Tell Em Steve-Dave - #458: Sarcata Nagrata

Episode Date: October 25, 2020

Walt celebrates a sexy birthday, Git ‘Em lives with Camel spiders, Joe Gatto calls in to talk pooches.

You don't even want to see how lit my dick is. I like you. You like every ramen soup? No. No. I know my friends falling on hard times are he's sleeping with fucking silver fish and crickets up his ass. I need to help this guy out. Well, as Adelaide Field has me being on methadone and Debbie getting me clean from it.

Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave. I'm here with Q. Yeah boy. And a man. Now better than a half century moving into what would you call it? His mid 50s. Mid 50s.

Best years of my life are still ahead of you, bro. What are you talking about? Do you believe so? Fuck yeah. If you don't think that way, it's over. Yeah, I think that way, simply because so many shitty days are behind. But I'm like, I sure hope so. Yeah, I hope the best days are ahead too.

I think, I think, like, you think you'll enjoy like retirement the day that comes? Yeah, because I feel, I feel like I got a taste of it during the pandemic shutdowns. Yeah. And initially it was very difficult. It was very, very difficult. But then towards the end I was like, I'm fucking digging this. I couldn't get used to this big time, you know. Brise not such an idiot after all.

How do you pull this off? He knew. Where are my pills? So you're 53 tomorrow. Wow. First I hear. Know is there any difference? 52 to 53?

Do you feel like, I don't even say I'm older when people are like, how old are you anyway? I just say 50. Just say 50? Yeah, I'm just say 50 now. The same thing you condemned me for. At the wedding, Mary Beth's dad was like, something about me being 50 and Walton being a big girl. He told you he's 50.

He sold you out so fast. I got this for you. Which I never did. It's never a thought as to why if you did lie, why you lied. It's just the truth to why if you did lie, why you lied. It's just the true that's to come out. Yeah. Can you start your marriage off on that kind of bad, you know, foot? Yeah, I'm not marrying him though.

Yeah, you still want to, you don't want to lie to the fucking your father and law. Yeah, it's true. I did lie to him though. Yeah. I did lie to him because I forgot to tell you in the last time we actually talked about the wedding. I had these, my vows. Some of the vows were a little bit dicier and risque.

And the one of them was, I was talking about like when I knew I loved her and I'm saying when it wasn't. And the third time I said, or the third item that I said it wasn't, I was when it wasn't. And the third time I said the, or the third item that I said it wasn't, I was like, it wasn't when you had sex with me with barely knowing me at a one-star motel that you're expense. That wasn't true though. I just said it because I thought it would be funny.

That's what makes it the best. And so when we were out, like when I went to Vegas, but when I went to Vegas, we, Mary Beth and her dad and I went out to dinner, but when I went to Vegas, we married Beth and her dad and I went out to dinner and he brought it up. He was like, I can't remember how it came up, but he brought it up and I could see he was like kind of uncomfortable about it. And I said, well, let me make it feel better. Yeah. I said, I said, that wasn't true. And he was like, it wasn't like, it was this wash of relief. Like he was like, was it? And

I was like, no, I was like, I just said it because I thought it would be funny. Yeah, which to me means he shouldn't have a wash or a leaf because it's almost worse. Yeah. That is that like his son and law took the time during the wedding to say something, make something up, present to the world is true.

Left him hanging and discomfort all this time. Well, I'm on the way up to your wedding. My wife was like, how come you're not giving it, you're not saying anything. How come you're not going to be able to say anything? You want to say something just as equally as bad as he said on our wedding. She was pressuring me to get up and say something. Really?

Because how you loved it. What did you say in his wedding? Because how you told everybody at my wedding that I was a methadone. Yeah, he was addicted to methadone. But that didn't even know what methadone was. I heard this come out of his mouth and I'm just like, what does that mean? I had no idea what methadone was.

And she held on to it, then held on to it all this time. Fuck yeah. That's what she should. That's what she should. It should be accomplished. I guess she was like, he deserves a bit of his own medicine. And I was just like, I am not getting up and saying a word,

I said, and let alone trying to be funny. And he's wedding I said it ain't happening I said. Well you would have had to outdo anything. Would you said anything anyway? Well if I had just said something really like crazy Adelaide field. Like what? Well as Adelaide field as me being a methadone and Debbie getting me clean from it. me being on methadone and Debbie getting me clean from it. And her family was a nice story, a touching story. And her family's face like that puzzle look on their face like oh my god what?

She's marrying a junkie. That's as shocking as like wait he's not 50 he's 52. That's that's as shocking as like wait he's not 50 he's 52 Yeah, you would have had to said something worse than what I said What what I if he said something worse than I said I would be like this is amazing Yeah, I would have loved it or you say that now Because of everything but smooth as silk but I guarantee you well if you what what did you throw out there like Like accused me of being a racisted the silk, but I guarantee you. What did you throw out there, like accused me of being a racist, or be like, I have to object because I know for a fact,

he cheated or something like this. I mean, it would have been anything. Anything that would be so beyond the pale of like, oh my God. Oh, damn, it would have been awesome. It would be so unwalt. That would be amazing. But you did say you were going to yell tell them Steve

David the end then I was like god damn I wish you had done it yeah I mean I just said that as a joke I never once was serious that I would do that it's too nice I'm sure I'm sure she would not have appreciated me screaming tell him Steve Dave I don't know I mean I did an Asian impression that Ming in the middle of the valley, so. She seems to roll with a lot of Mary Beth, I don't think you get a worry to it, right? I mean, she knew what she got into, right? She asked for it.

Yeah, she saw it out. Yeah, she stalked it, particularly. Tell us what you get. What do you got planned for the birthday? I actually celebrated my birthday last weekend. So one of the best birthday celebrations of my entire life. What'd you do? Well, the reason we celebrated early was because I got home from work on Friday and there's no kids. They were out doing air things. I was like, we

should celebrate my birthday tonight because there's nobody home. And my birthday, you know, anything's on the menu. Oh! So, I took advantage of that. And then literally the next day, I get to pick where I wanted to go eat because we just told the kids it's this weekend. Yeah. And I went to friendlies and I had the best piece of meat I've ever had in my life. Really?

At a friendlies, is that? I've been to Mortons. Wait a second. Are you in Christian's room? I've ever had in my life. Really? Out of friendly, is that? I've been to Mortons. Wait a second, are you in Christian's group? I've been to Christian's group earlier. No, that was in the day before. But it was like usually when I go and I pick friendly, I'm like, you know, and I tell everybody how great it's gonna be. It's never really as good as I think it's gonna be.

But this particular time, I got a Salisbury steak that was fucking better than anything. I love a good Salisbury steak. Go on and say it. I know what you're gonna say. Morton's a charge. I'm telling you, I know you think I'm just saying it to fuck with you. Wow.

It was so damn good. And then I got ice cream. And then the next day, like the Packers were playing the box and Tom Brady was facing off against Aaron Rogers And I really want to watch this game and it's my birthday weekend We have a family engagement And I was like I really want to watch this game. I said I go Aaron Rogers and Tom Brady This could be the last time they ever faced off against each other. This is historic This is two whole favors going head to head. I want to watch this game

And my wife was like well, I'll just tell him that you had to work this weekend. What a true. Oh my God. And I was so I sat there with the two dogs and watched Tom Brady fucking light up and Rogers. They crushed them. And just sitting there going like this may have been the best birthday weekend of my entire life. I mean, I came into work. I asked him or Mike, I mean, I let them tell fucking boring stories dinner interrupt them. I even chuckled harder at the fucking horrible jokes. I mean, I've been a fucking like pleasure to deal with, I imagine, this

week. Wow. Yeah, it's been great. Now, why can't it be like that all the time, not just once a year? I'll tell you why. Okay. Because if it's like that all the time, then there's nothing to look forward to then. Once a month. Once every two months. If you do it, but if you do it, you get used to it. And then like the, then how do you up the ante when it's time to up the ante done? That's when you appreciate it, Warman. You know what? There's something to be said for that because I am a fan of rapid escalation to a point where it was people like comfortable. So yeah, maybe the like, the bull in his, and his son sitting out there on the hill,

you know, you walk on down instead of running down. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't get anything physical, like a physical gift. It was all like stuff that like, you couldn't buy it a store. Uh-huh. So for the Salisbury steak. Yeah, it was great. Well, I'm about to correct that for you because I brought you some gifts. Big gift. Big gifts. Well, this the one in blue is a is a kutraman. You could open it. What does that mean? I've heard that word. It just comes with. I've never understood that word, man. I've always been too embarrassed to ask what that means. So it's a lot.

Yeah, and too lazy to look it up. I just felt it. I'm hoping that this will give you, well, you'll see. Yeah. I'm sure it's bound. I know you probably can't be going to the Golden Coral now. Might be harder to get there. Let you down last time a little bit.

It's a third one he's got today. This is like a high-end chocolate frow. Oh, I heard a fuck around bro. You're my boy. Thank you. Yeah, I figured, you know, bring a little Golden Coral home to you. And this is the chocolate that melts, that goes into it.

My kids are gonna love this. Yeah. So it's not from a defunct golden-crown. No, no, no. And this is what's good about this is though, that you don't ever have to worry about some fucking disease-ridden little kid. The only germs in there are the germs that you put in there. Exactly. Thank you, Q.

Yeah, you know. I have to call back to a very old story on Tom Steve's, right? Yeah, yeah purpose. Yeah, I did I did a purpose. Yeah I was just thinking about you in the golden corral and things We all might be missing in the pandemic and I was like what we got a feeling guy now if you don't want it My feelings will not be hurt. I want it. You want it. I want I will use this I will use this I will use this at Thanksgiving. Oh, man. I love that and I will try to use it on on Christmas too Okay, but definitely I'll send you pictures of the whole family with their fucking mouths Here we've never had a chocolate fountain in and our own, you know, a boat. Yeah, now you do it'll it'll have so much chocolate

I don't know it will look like they're about to get canceled Now you do? It'll have so much chocolate on it. It'll look like they're about to get canceled. That's it. Thank you. Oh, happy birthday, man. It's wonderful having you in my life. It's wonderful having you as a friend.

It's so sweet. Thank you. It's been a fucking, I mean, this should have been my 50th birthday. Well, it is since I'm not, I think. Right. It's totally 50 from now on. Remember that amazing speech I gave it you're

wedding that time. She said, Q's out doing me. Walt, I wondered how you felt about this. It's the great pumpkin Charlie Brown. For the first time since 1966, it will not be on broadcast television. This is one of the things that like that get him brought to my attention during this week you want to let me know.

