Tell Em Steve-Dave - #456: Musical E

Episode Date: October 7, 2020

Thanks to Q, Walt relives a familiar nightmare. How to crack a safe. Jsarge brings good vibes and comedian Steve Byrne joins the pod.

How did the devil know that I'm an asshole? What? How would the devil know that I'm an asshole? He's an episode 800, you know. I'm a fruity guy. Do you really? You're gonna stick your finger up a kid's ass. Yeah, man. I got a guy are you.

So, you. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha.

Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave. I am here with B to the Q, W to the F and B to the J. Yeah. What's up, boys? How much was going on? Looking good. You're going a little lighter with the masks these days. No cloth for you. This is the difference between the protective

difference between this mask and the mask I normally wear is like 5%. I didn't want to be late today. So I just I grabbed the closest one. I figured I could risk the 5% I don't want to be late today so I just I grabbed the closest one I figured I could risk the 5% it brings it with you guys. I had not known that there was masks that were less protective than other masks. Yeah the N95 masks are like the ones that they recommend using because they have like the filtration that's that's really good. So is there a difference between like the mask on wear right now, which is a cloth mask as opposed to you have almost like a paper one on well this is the one they use in hot like the medical surgeon masks. Yeah, there is, but but those are good. These are good.

Those are good. Yeah, anything, anything's good, but that those are good. No, I hadn't thought of this before, but do you guys, are you secretly judging me? Because I'm not wearing a mask. Because both of you guys have masks on. Do you feel like I should be wearing one? Well, in this room, I try not to worry about it because if you don't want to wear one and I'm wearing one,

it's, what am I gonna do? I feel like three feet apart. Yeah, I don't know. I wish I would take a little more seriously in general, but you have that thing in you where you don't like being told what to do Yeah, I I saw kindred soul at the convenience store today

I was I was walking out like as soon as I walk out of a store I take the mask off yeah, and he's walking in and putting one on and he goes like fucking hate this shit I mean I hated too. It's not like I own I'm like a total stranger yelling to me. I was like, yeah, me too, man. I can't fucking stand it. I had a Family issue, so I had to drive down to Florida on Wednesday and 16 hours straight drive and that was that was a lot of fun and That's our chasm that it was fun. Yeah, I would say like 80% of it was fun That you get you get towards the end and you're just like,

fuck sake, I'm in Florida, but I'm not there yet. But then I had to fly home. And I booked the flight myself through the app, and I fucked it up. So I got to the airport, I didn't have a flight. So I was like, well, I got a book, any flight to get home, because I have to get home because I was shooting something with the Fennel-Jerge Devils, which I'll talk to you about.

So yeah. You just got a little bit in her face. I heard about it. So I'm at the airport, I find the jet blue flight for to get home, but I have to hang around the airport for four hours, okay? Now, that gives you a lot of time to sit in a corner and observe people.

Holy fucking shit, nobody gives a fuck. Everybody's walking around like not everybody but a large amount of people are walking around with a mask around the chin or just like under the nose or fucking and they just don't care. Like the people that wear it down like around their neck, they don't give a fuck. Every five minutes is an announcement going, you're in the airport, you have to wear the mask up. They don't get people giving them dirty looks It's mmm sound my problem like you're just like this is fucking crazy that I get on a flight And I I just feel like I'm gonna die. It's just like I feel like I'm like I'm like I'm I feel like I'm dying I just feel like the nerves this virus anxiety

I'm in like the like the even more like leg rooms There's a guy behind me coffin. There's a woman to my left cough and the guy from the knees and. Yes, there's a guy behind me coughing. There's a woman to my left coughing. The guy in front of me sneezing. He's telling everybody he's got allergies, not to worry. He's coughing. God, meanwhile, I was flying. And the ticket was $42.

So the flight's full of the type of people. And I'm one of them who take advantage of a 42-dollar flight to the front wall and a little bit of them That's on the plane if you know if you can get that mental picture Why are you wishing that you had booked a different a more expensive flight? You thought it would be more it would be more safe though the flight that I had booked That I fucked up was it was a first class seat Which was 220 dollars, which is unheard that's normally what a fucking jet blue yeah

that's very so I bought the seat and I bought the seat next to me I was like great I'll fucking buy out the seats nobody'll be nobody will be next male fly home no problem this will be great hmm instead I ended up in the fucking even more nightmare so I was it was real nerve-wracking man like I got all my cutting shower long enough I talked about a little bit later but I was real nerve-wracking man. Like I got on my kind of shower long enough. I talked about a little bit later, but I was also on a jet blue flight last week. I got to sit next to Sage though, because they don't sell that middle run. So it's not that bad.

Like I didn't even get the extra legroom this time, because I'm like, I'll have all that room with me in her. But if I, but I would have done it, if it was just me flying. Well, the couple behind me, she sat next to her husband because they were like, we don't need them. So I'd both done what cough in the entire time. And I was like, he's motherfuckers. So it's the anxiety ramp up with every day and new, a new,

like another shoe drops, like, you know, Trump now is tested positive. And might America's Superman. No, but I mean like the anxiety though, because like the stock markets definitely have anxiety when they hear when the president of the United States is sick, you know, they they are affected. Be curious not. No, I'm not. That's all shit that's happening outside my fucking world. Right, but do you, but do you think though that like it could cause more upheaval and more, just more chaos in an already chaotic world. I feel that upheaval in chaos is coming no matter what. So it's not something I'm fearing. I'm just waiting for it to come.

Do you think he makes it through this? Or do you think so? Yeah, I do think he makes it through it. I think he makes it through it. I think we get to election in no matter what happens at the other side of that election, that there's gonna be some trouble. Have you heard the conspiracy theories? No, what's that? These are not ones that I'm starting or I'm backing. Okay, and I'll tell you what I

I've heard. Yeah, I might, when my ear to the grapevine, Trump doesn't have COVID. Does not. Is going to say he has COVID and be so sick he cannot run and has to pass the baton to to Pence and then if Pence loses he could see then he could say afterwards well I wouldn't want if I didn't get sick of course I would have won. So just to save face. Just to save face. Because he's the writing on the wall and he's like he sees those pole numbers and he's like he's got to think he's gonna be win he's gonna think he thinks he's gonna win and I think he's like, it's not happening. Yeah, but he's got to think he's gonna be win. He's gonna think he thinks he's gonna win. I think he's gonna win. There are a lot of creeps out there. Oh, I'm not there.

I don't know. I mean, you don't think that's a pretty good solid conspiracy theory, all right, for a guy who doesn't want to have to lose on the world fucking stage. But you're talking about Donald Trump. He doesn't think he's gonna lose. Yeah. He didn't think he was gonna get COVID either.

No. Right? There's no way he thought he was gonna get it. The way he was fucking, he thought he was fucking Teflon that the virus wouldn't touch him. He was like, fucking, he was wrong. He was, now look at him. And the beautiful first lady has it too.

Why don't we pay more attention to that? Because she's fucking, she's helping us. She's helping us. She has an ox, man, look at her. That's true, she's good. Nothing, nothing. She's in European stocks. She's, yeah.

They used to sit in that fucking harsh times. I don't know, man, I just think it's, yeah, the times, I mean, just when you think it can't get any more fucking surreal. I said some time ago, I remember I was having a conversation on the show, uh, you and I walked about if a president died, it wouldn't be, it wouldn't hold the same weight as when JFK died. I was like I really don't think people would be all that upset and you were like no no no they'd be upset now this is

when Barack Obama was president would you like to change your opinion would people be upset uh well I mean there would be a tiny segment I think of the other populations but the but there would be people who would be pretty happy I mean mean, it would just be bad though, because it's going to be like a very, like I said, I think it'd just be chaotic, like if he dies before, you know, the election, no, because it's never had, oh, I guess it has happened,

but not at disclos, I think, to an election. I don't think it'll work. He's gonna be fine. He thinks so. Yeah. What makes you think that, though? He's at that age group. He's at risk fucking person.

He's not that healthy, they say. Although he fucking claims to be the healthiest 75-year-old that ever was worth the planet, I think that's bullshit. Doesn't he say he lives off McDonald's fries or shit? That's bizarre. I don't know, maybe it's just a feeling because the updates are coming. He put out that video. I don't know. I it's just a feeling because the updates are coming. You put out that video.

I don't know. I think it'll be fine. Nothing live though. Nothing live. When is the ever go live, unless he's in the press room? I mean, if you went live, I'd be a little bit more, I'd give more credence to the fact that they may not be more worse than it appears to be. Or that it could be worse than it appears to be.

Sure. And look, I don't know anything that you don't know. So it's just, you're just going to get in the mood. I know. Maybe I thought maybe when you did this devil's fucking, uh, no, phone and maybe you also got some fucking dirt on the presidency. Yeah. Do tell us about this, uh, more, more hockey talk with uh, be. Yeah. Yeah. The, the devil's asked me if I wanted to. All right, so you know, Scott, I got this. Uh, do you? Yeah, of course I know. What position did he fly? What is this number?

I'm not answering any questions. I know all of this because I've fucking looked it all up before. Before I fucking talk to him. But I'm not subjecting myself to this sort of inquiry. Really? How many times have he won a cup? I don't need to answer any of these. You can go. Just wanted these. Just wanted those questions.

It would be enough. Twice. Yeah. You're okay. Thank you. Okay. So. I don't need to answer. I just refused to give it to you.

How long has it been since he played Scott Gomez? It's been some time, right? No, he's he's retired relatively recently in the you know in the in the grand scheme of the game. He's a recent retiree. I mean, I'm sure he still looks like a young man. I'm a player. Yeah, he's really good player.

He was, um, he was an excellent devil. He was one of my favorite all-time devils. And even when he left, I didn't begrudge him for going to the Rangers because they, they parked a brink's truck. Yeah. And, you know, in front of his house, and we're like, you know, please come and, but I wish he had stayed with the devils, but, you know, it didn't work out.

I mean, it worked out for him. He got a load of money. 51 million. So it didn't work out for him career wise. His career fucking kind of knows that I've left the devils down in terms of like point production. Right.

Do you care that? I don't know. This is a real question. What do you think you'd care that? If you have point production. Right. Do you care that? I don't know. There's a real question. Do you think you'd care that? If you have 51 million, and then you start slacken a little, you're like, oh, I'm just not converting these points. I think it, I think it bothers anybody who doesn't produce, especially when you got a, you got a, your city, like, bagging on you day after day.

You know, you have a score to goal in almost eight months, you know, it starts to wear on anybody, I think. He said that he feels he was part of the best team in almost the history of hockey. And it was 2000 doubles. And it was when they didn't win the cup. Oh, 2000 was when he couldn't get the, when they couldn't get the back to back.

