweat shorts too. Email. So let me read with... Where do I spell it for everybody in me? M-A-C-K and the new word W-E-L-D-O-N. Weldon.

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It's the finest apparel I've ever had on my body. It's great, isn't it? I really like it. It really, I mean, the suit I wore to your wedding was crappier than these sweatpants. That was burlap. Then these sweatpants. So I already talked about what they have.

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You're going to get 20% off your first order. Go to Mac Welden.com slash TSD. Enter the promo code TSD. So for 20% off your first order, visit Mac Welden.com slash TSD and enter promo code TSD. For 20% off your first order, visit Mac Welden.com slash TSD and enter promo code TESD. For 20% off your first order, visit macwellden.com slash TESD and enter promo code TESD. I was very like radio-esque, isn't it? Like what they say it's like two or three times.

I know those are all the flums out of it. Oh, once I take them out, yeah. Yeah. Then I'll sound like a pro. Yeah, I like me some Macwellden. They're pretty good. Moving on back. I mean, how many spots we got today?

Just one. Just one. Just one. Wait for that vitamin spot. Oh, yeah. How's it going? I'm looking. I'm getting them got the vitamin.

So, yeah, we're waiting. He looks better. Does he? He does look better and his gimp is gone. Wow. And like, these may be wonder pills, so we'll reveal who's supplying and what these vitamins and what once we do. Yeah, that I did.

Oh, I did the spot. I already did the spot. Oh, you did the spot already? Yeah, it was. Care of. Care of, yeah, that was the vitamin. Oh, because I had a whole, I had, you should have told me you did it

because I could have played it. I could have tacked on the end of the episode. I recorded the questionnaire with me and get them. Oh, they're good. To see what kind of vitamins he needs. Oh, like when we were doing that episode, I totally forgot about the spots. I was like, shit, so I was hungry.

I had to do them. We'll attack it on the end of this episode. Yeah, why not? That's all deck on the attack it on. Okay. That vanilla, the vanilla with the way you've in that, the protein that they sent to the shake, that some almond milk, it's the best.

Oh, you're taking these. This I got, yeah. And I was, I'm safe enough. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they got this way protein. Oh, it's like steroids? No, it's powder. And it's just protein after you work out.

Oh, like, it makes your muscles harder. Well, I don't know what I think. What I do. I was gonna say, what I do is make an eye shake out of it just rigging on my back porch. I really worry about the working out part so much. I'm a coconut. I would umbrella in it. I'm not fucking ripped yet. You're not. That's what doesn't work. But no, get him. You know, he had a,

this question here that we did reveals a lot about the personal issues that get him deals with on a daily basis that, you know, I didn't know about, I mean. Like what? A lot of urination problems. Really? Get him as urination issues?

Yeah. Like, what way? He was showing me his cranberry pills that he had. of your nation problems. Realize your nation as you? Yeah. Yeah. Like, you walk away. He was showing me his cranberry pills of some stuff he had been doing. He loves to freak out girls with like foot issues and your energy. I know. Yeah, because he gets a reaction. Like when Helen speed down one time, she's telling them about his foot and she's like,

oh, she's horrifying. Because he doesn't, because he, he's's been reinforced almost like a dog like if he doesn't say anything He's ignored like a ghost But if he says something that like you know, well, at least I'll repulse or at least I'll get a reaction Right, so he's so he breaks out the list of not invisible. Yeah, I have you know, I have six toes and you know Webt fee yeah, all that So many things wrong with my feet. You wouldn't even believe it. They're storing urine in them.

Yeah, but you know, he has, he can't stay asleep. So we got the questionnaire down and we got the perfect mix of vitamins. Yeah. That's going to cure him. I mean, I expect him to be a change man once in this regiment is, you know. Take him like that. He looks better already. He took, he said he had,

you know, he wanted to solve his hair issues. What's his hair issues? He said that he doesn't like that. He's getting some, some spots that he doesn't like in the back of his head. So he said, so there's some vitamins that can help him regrow hair. He said, I mean, we're, like, obviously we're doing a second spot for free, but you want to get 50% off your first care of order go to take care of an enter code TESD50 that's TESD50 take care of .com enter code TESD50 and that is that is for the Yeah, just go check it out. And like, yeah, as a short quiz that you can do. Yeah, I'm Tony. I will play the quiz that me and get

him took that I administered to get him to figure out what his chemical, his ideal vitamin regimen would be. You're like a chemist over there, man. No, no, no, I just asked you to answer them. I didn't come up with the exact percentage of vitamins that he needed. Right. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, here we are talking urine. Good question, yes. Yeah. Mac Weldon. Which one are you guys buying? Which one is this? Just these? The sweats. The sweats, yeah. Ace.

Ace sweatpants, that's it. Not radius pants. No, that's ex-sweating. That's ex-sweating. Not a Sunday lounge pants. No. Okay, so now here we go. What do I do?

I'm not really good. I also have like a cashmere pants and shirt for like sleeping. Oh, yeah. I bought with with my with my code. I bought three pairs of those sweatpants. They're the best man. I really I said them myself, you know, I'll use the sweat pants the most so that's why you chose to use my code on. So more more into the wedding stuff. to use my coat on. So more into the wedding stuff. So we get ready that day. She gets ready with her mom showing her tits off to anybody who wants to look.

I know. And then I guess it's time for the, the, what do you call it? The ceremony. The ceremony. The ceremony. Well, going through the pictures, it's pretty funny.

Like you noticed things that you didn't notice before. Now, Walt, you bought a new suit and you looked like it wasn't white, but you had a very like Tony Montana vibe about you, you know, Tony Montana. Yeah. Like it was, like your shirt was buttoned down more than like that scar face. Scar face. Say hello to my little friend. Yeah. I didn't think that at all. I mean, I was so pale. Chain. You're not much. No, no, he didn't have a at all. I mean, I was so pale. I'm not pale. No, he didn't have a gold chain. He had his... Well, I saw a gold chain.

I was not wearing a gold chain. No, he had the... This is what I was wearing. The dog tag chain. Yeah, just a gold chain chain. But it was the way you're wearing it. Like, the shirt, like, the collar was kind of like open a little bit. The shirt's open.

The jacket's hanging open. I don't know. you look good I thought. You look very like a smooth operator. Oh yeah, how it tastes? Well, it took me a long time because I was fighting tooth and nail to not wear a suit with my wife. Right. And she just wore me down and just, you know, eventually just we made it broker to deal where I would wear the suit. Yeah. What did you get out of it? Some deal. Some deal.

What was your advice on the wedding pot on the podcast? You said just cave. Yeah. Yeah. You just give in cave Yeah, yeah, you just give in eventually yeah cuz it's just like you know, I just was like yeah, all right, I'll wear a suit And it was it was you wore a suit, but it was like as as close as you could come to not wearing a suit by opening a tie right that was that was the deal I broke her and I was like I'll wear the suit, but I'm not gonna wear the tie. Mm-hmm. I'll show her Oh, wait, so we lost the episode. So your dance didn't hear about that.

