Tell Em Steve-Dave - #460: Fat Tit

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

Bry discovers he may not be a breeze of a friend. Should platonic buddies breed? Curse of the parrot....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The vritts are really getting, you know, a little, of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit disfigurement is worth to provide his lovers with pleasure Tell him Steve Dave hello welcome to this week's edition of tell him Steve Dave We doggy is we got a whole bunch of show for you today. Don't we cue we do we doggy Yeah, there you go. I knew that would get you excited Nothing more exciting though than what Walt is about to say Christmas is right around the corner cue. Oh, yeah, it is and the most beloved Christmas tradition and Tom Steve Dave town has got to be the Christmas pod the Tom Steve Dave Christmas pod. Is there another Christmas tradition? No, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, and we're going back to basics. Love this. No video, no green screen, no costumes. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:01:48 No... Viggin' Chuck can tell the story of walking. He did fell asleep. Well, it's gonna be all audio, and it's gonna drop on Black Friday. Wow, that is old school. Going back to the tradition of Black Friday drop. Oh, man, camp. And on the Patreon.
Starting point is 00:02:06 So you can get it two ways. Oh, people sublime on fan camp. There's some people who aren't on Patreon and that really wanted to have it released on Bandcamp. So we've done that for the last couple of years, but really trying to go and recapture that enthusiasm and that like that starry-eyed you know innocence that we had in the very first Christmas episode because it's just us
Starting point is 00:02:31 you mean when I was like does anyone have more pain killers remember those days from the original Christmas episode it was just us and Ming and Sunday Jeff yeah so we're bringing back Ming and Sunday Jeff and two more people to the table Get them because you can't have Christmas Yeah, and and my my new friend Tom Tom's wooly is gonna be there too Mary Beth feels that there's very bad feels that there's a real daddy love me rivalry between Get them and Tom why Well, I did.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Did you have an episode here, Q? Say that. No, she saw it. When she was here, she saw it. It's obvious. Yeah, and I think Tom's winning. Yeah, because sometimes even when I cut the show too, I'll just play out loud and open the headphones on. Because Tom doesn't irritate you ever, right?
Starting point is 00:03:18 Not at all. Not once. Where is... Yeah, but I don't spend a lot of time with Tom. You know, he just pops in for the Sunday Jeff episodes. Little more, he'd annoy me. I mean, it's more than likely he probably would if we spent a lot of time, everybody does.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Sure, sure. So it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary. Wouldn't mean I disliked him if I found him annoying. Yeah. I mean, everybody in my life, I find that, I find him annoying from time to time. You just deal with that, that's called being a friend. So you would say that you find him annoying from time to time? from time to time. You just deal with that. That's called being a friend. So you would say that you find getting them annoying
Starting point is 00:03:47 from time to time? From time to time. Sometimes when he's great. But mainly he's great. Yeah. It's good to hear. I don't know if you'd have that perspective about getting him. Oh yeah, I mean.
Starting point is 00:03:56 He seems so put upon all the time. Not, no, yeah. I mean, I might just do that just for the sake of the podcast. But more often than not, I really don't have any feelings at all. Yeah, Christmas Kist on Black Friday. Get Kist. You can try to bring some of the old school Christmas joy that we probably need now more than ever in 2020. I love it. I'm excited. Yeah. Do you think people will be more excited about this Christmas than Christmas is before just because 2020's been so shitty? I hope not. I don't want them to
Starting point is 00:04:39 put a lot of... I mean in general just like the general. Yeah, I think there may be some expectations, but I really don't expect too much because, you know, it'll be just as, you know, just as a... It's gonna be the same show. Yeah, it's gonna be everyone you're gonna do after all this time. I mean, how many episodes? I mean, I don't know if anybody's done this many Christmas specials. No, yeah. Any form of entertainment. This is what could be a level of an erroneous? professionals in any form of entertainment. We were in a double figure. A level thinner owner?
Starting point is 00:05:05 Yeah, I mean, what can you do? What new things can you strip mine at this point? There's nothing left. I don't know if anybody has any, well actually by the time this goes out, they will be already be up. They'll be recorded, yeah. But there's some new tricks in the bad queue.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Yeah. We want to reveal them now, but, you know. Now we need people to sign up. Yeah. Bandcamp and on Patreon. I do like that tradition of going to bandcamp and seeing the cover work and it's at number one. I like seeing that. I also like seeing people sign up to Patreon. patreon.com slash tell them, Steve, Dave. God damn it, we have a lot of shit up there. Oh my god. I mean, there's so much content up there. Now, I'm not positive of this, but like, say you sign up
Starting point is 00:05:49 today, you have access to every video. You should, yeah. Well, it's depending on if you're in a video tier year. Right. Like, if you join up to the $10 tier, you're gonna have access to everything. Join up to the $5 tier, you have access to a whole shitload of stuff, but not everything now.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Right. Almost everything. God damn it. That's dealin' podcasting. It almost everything. That's dealing with podcasting. It really is a good deal. Because you also get all the merch you send out too. If you're in a gift here, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome, man. Fucking Netflix is raising their prices and they don't send me anything.
Starting point is 00:06:19 I'm not going to Netflix hats in the mail. Really they're raising their prices? I heard, yeah, they're doing another bump. They probably have to after that cuties debacle. They make billions of dollars a month. Billions. How do they need to raise this? Bandwidth. Bandwidth. But they make billions. You just see how much we pay in bandwidth Q. It's obscene. Oh really? Oh my god. And that's why when people on Patreon are like, why can't we have the video? It's like because it costs so much money. The production of the video.'t we have the video? It's like because it costs so much money.
Starting point is 00:06:45 The production of the video, the hosting of the video. I make a request, anybody out there who works for Vimeo that listens to Tom Steve Dave, you know, if you can work something out, you know, maybe you can get a Tom Steve Dave lunchbox. Yeah, maybe. Or a lamp. Or a pussy.
Starting point is 00:07:02 You know, aosies are sweet. Yeah. If you have anyone out there who got an in with Vimeo, let us know because they're raping us. Are they? Yeah, it's insane. They want us to pay 10 times more than what we've paid. What?
Starting point is 00:07:16 Yeah. 10 times more than what we've paid in the last two years because of the amount of bandwidth we're using. They say it's crazy what we're using in bandwidth. Which is good in a way, but also terrible and a financial way. 10 times more than what we pay. 10 times. That's why I'm like, hey man, if anybody out there works for Vimeo, we'll keep it a secret if you focus up. And I'm sorry, but you know how good
Starting point is 00:07:36 the fucking shit has to be that we're able to keep doing this and it just becomes more and more like we just need more and more bandwidth. It speaks to the quality of it, I think, right? People wanna see more. And that's not why we're not going with video for the Christmas kiss, you know. That was definitely not right, we're not doing video.
Starting point is 00:07:56 This is where we're in the old chat to go fuck himself. We're too proud to call it back. It's definitely not because we're paying a scene amount of money to Vimeo, you know. See, I had the same idea. I was like, wow, be so nice if we don't have to go through the whole rigmarole of the Christmas thing. And then you almost immediately texted me and was like, hey, I didn't know this was your ulterior motive. I was thinking the same thing. It would be nice to just a couple of us sit there and just, you know, like it doesn't have to be a six hour extra of a cancer. And I just think it'll be nice to have your drop on on
Starting point is 00:08:26 black Friday, like midnight on Thanksgiving night. I mean, that is that's bringing back something that I think will make people's eyes water. When they hear this right now, I'm thinking hopefully, I'm building it up. It definitely will. There's no doubt about it. Did you guys see Borat?