Yeah. And he was like, I felt that team what, if we had won that, we would have been considered one of the best teams ever in hockey. I still consider that team one of the best teams ever. I might be biased. Probably biased. I'm definitely. Yeah, that was a crushing loss in game seven against Colorado. But I did he mentioned why the he thinks that they didn't weren't able to do it. I think it was because Needamire had a concussion and played with a concussion at that series.

Yeah, that sounds right. Sounds like it would affect before. Because he was such a vital player and he got he got he got knocked out like most vicious elbows ever and he then went on the play in the finals like a week later he's playing in the finals and I'm sure that had a slow down just a little bit that championship badge. Well it wasn't that kind of interview they were like because now he does this he lives in Alaska and he does this YouTube show which I I encourage anybody listening to check it out because it's called Scotty's house and And what he's presenting it as an Alaska

and teaching you survival and cooking tips. But he's so funny, the guy, that when you're watching, and I'm like, he's gotta be fucking with us. Like he's doing things, it's almost like a pet. He's almost doing a really subtle parody of these stupid videos. And he's so fucking funny. And I was like because doubles they

they asked if I wanted it now did you did you have who sets this up do you have like somebody from the devil's context you are just Scotty have his own so the devil's presented him a list of names that they wanted to reach out to my name was on it and he he picked it is a wide shot yeah of course so of course yes there's a lot of conflict man he did not mention convocment no so so they He picked it. Did you watch my shot? Yeah. Of course. So. Of course, yes. There's a lot of conflict there. I'm sorry. He did not mention convict, man.

No. So they would like, do you want to interview him and I watch the videos? They're so fucking funny. I was like, I gotta talk to this guy. So they were like, just interview him about anything. Ask him any questions you want. So I just came up with like 20 really weird questions.

What are some of the weird ones you asked him? He's a big fisherman. So I was at one question I asked him was let's say you're fishing and you catch the most beautiful last consummin ever and as you're reeling it in it starts to talk to you. What do you do? And it's and then it's you know It's just questions like that like what if a robot came back in the future to try and kill you? How do you fight it like I just throw it all sorts of one question. Really, you have an opportunity to interview two time Stanley Cup champions, Scott Gomez.

And that's the level of questions that. Yeah. But it leads to stuff. You know, you know, it hasn't been asked these questions before. Yeah. No, obviously not. It leads to stuff like one of the questions. I don't remember which one led to in the conversation and

soon I was like, well, what's it feel like to win the Stanley Cup in your first season? Like how do you? And Wikipedia that one. And he said, well, I'm not a conversation. He said that the guys were like, look, you just, you just accomplished it. So now it's all about business. And he goes, he goes, you learn very, very very fast that it's about it's a business He goes so there was some you know, so the questions were stupid, but they led to some things and he loved them

We were we were getting along we were supposed to do a half hour. We did almost two hours finally production was like How much of that will we'll see? One minutes. Oh, it's only a four minute show. It's like an interview clip. Yeah. Yeah, they want to do a half hour to get four minutes We didn't almost two hours because we're just having a blast. Do you have his phone number? Yeah, we're texting He sent me some salmon Unbelievable you want me to see if I don't want salmon Do you have a question you would ask him any your interview? I get texting right now and asking yeah

Fuck it. Let's call him. No, I. Who is actually wants to talk to us? Okay. The most intense team eighties ever played with sexually. Sent. Sent. Just you just write that with no like at a context. You just sent that to him. Well, we've been texting for the best couple of days so it's kind of an ongoing buddies no we're pals of course they sent them some Iron Age some beer he drank it loved it he sent him me some salmon this is how friendships are forced do eat salmon I love salmon he says it's gonna be the best salmon I've ever had in my entire life he caught it he caught it this is fish that he's caught he his

house is right on the stream And he just fish. He just catches salmon or not. Where's it? Well, I ask you. Oh, it does love I was gonna say that's where you go to find a frontier. Yeah, what do I move there? It was he was born from Oh, really? You're up. Yeah, go mess. Yeah. Yeah, I think he was one of the like the first Alaskan player to ever make it to the NHL He was a great great player man. He was fun Fast as fuck. He was so great, great player man. He was fun, fast as fuck. He was so fun. Great sense of humor in the interview.

Oh, he did one of the viewers, where he's wearing a, where he's wearing a grotesque hat. I see, you would love him, dude. And the guy in the interview was like, well, I see you wearing a hat for autism, where he goes, yeah, he goes, you should probably be wearing one too, but you're not, but that's cool, I guess.

Like, just, just like that. Like, that's, you know, he was's cool. I guess like he's like that He's he was really funny. He's got his houses really funny very witty. I went out to Vegas last week. Yeah It's not the Vegas that you remember in love I heard crimes like through the roof on the strip, right? I Didn't see any of that. We only went to the strip once it was was me, Mary Beth and Sage and Mary Beth's parents have a house out there So my plan was I was like, we'll fly there. We'll get off the plane. We'll drive to Grand Canyon. Check it out And we'll come on back and we'll do some stuff in Vegas So we got in late and the trip was twice as far as I thought it was to the Grand Canyon

I thought it was two hours, but it's actually four hours So I was like well, it's fucking three o'clock now Well, there's no way we're gonna get there in time to look at it. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What how long do you think it was gonna take to get there? I thought it was two hours when I was like you want to get there at five o'clock in the afternoon No, by the time we got in I thought that it would have been sooner. What time do you think you were going to arrive there? I thought we were going to get there around like four. Leaving at three, on Las Vegas. No, no, no, that's, no, leaving at one, because we were late getting to the car, please

fall on that other shit. I did not know. I didn't plan that poorly. I just, I googled it and that's what it said. Anyway, I didn't go to the goddamn great game. So we. So we're like all right well it has to be somewhat educational for See we're gonna be here a couple days. The next day like all she cares about those going to pools like that's literally all she cares Yeah, so first day she goes to the pool the next day she goes to the pool then the next day I'm like we got to do something educational. We'll go bring her to the Hoover Dam. I know she doesn't give a fuck

But for me, yeah, like it'll just make me feel better if we do something. Now, okay, I can't ask a question. I want you now, let's say you get to the Hoover Dam, right? And you're like, you keep saying, I've got to do something educational. Does it, does this, does this, you're like thinking like, okay, we're here. She saw a dam. That's educational enough. Or do you do something else to make it more educational? I mean, I can't imagine that you're like now like Doing something more than just being like there it is It's like you know In national impose the

future Where We just got there You got to set free time Let's go I mean you You said it like this It should be amazed at it because it's so it is like visually and just sound No, it's okay

It's crazy You kept using the word Educational Right That leads people to think that It is like visually and just sound. No, it's crazy. You kept using the word educational. That leads people to think that there's going to be more to it than just watching it and looking at it. That's an entire lesson. That's a success. That's a success.

You should just say, I want to show or something awe-inspiring. Unusual, yeah. Yeah. Education is painting you to be some some sort of like, you know like you're Good father Like I care You're profit yourself up there with this word

Well, you're really doing is driving by something and be oh look at that Look at that. What is that? That's great. That's great. Well, I'm sorry, thank you man. You're fine. I'm not only Kevin Texte at me too. It was like I'm interviewing Bartan Brodor this week.

Oh wow. Yeah. And then he says, oh yeah, you got to interview Scott Gomez I heard. Kevin? Yeah, and then my phone, I'm like, wow, two guys who don't know shit. And don't be a fuck. We should be a fuck.

Well, I mean, other than, we're forced to Wikipedia. God forbid, if you're gonna net one out, you have to fucking make that, and you have to fucking get, make that interview happen. This is an outrageous fucking thing. Yeah, you know, I've watched Devils my entire life. Yeah. That was the last game you really watched from beginning to end.

Uh, but I mean, the most last game you really watched from beginning to end. Oh, probably in march when we shut down yeah okay what was the last game the last game of the shutdown what happened it was uh... it was a big fight yeah no fight no more elbow thrown that's i'm just saying it's it's a little it's a it's a very very

i mean it's a pill to swallow this attitude that you carry around with you that prevent you from getting You sort of would you know that I'm an asshole. What how would the devil's no Now how much homework do you do for this is it like if I know nothing I know I know Joking aside like I know Scott go home as I I watch them playing everything like that not like you have right Okay, I like that. I like you At least you'll admit it But I'm aware of who he is. I've seen him play and you know and and I always liked him

So I didn't have to do that much really what I did is I watched just to get a sense of him I watched interviews with him on YouTube. What do you call him Scotty? Yeah, not gom or yet No, not yet. We haven't gotten to that yet. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that was his nickname on the ice. Yeah, I wouldn't presume to Just start on the gulmer. Yeah, take a little while Yeah, I work on it. I think even Scotty is a familiar familiar, right? I think even Scotty is familiar, right? Well, you know, they show Scotty's house. Oh, it's Scotty's house, so I just wanted to do that.

So you did, what about when you got to the dam? What happened then? We never made it to the dam. The dam was closed. It was a dark fucker week for education. Well, the last day was my final attempt. That's a education. Mandely Bay has this

aquarium and has sharks in it. Like a big shark tank and all this, you know, all these other fish. So we're like, okay, we'll go there. Now you can't deny that's educational. And it was until halfway through the tour, the power went out and never came back on. And like they had to come and get

us and they're like, yeah, we can't finish this tour. So you're going to have to get your money back. I don't understand. And the next day we left. All the way there, I'm like, why did we do this? But I don't understand why they would have to kick you out of an aquarium with no power,

because they must have backup generators or else the fish are gonna die. You would think so, but it got dark real fast and they were like, get out. Got it, got it. I mean, fish fucking perished then parish then you think if they get those lights in, come back on. Maybe they just have it for the tanks. I don't know, it doesn't make any sense because other parts of the casino were lit up. And this is a, I mean, you've been the Mandalay Bay. This is a ghost town.

Yeah. Strip ghostly. That's the part I want to see. We went to we were done by Fremont Street. Just yeah, just not the same. Yeah. Went to the mob museum too. That was pretty cool. Did sage go? No, she didn't go. She did. That could have been the only education you got. Fuckin' on the trip. Yeah. This is Tony soprano. I'm gonna prick your finger. Tony soprano's hidden outfit there and so did Nucky Thompson from Boardwalk Empire, but it kind of seemed to stop like all of the stuff that kind of seem to stop in the

Like in the 50s. There was almost no there was no 70s or 80s stuff really Yeah, no like that's the stuff. I'm really interested and so Mobus, while Cole was mostly about Vegas mob stuff as opposed to like, whitey bull dream. I think yeah, there was some whitey bull dream area. Who's the one they did the one with the Ned Beatty? Not Ned Beatty. Warren Beatty. Oh, Bugsie. Yeah, that was a Bugsie. Boring ass movie. Yeah. Too romantic. I love, I love, I love. Is there a Warren Baty movie that you guys like? Shampoo.