They didn't hear about anything. Right, okay, so I wanted to get this in because I think that people would love this, right? Mm-hmm. So, your first dance, you guys, like you go out and you start doing this waltz, this bullshit waltz. Very, very, what would you say? Classic, Closet, and then traditional. Traditional, that's where I'm from. Completely unexpected. The music changes, did it scratch? Like, we didn't, it didn't. I love you go, I love a good needle love a good needle scratch and then you Did the dance the full day you stop busting out disco maneuvers? Yeah, it was missch commoners machine gun and it was the

The dance in the montage that he does In boogie nights, yeah, and boogie nights, but you did it We did it and you committed and you do both new every it was a full-on choreographed perfect dance 70s disco dance. So these disco dance. It was a full-on choreographed, perfect dance. Seventies, disco dance. So, these disco dance. It was pretty fun. It was awesome. I kept that from everybody.

Yeah, there were certain things I told you, I was like, there's certain things you're gonna like. Yeah, it was fun to watch, man. That was wonderful. I don't think we told out a little. I don't think we told out a little. You started a little slow, and then you just, somewhere like a quarter into it,

you just busted into it. Yeah. I mean, it would go, it was great. Because it happened faster than I thought it was going to. So once it started, I was like, all right, let me catch up and get there. But even when I went back and looked at the pictures, you can tell that I'm way stiffer.

That like her arms are like, they look like, it looked like they're broken because they're in so many different ways, whereas mine are pretty straight. I'm fucking white guy. I'm 53. I'm not a dancer. The muscles are calcified.

Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. And your idea. It was great. Yeah. I was like, we should do this. There's one of those things very later on.

I'm like, why did I say we should do that? When I'm actually learning the dance and teaching it to you. Yeah. Because she's been dancing a long time. So she Yeah, that's a few times So that was fun, but even earlier like when When Mary like sage was the flower girl and started like I don't know 50 feet back from where she was supposed to You're fighting her on the floor.

You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor.

You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor.

You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. You were fighting her on the floor. like her reaction, it made me blah. I was crying. And then she just turns around and it's like, come on, Bestie. And then she starts throwing the petals and we aren't even near the altar yet. Ha ha.

Still so cute. Yeah, I'm still crying. And then it's time to walk down the aisle. Walk down the aisle crying, got to the altar crying. I thought she was gonna faint. Me too. I was, at one point, I put my hand on her back. Yeah, I was like, got to the altar crying. I thought she was gonna faint. Me too. Yeah, I was, I won't put it, put my hand on her back. Yeah, you can see it in the picture.

Yeah, reaching out like, you're right. I thought she was gonna go down, I was like, geez, I got at least a look like I'm gonna try and do something. Yeah. Oh. No, you could cry. I want to know, I want to know. I wanted that, like so many motions went through my head.

The one I was just like, is she, does she wanna do this? Yeah, it's like there was a moment of like, uh-oh people I think this is forced I may be crying. I started crying. Yeah, she was yeah, you were touched, huh? Yeah, and sage was crying too Well, she what did she say to you? Herrick was crying. Oh, yeah, when you were you know, she was come on bestie She said you. Herrick was crying. Oh yeah, when you were, she was, come on, bestie.

Yeah. You even get worked up now. Yeah, it was so touching. Herrick was crying in the, is that what it was over? I don't know, I just had this in his hands and he was really crying. She carries the weight of the emotion in the family.

I don't have those feelings. And she walked down the aisle to, you know, it started out as the, I think it was Paca Bel's Canon indeed, right? It was a very traditional wedding march and then gave way. There's another little Easter egg that I planted. It gave way to Sanford and Son. Mm-hmm. String quartet, playing Sanford and Son.

Yeah. And the psycho theme and like, some of the cool things, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they had a bunchm and like some of the cool things. Yeah. Yeah, they had they had a bunch of cool songs. Psycho sounded great. Psycho sounded so good. Yeah, but the Sanford and Son, like I mentioned it and she was like, oh, we'll see. And that was like way more positive than I thought she'd be about something so ridiculous. Oh, yeah. But then it was like, I didn't really talk into it. You just like decided. So that was fun. It was good. I wanted it. We just wanted it to be not very traditional, but still very fun for everyone. It was great to talk about your vows. I mean, I thought

that he's some some half the room loved them. I think a half the room may have not have been some half the room loved them. I think a half the room may have not have been all that jazz with some of the jokes that you put in there. Yeah, well, she went first and your valves were sweet. They were pretty nice. Oh yeah, there was no issues. What's she called me petty? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no But then when it was time for my voice, I don't have them in front of me and I asked the guy for the audio But he still hasn't gotten it to me yet. I asked yesterday, but there were

Well, I asked you the beginning of the way. How many references to Bangler for you? Well, there were only two and they were in two separate speeches So really there's an average of one per speech but the yeah the first the the vowels per speech. But the, uh, yeah, the first, the, the vows. Two more than two. One more than two. I, I, because I remember that night being three. Wow, I go, I said, you know, you put three reference to the

staff, the sex of the man's daughter and you're wedding. He, uh, we saw a picture of him too. He, uh, yeah, it was, um, he looked very like sort of stoic in most of the pictures. And then there was one where like the ceremony was had started and he was turning back. Yeah, like he was taking his seat. He was taking my bouquet and was sitting down and he was crying. And I was crying like he just read fucking greeting card. Now I got a question that I don't know if I'm being too intrusive that'd be the word sure

they think that's what you're gonna say like and now traditionally the father pays for the wedding what this is not a traditional wedding some of it was tradition yeah he paid for it he didn't pay for all of it he gave her um he said he told you when you were young, right? Oh, yeah. If you should ever get one yesterday.

No, you were, you were, you were young. You were young. You were young. You were young. You were young. You were young. I remember when I was like 10 years old, my dad told me there's X amount of money in the safe for you if you ever want to alope at 10 years old.

I'm like, what is it? Oh, even mean. But do you think technically he shouldn't have given it to you? So you took the money from the safe? He had somebody crack. No, he just gave me. Oh, okay. He just gave me that.

That'd be a low opinion amount of money. The aloping money. Yeah. Money goes fast and I'm going to tell you this when you're having a wedding. It's just like, oh, yeah. Well, I mean, well, you know, you're doing it at a little bit different stage of life. So you had a little bit more at your disposal than we had to, you know, for our wedding,

but it didn't matter. I remember you're wearing a pelling. It was, I mean, your wedding was way bigger than mine. You had a lot of people there. It was like, it was a pretty cool affair. Yeah, I just say, it doesn't matter what you spend on. It's not about the money. It's about, well, I mean, it does matter. It was like, it was a pretty cool affair. Yeah, I just say it doesn't matter what you spend on. It's not about the money. Well, I mean it does matter. It kind of matters. It's the way some money. Really is. I gotta say like burning money. It is, but there's no way you can turn around it. I

can't tell her no. And not because I'm like, oh, I can't tell her no. It's like, she won't listen to no. She's like, I'm planning the whole thing. So this is what I want to do. And I'm like, I don't have, and never have had a dream wedding in mind. And she haven't. But you have very specific ideas of what you wanted and wanted to do.