Starting point is 00:08:44 I did. What think you like it I thought there was I thought there was a couple parts that made me smile. I didn't really laugh out loud though No in the whole thing now. I thought the girl was so fucking good as to almost out borat borat Hey, she stole the movie from she really did right? She was flawless Unbelievable how how she maintained yeah, I stole the movie from it. She really did, right? She was flawless. Unbelievable how she maintained. Yeah, I liked the movie. I liked it. I don't think it hit the highs of the first one.
Starting point is 00:09:13 But it did do that same thing that Bill and Ted did for me, which was like, it's kind of cool seeing this guy again after all this time. You know, I'm that age now, where you get older. It used to be better. But I really, I like seeing Borat where you get all the views to be better. But I really, I like seeing Borat again. I like the storyline they did. I think they pulled off something spectacular. I like that they changed the tactics of the movie.
Starting point is 00:09:34 Wasn't about making other people look stupid. Like, you know, like even the two Trump guys that he lived with came off really likable and nice. Like he didn't try and roast them and stuff like that. Those two guys that had shacked up with there in the past. I mean, there was moments where they definitely put, put, put, put, put, put, put, but when Borat needed them, not when Borat needed them, like, they were there for them and they went up to his daughter and pleaded with his daughter for them and said, like, they were invested in him and wanted to help them. And I was like, to me, that makes them kind of likeable, I thought.
Starting point is 00:10:06 I felt that, like, I loved that Ali G show, that was on the FBO. I thought that was like, unbelievable. I'd never seen anything like it. I just fell in love with it. But I know I'm a minority here, but I didn't really like Borat, the first movie. And I felt like the same kind of feeling from the second one too was just kind of like it's interesting and it definitely kept my interest but I never really left like where I was like oh my god that is so fucking awesome the the Ali G show right version
Starting point is 00:10:36 well Ali G was so funny he was just he was awesome yeah but you know I mean it's uh definitely uh I mean it had to do fucking amazing numbers, right? Streaming. I think so. I think it did really well. Yeah. It was funny. It was, I thought it was funny.
Starting point is 00:10:49 I thought she was so good, then that she justified the existence of that movie to me. She's got to have a huge career after this, right? She should. I mean, she, as long as it's in cringe, I mean, if you can do cringe humor, you are one of the most confident people on earth, right? I mean, you look at that same, like Nathan for you or Boi. With Julie Annie, right? Where he pulls her into the hallway and they have an argument and he's arguing with his
Starting point is 00:11:16 daughter in the hallway and Julie Annie's right there. I'm like, this girl's 24 years old. This is how talented she is. She is playing a character who's playing a character and she has the wherewithal to keep it together while dooping Giuliani and do whatever she's doing as Giuliani and lying to him and then getting in there and she's still in character with her father in the hallway and then goes back into the scene with Giuliani and seduces him. I'm like, well do you know that wasn't filmed later.
Starting point is 00:11:48 It was right there. He just pulled the puller into the to the thing there. Give it. How do you know that? I mean, I mean, I you could be right. I just don't remember. Oh, I certain that these all these films, all these scenes were filmed in sequential order. I think so because it was still in the hotel room with Juliani. But it was one one camera where did they follow her, follow her in. I can't read. I mean, they could just go into the hallway and shoot that scene at Any point though after Juliani's gone maybe but it was in the it looked to me like it was the same room I don't know me, you know either way Everything she did was fucking great. I
Starting point is 00:12:14 Like she she maintained the character throughout really tough situations Maybe you know because I don't believe that they ran out of the hotel room and they stopped in the alley and they had that You know they had that real nice. No, no, no that no, that I had to be filmed at a different point in a day. I agree. But the Giuliani stuff, it just seemed like they were in the room at the same time with them. Got you. But even if they weren't, it was, it was, she was so good.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Giuliani and his camper pretty annoyed about the whole like being like lying back on the bed and he was tucking in his shirt, but it looks like he's jerking off. I don't know what he was doing. I don't know what he was doing. I don't know what he was doing. It appeared like he's, because he had a shirt out, it looks like he's tucking in a shirt. But to me, that's not the point.
Starting point is 00:12:53 The point is everything that came before that, where he's touching her back, he touched her hip. He's like, and it's like enough, like how old do you think Giuliani is? He's 70s, right? 70, at what point are you allowed to just manhandle women and it's like well he's an old guy I don't think there is a point that you could do that so there's no hard fast
Starting point is 00:13:14 age that has to be it's up to each guy well look I think that no matter what what am I old enough to manhandle you I want to know wanna know. I think it's more his position, he should. But did he, I mean, look, it was weird seeing the watch. I felt like, oh my God. They had to be just like beyond like disbelief that he did this, right? When they're trying to get them and they get them and he does all this fucked up shit,
Starting point is 00:13:38 they had to be like, like, this is like getting Moby Dick. I don't know, but what did he, like my thing is like, if you take the fact that it's Juliannie out of it, I'm like What did he do that was that he wasn't touching his dick? He looked like he was touching his dick. That's not even the part I think. They show it from three different angles. They restart the footage. That's why it looks like his hands going and coming.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Is he lying on a bed? He should have done it. I'm saying that right there is like, I've done a couple interviews for some documentaries that kept me right. Never once on a long, and to a good, and to a bad, yeah, bro.
Starting point is 00:14:12 It is weird, they did the same thing with Ron Paul where he's sitting on a bed and what's his name. Was it Bruno? Coming on to Ron Paul. I think it was Bruno. Yeah, it was Bruno. Did you see Bruno?
Starting point is 00:14:22 I did, all I hated that one. I hated Bruno. I hated that one. Yeah, that one was even worse than the two-bore-out movies. You didn't like Bruno? I did, all I hated that one. I hated Bruno. I hated that one. Yeah, that one was even worse than the two boring movies. You didn't like Bruno? What was it? Oh, it was so just like, I was so sick of the character. I'm smarter than you.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah. That one is a little too much in your face. I mean, there's funny shit in it. And your buddy Paul Abdul came off, not looking great. Oh, I thought she looked came off. She used to be Mexican as a fucking foot. She was clearly sitting on him or just in a situation. But how was it presented to her? I'm sure it was presented to her like this is what these guys do. The he's human furniture. Would you sit on? Yeah, Paul
Starting point is 00:15:03 Abdul comes in for an interview in some very fancy mansion, like some big mansion and Bruno's I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:11 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:19 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry going on? I guess I'm supposed to do this, but it's like your poll app, do it, I'll be like, how about doing that? Yeah, I remember, that's how little I remember the movie.
Starting point is 00:15:29 I just remember not digging in though. But what are you gonna say? Like why would you not sit on it? If that guy's making the choice to be that furniture, I don't know, I think there's a personal choice you can make. You don't have to sit on another human being, especially a Mexican guy dressed as a gardener. Now if it's some fucking rich waspie mother fuckers,
Starting point is 00:15:47 you know, then okay. Well, it's racist, then. Of course, it's racist. What, you kidding me? All I know is like, if there's somebody who's, who's all their life, I'm feeling somebody is fucking human furniture at their. I will, you know what?
Starting point is 00:16:01 I'm gonna talk about this. I have here's the case. I'm applying. You got it at Burrow. Oh, what's that? You got it at Burrow. I want you know what I'm gonna talk about this I have the king some applying You got it at burrow remember that remember that couch company that We tried so hard to win them back to them in got them trended got it trended them on Twitter And they still were like fuck off. They can't take a joke burrow. Yeah, well now look at you. You're out of business. Are they? Can't take a joke, bro. Yeah, well, now look at you. You're out of business.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Are they? No. I'm out of business. But yeah, I do that. I've seen it was hard to watch. It was like, come on. It was just cringey from beginning to end. You know, he's like, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:16:34 And that's the thing. It's wise to go into any situation with a female thinking, like, they're not going to like me. They're not going to. Guys get one over very easily with a little bit of flirtation. I guess especially the older you get because you're like somebody likes me, somebody who doesn't look like me.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Yeah, basically me. Yeah, a female version of me. I'm not gonna tell how desperate though people are for, they will fucking lose their mind if someone gives them attention though. They'll do things that like, you know, they'll just get caught up in it, you know, especially he looks like the dude in Raiders of the Lost Ark when his face is melted. Like, like right before all the blood starts to see better that guy's face, that's what
Starting point is 00:17:21 he looks like. Yeah, it's like you're the president's attorney. Like, don't go into a bedroom with a girl. If he's saying don't I don't know. I don't know. He married his cousin. Because what are we saying? If he is single, he's not fucking supposed to go into a room with a woman who's got interest in him. If it's in that situation, just cover your ass. Just cover your ass and beat me. Of course. Of course. Be sure. Yeah, don't roll around. But take the cameras out of the situation.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Take the cameras out of the situation. Like, like, what is he supposed to do if some pretty girl is showing him interest and is like, why don't you come have a drink in my room? Uh, mate, once the cameras go dark and you're not being recorded sure. So then it's just about public perception. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I got a story story here I want to talk to you guys about. If you don't mind. I don't know. There's this new thing on the rise. It's called platonic co-parenting. Cool. You know, especially with with the lockdown now, you know, people are not willing to wait for the one, the quote unquote one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:25 So now people are looking to find people to have a baby with and then just share the child with and they don't, but they're not in love. Or just having the baby the old fashioned way? I think that you have two options, the old fashioned way and the new scientific way. Stay safe. Let's talk about this.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Would you be willing to have a child with me? How about me? Not even me. Your ex-husband, not even me. Jesus. You know, you're divorced woman. Next to you now, she's onto the Poltonic parenting. Now, this, this article that I saw
Starting point is 00:19:01 paints it in a very like, you know, this is the new way of moving forward like this. And if you don't agree here and not see it. But I'm like Hitler didn't like, looks on a fair any other. But I like how can you raise a child with your buddy? If the two parents aren't in love though. How can you? I don't know, that's my medmer.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Have we got you a list of references? But I think it has two strikes going against, it being a healthy living environment or the child not being fucked up. If right out of the bat, you put it out on Main Street that like, oh no, your father and I are just platonic. We may not even, we don't know even friends. We just had this, we just had you together
Starting point is 00:19:49 so we could fulfill this need. It's not about you, just calm down, kid. It's not about you. It's about me and your father or mother who had to have a fucking kid so desperately. We just had to fucking pass on our genetics because we're so fucking great. You're so great.
Starting point is 00:20:04 That we had, we did, we're not in love, and we didn't even have sex. We used a new scientific way and now here we are. I'm like, I'm not sure that I think that's a good idea. I think you're horrible. I do agree with you. You're raising children in an environment without seeing two loving parents.
Starting point is 00:20:21 And guess what, we don't need more people. Enough people have been manufactured. Look around you. There are way too many fucking people that you're like, I can't wait for the one because we've had coronavirus for 10 months. You found them once. Right. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:20:36 We're not going to have a kid. Because we don't need one. We don't need another one with the fucking black cloud over them. I'm going to continue that shit. I want the Johnson bloodline to die for me. Was this discussed at length before the proposal? And was this something you got out of the way? Like, I want to make sure that you were on the same page or it is this.
Starting point is 00:20:56 How does this come about that you know this about her? Because she tells me there's no fucking way I want a kid. Really? Yeah, she is really... Why is she so anti-child? She doesn't like him, she doesn't like children. She doesn't like children? In general, she doesn't like children.
Starting point is 00:21:10 The other day she was like, I don't like children, other than cute. Oh yeah, fucking kids. What is there to like about kids? Yeah, she just is like, I don't want to have a kid. I don't want to raise a kid. I don't actually kind of wants to do her own thing. She's not maternal in any respect.
Starting point is 00:21:27 She's good with Sage, like playing video games and that kind of stuff. She's good with her in school work. She really likes Sage, because she has to. She's got no choice. Uh-huh. I mean, she's like, that sounds like a crosser, so like, cold and clinical, She likes sage because she has to
Starting point is 00:21:47 Yeah, she's got no choice in the matter like if she didn't like sage. She wouldn't be we wouldn't be together So that they have a good relationship is means a lot. I mean, okay. All right. Yeah, I don't I don't mean that like she has to treat her as her own kid or whatever But I it's isn't it proven that kids raised, because this whole platonic friendships and now these friends are gonna live together forever? Or they don't even live together. So they don't just share custody. Yeah, they share custody. It seems like it's gonna work out really well.
Starting point is 00:22:14 What a fucking stupid selfish idea. Uh, I think it's like everything else. I think that with the right people, it would probably be fine. But I think that very few people would have the emotional maturity to pull that off. I don't think it's gonna affect the kid any worse than some shitty marriages I've ever seen. Right, because there's, like you said,
Starting point is 00:22:36 there's a lot of marriages that aren't all that loving and they have children and they expose them the things that probably could be way worse than a platonic kid may see. I think so, so I think it just comes out to the people. I've never understood the argument for having kids. But I mean, there is something to this though. Think about it, if you're gonna have a kid and you're not living with the child
Starting point is 00:22:58 and you're splitting that kid, then you're kind of getting your cake and eating it too, because you have a child with someone who's not riding your fucking balls all the time, and also you don't have the child with you, presumably 50% of the time. But isn't that, why do you have kids then? Yeah, I don't want to spend time with you.
Starting point is 00:23:15 I'm with you. Yeah, I don't know. Like I cannot understand the mindset of somebody who purposely has kids, which would prevent them from doing what they want to do at any given time, which possibly is as selfish if not more so than somebody who is having it, bringing a kid into the world and they're just It's affecting me and I'm upfront and it's not affecting anybody else. It's not like I give in and have a kid and then I'm like, oh, I wish I never had this kid.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Right. Not affecting anybody else, it's not like I give in and have a kid and then I'm like, oh, I wish I never had this kid. Talk about how much legal work is there to have this kid do between the, like, I mean, it's got to be worse than buying a house, right? And that falls apart. How can a fall apart, you're platonic. Yeah, but then if one person's like, hey, I don't like this other bitch you're bringing around the kids, I don't like this guy you're bringing around the kids and then it's a whole thing.
Starting point is 00:24:03 I just can't imagine like they can't just fucking wait. You can't just wait until you find somebody that you actually want to have a kid with. Yeah, to me, I feel it is being selfish though for the parents to be like, you know, I want this so badly that I'm willing to roll the dice that this will work out. Yeah. Because I want to be a parent. And I would think odds are against it. I would think so. But it. I would think so.
Starting point is 00:24:25 But you've read this article though. It was like the fucking, this was the solution to everyone's problems though. Oh really? Yeah. Where did you read it? Like fucking slate or fucking plus fee or some shit? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I don't know. Fucking garbage, what's that? I'm sorry. Because for me, I was in a restaurant. So you're by the old half-posed. Woo! What's going on here? Oh, everything's awful. I was in a restaurant. So you're by the old Hufflepoles. Ooh, what's going on here? Oh, everything's awful.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Yeah, it was one of those ones. It bummed me out though, because I was just like, man, if that's the way it's going, no. I don't know if it's going to make things better in like before to raise kids in that environment either. But then again, like you said, though, there's no real easy answer, though. think as far as like family kids go, I think Walt may have the most solid family unit out of anyone I know. Yeah, but I mean, but that's a paint that's like you see a snippet here or a snippet there.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Oh yeah, I can't, I don't like to get these emails from people though. They're like, like that, like that just like, like I want your opinion, I want your like to get these emails from people though. They're like, they're like, just like, like, I want your opinion, I want your advice and all fatherly things, like I'm fucking, like I'm the greatest dad that ever far self is father-bond Flanagan. I know, like, that is a joke on a podcast though. You know, like, I talk like I'm the fucking
Starting point is 00:25:40 alpha male comic book selling dude. That is, but there's no such thing farther from the truth, like I'll pump up like the fact that, like, oh yeah, I'm not joking alpha male comic book selling dude. That is, but there's no such thing farther from the truth. Like I'll pump up like the fact that like, oh yeah, I'm not joking, I saw comics. It's a joke. You're like, you like, so for the people to be like, I need your advice, I'm having a child
Starting point is 00:25:54 and I don't know if I want to have this baby, but I hear you talk, so I think it'll be great now because of the way we're hearing you. And I'm like, you really can't take what I say and put and make it like frame it around that like now you're gonna have the same experiences though because I said something on a podcast. My kids are awesome because it's probably gonna be a shit nagging.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Yeah, yeah, it's tough though because like I guess people only see a snippet though and they fill in all the holes that of what really goes on and what really, what it's not just fucking shooting a video with my kids and thinking like, oh, I could do that too. There's a lot more that goes into it, you know? What's the biggest issue you've had, do you think?
Starting point is 00:26:38 Like, say within the past year, like with either of them, because it just seems like they're so well behaved. Just getting too old. So that's the problem, you're like, they're getting too old, and you're like, I wanna spend time with them. Yeah, because it just seems like they're so old. Just getting too old. Just getting too old. So that's the problem you're like they're getting to all the things that you're like, I want to spend time with them. Yeah, I was I was I was that's a problem. Oh, yeah, I was at a restaurant, I saw a family with like three or four, no, that five kids, all the same age. And I was just like, I wish that we had five
Starting point is 00:26:59 kids. And you know, I wish that we didn't stop. But that they be a fucking platonic friend. Yeah're gonna call for that. I don't know. I've never again. Yeah, but that, like, because they were all young and they don't, and I don't think they realized, like, how quickly that goes away, because they were like so higred about it. Like, there was the one that the mother was telling the father
Starting point is 00:27:16 to bring the kid, the boy into the bathroom, and he was fucking shooting her dirty looks, and he was yelling at her, you know, that, you know, because the other one wasn't sitting down, and the other one was talking to another table. And it's just like they're so like wrapped up in like, making sure everything's perfectly at the table. It's like that doesn't fucking matter.
Starting point is 00:27:33 Yeah. You're at friendlies. Who gives a fuck? You're not, yeah, you're not at fucking flamage array or fucking char? Yeah, Goddamn it. If you know what he would, you would hear it from me if you were.
Starting point is 00:27:42 I don't even hear that shit. Nobody at friendlies expects your kids to fucking behave like fucking angels. Like, however they're behaving, that's what people experience. Yeah, they were so stressed out that, you know, it was just like, I wanted to go over and be like, you know, don't worry about it, but like, they would have, I would look like such a lunatic though.
Starting point is 00:27:58 They call me Father. I'm not German. I'm not German. Yeah, I'm not German. You're waiting. I'll take your kid into the bathroom. Straight about once a couple. You'll be fine. I'm like a helpful, I'm sick.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Oh boy. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,
Starting point is 00:28:40 I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, effort is more about than what's touching your skin. It's about feeling comfortable in your skin. Here, this must be for you. Walt, you're a total badass. And what you should wear, should only accentuate the fact. I don't know. Yeah, like, after all these years,
Starting point is 00:28:52 if people listening don't realize, I'm not a total badass, and then you're, then you're clueless, you shouldn't have a kid. And by meandies. Oh, wait, they've got a 2020 pledge. I guess this is a, okay, here you go. Mjondi's gives an initiative that supports those who have systemic barriers to their self-expression. By shopping, by shopping Mjondi's you support such causes as LGBTQ plus communities, mental
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Starting point is 00:30:28 with any product for any reason, they'll refund or exchange it. No caveats, no questions. Get your 15% off your first order and I've been writing out thank you cards. Ooh. And like some of the people like Mary Beth wrote a whole bunch there to like the fucking DJ into this one. It's a personal eyes like little note. It's not just a standard like thank you for your wonderful gift. Right, everyone, why everyone that I'm writing is personally a person to that person.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Yeah. And it made me think of like, as I was writing it out, it made me think of a long, long time ago when Caitlin was being christened. Yeah. And it was. Godfather.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Yeah, and it was down at Debbie's parent's house, but down in Highlands atistened. Yeah. And it was Godfather. Yeah, and it was down at Debbie's parents' house, but down in Highlands at the time. Yeah. I brought a card. I can't remember if I put a check in it, knowing me at the time. Maybe not. But anyway, I brought a card. And on the front of the card, it was a little black boy and a little white girl, and they're holding hands. Uh-huh. And on the inside of the card, I no matter what your father says there's nothing wrong with this picture. And as I was thinking about that and writing out a card to somebody I was like it must be taxing at times to be my friend. Because I thought back and I was like not only did did I write that and give it to him he immediately puts it away because what I didn't know was that
Starting point is 00:32:06 one of Debbie's relatives was in a mixed marriage, a mixed marriage, and they were there at the time so he immediately hit this girl the way. I don't have any problem with it obviously. I just think it's funny to say, but it seemed like at the time maybe it wasn't funny, it was improper. But I can write anything I want on these thank you cards. Yeah. Right? Yeah, there you go. And I am. But I'm trying to keep a wall,
Starting point is 00:32:32 since I've never given you, remember I also went, you guys were nice enough to come to Sage's party and I wrote that card as if it were from Sage and your kids were little enough that they thought Sage wrote. Yeah. I've got us keeping our jackets on and trying to... I'm trying to buy the door.
Starting point is 00:32:46 ...to try to buy the door to make us quick as X is possible. Uh, I thought about that too and I gotta say it still makes me laugh. I don't know why. Yeah, that's funny. I don't know. That's funny, but like the first one is not funny. The first one is just like... Like the first one, I...
Starting point is 00:33:02 The first one, but it's not appropriate. It's inappropriate, yeah, right. Like I don't think I would do it today. I can't guarantee it, but I don't think I would do it today. I don't know, but thanks for staying my friend after all these fucking stupid things I do.
Starting point is 00:33:16 It really doesn't mean a lot. Cause, you know, cause sometimes I don't, it's been, now that I'm on medication, I think I'm better at controlling impulses, but before, like, sometimes I'm like, well, this is, well, not it, but maybe not because I wrote all that stuff into the wedding bells.