Shampoo. Oh yeah. Yeah, having to wait. Having to wait. Dick Tracy. Dick Tracy. Bonnie and Clyde. I mean, how do you want us to name him?

I asked you. I asked you a question. I'm just, I can't do what it is. You like any of those? No, no, no, I don't know Warren Baty You like you don't like any of those? No, no, no. I don't know Warren Bady really. But as you said all of those, I was like, oh, I've seen them all in their goods.

So yeah. I'm going out to see Eric in a few weeks too. Gonna fly out to LA. So I'm wondering, will I get caught up in fires and riots and all kinds of shit out there, right? Yeah, what? How's he doing? Better?

Oh, it seems so. Yeah. Yeah. For what I talked to him, I mean, it seems like he's doing better. It seems so. Yeah. Yeah. For what I talked to him, I mean, it seems like he's doing okay. He took a, yeah, I saw an Instagram. He's taking pictures from his beach French chalet. Oh, he's on Instagram. Yeah, yeah.

What a follower. Are you allowed to say that loud, do you? Yeah, people can follow him. Let me see. What do you want? Everybody follow him? Uh, I don't know. If not, he doesn't have to accept him, right?

And then you'll know he's a real dickhead. Yeah. Right? Let's say we'll give it out on here. ER. Did Jeff leave? Yes. And here, leave.

It's ER, IK, J, oh, actually it's it's Eric Johnson all one word except leave off the last N. So it's Eric Johnson. So All right With the K. Yeah with a K. That's very important. You're those fucking Pam and Edgar were very fucking High flutin with their fucking misspellings of the names. I would a Y. Oh, yeah, Eric would a K They're like we're gonna separate our social with their fucking misspellings of the names. Probably would a Y. Eric would a K. They're like, we're gonna separate our social and the reference. Ah!

You'll get to see a 2013 picture of me that I don't really recall. I don't know where that was. So yeah, we'll see. I'll give a full report. Probably do some, the podcaster too with a math card. Oh, I'll be good. People love Eric Johnson, man.

They do. They love Dr. J. He's got a great sense of humor. So you said you wanted to talk to get him about something. I got a question. Well, yeah, I saw a news article. And I wanted to get a 148 IQ to weigh in on something that really seems to be bamboozling people.

There's this safe, 700 tonned safe, is it? You know, 700 pound safe that somebody inherited when they bought a house and they can't get it out of the house. So now they're they're they're they went online and now they're they're accepting people online and now they're they're accepting people's who can come in and be like I can remove the safe for you or I can at least open it for you and if you open the safe you get to keep what's inside and the person who owned the house previously owned a jewelry store. Oh and I want to know like so many people have tried they can't get it open. What would be the get-em approach?

Would be gone non-destructive or destructive. You tell me. It doesn't matter, right? You tell me. Well, it does. Some people want to keep the integrity of the safe so they'll go with it. He doesn't want the safe. He wants it out of his house.

Nobody can even get it out of the house. Yeah, they said because I think it was the the the stairwells and the the way the doors are constructed, like it must have been safe, must have been put in first and then they renovated the house afterwards. So they'd have to destroy part of the house to get it out. And you can't destroy the house. I guess he doesn't want to. No, he would. So now I thought all three you guys would up. Well, how would you approach it? You had to get this safe out. What would you be your first, not knowing anything? I would be like, what does the area look like? So I can't figure it the fuck out.

Yeah, my first thing would be like a pulley system or put some like, well, so it's not bolted to the ground or anything? No. Well, I can't, they lift 700 pounds. Just sort of, I just want to write. I mean, to save that, that heavy is probably pretty big. So it's probably a matter. I can't they live 700 pounds. Just sort of the wind. Right. I mean, to save that's that heavy is probably pretty big. So it's probably

matter. I'm looking at it right now. It looks like an old school TV like the ones with a rear projection. It's huge. I have that same safe. Yeah. Yeah, mine's green though. So how do you get it in and out? It's on mines on wheels. This does not appear. And I

have a I had a a why a wide basement door with can't they jack it up and put wheels underneath it. You're like one of those furniture like a little dolly. But wait, can I see that again? Because because that that's an interior safe. What you're talking about there. See, like this is the mind's the same thing. They got the outer door. There was a door there. So now there's an interior. Some of these old types of safes made in the 20s to the 50s.

Had an interior safe inside. So that's what they can't open. So what you would do is they would have like a slot. Like you could do like deposits in the outer safe. But then the inner safe, you needed to manage or somebody to another combination. Now, why do you needed to manage your somebody to know the combination. Now why do you think he's willing to give away the interiors, not knowing what's inside? What if like there's millions of dollars inside?

I would highly doubt that someone would leave millions of dollars in the safe. Then you leave thousands of dollars out and fucking under your couch? In a burnable. So why do you doubt highly? If somebody would put money in a fucking place and should go, a fucking, I don't think you're a proof fucking say. I don't think it's million. And furthering that, why are we now asking him how to get the safe out? We'll see. But there's a problem with drilling because some of these old saves have, they would put these special devices on the inside that if you attempted to drill them or brute force

them, they would release this gas. Not gas? Not just gas. Yes, but it's actually. All right, Q1, this is not true. He's a fucking maniac. Who did that? I believe the Joker did.

Yeah. Laughing gas. But Batman tried to get this safe. I can't believe Pugh doesn't have a system where it would propel gas and throw a person's face. Is that really true? Yes, because I'm on a subreddit called What's In This Thing. And it was originally founded about a, this guy at a

safe in his house and he wanted it opened and didn't know it was inside and read it got obsessed with it so they created it their own sub-redder for it and people who have safe post to this the sub-reddit now trying to get safe so open how but the problem is is that the whatever the chemical was has been broken down over all these years, and it's actually even more dangerous now. It's more noxious. Yes. Here that is a true thing. That is that actually found. The evidence of it. I'm trying to find the, um, now why now have we been fed a bunch of lies

by Hollywood about how easy it is to crack to like crack a safe. I, I've seen episodes of mythletters. Yes, it's, it's not. You don't put the stereoscope to the fucking. The stuff to, the stuff to scope can help. It can help some people, some people feel it by, by touch, some people do it by ear. But you have to know what you're dealing with to know what the sounds associated with it are. So, but what about, wouldn't they just get the best safe cracker in the world to come in and do it just for the PR? It takes a lot of it's not as quick and easy as like, you know, Hollywood makes it out to be, you know, it's the ocean's 11. It's easy as hell.

Like a lot of saves are a lot of saves are rated on how long it's going to take someone to break into them with brute force. And if you have access to a, you can you can just go out with grinders and start. All right, so what would you go? What would you do then? Well, they make devices that you can latch onto the safe and you can have it auto dial. Magnetic device? No, it's like, it probably does attach to magnets,

but it'll go and actually spend the tumblers in the, and go through all the possible combinations. But depending on the safes, they don't actually have every combination available. They'll only use like every other number as a possible combination. So it actually cuts you down, it'll cut it down by a lot.

And like, if you know one number, that even cuts it down even further. Doesn't he sound like an expert? He's good at it, right? This is a queue, he's fucking, he's, he's, he's, he's getting schooled on the devils on safe, uh, and this is something he thinks so far, don't know what? I guess, I guess you, the math is coming out so you can, you can't see it, that it's not a game, I know it's a game, I can see it, it wasn't small, I can see it.

The chance fucking on your, on your lap it looks like. Because what did he say? How, what, what would your approach be? The 148 approach. Again, without knowing if there's a protective device inside. Right, you're okay. Let's assume there's no not just games. And by the looks of it, it's a circular door safe.

So that means that the bolts will go out in various directions. It's not just you don't just cut down two sides in your out. So it's going to be a little tougher to get to plus with that curve. What about a torch? Could it like a propane torch? The problem with torches is as soon as it gets towards the center in the interior, it starts transferring heat. Okay. Well, basically, I'll throw an anaxx heat flows towards cold. So it'll actually start heating up the stuff inside. And that's what a fire safe is designed to stop is that the inside's from heating up.

So once you start... But the guy doesn't care what's on the inside. This is all good and fun. How the fuck are you gonna get it out of the house? Because if it's a million dollars inside, you're gonna start burning the money. Well, he doesn't care. He said the person that gets it open

or gets it out gets to keep what's in there. Then, I guess... I don't know. Yeah, but I guess you have to get it open when you get it out of his house. Because if you open it up in his house, you still haven't solved the problem getting it out. You want to know how I'm gonna do it? Yeah, I want to hear this Looking at the picture. Yeah, okay. What I do is I get a cutting torch because you notice that big first door is open

Mm-hmm So you just fucking cut the safe off around that center one Get the get the top off get the bottom off because you can because you're not transferring heat because it's not going on the interior Did you know about the transfer of heat problem? Yeah, of course. Okay. Come on. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. There was actually all the top you cut off the bottom and then you could eventually just carry the fucking thing out and the pieces. How much weight will that take off like cutting the top and bottom off? Well, it's not a weight issue, the safe. What it is, it's an issue of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of of uh, uh, minute with right because I can't get it out. You want to go with a grinder just to cut down on like the fumes and everything? Sure you could grind the metal.

I'm just cutting it, I guess. It's fun. If we're going to do this, well, knowing what I know now about what smoke does to the interior of homes. Yeah, but you get a lot of dust with the grinder. I'm, I guess you could probably set up a shop back then to. Well, you could probably also do something like that with the heat and the heat to probably go much faster too to where is this safe located?

Boston now couldn't you just take out the window like remove a window and then throw the safe outside the window and then just have it hit the ground. Well, I guess it'd be like a Warner Brothers car telling. You could it's a mechanical assault that's a lot of saves or you can do that You can just a lot of say that's how a lot of saves are removed No, I'm saying is you can break open smaller saves by that you just go out of With the sledgehammers to lay you know get so out of whack the dorses pop. No No, I mean just to get it out of the house though

Couldn't you get it like some sort of pull your wench system to get it in the air Remove a window and then push it out the window and have it hit. Make sure there's nothing on the ground underneath it, obviously. And then let it hit the ground and it's out of the house at least. And then you worry about opening the door then, right? I found that article. I'm sorry, you were saying? I cracked it already. Now, I would say probably the easiest would be maybe like take out a window and I'm around in an area. That's what I said. So you stole my idea?