So I was just like, I made some executive decisions. When you told your parents you were getting married, what was the reaction? Change the combat. That's safe. He spent that money. He could afford to fuck.

He was on TV. He could throw his own wedding. That's what Meth and Gouch the rise out. No, my mom said, oh, I knew it. Like, I knew it. Oh, really? And my dad, hey, that's like, I can't, I don't remember like, how you dad I'm getting married, you know,

I never had that conversation. Well, he didn't, you never, you didn't have a conversation about it. No, not really. I just talked to my mom. It would, I mean, I'm just being, again, I mean, but like, I can't even imagine. It'd be insane, right?

Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, you need I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, composed as your father was if I don't or was married. Literally it's wife's marriage. I just I would have to remember you said having done drugs. That would be the day I'd be like we're going to fucking North Jersey. We're going to first drug dealer we see and you're fucking pumping me up full of fucking whatever. All the drugs that he has. I need to take them all I get me a fucking ice cream scooper come gouge my eyes out

Is that what he said? Now certainly you've you must have met one of Caitlin's boyfriend's right are you the disapproving dad? Are you like this guy's gonna have to I don't acknowledge it. Oh He never comes to the house. No That seems healthy So you're like he can come to the house, but then you have no guidance in the matter How much guidance what I have if he's there I Don't know

I'm one fucking uncomfortable. That's the only thing you would change if he came over. So what, what do you guys married? Do you think you'll, you'll try to form a relationship? Uh, yeah. I think then, then I'll, then I'll, you know, be forced upon me to hang for the wedding. Yeah, it'll, you know, it's, you know, and my wife tells me all the time she puts, you know, be forced upon me too. Playing for the wedding. Yeah, it'll be, you know, it's, you know, and my wife tells me all the time,

she puts, you know, it's like that Goldberg's episode where you try to learn something. She was with my dad this way to you. I was like, no. Yeah, Joe is real nice. Did he ever, did he ever, was he ever cold? And not just say anything and just pretend that like you had blinders on?

No, she's like, so why do you do it then? I was like, they not just say anything and just pretend that like you had blinders on, no. She's like, so why do you do it then? I was like, I'm an asshole. You're dead. Sometimes it's like because I'm an asshole. Because I want to be sure. I'm just an asshole right now.

Because I'm not emotionally equipped for it. The problem is if you're not aware of yourself. And that's when you can really like, I think affect other people in a negative way, but if you're like, look, I fully acknowledge that this is not rational or reasonable, the way I'm behaving. And no, I wasn't affect other people in a negative way, but if you're like, look, I fully acknowledge that this is not rational or reasonable, the way I'm behaving. And no, I wasn't treated this way by your dad, but I can't help it.

It's just the way it is. But you know, when she brings it down to that level, I feel guilty. I feel like ashamed a little bit of the way I act and the way I'm so foolish. Does it affect Caitlin? Do you think? Is she not like like I desperately watching me my dad. He's so cool. Just like my parents. Not at all. No, it doesn't come up. And it you know what? And if I don't have to address it longer, I can go out addressing it the better

I will find him. Yeah, right. You know, Ray, Cairo Practor Ray.actor ray he has a daughter who's autistic and one time he he was saying that he was glad that she was autistic because he couldn't handle guys coming around and trying to like data and like you know skulk and about and shit and i was like that's so fucking weird that somebody would be like that but i can't

tell you how many times i think with sage like the shit I'm not gonna have to go through, like the fucking I'm not gonna have to do. I also make an admission that I often envied you because you don't have to deal with a lot of the things that happen as my daughters grow older that are so hard for me to accept and so hard for me to Hard for me to accept and so hard for me to Just deal with it's just like It sucks. Well, it's a it's a true case of like Those are my little girls. I don't give a fuck how old they get those two are my little girls and anybody else is an interloper any dude coming in But you know what though, but then I see you know other like I see Sun and laws and fathers like you know what though, but then I see, you know, other, like, I see Sun and Laws and Fathers like, you know, like around me

around like that small circle that I have that I deal with and they're like tight and close and they do things. So at one day, I hope to get to that point. I'm not always going to be this way. Yeah, I think I have to grow into it slowly. Give me a fucking break. What are you supposed to do? You're supposed to commit all this time to a boyfriend

Yeah, let me become a man. How long is he gonna be the boyfriend? Let me let me save it for when we know he's the one He's the one. Yeah, because otherwise you get close to this guy then they break up and it's like where's my friend? Yeah, it's just worrying. I mean, it's just worried about my feelings. No one cares about my It's self-preservation. I do I totally know But yeah, I'm often I mean it's weird that you mentioned that because I would never admit that I love it I like like like when I'm worried about them when they're out and I fucking bug in my wife Like did you be retarded? Like what

Go ahead They're like, what? Nothing. She's, go ahead, go ahead. I don't care. Give me the high-screw screw. When this, like, it's there, it's supposed to be home at 11. And it's 11.15. And I go in, I wake my wife up and I'm like, text them. Fucking trace, trace them. Because she had that tracer. I go, where are they?

And like, she's like, why are you waking me up? You do it. And I'm like, I don't want to be that father. I don't want to be like, like bugging them. up? You do it. And I'm like, I don't want to be that father. I don't want to be like, like bugging him, but they'll do it. But I'll be this husband. I'm gonna protect him. And I sat there and I go like, man,

I just wish they didn't, this stage never happened. Yeah. You know, and you won't have to worry about those things. Yeah, I mean, she is definitely a romantic. So she talks about having boyfriends and stuff, but it's so far off. But you'll never have to worry where she's at. No. And, you is definitely a romantic. So she talks about having boyfriends and stuff, but it's so far off. But you'll never have to worry where she's at. No.

At midnight. Right, right. Yeah, if she comes home. You know, you never had to be like, well, I don't want to say never, but like there is like a little bit of like, you don't have to worry until like, not go to sleep until they're not there.

Exactly. Oh, it sucks. Yeah. It's horrible. And especially what does Kate even have a curfew anymore? Because I know you didn't at that age. No, but we, but you know, if she's not there, and a certain, like, she usually comes, she's like my wife,

she goes to bed very early and wakes up very early. So if she's not home by 10, it's unusual. So if like 11 o'clock rolls around and she's still not home I'll fucking bat bar gin. I don't even know. It's bar gin. It'll be like Tex-Kateland Yes, but I guess it's all part. I mean, it's just a circle of life man. It is Yeah, I mean my mom went me and my wife went out her first go like dating and she was like she never stayed out late and she was coming home at two o'clock in the morning. The way she said shit, you know, I'm sure it was bug it was driving her parents crazy to. Really cringes seems like she'd be cool like no parents really really quote unquote cool as cool as I try to act.

