Tell Em Steve-Dave - #460: Fat Tit
Episode Date: November 9, 2020Bry discovers he may not be a breeze of a friend. Should platonic buddies breed? Curse of the parrot....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The vritts are really getting, you know, a little, of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit disfigurement is worth to provide his lovers with pleasure
Tell him Steve Dave hello welcome to this week's edition of tell him Steve Dave We doggy is we got a whole bunch of show for you today. Don't we cue we do we doggy
Yeah, there you go. I knew that would get you excited
Nothing more exciting though than what Walt is about to say
Christmas is right around the corner cue. Oh, yeah, it is and the most beloved Christmas tradition and
Tom Steve Dave town has got to be the Christmas pod the Tom Steve Dave Christmas pod. Is there another Christmas tradition?
No, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, and we're going back to basics. Love this. No video, no green screen, no costumes.
Mm-hmm.
No...
Viggin' Chuck can tell the story of walking.
He did fell asleep.
Well, it's gonna be all audio, and it's gonna drop on Black Friday.
Wow, that is old school.
Going back to the tradition of Black Friday drop.
Oh, man, camp.
And on the Patreon.
So you can get it two ways.
Oh, people sublime on fan camp.
There's some people who aren't on Patreon
and that really wanted to have it released on Bandcamp.
So we've done that for the last couple of years,
but really trying to go and recapture that enthusiasm
and that like that starry-eyed you know
innocence that we had in the very first Christmas episode because it's just us
you mean when I was like does anyone have more pain killers
remember those days from the original Christmas episode it was just us and
Ming and Sunday Jeff yeah so we're bringing back Ming and Sunday Jeff and two more people to the table
Get them because you can't have Christmas
Yeah, and and my my new friend Tom
Tom's wooly is gonna be there too
Mary Beth feels that there's very bad feels that there's a real daddy love me rivalry between
Get them and Tom why Well, I did.
Did you have an episode here, Q? Say that.
No, she saw it.
When she was here, she saw it.
It's obvious.
Yeah, and I think Tom's winning.
Yeah, because sometimes even when I cut the show too, I'll just play out loud and
open the headphones on.
Because Tom doesn't irritate you ever, right?
Not at all.
Not once.
Where is...
Yeah, but I don't spend a lot of time with Tom.
You know, he just pops in for the Sunday Jeff episodes.
Little more, he'd annoy me.
I mean, it's more than likely he probably would
if we spent a lot of time, everybody does.
Sure, sure.
So it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary.
Wouldn't mean I disliked him if I found him annoying.
Yeah.
I mean, everybody in my life, I find that,
I find him annoying from time to time.
You just deal with that, that's called being a friend. So you would say that you find him annoying from time to time? from time to time. You just deal with that. That's called being a friend.
So you would say that you find getting them annoying
from time to time?
From time to time.
Sometimes when he's great.
But mainly he's great.
Yeah.
It's good to hear.
I don't know if you'd have that perspective about getting him.
Oh yeah, I mean.
He seems so put upon all the time.
Not, no, yeah.
I mean, I might just do that just for the sake of the podcast.
But more often than not, I really don't have any
feelings at all.
Yeah, Christmas Kist on Black Friday. Get Kist. You can try to bring some of the old school Christmas joy that we probably need now more than ever in
2020. I love it. I'm excited. Yeah. Do you think people will be more excited about this Christmas
than Christmas is before just because 2020's been so shitty? I hope not. I don't want them to
put a lot of... I mean in general just like the general. Yeah, I think there may be some expectations, but I really don't expect too much because,
you know, it'll be just as, you know, just as a...
It's gonna be the same show.
Yeah, it's gonna be everyone you're gonna do after all this time.
I mean, how many episodes? I mean, I don't know if anybody's done this many Christmas
specials. No, yeah.
Any form of entertainment.
This is what could be a level of an erroneous? professionals in any form of entertainment. We were in a double figure. A level thinner owner?
Yeah, I mean, what can you do?
What new things can you strip mine at this point?
There's nothing left.
I don't know if anybody has any,
well actually by the time this goes out,
they will be already be up.
They'll be recorded, yeah.
But there's some new tricks in the bad queue.
Yeah.
We want to reveal them now, but, you know.
Now we need people to sign up. Yeah.
Bandcamp and on Patreon. I do like that tradition of going to bandcamp and seeing the
cover work and it's at number one. I like seeing that. I also like seeing people sign up to Patreon.
patreon.com slash tell them, Steve, Dave. God damn it, we have a lot of shit up there. Oh my god.
I mean, there's so much content up there.
Now, I'm not positive of this, but like, say you sign up
today, you have access to every video.
You should, yeah.
Well, it's depending on if you're in a video tier year.
Right.
Like, if you join up to the $10 tier,
you're gonna have access to everything.
Join up to the $5 tier, you have access to a whole shitload
of stuff, but not everything now.
Right.
Almost everything.
God damn it. That's dealin' podcasting. It almost everything. That's dealing with podcasting.
It really is a good deal.
Because you also get all the merch you send out too.
If you're in a gift here, yeah.
Yeah, that's awesome, man.
Fucking Netflix is raising their prices and they don't send me anything.
I'm not going to Netflix hats in the mail.
Really they're raising their prices?
I heard, yeah, they're doing another bump.
They probably have to after that cuties debacle. They make billions of dollars a month. Billions.
How do they need to raise this? Bandwidth. Bandwidth. But they make billions. You just
see how much we pay in bandwidth Q. It's obscene. Oh really? Oh my god. And that's why when
people on Patreon are like, why can't we have the video? It's like because it costs so
much money. The production of the video.'t we have the video? It's like because it costs so much money.
The production of the video, the hosting of the video.
I make a request, anybody out there who works for Vimeo
that listens to Tom Steve Dave, you know,
if you can work something out, you know,
maybe you can get a Tom Steve Dave lunchbox.
Yeah, maybe.
Or a lamp.
Or a pussy.
You know, aosies are sweet.
Yeah.
If you have anyone out there who got an in with Vimeo, let us know because they're
raping us.
Are they?
Yeah, it's insane.
They want us to pay 10 times more than what we've paid.
What?
Yeah.
10 times more than what we've paid in the last two years because of the amount of bandwidth
we're using.
They say it's crazy what we're using in bandwidth.
Which is good in a way, but also terrible and a financial
way. 10 times more than what we pay. 10 times. That's why I'm like,
hey man, if anybody out there works for Vimeo, we'll keep it a
secret if you focus up. And I'm sorry, but you know how good
the fucking shit has to be that we're able to keep doing this
and it just becomes more and more like we just need more and
more bandwidth.
It speaks to the quality of it, I think, right?
People wanna see more.
And that's not why we're not going with video
for the Christmas kiss, you know.
That was definitely not right, we're not doing video.
This is where we're in the old chat to go fuck himself.
We're too proud to call it back.
It's definitely not because we're paying
a scene amount of money to Vimeo, you know. See, I had the same idea. I was like, wow, be so nice if we don't have to go through the whole
rigmarole of the Christmas thing. And then you almost immediately texted me and was like,
hey, I didn't know this was your ulterior motive. I was thinking the same thing. It would be nice to
just a couple of us sit there and just, you know, like it doesn't have to be a six hour extra
of a cancer. And I just think it'll be nice to have your drop on on
black Friday, like midnight on Thanksgiving night.
I mean, that is that's bringing back something that I think
will make people's eyes water.
When they hear this right now, I'm thinking hopefully,
I'm building it up.
It definitely will.
There's no doubt about it.
Did you guys see Borat?