No, I'm agreeing with you. Mary Beth's parents have a safe on their property. It was there when they bought it in 94 and they never had it opened. It's like in a barn or something. I was like, how the fuck, it's been over 20 years. I'm like, how the fuck can you not? It won't you off real. Hey, if I get that safe open,

can me and Mary breathe deep inside? I'll buy a bit of it, they say. Yeah, some kind of like, real tight gas. Yeah, like next time, next time we go out there, I'll offer the, bring my stuff to scope and shit and crack that.

I've only cracked one safe, and that was, you cracked the one safe. And that was... You cracked the safe before. It was, but it was, it was already... It was more of a bike locker. It was, it was already open, but no one knew the combination. So I had to take the thing apart and manually figured out from the dials what the combination was.

But we had out. I want to take you. It took me about half hour. That's it? Yeah. But again, it was easy because the door was the door was the combination was the combination was not there, but I also, but I did pick that there's actually a physical there's a physical lock on it. I did pick that. So. Tell them Steve Dave.

All right. Thank you. Yeah, that's all I'll do. I'll do a... And then you could be like Al Capone's vault, we call it Brian Johnson's vault. Then we'll film what's inside of it once you get somebody in there to open it up. What's her father doing? Yeah, we're like, that was something the Al Capone's vaulting.

Like I don't think they would do that anymore, right? Oh, yeah, they would. Would they? Oh, yeah, with the way it is today. So if you don't know about her all the Rivera Back in the late 80s, right? Yeah, he Stone well they came across what they thought was Al Capone's vault. They did this hole was it live Yeah, it was live and they went into this vault to try to see what Al Capone would have had in there and it was nothing

Right, it was bottles. Yeah, just old bottles and shit, which to me is a treasure. I feel like it would be the same, but hey, who knows? And then if somebody's like, hey, you can keep whatever is in there. Does it, is it different if it's like holy shit? It's like, like gold certificate that are worth an excess of two million bucks or something? And as your fuck, it's like like gold certificates on a worth of nexus of two million bucks And as your fuck it is your wife's family and you're like, uh-huh Let me shouldn't let me have it You're not gonna be like hey man, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna hold you to that agreement on this. I'll split it with you Yeah, I'd want some yeah, I'd go have these I bet you if we did it for patreon like The opening of the maribeth vault

like the opening of the Maribeth vault. I want to know. That would be fucking intriguing man. You have a safe cracker out there. Or if you don't care if you destroy it, you can just destroy it to get it open. Yeah, I mean, if it's been there that long, I doubt it cares. I mean, I don't want to destroy the interiors. No, no, whatever's in there.

You got to care if I'll see the IP acid in there. Now, this is a doctor's home, right? Yeah. So this must be a nice home that has a safe in it, right? You would be, I always set them up to be robbed. Well, you're not giving them the address out. No, I don't know if they have a safe. The house is kind of modest.

I would say it's like... But you said there's a safe in the barn, no? Yeah, it was just, when they moved in, it was out there. So the safe... So they don't know who, like like they don't know who's it is There I'd be amazing. I'll fold it up and shit It would lay out like her grandfather was a murderer. Oh my god, that was awesome What if it's a fucking what if it's one of his patients? Yeah, you well, I guess you wouldn't have said you could have

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the Tom Steve Dave podcast. All right, all right. I follow you up and up back to back ad that's that you don't even know about or do you want to call your this is a rogue ad. Yeah. I don't think you're going to be upset though. No. It's an ad for a dear, dear friend of the podcast.

So we're not making any money. No, you're new guys are not making it gonna make a dime off this But you are going to have an unbelievable amount of karma because Jay Sarge has released an album on band camp whoa There's something I can get behind like he's dismissed as a listener rather than an integral part of the music I sing a week. Yeah, I said listen listen, oh no, yeah, I have me, listen, he's a guy who's provided so much to Tom Steve Vave podcast, including the theme song,

which I maintain is the greatest theme song in podcast history. I agree with you. I agree too. I remember early on somebody emailing and saying, like, hey man, that's a shit theme. Like, I'll write you a good one. And I wrote back, I was like, I love it.

And I can't imagine the podcast without it. Right. I can't imagine it opening up without that size. Tell me a better podcast theme. Let me hear one, because I don't think it exists. I haven't heard it. But J. Sarge emailed me and he didn't want an ad. He wasn't looking for an ad.

And I told them I was like, I am so moved. But what you wrote about this album, please let me spread the word. And he said, no, that's not why I sent you this email. I just want you to listen to it. And I was like, well, I want to spread the word. So he wrote to me, he's telling me that he put this album out because of COVID, kind of made him like, you know,

inspired him to make this album with no hopes or expectations of promotion or anything like that. He says it's kind of weird, electronic funk inspired, upbeat stuff with old moug and classic synth sounds and even a few eight-bit drum kits. Oh wow. The whole reason I put these tracks out was I sort of want to put some good vibes into the world. Isn't that what if everybody did that though? Right right now just put good vibes out there. Oh that's not what we're doing. Well sometimes we do. Sometimes we intentionally intentionally put bad. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time.

That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time.

That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time.

That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. That's my favorite time. He goes, mostly I did this for me to see if I could put something out there that wasn't drenched in the cynicism that usually chokes me out before lunch. Is he talking about us? I don't know, but like that was so like concerning to me. Yeah. Like that's, that's too strong of opinion. Yeah, I mean, too worked up.

Yeah, I like, I don't want to, I don't like to hear that, you know, a guy who like J. Sarge is like so choked with cynicism that it chokes him out before lunch. It's just sort of light hearted. All the tequila. Let's eat drinks. It's well-intentioned and even goofy. Too many caveats. I don't think he should, I think he should be like,

hey, I'm putting this out into the world. No, no. J Sarge. No, you need more than that to stay out in this world. Do you? You know how many motherfuckers are on band camp right now? Oh, yeah. It's so hard to make someone notice you

or even give you a shot. But his album is called Thoughts Ungun, EP. Hold on, I want to write this down because I'm going to get it tonight. I mean, we've already turned courage, my love, into an international super group. We should make it our mission to turn J Sarge into, oh, at least a national fucking super star. I got to reach out.

I got to reach out. That's right. I'll play this tomorrow. I got to record it tomorrow. Can you play it on a 24 hour loop just over? No, they give me two hours. I don't know if they're going to like that, but I could definitely do a very warm introduction for it.

Okay. It's cool. Just take a picture of your screen. That's what it's called. Thoughts. Ungun. How responsible are we if it turns out that after discovering some backward masking, there's a lot of racist rhetoric. Oh, my God, that would not be good to us. You know what I like to about what J. Sarge has done and J. Sarge, I want to give you props. I love that you didn't call it by J Sarge. His like his new, I guess, handle in the music industry is a remedial M theory.

That sounds badass. That sounds like somebody like J Sarge kind of sounds like a little elf. Right, but remedial sounds like your special needs. Remedial is. That's what people like nowadays. I am a Tarticus. Listen to my good vibes. People don't like Swardass as they like people of the street, you know? Really? Like people people like now. I am very tartequish. Listen to my good vibes. People don't like smart answers. They like people of the street, you know?

Really? Like people just like them. Joe average. Yeah. But remedial and theory. I love that. I thought that was like very hardcore. Could you hit play and play a sample?

Yeah, let's do it. But some of the track names, Q. Yeah. I love, I always look more into the track names more than probably I should have with artists, but back road to Selena or Selena. Okay. Nothing in the dark. Rise at dawn. All right. And of course the title track Thoughts Ungone. So let's hear what we got here. I Did it yeah, right? It's got a let it Nintendo vibe. Yeah, like Zelda There's gonna be a certain a

A certain age group that is gonna love this shit like anytime something comes on that sounds like that old Nintendo ship Yeah, it's all wet. It like, oh my god, what is that you're playing? I'm like, I don't know, it's on some video. What's that shit that people do at Raves? That's why I feel like doing right now. Excessing? Oh, like don't say. Doing some mullion. Drop a knee and shit.

I feel like doing right now, J. Sargey. It's like musical E. I should say. I'm like Walt Denson around with a pacifier in his mouth right now. I'm gonna get naked right now. Well, I know it. I am aardicist. Listen to my good vibes. People don't like smart answers they like people of the street you know. But go to band camp, pick up thoughts on gone by remedial M theory not by J Sarge. How much is it?

I don't know how much it is. He gave it to me for free. He gave me a free download. 99.99. I don't think you're gonna get everybody else out there. It's gonna get it for free. No, we're sure though. Just dropped though September 22nd, 2020. Just dropped. There's no price there. Yeah yeah, check it out, man. I mean, it's already got me feeling good. And I hope that you guys dig it and leave them some reviews too. Artist loves reviews. Do the...

Well, if they're f**king... Well, if they're f**king... Well, if they're f**king... Well, if they're f**king... I'm gonna read it. Well, I mean, a musician wants to hear, you know, I would if I was a musician, I'd want to hear what people think about it. I wouldn't want to just put out music and not hear the thoughts and what people think of it.

I think you did listen. I gotta, I've actually have to thank the ants. I think that he's going to see great success from you leading people there because we're selling those Cateauber Fest beer that we made with R&H, the glasses, fucking sold out in like a day. I thought it would take like months to do it, and you could put messages in the thing, and so many people are writing Talm Steve Dave. Oh, really, that's awesome. Yeah, so I wanted to, I mean, I was really actually,

it was happening so much that the people that worked for me over there were like, we just gotta let you know that we don't know what Tom Steve Days means. What does it mean? Oh, this is what it is. So a lot of the ants did it. So guys, thank you. Thank you so much. That's the border that support was really touching. And I respect, you know, J Sarge for like not wanting us to like Not stand on the you know, make it a Tom Steve Dave thing. Yeah. So, but if you're interested in, you know, some really good vibes.

Uplifting. Check out. What's it calling it? Thoughts on gone. Thoughts on gone, man. I love the cover art too. You know, it's, it's very edgy. It's very.

Hey, you stole that from Scorpion's Virgin Killer. You know, it's it's very edgy. It's very stolen from scorpions virgin killer. It's very um, hipster. I don't want to say hipster. He's not a hipster. I don't know what I, but it's I don't know what to say. I'm not a fan. Sorry. But I like it's kind of cosmic though. It's got a spaceship. It's got a black and white cookie. It's uh, you know, that's a planet. Oh, you don't know. It looks like a black and white cookie. It's a, you know, that's a planet. Oh, you don't, no, it looks like a black and white cookie. Have you ever seen a black and white cookie? Oh, I thought it was like the spaceship flying past the celestial body.