They lie even at girls, you're fucking me. I'm gonna have to play. Yeah. I'm gonna have 18, it's 11 o'clock. I was thinking of parents though. I feel one of the best moments that your wedding was when the DJ. Oh, the DJ. You're right.

Well, it's paid this picture. Yeah, so we did the traditional mother, son, dance. Not before, it was the traditional father, daughter dance, which went on for eight to nine minutes. Like, I don't know why you picked such a long song. I don't know why. I should have had him cut it. They have this, what they call a family band.

Like everyone in the family is into this band, Blue October. Like you go to shows together and stuff, right? Oh, this is a real thing with your family. It's called Blue October. Blue October. Is it rock band? Folk music? Real depressing type of stuff. Yes, absolutely. Blue October. Is a rock band? Folk music. It's not rock.

Yeah, it's depressing type stuff. Yeah. Like, you know, head? No. Well, I don't know. I'm not going to fucking look them up on iTunes. Yeah, they are on iTunes. Oh, yeah, absolutely.

So we might not hate me into the ocean. I'll let you. So that's what this song you picked at Dance 2 was a blue octave. Was it a blue octave or something? Oh, and it was significant. It meant something to your father too? Well, we just like the band and it was like one of their slower dancing songs. If you listen to the lyrics though, it's not a very nice song.

I think everybody had passed by the lyrics and we're like, is this gonna end? No, no. Yeah, no, believe me. I know you're thinking that people were like, this dance was going on too long. Nobody was thinking that. And if they were, as soon as the DJ said, yeah, so the DJ who's like this, hold on to say she's like 60. Yeah.

Very like, like a frantic energy about her. More energetic than Jillian. Yeah, I told her like you could be one of those tour guides at Disney where they describe like, and over here, blah, blah, blah, she's like very good at that kind of stuff. But when Pam and I are about to dance, and I picked Moon River, Andy Williams, and that song means nothing to me,

but I know she likes Andy Williams. I was surprised you didn't pick one of those Josh Groben songs. Oh, I can only do so much. It's my day. It's an Andy Josh Groben. That would have been funny though. That would have been funny.

Like in retrospect, yeah. Because you wouldn't have expected it. Yeah. But yeah, it was Andy Williams. But as we're stepping out there, the DJ is like, and now time for the Mother Sundance not only does Brian lover love his mother, but she's his best friend Did I even look at you? I remember looking to the side and being like,

Eric and Darren both looked at me and laughed. It was like, get the fuck out of your best friend. You might have been the funniest moment of the entire wedding because I was like, it stopped me. Like, it stopped me like, what? Like, there was a lot of time where she could have asked me, like, hey, do you want to see if you weren't? Yeah, really?

Like, do you have any thoughts about, like, you know, you're... Your best friend, Persephone. Nothing, and I'm just like, everybody knows that fraudulent. Every single person here knows it's bullshit, including my mother. Yeah, it's very unusual for that moment to have such a reaction in any wedding problem. Most people would have been like, oh, so sweet. I brought the tears, maybe. I call bullshit.

It was a very strange moment that it took me out of it for a second. Another thing that was a fucking riot was when we're looking at pictures yesterday, you know, we're looking at all the group pictures. And one of them, you know, had Pam and Edgar and her parents in it. And we were looking at pictures yesterday, you know, we're looking at all the group pictures. And one of them, you know, had Pam and Edgar and her parents in it. And we're looking at Edgar. And it doesn't even look like he's wearing shoes. His pants are so long.

And his, and I noticed his coat like his jacket is long too. Like do you remember, I don't think you would know what you saw, you saw 30 rock, right? Sure. Yeah. Do you remember Liz Lemons agent the little little thing? Yeah. Like that's kind of how he looked, but I couldn't believe how long his pants were and I'm like, I wonder why he didn't get them altered.

Is it he's getting smaller? He may be. I mean, people do shrink, right? Yeah, that did just pretty short to begin with. You took a shot of your brothers during your speech that was such a fucking solid hit. Oh, it was good. What are you talking about? He was talking about me and he's like speech that was such a fucking solid hit. Oh, it was beautiful. You were talking about me and he's like,

I was a great speech, but he goes, I love you. He goes, well, more than a brother, I guess. Oh, yeah. Oh, you turned, you turned, you turned, you looked at me again. Oh, yeah. That was an audible groan in the audience. Oh, you were there to just went over.

He's an older, you're not. But that was a good punch for God. I was like, well, I know, He's not saying a nice thing about me, everybody. He's saying something about his brother. You don't know him. You don't know how he's thinking. That was not touching. That was funny. The DJ also, Q and I were sitting around talking, and she was talking about kind of normal

stuff than talking about acting in New York and how she went out for some roles and I was like, well, why did you stop? Like, why did you come back and she was like, you know what, I was just sick of that casting couch. You got like, kind of like, like, angry about it for a second. Well, casting, like Harvey Weinstein casting couch and she's like, yeah, but didn't go any further. She didn't really go into detail,

but I did not expect her to say that. And we were just like for someone to get sick of something, means they've experienced something over and over. Yeah, that's right. And I was like, whoa, I mean, I guess technically it could get, you could get sick of it once, but that's not usually how people use the term.

But how she said it. No, she gave it the old college try. I'm going to put up a picture of the cake. Cake was awesome. Which was, what was it, Charm City? Charm City cakes. This was a big one. Hashtag team Duff.

Yeah, she wanted. She wanted a... Is this a popular guy? It's a food network guy. It's a TV show. Oh, it's like Buddy from fucking cake boss. Yeah, level. Yes, more popular than cake boss. I don't know Show still yeah, he's a lot more popular Name to then

Taste it real good, but yeah, that's one of those things when she told me how much it cost. That's what I'm like. People are gonna be shitting this out in 12 hours. You did get that aloping money, right? Yeah, yeah. Make sure to get that first. What is a cake like that go for? It was 1500.

Oh! And that was not a huge cake. Falker flower eggs. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want people to think like, oh my god, I must have been the most extravagant wedding because other things were kept in check. And that was not a huge cake. I'll get flour eggs. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want people to think like, oh my god, I must have been the most extravagant wedding

because other things were kept in check. It was pretty extravagant. You have a string quartet. We had a string quartet. I mean, the location alone was. Yeah, that's what I wanted the string quartet. You're a mansion. Yeah, it was so beautiful and automatically elevated.