I did. What think you like it
I thought there was I thought there was a couple parts that made me smile. I didn't really laugh out loud though
No in the whole thing now. I thought the girl was so fucking good as to almost out borat borat
Hey, she stole the movie from she really did right? She was flawless
Unbelievable how how she maintained yeah, I stole the movie from it. She really did, right? She was flawless. Unbelievable how she maintained.
Yeah, I liked the movie.
I liked it.
I don't think it hit the highs of the first one.
But it did do that same thing that Bill and Ted did for me, which was like, it's kind
of cool seeing this guy again after all this time.
You know, I'm that age now, where you get older.
It used to be better. But I really, I like seeing Borat where you get all the views to be better.
But I really, I like seeing Borat again.
I like the storyline they did.
I think they pulled off something spectacular.
I like that they changed the tactics of the movie.
Wasn't about making other people look stupid.
Like, you know, like even the two Trump guys that he lived with
came off really likable and nice.
Like he didn't try and roast them and stuff like that. Those two guys that had shacked up with there in the past.
I mean, there was moments where they definitely put, put, put, put, put, put, put, but when
Borat needed them, not when Borat needed them, like, they were there for them and they went
up to his daughter and pleaded with his daughter for them and said, like, they were invested
in him and wanted to help them. And I was like, to me, that makes them kind of likeable, I thought.
I felt that, like, I loved that Ali G show, that was on the FBO.
I thought that was like, unbelievable.
I'd never seen anything like it.
I just fell in love with it.
But I know I'm a minority here, but I didn't really like Borat, the first movie.
And I felt like the same kind of feeling from the second one too
was just kind of like it's interesting and it definitely kept my interest but I never really left
like where I was like oh my god that is so fucking awesome the the Ali G show right version
well Ali G was so funny he was just he was awesome yeah but you know I mean it's uh
definitely uh I mean it had to do fucking amazing numbers, right?
Streaming.
I think so.
I think it did really well.
Yeah.
It was funny.
It was, I thought it was funny.
I thought she was so good, then that she justified the existence of that movie to me.
She's got to have a huge career after this, right?
She should.
I mean, she, as long as it's in cringe, I mean, if you can do cringe humor, you are one of the most confident
people on earth, right?
I mean, you look at that same, like Nathan for you or Boi.
With Julie Annie, right?
Where he pulls her into the hallway and they have an argument and he's arguing with his
daughter in the hallway and Julie Annie's right there.
I'm like, this girl's 24 years old.
This is how talented she is.
She is playing a character who's playing a character
and she has the wherewithal to keep it together while dooping Giuliani and do whatever she's doing
as Giuliani and lying to him and then getting in there and she's still in character with her
father in the hallway and then goes back into the scene with Giuliani and seduces him. I'm like,
well do you know that wasn't filmed later.
It was right there. He just pulled the puller into the to the thing there. Give it. How do you know that? I mean, I mean, I you could be right. I just don't remember.
Oh, I certain that these all these films, all these scenes were filmed in sequential order.
I think so because it was still in the hotel room with Juliani.
But it was one one camera where did they follow her, follow her in. I can't read.
I mean, they could just go into the hallway and shoot that scene at
Any point though after Juliani's gone maybe but it was in the it looked to me like it was the same room
I don't know me, you know either way
Everything she did was fucking great. I
Like she she maintained the character throughout really tough situations
Maybe you know because I don't believe that they ran out of the hotel room and they stopped in the alley and they had that
You know they had that real nice. No, no, no that no, that I had to be filmed at a different point in a day.
I agree.
But the Giuliani stuff, it just seemed like they were in the room at the same time with
them.
Got you.
But even if they weren't, it was, it was, she was so good.
Giuliani and his camper pretty annoyed about the whole like being like lying back on the
bed and he was tucking in his shirt, but it looks like he's jerking off.
I don't know what he was doing. I don't know what he was doing.
I don't know what he was doing.
It appeared like he's,
because he had a shirt out,
it looks like he's tucking in a shirt.
But to me, that's not the point.
The point is everything that came before that,
where he's touching her back, he touched her hip.
He's like, and it's like enough,
like how old do you think Giuliani is?
He's 70s, right?
70, at what point are you
allowed to just manhandle women and it's like well he's an old guy I don't
think there is a point that you could do that so there's no hard fast
age that has to be it's up to each guy well look I think that no matter what
what am I old enough to manhandle you I want to know wanna know. I think it's more his position, he should.
But did he, I mean, look, it was weird seeing the watch.
I felt like, oh my God.
They had to be just like beyond like disbelief
that he did this, right?
When they're trying to get them and they get them
and he does all this fucked up shit,
they had to be like, like, this is like getting Moby Dick.
I don't know, but what did he,
like my thing is like, if you take the fact
that it's Juliannie out of it, I'm like
What did he do that was that he wasn't touching his dick?
He looked like he was touching his dick.
That's not even the part I think.
They show it from three different angles. They restart the footage. That's why it looks like his hands going and coming.
Is he lying on a bed?
He should have done it.
I'm saying that right there is like, I've done a couple interviews for some documentaries
that kept me right.
Never once on a long,
and to a good,
and to a bad,
yeah, bro.
It is weird, they did the same thing with Ron Paul
where he's sitting on a bed
and what's his name.
Was it Bruno?
Coming on to Ron Paul.
I think it was Bruno.
Yeah, it was Bruno.
Did you see Bruno?
I did, all I hated that one.
I hated Bruno.
I hated that one. Yeah, that one was even worse than the two-bore-out movies. You didn't like Bruno? I did, all I hated that one. I hated Bruno. I hated that one.
Yeah, that one was even worse than the two boring movies.
You didn't like Bruno?
What was it?
Oh, it was so just like, I was so sick of the character.
I'm smarter than you.
Yeah.
That one is a little too much in your face.
I mean, there's funny shit in it.
And your buddy Paul Abdul came off, not looking great.
Oh, I thought she looked came off.
She used to be Mexican as a fucking foot. She was clearly
sitting on him or just in a situation. But how was it presented to her? I'm sure it was presented to
her like this is what these guys do. The he's human furniture. Would you sit on? Yeah, Paul
Abdul comes in for an interview in some very fancy mansion, like some big mansion and Bruno's I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry going on? I guess I'm supposed to do this, but it's like your poll app,
do it, I'll be like, how about doing that?
Yeah, I remember, that's how little I remember the movie.
I just remember not digging in though.
But what are you gonna say?
Like why would you not sit on it?
If that guy's making the choice to be that furniture,
I don't know, I think there's a personal choice you can make.
You don't have to sit on another human being,
especially a Mexican guy dressed as a gardener.
Now if it's some fucking rich waspie mother fuckers,
you know, then okay.
Well, it's racist, then.
Of course, it's racist.
What, you kidding me?
All I know is like, if there's somebody who's,
who's all their life,
I'm feeling somebody is fucking human furniture at their.
I will, you know what?
I'm gonna talk about this.
I have here's the case.
I'm applying.
You got it at Burrow. Oh, what's that? You got it at Burrow. I want you know what I'm gonna talk about this I have the king some applying
You got it at burrow remember that remember that couch company that
We tried so hard to win them back to them in got them trended got it trended them on Twitter And they still were like fuck off. They can't take a joke burrow. Yeah, well now look at you. You're out of business. Are they?
Can't take a joke, bro. Yeah, well, now look at you.
You're out of business.
Are they?
No.
I'm out of business.
But yeah, I do that.
I've seen it was hard to watch.
It was like, come on.
It was just cringey from beginning to end.
You know, he's like, ha, ha.
And that's the thing.
It's wise to go into any situation
with a female thinking, like, they're not going to like me.
They're not going to.
Guys get one over very easily with a little bit of flirtation.
I guess especially the older you get
because you're like somebody likes me,
somebody who doesn't look like me.
Yeah, basically me.
Yeah, a female version of me.