You know what, you're probably right. That's probably not a cookie. Yeah, I saw some carbale there too. You're right. I don't know why I thought of it. With a spaceship there, I probably should have realized I was not a cookie, but I've planned it. Maybe it was a spaceship shaped cookie. There we go. All right so we got a

guest coming in on now. Look it's going Steve. Hey Brian how you doing buddy. Hey bud it's you what's going on handsome. What's up guys? I it was so refreshing to see my caller ID say New Jersey, which never happens. So I was really excited to see New Jersey on my phone. You still in Florida? Did you come up to New? I heard a rumor you were going to be in New York. I was I was supposed to be and then I was told to wait because I may be doing press there and now I don't think I'm doing So I'm gonna wait a little bit to To get out there, but I definitely want to get out there to just kind of you know with all this time down It's like I might as well just get on a plane and go see some friends

Hell yeah As long as you got We're actually got a message right yeah Walt's here wall flying. I don't think you know him But we're gonna you know wall. I've never I've never gotten a good vibe from wall So I put on that to be there, but it's fine if he's there Well, there's the attitude that's why no, they're not exactly why wall comes in aggressive Well lose the fucking attitude man. I'm a guest shit Did you hear what I haven't heard him speak yet?

I hear my here. Okay, got a high wall. Hello Steve. Let me say this. How are you? I enjoyed that Walt a Walt actually is a problem with you too, because we noticed that you were born in freehold, yet you support the Pittsburgh penguins. How are you not a devil's guy? Walt wants to know. I was a devil's fan. I was Kirk Muller, circa Kirk Muller,

John McClain, Glenn Chico- Ress, John Serella on D. Yeah, I did, I did really enjoy the Devils when I was a younger kid, but I moved to Pittsburgh, I believe in 84 or, yeah, 84. And look, how can you not instantly ditch the old girlfriend and go, oh, Mario Lemieux? Yeah, I'm interested. How old are you when you moved up grade with? I think it was nine or 10 somewhere there. That's what I told Raya's like, how can I get on a guy when he moved as a child? You know, yeah, this was not like I just, you know, in my 20s, I think the devil's,

the devil's were only were 82 anyway, right? They started in 82. Yeah, they moved from Colorado to this. So that's it. So he would have only been with them two years. Yeah. But you're a diet in the Wal-Pingewins fan right? Oh God yeah yeah. I mean the first the first sweater I ever got was the Christmas sweater at the Devil's one and I still think to this day I just have a deep affection for that jersey but but I absolutely love the penguins. I mean, you look at what they've done in terms of the draft with Lemue, then you get Yager, and then you get Crosby and Malcolm and Flurry. It's just like the hits just keep coming.

I mean, there would certainly be the dark days, but to have like two like iconic hall of famers within 10 years of each other and knowing that Lemieux and Crosby played the same line as Rocky Ear, it's still like people forget that. It's weird to see Lemieux pass the torch to him that way. We had a conversation a little earlier before we jumped on with you about Brian Quinn. a little earlier before we jumped on with you about Brian Quinn. He bright, yeah, it's, he's, he's this guy's on this show. Anyway, he, he interviewed Scott Gomez and Walt feels that it was an honor that should not have been bestowed on cue because cue doesn't know that much about hockey. But I mean, I watch hockey. I enjoy hockey, but not enough. Not enough for Walt. I look, it's definitely the best sport to see live.

That's what everybody says, right? And once you played it, even I think just once, you have a deep respect for it with all the padding, how fast it is, and knowing that the fourth line guide, usually, the traditionally the stereotype was that they're the bruises, but they actually are still better than anybody that's the best in their beer league. Just a talent in the NHL. And plus, I think hockey players by nature are the most laid back and kind of cool to hang with.

Have you ever hung with any hockey players? Well, I don't like the way you said that, but I'll answer the question. Well, you said they're the best to hang out with, though. If you could only make that statement if you have hung with somebody, right? Well, that was in Chicago. I lived in Chicago for a little bit, a blip on the radar, became a black ox fan, apparently, right? When you lived there one the cop and Dave Bolin is a great friend of mine and we went out quite a few nights are one

of my favorite day bonus stories is I think it's such a great tradition in hockey that each player gets the Stanley Cup for a day and all the other trophies I think look like sales trophies the Stanley Cup looks like an actual trophy you would win in a sport. Like the football one, it looks like somebody would get that at Merrill Lynch for selling the most homes in January. Like the cup looks glorious. And the fact that you get to take this around your hometown or wherever you live. And Dave took it out in Chicago.

And the president of the Rocky Works of the Black Hawks called the person said, look, you're the only black hawk that still lives here this summer, whatever you do, whatever you do, Dave, do not take that cup to Riggly Field. Flash forward. You know, it's like Ferris Bühler's day off. Rocky's watching the Cubs game and Dave technically didn't take it to Riggly. He was on one of the rooftop bars across the street and he was holding up the cup and all of Riggly stopped and watched Dave and then people left the stadium, Riggly, Riggly

field and went over to this thing and Dave had to call for police escort out of Riggly ville because he caused such chaos and smay him. And he actually, he actually almost he actually almost lost the cup because he lives in a brownstone Chicago next to another brownstone. And him and I believe Ben Eber were on the roof holding the cup, just chugging beer whatever and Dave did a primal scream and dropped it and the cup got wedged between his brownstone and the other brownstone. So they had to like wedge it out and get the scuffs off and everything. But I've always thought there's such a great movie to be made about that.

And I heard Melissa McCarthy was thinking of doing a film. And I was so excited to see it, but I don't think it ever made its way to getting made. But you guys devils fans that hardcore? I want to say Walters. I got it. I got it. How was that for you to have like literally one of the greatest goal tenders in the sport eight miles away from the New York border and never get the accolades that King Henry does, but Brodoar celebrates in a parking lot and had the Rangers won with King Henry.

Chikertate parade, he did. That's the fucking keyword there, Bob. What's the name? Steve. Steve. If that's really, really, if you have this argument. When Brodoar goes to bed at night, he's the fucking, the, well, so does King Henrick. He has a fucking gold medal, but he doesn't have three fucking Stanley Cup rings though.

So all those accolades are worthless. The devils did it. The devils had an amazing run, and I always thought it was just so pathetic that there's no, you couldn't take it to AC. You couldn't take it to like, Trenton take it to like Trenton like they didn't care man bring it to the people right there who fucking were there in the arena homey parking lot celebration is homey okay okay you know I don't want to I don't want to go out on the fucking dangerous streets of fucking some inner city keep in the safety of a parking lot, bitch.

It's all gonna wipe bread. It's gonna be fun to get. The devil's like catch Martin Brodor and the devil's. So off this family cup in part Symphony this weekend. Yeah, I love the parking lot celebrations. I went to, I went to two of them. Yeah. And I went with Brian. Brian came up with me and

One of the greatest nights of my life was at the parking lot celebration We didn't need to be at the in heroes Canyon. What's it called? Is that what it's called? Yeah, you know fuck that We got we kept the fuck in nice and quiet and just intimate Yeah, exactly. I mean who wants to be anointed with astronauts and the Yankees and like veterans after D-Day? It's like, let's go and Ricky got a hand job, and he's like, oh, that's so awesome. You guys want to have action, Park Doc?

I did. I watched it. What did you think of doc? I did. I watched. What did you think of that? I thought it got a her repetitive after a little while, but it was accurate as hell from what I remember going up there. It's funny because I grow up, I remember asking because you see all those commercials all the time, like it was Carvelle or action park. And I remember asking my dad, can I go to action park?

And I remember, it was one of the few times he was just adamant, like hell no, hell no. We'll go to great adventure, but we ain't going to action park. And I never realized until I got old and then I saw the thing, and I set the trailer, my dad, he's like, that's why, yeah, that's why we didn't go.

Yeah, I don't think my parents knew the reputation that it had. And it was correct. I got hurt on two separate things while I was there. The alpine slide, I flew off and burned up my leg and they had this ATV thing where you could just take a four wheeler. And I was like 14 at the time. And they're like, what's your license number? And I just wrote down a random number. They're like, all right, here you go. Immediately fresh to these reads. That was the tough thing about that doc, right?

If you see it, that, that it's hilarious to think that there's no engineers designing anything, they're just throwing kids out there. There's beer parties going on. The kids that work there and drunk are high. And it's all fucking hilarious until like they get to the deaths, right? And that one family, you're just like, all right, now I feel bad watching this. And you know, it was just kind of like, it was a little bittersweet, I guess, right? It was because you think back to the, to the 80s as sort of a more of a wild West atmosphere.

Like, I mean, it couldn't be more different from today. But that's not true. There was, there not true. There was a child that got beheaded on the world's biggest fucking water slide, member. Yeah, I think that was an isolated incident that was like, it doesn't matter. They had their own EMS squad. Yeah, but nobody was beheaded in action park, weren't they? No, I don't think so, but a lot of people got hurt

and several people died mostly drowning, right? If I remember correctly. Well, there's Walter. There's no difference between being beheaded or dead. Like they're both dead. Yeah, but there's something more grizzly and there's something more like in terms of urban legends. Like, you know, do you have a dry drowning? I've never heard of that.

It sounds like something you get bankrupt. But what is that? Now it's like when you drink too much pool water or water, like you're not swimming and too much gets in your lungs and you don't realize it and you go to sleep and you drown in your sleep. It's the most boring kind of drowning ever. There's no flailing. But that excitement.

But the nearest water park to my house is just like five minutes away in Kingsburg. A kid from the York was on a school trip, went to the water park that night had a dry drowning. So you said just action parks fault that happens all over the place? So I mean, it still happens to this day, they're dangerous places. Yeah.

No one should be going there. Let's close that shit down too. I'm telling you, everybody, let's just fucking hang in the parking lot. You know the amusement park rides know that bullshit? Let's get some forties. So, I'm a, we met in Vegas, right? I believe you and I. We were at a...