Did you go into the bathroom? That's the one thing I would just be like, that was the only thing that took me out of like, I mean, a mansion. Did you go into the bathroom? That's the one thing I would just play like that was the only thing that like took me out of like I'm in a mansion. Did you go into the bedroom? Oh no no because I had a room so I would just use it. It was so fucked up. Was it? The bedroom. There was pictures of local sports celebrities on sale. Oh yeah, Ming bought one. Right by the urinal. Oh yeah, Ming bought one of them. Yeah.

Out of the bathroom. Yeah like one of them. Yeah, I had another bathroom. Yeah, like Baltimore or real players, like $10 for an 8x10 and you just pluck it off the wall where you just took a whiz. Yeah. It was just covered alone. But the whole mansion was like that. Like outside my room was all artwork for sale. I thought it was pretty cool. Like I liked it.

I thought it was like a nice vibe. I just wonder why, like how many 8x10s of orals can they sell? Well, it's not just vibe. I just wonder why, like how many eight by tens of Oreos can they sell? Well, it's not just that, I asked about it. I was like, wow, that's pretty interesting. I like the way you do that. And she said every single thing in the house is for sale. Yeah, it goes like everything at a price station. She's like, if you like anything in this house,

she goes talk to us. Well, well, so. That doesn't set off any kind of, like maybe they were squatters and they really don't own the shit. And they're just, I mean, that's weird. They'll like everything everything for sale. What are you interested in Mr. Q? I think

I'm moving an hand. Mr. Q's is how much of those they would have they would have given me a price. Yeah. I mean the Ming buying that I was like was ten bucks ten dollars but he was happy with it. Did you guys did you buy anything Q You I didn't buy anything. Yeah, we bought a Satan picture and a mirror Right and a me a little me and we got a little clown dish the wind we were checking it out Oh, yeah the clown dish. I didn't tell you this but I might check in right? I got a my roommate world that the bed. There were two spiders crawling around the bed get out Yeah, like black spiders wait on the bed itself onto the mat like when I lifted the cover

So it's like holy fuck so I called down and they changed the sheets and they're like yeah, that's Sometimes they come in through the door over there some mansion. Yeah, I saw the mouse We're raising spiders you could buy eggs if you want mr. Cue you could buy eggs if you want Mr. Cue. You're on your own little planet. What's a little planetary? A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. I'll do is that I can't remember the vows Exactly when this guy sends me the audio. I'll just tack them on probably not this week next week though The other thing that I thought was funny was Mary Beth was like hey if you to her dad if you want to say a few words before the you know before I gave my speech You can and so I mean I want to play that too because her dad

Started talking about her and then it's sort of devolved into like what the fuck is started talking about her and then it sort of devolved into like, what the fuck is he talking about? I remember this. He's like, you know, Mary Beth was always an individual and a picket leader. She wouldn't eat meat. Well, sometimes she had hot dogs. He's like,

now is like, is he trying to fuck up all the Brian Johnson? Oh, he's trying to, yep, he's trying to throw a four in appropriate joke in Brian Johnson. You fucking fool. I mean, you ain a poor inappropriate joke to Brian Johnson you fucking fool I mean, we never get out to Brian Johnson when I have room right here Oh, you poor You like at a chance

But yeah, he started to ramble and then he was just like all right Yeah, just sort of He said something about you like I Porter some milk. Yeah, but no, he said something about you. Like, I poured her some milk. Yeah. And she cried that I didn't want you gave me too much milk. Yeah, thank you. You sat down. Yeah.

I cried about, I cried over milk. It wasn't spelled about. Then my brother was going to drink it, and I was like, I'll drink it. So that my brother wouldn't drink it. I don't know. I don't know if it was a story worth repeating was let alone twice right here. I think it did.

I'm going like, I'd cut that short, probably. I would repeat that story. I want to see my toe fungus. Yeah. Yes, and that was, I can't, I don't think there are any more. Did anybody, did anybody fuck up on the wedding gifts? Did anybody not give you anything? Do you have anybody on your list?

I mean, there are people, I mean, I think you have a year though, right? To give something. Should I call them out publicly? I'm wondering if there's anybody on the list that you're like, they're not gonna give me anything even within the year. Well, you tell me, I'll tell you who hasn't given anything yet.

Ming, Daring, and Nuff You Hunter. You might get one. Ming, DARREN, and nephew Hunter. You might get one from Ming, I think you're out of luck on the other two. Yeah. Hunter was very appreciative though. He tried to give me money for the rooms. And I was like, no, no, I want to pay for it. That was the thing.

So everybody could come. You don't going to worry about it. That's nice. That kind of thing. So I'll keep everyone apprised. Yeah. And if within a year's time, I don't get a gift on it. I'll dox How is that right doing can I get an air of update like how is he doing? Last I spoke to me was doing okay. Yeah, he seemed all right. I do

What's that? Yeah, he said the fires are you know a lot of that? Yeah, it's like it's fucking crazy. Yeah, is he close to it? Yeah, oh Skin some stress. He's up in Oakland right he's like he's like the air as well. This smoke is just like yeah He's up in Oakland, but I mean like Oakland itself is I Think it's like what you would consider a shit hole city kind of pretty much So no, no, no, no, no, where he like I know fancy moj I know he's like what you would consider a shit hole city kind of pretty much so no not where he like I know fancy moj I know he's not living there, but Oakland proper is like one of the most dangerous cities in the country. Oh, yeah Shit, oh yeah, that was really nice a lot of gangs and stuff. I don't think you should not think of Oakland Los Angeles in that No, Oakland, California, it's up north right right outside San Francisco. Yeah, really? Oh, yeah

Yeah, the Raiders used to play Mm-hmm, but the place was so nice I was there I'm sure there's no Upper West side and then there's you know, yeah Way up there. Well anyway, he said the air quality was so bad He was like, but is any danger is of his fire. I don't think so. Okay, but he was like it's really is like the air is just Everybody's gonna wear a mask anyway, right?

You well now you got to do it in your own home. Oh, wow You got to wear a mask in your own house. No, you don't have to Oh, yeah, you had to have a fucking kick ass filtration system That sucks. It's just Can do you think 2021 will it could it be more a little more positive do you think 2020 is like it's It's so like trite and cliche to say it at this point, but it's I've never seen more fucked up your animals fucking crazy there. Every time you turn around, what good has happened? We got married. There's that. I don't know if it outweighs. General populace is a 10,000 deaths you say.

general populace is a thousand deaths you say And it's like I saw the other did you see the Lancaster thing? There's another right Lancaster and what happened was this guy is He's bipolar. He's off his meds. He's acting crazy. He's trying to break into his mom's house His mom calls a cops cops show up guy comes out of this like on a stoop like like a brownstone stoop almost with a knife. Okay. Cops like drop the knife drop the knife. The guy starts to charge you got him.