Starting point is 00:33:31 Yeah, but you're not changing your whole personality because you're taking a pill or you're just, we're going impulse control, that's all. Yeah. Impulse control was like burrow. Yeah. What do you mean? Like, to not, well, I guess I did have a week. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Like simmering. Yeah, we can't believe it. Like simmering. You're not a fuck. Say our heads aren't good enough for me. Like something that shouldn't bother you at all. Something you should agree with. You should have been like, yeah, I can see why
Starting point is 00:34:02 they didn't like that ad. They're totally right. Totally right. It wasn't even anything mildly insulting, but you you just you couldn't take it. I couldn't take it. Yeah, because I'm like Well, who the fuck are they yeah, I don't know I wouldn't say I look I've always been a big, you know Supporter of yours a booster of yours. I never thought you had probably biggest throughout my life. Yeah, I don't the I never thought you had a change all that much The biggest throughout my life. Yeah, I don't think I never thought you had a change all that much Just a little bit here in there. It was all it was all about keeping you happy not about changing you Like it wasn't like we got to change you so that you Make those so you don't make those jokes anymore. I like those jokes
Starting point is 00:34:39 It's it's your impulse control was getting in the way of your own happiness and that was where It's your impulse control was getting in the way of your own happiness. And that was where, speaking of myself, that was where the change needed to be. Like you need to just adjust it so you're not self-destructing. Yeah, that makes sense. And it seems like, mission accomplished.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Yeah, I'm doing all right. I can't remember the last time I heard you. I am says I'm doing all right. I am says you're happy. Your own brother is like this is the fuck stuff. Why is he happy? Yeah, I don't think, I don't know that Darn will ever get married. I don't think my my sister's boyfriend wants to marry her.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Eric after this recent, uh, this recent marriage, who knows what's up for him. So that that was Eric. He was saying that was the Johnson curse new to Johnson siblings have ever been married at the same time. So yeah. Uh, I hope they need to get divorced eventually to open up. I hope he's too much of a catch. He's there. Oh yeah. Oh, little duck. He's really. Yeah, he's too much of a catch. He's a he's a person. A cool guy. Yeah. He's nice. He's got a good job.
Starting point is 00:35:42 I almost just fucked up. Yeah, he's got scars, which are cool Yeah, he should say he got it in a fight or something. I was like I was protecting some marginalized person Somebody's somebody was trying to express himself, but they weren't allowed to So I that's that's the problem with America. Nobody can express themselves There's not enough avenues for people to tell you what the fuck they think. Here. What else do I got? Oh, uh, Walt, I had off of that, that card thing I was thinking, it's only for a weekend. It's only for a weekend, but we do tell them Steve Dave wife swap. Now that I'm married, you don't think Deb would go for it? I think I'm a fun person to be around.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Why? Name me one good reason why she wouldn't want to hang out with me over the weekend. I wouldn't, I just don't think it would go well. You know what? I think we should move on. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
Starting point is 00:36:48 All right. All right. Was there a conversation had on the way back from the wedding? All right. Did you tell her I agreed with her that you should have said something? Uh, no. No. No.
Starting point is 00:37:00 No. It's in a wife's swap, fine. Can you please get married so you can wife swap? You got it, fine. Or maybe get swap. You got it fun or maybe get him It's getting weird to get him leave His wife is still listening. They're meant to spend a weekend sleeping on the cricket then See I mean the reason I would want a wife swap with Walters because I know Debbie wouldn't want to but then I would win her over I guarantee I could win her over all those those decades of her being like this motherfucker,
Starting point is 00:37:27 all I'm done in one week and I've got you. Yeah. I'm sure that's why I don't want you to, because you would definitely win or over. Well, not what say she wants to be my wife, I'm saying she's not the huge asshole I thought he was. He's still an asshole, don't get me wrong. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:37:43 Walt a councilman in the UK was asked to remove his outdoor Halloween decorations because they were detrimental to the mental health of kids. And 2020 is terrifying enough. Now when I show you these decorations, there's nobody. There's a lot of green lit house. Yeah, it's a green lit house. There's a community spider. Those are green lit house. Yeah, it's a green lit house. There's a car. That mean any spider there's just those are generic. They're party city skeletons.
Starting point is 00:38:09 Yeah, wow. It's not like anybody's hanging anybody's dismembered. Yeah, that's being a little gratuitous with with your complaint. This is in England. This is in England. Yeah, there's some ghosts right there. God, we're going to lose the next world war. I mean, can you imagine? I don't even want to say, pacified. It's a complete insult
Starting point is 00:38:32 to the female anatomy. I just can't imagine the fucking idiot who who thinks like and voices. Like, can you imagine voicing that? I think three three witches holding hands and not even scary witches. They don't even look like real people. They live with Wizard of Oz pop like puppets. That is crazy. Well, that's a problem when you when you when you we've created the world where everybody's opinion has to be like you're just like, well, I was somebody saying it, so we have to weigh it.
Starting point is 00:39:04 You have to wait. There's a fucking news story because one person was like, I think this is opinion has to be like you're just like well somebody saying it so we have to weigh it. You have to wait. There's a fucking news story because one person was like I think this is detrimental to children. Now one they fuck this person and they're fucking opinion. They don't say. They just fuck them and they're fucking opinion. I agree.
Starting point is 00:39:17 They don't say whether this person had kids that complain but I'm sure they did but can you imagine being that fucking bitch's kid? Oh God. Can you imagine that shit? She's like, it's too scary. Isn't 2020 scary enough? Yes, jerk off. That's why you have a bunch of fucking fake ghosts
Starting point is 00:39:32 and witches to take kids' minds off of us. Real, which is the fucking coronavirus, dumbass. I don't know, holy fuck. Let's not celebrate Christmas either. I don't know. What's going on, Britain? Because I also have- Did I say Christmas?
Starting point is 00:39:43 Oh, that's wrong, too. Go ahead. But the Brits are really getting you know a little you know woosey because They removed parrots in a wildlife park because they swore at visitors Wouldn't that be like like the old you could talk about? That's why I go yeah
Starting point is 00:40:02 like like the old you could talk about. That's why I go. Well, yeah, right. You got to go. This is parody. Because you're paying cocks under it. You're paying cocks under it. I feel like that's the most parody for you. There was a five foul mouthbirds.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Nice. That one wall. I didn't do it. I was reading here. There were fouls. They were donated to a Lincolnshire Wildlife Park in Eastern England. And within days of them being donated,
Starting point is 00:40:26 they were swearing at the visitors and the staff at the park. I get called the fat tit every time I walk past said. Welcome to my world. But yeah, I would be like, like, if that happened, and like if I brought my kids there, like, that would be all we could talk about for years later. You're awesome. I mean, that would be the lasting memory
Starting point is 00:40:49 of the fucking visit. Yeah. Like, what is wrong with people? Were they snapped these birds and that because something like that, they were like, well, they removed them. They removed them. They're through them in the trash can.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Yeah. I think they just, and they also removed their tongue, so they can never speak again. I don't know. Yeah. But listen to this, they even gave visitors, they're their donations back to the park because of these birds. And it doesn't say what they were saying, like what the curse is.
Starting point is 00:41:11 What are the words, Tit? It's Tit even that bad. Or Twatt, maybe I don't know. Like, don't they say Twatt over there? They say T. Because it says T, asterisk, asterisk, T. So I mean, it could be Twat or two. Well, it's three letters So it's gonna be dead. Okay. What's a twat in England?
Starting point is 00:41:28 What is a twat? Yeah, it's the same thing. It's like pussy. Can't look at this twat. Mm-hmm. Oh So it literally means a body part two and also like a dickhead Yeah, I think it's just like a well like in the UK. I think a woman's Pulse is her fanny, right? Is that how it goes? It's one of the things they say, but Twad is definitely for the vagina. So in it.
Starting point is 00:41:51 So they call it in America, we call it a fanny, but in, it's the opposite side. Yeah. Wow. Wonder why, I wonder how that happened. I know, we invented this shit. Where are they changing? I don't know if you're ever hearing.
Starting point is 00:42:05 I don't know what you're talking about. I'm like, what are you talking about? Say Fanny though in America anymore. Wow. Yeah, so I don't know, Q. I know you're adoptive countries seemingly getting a little soft. It's all going downhill, bro. Not like America.
Starting point is 00:42:19 Ooh, boy. We're not soft. No, not. I mean, we're softened as much as like if you hear something it immediately upsets you like If you hear it like you hear somebody Got stabbed or shot it immediately upsets you without hearing anything if you hear that somebody said something or made a joke 20 years ago Or like people are so Now ready to just fuck up like Like what? What? Like they're
Starting point is 00:42:45 more fucking confrontational and ready to fucking like than I've ever been in my life. Like these, these fucking people are nuts. Yeah, but I don't think it's, like I said, but Q's always said, I just think it's online. I don't think it's real. I don't think it's you anybody you come into contact with on a daily basis though. No, not that kind of stuff, but I do wonder when like, look, I don't want to see anybody get shot. I don't. But when somebody's shooting at you and then the cops shoot back and they hit you, look man, come on.