And he also was like, what do you think of this? Yeah. Because if I'm like the shultz, I don't think that. I don't think that, like I'm going to be outraged by this. I don't think that as much as far back as you can remember, obviously it's been on network television. So as you had another thing that's changing, that ages you out, that makes you like,

fuck, I don't have HBO Max, not that you watch it every year, but it's a change, it's the principle. Uh, you know what, yeah, it really didn't bother me. I was shocked that it was still... Didn't bother me either, because... Yeah, I was shocked that they still ran it on network TV up until last year, and this is the first year they're not.

I was like, isn't that fucking shit on YouTube? You could just watch it any time you want. Who cares if it's not on network TV? Yeah, I didn't think it was I thought it was a non story. Yeah. I think it means a lot to people in the stiles. It was being bought and sold and you know, like as now you can't watch it. If you don't have HBO Max, I was on Apple.

Because you see, I thought it was on no HBO Max. Well, HBO Max, let me tell you something is a great service. They have a lot of shit on that I'll do you feel max is is winning. I'm sorry. What you're right Apple TV plus my bad That makes sense to me because they have the snoopy series on there now Now if you're upset by this and if you're feeling down about this of the story if there are people legitimately like oh my god This is such a bummer, you're really, your life must be fucking amazing. If this bombs you out at this point, I mean, this is a really not an issue.

All the shit that's going on in the world. And this is what's got you fucking maybe they're only caring about this just to care about something else. So fucking miserable right now. I'll tell you what I started., I, I, I've been a reader all my, my whole life, like a book a week I would read. And then something happened a few years ago, I just got busy and I, and I stopped and, and this pandemic has brought me back to the point where I'm now reading two, sometimes three

books a week. Like, like, I'll just read your devouring, devouring is the right word. And I love it. And it's hard, like, I'm not playing video games right now. I'm not even watching movies. I'm just in this thing where I'm just read, you're devouring. Devouring is the right word, and I love it. And it's hard, like, I'm not playing video games right now. I'm not even watching movies. I'm just in this thing where I'm just reading, reading, reading, and I love it. And I have lost track of what's going on in the world.

I got, like, it's been- Want me to tell you? No. It's been such an escape dude. It's been unbelievable. I'll just tell you, it hasn't gotten any better. No, I didn't, well, the election's coming up. So I can unbelievable. I'll just tell you it hasn't gotten any better not until well the elections coming up Things have just got it's just gotten worse and it's just there's no end in sight for like when good times will return

Yeah, it's just a miserable fucking cesspool turn the page bro Really is and I'm telling you when I went to New York. I was like this is the most chaotic cesspool I've been in in some time You know, yeah, do you feel smarter when I've been in in some time. You know? Do you feel smarter when you read more? Like, do you feel better about yourself? Not only in a band, I don't mean in a condescending, but you feel smarter. I don't mean to get like, don't come up with that.

I just cocksucker. Yeah, don't take that as a tack. Cause I'm like, things are like, do you feel like you accomplish more by reading than just sitting down or laying down and watching TV at like 12 hour clips. I think it depends on what's being named old prize way tonight. That's the insult. Yeah, I was trying to get it. I wondered if you're feeling attacked is only because you're you're

shining on mirror on yourself. You're just getting a chocolate syrup found. You know what it depends on what I'm reading. I'm reading a lot of um Fiction right now, so I don't necessarily get that smarty pants vibe, but I do read Biographies and yeah, I like reading those but I'm but right now I'm deep in a fiction thing So he can school you on Illinois Roosevelt? thing. So he can school you on Eleanor Roosevelt. I'm really I'm reading this detective series now that I that somebody told me two days ago what is apparently written it's one name's on the cover but apparently the woman who wrote the Harry Potter books wrote them. Well she's Sarcada

Nugrada. Well that's the other thing I heard too. What is it called when you're not when you're not Inkersona Nogradah, I didn't really out oh with the trans community shit. Yeah, I read that to people are getting there tattoos Remove too. I'm telling you specifically. I'm reading this series these detective books are so fucking good I'm so into them trying to crack the case. I'm loving the characters and the new book just came out Which I never even heard of these series before a month ago. And then my firm was like, oh, oh, yeah, no, like people are hating on the last book and the one I haven't read yet. Sure, under a pen name. Well, that's how I didn't know it was her. I just started reading them. And he said, and

like, apparently, like, there's some, there's some, it trends advocates of pissed at her for what's in the book. Did she make one of the killers? Uh, trans? I don't know yet. I haven't read that one. Yeah, that's what I heard like that never happens I was a lamp. Yeah, well, I will say this fake story though But isn't this detective story? Yeah, it's a fake to make for it's more free We were doing it probably for a sensationalistic purposes though. Well, I'm just telling you I have a JK rolling needs a sensational. I shit Doesn't everybody I don't think she does the books are so think JK Rowling needs a sensational, I shit. It doesn't everybody? I don't think she does.

The books are so good, dude, that when he told me that, I was like, there's no fucking way that she slipped in anti-trans messaging into this. I was like, there's just no fucking way. I guarantee it's people making a big deal out of nothing. But you don't know, because you haven't read this one yet? No, but based on the way the books are so far It just wouldn't fit in the tone of the books to do that and this is like a like a who is the hero quorum more in strike it's a detective and his sister it's a male

You well his partner is a female okay. Yeah, but yeah, he's a male Sorry, I suppose but he's a war hero. He lost his leg. He's missing a leg. You know, it's good. So I feel sorry for him. He didn't ask you to. This choice. He doesn't ask you to. I got my own problems. Yeah, like I'm super into the, I'm super into him. And I was disturbed to hear that I could be run out of the community for real. She write them as a, as a female author or as a male author. Male author. Oh a male author. Oh, even worse. But she pulled that shit with Harry Potter. She changed it into JK, so people think she's a male.

But that's been done many times. But now it's unacceptable to use a male pseudonym. No, I think Waltz is making it up right now. Yeah. No, you don't think that's shitty, though? Not really. No, it doesn't matter. What the sex of the person who wrote it, I read into it.

And it was like, it must matter because she's submitting and changing her name and trying to become a male. No, no, she did the same thing. Stephen King did. She wrote the books and submitted them anonymously onto this name because she wanted them to succeed on their own merits. So she got a publishing as a non-known writer, as an unknown writer. She got a publishing deal. Got it out there They sold like 2000 books, but she got the deal and then the one of the UK papers leaked that it was her

Now now loaded and then they explored became a Yeah, and it's they deserve to be best. I was there. They're really good books That that Bachman books or the Bachman name that Stephen King used It was like some nosy guy went to like the library of Congress and like Star Cross reference and shit. And that's how he discovered Stephen King was... Well, no, why? Why take that from him? Like if the guy wants to do it, why not just let him do it? He's doing it for a reason. Yeah, I don't get it. Yeah. Speaking of book authors. Yeah, we're gonna have a guest. Last week's was divisive you wouldn't think that would be a Steve burn type thing because he's so nice

But I saw on Reddit somebody was complaining now. I rarely go to Reddit, but I was like, oh, let me see you know if people like Steve some did some didn't somewhere vocal about it and blamed me for bringing them on and One thing was one guy complained that it was going along just fine until we had them on. And then it slowed down the show or whatever. But I'm like, but we did an hour before you even came on.

Never enough. It's never enough. And I'm like, part of me wants to be like, fuck you ass. All the other parts like, wow, they like it that much. Get up? Yeah, do you get half empty or half full. So you can perceive it. Right, because I'll never talk to him unless I like go back at him. Right, so it's all how you, how you, how you, you love me so much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't want his Johnson diluted. He also complained about me railing up against PC shit, which honestly I don't think I've done in some time. Have I? Like I am not on that anti-p... You know why? Because I was fucking right. And all this shit where I was right. All this shit where people are like, oh, it's complaining about PC.

It was fucking playing about politically correct. And all this other shit is like, look where we are now. You can't even fucking submit your goddamn book as a male without people fucking coming down on it. She can't say anything that goes against it. I think she's a billionaire. I don't think we ought to worry about her. No, I'm not worried about her. But yeah, for the, this is what you got now.

The real victim would be if I couldn't read the books because somebody else decided that there was a wrong message in it. Then I'd be the victim. And it's not crazy to think that. What's the second person that brought it up to me? Yeah. What's that?

That's something in her books, Pesana and I grata. Well, yeah, like her. I mentioned to my friend that I was reading. I thought her as a person, like her, her community, her fan base is kind of turned on her and they are not happy with her. But this is, she'll never went back that fan base. There's nothing she can do now.

How many of them know? How many do you think? A lot of them. I saw somebody come in here, like flesh and blood, not somebody online companion. Someone came in with a really awesome tattoo of a monster. And I was, I rarely ever say this. I rarely ever say, oh, hey man, I love that ink.

But I was like, I really dig that tattoo. I said, that's crazy that ink, but I was like I really dig that tattoo. I said that's crazy that you like it was like I Think it was Boris Karloff as Igor or Bella Legosi as Igor and then I saw another one That was really cool and she was like oh I Don't even want to talk about that one. I have to get that one removed and Mike knew what it was and he said Oh, that's Harry Potter. She was yeah, she was getting it removed because of what's happened. Wow. She said she was so into Potter that she got this tattoo, but now after all this has come to light,

she's so disillusioned and so unhappy that, you know, somebody that she held in respect has beliefs that are so in direct opposite of what she believes and that she doesn't even want to tattoo anymore. You can't have that. Wow. Can't have somebody disagree with you. Well, I heard you also say that.

No, I wouldn't say we're influencers though, but I saw this poll that I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I didn't know it was Mary Beth. Shut it. But they said that people, like 78% of people want their influencer, the people that they follow their influencers to held the same core beliefs that they do. That's a very high number. Sure, but I don't think that's crazy.

If say you're not a good guy, say you're like, I'm totally into it. If they don't line up exactly how I line up thinking, then I'm not going to, I'm not going to support, I don't know if you support them or you're not going to be following them or doing anything to further their career because they just are like done. I think that's the key to our success is indifference and total apathy when it comes to that kind of shit, politics and such.