This is the way the cop should react these days. He turns and runs away. The cop runs away until the guy starts catching up to him and the guy he cop turns around and shoots him. Which I and the city erupts into violence, you know, like there's smashin' and lootin' all this other shit. I would like to ask any number of those people, like, if this is you, cop or not,

and you have a gun in your hand, and there is a guy like six feet away from you with a knife, and he's like, you could see it in his eyes. Like, you know you're gonna be able to see it in his eyes, it's like, I wouldn't act any differently, and I would define he one to say the thing that Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees was coming after you. Which is what it is. Yeah. It's basically what it is without the mask. Yeah. You were speaking about how fucked up 2020 is. I saw this news article. Did you guys

hear about what the Pope said about COVID? No. And now usually I'm not one to bash religion because feel like everybody bashes it. Yeah. You know, and I feel like, um, it's not cool to, to constantly bash religion, but this is really fucked up. He said that he thinks gossiping is a plague worse than COVID. It's worse. Let's make a big effort. No gossiping.

Hope took time out of his day to do dress gossiping. Isn't he the voice of God? This is crazy. I mean, is he okay? That you have to like wonder like, what, what, what, what, what, what some, what shitty thing was said about him that you thought?

Jesus, what did he read on Reddit? What did he read on Reddit? him that he read on reddit So angry that he came out and said it's worse than COVID Worse the COVID do you think that like anybody who actually knows the Pope personally talks shit about him? Of course. Well, isn't it a sure friends, but isn't that the sure far way to go to hell though? You know he's the second in command. I mean, he's the first in command on the planet and you talk bad about him. You think God's got his back to the point where if you talk bad about him. You think God's got his back to the point where if you talk bad about him, he's sending you to hell for alternative. I wouldn't take

a chance. I mean, I gotta say like I have gossiped. I don't think I've ever said a negative thing about the Pope though. I wouldn't have a reason to never certainly never gossiped about it because the gossip would imply whatever you're saying isn't true Right? Yeah, but I mean there's I mean it's a fucking shitty thing to say especially with the history of the fucking Catholic Church about God I mean about you know all the things that Mm-hmm that have gone on and all the heels of getting a billion dollars from the government Like for which the money billion the Catholic Church they applied for the business loans and all that other stuff. You're fucking kidding me, middle-aged bitches!

They're not paying taxes, they got a billion dollars and I think they're gonna use the money to pay off all these fucking settlements with... Are you fucking kidding me? Isn't it crazy? And you're like, I want to do something about this. I want to know the first fucking thing to do. Like I wouldn't even know what to do and it wouldn't stop it anyway. Like there is such a feeling of impotence that it's like you just have to sit back and watch.

You're new pride doesn't like the word. Yeah. Oh, word, it's being used so quickly. I think I'm so getting married. I'm so happy. It's in his fucking mid 50s. Yeah, I'm just a breaker and easy. Yeah.

Yeah. We mentioned blue chihuahua. Yeah. I'm gonna tell him Steve day All right, so we are here to take the vitamin quiz on Take care of calm take care of calm and I felt that If there's anybody that's in need of vitamins, it's getting Steve Dave and I am going to okay for go My vitamins that I am entitled to for doing this monster and I'm gonna give my vitamin Supplement or whatever you want to call this

They're gonna give us free vitamins and I'm gonna give you my free vitamins. I mean, yeah, we're taking vitamins They make my stomach feel Like they upset my stomach vitamins. That's why I believe you eat them on a full after a meal. Vitamins? Are you eat vitamins? I thought you just swallowed it. You swallowed them after a meal, after you eat a meal.

Okay, yeah, every time I've taken vitamins, I felt like I've gotten upset stomachs. So I've fought, even like do you ever have the flintstones? Flintstones are not vitamins, those are candy. They're vitamins. They're awesome. I remember

Loving Flintstones. I used to love the my grandma used to give me those little I don't they were saying chewed Chihuahua aspirin yeah, and they were like the most delicious thing in the world and In hindsight, I probably ate more than I've ever showed up like I probably snuck some every now and then Yeah, my mom would have to Confiscate the bottle of Flintstones. I would go after those purple Flintstone vitamins. It was that you know Yeah, I think it was do you know, but so does take care of make shaped vitamins? I mean if every vitamin tastes like a Flintstone vitamin Nobody would be vitamin deficient. I don't believe yeah, I believe we're right. We're saying the first question. Okay What's your first name? Do you want to go at your real name?

You want to go with, I won't say that loud here. Look at what Steve or should I go at Walt then just give you my vitamins though. Well, if we're going to ask all my, all my particulars and really would matter that. But they're not going to hear this anyway though. So I'm just going to put in Walter. I'm just going to put in Walter. Steve Davidson's been a name is Walter. Nice to meet you, Walter. Okay. When it comes to vitamins and supplements, you are A informed you know more than the average person. G curious. You know a bit, but you want to learn more. C skeptical. You're not convinced yet. What are you? Come on.

I know it's A but this is wrong with you. I would have to say B. Well no, we'll go with you. Okay I would say I'm pretty informed. You're pretty informed. Yes. Is there any subject you're not pretty informed on? Some things but then I take that as a challenge and inform myself. So I'm not one of these you of these mental mendicants who just go in around learning things off memes. Okay. Okay.

Condemning the internet. All right. It's a great resource. You just got to know where to look. All right. So you are A in forms. You know more than the average person. Yes.

So I think that that was accurate as well. All right. So we go with that. Alright, an expert, huh? Well, what's going too fast? Don't worry, it'll be less than five minutes. Basics. Okay. Have you taken vitamins in the past?

Vitamins, fish oil, or similar? Yes. Yes. How many vitamins or supplements oil, or similar? Yes. Yes. How many vitamins or supplements do you take regularly? A, none, B, one through four, one through four, or C, five plus. One through four.

Okay, you have taken some supplements. I take three every day. Okay. Have you taken powders in the past? No, what's a powder? I think it's like sometimes you mix it with drinks. So like you can like just down it all at once. And that way you're getting the necessary hydration. There's nothing because I heard powder is bad for you because it's cancer, right? I think that's

how come powder. And that's only if you use it every day for like 20 years and are a woman. And you're using it down there so it's getting up in there. Okay, all right. Are you And you're using it down there so it's getting up in there. Okay, all right. Are you a male, b female, c9 binary? Non-binary. Binary, what's that? That's you an affer- an affer-

No, you neither go with those two definitions. So you have both organs? No, no, no. You don't identify with either those two definitions. You go with any of the other definitions. Like there's people out there who believe that they're... Sprite. They believe that they're sprites.

They believe that they're animals. They believe that they're non-asexers. I like this company though. Like they're covering all their bases because everybody needs vitamins. Yes, they do. Males, females, and non-binary stuff. Anything else that falls under any other category.