I'm not gonna tell how desperate though people are for,
they will fucking lose their mind if someone gives them attention
though.
They'll do things that like, you know, they'll just get caught up in it, you know, especially
he looks like the dude in Raiders of the Lost Ark when his face is melted.
Like, like right before all the blood starts to see better that guy's face, that's what
he looks like.
Yeah, it's like you're the president's attorney.
Like, don't go into a bedroom with a girl.
If he's saying don't I don't know. I don't know. He married his cousin.
Because what are we saying? If he is single, he's not fucking supposed to go into a room with a woman who's got interest in him.
If it's in that situation, just cover your ass. Just cover your ass and beat me.
Of course. Of course.
Be sure. Yeah, don't roll around. But take the cameras out of the situation.
Take the cameras out of the situation. Like, like, what is he supposed to do if some pretty
girl is showing him interest and is like, why don't you come have a drink in my room?
Uh, mate, once the cameras go dark and you're not being recorded sure.
So then it's just about public perception. Yeah, definitely.
Yeah, okay. Yeah. I got a story story here I want to talk to you guys about.
If you don't mind. I don't know. There's this new thing on the rise. It's called
platonic co-parenting. Cool. You know, especially with with the lockdown now, you know, people are
not willing to wait for the one, the quote unquote one. Yeah.
So now people are looking to find people
to have a baby with and then just share the child with
and they don't, but they're not in love.
Or just having the baby the old fashioned way?
I think that you have two options,
the old fashioned way and the new scientific way.
Stay safe.
Let's talk about this.
Would you be willing to have a child with me?
How about me?
Not even me.
Your ex-husband, not even me.
Jesus.
You know, you're divorced woman.
Next to you now, she's onto the Poltonic parenting.
Now, this, this article that I saw
paints it in a very like, you know,
this is the new way of moving forward like this.
And if you don't agree here and not see it.
But I'm like Hitler didn't like, looks on a fair any other.
But I like how can you raise a child with your buddy?
If the two parents aren't in love though.
How can you?
I don't know, that's my medmer.
Have we got you a list of references?
But I think it has two strikes going against,
it being a healthy living environment
or the child not being fucked up.
If right out of the bat, you put it out on Main Street
that like, oh no, your father and I are just platonic.
We may not even, we don't know even friends.
We just had this, we just had you together
so we could fulfill this need.
It's not about you, just calm down, kid.
It's not about you.
It's about me and your father or mother
who had to have a fucking kid so desperately.
We just had to fucking pass on our genetics
because we're so fucking great.
You're so great.
That we had, we did, we're not in love,
and we didn't even have sex.
We used a new scientific way and now here we are.
I'm like, I'm not sure that I think that's a good idea.
I think you're horrible.
I do agree with you.
You're raising children in an environment
without seeing two loving parents.
And guess what, we don't need more people.
Enough people have been manufactured.
Look around you.
There are way too many fucking people that you're like,
I can't wait for the one because we've had coronavirus for 10 months.
You found them once.
Right.
And you know what?
We're not going to have a kid.
Because we don't need one.
We don't need another one with the fucking black cloud over them.
I'm going to continue that shit.
I want the Johnson bloodline to die for me.
Was this discussed at length before the proposal?
And was this something you got out of the way?
Like, I want to make sure that you were on the same page or it is this.
How does this come about that you know this about her?
Because she tells me there's no fucking way I want a kid.
Really?
Yeah, she is really...
Why is she so anti-child?
She doesn't like him, she doesn't like children.
She doesn't like children?
In general, she doesn't like children.
The other day she was like,
I don't like children, other than cute.
Oh yeah, fucking kids.
What is there to like about kids?
Yeah, she just is like, I don't want to have a kid.
I don't want to raise a kid.
I don't actually kind of wants to do her own thing.
She's not maternal in any respect.
She's good with Sage, like playing video games
and that kind of stuff.
She's good with her in school work.
She really likes Sage, because she has to.
She's got no choice.
Uh-huh.
I mean, she's like, that sounds like a crosser,
so like, cold and clinical, She likes sage because she has to
Yeah, she's got no choice in the matter like if she didn't like sage. She wouldn't be we wouldn't be together
So that they have a good relationship is means a lot. I mean, okay. All right. Yeah, I don't I don't mean that like she has to treat her as her own kid or whatever
But I it's isn't it proven that kids raised, because this whole platonic friendships
and now these friends are gonna live together forever?
Or they don't even live together.
So they don't just share custody.
Yeah, they share custody.
It seems like it's gonna work out really well.
What a fucking stupid selfish idea.
Uh, I think it's like everything else.
I think that with the right people, it would probably be fine.
But I think that very few people would have the emotional
maturity to pull that off.
I don't think it's gonna affect the kid
any worse than some shitty marriages I've ever seen.
Right, because there's, like you said,
there's a lot of marriages that aren't all that loving
and they have children and they expose them the things
that probably could be way worse than a platonic kid may see.
I think so, so I think it just comes out to the people.
I've never understood the argument for having kids.
But I mean, there is something to this though.
Think about it, if you're gonna have a kid
and you're not living with the child
and you're splitting that kid,
then you're kind of getting your cake and eating it too,
because you have a child
with someone who's not riding your fucking balls
all the time, and also you don't have the child
with you, presumably 50% of the time.
But isn't that, why do you have kids then?
Yeah, I don't want to spend time with you.
I'm with you.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like I cannot understand the mindset of somebody
who purposely has kids, which would prevent them from
doing what they want to do at any given time, which possibly is as selfish if not more so than
somebody who is having it, bringing a kid into the world and they're just
It's affecting me and I'm upfront and it's not affecting anybody else. It's not like I give in
and have a kid and then I'm like, oh, I wish I never had this kid.
Right. Not affecting anybody else, it's not like I give in and have a kid and then I'm like, oh, I wish I never had this kid.
Talk about how much legal work is there to have this kid do between the, like, I mean,
it's got to be worse than buying a house, right?
And that falls apart.
How can a fall apart, you're platonic.
Yeah, but then if one person's like, hey, I don't like this other bitch you're bringing
around the kids, I don't like this guy you're bringing around the kids and then it's a whole
thing.
I just can't imagine like they can't just fucking wait.
You can't just wait until you find somebody that you actually want to have a kid with.
Yeah, to me, I feel it is being selfish though for the parents to be like,
you know, I want this so badly that I'm willing to roll the dice that this will work out.
Yeah.
Because I want to be a parent.
And I would think odds are against it.
I would think so. But it. I would think so.
But you've read this article though.
It was like the fucking, this was the solution
to everyone's problems though.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Where did you read it?
Like fucking slate or fucking plus fee or some shit?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Fucking garbage, what's that?
I'm sorry.
Because for me, I was in a restaurant.
So you're by the old half-posed.
Woo! What's going on here? Oh, everything's awful. I was in a restaurant. So you're by the old Hufflepoles.
Ooh, what's going on here?
Oh, everything's awful.
Yeah, it was one of those ones.
It bummed me out though, because I was just like,
man, if that's the way it's going, no.
I don't know if it's going to make things better
in like before to raise kids in that environment either.
But then again, like you said, though,
there's no real easy answer, though. think as far as like family kids go, I think Walt may have the most solid family unit out of anyone I know.
Yeah, but I mean, but that's a paint that's like you see a snippet here or a snippet there.
Oh yeah, I can't, I don't like to get these emails from people though.
They're like, like that, like that just like, like I want your opinion, I want your like to get these emails from people though. They're like, they're like, just like,
like, I want your opinion, I want your advice
and all fatherly things, like I'm fucking,
like I'm the greatest dad that ever far self
is father-bond Flanagan.
I know, like, that is a joke on a podcast though.
You know, like, I talk like I'm the fucking
alpha male comic book selling dude.
That is, but there's no such thing farther
from the truth, like I'll pump up like the fact that, like, oh yeah, I'm not joking alpha male comic book selling dude. That is, but there's no such thing farther from the truth.
Like I'll pump up like the fact that like,
oh yeah, I'm not joking, I saw comics.
It's a joke.
You're like, you like, so for the people to be like,
I need your advice, I'm having a child
and I don't know if I want to have this baby,
but I hear you talk, so I think it'll be great now
because of the way we're hearing you.
And I'm like, you really can't take what I say
and put and make it like
frame it around that like now you're gonna have the same experiences though because I said
something on a podcast.
My kids are awesome because it's probably gonna be a shit nagging.
Yeah, yeah, it's tough though because like I guess people only see a snippet though and
they fill in all the holes that
of what really goes on and what really,
what it's not just fucking shooting a video
with my kids and thinking like,
oh, I could do that too.
There's a lot more that goes into it, you know?
What's the biggest issue you've had, do you think?
Like, say within the past year, like with either of them,
because it just seems like they're so well behaved.
Just getting too old.
So that's the problem, you're like, they're getting too old, and you're like, I wanna spend time with them. Yeah, because it just seems like they're so old. Just getting too old. Just getting too old. So that's the problem you're like they're getting to all the things that
you're like, I want to spend time with them. Yeah, I was
I was I was that's a problem. Oh, yeah, I was at a restaurant,
I saw a family with like three or four, no, that five kids,
all the same age. And I was just like, I wish that we had five
kids. And you know, I wish that we didn't stop. But that they
be a fucking platonic friend. Yeah're gonna call for that. I don't know.
I've never again.
Yeah, but that, like, because they were all young
and they don't, and I don't think they realized,
like, how quickly that goes away,
because they were like so higred about it.
Like, there was the one that the mother was telling the father
to bring the kid, the boy into the bathroom,
and he was fucking shooting her dirty looks,
and he was yelling at her, you know, that, you know,
because the other one wasn't sitting down,
and the other one was talking to another table.
And it's just like they're so like wrapped up in like,
making sure everything's perfectly at the table.
It's like that doesn't fucking matter.
Yeah.
You're at friendlies.
Who gives a fuck?
You're not, yeah, you're not at fucking flamage array
or fucking char?
Yeah, Goddamn it.
If you know what he would,
you would hear it from me if you were.
I don't even hear that shit.
Nobody at friendlies expects your kids
to fucking behave like fucking angels.
Like, however they're behaving, that's what people experience.
Yeah, they were so stressed out that, you know,
it was just like, I wanted to go over and be like,
you know, don't worry about it, but like,
they would have, I would look like such a lunatic though.
They call me Father.
I'm not German.
I'm not German.
Yeah, I'm not German. You're waiting.
I'll take your kid into the bathroom.
Straight about once a couple.
You'll be fine.
I'm like a helpful, I'm sick.
Oh boy. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, effort is more about than what's touching your skin. It's about feeling comfortable in your skin. Here, this must be for you.
Walt, you're a total badass.
And what you should wear,
should only accentuate the fact.
I don't know.
Yeah, like, after all these years,
if people listening don't realize,
I'm not a total badass,
and then you're, then you're clueless, you shouldn't have a kid.
And by meandies.
Oh, wait, they've got a 2020 pledge.
I guess this is a, okay, here you go.
Mjondi's gives an initiative that supports those who have systemic barriers to their self-expression.
By shopping, by shopping Mjondi's you support such causes as LGBTQ plus communities, mental
health and well-being and women's rights.
Good for me, Andes, they're being nice.
So, remember where you're wearing at the moment?
Meandes, come on, give me a break.
I've got 45 pairs.
What else am I going to wear?
And what else am I going to wear?
Because they're silky and they're made of mudal.
And they don't feel all burlapy and brusque against your skin.
Does it make you feel like you're sitting out?
Come on, goddam, with this stuff.
Mjundi's offers classic colors to ridiculous prints.
It's also you can fully express yourself in your own unique way.
And they're available on a range of sizes from extra small to 4xL.
That's this community they've been serving the whole time
from the very petite to the large, right?
Mjundi's believes you and your butt deserve comfort inside and out,
and that's why they created the Mjundi's membership.
It's a great way to love on yourself.
Each month, replenish your basics with styles that are anything but basic.
You enjoy discounted pricing, controlled shipping, and exclusive early access.
So Mjundi's has a great offer for the listeners.
Any first-time purchasers, you get 15% off of free shipping,
and they have their problem-free philosophy. This, meandese, if you're not satisfied
with any product for any reason, they'll refund or exchange it. No caveats, no questions.
Get your 15% off your first order and I've been writing out thank you cards.
Ooh. And like some of the people like Mary Beth wrote a whole bunch there to like the fucking DJ into this one.
It's a personal eyes like little note. It's not just a standard like thank you
for your wonderful gift.
Right, everyone,
why everyone that I'm writing
is personally a person to that person.
Yeah.
And it made me think of like,
as I was writing it out,
it made me think of a long, long time ago
when Caitlin was being christened.
Yeah.
And it was.
Godfather.
Yeah, and it was down at Debbie's parent's house, but down in Highlands atistened. Yeah. And it was Godfather. Yeah, and it was down at Debbie's parents' house,
but down in Highlands at the time. Yeah. I brought a card. I can't remember if I put a
check in it, knowing me at the time. Maybe not. But anyway, I brought a card. And on the front
of the card, it was a little black boy and a little white girl, and they're holding hands.
Uh-huh. And on the inside of the card, I no matter what your father says there's nothing wrong with
this picture. And as I was thinking about that and writing out a card to somebody I was like
it must be taxing at times to be my friend. Because I thought back and I was like not only did
did I write that and give it to him he immediately puts it away because what I didn't know was that
one of Debbie's relatives was in a mixed marriage, a mixed marriage, and they were there at the time
so he immediately hit this girl the way. I don't have any problem with it obviously. I just think
it's funny to say, but it seemed like at the time maybe it wasn't funny, it was improper. But I can write anything I want on these thank you cards.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, there you go.
And I am.
But I'm trying to keep a wall,
since I've never given you,
remember I also went, you guys were nice enough
to come to Sage's party and I wrote that card
as if it were from Sage and your kids were little enough
that they thought Sage wrote.
Yeah.
I've got us keeping our jackets on and trying to...
I'm trying to buy the door.
...to try to buy the door to make us quick as X is possible.
Uh, I thought about that too and I gotta say it still makes me laugh.
I don't know why.
Yeah, that's funny.
I don't know.
That's funny, but like the first one is not funny.
The first one is just like...
Like the first one, I...
The first one, but it's not appropriate.
It's inappropriate, yeah, right.
Like I don't think I would do it today.
I can't guarantee it,
but I don't think I would do it today.
I don't know,
but thanks for staying my friend after all these
fucking stupid things I do.
It really doesn't mean a lot.
Cause, you know,
cause sometimes I don't,
it's been,
now that I'm on medication,
I think I'm better at controlling impulses, but before, like,
sometimes I'm like, well, this is, well, not it, but maybe not because I wrote all that
stuff into the wedding bells.
Yeah, but you're not changing your whole personality because you're taking a pill or you're
just, we're going impulse control, that's all.
Yeah.
Impulse control was like burrow.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Like, to not, well, I guess I did have a week.
Yeah.
Like simmering.
Yeah, we can't believe it.
Like simmering.
You're not a fuck.
Say our heads aren't good enough for me.
Like something that shouldn't bother you at all.
Something you should agree with.
You should have been like, yeah, I can see why
they didn't like that ad.
They're totally right.