We're here to make jokes at each other's expense and to fuck around and to talk about the nonsense that goes on in our lives. So let's do that. Let's do it. Yeah, not to. Okay, well, let's, we'll start off by Q. You tell me I can't remember another time when Walt lied to me. Oh, but I'm going to show you a picture that proves he lied to you. Oh, but I'm going to show you a picture that proves he lied to you. Whoa, that's.

I can't. It's pretty fancy, right? I don't know how to put on your glasses for this one. Oh, I got to put my glasses on. Yeah, that's officially because, uh, you claimed that at the wedding, you did not wear gold chain. What am I looking at right there, bro? Oh, it's a chain I got on right now. No, it's not. Polish those glasses.

They're all fogged up. No, I swear to God, that is not a gold chain. Somebody must have altered the photo or there. That's on my Instagram. I swear to God, I swear to God on my children's eyes. I don't ever want a gold chain. This is the chain I've worn for the last five years. No, are you sure you want to say that because there's a lot of

compliments saying like, hey, looking good, well, too bad you lied about it, but you're looking good. I did not lie. That is a trick of the light or somebody has altered the photo. I had to say what you was. Yeah, I mean, if you want to judge for yourself, go to tell them. Instagram. I would not lie about wearing a gold chain. I didn't think you would either, but I mean, I'm looking at you in a fucking sweet ass gold chain right here. Smiling too. Oh, I gotta take a photo. I don't want to take the photo. You

didn't? I was fucking corralled into it. It was, it was a lot of fucking photos, wasn't it? Oh hell yeah. And when she Mary Beth got them back, she's like, oh, I should have gotten a photo of just you, wasn't it? Oh hell yeah. And then when she married Beth got him back, she's like, oh, I should've kind of photo of just you with wall and just you with cue. I was like, it was rain, don't you remember? Like it started to rain. Well you did get it. Yeah, we had to go.

So just us three. No, just you, me and you, then just me and cue. Oh wow. Then just me and Mike and me and I'm like, that's okay, that's okay. Very good. Holy shit, do you hear that? I don't have my gun.

I had phones on. No, it's not through the headphones. It's a sound of a thousand boners going unpopped because they don't have bluetooth. Oh, bluetooth back. That was a clever segment. Thank you. What does the sound of one boner popping? Still have a try.

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He's traveled over. This is so. No, not traveling. I love the details you feel it. Like, no, you're no. No, she wasn't concerned he was cheating. Okay. She was saying that she was

set. So it'd be like in my duffel bag, I take back and forth to work every day. She found it in there. Yeah, it was just brief case. It might not have been in a bag, might have just been, she just found it in his stuff. And she was upset, she was like, she's like, why would he need it? She's like, why would he need it?

Like, what's wrong with me was her attitude. Really? She's that like old-fashioned and like, out of touch with like, with today's. Well, how old is she? She's your age nice she's forty four How old is the husband same age same forty four forty five Did you tell her like it's not you it's just a Hod as guys I said put it out of your head you don't even want to see how lit my dick is

I Like every ramen soup I told I said look I said there's two things going on I was like one yes you guys have fucked you've been married 20 years Billion times I was like It's not like you're here telling me that your sex life is on fire and you don't get why he's not joining in I was like to I was like he's 44 44 though. Yeah, that's that's a little young now, isn't it? You just to the start of it? I think I think I think I'm 52 yeah, not yet, but last week whatever was on the menu

Yeah, he thought he had dyslexia thought he's 25 I could have did on a full stomach More cells very stack please It's not gonna slow me down Yeah, but there might be you know, where they're smoked. There's fire. I don't think he's cheating on her I think he's just fuck the same woman for decades and and it's just like Hey, man, but so is wall So is wall, but I also don't think humans are the same, right? You know what I mean?

I don't think everybody can be a wall to obviously No, yeah, yeah, we wish I know But I talked her off the line. I'm so sorry utopia go a human utopia But I talked her off the line. It's like so sorry you topia. Go. A human utopia. So was she, did she seem satisfied with your... She did.

After I fucked her. Oh, no. No, I didn't talk her back in the day. So the, no, but this is the way that I put it to it. I said, look, I said, this is the way you should be looking at it and have a glass full, have a glass empty. I said, he didn't tell you because he was embarrassed but he probably he noticed the issue. Your sex life is important to him. So he took steps to fix it, you know,

without even evolving. You know, like you should be flattered that like he still wants that sex with you. He still wants to. He's just had a little trouble with it. And rare is the guy who wants to run up to his wife immediately be like, yes, who can't pop owners? Yeah, It's different for everyone. Not everyone has the lack of self respect to come on a podcast and just blather about it. Yeah. Do you feel that you helped her?

I feel I helped her. Yeah. Do you feel though that like, does her husband know that she's going to an impractical Joker and telling the details of her? I don't like that. How much would you hate that? If you found that shit out.

I'd be fucking like, I think any guy, I wouldn't say specifically in impractical chukka. Well, I'm no threat. And I know him, but I don't think you'd be happy. I know that you'd be happy. What world is, is fuck a bee, cue, not a threat to every fucking woman on this planet? I mean, this world. No, self-deprecating bullshit right there. I would never, I would, it's not even in the cards, it's though I don't have that relationship with her. I don't think he'd be happy. I don't think he would be happy.

So, is it my hat is back? Right, but is it just as, there's a lot of little things being held back from each other in this marriage? His prescription, her phone line to you. Right. How good of friends are you that you have followed in you? He wouldn't be surprised that we,

that he spoke about. Yeah, about that. Yes, but just in general that we communicate, he wouldn't be bothered or surprised. Now how much of a, I've sent them signed things for their family and stuff like that. But how invested are you on this? Oh, not at all. Send them signed things for their family and stuff like that, but how invested are you on it?

Oh, not at all. Because I will you follow up and like in a week and be like, so what's going on? Not at all. How are his directions? Did you talk about the X-Nay, X-Nay? No, no, no. You're not going to follow up and find out if everything... I will now. I will now.

But I wouldn't think to worry about it. I mean, it's probably unlikely that he went to see a doctor without her knowing, right? She said it was Viagra, I don't know. Well, that's a tough one to go to a doctor. You don't have to go see a doctor for Bluetooth. You can just fucking try to online survey. Well, you see your online doctor.

Which is legal in 30 states. I should send him any 52, baby. All US territories. Wow, I'm pretty sure too. Why, you think I was out of line to discuss with him? How close would you, on a scale of 110, are you with this person? I mean, at this point, I've known him 30 years. Okay, and we did hook up back him, you know

I'm talking 25 years ago What a matter to you at all. Yes How often do you speak to this person? You want how many times a year? Three or four times will change emails a year a year a year and it's but it's never gotten into that realm of like no right where I need I Need the sage like advice. No, not not about her Really you can't just answer some reason. She has no girlfriend I convinced her to get into therapy about three years ago

Yeah, yeah, I've tried to be like a Mentor Yeah, I want to put your naploser, but yeah, I've influenced it That's nice though that you haven't like, you know, you don't go around, you know Bragging about it. Well, I'm on a podcast with six figures listening about it. Well, I'm on a podcast with six figures listening. Yeah, but you kept this, you kept all your listener base in the dark about how you going about helping people and giving a great advice though. You put like a lot of people would have to shout that from the rooftops, you know, let everybody know,

oh, I help, I saved my friends life tonight. As I do it, I'm going to bear I get out. I know. Which my friends were more depressed. I had something to. Oh, they are. I think everybody has like you don't you provide this for you know. I don't think so. Really? I don't think that I provide. More of a Dutch uncle, I think. I don't know what's a Dutch uncle. Like somebody who's always there to reprimand you. Oh, yeah, if you had to ask him with me not in the room,

I don't think my advice is one where he walks away going like, man, I'm really glad he's in my life to give me this advice. I think he's more like, God, I wish he'd fucking stop telling me what to do. I can't help it. I can do. I'm here in a second. Yeah, I got a question for you. I say I have something to say to get him too, but I want to hear your answer to this. Come over here again.

Watch out for my chocolate fountain. Oh, wow, stay away. We're going to hook it up after Thanksgiving after my family uses it. I'll bring it into the stash. We can dip things in chocolate together. I'm a full full crunch for you. Go ahead. I'll be well.

Oh, yeah. Go ahead. Now, the question at the table is, go ahead. Can we ask him? So we would discuss. I mean, were you listening? Not really. OK. So we're discussing me giving advice to friend the mind is good. You asked. So we would discuss, I mean, were you listening? Not really. OK.

So we're discussing me giving advice to a friend of mine. OK. Over the years, I've been a source of a confidant of people. A valuable. Sure. And Walt made a scene like that's not something that he does. But I said, well, what about Gidham? Don't you give Gidham advice and like,

and give him guidance and stuff like that? And he says no. But that's where we're at now. How do you just want? Does Walt guide you in any way or he tries? How so? He does give me advice. I don't always accept it. He tries to help out when he can. So good advice? Yes. So why don't you take it? He's incapable of taking it.

There's a hard headiness? Yeah, there's definitely like a titanium wall in that skull that won't let good advice seep in. And he just, yeah, he's just, he's a type of person that he's gonna do it his way. I'm not setting my ways. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's very setting my ways. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's very setting my ways.

But my advice comes from the hardest. Like, I may say it nasty and I may say it like I can't stand you. But it comes from a point like that. He said I can't stand you. That was Saturday. He said I wouldn't stand you and see you Wednesday and then walked out the door. Oh, really?

We're having a lock and clogged. Oh, those days are over. We need some blue chew in this fucker relationship big time. That honeymoon is long, long over. If I don't see a patch that says, I can't stand you, I'll see you Wednesday. Because it's like talking to drywall. It's like talking to drywall. Like, he'll tell me all the things that are wrong and I'll tell him, well, you should

do this. You should do this. Why don't you think of this? Why don't you do this? I told you to try this talking to drywall. I take the advice in and I weigh it, but for some reason my brain gives its own stupidity a lot more weight than the... Well, can you give me an example of good advice Walt's giving you that you have outweighed in your own

mind? That I should get out of the place where I'm standing right now. Okay, so why, what in your mind now ways it? Because it's, it's, it's cheaper to put up with it right now that it is to go out and financially it's cheap. Yes, it's psychologically not cheaper. Yeah, financially it's cheaper and I could put the money that I'm saving towards. In a soda can under a bed. We're still on. Until a conflagration breaks out. We're still trying to figure out not. Until the conflagration breaks out. There's still, we're still trying to figure out what's going on with the farm with rebuilding. And like apparently the insurance won't give us enough money

to rebuild. So we're also looking at, you know, buying a smaller place. So that money that I have could go towards that. And I don't, I see as kind of a waste to spend it on something like a year at a year at other housing that I could put towards something more permanent. Okay. But why would you have to pay for it?

Will you own it then as well or will your father and his and his business partner own it? He's trying to get rid of his business partner. So this would be something that would be us. I shouldn't have said that. My father and I saw that. But you have enough to do that, but like no steps, no things going are moving forward to achieve that goal. So why not just give yourself some semblance of normalcy

and just I had to deliver a package, an eBay package. It was unbelievably somebody bought something in RedBank. Oh wow. And I walked it over rather than mail it. So it was a nice day. And I saw two places that said apartments for rent within walking distance from here. And I was like, bro, you should at least call

and just see what the fucking rent is. I go, how sweet would it be to live right around like within walking distance or like, or two second drive, I said? And he will not even, he's not motivated enough to even call to see what the rent is. No, because I still have to go to the farm at least five days a week. There's always going to be excuse as to why you're not willing to just have some sense

of normalcy in your life. There's always going to be something there to stop you from doing it. And I've just accepted it now. So I now, so that's why I'm like, all right, I can't stay and you'll see Saturday or Wednesday. And I don't say an anger, I was just like, yeah, I know, I get it. I'm not an anger. I'm like to feed. I'm sure a lot of people out there can empathize

with the whole wanting, kind of seeing that there's, you know, you're having a mental block, but you just can't get over it. There's like, I think a lot of things are Mount Everest to get them for some reason. Like, the things that like a lot of people don't consider. Like his dinner. But they he looks at things as if they're like, like they're the equivalent of like, you know, climbing Mount Everest for some reason. And some of that's my own doing

and that putting it off makes the hell. Oh, I think your mother is doing. Which one? Your adopted mother. I think she fucked you over so bad. She fucked you up in the head. It's almost going to be impossible to regain. There's no hope.

To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what? To what. Uh, uh, what? Two hundred dollars, like where he's, where he's not going to live in a basement with silver fish. No, I mean, I know there's no hope for that. That's the like, I think he says it's actually crickets and spiders. What is it? It's fucking crickets lately.

They're everywhere. Yeah. Oh, it's both of them. Those mocos came crickets. Yeah. Or the camel crickets were there. And the other ones, the other ones I don't mind. So it's camel crickets.

I was, for decades without seeing this many crickets. It's like they've had an orgies some way But you know we did that benefit pond for him he has Multimultible years worth of rent that yes you do bullshit I you don't have at least two years worth of rent Okay, well, you're not fucking living a man hat and high rise you're living a fucking room with a hot plate in red bank Not a Joker you asshole.

I mean, I don't want to get into figures, but anything over. It would be just a little over two years. You just got into figures then. That can be cut out. We're not cutting it out. Keep that shit in. But that's not including, you know, but you work full time. It's not like if you spend this money on rent that you're going cutting it out. Keep that shit in. But that's not including, you know,

you're telling me that. But you work full time. It's not like if you spend this money on rent that you're gonna be like, have nothing to your name. But it's, I'm putting, again, I'm taking them, I'm taking and saving money. Again, if need be to put towards,

the amount of money that I have from that end work, if I could put a really, I've talked about it with Jeff, I could put down a really nice down payment on a house on a house with your debt with with my dad's credit Yeah, and the money it would be a really nice Wait, are you telling me that you're you're you're angling for home ownership? Again, it's it's we're still trying to see what's going on with the four it's it's so effed up It it drives me crazy beyond belief How long ago was the fire? July 20, 15 probably, or close to 15.

Wow. That's a long time. What do you think that did to your psyche, living with that insane woman this whole time? Her shit and all that, making you shit outside, like an animal. It's living with camel crickets, whatever the fuck they are. I don't like it. I just Without it

Their huge is over his whole face Every once in a while I see one on the pillow and it's just like yeah, just that's not enough No, what will be enough? There is nothing enough They're kicking me out her kicking out. Yeah, I said, you are leaving her house in a body bag or she throws you out. Or the police have to forcibly remove you. That's how I think you're getting out. You will never leave the house. No, no, no. If the house was repaired, I'd be out in a hurry.

I'm sorry. I'm, I, there are bugs in your bed. Your bed? In the basement. We use sleep. Yes. Get them. You're better in the basement. We use sleep. Yes. You can't get out of there. And and recently we've had two birds down in the basement.

For which I know, yeah, I mean, I would be like, maybe the elite the bugs. The positive glass. Have fun. Geez, but what if we know there's nothing you can do? What if I paid your rent for you? Well, yeah, because then I could, I could, I would be saving that money, yeah.

Can I take it in cash and still live with spiders? So if you did some research and found the department. That was, the big thing is, is the traveling back and forth, especially when it comes, when it comes to winter, it's like seven days a week, I have to go to the farm. And. But how far is the apartment you're forth, especially when it comes to winter, it's like seven days a week I have to go to the farm. And how far is the apartment you're in now from the farm? It's a half way. It's a seller.

It's about half way. It's about 15, 20 minutes. Okay. And I'm asking him to go to the main road bank, which would add another 20 minutes. So that's, that's not worth a 20 minute drive. It's 40 minutes each way. It would be like 40 minutes each way, but bug free. Yeah. And no, and no, cycle, like, like, free fucking yelling and ranting at you.

You're able to use a bathroom when you want to use it. These are things that just don't appeal enough to him. So even if I picked up the rent, you wouldn't, you wouldn't want to do it. Because of convenience. I said, I said, I would. All right, let's, why don't we do some research? Okay. See we can come up with you. Okay. It really is sad to see him languish and, and just he's my, what, what sad is that you find it acceptable? I know. I'm sad. It's acceptable. It is. It is. It's the birchial of the fact that you don't idea with it. But that means you find it acceptable. You're accepting, what are you talking about? It's a very definition of being accepted is staying there when you have the opportunity to leave

I understand why you're doing it that I totally get this is his new mother figure though. Oh His mother figure me let's he lets her walk all over him. Well, I really I don't have a choice choice. Before this, before this, she walked over you too. Jeff told me, spoke to you like, like, like, you're like a five year old in front of the the, the, she said, like, you as Jeff said, she, she, she, she was dropping me, literally bitch, right, yeah, she was dropping me off after because of my Jeep was in the shop or something. She was dropping me off and she was saying something to me out the window that she was leaving. And do you remember what it was? No, not at the top of my head. But Jeff said it was a kin to a mother yelling at a five

year old in front of the supermarket about like I guess getting on like the little love. Jeff must feel like he's on acid between the hours of 12 and five on Sundays. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I think yeah, he just wants to get out of here too. Can't stand you seeing it next Sunday. And how does that bother you? Like that you've got people's nerves to the point where they're your friends and they're like, I can't stand you. I'll see you later.

No, because I've had friends who do the same thing. You know, the same thing. Yeah. So, what an odd had friends who do the same thing. Yeah. So, what an odd duck you are, get them. Yeah. Well, the duck is, I'm like, I've said, it's kind of like water off a duck's back sometimes. Like, I take this stuff and I just let it roll. Okay, stand up.

Of course you can, no one can. I'm just pop back up to the surface. Well, it's not like, there's no cause for this because no matter what, also like unrelated to his living conditions He'll just tell you you're wrong about everything and tell you that like, you know, so there's a point right Yeah, but I think about you. That's just this condition. I do. I think about getting them a lot more than I should And I worry about you more than I should and and the other day I had I had such a warm Feeling about you. They're gonna say you had I had such a warm feeling about you.

I'm there. You're gonna say you had heart palpitation. No, no. I was like, I was like, you know, I was thinking about you and that fucking El Virodress. And I was like, go on. I was like, I have a blue shoe in my head. No, and I was like, he's up for anything. I was like, he's such an asset to this show. And he's as much a part of the show as I am at this point.

And I'm like, and I'm like, he's so, I mean, he's just so good to work with. Like you're a gift, a comedic gift. And I mean that in a good way. And I was like, I'm really lucky to have get him on the show. I really feel that way. I think the show is better for get him's, let's get them on the show. I really feel that way. I think the show is better for getms

Let's say influence on the show and and I was feeling really appreciative towards you man And like really like man, he's a good guy. I think it's been a it's been what is the kind of relationship where it's a meotic symbiotic relationship. Oh, no, we've done more fan than he's done Yeah, we're on that I said a little parasitic You're about to pay his rent for a year Yeah, come on, I won't be You're just gonna drop it, you think this guy's gonna find the parmin to look at it and come to me with rents and stuff like that? He might when he went with the author

Oh, it's meant strip and trip to Vegas nothing So $5,000 you lose some weight nothing You think this is the thing I was trying I tried to reschedule the Vegas trip No, you did not You did not I told you pick the days will go on US Schedule you never gave me the days. Oh, okay So you know

So all right, we'll see we'll see Jeez, but yeah, I can't be sleep on fucking bugs crawling all of you dude. This is America You can't be sleep on a fucking bug scroll in the lobby dude. This is America. It's gross. It is gross. You've beard man. Like a bug could be nesting in there as we speak. I hope not.

You mean you don't have to hope. Yeah. You can take steps to make sure it doesn't happen. But you know he's checked out. This is the look he gets when you talk to him. There's definitely a look in the ladies. Yeah, he checked out. He's just on the stairs at the table. Yeah, yeah. I think that like I to him. Oh, there's definitely a G-d-lays. Yeah, he checked out. He just started staring at the table.

Yeah, yeah. I think that, like, I asked him, I said, didn't this, because you were friends with this lady before this, you spent a lot of time or you would go have dinner with her every night. I go, how has this, how can you ever go back now to that relationship before? I mean, it's irrevocably.

Yeah, very good, nice work. Now, and, but he says, no,, it's not so that's that kind of person He is it's like he maintains it like she could That's your dog shit like yeah, you he gets out and then she's like hey, you want to come over for dinner I'd be like fuck you bitch like why would you ever talk to her again? It's who she is. She's making you shit in a pal No, no, I use I go to a park and he's a port of potty. Oh I wasn't taking go to a park and he's a port of potty. It's my bad. My bad. How long does it take you to the park? Uh, well, they just, one is, one's like five minutes away. There's another one that's just

opened up because the school opened up. So that's only about two minutes away. You can't be lurking around school. Children taking shit. No, no, no, it's, um, it's like a school with like a playing field. So you can't report a potty app by the playing field. So I, yeah, you just, you know, I drive the Jeep over park. Doesn't it ever bother you that you're that guy? No, I can tell it doesn't bother me. I think he wants to be that guy in some strange way that he doesn't even realize.

He wants to be the guy that comes to the table and is like and say and so like as if it's the like it's the most normal thing ever. It's these things. Why aren't you doing it? It's not to be that dude. It's not normal, but I will say I think that me doing that rather than expose her to because she complains that there's a smell? I think it she didn't expect that This is like but these are the stories you want to tell because I remember you had the Frank's were down Mrs. Five and Frank and you just started going into way more detail about the the odor that you leave behind Mrs. Frank was horrified These are stories like he wants to be that guy that tell these like these kooky guy. Yeah, you know

It wants to be the crazy guy hot hot Helen cousin. How cousin Helen showed up and all he's talking about is his foot ailments and shit And like you could see it on her face like oh, but you feel like oh, I have no chance with Helen anyway So I'll discuss her I'll make an impact one way or the other, she's gonna fucking remember me. I don't think he's looking to discuss them. I think he's looking to be like, I can captivate them. I can't captivate them with something mundane. I gotta go, I gotta go eccentric. Yeah, guess where I should it for in the morning. I mean, compared to my $5 boot stories or similar stories, would you say that? Yeah, the shitting in a fucking bucket on this on the field at a school is I would just hope that like

Even me and I look I've been disappointed in myself more times than anyone else I know. Doing that, I would just be so disappointed in myself and be like, I gotta be worth more than this. I gotta be. I think it's a good thing about getting them. I don't know if he's that self-reflective though. I think he's just a role with the punches kind of dude, man. He just rolls with it and he's like,

well, that's the way it is, that's the way it is. That's the way it's gotta be right now, yeah. Yeah, I mean, which is a great attitude to have, I think. If it's short term. If you got to have one attitude, that's the way I would prefer it to be if I had to be in his show. Trust me, I would love to be able to just like, you like, I used to go out to the bathroom, open a book. Well, because the, no, the modern bathroom was outside that, that, You're going to have all my jk rallying books

Well, no like the mudroom bathroom was outside the house kind of proper. I was like you know is It's attached you don't have a normal bathroom at the other house I did but it was upstairs so it was easier just to use the mudroom bathroom because it was like right out to it was the the living room the kitchen the mudroom so But that's right, you know, but you know I would go out there reading my book and, you know, that was my, you know, I did enjoy it. I did, yeah, I did enjoy it. And trust me, I was so easy. Yeah, you know how achievable that fucking shit is. And you don't even necessarily have to live here in Redbank even if you lived halfway between here and the horse farm. Yeah, yeah. Like I tried finding apartments. I went to like apartments.com and they are just it, anything that looks reasonably affordable, you click on it and it's like none, even though it will say like updated two days ago,

it'll be like, oh, nothing available. And it's like, well, why did you show me the listing then? And some of the places I've gone to, the requirements are, you have to earn three times the monthly rent in your monthly salary They want copies of your page house, but why can't yeah, but why can't why is that so like daunting to you to provide that You know, it's not it's not that it's daunting to provide it It's that even if I provided it to them. It's not there

You know, I don't I don't make I do make a nice salary here I don't make three times the monthly rent of some of these places. Well now you can go in and be like my sugar daddy is fucking the monthly rent of some of these places. Well now you can go in and be like, my sugar daddy is fucking be- Yeah. And they're like, wait, you're a sugar baby, and oh boy. I knew it was Hollywood type for freaks.

Yeah. But sugar baby, I mean I have horrible diabetes. Oh, I get them. I don't know. Well, you're gonna go check for these apartments and we're gonna be updated on How do you go to your account and you're like yeah, I'm gonna pay for the rent of this dude. Yeah, what does he have on you? There's no other reason I don't know how to explain that. Well, I don't really. It's my money. I don't really have to explain to him

What would I do with it? You know, my friends fall in on hard times. He's sleeping with fucking silver fish and crickets up his ass. I need to help this guy out. I saw Daddy Longlegs in my house the other day. Yeah. Pay my rent. Nice, thank you.

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You have not asked for anything. I rarely asked them. I want so Finally, I can't believe anything about this. That is a really good idea. I'm all 53 states. Oh Please go to like untapped and and yeah, just check it I don't know what to check in or leave reviews five stars I Would greatly appreciate it guys. I think yeah, I think it. I don't know what to check in and leave reviews five stars. I Would greatly appreciate it guys. I think yeah, I think you're about to please pleasantly surprised because the ants They can move rubber tree plants and you're not really asking for much because it is a great beer I mean I stand by it all the varieties. I've tried. I've loved I love the pills for the best I you know, it's my yeah

favorite of the children to try the cat overfaces not try cat over so I heard it is available in that soon. Oh, it is yeah, we got into a bunch of chains here. It's so good. It's my favorite. I'm trying to figure out how to make it year round. It's just the best. You ever wish you you liked beer? Well, never really. Sometimes I wish I did because guys seem to have such a good time having a beer. A bond over beer. Yeah, you're in that kind of thing. You know I'm just great about owning a beer company. What's it? I fucking, like we just, we were working on dinner party the other day and the cruise in

California. I just send the case to the office and it arrives and the crew gets in like Brian sent beer from New York. So now that's my go too. Like I just, I got to go and send him some fucking beer. Yeah. I've sent shit. Did he ever send you to salmon? He sent me to salmon. He did send you. So now that's my go-to like I just I scottigoma sent him some fucking beer. Yeah, yeah I've sat ship should he ever send you to salmon. He sent me the salmon. He did send you believable how many pounds oh god I'm huge it was these frozen packets

Well that frozen they put them in the they vacuum seal and they put everything Yeah, they were cleaning everything. There was unbelievable. They were like three or four actually giant Vacuum sealed the salmon like fillets but like three in each package it was unbelievable so good really so he's he's doing these weren't just like his private catch or these are so he produces this for a commercial project no no no this is just him he caught it really yeah and you're not a little bit concerned about it wasn't clean properly or anything Yeah, some like parasites or some shit and I cooked it. I didn't do raw So I wasn't that concerned. No, it was excellent. It was excellent. Yeah, I mean it texts a bunch now We we really what are you guys talking about he sent you want to see a video? He sent

sure it's Sure, it's a video this guy quitting his job. You'll like this Brian. Okay, and Apparently the guy firing him his daughter works at a strip club So wait, he found this video online and just like hey, he shared this with you. Yeah, you'll think I'll think yeah And then we don't we just got a figure I have to figure you kind of would think this was funny kind of deal Yeah, and then we discuss it Good God It's a fucking Stanley two-time Stanley Cup champion wasting this time on his bullshit So this guy Guy tells this boss that he is dating his daughter after he gets fired

Why I'm working out trying everything we could No hard feelings right? Yeah, yeah you get in. Alright, whatever. Alright, no hard feelings, right? Yeah, yeah. Just so you know, I know the real reason. The real reason? Because every Friday I go to show and tug and get a lap dance by your fucking daughter, that's why.

You're a fucking shit from you, man. Really? That's why I'm getting laid off. That's not a deal with my fucking work. You know what? Grab your shit and you can fuck off my job. I am and get the wrong gun. I'm going to work.

You're just checks, really. So we fucking, guess where I'm going. That's the part we talked about. We were like, it's the savagest of burns, where he's like, yeah, you know I'm going to your daughter, right now, we're going to laugh at that. There's nothing he can do, because he's working. And I think you can do.

And we laugh about that, and we talk about that a bunch. And stuff like that, we send each other little videos like that like that you would like to get one of those videos. I would be so like Like disappointed if that was if I was had a friend who was a two-time selling cup champion on my favorite team And that was the level of conversation we were having rather than talking about you know hockey every time So you don't want to be friends with a guy you just want to talk hockey with. No, I want to get I want to hear his point of view and what he thought when certain things happened and his insight on this or that not like like videos that are on fucking TMZ and shit.

Fuck a world's dumbest to fucking revisit. Remember that show? It was untrue. Yeah, it was untrue. That's what that feels Fuck a world's dumbest to fucking revisit. Remember that show it was untrue? Yeah, it was untrue. Yeah. That's what that feels like. World's dumbest text. You're broke. Check this out, bro.

Oh, bro, that's savage, bro. Shit's lit. What are you talking about? You mean a trudge? Just fucking press the stick around and I'll fucking date of each other. I don't, but I saw you in the barrel. It just felt so natural.

I picked up my bottle at 38 texts when I wrote about a video. Oh, I saw this video. It's almost an iBike Comics type video. It's this Mexican cartel, and they've captured one of their enemies, right? And the enemy's nickname is Ghost Rider. So they're basically like, oh, you like Ghost Rider so much.

And they put alcohol, rubbing alcohol over his head and light it up. You basically see his face melt off and he's screaming and then he stops screaming. And you're like, okay, good. He's dead. But then he sits back up again. And like now he's like, he's got those big bug eyes and shit. And his entire head is inflamed I gotta say he does kind of look like ghost right a little bit. I mean that's true But I was like he's watching I just saw it just pop it. How can you keep watching pop the where?

Dark web How did you watch that man? I don't I didn't know what it was. Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm pretty dissensitized that kind of shit. I saw like even worse than that. I've been watching or I saw parts of the protests in Nigeria. Oh boy, you think the cops here, assholes? You've never seen, it's just carnage. It's like carnage because I guess they have to pay off the cops.

The cops are like, you pay us for safety and protection. And this is everybody. This isn't just like store owners and the shit that these guys are doing to these people. Like, that's a true fucked up society with the cops. You know? Do you ever mention me to Scott Gomez? I have. Yeah.

He knows you do a podcast with me. He does? He's a listener to Tom Steve's He knows you do a podcast with me? Yes. Has he listened to Tom Steve's? I know that he's listened to it yet. Now, would you want to be on a group text with these guys? Because sometimes you're going to get a video like that. I have to pretend that I'm fucking like, oh man, he fucking slayed that old ass.

Bro, no way. Oh, bro. Fucking it. Bro. Oh, man, we put my beer down. I'm spilling my beer and laughing so hard. Hold my beer. He's just a regular dude.

Yeah, definitely. He's actually too regular. He's a star. I mean, you want to be more like God like. Yeah, like I just would think that he would, I just would not think that he would waste time like finding videos like that and sending them to people. Yeah, that blows my mind. That blows my mind. You're right.

I mean, the amount of time you enjoy spending each other videos. We're always like, bro. Dude. Oh, yeah, I don't know. I think I thought it disappointed you. Okay. So how we would be if all of a sudden I just popped up on a three way?

No, I think the thing to do is like, maybe I get them on to call into the show and introduce you guys. And then you could, maybe you could have a side text where you just talk stats. Well, I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't go stats right away. I would buy my time before I got stalker like in terms of like trying to find out all all the dirt and all the things I like that never get out. You might have to accept some salmon in order to get the dirty details.

I would pretend that I eat. I was into salmon. I saw a parasite on him. Sorry, Scott. I saw a parasite on him. Sorry, Scott. Oh, wow. I'll see if I you know if he wants to come on maybe he could maybe you guys could discuss other than maybe maybe he's disappointed in maybe he's just playing dumb because he thinks that's what you do what you like he know that he I don't mean dumb like I know this but full and whole and like every day, no, I think he's, I think he's an authentic dude. He's think he's an average. He's a dude man.

He's just, he's, you know, I like guys like that. I like guys that are just like regular guy commonly referred to as dude bros. I'm always like, I don't know. I kind of like him. But do you want guys that you admire and respect to be everyday bros or do you want them to be a little bit more, um, special? I like variety and I'll tell you why. every day, Bros. or do you want them to be a little bit more special? I like variety and I'll tell you why.

Because I've reformed a nice little friendship with Mariana Rivera. And he is. Really? Yeah, we had him on dinner party. Can you film me in? He's a legend, Yankee Closer. Got to be, like, at least five time world champion. No, he's six.

Six? Six, like Tom Brady. No, I might, he's like Tom Brady. He, um, no, I might have that role. Tom Brady's got six rings. Well, he's the, yeah, he's, but he's like, I don't got that role. You take that to the bank soon to be seven. It looks like he's playing that good. I don't know if I told you he won won on my birthday. I really won on my birthday, no. We pretended it was my birthday again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was seven days early. So he is, so Mariano is like, he's definitely,

there's no videos going back between him. He's an angelic person, I heard. Yes. He's not gonna be sending you videos like that. Absolutely not. What about Ghost Rider? No, nothing like that. Could you send a Ghost Rider video to Gomez?

To Gomez? I would have sent it to Gomez. I would have sent it to anybody. It might be, it might be like, is the Mexican or Cartel, right? Yeah. Yeah, you want to send that to a Gomez. I don't want to send that to a Gomez.

Because that would be taken all sorts of things. Oh, yeah, it's all this Mexican, right? Yeah, that could be taken. Yeah, you might think like, yeah, you're pointing it out. Be like, what's wrong with you people or something? No, you know, he calls me Dickhead sometimes. I'll call you. He calls you Dickhead. Yeah, he'd be like, what's up, Dickhead? And I'll be like, you're pointing it out. Be like, what's wrong with you people or something? Nah, what do we do? You know, he calls me dickhead sometimes. I'll call you know. He calls you dickhead.

Yeah, he'd be like, what's up, dickhead? And I'll be like, you know, what's up, do you fake? He's dickhead now. Yeah. He calls you dickhead. Yeah, for how soon into the relationship? I mean, almost immediately. First time.

I was like, what's this dickhead? Oh, yeah, all right. It's just the way I call him. What do you call him? What's your, Mr. Gomez? Oh, yeah, all right. It's just the way I can call him. What do you call him? What's your? Mr. Gomez. No, I mean, I call them a douche, just stuff like that.

Like we just the way guys. How long even on me? 24 years, 25 years. And it's been in that 24 years. We've probably been texting just recently, maybe like four years. Took a while. I've never called you, DeKed. Even though I've never called you, DeKed. And it's been in that 24 years, we've probably been texting just recently in paper like four years. Um, it took a while.

I've never called you, DeKed, even like in a way of like, in that buddy way. You know, like, we don't have that kind of like, why don't we? Because you're more like Mariano than you are. No, that's not true. But does it seem sort of like almost passive aggressive in a way? Like a, not a weird weird like macho thing. Like I'm gonna show him a little bit more manly than you'll put you in your feminine place.

That's what I mean, I'm a comedian. I'm an after-and-why, I don't think he's thinking that I'm fucking feminine. Yeah, he used to be. Former, whatever, I got the medal. Yo. I think he's like that show. Oh, god. I don't mind being fucking made fun got the medal. Yeah. I think he's really like that show. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't mind being fucking made fun of the whole thing. I prefer it. I've always said, if your friends aren't calling you and asshole is something they don't like, you're not something to talk about. I don't think I've ever said that though. I don't think I've ever even fucking around with like, we got into like some back of fourth where it was like,

we were joking back of fourth where I said, oh come on you dickhead or come on douche bag You just don't use that verbiage I don't even know I'm a week a roll of tape on 10 years to tell Mike though This is all real shit. This is like place where I don't have that relationship with everybody like I don't talk to really like Murray I wouldn't be like

Sal and those guys don't you don't have that kind of playful Joe Joe no, I'm very close to them and I could say anything But I don't I don't I don't think I've ever sent like cold gatto a dickhead All right, like that. Where's that which I've been like is he everybody for me on the phone? Oh, yeah, yeah, what's a dickhead. Or like that, where's that? I've been like, is he already supposed to be on the phone with? Oh, yeah. Yeah. What's up, dickhead? People seem to take issue with me

not introducing Steve Bern last week, so I want to make sure that everyone knows that this is joking. I'm right for sure. I check so. I listen back, I'm like, what the fuck's a matter with you? I was so excited to talk to him,

I'm like, I see. Like anyone knows who the fuck it is. Is this Steve Allen? Yeah, no. All right. Oh, wait, I need your butts too, right? Yeah. These are my new soft ear buds. Yeah. I love with these are soft. Hello. Hi. Joe Gatto. Joey. Hey, what's going on guys? A fun long time no talk i don't know what they really miss you but he was really try to work together on some project

yet hey joe if i started with i started like affectionately there was nothing behind it like there was no anger behind it and i'd like refer to like affectionately is dickhead right like we don't do that at all like i we don't have that relationship where we're like what's up to spade what's up dickhead right

now you have the relationship with people i don't have it with anybody but i've seen you have that relationship with the like the firehouse guys that yeah yeah that's it exactly right so so so the macho guys get that no not the much of guys because it's just it's just certain people it's no less of a lane of a friendship than anything else. No, no, I mean, for a while, I had a term of a factor for my wife, especially which is my girlfriend,

I used to call a fat. Yeah, yeah, I think that's similar. Right, I think that's in it. I think that's in the vein, yeah. Yeah, because you don't want to get cold, dickhead or a fat, I don't think. Especially not in the same sentence. Yeah.

Walter doesn't like that me and a hockey player are affectionately ribbing each other. He doesn't get it. Oh, I get it. Oh, then what's the bad thing? I just don't understand why we never went that. We never took our relationship to that level. We can if you want, but I don't think it's better or worse. or worse It would be forced and definitely be not be it wouldn't feel natural though I would know you would just doing it because I complained about it

But all right, remember how I used to come to the store. I used to see I used to give you a big hug Yeah, and you would you tell me pandemic you said I don't really like it. Please stop doing that true Like five years pre-pandemic you were like I don't really like it I don't like it please stop doing it and I stopped you just don't have the relationship were you like getting hugged well no what's just a visionary you know it was coming that's why you made you stop five years where's I see gatta we hug all the time even for a pandemic well I don't see much in the head but I would hug him if I saw it yeah yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. So that's what I'm saying.

It doesn't mean I love you any less. I know, I know it doesn't, but it just, it doesn't take the sting, doesn't make the sting less hurtful though that like, you got what I've always dreamed of. Like, you were able to parlay your fame and celebrity into becoming friends with a fucking two-time Stanley Cup champion, which is something I always dreamed of. But let's say, because you're... And it's probably never gonna happen. I mean, look at the look how old I am now.

53. God, tomorrow. What really, we're not here to talk about how old Walters and how nobody wants to be his friend. No. No. Was it the crack to help? Like, what's going on? This is an intervention, Joe.

We need you to help out. Do I have to talk to a Walte-Sole? Like, I don't, Joe. Need you to help out? Do I have to start calling Walt A. Oh, my God. I'm not sure what's going on. It wouldn't hurt. We're here to talk about the dog father. My love of dogs, desserts, and growing up Italian by Joe Gatto.

Let me tell you. Are we still talking about that thing? Yeah, we're going to talk about it. That's great. Yeah. I wrote a book or the pandemic because i i was uh... shut down and that nothing to do and i was locked in home with the dog and i was like

i'm spending too much money on freedom i better make them turn a dollar that's what i do with bangerman and i had to get the uh... rate the cat over cat that would be a bad book that's been fucking flogged and put on the stroll for eight years now. So yeah, so you're sitting around and you're like, you know, I'm just going to write a book about my dogs. That's what you do. You're in a position where you can do that.

Like I think if I'm like, I'm going to write a book about my cats, people big, who gives a fuck? But they're essentially in the book. When you read it, there is such a love of I'm not sure which you love more the desserts or the dogs because it seems pretty cool Yeah, it's right down the middle. Yeah, it's dead. It's a dead tie for sure. I think so Yeah, I think I the whole project actually we just came out of bullshit with my cousin Plano You guys know my Plano and we were we were talking and I was I was talking about a program that we use for To design stuff

Adobe InDesign and he's like yeah, that's for books really and I was like oh, I said I about a program that we use to design stuff that Dolby InDesign and he's like, yeah, that's for books, really. And I was like, oh, I said, I never really did that. He said, you should do a book. And I was like, what do I do a book on? He's like, well, you like to give all these pictures of your dollars and they're funny stories. But don't mind you just do that.

And I was like, oh, okay, it's actually a pretty good idea. So he came over and we just like set up. The fun part of me was like the photo shoot in my house. Like that was a really fun day because like he came over and we had another friend come over to help us and and best he was here and the kids. And it was just like a really fun day doing each like a little setup with the dogs.

And they did so much better than I thought it telecame times with a cover. So in the cover they're all seated at the table. And I was like, you know what? I really don't want to have to try to photoshop this. Let me just try to, they listen to me. Let me just make them all sit at the table. And I was like, you know what, I really don't want to have to try to Photoshop this. Let me just try to, they listen to me. Let me just make them all sit at the dining room and say, I'm just putting a bunch of food on the table. And as you're going to imagine, it didn't work out well. So I had them in the Photoshop and it took me

like three days to get that picture right. Oh, wow. I didn't know that. It was funny about the two. It's just like, I didn't know about the book until it was published and out. Like, you would never like, oh, I'm writing a book. You were just like, oh, I have a book. And I was like, oh, whoa, what? And then it was, it was, it was, it was you gave me a copy right there.

It's awesome. I was really happy for you. Yeah. Well, thank you. You were really, that was, that was cool to do that. It was fun. It was fun to do. And like, it actually came out, but then I thought it was.

I didn't know how wide I was going to like try to like get behind you to push it. And, but then as I started doing it I actually was like oh this is kind of fun and and it came like I started coming better I had more to say than I thought in the beginning about it I thought it was just going to be more pictures than anything else and it actually you know both up to like a 55 page book where I thought it was just going to be like you know 20 pages of pictures and a couple blurbs.

I like that it's mostly about the dogs and you and you put your kids in there once in a while. I mean, I'm gonna go out the dog. You gotta, I mean, because I have a reputation that, you know, I can't have a lot of grow up older and then realize how much I've done without her. I'm not. I'm not. Do you make desserts like are you a dessert-making guy

or do you just like that's important? I like the volume. I have I have an in that local bakery and there is there's only one there's only one dessert that I make that's in the book and it's my grandma's ice box cake and I actually put the recipe in the book because it's super simple. It's just like everybody has a version of it I think in the sandwich a graham cracker crust would like chocolate pudding, yellow, and then cool whip. It's like a layered pie thing. My grandma used to make it for birthdays for her kids because they were so poor that they couldn't afford a real birthday cake and it's super cheap to make.

And it's got past down generation to generation, so that's the only one I really make because you can't buy that anywhere. My mother used to make that around Christmas, but I'll tell you what ingredients she did not use. She actually only used these chocolate, these real thin chocolate cookies and cool whip that was it. She didn't put any of that in. Yeah that was it. She wasn't really known for her baking. That's amazing, that's stacking. That's assembling. She's great with legos and desserts. She's great with Legos and Dazards. Well, I noticed in the book that he said, I can't remember which dog it was, but he had an agent, like a dog agent to get him some work. Canole.

Canole actually had a doggy modeling agency for a while. Now you've often said that your dog should be models. I have a French bulldog. And I really, really think though that he could have been the it dog, you know, like the it dog of the of the of the, you know, how like you get internet fame and do all that stuff. But then I told my wife I was like, you know, what, look how happy is, you know, not having to do all that stuff, though. I really want to change his life like, you know, and put him into the limelight like that or or should I just let him be a dog and let him be, you know, just Bathed in our affection and our love without out not that saying that you did that, but I'm you know

He just didn't want to exploit this dog like you have obviously. No I straight up make canola pay. This is a true story. This is a true story. I got canola. It's the only dog I bought right? So I bought canola. Me and Bessie, which is like I love this by very great. Well buy this dog I pay. I think I paid $1,600 for her. Okay I had a puppy store. I get her home and all of a sudden she does this thing call her a reverse sneeze? You might know it as well, if I don't know if you know it. But they start, it looks like they're gaffing for breath. I do, and it's all these weird, small puppies

those dogs do it, because their lungs don't develop correctly and they can't really sneeze, and it looks like they're choking. I thought she was gonna die right there. So we take them to the vet. The vet doesn't scan, she's like, yeah, this dog has it long, they've had 10-year-old cannoli.

She was like, she was like a four months old maybe. take them to the vet. The vet doesn't get the stoke as long as it's a 10-year-old canole. She was like a four-month-old maybe. So I was like, okay, that's not good, right? So we ended up having to do $4,000 worth of surgery on her in the first year that I had her. So I'm in a whole 56-hunge, right? So I'm like, all right, I said the best they said, this stoke's got to make me money before it. And look who we do, it's really cute. And at the same time in Joker's, we did this animal thing and we had an agent there. And so I introduced Bessie in the agent and that's how it got hooked up. And all of a sudden, Kanali was like, she was in this Hannah Anderson,

which is a kid clothing-worn commercial and she was in a target-ed. Then it just got too much for Bessie where she was like, all right, she made up for the money. I'm not going to these auditions I the chapter for me though that I'm not fucking around. I'm not I'm not just saying this Brought tears of my eyes was the Zipoli. Zepoli. I'm not

I'm not even out somebody's these are very exotic names If I tell you that play citadel exotic yeah Yeah, but that story was was That really just made my eyes well up because it's such an awesome story. Depths, Depths was like super super cool that he just like he turned the corner and she became like best friends my daughter became best friends with Eppily and I really believe that's the dog that made my daughter, a dog person, like I saw it just happen. And they were like besties. And she should be like, you know, pet them

and want to kiss them good night. And then when she was like three years old, like two years old, two and a half, I guess, and three years old, and when should we add them? So it was like so funny to see this little kid actually recognize that she's a part of a pack. Cause there's like four dogs are on the ranch and everything looked at one of them.

Is that one? You know? Yeah, you got three sweet pictures of these two hanging out in here. And we made we made some coin off mesquine too. Oh yeah, yeah, I put them to work. Yeah, we got a big part of a stage show. Yeah, stage show. That's right. We did a whole segment on that train wreck. I mean, this dog is a picture of the dog in the book, like 40-foot high projected in like a readers and stuff like that.

It's a hell of a story for that dog that's where he ended up. I was sad when Michigan guys, but you do this thing where you adopt dogs on their last legs. Yeah, I get them on the way out. Yeah, and you know. I got three now. I got three now that are on the way out. So first time we have more than one. I got three now that are on the way out.

So first time we have more than one. I used to have a, I'm up to eight. I used to have five. They'd be four healthy young ones and then the fifth rotating spot. First was Michigan, then Zeppelin, and then we filled the Whipin' Yoli. And then, so now Pinoli still around. And then we caught Wendell these two Panacotta, Panacotta, and Panacotta. Put them together, it's Panacotta, the two sisters.

So I had, I basically had this, inanna Cotta, Panna and Cotta. Putting together it's Panna Cotta, the two sisters. I had it. I basically have this, in my upstairs bathroom, it's basically turned into a senior center. We call them a golden girl. And they just run around, they like own the house up there. The three of them. So I was just waiting for one of them to get a move on. So I could get my numbers down.

I think this is, you have punched your ticket though to heaven though for what you're doing though. I think this is, I'm not fucking around when Q told me that, what, that you do that for dogs. I mean, there's got to be, like, you are going to be blessed when your time is up for what you're doing now. It's amazing. I'm looking at it so impressive and it took my breath away because it's truly amazing that what you're doing for dogs who nobody probably would be able to emotionally or, you know, to do that though.

And so it's really an amazing thing you're doing. No, that means a lot, man. Thanks, that's all. I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to live with eight dogs, I have two and I've tried to convince the family that like let's just get one more and they maintain it would be an insane asylum to bring one more dog and how do you do it with eight dogs?

I mean, I would love to because I feel that, you know, the more the merrier and it would just be, you'll make the house even more filled with love and all the... Yeah, it really is like it hits a fever pitch, but it's like a pack mentality. Like, my, this God, like my mom with air, she's the second dog with our first rescue. She's my favorite, although you know it, but she's like the pack leader.

So like wherever she goes, they go. So you're not the pack leader? I'm in her. Oh, I definitely am, but if I'm not here, she's in charge. But if I'm like, you know, if I get her to do something, I'm like, all right, outside and she starts walking, they all follow. Go to the room because I have a little,

I converted like a pantry in the house, and when I moved in, I don't really need that much room. I converted into a dog room, so I could put them all in there. Like if we have somebody coming to the house, it's doing work or you know, when the landscape is coming out, I run all over and stuff.

So it's like a nice room for them to go also I'll say room and the logo in the room and stuff like that. So the more you get, like they just fall in line. As soon as the polling came home, he's my puppy now. He, I only have him maybe, like I probably have about 10 months or whatever. And like four months, he was right in, like three, four months, he was like some maybe, like I'm like, I probably have about 10 months or whatever.

And like four months, he was right in, like three, four months, he was like, right in with everybody. No house trained, all this stuff. So. Did you go up with dogs? I had one dog for 16 years, actually. We had this one little mud named midnight that my dad used to open the door in the morning, let it out, and then it would come home to dinner. Like my yard wasn't gated, like my like you remember, you had like a whole bunch

of hedges like the door got a whole pumped in and it used to walk the streets it would come home and at one time my dad was coming home from work and I said where you going he are we so many took we had these big like landscape and like chunks of like rock and stuff around the house and I see my dad he was a big dude he picked chunks of rock and stuff around the house. I see my dad. He was a big dude. He picked up a rock and he was walking down the street. I said, what are you doing?

He was like, I'm in a night sleeping in a pothole on Alba Road. I got to put this rock in. I could just give him a kill. My dog was napping. I was going to say a pothole on a thoroughfaire on an island. And he just dumped this big rock and instead of like, I think. Oh man, that was the 80s for dogs as well as children because that's how my parents do it too So I can open the door and they'd be like go out come out tonight before the lights go out in the street lights

Yeah Exactly right I have my own sweet dog story might bring tears to your eyes well all right Let's say when I when I was young About 10 years old. I was really, really close to my grandmother. In fact, I would go so far as to say before sage came around, this is the only female that I'm like, this person loves me. No guys, up to that point, but just female.

Yeah. So when I was 10, like nine into 10, she got cancer. Nobody explained that to me. Like I didn't know what was going on. And she died. So she had this dog named Chloe. And this is what I had not thought of this in the longest time until I was reading your book.

And then I was like, oh, Chloe looks like these dogs, the like all white and puffy and shit. So my aunt took Chloe, the dog. And within a week or something, they found the dog at the river's edge, drown. I guess, you know, because they lived very, like literally a calf a block away from the river. So when my mother told me, which I don't know if she had to tell me that she wanted to. I think she may have

wanted to. Her explanation for why Chloe was dead was because she probably missed my grandmother and drowned herself on purpose. And I didn't think about it until the other day, like I said, when I was reading your book and it's just like, well, I missed my grandmother with the suggestion that I should drown myself. Yeah, she's like making a suggestion that she's baking a pie, just layering chocolate cookies and whipped cream. But like, maybe you should go play by the river. Tides going out. You should flip first. I thought back, I told Mary Mary Bethan she was like, is

it any wonder you are the way you are? Mystery Spile for you. So does this now that someone goes to charity, right Joey? Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I did a autographed hardcover drive that I'm doing for charity. You got a hardcover of this too? Yeah, limited edition, I only did a print run of it for it because it's on Amazon for the paperback, but they don't do hard cover. So I was like, oh, I'll put together a charity drive to help support a bunch of the shelters

that I do. So the five out of outline in the book will get the proceeds from it. And yes, that hard cover charity drives what I'm doing now. Do you think you'll do a follow-up now? No, I do think I don't know about another dog book unless I get another significant number of dogs, but these two aren't any yet, Pan and Cotta, so they've started me off. What's your map? I see a number.

If you had to be like, you had to put a cap on it. I can't do any more old ones. I think the old ones are capped out at three, and I can't do any more old ones. I think the old ones are capped out at three. And I can't do any more puppies because it's just a lot. They get like churvy and stuff. If I could find a nice three year old four year old, I might go to 10, but I don't think I will. I think I'm good today. How did you convince the misses that like you were like, we're just going gonna have eight dogs? So you got it you got it all wrong, but

You got to miss the Ellie at that you got a flipping reverses I will say the only dog cue was there to you with air was in Vegas They only though that I really brought home with spamoni we were doing a me and cue with doing a interview at the uh... i heart media festival in vegas and there's this company which is a genius marketing a lot of pop and they invite celebrities to come and take pictures with these adoptable puppies and they all post on their instagram and they have to

understand the thought get it and people see these pictures and they have their adoption rate is through the rubets really a smart thing so we're doing the interview in spamoni came over and fell asleep on my lap all of the doing it and I was like oh I'm gonna I'm gonna take this dog and the guy was like oh that's not how it works and I said the cute said to the guy I could go no that's how it works if you're a joke guy

he didn't see what I saw which is that dog was going home with you yeah for sure for sure yeah that's the only one I could say well end the polling and I could really we he didn't see what i saw which is that dog was going home with you yet for sure for sure that's the only one i could say well and the polling and i could really we talk about the polling but moneys the only one that was like me i was like i'm i'm getting this dog and i'm coming home with it and we just had a had their son they're the same age they're both the you remote five months old and spamoni when i got her was five month old and i walked in to the hotel room because we were meeting them in

vagus there's my son like she had just traveled with both kids from Los Angeles from New York to meet me for the weekend because we were filming in LA and I walk in with Spamoni this puppy and I'm like look what I got and the rage that was on her face. She started it. That's the starting. That's right. I can't, you know, she can't walk away from that. She definitely started it. So Walt, could you just get a dog and ask for forgiveness rather than permission? Or have you blown it already? If I did that, I would, I could definitely swing that. I can make that work. But it would be probably a good month of hell though, of like, well, you know, she would be mad, but she would never be like, you know, not keep it, but she would be, you know, pretty upset though.

If I just wanted to be mad at the dogs, she would be mad about you being in the decision. Making that decision and putting three dogs into her life, you know, you know, I got a blustin and I got a French bulldog, so they're both basically the same size very small dogs, you know Yeah, yeah, just adding a third one. I think would just just make the house a loony bin But I would love it though. I love the loony bin aspect of it, but yeah, not everybody else does Sure, so where can you get your book, Joe? Is it, I imagine Amazon? Yeah, these places just to go to gattlepups.com. It has the links to everything.

It has the link to the charity book. It has the link to Amazon one. And if you search Joe Gatto on Joe Gatto book on Amazon, you get like 9,000 results of like everything from in practical joke is madlibs. Like I'm not the mom that he's a search i just a set of ghetto pups dot com and the thesis way to get that's easiest way to get it and what was the name of the charity that you would

most likes to see people send money to here what was it was at all with my i i like love pop but i mean at all i think the one that is the most help is in new york Control Animal Care Center and NYCACC. They're in the book, too, so I got two of my dogs, start two foes. Because they're the ones that have to kill dogs. If nobody comes to get them. So the more support they get, the better.

The more lives you could save. The rest of them are all little kills, so I always drive people to help you. Every city has a, you know, I know you have listeners you yet any of that every city has a you know what you know i know you have a small over and every city has animal care center control center and that's always right to be able to so they can literally say that's why that they can't what's the money does it seem like jose positioning himself to be the new bob barker yes

i don't know why i do it i always love the skinn microphone. I'll tell you. What do you think? Walt's any more questions? Any more dog questions? I want to get a dog when I get a new house. I want to get a dog. I was thinking about a bloodhound. Yeah, because I'm like if they needed help solving crimes and they called me, how fucking awesome with that. You're getting up there mean you're getting nuts. What's it? You're getting up there. You're getting up there.

You should get a border colline in case you're full down a well or something. You can get a well. Save me boy. Can you still that well? I'm not saying. It's a very tightness week. This guy in a well, Steve. Somebody put a rock in it so he can't fall in.

That's exactly right. All right, buddy. Well, thank you so much for having me. Hey, it was great talking to you guys. Thanks so much for having me as always. You guys are the best. I'll talk to you in 12 hours, buddy. That was good. And I'll talk to you later, Brian and Ethel. Give me a call when I'm pd.

TLA, Gersh Bank. I'm in five. I love you, bud. Wow. That's great. Yeah. Gersh Bank. I just say it would be so unnatural at this age

to start that up, though, do you think? I have never, like you say, with the fire department, it's a camaraderie. It's a brotherhood. Oh, talking that way? Yeah.'t have never really had that except for like back in high school like playing on a uh... like a sports team but it wasn't really like that

yeah you have to have that personality you have that that special relationship that well you know he was been lucky enough to find and the state life yet i don't have You know, Q has been lucky enough to find this late in life. Yeah, it doesn't happen that often. So it is. I mean, I went to an old boys high school.

And then I never really worked with women until Prattal Jokers. It's like, I've always kind of just been dude growing my entire life, you know what I mean. So it's my language. So what I like, do you think if I came across as too much of a fan it would just turn them off Well imagine this you're texting with them all he wants to talk about is comic book man That would be okay because it's him though I would give I would tell him all the dirt all the stuff that we're not even revealing on behind you Counter and we reveal a lot yeah, even some of the stuff that I kept back from even that, I would even reveal to Scottie Gomez.

But then, it's my turn then. If I tell him all the dirty, tautry stories on this set of convoc, I want to hear what happened in the locker room, what happened on the road? What happened when? Is he a married guy? No, no, I don't even want to, I'm not talking about that. I know your mind automatically went to that. I'm talking to you.

I'm just talking about, like, you know, just stuff that, like, we're not privy to us fans. I don't care about, you know, the wild, crazy nights. Yeah. I want to hear about, like, you know, like, the jokes that Dano told, or you. He does this thing. You'll probably like it. Follow his Instagram, dude. He does these like, look at him. He's awesome. He does, he's like stories where he tells stories

about his career and like about other players and stuff like that. He fucking dude, he literally looks like Gomez from fucking the Adams family. And he does, he dresses up, like his hair over, he puts on a smokin' jacket. Is that what he's going for? Trying to be Gomez for? I don't know if he's trying to be Goulton, but that's the look he's going for a look

and he's nailing it. I could be his Morticia. Yes. Bargit him's dress. Yeah, his Instagram is Scotie Seagomez. He should go. I could play it cool, Tell him. I can play.

I can be, you know, even keeled and I can tell the bro jokes. Uh, look, see, he even takes, look at that. Can you? He takes, um, he takes polls. He's like, who do you want to hear a story about? Oh, this is the shit I'm talking about. Yeah. He'll tell a story about Bobby Holik or Claude Lemieux.

Yeah, I'm telling you, it's such an entertaining Instagram, man. You should go on and like watch his show. It's called Scottie's House. You know, I want what you want. I mean, I want what you got though. I want the personal story, not like with the story that he's telling fucking 3,000 people on Instagram. But he doesn't, but the personal story he tells me

is about a guy whose dad fired a stripper's wallet. Like that's what we're talking about. Yeah, only because he knows you know, you'll have no frame of reference for the other story. That's not true. You don't know. If you tell you a Bobby Ho-Leak story, you're gonna be like sitting on the edge of your seat.

Yeah. He's a friend, bro. I'm hearing that shit. Look, there he's in fishing in Alaska. Look at him. I know. a friend, bro. I hear in that shit look there is some fishing in Alaska. Look at him I know That's the that if there was one devil. I swear to God. I'm not gonna get something done now All the years I was following him if there was one devil I was like did I dream of becoming friends with yeah, it was Scott Gomez

I didn't tell you that before but it did wow what about him? Because I saw him on the interviews. He's funny. With Stan Fischler. Yeah. You could tell him this, that I saw him on the videos with Stan Fischler and I was like, that dude has a sense of humor.

Because he would pretend to hate Stan and stuff like that. No, he would just be, like, he would just say shit that made no sense at times. He would look at him funny. He would be like, he would just be, never conned the sending or mean, but I could just tell he was having fun it's dude has fun and this guy has a sense of humor

i always thought it would be me and it turned out to be you but you could have that's a problem is like very early on in comic book and when we when we played with those guys you could have easily like and they've got a crook or one of his number to text with them all think that those guys were there for their for their paycheck that that afternoon we went up to see the doubles They read it. They read it. They were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like,

they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like,

they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like,

they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like,

they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were like, they were'm not a halfway meter, you know. No half measures for welfare. I'm not just not, I'm not built like that. I need someone to come all the way and then, and then, and then, and then win me and, and woo me.

Nothing wrong with that. And, and then, but not Scottie Gomez though. No. No, I would, yeah, I'd make an exception. First date, I should. I'll see what I could do. All right. All right. But I don't want it to be weird though.

I don't tell them I said this shit. OK. Well, he may start listening to you. Yeah. So I mean, I don't know. There's just like, like I said, it's true. Like I always thought that that would be my dream, bromance. Yeah, really?

It really was. Like, yeah, I've watched him and I'd watch the interviews and I'd be like, we could be friends. I know we could if our world's just- Well, the world's just- But now seeing this with- If it makes you feel bad, I could tell you, it's fucking sweet.

It's so sweet. It's so sweet. You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve. You fucking douche, you're a real douchebag. You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve.

You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve. You could tell him, Steve. You can do sure a real douchebag.