I'm gonna put down male though. Okay. You're confident put down mail though. You're confident in this. Yes. How old are you? 42? 42. Yeah 42. Getting up there brother. I know. All right. Do you live in the United States? Yes. I wonder why they would ask that. Probably because they have to buy by FTA regulations and the such. No, damn it. And they might not ship out of country.

All these rules and regulations to get healthy. What state do you live in? New Jersey. Okay. Basics. Goals. And in case you're joining us in the middle of this, this is for the name of the... Take care of. Take care of.

Com. What's on your mind? Specific need. You have a goal, concern, or a gap in your diet, general health, you want to take care of yourself, discovery, you're looking for something new. I would say general health. Okay. What should we explore?

We ask about three to five questions per goal. A immunity, sleep, stress, energy, fitness, digestion, brain, oh. I don't think I need any help there. I'm not sure if we could get any bigger hair. Yeah, little, little. There's stuff that can do that. There's real products.

I saw this cap, a laser cap. Yeah, that capillus laser cap. I wonder if they offer that here at takecareof.com. Skin, nails, now, heart heart bones. I'm gonna say no on bones. I would say, you have problem sleeping now. Yeah, I'm gonna say hair, sleep and stress.

Yeah, you're very stressed out, huh? I have been. What's the biggest, what would you like to cure? What would you like to take care of to alleviate? I thought I had to pick three. We asked about three to five questions per goal. So I think they are, let's try stress first. Okay.

So then maybe you try sleep. I'm going to leave. Okay. And hair? Yeah. Okay, we'll go continue. Which ones are top priority? Tough question we know. go with your gut.

Hair, stress, or sleep. Mm, I think stress is the biggest. I think stress might be causing my sleep problems. So yeah, let's say stress. And they say it causes hair problems too. Oh yeah, your hair falls out. Yeah, or turns white. Yeah, just like I heard, listen, a lot of those

in your hair cause she had COVID. This is really. Yeah. All right. All right. How do you feel at the end of a stressful day? Worked up, drained, mind racing hard to calm down. If you're worked up drained, you just want to curl up in bed. I would say mind racing. I can't imagine 148 IQ mind racing. I can't imagine a hundred and forty eight IQ mind racing.

That must be like the flesh. It's the body wants to go to the click silver and flesh combined. The body wants to go to sleep. The mind is just still thinking about stuff I said when I was four years old and I'm like, why am I thinking about this right now? All right. You so worked up mind racing hard to calm down. Yeah. Okay. Oh, you must be a pilt when you go home and your mind is racing and you're all

worked up. It's a mixture of the boat. Like, my mind is racing, but my body is like exhausted, but my body can't do anything. Yeah, I can't go to sleep because the mind's like, alright, your hair is a starting to thin, more falls out when you wash a brush, it dry. If you gently pull a hair from both ends, it snaps damaged, split ends are damaged from heat or chemical treatments. Growing slowly, it's never as long as you want it to be none of these.

I would say it's thinning. So that would be a, you know, notice in some of the Patreon videos, when I look down at, you could see a lot more skin than used to be up to. Do you have trouble falling asleep? Yes. Do you sometimes feel tired when you wake up?

Yes. I feel like, I feel like as soon as I close my eyes, I'm opening them again. Oh, wow. Do you frequently experience jet lag? I don't know. Yeah, I'm gonna say what if we, what if we're not flyers, we haven't flown?

What is jet lag? It's like you always feel like you're, like you're never caught up on your sleep, right? Oh, then that's definitely us. Okay. All right, we're on to goals now. Lifestyle. When it comes to living a healthy lifestyle,

you are a, you really dedicate it. right now are ready to get started. Um, what's that on a kick maybe? You're on a kick. Yeah, yeah, I agree. On an average day you eat fruit like a medium apple. A medium apple, what's that mean? I guess like a, I'm not like small like a macintosh or huge like a, like a gala. A banana or a half a cup of berries. Now, so these, I gotta take rarely once or twice, three times or more. Rarely, rarely. I'm gonna say you see a lot of bananas.

Yeah. On an average day. I see a lot of bananas. On an average day. I made my own special banana brand muffins with extra fiber in them. I have no idea what you need to know. On an average day you eat vegetables like a half a cup of cook vegetables or one cup of raw vegetables. A, rarely. B, once or twice. Three, three times or more.

Potatoes areable, right? I mean people have told me that they're not that they don't count They don't do anything they offer no nutrients or vitamins. I eat rice as well. So Okay, I didn't see rice even on this that's a bet. I would think rice is not a vegetable Think it is Let's put a rarely now. Let's put um... Rarely. No, let's put uh... Once or twice? Yeah, once or twice.

On an average day, you eat dairy like milk, yogurt and cheese. Rarely, once or twice, three times or more. Um... So, once or twice, because I sometimes put uh... Cheese in my mashed potatoes. On an average day, you eat high fiber foods like grains, seeds, beans, greens, vegetables, and berries. Rarely once or twice or three times or more. Once or twice, I'd like to make red beans and rice.

On an average day, you eat protein like eggs, meat, beans, and tofu. Rarely once or twice, three times or more. Once or twice. On an average day, you eat meat, never. Once or twice, three times or more. Once or twice. On an average day, you eat meat, never. Once or twice, three times. Three times. Come on, you're eating meat every day. Yeah, on the average day. Thirty-hour, only three times.

In an average week. Oh, okay, then three or more. Easily, every time I fuck it, look at you, there's meat hanging out of your mouth. On an average week, you eat fish or seafood. A never once or twice three times or more. Never. I got to watch out for those shellfish. Do you often consume five or more alcoholic drinks in a single day? Not anymore. You used to though. No, but no. Three. But yeah. No, right. You're completely dry now. Not completely. I have like maybe one, I binge maybe one, say a month,

if that. Okay. But say no now, with this no. Okay. Do you consume 15 or more alcohol at drinks in a week? No. No.

Not anymore. Proud of you. Do you have any of these allergies? Select all that apply, none? None. Wait a minute, we don't even tell, milk, eggs, fish, shellfish. No, no, I'm not allergic to shellfish. I just can't, I'm not supposed to eat it because it causes my

out, but it doesn't cause my out. Well, your extremity swell up. Well, no, just one does, but it's not like it causes my throat to, I can eat, I can eat occasionally. Tree nuts. No. I've never heard that before. Tree nuts. Well, that's like pecans and walnuts because the others are like peanuts or legumes. Peanuts, soybeans, wheat, ragweed. No, I'm allergic to anything. Nope, I have no allergies that I am aware of. Except for hardware. You're impervious.

Which you've witnessed many times. So none. Yeah, none. Uberg get them. How would you describe your diet? You prefer plant-based. You're a vegetarian. You're a vegan.

Anything goes. Anything goes. Do you have any other diet preferences or restrictions? Select all that apply. Limiting dairy. Gluten free. Paleo. Palefree, paleo. Paleo. Paleo. Paleo.