I believe we met in Vegas. Yeah, we were at a joint event and it was... Steve is instantly like a boy, right? He is one of the most charismatic people you can meet in person. He's just, you like him immediately. Right, immediately. Now, that,

on TV, not so much, but in person, that's where I shine. Yeah. Yeah. It makes the question, do you have any haters? Because we have haters. Oh, I don't know why, but you're I don't. The Because we have haters. Oh, I don't know why but you don't

Intelli-Met Steve I Don't know I mean obviously YouTube's a vicious place right you post anything on YouTube You'll see some bios bio things. I think if I get anything It's the fact that I'm very comfortable talking about race and And I've always had the creative Sammy Davis Jr. The minute they stop making fun of you, the minute they stop caring about you. And I, I think growing up on East Coast, Blue Colle City like Pittsburgh and started to stand up in New York City,

I've always felt comfortable talking about race. And these days, it's not something that's, I guess, socially acceptable, but I feel very comfortable doing it. And I like kind of pushing the envelope. And I do get some blowback from that for sure. But I think that if people understood, you know, my general theme of just making fun of

everybody under the banner of a flag, I would hope that they could understand it. But when you see isolated jokes, they just take it one way and go, oh, well, fuck it. He's misogynist or he hates black people. He hates Asians. And I'm like, okay, sure, whatever. But I think that's probably the only flag I get is kind of online, maybe. As it started making you nervous for the state of comedy or do you think that like you'll always be able to prosper and flourish and regardless of the climate because a lot of people, man, I mean, there's some comics who just cannot say shit anymore. Their whole act was politically incorrect. Yeah, I think that's, you know, when you see that 70% of the country

disagrees with cancel culture. I think that the coastal elites will deem certain things to be you know, acceptable or non-acceptable, but I think the minute you go outside of New York, LA, and San Fran and crunch in the middle of the country, I think most people just don't give a fuck. They just wanna pay their bills and take their kids and wife out on the weekend or vice versa, and they just wanna relax and be able to pay the bills and keep the lights on. I think all the identity politics

is something you'll see on the coasts that I just don't think most people give a fuck about. That's just my own two cents, given what I've seen out on the road and my own personal opinions. What do you guys think? I mean, from the the shit that I've seen, like it almost appears as if certain people go to a comedy club to be offended so that they can then turn around and yell at whoever is on stage for like you said, being misogynistic or racist or homophobic or a number of things.

I don't know. Well, you're more of a, I would say you're more on the conservative edge as far as like do you think it'll bounce back comedy in its form? Like I listen to Jimmy Norton all the time and he has such a great point where he's like, okay, I tell a joke that is offensive. How is that different than a movie, where somebody's like, you know, Mississippi burning, you know, and somebody's playing this hardcore racist.

He's like, what was that movie made though? What does it matter though? I mean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a specific. Mississippi burning is an example, but I mean, it could be something, you know, very recently. You know, where somebody's gonna play a Dotsie soldier. I it could be something, you know, very recently, you know, where somebody is going to play. I think it does. I think it does factor, you know, like I think there's some comedy movies that were made

in the past that just would not be made today because of the climate. Yeah, I mean, you know, you're, you're blazing shadows, you're bed news, bears, all that shit. But that's the kind of thing where it's like, no, I don't see that ever coming back, but pre like, you know, a couple of years ago, pre-harvey, it seems like it would like you could tell jokes and you could be Legion of Skank type humor. You could be... Well, here's a, maybe, you know, just a different opinion here, but I think the fact that you

don't have mainstream comedies being made anymore, right? So I think we're all probably of the same generation where we we grew up watching stripes and ghost busters and all those fun movies and I've been right men and all those SNL characters branching off. And then you get into like the Brad Pack years of Vince Vaughan and Will Ferrell and Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson. And then then you had the hangover right? And the hangover was like the last iconic communal comedy I remember seeing. And after

that, I think the PC police just came down on things and mainstream comedies are fucking gone. They do not exist. And so what I think is replacing those is Bill Burr and Tom Suggor and Burr Christcher and all these comedians that are saying, whatever the fuck they want. And I think that's the transference of power in terms of the outlet of hearing those things or seeing those things that used to visually in film. Now you're hearing about them through the conduit of one individual, a stand-up comedian as opposed to the wild days of just putting everything you want up on celluloid, and it just doesn't exist anymore. I think that's where people get their fix now is in the comedy clubs. So I think stand-up potentially may have been bigger than at any point in our lives

in the history of stand-up comedy because the clubs were packed, people were torn, theaters, buses. I've never seen so many comedians perform and have their own tour bus prior to COVID. I'd never seen anything like that before. So I think that's for me my perspective. I'd love to hear what you guys have to say on that. I like the idea of a bunch of like-minded comedians being like, fuck it.

Like, just fuck it. Like you said, we're gonna say what we wanna say. Because the comedians that I like, like it. Like, just fuck it. We're gonna, like you said, we're gonna say what we want to say. Because the comedians that I like, like before COVID, I used to go to the seller a lot, and you know, see Bob, Kelly, and Jimmy, and all these guys. And the stuff they say is funny, but it's not overly offensive. They're not, you know, it's, it's depending on who you are, you know, somebody needs to joke about an abortion. It's like, oh my god, I had an abortion once. So therefore, you should not be able to joke about this. Yeah, you look at somebody like Norton. I mean, Norton is the most honest human being I've ever seen in comedy. He takes deep-seated things that anybody else would be a secret to them.

And he exhibits them publicly, nightly, on the stage. and the hardest thing to do is take the fact that you get blown by a trainee and read the needle and make it fucking hilarious. And he does such a great job at that with the honesty and the humor and threats it and somebody like Norton who works there nightly Keith Robinson, Bobby Kelly, et cetera. So you go down the line, a lot of the boss, foreign team. Some of these guys, you could say, you could find a house way from Ohio that would come to the comedy seller, dragged her by their husband, because they got to go to the seller,

because Lily was there all the time on the show and they go, and the seller's been sold out every night for the last seven to 10 years. And it is a beacon of insults. It's an a beacon of fence. But nobody's offended. And there's a reason people are going there because it's like, this is the last vessel of free speech that exists in this world in this country. It is called a comedy club. And the majority of America still appreciates and respects that. Again, I think you just have these

coastal elites that are jamming down our throats this new acceptable way that we should be addressing each other. And I just don't think it really exists. I just don't think it's real. Then pushed by the media. Were you going to say something? Well, yeah. Okay. But I was going to say like comedians, there's no lack of people in the club saying whatever they wanna say, right? It's not like, they might not be getting, I mean, because to me, it's like certain comedians, like, then I'm gonna take Chipel down, right? Like, they're saying they tried,

they're not gonna take Bill Burr down. So it does seem like comedians have this bulletproof, some of them, but then other, like, that kid that got hired to be on Senate live and then just got fired like the next day. I guess you're just not big enough at that level to sort of be like, hey man, I'm a comedian, these are jokes. Yeah, well, yeah, I agree with that. I think SNL traditionally has been a launching pad right, for so many careers. Nobody knew who will was beforehand and nobody knew who for

K or Tina Fey were before the not ready for primetime players, right? That's the adage with them and they kept that mantra the whole run. So I agree with that. I think that Shane Gillis got the short and the stick on that. And I am Asian American. I'm somebody that should be offended by that, but I'm not because I understand when you're on a podcast that you're saying things

that traditionally you would not say in a real conversation. I think he's a comedian, he's under the prism of attempting humor, and I appreciate and respect that as a comedian, whereas I think that there's a lot of people that don't have that professional perspective, and they just hear chink, chink, chink, and they go, this is offensive, this guy really means it. I don't think anything Shane said that they was out of hate or the feeling that his race is superior to anybody else is I think he was attempting to be funny.

That was my take on it. And I really don't, anytime somebody gets cast on SNL, there is people at these websites that will go through their Twitter feed and not find the 15 or 30 jokes that have thousands of likes, they'll find the one thing that could be deemed offensive. China spotlight on that. And I think it's it says so much about the nature of where we are these days that they're going to focus on the negativity as opposed to all the wonderful jokes that those young comedians possibly written.

Yeah, so much so that people want to, I mean, until CK shut it down, they want to go into a comedy club, record shit that people are working on, put it out there, and then out of context, just slam and try to end careers. People really want to see other people not work. Is if not enough, people are working already? That's my biggest problem with it. And I think you said it correctly. They're trying to cancel everything.

And I think cancel culture on itself tells you everything in how they call themselves. Identify them as cancel culture. They're there to destroy. They're there to ruin and destroy and eradicate and they're not doing anything to replicate it or replace it or substitute it. That's my big issue with cancel culture. It's like, if you're going to say, well, there's no room for that. Okay, well, what's the fix? What's the solution? But to me, there's never been a solution. So until there is fuck off. Like we're able to grab the mic and say whatever the fuck we want from eight o'clock till two in the morning in the village at the seller.

And there's a reason it's sold out every night. So I just, I don't agree with it. I'm completely against it. And it makes me sick to my stomach. And I thought that I'm very apolitical. OK. There are things on both sides I like. I don't think Obama's the

wonderful beacon of hope that everybody makes them out to be, and I don't think Trump is as evil as they make them out to be, right? I think that they're, they're fallible both in their own right, and everybody has Michele's heel, and sometimes, you know, the press digs them, and massacres use people. But I think in terms of politics, I, I think that the, the right has been, has been deemed racist, right? If you're conservative or whatever you vote for, you're, you're racist. And I, I saw Trump do something in his RNC speech, which, which I thought, given the optics of everything, I was like, that's a pretty smart strategy.

And what he did was he tethered the left with cancel culture and socialism, which I had not seen anybody really do in a mainstream kind of way. And so now I think you're seeing the left really, really being associated with that cancel culture movement. And I think you're seeing the left really, really being associated with that, that cancel culture movement. And I think that people in the Midwest and the Bible belt and everything else will associate coastal elites with that, especially in the Democrats, which I thought was a pretty fascinating thing from somebody who's, I would consider myself a moderate. Do you, all this stuff, because the movie that you made

is about stand-up comedy, right? Like, do you address all this in the movie? No, I'll tell you something that's scary about the film, OK? Is that, OK, so to back up, I did write a film that is my love letter to stand-up comedy. It compresses all the experiences a person could have the very first time on the road in four days in the film. And you're exposed to the three echelons of a stand-up comedian. You're either an MC, a feature, or a headliner. And I thought, well, I want, I want be a fish out of water and see it through the

the eyes of the MC and that's what I set out to do. So when we were casting this, I was thinking about the politics of it all. I was thinking about Huffington Post and them slamming me for something and deriding the film before they even saw it because when we were casting this Traditionally speaking the MC's the new kid on the block, they're fresh to the party, they have no idea what's going on. The feature act is like the guy you meet your first day in prison that's showing you the ropes, right? And then the headliner is kind of like the warden. So he's got it all wired for sound. And so when you're casting the feature act, he wants to go out, he wants the party afterwards. And there was a moment in time when we were talking about different casting options

i said i'm telling you right now you cannot cast a white kid is the mc and a white established comic is the feature and cast a black guy quote unquote for diversity is the feature act because people are going to see this and they're going to say all see you make the black guy the one that wants to party doesn doesn't take his job seriously.