Starting point is 00:43:16 I mean, come on. And then you tear the whole city apart because someone was shoot like, again, what would you do differently? If somebody was shooting at me, I have a couple guns. Why would fucking shoot back? Why isn't there like body armor though, that cops can wear so they can never get shot again? It's day and age.
Starting point is 00:43:32 It could dress like Batman and that. Why isn't that just available everywhere? We'll address that in a second. Can we fucking move past shooting people in the leg too? It is not a practical way to take somebody down. Stop saying shoot somebody in the leg. You sound is not a practical way to take somebody down. Stop saying shoot somebody in the leg, you sound like an asshole when you say it. Okay, go ahead. I just don't know why we don't have like, remember those guys that robbed the bank years ago?
Starting point is 00:43:55 Oh yeah, they had all that like, like, body. Yeah, they're like this Italian like dudes who came in and they had like this unbelievable body armor. That was in early 2000. Yeah. and they had like this unbelievable body armor. That was in early 2000. Yeah. How the fuck is this, not every police officer have that armor? They were sitting there and bullets were bouncing off and like they were fucking.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Yeah, they eventually got killed though. Yeah, but they had to get heavier artillery though. They were so fucking long and they shot a bunch of cops. I mean, you would see they were like shooting popcorn kernels at them. Like that's how they were staying there with real bullets being shot at them. 1998.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Yeah, but you think the cops are supposed to just allow just absorb bullets from people? No, but I'm just saying though that like if you had this kind of armor though, yeah, you wouldn't you wouldn't be in danger though. Uh, I guess, but at the same time, it's like, what does that mean though? Like, all right, so you're not in danger, so you shouldn't shoot back? I'm just saying maybe there's a different tactic than if you know that the bullets can't impenetrate your armor. Sure. Then there may not need to be, to use lethal force then.
Starting point is 00:44:56 But somebody who's firing wildly at you, whether you're a bulletproof or not, is still putting people in danger, like you have to take them down. That's true. Yeah, but maybe you could take them down. I Don't shoot them in a leg Tell them Steve Dave I wish we have one more ad and 20 more minutes Can't disagree. I'll move it to the end of the episode if you want, but we've been going
Starting point is 00:45:28 40 minutes. That was good though. What's the ad? Uh, what do we got? We got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, policy geniuses life insurance right it's all kinds of insurance it sounds like a daunting task but if you've got loved ones that depend on you it's also really important that's why I have to get it so I can fake my own death and make those guys some money policy genius makes it easy they combine a cutting edge insurance marketplace with help from license experts can you stop
Starting point is 00:46:00 your first second I'm sorry to interrupt, but if there's one person on the fucking planet That I would pick to try to fool policy genius and faking their own death. I think there's only one guy I would go to Get him Steve Dave. I think get him could pull it off He's almost off the fucking grid with his real name anyway, right? I think he could pull it off. I think he's smart enough, if I gave him like six months to pull it off, I think he could do it. So we should get an life insurance policy on getting him. Why do we have to fake it then? Because we don't want to pay out now. Right. But I mean, like let's say, we don't want to be really dives. Let's say, no, I'm just saying we hope it alone All right to get that you know, I 148 IQ
Starting point is 00:46:47 Is it should be all the policy genius it can't fucking we can't stand up to that no policy genius is gonna be a log Look, we'll look we helped them find the life insurance policy guide you guys pay up That's the way it is and that's the brilliance about policy geniuses. They're gonna be your middleman, right? They make it easy they You can save 50% or more by using policy genius to compare life insurance. So we save money and we make money off of them. Right.
Starting point is 00:47:11 On average, Q, how many people successfully, you'll never know the answer, but if you had to guess, how many people successfully faked their own death for the insurance money? Who? In today's world, and per year, how many you think is it less than 10? Is it less than five? I would say more than 10. I know there's more than 10. I think it's ingenuity
Starting point is 00:47:31 You don't think you that's what people do man. They just fucking find ways around this shit. Yeah smart motherfuckers out there But if they really think that they have private detectives they have law enforcement on their side I think it's hard. Yeah A lot of people can't even get away with work comp cases where they're like, hey, this person hurt their arm and then they're like at the bowling league. But those are fucking dope, so. Assholes. Not like, get them Steve Dave,
Starting point is 00:47:53 ain't gonna fucking be caught at the bowling alley when he's supposed to be dead. But what if he's feeding horses? You know, and they're like, well, well, you get them Steve Dave, you get the money back from Brian Walt. Let's see, once you apply the policy genius tape team, the money back from Brian Walt. Let's see, once you apply the policy genius tape team will handle all the paperwork and red tape and the best part is they work for you, not the insurance company, the great
Starting point is 00:48:13 bastards. I say, we do. We shave his beard and die as hair blonde and we say, that's just twin brother. That's a good idea. I'm gonna do that anyway. But he pretends like his IQ is around 80 or so. That's really so the part. Well, man, I would that look different from how he acts now.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Yeah, you would never think he had a 148, right? No. You would think that he was full of shit. Like, I believe a lot of what he says he's not full shit because he he says it so quickly You're like hey this and something like you have no idea about he's like oh well as've ever come into contact with in my entire life. No, I don't care who you throw out there. Maybe the most... Throw out anybody.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Are you talking intelligence or knowledge? All the whole fucking kitten caboodle. Why is wisdom? You've so wait a second, you've met Eric, he's a doctor. I, yeah. You've met Scott Mosher more than once. You've met Scott Mosher. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:49:22 You've met him as more intelligent than both of them. Yes. Wow, okay. I mean, care. You get him as more intelligent than both of them. Yes. Wow, okay. I mean, it's like when you really sit there and you start to like see him wow people. I don't, you don't see him on a daily basis like I do. It's fucking jaw dropping. Wow, it's people with how smart he is. How does he wow people by being in the kitchen?
Starting point is 00:49:41 Just knowing every thing. He knows everything. He knows everything. There's nothing he does to the elderly. I don't know. I don't know where to go with this. I mean, I tease him and everything, but like if I'm being honest, he legitimately is the most intelligent person that I have ever come across in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:50:04 Is he get him? What's your position on, um, yeah, come on over here, get him. Any topic he should be a loaise on, right? Well, I don't, you know, you know, what, again, no, I'm painting a picture like he's the perfect specimen. Yeah. I don't want to say that either. Like, you know, he's not Einstein. No, he's just.
Starting point is 00:50:25 So everybody we've ever met. We didn't make that mistake. Yeah, I don't want to say that either like like you know he's not Einstein. No, he's just Everybody we've ever met. We didn't make that mistake. Yeah I'm feeling any set up for failure. Would you know a random topic traffic cameras? In what sense? It's just what do you think about them? Should they be are they legal? How do they work traffic cameras and monitoring traffic flow and things like that? Like red light cameras? No, you have to ask him, can he build a traffic camera? Not his opinion on if they're ethical. But you said it was wise. It's not his sign of intelligence.
Starting point is 00:50:49 I didn't even ask him if they were ethical. I just asked what he thought about it. I know where this is going. I want to, I want to see some of that. I mean some of that. I'm like, it looks stupid. So red light cameras. How do you feel about them?