Totally right. It wasn't even anything mildly insulting, but you you just you couldn't take it. I couldn't take it. Yeah, because I'm like
Well, who the fuck are they yeah, I don't know I wouldn't say I look I've always been a big, you know
Supporter of yours a booster of yours. I never thought you had probably biggest throughout my life. Yeah, I don't the I never thought you had a change all that much
The biggest throughout my life. Yeah, I don't think I never thought you had a change all that much
Just a little bit here in there. It was all it was all about keeping you happy not about changing you Like it wasn't like we got to change you so that you
Make those so you don't make those jokes anymore. I like those jokes
It's it's your impulse control was getting in the way of your own happiness and that was where
It's your impulse control was getting in the way of your own happiness.
And that was where, speaking of myself,
that was where the change needed to be.
Like you need to just adjust it
so you're not self-destructing.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And it seems like, mission accomplished.
Yeah, I'm doing all right.
I can't remember the last time I heard you.
I am says I'm doing all right.
I am says you're happy.
Your own brother is like this is the fuck stuff.
Why is he happy?
Yeah, I don't think, I don't know that Darn will ever get married.
I don't think my my sister's boyfriend wants to marry her.
Eric after this recent, uh, this recent marriage, who knows what's up for him.
So that that was Eric.
He was saying that was the Johnson curse new to Johnson siblings have ever been married at
the same time.
So yeah.
Uh, I hope they need to get divorced eventually to open up.
I hope he's too much of a catch. He's there. Oh yeah. Oh, little duck. He's really. Yeah,
he's too much of a catch. He's a he's a person. A cool guy. Yeah. He's nice. He's got a good job.
I almost just fucked up. Yeah, he's got scars, which are cool
Yeah, he should say he got it in a fight or something. I was like I was protecting some marginalized person
Somebody's somebody was trying to express himself, but they weren't allowed to
So I that's that's the problem with America. Nobody can express themselves
There's not enough avenues for people to tell you what the fuck they think.
Here. What else do I got? Oh, uh, Walt, I had off of that, that card thing I was thinking, it's only for a weekend.
It's only for a weekend, but we do tell them Steve Dave wife swap. Now that I'm married, you don't think Deb would go for it?
I think I'm a fun person to be around.
Why?
Name me one good reason why she wouldn't want to hang out with me over the weekend.
I wouldn't, I just don't think it would go well.
You know what?
I think we should move on. All right. All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Was there a conversation had on the way back from the wedding?
All right.
Did you tell her I agreed with her that you should have said something?
Uh, no.
No.
No.
No.
It's in a wife's swap, fine.
Can you please get married so you can wife swap?
You got it, fine. Or maybe get swap. You got it fun or maybe get him
It's getting weird to get him leave
His wife is still listening. They're meant to spend a weekend sleeping on the cricket then
See I mean the reason I would want a wife swap with Walters because I know Debbie wouldn't want to but then I would win her over
I guarantee I could win her over all those those decades of her being like this motherfucker,
all I'm done in one week and I've got you.
Yeah.
I'm sure that's why I don't want you to,
because you would definitely win or over.
Well, not what say she wants to be my wife,
I'm saying she's not the huge asshole I thought he was.
He's still an asshole, don't get me wrong.
Let's see.
Walt a councilman in the UK was asked to remove his outdoor Halloween decorations because
they were detrimental to the mental health of kids.
And 2020 is terrifying enough.
Now when I show you these decorations, there's nobody.
There's a lot of green lit house.
Yeah, it's a green lit house.
There's a community spider. Those are green lit house. Yeah, it's a green lit house. There's a car. That mean any spider there's just those are generic.
They're party city skeletons.
Yeah, wow.
It's not like anybody's hanging anybody's dismembered.
Yeah, that's being a little gratuitous with with your complaint.
This is in England.
This is in England.
Yeah, there's some ghosts right there.
God, we're going to lose the
next world war. I mean, can you imagine? I don't even want to say, pacified. It's a complete insult
to the female anatomy. I just can't imagine the fucking idiot who who thinks like and voices.
Like, can you imagine voicing that? I think three three witches holding hands and not even scary witches.
They don't even look like real people.
They live with Wizard of Oz pop like puppets.
That is crazy.
Well, that's a problem when you when you when you we've created the world where
everybody's opinion has to be like you're just like, well,
I was somebody saying it, so we have to weigh it.
You have to wait.
There's a fucking news story because one person was like, I think this is opinion has to be like you're just like well somebody saying it so we have to weigh it. You have to wait.
There's a fucking news story because one person was like I think this is detrimental to
children.
Now one they fuck this person and they're fucking opinion.
They don't say.
They just fuck them and they're fucking opinion.
I agree.
They don't say whether this person had kids that complain but I'm sure they did but can
you imagine being that fucking bitch's kid?
Oh God.
Can you imagine that shit?
She's like, it's too scary.
Isn't 2020 scary enough?
Yes, jerk off.
That's why you have a bunch of fucking fake ghosts
and witches to take kids' minds off of us.
Real, which is the fucking coronavirus, dumbass.
I don't know, holy fuck.
Let's not celebrate Christmas either.
I don't know.
What's going on, Britain?
Because I also have-
Did I say Christmas?
Oh, that's wrong, too.
Go ahead. But the Brits are really getting you know a little
you know
woosey because
They removed parrots in a wildlife park
because they swore at visitors
Wouldn't that be like like the old you could talk about?
That's why I go yeah
like like the old you could talk about. That's why I go.
Well, yeah, right.
You got to go.
This is parody.
Because you're paying cocks under it.
You're paying cocks under it.
I feel like that's the most parody for you.
There was a five foul mouthbirds.
Nice.
That one wall.
I didn't do it.
I was reading here.
There were fouls.
They were donated to a Lincolnshire Wildlife Park
in Eastern England.
And within days of them being donated,
they were swearing at the visitors and the staff at the park.
I get called the fat tit every time I walk past said.
Welcome to my world.
But yeah, I would be like, like, if that happened,
and like if I brought my kids there,
like, that would be all we could talk about for years later.
You're awesome.
I mean, that would be the lasting memory
of the fucking visit.
Yeah.
Like, what is wrong with people?
Were they snapped these birds and that
because something like that, they were like,
well, they removed them.
They removed them.
They're through them in the trash can.
Yeah.
I think they just, and they also removed their tongue,
so they can never speak again.
I don't know.
Yeah.
But listen to this, they even gave visitors,
they're their donations back to the park because of these birds.
And it doesn't say what they were saying, like what the curse is.
What are the words, Tit?
It's Tit even that bad.
Or Twatt, maybe I don't know.
Like, don't they say Twatt over there?
They say T.
Because it says T, asterisk, asterisk, T.
So I mean, it could be Twat or two. Well, it's three letters
So it's gonna be dead. Okay. What's a twat in England?
What is a twat? Yeah, it's the same thing. It's like pussy. Can't look at this twat. Mm-hmm. Oh
So it literally means a body part two and also like a dickhead
Yeah, I think it's just like a well like in the UK. I think a woman's
Pulse is her fanny, right?
Is that how it goes?
It's one of the things they say,
but Twad is definitely for the vagina.
So in it.
So they call it in America, we call it a fanny,
but in, it's the opposite side.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wonder why, I wonder how that happened.
I know, we invented this shit.
Where are they changing?
I don't know if you're ever hearing.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
Say Fanny though in America anymore.
Wow.
Yeah, so I don't know, Q.
I know you're adoptive countries seemingly getting a little soft.
It's all going downhill, bro.
Not like America.
Ooh, boy.
We're not soft.
No, not.
I mean, we're softened as much as like if you hear something it immediately upsets you like
If you hear it like you hear somebody
Got stabbed or shot it immediately upsets you without hearing anything if you hear that somebody said something or made a joke 20 years ago
Or like people are so
Now ready to just fuck up like Like what? What? Like they're
more fucking confrontational and ready to fucking like than I've ever been in my life.
Like these, these fucking people are nuts. Yeah, but I don't think it's, like I said, but
Q's always said, I just think it's online. I don't think it's real. I don't think it's
you anybody you come into contact with on a daily basis though. No, not that kind of
stuff, but I do wonder when like, look, I don't want to see anybody get shot.
I don't.
But when somebody's shooting at you and then the cops shoot
back and they hit you, look man, come on.
I mean, come on.
And then you tear the whole city apart because someone was
shoot like, again, what would you do differently?
If somebody was shooting at me, I have a couple guns.
Why would fucking shoot back?
Why isn't there like body armor though,
that cops can wear so they can never get shot again?
It's day and age.
It could dress like Batman and that.
Why isn't that just available everywhere?
We'll address that in a second.
Can we fucking move past shooting people in the leg too?
It is not a practical way to take somebody down.
Stop saying shoot somebody in the leg. You sound is not a practical way to take somebody down. Stop saying
shoot somebody in the leg, you sound like an asshole when you say it. Okay, go ahead.
I just don't know why we don't have like, remember those guys that robbed the bank years ago?
Oh yeah, they had all that like, like, body. Yeah, they're like this Italian like dudes who came in
and they had like this unbelievable body armor. That was in early 2000. Yeah.
and they had like this unbelievable body armor. That was in early 2000.
Yeah.
How the fuck is this,
not every police officer have that armor?
They were sitting there and bullets were bouncing off
and like they were fucking.
Yeah, they eventually got killed though.
Yeah, but they had to get heavier artillery though.
They were so fucking long and they shot a bunch of cops.
I mean, you would see they were like shooting popcorn
kernels at them.
Like that's how they were staying there
with real bullets being shot at them.
1998.
Yeah, but you think the cops are supposed to just allow just absorb bullets from people?
No, but I'm just saying though that like if you had this kind of armor though,
yeah, you wouldn't you wouldn't be in danger though. Uh, I guess, but at the same time, it's like,
what does that mean though? Like, all right, so you're not in danger, so you shouldn't shoot back?
I'm just saying maybe there's a different tactic than if you know that the bullets can't
impenetrate your armor.
Sure.
Then there may not need to be, to use lethal force then.
But somebody who's firing wildly at you, whether you're a bulletproof or not, is still
putting people in danger, like you have to take them down.
That's true.
Yeah, but maybe you could take them down. I
Don't shoot them in a leg
Tell them Steve Dave
I wish we have one more ad and 20 more minutes
Can't disagree. I'll move it to the end of the episode if you want, but we've been going
40 minutes.
That was good though.
What's the ad?
Uh, what do we got? We got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, we got, policy geniuses life insurance right it's all kinds of insurance it sounds like
a daunting task but if you've got loved ones that depend on you it's also
really important that's why I have to get it so I can fake my own death and
make those guys some money policy genius makes it easy they combine a cutting
edge insurance marketplace with help from license experts can you stop
your first second I'm sorry to interrupt, but if there's one person on the fucking planet
That I would pick to try to fool policy genius and faking their own death. I think there's only one guy I would go to
Get him Steve Dave. I think get him could pull it off
He's almost off the fucking grid with his real name anyway, right?
I think he could pull it off. I think he's smart enough, if I gave him like six months to pull it off, I think he could do it. So we should get
an life insurance policy on getting him. Why do we have to fake it then? Because we don't
want to pay out now. Right. But I mean, like let's say, we don't want to be really dives.
Let's say, no, I'm just saying we hope it alone All right to get that you know, I 148 IQ
Is it should be all the policy genius it can't fucking we can't stand up to that no policy genius is gonna be a log
Look, we'll look we helped them find the life insurance policy guide you guys pay up
That's the way it is and that's the brilliance about policy geniuses. They're gonna be your middleman, right?
They make it easy they
You can save 50% or more by using policy genius
to compare life insurance.
So we save money and we make money off of them.
Right.
On average, Q, how many people successfully,
you'll never know the answer,
but if you had to guess,
how many people successfully faked
their own death for the insurance money?
Who?
In today's world, and per year,
how many you think is it less than 10? Is it less than five? I would say more than 10. I know there's more than 10. I think it's ingenuity
You don't think you that's what people do man. They just fucking find ways around this shit. Yeah smart motherfuckers out there
But if they really think that they have private detectives they have law enforcement on their side
I think it's hard. Yeah
A lot of people can't even get away with work comp cases where they're like,
hey, this person hurt their arm and then they're like at the bowling league.
But those are fucking dope, so.
Assholes.
Not like, get them Steve Dave,
ain't gonna fucking be caught at the bowling alley when he's supposed to be dead.
But what if he's feeding horses?
You know, and they're like, well, well,
you get them Steve Dave,
you get the money back from Brian Walt.
Let's see, once you apply the policy genius tape team, the money back from Brian Walt.
Let's see, once you apply the policy genius tape team will handle all the paperwork and
red tape and the best part is they work for you, not the insurance company, the great
bastards.
I say, we do.
We shave his beard and die as hair blonde and we say, that's just twin brother.
That's a good idea.
I'm gonna do that anyway.
But he pretends like his IQ is around 80 or so.
That's really so the part.
Well, man, I would that look different from how he acts now.
Yeah, you would never think he had a 148, right?
No.
You would think that he was full of shit.
Like, I believe a lot of what he says he's not full shit because he he says it so quickly
You're like hey this and something like you have no idea about he's like oh well as've ever come into contact with in my entire life.
No, I don't care who you throw out there.
Maybe the most...
Throw out anybody.
Are you talking intelligence or knowledge?
All the whole fucking kitten caboodle.
Why is wisdom?
You've so wait a second, you've met Eric, he's a doctor.
I, yeah.
You've met Scott Mosher more than once.
You've met Scott Mosher.
I don't care.
You've met him as more intelligent than both of them.
Yes.
Wow, okay. I mean, care. You get him as more intelligent than both of them. Yes. Wow, okay.
I mean, it's like when you really sit there and you start to like see him wow people.
I don't, you don't see him on a daily basis like I do.
It's fucking jaw dropping.
Wow, it's people with how smart he is.
How does he wow people by being in the kitchen?
Just knowing every thing.
He knows everything. He knows everything.
There's nothing he does to the
elderly. I don't know.
I don't know where to go with this.
I mean, I tease him and everything, but like
if I'm being honest, he legitimately is the most
intelligent person that I have ever come across in my entire life.
Is he get him?
What's your position on, um, yeah, come on over here, get him.
Any topic he should be a loaise on, right?
Well, I don't, you know, you know, what, again, no, I'm painting a picture like he's the perfect specimen.
Yeah.
I don't want to say that either.
Like, you know, he's not Einstein.
No, he's just.
So everybody we've ever met. We didn't make that mistake. Yeah, I don't want to say that either like like you know he's not Einstein. No, he's just Everybody we've ever met. We didn't make that mistake. Yeah
I'm feeling any set up for failure. Would you know a random topic traffic cameras?
In what sense? It's just what do you think about them? Should they be are they legal?
How do they work traffic cameras and monitoring traffic flow and things like that? Like red light cameras?
No, you have to ask him, can he build a traffic camera?
Not his opinion on if they're ethical.
But you said it was wise.
It's not his sign of intelligence.
I didn't even ask him if they were ethical.
I just asked what he thought about it.
I know where this is going.
I want to, I want to see some of that.
I mean some of that.
I'm like, it looks stupid.
So red light cameras.
How do you feel about them?
I mean, they do their job.
I think that, um,
Or do they do the job of the police?
They do the job of the police.
It's nothing that a police officer. Police can't be there everywhere at all times. Now, I think that, um, or do they do the job of the police? They do the job of the police. It's nothing that a police officer can't be there everywhere at all times.
Now I think it's wrong.
I didn't know this was a tag.
I do believe it's wrong.
It's the pally to install red light cameras, do things like shortening the
yellow lights below the standards that are set for you.
They do that.
Yes, I'm do.
Do I want to know they did that?
Did you know they did that?
I didn't know they did that.
Now you do.
But now doesn't that isn did that. Now you do?
But now, doesn't that, isn't that more likely
to cause traffic accidents?
Yes, that's a lot of people's objections
to traffic cameras is that by shortening the yellow lights
to unsafe limits that they're going to cause.
To make money.
Yeah, that there are people are going
to be slamming on their brakes and stuff like that.
This government is shit.
Plus some people find that the equations that regulate
what yellow lights should be, don't take into account things like turning lanes,
because you have to slow down to approach them, should mean the yellow light should be a little longer.
But I think the accepted time is supposed to be three to six seconds.
He's constantly informing me of information that I did not know.
Or care about. It is like on a like he is feeding like a staggering amount of knowledge to me that I
did not know before you know he told it to me so I mean nobody else that I've ever come across has
been has done that when I've come I got a hand I pulled Travis Kim out of my ass and he's well
versed on it. I was actually reading about it the other day, so.
No.
Because I was watching a...
Are you smart enough to stop tapping that mic?
I was watching a video of that guy,
that judge in Providence, Rhode Island.
I don't know if you've ever seen his court cases.
He really gives the...
He gives the...
He breaks his worry.
This is where you bore people.
No, okay.
You wowed them.
Just shut up.
Yeah, that's what he doesn't know when take back off, right?
Leave him want more much much less
So now that they're cute got another topic that like dark matter. I can't I can't understand we don't have enough time for dark matter
People way way smarter than I have not figured out what dark matter is exactly. But do you have a theory?
I've never really thought about it.
It's just the, you know, the matter that it is.
It's supposed to be the matter that fills up the empty space that matter takes, that
matter that we can observe.
It's been theorized because there's gravity moves in ways that it shouldn't and the only
explanation is that there's some kind of matter that can't be detected that's causing gravitational forces
that will lens things like light and other rays.
You're exquisite.
You are exquisite fucking.
And is it theory that dark matter follows the same rules as regular matter which
it cannot be created or destroyed or?
I mean like the laws of thermodynamics?
Yeah.
That I'm gonna admit, I don't know about it.
I haven't really looked into it.
All right.
What happened?
Why is it when someone flutches a toilet in Australia,
the water goes down the opposite way in America?
I believe that's like, it's supposed to be
the Coriolis effect, but I'm not sure if that's actually true
or not.
It might be like an urban legend propagated by things like the Simpsons
It's like having a walk in Google. Yeah, it's like there is a Coriolis effect
What is chud stand for the cannibalistic human underground dwellers?
Damn, he's good close enough. Yeah, you know, I'm humanoid even though I do yeah and people online give him you know
Like who really his haters
You know, he's not smart.
He's just a parroting things he read.
That's, you know, he can remember things.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
And then I don't know.
I don't know a lot of things, but one of the things I kind of, you know, a lot of things.
I know where to look for things.
I know how to look for things, how how to look for things have a phrase don't sell yourself they're great tools but you have to know what to
ask for to get the answer that you want right go to just trust the internet all
the time right no no definitely not Abraham was good. Back to your ex.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
I told you.
I tried the trip mode with two wildly different topics.
I mean, yeah, from the back.
He knew everything about everything.
Just scholarly.
Yeah.
It's a gift.
Now, do you think you could get into, well, you know what, let me finish this real fast.
The best part is they work for you this policy genius if you
hit any speed bumps during the application they'll take care of
everything and this has earned them a five star rating across over
1600. That's so much as good as our iTunes rating. Our iTunes rating is
fucking solid man. Five stars. I'm proud of very little.
Yeah, us policy genius. So if you need life insurance head to
policygenius.com right now to get started
You could say 50% or more by comparing quotes policy genius when it comes to insurance. It's nice to get it right
I think that you know like it's a shame that like
He didn't apply himself
Into the fields he should have went into is it too late for science?
He should have been a scientist.
And competitive eating.
He really, I mean, he, I mean, it's a gift to us that he's here, and you know, but I
think the world was robbed, you know, of what he could have provided.
You know, we may not be, we're sitting today as a world know, as a world, if Gidham Steve Dave hadn't flunked out of college.
Oh, he could have been the president. No, I mean, he's staying in college. Like, why did
he get kicked out again? His grades were bad. He just, yeah, he doesn't take tests well.
Oh, okay. You know, when he, when he's put on the spot, he usually comes up small.
But he just did pretty well right there
Right, I mean he doesn't feel the pressure of a real test right there. Gotcha. You know
Well, we can't discount the fact that he does for better or worse have autism and that's gonna affect his test taking ability
But I think that's why he's as smart as he is to yeah, I think that like it's like it's the curse, you know, it's a blessing in the curse because
it provided him with a brain
unlike any other person on the planet.
When we were really, you really are selling this guy.
I don't know where we're going.
I don't know where we're going.
There are two centers like Eric, who?
Show me this kid him.
You think with that intelligence,
he's got to be a skilled lover, right?
Skilled. Oh, I know. I know he's told me he is.
He said he is. He told me that he, he, he,
he doesn't care about his needs until his partners needs are met.
And he has put his, he has put his body through
his partner's needs are met and he has put his he has put his body through
Disfigurement his revenge to provide his lovers with pleasure. Yeah, that bump on his hand and that says everything about a human being doesn't it? Yeah, you know smart and selfless
Is there a better combination?
Well in a different package
combination? Well, in a different package, perhaps. That's how you're the bolding. You know, it's like a decorative bag versus like, you know, a grocery bag. You know, Christmas
time, you get a nice fucking, you know what though? He's, if he, if he applied himself, he
could fuck with himself into shape to
i believe too
he won't be about his application that's where he would lose girls i think
his complete lack of ambition to no i mean he doesn't want to lose weight he's
he's offered he's offered money to lose weight he's offered rent for his house
his apartment he's offered this he's offered that he doesn't care but i mean
what do you want though i mean he's fucking smart as a fucking whip.
And you want ambition to I don't think women are going.
Yeah, that's a lot of times they go hand in hand.
I think in fact, I think you can get more successful with ambition over
intelligence.
If you had to be one.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I believe that you're right.
I believe ambition can trump intelligence.
That's not a political statement.
No, no, no, no, come the fuck down.
Yeah, but we're recording this so we don't even know, like we're recording
this couple of weeks ago.
We've already smashed a few windows.
The election has passed.
By now, it's passed, yeah.
We probably don't know who won as of yet, but we may.
You think a week later, we still won't know who who won as of yet, but we may
You think of you're a week later. We still won't know you think it's be that close, huh? I don't know. I don't know. I mean, it's a possibility
It could be a trouncing no to though. I mean everything is set up for a trouncing as well
It feels like if you had to call it. Who do you think who do you think is a rule we're living on there now rule rule like the rule
I don't think we're living under anybody's rule
We're not I'm fucking monarchy if you don't believe that there's a ruling class uh yes I do but it's not the political class oh who is it it's the
fucking elites yeah but you don't think that they run who goes into the wine house
um no because I think if they did that Trump won't go in here the first time
really with all those tax cuts he did. Oh, yeah, you're right. Let's ask you to
That's end Alan
It is we know you don't know goddamn it
But what if you had the if you had the bet if you had the guess all that money that you got fucking and queues hair
I mean even if this even if this goes to even if this goes to the internet in two weeks
I think they're still gonna be mail-in ballots and haven't been eventually someone's gonna win. Who is it? What do you think it's gonna be?
I would, uh,
not say Trump, because he was,
I didn't expect him to win last time.
I remember going to bed and waking up
and finding out he was president.
I was like, wow, I did not expect that.
One bit whatsoever.
Yeah.
I said that, that makes you look like you're not smart.
What?
You should always say that you knew it.
I'll cut that part out.
No, I always say you knew it was gonna happen.
I'm sure it's online that I said that.
I'm not gonna.
Oh, you didn't know this was gonna happen?
Get real condescending and shit.
Yeah, you can, no it's gonna fact check you here.
You could have been like, you could have just told me
that you knew it was gonna happen.
And then, but you didn't know it was a fucking idiot.
I honestly think of Corona didn't happen.
He would have just walked right into the White House
for a second term.
Yeah.
Given the way that the country seemed to be moving
in a pretty good direction at that time
with the stock market and everything.
But now it's tough, but I think I know of some people
who used to be very democratic and are now pro-Trump
because they think that the coronavirus response
is overblown and I'm not saying they're right,
I, you know, it's a very tough issue
People are so unwilling to commit like I don't know. I think the coronavirus is kind of bullshit
Oh, I don't know. I don't I'm not saying you do. Yeah, but it's very rare that people want to say that like there's like people are so like
I don't want to say that because I don't get called a Nazi somebody was he was yelling to like I bet Bryce the kind of because a couple weeks ago
We were talking about masks and shit. I'm like a heat wear in the mask
Mm-hmm you guys heat wear in the mask.
You guys were both wearing the mask,
but I wasn't.
Bryce seems like the kind of guy
that would just go to the store and like not wear a mask.
And I'm like, what do you mean I seem like that type?
I haven't done it once.
Every time I go in a state,
I think it may have been you're in the car being like,
oh, I fucking forgot the God damn it.
It was your time when I was like of terrorizing Sonic's, though,
that made, you know, that people like, you know, they you know that people like you know they
conjecture or like you see what they make you okay well if he's if he
fucking was angry at a Sonic they're extrapolating yeah all right well don't
extrapolate man you can't fucking figure me out and Bob and we get all over the
place and if you had fucking just see me I made a bobbing and weaving motion to
prove my point very agile yeah. To out. Yeah.
But do you even said that you, I mean, what are they upset
that you don't like?
I don't like wearing a mask.
Nobody likes it.
I want to meet the person that's given a choice.
Would you like Ronu to go away and not wear a mask?
I want to meet the person that's like,
nah, it's okay.
I'm good.
Well, even, of course, I was just like,
I can't stand wearing the mask.
I don't want to wear the mask.
I see people, not me.
I see people being like, fuck it.
I'm not doing this anymore.
And I think in masks, like earlier today,
you were saying that some Mexican guy walked into 7-11.
Wasn't wearing a mask and...
No, yeah, it was, uh, blah-wah.
And was that wearing a mask?
And no one said a single word to him.
Like, I could see the employees like giving him a side eye.
And I'm like, I just waited until he was gone
and I stayed back, waited until he was gone and threw and then I checked out. I work at blah-wah, I feel like I'd be the same way. I'd be like, I don waited until he was gone and I stayed back, waited until he was gone and threw, and then I checked out.
I work at Wauwai, I feel like I'd be the same way.
I'd be like, I don't want to deal with this shit.
Yeah.
Oh wait, let me fucking go talk to that white guy over there.
I'll yell at him for keeping his mask down that way.
Nobody will give a fuck.
Yeah, I mean, I just, I try to do as much enforcement
as I can in the store, but.
Pam was in the grocery store wearing her mask down
under her nose, and she's like, it gets too hot, I can't breathe.
She has asthma, so of course she's fucking using that excuse.
I'm like, bitch, you're a nurse!
You're a fucking nurse!
Why keep the mask on at all?
Then go get a fucking note from your doctor that says you don't have to wear one.
And then deal with every mother fucker coming up to you.
Put the guy in the mask.
I got this car.
Just put it on.
Yeah.
I try to delirately tell people in the store and they do that.
I'm like, oh, it looks like your mask slipped down.
So it's like I'm not saying it's your fault.
It's like, oh, maybe it just slipped down.
You didn't realize it.
They're saying maybe 2021, the middle of it,
then there might be some movement towards not having to wear masks anymore.
That'd be nice.
Is it okay if I don't wear it then,
Mr. fucking red it jerk off.
I think this is a rip off, forget about it.
When you hear forget about it, what do you think of?
Brooklyn.
Brooklyn, right?
Yeah, it's a brand new.
No, I think it's a brand new.
Forget about it, New Jersey is the most hated state
in America.
New Jersey.
Why is it right, Dallas?
They're jelly.
They hate us because they ain't us.
Keep that up. Why do they hate us cuz they ain't us
Why do they hate oh Jersey show really fucking dang you guys up? Yeah, really turns out New Yorkers were right all along New Jersey is the most hated state in America. I don't remember here in New York or something
We talk about it. I know coming down to
The fucking day the fuck out of Jersey
Ten years of driving down here like a fucking asshole.
You can't hate it that much.
Have you heard some of the things that Brian Johnson's seen in New York?
I can understand why he doesn't go up there.
I go up there.
When I'm driving to New York and there's a fucking call with Jersey plates in front of me,
I know I'm in for a fucking fuck shop of a time.
I agree with you.
This guy doesn't know how to drive.
He goes below the speed limit.
He's going fucking, he's got his blinker on.
Jersey drives. Do you even use blinkers in New York
I see the way to New Yorkers drive your fucking assholes. I've seen the way cute
Good worse than a Jersey plate in front of you nothing an old man. It doesn't matter Jersey plate an old man from Florida
a Jersey plate is worse than I know lady from Florida
Because at least I can look at him be like well, that's an old lady I get it
But you get it fucking every every type of Jersey person we drive safe drive like fucking
We want to get there
It's so worth it's just the worst it's so depressing when you see Jersey playing in front of you like
New Yorkers. Yeah, get somewhere so quick
You're not gonna fucking important new New Yorkers. Yeah get somewhere so quick You're not gonna get the right
Every
Story to right there is a little left-layered already but the blink is on and we all say we're like fucking Jersey
There he goes this Jersey, you know what if you if we would stay out of New York if you fucking stop coming down here and fucking try and
Crowning up our beaches during the summer. We can't I can't even go down to the fucking shore of my family.
You guys build a fucking boardwalk and pull apart.
It's a fucking trap.
And everything man to draw people in and then you complain
when people come.
No only people from New York.
And it is I swear when New York people come around,
I'm like Jesus fucking Christ man.
Oh, they think they own it.
They think they own the fucking area.
They are the arrogance.
Yes.
Or you think you own it?
Yeah.
What do you own it? I own the car that I'm driving that they're fucking holding me up in that much I know
I love Jersey. I got nothing he gets Jersey. I love Jersey. That's why I'm surprised to say it's a hated state
You got so many good things here. Yeah, let's see why they hate it. I've always been a big fan of Jersey
I just I was
I think I wish you moved I might I actually they have been discussions of moving out
in New York. New York. I wish you moved I wish you moved to
Jersey. It's loathed by most people in New York,
Pennsylvania and Connecticut giving it a hatred index of
818 that was calculated by the percentage of the population
that has recently moved out of each state. So wait, so you
moved here into Jersey, then get the fuck out
again. You don't like it. I would like to. We got access to fucking precious New York.
We got the shore. We got everything.
Got Atlantic City. He was a fucking paradise. He was a fucking gem in the crown. No boy. Yeah, AC is not around.
I'm forgetting AC.
We're a stones throw from Foxwoods.
Tell him, Steve David.