And I was like, it's gonna happen. Somebody's gonna say it and I wanna avoid it. And like, it's so fucking sad that I could have had a really talented black actor portrayed that character, but given the state of everything with political correctness, I couldn't go that way because I knew that the headwinds were going to come for me with all those people that are extremely progressive. So that's where I was a little more nervous about the politics of the film and more so in the cast. So a black eye lost a job because of it. Well, fortunately for us,

we had said to be entertainer, play the headliner. So that just kind of like, hey, things a lot easier, not only in terms of, of the fact that you have to hide our diverse cast these days, but we did kind of cast it via our friends. So I never felt like we were jamming somebody in there, just to jam it in there. It was through us Moses. It was a natural process. And I think that the film when you see the poster, this other poster, we're doing, it will be more reflective of the nature of Stanham comedy, which is, you know, you have people from all different walks of life being the conduit of humor. You have some big names in here. Like you said, you have Cedric, Whitney Cummings, Ken Jeong, Neil Brennan, Bill Burr, Tom

Sigura, Roy Wood Jr. I mean, this is some cast, aren't you? Who's who? Who's who? Who's who? It was a lot of fun to... I think the cast director, I don't even know why they got a fucking check. I should have gotten paid for this time of the day.

Did you not include a stand up like Salvo cano? Is that a, is that a statement on what you think of his stand up skills? I've seen Sal and the fact that he's not in the poster speaks for itself. No, I'll tell you, Sal is somebody when I, I heard he was doing it, right? I was like, well, good for him. I think anybody that's that's got that, you know, I had some conversations with him prior to about encouraging the go to the store. You know, I think there were a lot of people that

want to do it. And then Sal was one of those that actually took the initiative, did it, and not only did it, never took his status for granted. Like he was going to the open mics. He was, he was, he was, he's dirt underneath his fingernails is what is, is the way I'll say it. And I really respect the fact that Sal never, never, never thought I should just go to the cell and because I'm unpractical jokers. He really waited this time out. Yeah, he got invited and he said I don't think I'm ready yet. He actually put it off Because then then I'd see him and I was like, dude, you're totally fucking ready. He's got that he's just got a natural He's got that natural stage presence where yeah, it's important comedy where you see somebody within two minutes, you know, I'd spend a 45 minutes with this guy.

I get two or three beers and listen to him for 45 minutes for sure. Yeah, he's really good. He's a natural, but he did, he did mention you as an inspiration early on because when he was going every night and like we would be shooting all day and he'd be like, all right, I got to go do three spots and he did it four or five times a week. I was like, dude, are you fucking crazy? And he would tell me the story about when you were getting started and how like you had like the longest streak

of going up every night. And he was like, that's what I got to do. He goes, I got to do that if I want to do this. If I want to take it for real. So, you know, well, you did, I will say this that as much as I appreciate hearing that, there are a few things I've taken along the way in my life where I heard things along the way that get burned in the hard drive and stay with me and

When I was trying to write this film There were things that I was writing and I remember watching the Star Wars doc and George Lucas would disseminate to his ILM crew like this is what I want they go yeah yeah of course George we'll do that and he leave the room they go we have no idea how we're gonna do it right but that's like everything you want to hear with a team you're working with you want to hear yeah we'll figure it out because the mincema goes I don't know it's like what you're never gonna do it but if somebody says yeah I'm gonna fucking figure that out Then all the sudden magic's made, right? So I always thought don't ever prevent yourself from thinking why not? And then another thing when I toured with the impractical Joker is and

seeing the non-stop access that you would you guys would individually give or the graciousness. It's like that's why the show is popular, but I remember I was talking to Joe, we were like it going to Scotland or something. I was on top of the bus and he was talking to me about the lack of like, I guess, an ointment from the industry to say welcome to the club, you know, it's always been like I remember talking, you guys should be on the cover Rolling Stone. Oh, yeah, we, we, we, we, we never get, we never get any, we, we, we never get any

notice like that, which is just, it's just, to me, it seems natural that we don't though. I, like, it's, I, I think I'm more insulted by it than you guys are. And I was, I was just fucking furious about it because I'm like insulted by it than you guys are. And I was just fucking furious about it, because I'm like, look at what you guys are doing. Look what you're accomplishing. Like, you know, there's so few people that can fill a fucking arena. And then when your movie came out,

you're not getting invited, again, to the talk shows. I think you guys got to do Kimmel, right? Yeah, we got to do Kimmel. And it's like, what the fuck, what more do you need to do? And then you guys got to do Kimmel right yeah we got to and and it's like what the fuck what more do you need to do and then you guys are branching on it gets got to go mess got to go mess you're you're all dividing into four different time time zones across the country going to these screenings like doing everything you can to make sure that the film, the brand, spreading spreading Corona all over the country, no doubt.

You guys are doing it all on your own. And just like, if you cannot be inspired by that, I don't know what you can be inspired by. That to me was like, I don't know, just seeing that like, I really, I don't know, to be honest with you, I went, I was going on box office module, looking up the screen per average that weekend and seeing you guys made the top 10, but then your per average, I think, was the best of anybody that weekend that it came out. I was like, how the fuck, they should all be partitioning off doing their own deals and

like, what more do you want? Like it makes me fucking angry. Yeah, it's alright. I like where we're at. I do. I enjoy the slow climb to nothing. It's great. No, but you know what I like, you've had success people dream of.

Like everybody that is anointed that dreams of doing what you're doing. And I think that's the catch 22 on their end, but that's the catch 22 on your end, is that you have everything everybody ever dreamed of, but it's just maybe not getting that fucking award. But at the end of the day, nobody fucking remembers who won that award. Oh, I would agree with you. That would, right? And that's not even a consideration.

It's so more important to me that we get to do what we want and we largely just get to do whatever we want. And I don't think, and I think that's because of our undercover fucking status. So I'm grateful for it. I'd be hesitant to give it up. You know, I just wanted to put that out there, how inspired I was by that and how,

you know, in terms of even promoting this film coming up that I have I'm just like I was telling my life like look what they did you know I was in I think Texas or something and I announced I was going on the screening and Joe texted me back he's like by by by snacks for everybody I was like, okay. And then I bought Snacks for Everybody. We made some videos and it made me viewing even that world communal. And I just thought the whole, I don't know, the vibe you guys always give off is positive, the show and the film are positive.

My eight year old and my five year old have watched the film, you know, minus the Murray Go on the strip club part, which my wife always makes me a fast forward. And it's just like that's, that's what it's about. Like these kids get it, I get it. Like any age can get it. I don't know. I just do a lot of inspiration from it, not to just anybody to ask whatever, but I really, I don't know. I'm just fucking pissed that you guys are not as, I'm not trying to say, diminish your success. No, no, no, I hope you know what I'm saying. I don't, I think that a lot of people think that,

but I think that's, I see this a positive, but that's. I was talking to Camel from Canal Nyer, from Big Bang Theory. And he was telling me, like, they were never even considered for an Emmy until, like, they're 50 or six years. I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, I'm out of town, But then when you become undeniable, it's like, how can you not acknowledge these guys when I saw Variety do that big hitters of comedy this past week and you guys were in the variety piece I was so fucking happy for you because I was like that to me was like alright now they're undeniable Now they got to the point where they have to fucking acknowledge them. Oh, I mean I didn't even read that. That's nice

That's why I was driving towards them in and they were showing off, showcasing off, you know, Sebastian, and a scalpel and Bill Burr and the approximate Joker. He's like, yeah, it's about fucking times. Oh, nice, Boone. You, uh, you toured with these guys. Do you have any dirt on the IJ? Yeah. Like, only dirt I have is, um, no, there's no dirt.

It's like, no dirt. There's just no dirt. I was actually curious to see what you came up with, even as a joke. And it's just, we do things like we go to like the Titanic Museum. And shit like that, like, be it Steve just wand around, like, talk about how sad it was. People died 100 years ago. Like this very this certain certain nights that that get but that's just us being dickheads drinking alcohol and we don't even talk to anybody

but ourselves. It's fun. I don't have anything bad to say. I think like when you tore you expect a fight a dust up due to the fact that everybody's together on a bus, whatever? There was just no friction, then to be honest with you, it was a fucking joy. Like I had nothing but a great, it was almost like, it was a vacation. I didn't feel like I was ever working at all. Because on any given day, like you said, we could go see the Titanic's museum or Sal wants to go shopping or Joe wants to get a nice meal.

It's like there's always something to do with somebody. I had a fucking blast. Those are some of the best times I ever had professionally touring. That in USO tours. I never had a better time. That's cool, man. I feel the same way. It's fun touring with you. How did you like that? You guys like Jameson? It was like How were the USO things I was reading about that and I mean that's a that's a trip and that's on to me It's I would just like it seems dangerous going tough kind of stand The first one I did was this most scared of every better was oh four High to buy rack war my brother was stationed at Camp Victory North and Colin Clinton knew that and high to buy rack war my brother was stationed at camp victory nor if in colon clenu that and ask me if I'd I'd go on it was beyond honor not only to work with

Colin because I respect him so much Bobby Kelly not as much but we all went over and there were two incidents that looking back now it's like wow my god we're going to see one thirty one of those big cargo planes, you see like a con air, and do the fact that we were a USO and there were so few things going on, we would, we would, we were the cargo, that was it. So I don't know how much it costs to take a C 130 from point A to point B, but it can't be cheap, right? So we're going to, from one base to the other, liaison, Colin Quinn, Bobby Kelly, myself from the back of the C130. It's basically like sitting in a fucking warehouse empty,

strapped in, and it's cavernous, and it's wild, and you're flying up. And so the pilots come back and say, Hey, we got room for two of you. You want to sit in the cockpit. Yeah, of course. So Colin points to me goes, burn, let's go. So we sit in the back of the cockpit and we don't have headsets on. And we're just taking off and this is big bay window like the Millennium Falcon. It was really cool. And you're taking off on a sentient and I see fireworks going off. I go, it's fucking cool, man. And in my fucking like, you know, ego-tistical mind, I'm going, oh, there shoes off fireworks as like a good buy. Like, they're celebrating us.

That's what I thought. And finally, as we get to our flight, like our flying, you know, altitude, we get a headset. And so Colin Quinn gets on, he goes, hey, what were the fireworks about? like our flying altitude, we get a headset. And so Colin Quinn gets on and he goes, hey, what were the fireworks about? And I go, those were RPG flares.

Oh, God. Because an RPG was shot at a rocket was being shot at our plane. Oh, right. We don't have to worry. Because they have such bad aim. And these flares will take the rocket away from us. And I was fucking white as a ghost, my jaw dropped, Colin looked at me and he goes,

how great would it have been to know that we knew why we were gonna die. We would be together, but Bobby Kelly's in the fucking back time. He was like, why am I dying? And the other time I was really scared was we went to this, just kind of like this bombed out area of the city in Baghdad. And it was like this little square. And there's these four buildings. I was fucking bombed out.