I think that's what Tom is doing. This paleo. Tom Huu. Tom Melosynowski. Oh really? He's like, from the only Sunday Jeff show, available on Patreon. It's some sort of like religious thing? No, it's going back to a diet before,

like we had refined stuff. So it's going for a more basic diet. Oh, so he's like, it's like, like Amish. No, it's like, it's like, like, Amish. Uh, no, it's earlier than the Amish. It's like Adam and Eve. It's like Adam and Eve. Dad to Tom Lassowski?

Yeah. I think he's, I think he's got a higher IQ than anybody. I'm sorry. I know you don't like to hear this. I really do. I'm like, the thing that comes up, I'm telling you, the thing he comes up with, the thing that he does, and his work ethic, it's crazy. When you come combined, that kind of intellect

also would work ethic, you've got a machine. I know you, I know you, I know that you, be gradually you're sitting there not saying anything but winsing. No, no, I think he's more talented than I am in some fields. What, he's very creative. What other fields are do you excel more than he does at? Um, please.

I'm not trying to put you on a spot. I'm just kind of, I should just ahead scratcher here. I think You know what though the building of the things. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're definitely more like that a handyman You definitely can be not that he doesn't have craft skills He's yeah, some of those that boardy made the other day was amazing. We're getting off topic here But all right, do you have any other diet preferences or restrictions select all that apply? Oh, wait a minute hold on me. So we didn't know you're limiting dairy gluten-free polio, paleo, paleo, I guess none. Okay.

Are you trying to snack less throughout the day midnight snacks? Elevances? Elevances? Elevances? I think it's a Lord of the Ring's references. Z's really yeah, so that's gonna be funny in here I guess then maybe like in other parts of the world's comment. You think this is some serious shit Well some people have like second lunch. All right fourth meal, etc. Are you trying to snack last throughout the day? Yes I mean, I really ever see you really snack. You don't see me snack here. Okay, so yes. Yes I've a little tub next in the hamper next to my food time. Thank you for snack food like a cheese cracker, you know, that kind of stuff.

In an average week, you exercise a rarely, two or four times, five or more times. Rarely. Rarely. Do you find that your lips get chapped year round or you're often get really thirsty? You're always thirsty. You're always drinking. I am always drinking so I'm sure. And your lips always look like they're like, you know, they look like too parched.

Okay, then let's say that dry-rotted rubber bands. Okay, I wasn't aware of this. Okay, I wasn't aware of this. I used to some of my romantic issues. Nobody wants to kiss those lips. They're like, to dry that rubber bands. You was, yes? Yes. Do you smoke? No.

Are you concerned about urinary tract health? Yes. Why you say it's so vehemently like so? I am because it helps, uh, it's related to kidney stones in the such. Oh, and plus aren't you also now frequently urinating constantly? I usually do. I have a little blot of a five year old, but I, I think that was back for my drinking days when, you know, drinking all that beer and goes right to the

night. There's nothing you could do about it. You're stuck now with like supposedly, uh, for what I've read. back from my drinking days when you know, drinking all that beer and it goes right to you. So now there's nothing you could do about it. You're stuck now with like, supposedly, uh, uh, for when I've read, you've got the bladder of a 90 year old. So when I read, I'm supposed to like try to hold it as long as I can,

and that's supposed to increase the bladder size. Strength. It's supposed to increase the strength of your bladder. It's supposed to help it grow in size. Have you been practicing this? Yeah, like, you know, you sit in your, shake in your foot, shake your leg, like come on, come on, come on, I gotta go another five minutes. Has your doctor recommended you get practicing this? Yeah, like, you know, you sit in your foot, shake your leg, like, come on, come on, come on,

I gotta go another five minutes. Has your doctor recommended you get more iron? If I had a doctor, I would say no. No. Yeah. How do you, so you really know? Well, I don't have a doctor, so there's no way he could have recommended it.

So no. No, you're right. Okay, I'm around to lifestyle. Around to values. Definitely nicely that. For traditional Eastern medicines like oh your or your Rita You're a believer your open or your skeptical. Oh my god. This is like I Have to see this is something I don't know if you're a Christian

Let's Eastern medicine. I don't think it's religion. It's all I mean it's all racked up in religion I have to see this is something I know. What if you're a Christian? Let's eat your medicine. I don't think it's religion. It's all, I mean it's all racked up in religion. I would say I'm skeptical. Oh! It's okay. You are a skeptic. No, no, I am unsure without more information.

So let's say I'm open. If a new product with promising research is available, you want it first. You're cutting edge. You learn more. You're cautiously optimistic. Or you stay away. Conclusive research takes time. I would say I want to see results in other victims.

Last question. Tom could try first. We're glad to have met you. How did you hear about us? This will affect your recommendation from a friend, article or blog, Facebook, Instagram, podcast. Podcasts. If they asked the podcast, I know I put in a TSD.

Reviewing your responses. You're checking the research, finalizing recommendations. Wait, just waiting here. Your recommendations are ready. Shoes what you'd like to see, you can select more than one. Oh my god, they've got powders, they've got all sorts of stuff here, quick sticks. I don't know what to do here. Let's check your vitamins. I would say vitamins, yeah. Okay, they recommend for trouble sleeping at night, some magnesium. They told us you you rarely eat fruit, so they recommend B complex.

Okay. Your hair is thinning, so keratin. Okay. Uh-oh. You told us you haven't you never eat fish so they want you to take some fish oil. Hmm. My father takes that so it can't be that bad. You're lacking. You're looking for urinary track support so cranberry. Okay. You live above 37 degrees latitude so they want you to take vitamin D. I guess means you don't get enough sunlight. You told us you tend to feel worked up after a stressful day and are trying to snack list. We recommend ash wag unda.

Ashwagandha, wow. We will learn more. It's an adaptogenic herb that's been used in traditional a yavurda for for centuries recent research has shown that ash Waganda can help support a healthy response to stress and help reduce food cravings If so do associate it with stress. Okay I would say I stress it is one of these like You know foreign land

Medicines we're answer on fire. Yeah, it's like it's like a jet. I kind of Deal going on here. I'm bugged out. You're not going next week To the podcast here, man. All right, so we're almost done We're almost done with take care of comm that take care of comms We're almost done with take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that

take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take

that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take care of that take that take care of that take care of that take care of that take And we're going to check back in with you after you've been on this regiment of the take care of dot com vitamin. Okay. Check in. We'll see you in 38. See if I'm any healthier. See if they see how the hair looks.

See if the stresses has been alleviated. See if that see if you've got the you can hold your your bladder for more than five minutes. Yes. That's that would be a that would say me. And see if those lips look anymore supple and moist. Hmm. Hopefully You hear that ladies That's my channel course all right All right, 30 days later. We'll check in with you again. See you later. All right. Bye 30 days later we'll check in with you again. See you later. All right. All right. Bye.