Starting point is 00:50:59 I mean, they do their job. I think that, um, Or do they do the job of the police? They do the job of the police. It's nothing that a police officer. Police can't be there everywhere at all times. Now, I think that, um, or do they do the job of the police? They do the job of the police. It's nothing that a police officer can't be there everywhere at all times. Now I think it's wrong. I didn't know this was a tag. I do believe it's wrong.
Starting point is 00:51:13 It's the pally to install red light cameras, do things like shortening the yellow lights below the standards that are set for you. They do that. Yes, I'm do. Do I want to know they did that? Did you know they did that? I didn't know they did that. Now you do.
Starting point is 00:51:24 But now doesn't that isn did that. Now you do? But now, doesn't that, isn't that more likely to cause traffic accidents? Yes, that's a lot of people's objections to traffic cameras is that by shortening the yellow lights to unsafe limits that they're going to cause. To make money. Yeah, that there are people are going
Starting point is 00:51:37 to be slamming on their brakes and stuff like that. This government is shit. Plus some people find that the equations that regulate what yellow lights should be, don't take into account things like turning lanes, because you have to slow down to approach them, should mean the yellow light should be a little longer. But I think the accepted time is supposed to be three to six seconds. He's constantly informing me of information that I did not know. Or care about. It is like on a like he is feeding like a staggering amount of knowledge to me that I
Starting point is 00:52:10 did not know before you know he told it to me so I mean nobody else that I've ever come across has been has done that when I've come I got a hand I pulled Travis Kim out of my ass and he's well versed on it. I was actually reading about it the other day, so. No. Because I was watching a... Are you smart enough to stop tapping that mic? I was watching a video of that guy, that judge in Providence, Rhode Island.
Starting point is 00:52:34 I don't know if you've ever seen his court cases. He really gives the... He gives the... He breaks his worry. This is where you bore people. No, okay. You wowed them. Just shut up.
Starting point is 00:52:44 Yeah, that's what he doesn't know when take back off, right? Leave him want more much much less So now that they're cute got another topic that like dark matter. I can't I can't understand we don't have enough time for dark matter People way way smarter than I have not figured out what dark matter is exactly. But do you have a theory? I've never really thought about it. It's just the, you know, the matter that it is. It's supposed to be the matter that fills up the empty space that matter takes, that matter that we can observe.
Starting point is 00:53:18 It's been theorized because there's gravity moves in ways that it shouldn't and the only explanation is that there's some kind of matter that can't be detected that's causing gravitational forces that will lens things like light and other rays. You're exquisite. You are exquisite fucking. And is it theory that dark matter follows the same rules as regular matter which it cannot be created or destroyed or? I mean like the laws of thermodynamics?
Starting point is 00:53:45 Yeah. That I'm gonna admit, I don't know about it. I haven't really looked into it. All right. What happened? Why is it when someone flutches a toilet in Australia, the water goes down the opposite way in America? I believe that's like, it's supposed to be
Starting point is 00:53:59 the Coriolis effect, but I'm not sure if that's actually true or not. It might be like an urban legend propagated by things like the Simpsons It's like having a walk in Google. Yeah, it's like there is a Coriolis effect What is chud stand for the cannibalistic human underground dwellers? Damn, he's good close enough. Yeah, you know, I'm humanoid even though I do yeah and people online give him you know Like who really his haters You know, he's not smart.
Starting point is 00:54:27 He's just a parroting things he read. That's, you know, he can remember things. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. And then I don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:37 I don't know a lot of things, but one of the things I kind of, you know, a lot of things. I know where to look for things. I know how to look for things, how how to look for things have a phrase don't sell yourself they're great tools but you have to know what to ask for to get the answer that you want right go to just trust the internet all the time right no no definitely not Abraham was good. Back to your ex. You're right. You're right. You're right.
Starting point is 00:55:11 I told you. I tried the trip mode with two wildly different topics. I mean, yeah, from the back. He knew everything about everything. Just scholarly. Yeah. It's a gift. Now, do you think you could get into, well, you know what, let me finish this real fast.
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Starting point is 00:55:51 I think that you know like it's a shame that like He didn't apply himself Into the fields he should have went into is it too late for science? He should have been a scientist. And competitive eating. He really, I mean, he, I mean, it's a gift to us that he's here, and you know, but I think the world was robbed, you know, of what he could have provided. You know, we may not be, we're sitting today as a world know, as a world, if Gidham Steve Dave hadn't flunked out of college.
Starting point is 00:56:28 Oh, he could have been the president. No, I mean, he's staying in college. Like, why did he get kicked out again? His grades were bad. He just, yeah, he doesn't take tests well. Oh, okay. You know, when he, when he's put on the spot, he usually comes up small. But he just did pretty well right there Right, I mean he doesn't feel the pressure of a real test right there. Gotcha. You know Well, we can't discount the fact that he does for better or worse have autism and that's gonna affect his test taking ability But I think that's why he's as smart as he is to yeah, I think that like it's like it's the curse, you know, it's a blessing in the curse because it provided him with a brain
Starting point is 00:57:11 unlike any other person on the planet. When we were really, you really are selling this guy. I don't know where we're going. I don't know where we're going. There are two centers like Eric, who? Show me this kid him. You think with that intelligence, he's got to be a skilled lover, right?
Starting point is 00:57:30 Skilled. Oh, I know. I know he's told me he is. He said he is. He told me that he, he, he, he doesn't care about his needs until his partners needs are met. And he has put his, he has put his body through his partner's needs are met and he has put his he has put his body through Disfigurement his revenge to provide his lovers with pleasure. Yeah, that bump on his hand and that says everything about a human being doesn't it? Yeah, you know smart and selfless Is there a better combination? Well in a different package
Starting point is 00:58:09 combination? Well, in a different package, perhaps. That's how you're the bolding. You know, it's like a decorative bag versus like, you know, a grocery bag. You know, Christmas time, you get a nice fucking, you know what though? He's, if he, if he applied himself, he could fuck with himself into shape to i believe too he won't be about his application that's where he would lose girls i think his complete lack of ambition to no i mean he doesn't want to lose weight he's he's offered he's offered money to lose weight he's offered rent for his house his apartment he's offered this he's offered that he doesn't care but i mean
Starting point is 00:58:42 what do you want though i mean he's fucking smart as a fucking whip. And you want ambition to I don't think women are going. Yeah, that's a lot of times they go hand in hand. I think in fact, I think you can get more successful with ambition over intelligence. If you had to be one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I believe that you're right.
Starting point is 00:59:00 I believe ambition can trump intelligence. That's not a political statement. No, no, no, no, come the fuck down. Yeah, but we're recording this so we don't even know, like we're recording this couple of weeks ago. We've already smashed a few windows. The election has passed. By now, it's passed, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:20 We probably don't know who won as of yet, but we may. You think a week later, we still won't know who who won as of yet, but we may You think of you're a week later. We still won't know you think it's be that close, huh? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it's a possibility It could be a trouncing no to though. I mean everything is set up for a trouncing as well It feels like if you had to call it. Who do you think who do you think is a rule we're living on there now rule rule like the rule I don't think we're living under anybody's rule We're not I'm fucking monarchy if you don't believe that there's a ruling class uh yes I do but it's not the political class oh who is it it's the fucking elites yeah but you don't think that they run who goes into the wine house
Starting point is 00:59:59 um no because I think if they did that Trump won't go in here the first time really with all those tax cuts he did. Oh, yeah, you're right. Let's ask you to That's end Alan It is we know you don't know goddamn it But what if you had the if you had the bet if you had the guess all that money that you got fucking and queues hair I mean even if this even if this goes to even if this goes to the internet in two weeks I think they're still gonna be mail-in ballots and haven't been eventually someone's gonna win. Who is it? What do you think it's gonna be? I would, uh,
Starting point is 01:00:49 not say Trump, because he was, I didn't expect him to win last time. I remember going to bed and waking up and finding out he was president. I was like, wow, I did not expect that. One bit whatsoever. Yeah. I said that, that makes you look like you're not smart.
Starting point is 01:01:01 What? You should always say that you knew it. I'll cut that part out. No, I always say you knew it was gonna happen. I'm sure it's online that I said that. I'm not gonna. Oh, you didn't know this was gonna happen? Get real condescending and shit.
Starting point is 01:01:12 Yeah, you can, no it's gonna fact check you here. You could have been like, you could have just told me that you knew it was gonna happen. And then, but you didn't know it was a fucking idiot. I honestly think of Corona didn't happen. He would have just walked right into the White House for a second term. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:24 Given the way that the country seemed to be moving in a pretty good direction at that time with the stock market and everything. But now it's tough, but I think I know of some people who used to be very democratic and are now pro-Trump because they think that the coronavirus response is overblown and I'm not saying they're right, I, you know, it's a very tough issue
Starting point is 01:01:46 People are so unwilling to commit like I don't know. I think the coronavirus is kind of bullshit Oh, I don't know. I don't I'm not saying you do. Yeah, but it's very rare that people want to say that like there's like people are so like I don't want to say that because I don't get called a Nazi somebody was he was yelling to like I bet Bryce the kind of because a couple weeks ago We were talking about masks and shit. I'm like a heat wear in the mask Mm-hmm you guys heat wear in the mask. You guys were both wearing the mask, but I wasn't. Bryce seems like the kind of guy
Starting point is 01:02:08 that would just go to the store and like not wear a mask. And I'm like, what do you mean I seem like that type? I haven't done it once. Every time I go in a state, I think it may have been you're in the car being like, oh, I fucking forgot the God damn it. It was your time when I was like of terrorizing Sonic's, though, that made, you know, that people like, you know, they you know that people like you know they
Starting point is 01:02:25 conjecture or like you see what they make you okay well if he's if he fucking was angry at a Sonic they're extrapolating yeah all right well don't extrapolate man you can't fucking figure me out and Bob and we get all over the place and if you had fucking just see me I made a bobbing and weaving motion to prove my point very agile yeah. To out. Yeah. But do you even said that you, I mean, what are they upset that you don't like? I don't like wearing a mask.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Nobody likes it. I want to meet the person that's given a choice. Would you like Ronu to go away and not wear a mask? I want to meet the person that's like, nah, it's okay. I'm good. Well, even, of course, I was just like, I can't stand wearing the mask.
Starting point is 01:03:00 I don't want to wear the mask. I see people, not me. I see people being like, fuck it. I'm not doing this anymore. And I think in masks, like earlier today, you were saying that some Mexican guy walked into 7-11. Wasn't wearing a mask and... No, yeah, it was, uh, blah-wah.
Starting point is 01:03:14 And was that wearing a mask? And no one said a single word to him. Like, I could see the employees like giving him a side eye. And I'm like, I just waited until he was gone and I stayed back, waited until he was gone and threw and then I checked out. I work at blah-wah, I feel like I'd be the same way. I'd be like, I don waited until he was gone and I stayed back, waited until he was gone and threw, and then I checked out. I work at Wauwai, I feel like I'd be the same way. I'd be like, I don't want to deal with this shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:31 Oh wait, let me fucking go talk to that white guy over there. I'll yell at him for keeping his mask down that way. Nobody will give a fuck. Yeah, I mean, I just, I try to do as much enforcement as I can in the store, but. Pam was in the grocery store wearing her mask down under her nose, and she's like, it gets too hot, I can't breathe. She has asthma, so of course she's fucking using that excuse.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I'm like, bitch, you're a nurse! You're a fucking nurse! Why keep the mask on at all? Then go get a fucking note from your doctor that says you don't have to wear one. And then deal with every mother fucker coming up to you. Put the guy in the mask. I got this car. Just put it on.
Starting point is 01:04:02 Yeah. I try to delirately tell people in the store and they do that. I'm like, oh, it looks like your mask slipped down. So it's like I'm not saying it's your fault. It's like, oh, maybe it just slipped down. You didn't realize it. They're saying maybe 2021, the middle of it, then there might be some movement towards not having to wear masks anymore.
Starting point is 01:04:23 That'd be nice. Is it okay if I don't wear it then, Mr. fucking red it jerk off. I think this is a rip off, forget about it. When you hear forget about it, what do you think of? Brooklyn. Brooklyn, right? Yeah, it's a brand new.
Starting point is 01:04:35 No, I think it's a brand new. Forget about it, New Jersey is the most hated state in America. New Jersey. Why is it right, Dallas? They're jelly. They hate us because they ain't us. Keep that up. Why do they hate us cuz they ain't us
Starting point is 01:04:51 Why do they hate oh Jersey show really fucking dang you guys up? Yeah, really turns out New Yorkers were right all along New Jersey is the most hated state in America. I don't remember here in New York or something We talk about it. I know coming down to The fucking day the fuck out of Jersey Ten years of driving down here like a fucking asshole. You can't hate it that much. Have you heard some of the things that Brian Johnson's seen in New York? I can understand why he doesn't go up there. I go up there.
Starting point is 01:05:13 When I'm driving to New York and there's a fucking call with Jersey plates in front of me, I know I'm in for a fucking fuck shop of a time. I agree with you. This guy doesn't know how to drive. He goes below the speed limit. He's going fucking, he's got his blinker on. Jersey drives. Do you even use blinkers in New York I see the way to New Yorkers drive your fucking assholes. I've seen the way cute
Starting point is 01:05:34 Good worse than a Jersey plate in front of you nothing an old man. It doesn't matter Jersey plate an old man from Florida a Jersey plate is worse than I know lady from Florida Because at least I can look at him be like well, that's an old lady I get it But you get it fucking every every type of Jersey person we drive safe drive like fucking We want to get there It's so worth it's just the worst it's so depressing when you see Jersey playing in front of you like New Yorkers. Yeah, get somewhere so quick You're not gonna fucking important new New Yorkers. Yeah get somewhere so quick You're not gonna get the right
Starting point is 01:06:05 Every Story to right there is a little left-layered already but the blink is on and we all say we're like fucking Jersey There he goes this Jersey, you know what if you if we would stay out of New York if you fucking stop coming down here and fucking try and Crowning up our beaches during the summer. We can't I can't even go down to the fucking shore of my family. You guys build a fucking boardwalk and pull apart. It's a fucking trap. And everything man to draw people in and then you complain when people come.
Starting point is 01:06:31 No only people from New York. And it is I swear when New York people come around, I'm like Jesus fucking Christ man. Oh, they think they own it. They think they own the fucking area. They are the arrogance. Yes. Or you think you own it?
Starting point is 01:06:43 Yeah. What do you own it? I own the car that I'm driving that they're fucking holding me up in that much I know I love Jersey. I got nothing he gets Jersey. I love Jersey. That's why I'm surprised to say it's a hated state You got so many good things here. Yeah, let's see why they hate it. I've always been a big fan of Jersey I just I was I think I wish you moved I might I actually they have been discussions of moving out in New York. New York. I wish you moved I wish you moved to Jersey. It's loathed by most people in New York,
Starting point is 01:07:12 Pennsylvania and Connecticut giving it a hatred index of 818 that was calculated by the percentage of the population that has recently moved out of each state. So wait, so you moved here into Jersey, then get the fuck out again. You don't like it. I would like to. We got access to fucking precious New York. We got the shore. We got everything. Got Atlantic City. He was a fucking paradise. He was a fucking gem in the crown. No boy. Yeah, AC is not around. I'm forgetting AC.
Starting point is 01:07:47 We're a stones throw from Foxwoods. Tell him, Steve David.

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