And there are snipers up on the roof and Below it is a tractor trailer with a flat bed and speakers on it that's our stage and there was a bunch of folding chairs and I I go to the liaison I go a one of those snipers up there for he goes Those snipers are there looking at those snipers on the other side. I go you mean like our snipers are there looking at those snipers on the other side. I go, you mean like our snipers, you say, no, like the insurgents snipers. I'm like, why, like should we be inside? Like, why are we doing that? And I was the first one off that day. And I thought, well, if I fucking die, it's probably right, because

these jokes are shit, the stages shit. And this is the worst experience I've ever had doing stand up. So I might as well fucking just get one in stages shit. And this is the worst experience I've ever had doing stand-ups. So I might as well fucking just get one in the head. And that was the most scary I've ever been doing stand-up. But those are great experiences because those men and women, they're fucking bored of playing ping pong. They're bored of playing PlayStation. They've seen every movie known to man.

And they miss home. And so you're providing just a brief semblance just a little microcosm of back home and we can address all the things that they can't really talk about maybe publicly in terms of like you know military time and all that other stuff so it's really some of the most rewarding shows I've ever done and even even in touring to this day, at least once every two or three weeks, you'll meet somebody who's like, oh, I came here to show on Candahar and you go through that man. And there are times where I could get emotional thinking

about that. I remember I was with Drew Carey one time. And this kid came up to me after the show. He goes, man, thank you. And he looked just, he fucking looked out of it, but he was thanking me. I go, you're okay. He goes, yeah, just a crazy day. I go, what happened? He goes, he was, I was in a firefight. We were pinned down.

Oh, God. We were waiting for the next convoy to come to bail us out. And when the next convoy came, they bailed us out. We took one of our friends that got shot. He's going to be okay. We threw him in the back of the home bee. We just came back to base. And as soon as I pull in, we hear laughter and I come over and for 40 minutes, I forgot

about what just happened. And now I'm remembering what just happened. I'm like, that's crazy that we were able to like take them out of that situation for a moment before we could process it and maybe help subside the craziness he just saw. And that's the fucking US social. You never know, right? It's fucking nuts.

It's an honorable thing to do too. I mean, you follow in the footsteps of like Bob Hope, all the Fulana, Martha Ray, Martha Ray. Kid Rock, Toby Keith. I just heard on Stertial that Mark Harris died. Did he really? Yeah, two years ago, nobody knew he died in like total obscurity. Oh poor Mark Harris. Yeah, but a bummer. He was always fucking hysterical on that show. So I don't even think we saw the name of the movie. It's the opening act. And if I'm not mistaken, it comes out on the 16th, right? Comes out in the 16th and theaters and VOD. You know, one tagline I pitched to the

production or the distribution company is you've been to a comedy club that you never been on the road. And that's really what the film's like. It's a fish out of water. It's a kids' very first time ever on the road. And it's the pursuit of a dream and it happens to be stand-up comedy. So you're gonna get all the inside baseball of it all

and there are a few incidents that have occurred in the film where people are gonna watch and go, there's no way that fucking happened. It's like, oh, it happened. It happened to me. And I was scared at my fucking mind. Oh, wow. It happened too. I actually, everything from his first night out, going out after the show to the radio station to his next night out, like those are all things that happen.

And we didn't put those in the trailer on purpose because we thought, hopefully enough people want to want to film that stand up and then they'll be exposed to like the role of the coaster ride that comes with being on the road. Yeah I think that's pretty interesting. I really like Jimio Yang too. I mean I've only seen him in Silicon Valley but that alone that was enough for me to really dig. He's great and I think one of the best compliments I got was, slowly, the comedians have gotten to see the film. Everybody from Tom Score, Neil Brennan,

Bill Burr, Sectorick Jimmy, we had one private screening just with Sectorick and Jimmy at Debbie Ryan. And then we had a, the other guy's been working or didn't feel comfortable or whatever. So we let them watch it. And I keep getting the same text messages back from everybody from Sigour to Bird, Angela Johnson, it's always the same two things. I loved it. And it's very authentic. You brought up so many horrible memories that I may have to revisit my therapist. And it

was great to be a part of something fun and special. So, you know, I hope that that does resonate with people, but Bill Burr paid Jimmy the best compliment. He just said, he said, I was familiar with him, but he's so rootable and so likable. And I was so happy for him at the end of the film. So that was nice to hear from somebody who's notoriously very honest. So that was nice to hear from somebody who is notoriously very honest. But, Q, if I were to ask a question like, how did you feel in the anticipation of like a feature film coming out? I mean, to go from the small screen to knowing you're, you're doing something that I think just, it's something you all dream about, right? You pack your bags, you go to the city. I mean, granted you guys y'all dream about right you you pack your bags You go to the city. I mean granted you guys didn't have to go to you take a train, but

To know that you had that that moment in time. I don't know I it was for me was It's like everything else that I do man. I just kind of on the well-mit for myself Yeah, you know, it was like I go into it I force myself into a place where I'm like, if it does well, great, if it doesn't do well, what am I going to do? But to get into that place, I kind of got to sand off the edges a little bit if that makes sense. Were you, you had to have been surprised with the results because those were, I think, exceeding anybody's expectations. Yeah, that was pretty insane, like, like getting that in. But that, what that made,

which I didn't anticipate that this at all, considering the movie had no marketing campaign, that they didn't fucking push it at all, you know, all these things, like I felt real gratitude towards fans of the show. That was the overwhelming thing. I was like, I was literally like, I cannot believe they came out for us like that.

But this is like a testament to what I was talking about. Those numbers, I think they still would have been great. I think they would have been great. I think your audience would have shown up for you without a doubt. I don't think they would have been as excessive had you guys not taking a put up a gas pedal. And if you guys chose to stay home and just take a victory lap, which you probably deserved, but you still fucking packed your bags, got on planes, did all that. And I think that's why variety has to fucking acknowledge you

this last week. It's like, it's gotten to where it is undeniable. Great. Yeah. I'm not tonight. It's nice. I mean, it's nice to hear you say that. But you know what? I don't think about my own career at all. So, so getting a perspective like that is nice to hear. Thank you. Yeah. Well, I know you spend your days on side show looking at. Yeah. That's it, man. I, you know, I know I follow my heart, man. And that's until I got culture bit of bullshit. But uh, Walter's whispered to me that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. Steve. No, I wish you the best of luck with your movie, man.

You seem like a really nice guy. I really hope it does well. Thank you, Walter. And best to the devils. I hope that you guys with your draft picks that you've had of recent. It sounded like on paper, you guys had a fucking great team. I was like shit with TK and Taylor. They're gonna take over the East.

I was rooting for the Devils. I thought that that's who was gonna win the cup when you guys got the team on paper, but sorry about that, bud. There's always next year. You got a good future, honey, you got some good draft picks. Yeah. From your lips to the Devils ears.

That's right. From G8 in the parking lot. So October 16th, 2020, select theaters I'm assuming, since they're all select theaters these days. Yeah, who knows where it's going to open and stuff. I think my folks will get to see the floor to, you know, on a theater and I'll be stuck here in California waiting for Governor Newsom to open everything up again, you know, on a theater and I'll be stuck here in California waiting for Governor Newsom to open everything up again, you know.

Crazy days. Also, I'm going to say while we're talking about the documentary you made about the amazing Jonathan, it is always, always amazing. It's on YouTube and people should watch that. I watch that. It's fucking awesome. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Really good. Thank you.

Yeah, for free now. And it's always been for free. But yeah, it's a, you know, the, the film was, was a wonderful experience and, you know, knowing that I got to do something about a friend and somebody I look up to, um, meant the world to me. But, you know, I got a text message over this quarantine and he said, thank you for making the film, thank you for what you did for me and my career and it's certainly the best film that's been made about me.

I'll take that, thank you. That felt very nice. I was just trying to remember how we phrased it. But it was very nice to see that because it was a little touch and go for a while there. Yeah. Alright, Steve. Well, thank you for calling in. Good talking to you, buddy. Really good talking. Yeah. Love you, cute. Love you, boys. I really look forward to the next time we get to hang out and would love to just like literally, I really mean this. I'd love to, I've been meaning to get to the East Coast. That's why I've been texting Sal a few times.

But I really, like I'm just flying out there to just hang. Like I just wanna catch up with you, with Sal, with Colin, and you of course, and like all of us just, I'd love to just get a bottle of Jamison. Yeah, I did. Sitted somebody's house, play some good tunes and just bullshit and have a good time because it's just been too long.

Are you guys coping with it well or? Yeah, you know, I settled into a good groove actually. Yeah, yeah, it's all right. What are you gonna do? Exactly. It is what it is, right? Well, I miss you fellas and can't wait to hang out with you guys And thank you so much for taking the time to have me on. Hey, thank you for coming on. We'll talk to you soon. Let's see our boys. Bye guys.

Steve burn ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, he's he's a great guy. I really like him a lot. Yeah, but before we go, Walt Yeah, he's a great guy, I really like him a lot. But before we go, well, a news story made me think of buttholes. A New Jersey hypnotist was arrested after subjecting patients to illegal prostate exams. Oh, please don't tell me this is Marshall Manloff. That's like very well found this one because she goes, is this Marshall Manloff? That's like unfortunately no. Yeah, Robert Bruckner, patients would visit him for a hypnotherapy session

and he would perform the exams, I guess. Well, it says it unclear if the patients were under hypnosis during the exams. I would assume so. Wait a minute, wait a minute. So he was a, he was a, a proctologist who practiced hypnosis to, no, I think he was a hypnotist that practiced proctology.

Yeah. He's not a licensed doctor and he owns major mindset hypnosis counseling. He offers services to adults, teens, and children. The investigation was launched after patients went to police and described their visits. So hypnosis must be real then because. Well, we saw with Ming. I mean, obviously, I mean, two seconds more and he would have cues finger up his ass. That's the way I'm putting my finger up his ass.

No, he's putting his finger up your ass. He was arrested and charged with sexual assault and danger, the welfare of a child and practicing medicine with adolescents. I guess he was doing it to a couple of different people, but like, yeah, it's for some reason. It's just like, you're like, I'm like, oh man.

Do you really, you're gonna stick your finger up a kid's ass? Yeah, man. Got a, you're gonna stick your finger up a kid's ass. Yeah, man. Gotta gire you. So. You. Ha. Well, it's too sleepy to say to them. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh